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Destiny is Awkward
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Topic Started: Jul 22 2010, 07:00 AM (593 Views)
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Vivica
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Aug 2 2010, 03:43 AM
Post #16
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Caleb felt slightly bashful due to Sidonie’s comment, but he couldn’t deny it. Pathos was a very intelligent, respectable man who would not pick a shoddy successor. “I think I’m best at listening to and advising members of the temple. I’ve always been a people person, but I’m not as much of a social butterfly anymore. Now I spend a lot of my time writing sermons.” Bars were no longer appropriate for him to be, so his social life had been cut significantly. But if asked, Caleb would say that the fulfillment from the career was worth the loss.
The topic of her work seemed to put the young ice elf on edge, making Caleb wonder if he was trespassing on forbidden ground. His eagerness to learn and his curiosity piqued the desire to learn all he could about what she was in training for. He wanted to learn all he could about her, even her secrets. Astronomy was not a familiar topic to him, so he felt a little victorious for guessing almost correctly. She couldn’t have been an astrologer, since her goal was to become a navigator for a tribe, but what science was ‘like’ an astronomer? He had to wonder how religion was tied into the science. The secrets of Celest’s religion intrigued him and her offer to talk about it was tempting, but it was supposed to be off-limits to him. Rubbing the back of his neck, he reluctantly declined her offer. “Whether or not you can tell me about it is up to Father Trent, Sidonie. If you’re not allowed to tell me, then I won’t ask.” He would only make him and his temple look bad for weeding the secret out of a student and… “I don’t want to risk getting you into trouble, alright? There are many scriptures for me to read about here.”
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Hiros
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Aug 2 2010, 04:29 AM
Post #17
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“It does seem like you’d be good at those things.” She smiled, enjoying the chance to return compliments, and make him feel embarrassed and shy instead of her. “I’m enjoying talking to you…” She was glad she gave him another chance. Last night, she had been in a temper, and he was tired and in a strange place. But it seemed like they could get along fairly well under better circumstances.
Sidonie’s face fell when he rejected her offer. Even though she would get in more and more trouble, the more information she gave him, she really had wanted to share with him. “Oh… Okay…” She really hated that she had to keep it a secret from him. She was quiet for a while as she worked on the equations, embarrassed to have offered and got shot down. Sidonie wanted to be able to share openly with him. And besides, she was already going to be in trouble if someone found out that she was doing the work in the same room as him. A few more infractions wouldn’t have made the punishment much worse. What the equation revealed decided it for her. She stared at the numbers for a moment, and then checked the positions on the chart, and looked back at the equations. It seemed to be right. “Oh my…” She looked up at him, curious. She hadn’t ever heard of something like this happening. “I think… I know I’m not supposed to, but… I’m allowed to explain if it’s something really important…” Maybe Father Trent wouldn’t think it was important, but she did. It might be her only chance to learn about her past life. “And this…” She circled the area that she was figuring out, “Is pretty important.” She leaned in a little.
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Vivica
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Aug 4 2010, 07:01 AM
Post #18
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“An antisocial priest wouldn’t be easy for people to approach for help, so it’s not like being social is that commendable…” Now that she was playing the flatterer, Caleb nudged himself towards modesty. His social skills really were nothing to brag about because he genuinely enjoyed helping and the company of others. He had never liked to see somebody in a low mood whether it was at a bar or at the park. Her comment made him smile bashfully and his stomach flutter. “I could say the same to you…”
The young woman’s reaction to his declination made him wish that he could rescind it, but it would leave her at risk for getting in trouble with her mentor. She could potentially lose all of the temple’s trust by being careless with a secret. Though the thought of learning the hidden aspects of a religion that most were naïve about and hearing that secret from Sidonie excited him, he couldn’t put her at risk. “I don’t want to get you in trouble,” he offered as an explanation to try and get a smile out of her. The silence was uncomfortable, worrying him that he had really upset her, which was slightly confusing. Loyalty to the temple should have been a top priority; so, why did she want to tell him? Caleb watched her go back to work on her chart, watching her face with interest for a sign of what she was feeling. Their eyes met for a brief moment when she looked up from her work, but he glanced away as if he hadn’t been interested. He reprimanded himself for acting childish and looked to her again. “What is it?” The possibility that she was creating an excuse to tell him about the secret crossed his mind and that Trent was far too intelligent to think that Caleb was dumb enough to fall for her words. Sidonie herself was more tempting than her excuses; he wanted to be close to her and learning more about a religion was a bonus. “What’s important?” He leaned forward intently and studied the map that he couldn’t make sense of.
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Hiros
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Aug 4 2010, 07:32 AM
Post #19
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Sidonie paused for a moment as she decided how to go about explaining this unique phenomenon. “Well… Remember how I said yesterday that Celest gave us the stars to guide us through our travels and our lives? I interpret the “lives” part of that… Each star represents a soul, and the way they align can be interpreted as events in people’s lives, both past and future…” She felt really nervous about this whole thing. She kept pushing the rules, farther and farther. She hoped that she would be able to impress upon Caleb how important it was to keep this secret. And she hoped he would recognize that it was important that she tell him.
She looked uncomfortable for a second. She hadn’t thought that maybe telling him that she was snooping around in his past might make him mad. But… This still was important. “I don’t mean to pry… But I got assigned to do your past star charts…” She looked away briefly, feeling a little horrible. As important as this was, she didn’t want him to think she was a bad person. So she spoke quickly, trying to make it seem less weird. “It’s only really reliable when it’s the immediate future, because the equations to do stuff farther away are hard. So… I can only get a gist of it…” She blushed. “But… The important thing is… I have to ask… You… Um… Did you lose someone very important to you twenty years ago?” Her tone turned gentle.
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Vivica
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Aug 5 2010, 05:00 AM
Post #20
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Caleb felt skeptical about the temple being able to interpret the stars as lives. There was no mention of the gods arranging the heavens to be read by their people. The practice being secluded to the Ice Realm made it seem that the practice was no more than a superstitious tradition, like astrology. What they read in the stars may have been no more than the words of a typical fortune teller: “you will find wealth in the future” or “beware of those born in May.” They used lines that could be applied to most people’s past, present, or future. But, he was still curious and he didn’t want to present his thoughts before he knew more about the subject, so he nodded politely as Sidonie explained.
It interested him that she had been assigned to learn about him without having to ask him for information about himself like a fortune teller would. Was there truly substance to the practice, or was it just entertainment? He wanted to see if she had learned anything legitimate about his life. “Go on…” he encouraged her when she looked away from him. “I’m not upset about that.” If she could only read vague snippets of his life, then perhaps their divination really was nothing significant. But, as self-centered as it sounded when he thought it over, he wanted to hear about himself. Caleb’s back became rigid, unprepared for what Sidonie had planned to ask. It had to be more than a coincidence—she had gotten the amount of years since his death correct. “I did,” Caleb glanced away for a moment with a frown and wondered if she knew more details about his loss. It was always brought down his mood to talk about Moshe’s death, but he wanted to tell her; it felt like it was the right thing to do. “Twenty years ago, my fiancé was murdered…” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his stomach. “Why do you bring that up?”
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Hiros
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Aug 5 2010, 05:50 AM
Post #21
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She felt encouraged by his comments, but when she saw how he reacted to her question, she felt like crying. She didn’t mean to bring up something that was still painful to him. “By his brother…” The ice elf added quietly when Caleb said what happened to his fiancé. That part, she had known. She had done research on her own lives. But she needed his confirmation to know that she had gotten it right. She would feel awfully foolish if this was all a case of bad math. “Not to hurt you...” It seemed like he was withdrawing from her. She rubbed her eyes, “I’m sorry…”
“The reason that I ask…” She took a deep breath. “Your fiancé’s star… and my star… they’re the same.” She paused. She wondered if he would blame her for her previous incarnation’s death. After all, she wouldn’t have been born if it wasn’t for that. “He must have wanted to be alive very much…” She fidgeted, and looked at him nervously. She didn’t want him to reject her. Because she was sure that it would be very easy for him to say that it was a lie. It wasn’t as if he understood how the star reading worked. It was true though. She was certain of it now.
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Vivica
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Aug 6 2010, 06:43 AM
Post #22
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Caleb was unsure of how to react to Sidonie knowing how Moshe had passed on. He watched her as a lump formed in his throat and then nodded slowly. “Yes…” It had been years since thinking about it had brought him close to tears. He felt shocked that their star-reading worked and upset that she had learned about the most devastating event in his life. There was no way for him to deny that she knew his history. It couldn’t have been that she had brought up the memory to hurt him; he wanted her to be a better person than that. She must have had a reason for asking him about it, so he had no reason to get angry at her yet. “It’s alright…”
Again, what she revealed hit Caleb hard. He turned from her, hunched over, and put a hand over his mouth as he drew in a slow breath. Memories of how many times he had wished that he could see Moshe and hold him once more overwhelmed him until tears began to flow from his eyes. Caleb closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh. Sidonie wasn’t Moshe, but was it her soul that was the cause of his intense attraction towards her? Was it wrong of him to have those feelings? “I’m sorry…” he breathed out, then wiped tears from his eyes and faced her again. “I miss him, but I haven’t cried over this in years…” His mind urged him to get up and embrace her, pet her hair, and kiss her forehead, but he reminded himself of her boyfriend again—which made the discovery even more painful. Past lover or not, he couldn’t have her and now, he ached for her.
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Hiros
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Aug 6 2010, 10:18 PM
Post #23
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Sidonie’s eyes widened as the news hit him like a physical blow. She was worried for a moment that he might throw up. She sniffled, wiping away tears of her own. She felt horrible for having wounded him, and she wanted nothing more than to hug him until he was no longer sad, and kiss away his tears. She must have been very lucky in her past life, to have such a devoted lover. She couldn’t imagine Quill crying like that even one day after her death, let alone twenty years after. He was a strong, reliable person, but he was never very emotional, and rarely understanding about her moods.
“I’m sorry…” Her voice was soft and soothing. She didn’t want to make him feel worse. “It’s rare that someone meets someone who knew them in their previous life… I thought it wasn’t fair to not tell you…” She sniffled. Impulsively, she stood up and walked around the table to put a hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to cause you pain…” She wondered what the purpose was for him be here, and have her find out their past connection. Maybe it was to bring Caleb further healing. And for her to maybe learn more about her past life. It’d be nicer if she didn’t have a good boyfriend, and if her future wasn’t already decided, and Caleb didn’t have to go back to the light realm. Why bring them together? It was mysterious.
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Vivica
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Aug 7 2010, 11:02 PM
Post #24
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“You don’t have to apologize…” Caleb sighed while he rubbed his eyes and then slouched in the chair. “I’m shocked… Who could have expected anything like this?” He wanted to know if Sidonie’s past life affected any feelings she had towards him. His desire for her seemed like fate now that he knew who she used to be; maybe her feelings towards him were just as intense. It was possible, wasn’t it? Fearful of how much he wanted to connect with her, he flinched when she moved to lay her hand on his shoulder. It made him tingle and he felt a shockwave coarse through his body when he took her hand and squeezed it. “I don’t think you did… Thank you for telling me.” Tilting his head towards her, his dark eyes looked up to her. “Do you mind if I tell you about it?” She had the right to know and he wanted to prolong holding her hand.
“We were one day away from our wedding when his brother invited us over. He had never approved of our relationship…” It was rare, in his realm, that he had met Ithai, a homophobic, villainous light. “I didn’t want to make Moshe go alone, so I went with him. Ithai poisoned him right in front of me and it hit him when we were walking home…”He squeezed her hand tightly and wished that he could hold her. “I didn’t have a chance to get him to a hospital. It shattered my world… Ithai was executed after that, but at the time, I didn’t even care. I just wanted Moshe back.”
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Hiros
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Aug 8 2010, 01:04 AM
Post #25
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“Me too… I’ve never heard of something like this happening…” Maybe this type of meeting wasn’t as uncommon as she thought, but it certainly was rare that people knew of the past relationship, and one of them had memories of it still. Her heart beat quicker when he grabbed and squeezed her hand. Without realizing it, she leaned in slightly. His eyes were so lovely. “I don’t mind at all…”
So Moshe was the man’s name. It didn’t mean much to her, but it was nice to know. The day before his wedding… When they’d be excited and happy and maybe hopeful that his brother would finally approve. Only to have it taken away. It was too cruel. She rubbed his hand with her thumb, trying to soothe him. “That’s terrible, Caleb…” The circumstances surrounding the death made her wonder if Moshe was trying to get back to the poor priest. To die with unfinished business, but be reincarnated so quickly… Maybe he meant to get back to him. Maybe Caleb’s foreignness wasn’t what made him so attractive to her. Or maybe it was why she liked tall dark and handsome? It made her feel guilty, for having a boyfriend when she wanted the strange priest, and for being so easily distracted from Quill. Not that she wanted to cheat… She didn’t even know if Caleb liked women too. But… She couldn’t help being interested.
“Sometimes the gods answer prayers in very strange ways.” She smiled and squeezed his hand back. “I hope we can be good friends.” It felt like a sort of awkward thing to say, but she couldn’t exactly jump into his arms and promise to be his. She had to be sensible. And she wanted to be able to continue talking to him, about Moshe. And about other things too. But right now, it seemed like a good subject. “What was he like?” She could tell some basic things that had happened to him, like the big events in his life, but it was hard to read personality into the stars.
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Vivica
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Aug 9 2010, 07:49 AM
Post #26
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Caleb was not content enough with having his hand stroked by Sidonie. When she leaned in even closer, he could feel the warmth of her body, tantalizing and teasing him. He wanted desperately to rest his head against her chest and to have his hair pet. Their closeness was doing little more than making it apparent how much he wanted her and it was driving him crazy.
“I couldn’t sleep right for a while after he died; only a few hours each night.” After he no longer cried at night, he adopted the habit of late night reading, which he continued to be attached to. “I quit my job and spent a lot of my time praying in the temple. I hoped that his soul wouldn’t suffer because of his murder. It seems like it found a good person to settle with…” It brought him relief to know that Moshe’s spirit wasn’t trapped wandering the realms, haunting places of memory, or trapped in the Sea of Souls. Rather than being selfish, Caleb told himself that he should be happy that Moshe’s soul had found a happy, fulfilling life. It wasn’t right that he wanted to be the one to make her happy. His religion was his life.
He made a small, unenthusiastic sound of agreement, deterred by the word “friend.” That was the sort of phrase reserved for parting ways with a significant other, or for turning down somebody vying for a romantic relationship. Had Sidonie assumed that Caleb would be interested in her because of his relationship with her past life? Or maybe she had guessed his feelings by the way he looked at her. Averting his gaze, Caleb nodded. “He was a light and he taught magic… He was really dedicated to his work and he was responsible; he always made sure his work was done before he came to bed. And he would get a little grumpy if I tried to bother him before…” Caleb smiled to himself. Even if Moshe got grumpy, unless they had fought earlier, he was able to distract him from his work for at least a little while. “He was adorable when he was upset. Ah, he would be mad if he heard me say that… But, he was. He liked to gossip… Oh,” he looked to Sid and smiled warmly. “and he loved strawberries—like you. He had a sweet tooth.”
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Hiros
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Aug 9 2010, 09:20 AM
Post #27
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“That’s when you became a priest, isn’t it?” He had said before that it was because he had started spending more time at the temple. His words felt heavy, like she had been given a burden. He wanted his fiancé’s soul to be at peace, and he thought she was a good person to have it… It felt like that meant she would have to be extra careful, in order for him not to worry. She didn’t want him to worry about her. Well, maybe a little, but she didn’t want him to suddenly decide that she wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t as if he could do anything about it, but… She’d hate for him to be disappointed in her. “I’ll try to live up to that…”
She felt disappointed when he didn’t sound enthusiastic about being her friend. Maybe he didn’t want a reminder of Moshe around. Or maybe he didn’t want to be friends with an emotional teenager. Maybe for all of their talking, he still didn’t like her, because of last night. She didn’t want to lose him. If he really didn’t like her… At least he’d probably still keep up relations with the temple. She might still see him again. A small part of her thought it was irrational that she was scared that he didn’t like her, since they were holding hands and sharing dangerous secrets. But, it terrified her anyway.
It was interesting to hear what the man Caleb had loved was like. She found herself thinking about which of the traits were similar. She was dedicated… but obviously her responsibility could use some work, considering she was breaking rules. But she was hard working. She enjoyed studying and helping around the temple. She didn’t think she was adorable at all, so it’d probably be embarrassing if he had said it about her… She wanted him to say it though. For anyone to say it, but him especially. She liked gossip… Or at least, she liked hearing stories about the other realms. Maybe he would be willing to be friends… She couldn’t help but match the warm smile when he turned his face back to her. She giggled a little. “Strawberries are delicious.” She squeezed his hand again. “He sounds like a wonderful person.”
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Vivica
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Aug 10 2010, 08:29 AM
Post #28
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“Yeah, it was around then…” Priesthood had been his way of putting meaning back into his life when it had been lost. Now he found himself wanting more meaning in his life. Guilt nudged at him for not being content with only Thantos; his guidance had helped him get his life back together. It was different from the times that he had come close to breaking his vows of chastity. In spite of his internal conflict, it felt right to want Sidonie. It was corny, but their meeting seemed like the gods’ way of saying that they belonged together—as more than friends.
“He was… Sometimes we fought pretty badly, but it never took long for us to make up. We had broken up once before that, so we never wanted to lose each other again.” He had acted like a fool without Moshe, drinking in excess every night until he had poisoned himself. His younger self hadn’t wanted to be sober without Moshe. He had been scolded badly when Moshe found him in a drunken state, nearly dead, but at the time he had only been happy to have his lover back. “We were living together when he died and after that, I moved back home. But I went to the temple a lot and Pathos noticed, so he offered to train me for priesthood. So I left home and moved in there. And here I am now…” He remembered feeling guilty for leaving his little brother without an older sibling, but a life in the temple had saved him.
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Hiros
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Aug 10 2010, 08:52 PM
Post #29
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“Quill and I fight sometimes…” Those fights were mostly solved by Sidonie being easily distracted, or by Quill leaving for a while. She was normally happy to see him after a dangerous hunt that minor irritations went away. “Why did you break up, if you don’t mind me asking?” It sounded like maybe it was because of a fight. Were all of Caleb’s memories of him fighting? It sounded like a difficult relationship. But… Apparently it was worth it, if Caleb was still so upset about the loss.
“We might not have met if you hadn’t become a priest…” If he didn’t like the cold, as a layman, he probably would have never had a reason to come here. And it was highly unlikely that Sidonie would ever have a reason to leave. She wanted to see the other realms, and experience other places, but she had responsibilities here that made those dreams seem unlikely. But playing the what if game could easily get out of control. If he hadn’t become a priest, maybe Moshe would have been reincarnated as someone who could find him easier. If he hadn’t died, then there would be no reason for them to meet. How sad…
Sidonie let go of his hand and sat back down. After this discovery she thought it would probably be difficult to go back to work. And she had pushed the boundries of her luck far enough. It’d be better to not risk being caught. So she carefully started putting her notebook and the star chart away. “We can keep talking… I just want to put this away… I’m too distracted to work on it much more today.” She smiled apologetically. She didn’t want him to think that her putting stuff away meant that she was done talking to him and wanted to leave.
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Vivica
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Aug 11 2010, 09:38 PM
Post #30
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“All couples have their fights.” Although he had never seen his parents argue, he was sure that they had tiffs every now and then. Argument was part of a healthy relationship; no good could come of bottling up all of one’s emotions. He contemplated not revealing the story behind Moshe’s and his break up. Although he had been justified in his jealousy and paranoia, it reflected poorly on his character. But he felt that Sidonie had a right to know: she wanted to know more about her previous life. “It’s complicated… There was a woman interested in him. I didn’t like him being around her, so I let him know and he thought that it was because I didn’t trust him.” He hadn’t wanted to let the busty woman have the satisfaction of being around Moshe. “We went to a campground on vacation and she showed up there. I got upset about it and he was tired of it, so he dumped me.” It hadn’t been his day; their vacation ended early and they both went home alone. Upon returning to his house, Caleb had found that his horse had passed away. “He came to see me a few weeks later and he found me passed out in my room, nearly dead from drinking too much. He healed me and told me that his brother had sent the woman after us so I would react. We got back together after that and it wasn’t long before he proposed to me…” After the incident, Caleb couldn’t get it out of his head why Moshe would ever have another reason to trust his older brother. He wondered if he had pushed Moshe hard enough, that he wouldn’t have gone to his brother’s house. He had been too fearful of pushing too hard and having Moshe break up with him again. In that scenario, he would still be alive, but he couldn’t wish that; it would mean that Sinodie’s life wouldn’t exist.
“That’s true. I wouldn’t have had a reason to come to the Ice Realm. My father doesn’t like the cold, so we never would have even visited.” He wished that the gods had more of a reason for having them cross paths other than letting him know who housed his late lover’s soul now.
He was reluctant to have her let go of his hand, though he didn’t let it show. “I’m sorry. Am I being distracting?” The mention of work reminded him of the book he was supposed to be reading. Ah, but there would be time for that. The day was long. “At least you’re still up for conversation. The topic is heavy, but I don’t feel awkward talking to you about it.”
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