| Reviews for:The Last Dragon | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 27th December 2010 - 11:40 PM (286 Views) | |
| Ruby | 27th December 2010 - 11:40 PM Post #1 |
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Stuck in the 80s
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Reviews for The Last Dragon go here. :ruby:
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| peggs9 | 1st January 2011 - 03:07 AM Post #2 |
Level 6 Member
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pretty cool idea for a story i don't know much about... um i think it was final fantasy you said it was inspired by, was that it?but in any case its a nice original idea for a story. you're always good with coming up with unique ideas. im not a big fan of GT so i don't normally read gt related fics, but the concept for this one is mpre interesting than most which are weird trunks/pan things.i liked the descriptions of shenlong/goku and gero's new inventions and stuff. i thought everyone was pretty in character too. good to see 18 in a story! the only thing that stood out to me that needed work was a little more explanation about why Vegeta would want to leave Bulma and trunks and make his own kingdom. i think there needs to be more history behind that, to explain why Vegeta would want a kingdom of his own on earth. that confused me a bit. |
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| Ruby | 1st January 2011 - 04:42 AM Post #3 |
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Stuck in the 80s
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Thanks for the review. ![]() I don't write Trunks/Pan fics. Those things really are weird...and a little gross. Final Fantasy is an immensly popular series of video games. The first Final Fantasy game I ever played a couple years ago inspired me to create this story. This fic is loosely based on it, but changed to fit the DBGT world and charecters. About Vegeta having his own kingdom. Yeah, that's something I should of put more thought into. ^^; Vegeta didn't leave Bulma for good. The idea was that he is now getting old, and he wanted to have his own kingdom before he died of old age. So he set out to do just that. Trunks stayed with Bulma to help her invent new tech stuff for Capsule Corp since they're both so good at it, and Bra went with her dad to become a spoiled little princess and get waited on hand and foot. So basically Vegeta's in his mid 70's and left to fullfill his dreams before he kicks the bucket. ![]() Later in the story there will be an explanation as to how and why Dr. Gero is alive so this will all make more sense. |
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| Ruby | 1st January 2011 - 05:28 AM Post #4 |
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Stuck in the 80s
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Good lord, I just noticed a horrible typo in my fic! A whole big section got cut out somehow. No wonder that seemed confusing to you peggs, half of one of the posts was left out. I must of hit the wrong key or something while I was typing. I'm going back to fix that post right now. How embarassing... I wonder what went wrong... EDIT:Okay, I see what went wrong. It wasn't that most of it was left out, it was a double post with half the text missing from the second post. I deleted the extra post so the story should look better now. My internet was acting up the night I posted that. That must of been what caused the mistake. But still, how embarassing to screw up like that and not notice it until now. |
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| peggs9 | 4th January 2011 - 05:51 AM Post #5 |
Level 6 Member
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i really enjoyed this chapter about the phantom forest, it was amazing! the descriptions about the lights in the distant parts of the forest and the whispering of the spirits was very poetic and descriptive. i felt sorry for all the dead animals, it was very atmospheric and bleak. you did a great job with this chapter. curious to see how they'll get off the train! loved ghost salesman too and goku cleaning out vegetas food then saying 'hi vegeta!' in the middle of a mouthful. love it when he does that^_^ |
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| peggs9 | 23rd March 2011 - 03:20 AM Post #6 |
Level 6 Member
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i see you are now continuuing your story. its always great to see all the original ideas coming through in your story, there was again this really nice description of light, where it ws compared to the beating of a heart. some very nice metaphors i dont tend to get as much time to read things and post these days due to my heavy workload at uni but ill still try to every now and then
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:ruby:




but ill still try to every now and then
12:41 AM Jul 11