| Welcome to Brackenwood. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| I Need A Good Description For This Character; Please help!! | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 17 2005, 10:48 PM (357 Views) | |
| Turnip05 | Sep 17 2005, 10:48 PM Post #1 |
|
Majestic Turnip
|
Pease help! I need a description for a young boy (18) he has to be handsome. So please help me!! |
![]() |
|
| Sigfried | Sep 18 2005, 02:42 AM Post #2 |
![]()
Objection!!!
|
mmmm, not my department really, Ignia can help you for sure
|
![]() |
|
| Ignia | Sep 18 2005, 02:47 AM Post #3 |
![]()
Lady of Roman Fire
|
Can you be a little more vague please?
Right; there are many different types of handsome. Here's a few of the usuals: A tall boy about my age was leaning against a pole. He was turned away from me, and so the first thing I noticed was his tassled black hair and his ruffed up jeans. He was a good foot over my head, and I couldn't help but rubberneck as I passed him. His doe eyes didn't seem to notice my gaze, and his long face gave no hint of a smile. Ooo! This is fun! Here's another:I couldn't help but return his smile; that quiet yet confident smile that always leads my vision into his bright green eyes, framed by blond hair. Give me a little more to go on and I'll write 'til the keyboard breaks! |
![]() |
|
| Turnip05 | Sep 18 2005, 09:36 PM Post #4 |
|
Majestic Turnip
|
I was thinking of a moody kind of boy, maybe the mysterious type. But I was also thinking more olden times than modern, cause its a fantasy. Is that okay to work on? |
![]() |
|
| Ignia | Sep 19 2005, 04:33 AM Post #5 |
![]()
Lady of Roman Fire
|
<not a mind reader Moody. Got it. But 'olden' how? You want knights? Ancient Rome? Give me a culture and a date! E.g. Roman, 79 AD (Pompeii, Auguse 24, 79 AD )If you want something really good, give me some of the story context. Why is he moody? What is his challenge? With whom does he interact? The more you give me the more I can give you. [edit] If you want to take a stab of it yourself, model your character after someone you know. That's what I do a lot. For example, the main character of my novel is modeled a bit after my sister's looks. |
![]() |
|
| Turnip05 | Sep 20 2005, 01:02 AM Post #6 |
|
Majestic Turnip
|
The 1600 to 1650 was what I was thinking of time wise. No-one uses guns, just swords, daggers ect. He's moody cause he has lived on his own for five years, also because he regrets alot of things in the past, such as killing people and not being able to save the people he loves. Basic dramatic past. :rolleyes: In the story I'm begining to patch together he is forced into living in a small country village and this changes his behaviour, but he's still ashamed of his past. Sorry I didn't give you all the details before, i just wasn't sure what infomation to give. Sorry again
|
![]() |
|
| Sigfried | Sep 20 2005, 03:37 AM Post #7 |
![]()
Objection!!!
|
uuuhhhh, do you ever heard about mosquets right??
|
![]() |
|
| Phoenixphire44 | Sep 20 2005, 08:18 AM Post #8 |
|
Gone
|
With slow hesitated steps, he trudges through the thick mud. The rain pelts down on him, lining his long rigid features. His long dark hair is drawn back behind his scalp. The lighting shoots across the sky, appearing as the white veins of heaven. His horse rears up in fright. His stare softens at the beast's wild eyes. His stiff hands become loving for a moment, and comb through the horse's mane. The man settles the load on it's back. Checking to secure his few belongings. With a glance to the forest from whence he came, the sky is illuminated again. His stare returns to his face. He thumbs a woman's handkerchef, stiched with bright flowers, he brings the cloth to his face and inhales deeply. He can still smell her. A thunder clap wake his sences, he has not time to remember her. They will be after him soon. He leads his horse down a slick muddy hill and pounds the towns gate. The rain grows in intensity. Like silver bands striking the earth before exploding into a thousand rain drops. He slams his gloved hand onto the rain soaked wooden gate. "Who's there? Answer me.", roars a deep weathered voice. He pounds the gate again with his fist defiantly. This man has no time for questions. The gate creaks open as the gate keeper waves his lantern at the stranger. The lantern's light grazes the skin of the dark stranger with a slight bit of warmth. The only warmth this man has felt in five isolated years. The gate keeper hits the brim of the man's hat to reveal his eyes. A move the gate keep would quickly regret. In one swift movement the gate keep was pinned to the wall with his own dagger drawn betrayingly towards his throat. The old gate keep closed his eyes and swallowed the rain that poured down his throat has he cried for mercy. Silence. The stranger spoke not a word. The old man was now face to face with him. With piercing eyes that seemed to dive down to the gate keep's soul, the man growls one audible word, "Mercy?" The man throws the gate keep aside and walks through the gate. His horse follows. He leaves the gate keep sputtering on his knees. He walks by the blacksmith's shop, and lead his horse into the corral. He ties a small bag of gold to its harness and takes the beast's load onto his own back. He warms his hands over the ambers of the black smith's fire. With his belongings on his back, he walks to the inn. A young girl watches him from a window at the top floor of the inn. She waves at him in her unfiltered innocence. The young girl's smile ignites a memory from so long ago. Saddness takes the place of his stare. He waves back bareing a lip tight smile. The rain pelting his face insures that she hadn't seen the tears that welled up in his eyes from so long ago. Her mother comes to the window. It's obvious she doesnt approve of the stranger. She wiskes the girl away from the window. The man is alone again with a painful familiar feeling. |
![]() |
|
| Sigfried | Sep 20 2005, 08:29 AM Post #9 |
![]()
Objection!!!
|
i bow before your majestic grace
|
![]() |
|
| Ignia | Sep 20 2005, 09:44 AM Post #10 |
![]()
Lady of Roman Fire
|
Holy-! Yeah, what she said. |
![]() |
|
| Turnip05 | Sep 20 2005, 09:30 PM Post #11 |
|
Majestic Turnip
|
Oh my god, thank you so much. Thats Perfect!!!
Thankyou thankyou thankyou. |
![]() |
|
| Kithas | Sep 23 2005, 02:44 PM Post #12 |
|
Pillow King
|
It could have been better. So what is this moody guy anyway, a bandit? Highwayman? A pirate on the run from the port authorities? I don't like the moody types anyway, everybodies character is moody. You should make him bitter maybe, but not moody. Bitterness is kinda what I got from Phoenix's story anyway so it works, yeah? Personally I would make him cocky. Like he knows that there are people after him and that he's been all alone and has only himself to look out for but he's okay with it. Cause he knows he's so damn good at what he does that they'll never get him. And even if they do it won't be without a fight, and he'll take at least ten of the bastards with him when he goes. Anyway good luck with the story, hope to get to read it. And Sig's right, you should have muskets. Every good highwayman's got a musket, or at least a pistol. |
![]() |
|
| Turnip05 | Sep 23 2005, 09:40 PM Post #13 |
|
Majestic Turnip
|
Thanks, maybe I will put some muskets in. Maybe in one of the large battles i'm doing. he's not a highway man but an outlaw on the run from the 'wardens' (Police basically) And yeah, he ain't gonna go without a fight. Whats wrong with a moody character? I did say the village was gonna change how he acts didn't I? |
![]() |
|
| Kithas | Sep 24 2005, 06:16 AM Post #14 |
|
Pillow King
|
Moody characters are just too played out. Seems like everyones always moody. I just like characters who aren't. That's all. |
![]() |
|
| Ignia | Sep 24 2005, 08:18 AM Post #15 |
![]()
Lady of Roman Fire
|
kithas, every story needs a problem to solve! And half the stories are Man vs. Himself! Even if a lot of the story is Man vs. Man or Man vs. Nature/Society, all good stories need Man vs. Himself (The best having all three). I am of the strict openion that you can't tell a person what his characters personality should be like. That can only come from the creator himslef. If someone told me to rewrite Ave's personality I'd laugh in his face! Ave's moody! Deal with it! And, Turnip, dynamic characters by definition must change, and a well rounded character has more than one piece of shit making up his personality. Ave again for example: He starts out cold, brutal, and selfish, but when he sees the fire apparition dieing it reminds him of his past sh*t. As the story goes on, he slowly melds into the tetrad of companions finding his place and reson. Finally he is able to overcome his past sh*t and take control of his own life. What's the first thing to happen (because my novel kicks arse ) He gets more sh**!The moral of the story is: Without a problem to solve there IS no story. |
![]() |
|
| Kithas | Sep 25 2005, 03:50 PM Post #16 |
|
Pillow King
|
Yeah, that's true. I just think there are too many moody people in stories out there. I like the ones who think they either know everything and get proven wrong, or the ones who think they don't know anything and get proven wrong. They have to sort their sh*t to make it through the whole of their little adventure or whatever but they aren't "moody". Like, take my character Lucius in my story I put up here just recently. He's a witch hunter and an apprentice to an older, wiser witch hunter. He's realizes that he doesn't know everything and so he looks to his mentor for help, but when his mentor gets hurt he starts to have to solve problems on his own. This kind of character is the kind I get along with. He's not a complainer, in fact he doesn't ever mention his past. He just does the job at hand and goes along with life. This is the kind of character I like. The kind that just do what needs to be done in a stoic manner and don't ask for any kind of reward. I'm not saying Ave is asking for reward, I hate to say this but I don't even know that character. I've never read all of one of your stories. Mostly cause I don't identify with your world, sorry. But I don't expect you to have read mine either so no big deal. Anyway I think if he wants a moody character that's great, I just wish he didn't so that I could read it too. That's all. |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
![]() Our users say it best: "Zetaboards is the best forum service I have ever used." Learn More · Sign-up for Free |
|
| « Previous Topic · Anything Stories · Next Topic » |








Ooo! This is fun! Here's another:

5:13 AM Jul 12