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The Dead Zone; It's a Script
Topic Started: Oct 23 2007, 02:43 PM (346 Views)
Monkeyshizznick
Brackenwood Newbie
Ok before i post it, i HAVE to ask you all to use the darkest scariest part of your imagination for this be creative in a disgustingly evil way... i did..

The parts with Note: in front of it, you dont really have to read, im not even sure were i last put them, but i think their.. informative XD

[Two 'scientists' behind a glass wall, fittling with a consel]

Scientist 1: Time?
Scientist 2: 10:46 Eastern US.
Scientist 1: Portal?
Scientist 2: Portal 3, not counting the first failed portal, codenamed Portal 0
Scientist 1: [muttering] portal 3, check, time check, [normal voice] Ok Captain,
your up, are you ready?

Captain Jacob: Yeah sure.
Scientist 1: How many are going in this time?

[Instant 'flash' back, as in a literal flash]
A Corpse in a uniform, ripped in half, and one arm sticking up from his neck
[Done, .8 seconds long, all depends on frame rate]

Captain Jacob: 12.
Scientist 1: Opening Portal 3, at 10:48 Eastern US. Time, 20 seconds. Good luck [pause’s] all of you. Closing blast doors, end communication in 5 seconds.

Soldier 1: heh, how hard can it be?

[Sound of blast doors Closing]

[Up until Face with fear line by the Captain, the Captain in looking forward, nothing moving but his mouth to talk]

Captain Jacob: Have you ever had your eyes melt out of your head?
Soldier 1: What?!
Captain Jacob: In this case, he said good luck to us all, because only ONCE has ONE man come back from a portal, that was me, in portal number 2.
Soldier 2: What happened to the rest?
Captain Jacob: [Silence]

[Portal sounds (not sure what it will sound like yet)]

NOTE: Ok this next part is a not to sure im going to add it in part, all the way to "LETS MOVE OUT!" is the not sure about part, opinions please.

Captain Jacob: Go Face to Face with Fear!

[Portal Sounds almost make it so you cant hear the Captain]

Captain Jacob, Soldier 1, 2, 3: and No matter what happens, do NOT LET IT TAKE YOU OVER!
[
End portal sounds, Now just very loud wooshing]

Captain Jacob: LETS MOVE OUT!

[Captain Jacob walks in, large flash of light]

[Scene of a very large stone tower (a spiral tower, almost like a castle tower) On top of rocks, clouds all around rock pile, Dark Blood Red Sky, 2 Suns, a horrifing scene]

[Now inside the tower]

Captain Jacob: EVERYONE MAKE A CIRCLE! WATCH ALL SIDES! YOU
[Points at a new soldier (4)]
Captain Jacob: back to back with me! were in the center, start spinning!
Captain Jacob: Demolition-Men, hands on those grenades at ALL times!
Captain Jacob: 1 MINUTE! 30 SECONDS UNTIL RETURN PORTAL!
Soldier 4: Sir! Ye...

[Deep growling sound, a growl from the bottom of ones throat][00:10]

Soldier 4: Sir?
Captain Jacob: EYES OPEN!!! EYES OPEN!!!

[Yellow, orange, vomit color goop, driping down from the towers cieling]

Soldier 4: What...the
[during that, slowly looking up]
[the goop hits his eyes]
Soldier 4: AHHHH SON OF A BITCH!

[4 starts running around franticly, drops his gun, breaks out from the circle]
[runs into a wall]
Captain Jacob: GET BACK INTO YOUR POSITION!!! NOW!
Soldier 4: IT BURNS! OH GOD! HELP ME....

[Ghostly disgusting arms grab him through the wall, pull him up the wall to the top]
Soldier 4: [Screaming the whole way up]
[The arms drop him]
[Right before he hits the ground of the tower, another ghostly arm comes through, stabs through his chest and rips out his spine, but not all the way, its not bent out from in him]
[The arm lets go]

Captain Jacob: Holy......[starts looking up to where the goop came from]

Quick Note: Its hard to discribe what hes about to see, so bear with me

[Staring at the ceiling, camera pans up with him, focuses in on something Laughing in a deep, demonic voice]

[It has a body that are like vines stretching across the ceiling, with a long neck weaving in and out and between its vines, a head attached to the neck, (for the head, imagine the most digusting, brutal, demon figure, blood dripping, orange crap dripping, vomit indusing thing)]

Demon on the Roof: [Deep demonic voice] Ha! Ha! Ha! Welcome to the Dead Zone!

[Before the captain can even yell to shoot at it, or point his own gun at the weird thing]

Soldier 1: HOLY FUCK! THEIR COMING IN FROM THE WALLS!!! THEIR COMING FROM THE WALLS!!
Soldier 2: OPEN FIRE!!!

[guns blazing, people screaming, ghosts howling, demons laughing, intensity]

[At first shot, the bullets seem to not even faze them, but they do.]

[Soldier 3 falls backwards, breaking their main defence, scattering everybody]

[Ghost grabs soldier 3 by legs, drags him out some before the ghost is shot]

[Soldier 3 gets back up and trys to regroup, another ghostly hand goes through his head, his brain is ripped out the back of his head]

[Before the camera goes to another Soldier, things start trying to beat their way out from inside of Soldier 3, little mice almost (mutant disgusting vomit inducing mice) (theres a trend here) start running out of his body in the dozens]

Soldier 2: OH FUCK OH FUCK! LOOK OUT!

[Soldier 2 shoots most of the mice, but one goes into his ancel, runs up the inside of his leg, and pops right above the waist line]

[hes not dead though]

[soldier 2 starts shooting again, while screaming, when the sharp vines from the cieling, come down, stab through his stomache from behind, curves back up goes through chest (front), curves up again and goes through head (back of head), then shoots straight up taking Soldier 2 along for the ride, soldier 2 not making a single sound now]



By Teh Way, not finished, i will finish it no matter what, but its most likely just going into my "i dunno" folder on my desktop with all the other scripts that i want made into animations XD

im just NOT a good artist, i know with practice i MIGHT be, be being a senior in high school, i really dont have time to practice, so if any great artists out there wants to help me out with some scripts, lets team up! XD

:gasp:


:wbitey:

thanks fo readin
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Turnip05
Member Avatar
Majestic Turnip
Rather gruesome, but fascinating. Lovely descriptions too :gasp:

It seems a bit confusing at the start though - all we know is that it's set on Earth.

There's no explanation on the Portals or if it's set in the future, so you have to sort of fill in the gaps yourself and try and make sense of it.
I guess if it was animated it would probably be easier to follow, or if a bit of writing came up saying what year it was and where they are (like, portal station or whatever it is).

The 'Go face to face with fear' that Captain Jacob shouts sounds a bit random so you may want to change it or leave it out.

Apart from that, I think it's fine :)

Oh, and I love the part about the man being pulled up the wall by a hand, and how they can rip out parts of the soldiers body and organs :bing:
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Monkeyshizznick
Brackenwood Newbie
glad you liked it for the most part, the part with the face to face line is also kinda corny in my opinion, but almost needed in it, since i wanted this to be more of a scared throughout animation, not a startles here and there

yeah there could be a bit more to the story, but i have to add that the idea for this was made up in about 10-15 minutes, and the script partially wrote in about 10 minutes

soo for the most part its just a "who likes and doesnt like" kinda thing at the moment...
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Turnip05
Member Avatar
Majestic Turnip
Well if you wrote it that quickly I understand the basic plot :P

Unfortunatly there isn't many people who look/post in Anything Stories so you might not get a lot of feedback, so don't think that your work's rubbish, people just don't come here often :)
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