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| Nightmare...; Ready to be scared? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 30 2006, 02:15 AM (783 Views) | |
| Anghenfil | Jun 25 2006, 04:09 PM Post #26 |
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PELICAAAAAN
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Fair enough.
I do tend to be a little on the wordy side. I like the description there because the pause in the dialogue gives the natural implication that the character is thinking without you having to say "he thought" or crap like that. If you're a really fast reader, then a sentence to slow you down can be a good thing. But like you said, there's a lot of ways to write.
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| Fibibble | Jul 5 2006, 12:44 AM Post #27 |
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Brackenwood Member
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I bet there was this liek stalker dude cat thing that comes in ur bedroom at n...OH MY GOD ITS MICHAEL JACKSON!! the face! the hands! I see now!! |
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| Potten | Aug 9 2006, 11:14 AM Post #28 |
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Brackenwood Member
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Huh...yeah... |
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| Peter | Aug 10 2006, 10:16 PM Post #29 |
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Brackenwood Member
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I'm sorry Emerald, but I kinda have to agree on Anghenfil here. I write short stories myself (Ill post one some time ) and I read a lot of short stories, but I can't really say the stuff you posted was written with so much talent. If you would have told me it was for a book before I read it, I would have frowned during the reading; This is not written well. Also, it's not very convincing as a true story. I mean, who can remember his or her nightmare so detailled? And, I think a nightmare is something you fear expressed in a dream. If you fear this demon, you would want to run, instead of fight it. In a nightmare, you're always the weakling, not some dominant fighter with a sword. I can't really say I believe you have a claw on your shoulder, too... <_< Maybe if I saw a picture I'd be a little more convinced, but as you tell the story as some detailled continueing nightmare, and than trying to convice us you actually have the claws on your shoulder, I can't quite say I'm convinced. PS: Appoligies is this post is found offending in any sort of way. It's just my oppinion. |
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| dutchess | Aug 11 2006, 12:36 AM Post #30 |
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Brackenwood Lightweight
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wackingtude dude not too bad, try make it more realistic, and more descriptionx |
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I do tend to be a little on the wordy side. I like the description there because the pause in the dialogue gives the natural implication that the character is thinking without you having to say "he thought" or crap like that. If you're a really fast reader, then a sentence to slow you down can be a good thing. But like you said, there's a lot of ways to write.




4:51 AM Jul 12