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| The Guy; A true story... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 19 2006, 02:30 AM (236 Views) | |
| onion | Jul 19 2006, 02:30 AM Post #1 |
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Brackenwood Newbie
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I've been working on a story for a couple of days, it's not that good, but then again, it's my first one (and it is a true story). It's not really scary either, but it was very scary when it happened. Wednesdays were always hectic for my family. Maybe it was the fact that every Wednesday, my uber-annoying friend, Jeffrey, would come over to my house, and every single time, would either create some sort of turmoil between him and my grandmother, or find a way for some random person on the street to lose an appendage. We were both very gifted in that way. We always joke about it now, because this experience was, among other things, the most frightening experience we both had ever had! It was a very dreary Wednesday, some time in June, I think. Both me and Jeffrey had younger sisters, and, although we continually denied it, we cared for them. It wasn't the fact that they were outside by themselves that bothered us, nor was it that they weren't paying any attention to their surroundings. I think anyone would have been worried for them if they had seen the man up the street watching them the way he was, and with his large, navy blue bag, he began pacing in front of our house, multiple times, before walking back to his house, down the road, and sitting on his porch, still watching our sisters. Feeling brave, Jeffrey and I grabbed a pair binoculars and headed out the door. We snuck across the road and carefully hid in the bushes behind the guy's house. We watched him pace around his mailbox, and then used our binoculars to look at his face. We didn't have a very good view, but from what we could see, he was about 20 years old, with glasses, and acne all over his face. The next thing we saw, we will remember our whole lives; he snapped his head, looking straight at us. I looked at Jeffrey, and I could tell he was thinking exactly what I was thinking. I looked back at 'the guy' as we call him, and I almost jumped out of my skin when he began running towards our house. Jeffrey and I started running also, and we were thinking we could get to my house, but we soon realized he had cut of off! Then, all of the sudden, I had sharp pains in my chest, and I collapsed onto the ground. Obviously, Jeffrey didn't notice, as he kept running, and I watched him dart into the road, with the guy right on his tail. Down in the grass, the guy couldn't see me! I noticed that he had VERY long legs, and he was easily running twice as fast as Jeffrey. So, desperately, I walked right into someone's house, and when they were all looking at me, panting, I said, "There's... some guy... chasing after my... friend..." Now, this family wasn't the smartest family in the neighbor hood, so they walked all slow-like to the front door, and just STARED as the guy chased my friend into their neighbors yard. Jeffrey runs inside the house, and goes straight to the phone, where he dials 911. Now at this point, the guy is walking very quickly back to his house, and Jeffrey then runs over to me and starts yelling "Oh my god did you see that guy he was like 6 feet tall did you see how fast he was running where were you why is that family just standing over there like idiots?!" We run all the way back to our house, and we just stand there and breathe. Ten minutes later, the police come. HA! If he had caught us, we would be gone by now!!! Anyway, they get the guy to come over to them, they talk to him, and then they tell us that it was just a 'misunderstanding'. Yeah right. |
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| melbug62 | Jul 19 2006, 03:44 AM Post #2 |
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Brackenwood Newbie
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Yes, I suppose if that happened to me I would be freaked out too. I would probably die. Fall over, like you did. But I would not be as brave. I wouldn't get up. I'd probably just yell. haha.
Constructive Critisism (is that spelled right?)- 1. Mention your sisters more near the end. 2. If they didn't do anything don't play them out as much. i.e. (We were watching our sisters playing outside, both thinking of a way to scare them silly, when I happened to look across the street. I elbowed Jeffery, indicating that I wanted him to look. There was a man, watching our sisters, from across the street. We decided to find a pair of binoculars so we could see his face. After about 3 minutes our sisters went inside, but he was still there. Suddenly he looked our way...blah blah blah.) that was long. oh well. (I'm not trying to get called out here I was just wondering where they were. I know I'm not the best story teller.)
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| Daninator | Jul 19 2006, 03:44 AM Post #3 |
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Brackenwood Lightweight
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Oooh freaky
, did u find out what he was doing? Did he bother u again?
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| onion | Jul 19 2006, 03:47 AM Post #4 |
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Brackenwood Newbie
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Nah, in fact, he moved to the other side of the country a few weeks later. :rolleyes: |
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| doom | Aug 2 2006, 09:24 AM Post #5 |
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The Local Night Roamer
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im a bit late to be posting but u shoulda offered the guy some acne cream just to piss him off...i wouda |
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| dutchess | Aug 7 2006, 09:16 PM Post #6 |
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Brackenwood Lightweight
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kewl, id be freaked out beyond control lol, ur v brave, strrraaaaaaaange x
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, did u find out what he was doing? Did he bother u again?


4:51 AM Jul 12