Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Brackenwood. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
A very short story; that I wrote in High School
Topic Started: Nov 29 2005, 10:01 AM (92 Views)
UloDeTero
Brackenwood Newbie
Hi All

I discovered Brackenwood via Newgrounds, and joined this forum thanks to the excellent Sarus language. I am now learning Spanish, Esperanto and Sarus :D Anyway, since I'm a member of this forum, I thought I'd post this short story that I wrote in High School. The assignment was to write a short Narnia-like story. Bear in mind I was only about 12 when I wrote this. I'm not too great with storytelling, but I like to think I have good ideas, and this story reflects my early ingenuity and love of languages. I'm also going to try to get it translated into Esperanto, and I'd love to see it in Spanish! (Unfortunately, it wouldn't really work in Sarus I don't think...) :P By the way, I'm half-considering writing a sequel (a proper, "full" story), but I'm having trouble thinking of a good storyline. I have some ideas, but I'd appreciate constructive input!

Anyway, here it is! :

--- The Story of Dnalsi ---

One Friday, after a tiring week at school, I was walking home from school. I was bored. So bored that I thought I'd kick the first stone I could see. Then I saw it. I kicked the stone and it bounced off a wall, but I seemed to stare at the stone as though I was in suspended animation. Suddenly my hand moved by itself and picked the stone up, then I shook myself out of the daze and put the stone in my pocket. The stone was kind of a blue colour. Further along the road a car stopped to turn into the main road. After a few seconds the car suddenly started and sped into the road. As it turned, the car threw a hub-cap off and it rolled toward me. It seemed somehow to grow smaller, then it jumped out of the road and into my hands which had automatically moved to catch it. I put it in my pocket with the stone, which was flatish.

Further along the road a lady in a red coat walked past me, and as she did a red button flew off her coat. Again, my hands were out and I caught the button, which was just like a round red disc with funny writing around it. I put it in my pocket. When I got home I thought I'd try a kind of experiment. I would see if my Mum could tell that the button things were on top of the taps and the mini hub-cap on the emergency plug hole. I put them on and then they all seemed to glow a faint pulsating purple. I thought I was imagining it at first so I just carried on as normal. I closed my eyes, sighed, and went to lean on the oven door. Meanwhile, the glows joined, grew brighter and sort of fired at the oven door, then the oven door glowed as well. By now I thought I would have touched the door. I carried on in case I hadn't and bumped into something, but not with my head. I opened my eyes and saw the bright purple pulsating oven door. I reached for the door and my hand went straight through it! I put my head through and saw... water! I gasped, and nearly choked. I was underwater! I pulled my head back through. I could still taste the water but my hair wasn't wet! I dived through the oven door and rose to the surface of the water. I found myself underneath a bridge, and I saw a weird person on the river bank. And so started the great adventure.


I swam to the river bank. The weird person introduced himself as Ecreif. He told me to follow him. About half an hour later we reached a big mud hut.
"This is the palace" explained Ecreif. I walked in. The King demanded to know how I got to Dnalsi. I told him all about it, then he said
"You must bring these stones to Dnalsi, they are needed here!"
"What for?" I asked.
"All will be revealed soon enough". So I jumped back into the river carrying two big rocks to help me sink. I soon found a big section of rock with a big pulsating purple hole in it. I then swam through... and ended up in a heap on the kitchen floor.

That night I stayed up until half past eleven trying to work out the code on the red button. The message read:
"The red on the red, the blue on the blue,
Will get you to Dnalsi, the artifacts too".

The next day I found a red spot and a blue spot on the mini hub-cap. I put the red stone on the red spot and the blue stone on the blue spot, then they all glowed pulsating purple, joined, grew brighter and then fired at the oven door again. I dived through holding the stones and rose to the top. Ecreif was there waiting for me.
"I suppose you want to see the King", he said, "follow me!"

Half an hour later, in the palace, the King was explaining.
"You see", he said, "Ecreif the fierce is worrying our witch-doctors to death. He is always fighting animals, wild animals. And guess who wins. The animals do, taking a limb with them! And the witch-doctors have to keep giving him animal limbs. You saw his deer's foot and crab's arm, didn't you? Well, now the witch-doctors have run out of animal limbs! Ecreif has to go! Somehow or other! That's where you come in. You see”, he said, “all you have to do is go to the top of Mount Niatnuom and make the fiercest animal in the whole of Dnalsi destroy the stones. Pretty simple, eh?”
“No” I replied “er, so, erm, what was that again?”
“Go through the secret passage to the top of the mountain... “
“Where's the secret passage?” I asked.
“Inside the cove”
“And where is the cove?”

Later, I got a boat from the supermarket, explaining that it was for a royal commission, and set off into the cove. At the back of the cove I got out of the boat and found a tunnel which I followed, still carrying the stones. Eventually there were some spiral steps which I followed up and up and up and up and out! Onto the top of the mountain. Now all I have to do, I thought to myself, is to find the fiercest animal in the whole of Dnalsi and make it destroy the stones. Brilliant. I then looked around and saw... nothing. Not an animal in sight. I looked further down the sides of the mountain to see if it was coming up. No. Then I saw Ecreif about two metres down rummaging in the mountainside.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Collecting moss for the witch-doctors to make Ekac cakes with”. This is interesting, I thought. I forgot about the commission for a while and decided to learn more about these Ekac cakes.
“How do you make them?” I enquired.
“Well”, started Ecreif, “as far as I can work out, you get a clump of moss...” He got a clump of moss.
“...you stick these red and blue stone type things on...” He stuck my red and blue stone type things on.
“...you stick this round metal type thing on...” He stuck my round metal type thing on.
“...then you eat it!”
“Wait!!” I shouted, but it was too late. He'd eaten my stones. They were no use to anyone now. No use whatsoever. I now knew there was nothing I could do for the Dnalsi witch-doctors. I'd found the stones for no reason. I'd come to this weird Dnalsi place for no reason. Ecreif was turning pulsating purple and disappearing for no reason. Ecreif was turning pulsating purple and disappearing?! Mission accomplished!!!

That night there was a big party! Everyone was dancing in the open areas, eating Ekac cakes. And because of my success, the witch-doctors decided to tell me all about the Ekac cakes. The moss was cooked, then little bits of the moss were made into balls and little balls of sugar were stuck onto the moss-balls. The nearly-finished Ekac cake was then put into a sugar dish, the dish was stuck on with honey, the whole thing was sprinkled with salt and pepper, then it was grilled and ready to eat.

After the party, everyone went to bed happy and full of Ekac cakes, including me! I dived into the river, swam through the fading purple hole in the rock face, and landed on the kitchen floor. Home. The King had told me that if I wanted to return to Dnalsi all I had to do was put my hands on the oven door and say:
“Red, blue, silver. Red, blue, silver,
Dnalsi, Dnalsi, let me see your chief,
I'm the one who killed Ecreif!”

And everyone in Dnalsi, and me, lived happily ever after.

---
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Anything Stories · Next Topic »
Add Reply