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Topic Started: Jan 22 2008, 11:43 AM (370 Views)
yex
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Everyone's friend ~ No one's expectation.
[This is difficult to explain, but it's s true experience that I had and wrote down today. To avoid confusion, the places mentioned were never physically visited, I was in the living room the whole time.]








She is steeped in guilt and pain as she walks towards the hill.
"Jesus, will You come and hold me? I need you..." she asks uncertainly; eyes shifting from side to side.

She stands at the bottom of a hill as the man in a white robe approaches her.
He gathers her in his arms as she tenses up in fear. She cannot look into his eyes.
"What...what do you -really- think of me?" she asks, barely whispering the words. She's not sure she wants to know the answer. How could he think anything good of her after how much she has messed up?

"You are manipulative and controlling" he says, and her heart sinks. She was afraid of this. Suddenly she is suspicious, however, and she looks straight into his eyes and asks "Are you Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who came, and died and rose for my sins?" The man's face instantly changes and suddenly she is in the arms of a rotting corpse. Worms taunt her from the empty eye sockets as the figure denigrates and she is dropped to the ground.

She lies, curled up and broken. She had been deceived.

"Jesus..." she whispers. "Jesus...will the real Jesus please come and hold me..."

She can still feel the couch under her, her arms crossed and hands clenching tight, leaving red and white imprints in her skin; she still knows, at least vaguely, that she's in a room, and not in a stark white field.

She sobs, eyes squeezed tight, as she tries to shrink further away...

She can feel something different now...light. She feels light. She opens her eyes and is pierced by the bright, pure fire that pulses from the face before her. He stands before her and holds his hand out. "Will you trust Me?" "But...I was deceived before...it's so hard" she cries. He waits a moment and asks again "But will you trust me?" She closes her eyes for a moment and opens them again. "Yes."

"Can you give me your pain?" Memories, pain, anger flash before her eyes and she gasps. She hugs herself tighter and tries to breathe. "Will you give me your pain and forgive?" She hangs her head and gulps in deep breaths of air. "Yes." She looks down and she is holding a bundle of filthy rags. She gives the bundle to him and it disappears into the light. She's breathing a little easier now.

He is suddenly standing in a buggy led by a white horse. "Will you come with me? He asks. He holds his hand out to her and this time she takes it. They sit on the bench and she grabs the reins as he wraps his arms around her. She is suddenly 4 or 5 years old, and she clings to him. "Will you give up your control?" he whispers. She loosens her hold on the reins and slowly hands them over. He takes them from her gently and suddenly they are traveling over the countryside.

They arrive in a vast field of wildflowers and the horse and buggy disappear entirely. She is standing in a summer dress, holding his hand. She can hear beautiful music floating by on the wind. He smiles down at her and she is suddenly overwhelmed with joy and starts to spin. He holds his arm out and twirls her around and around...the light surrounds and envelopes her completely, and she cares for nothing more than to dance in the field of wildflowers with her father. She dances on and on and realizes that she is no longer 4 years old, but 11. Still, she dances...faster and faster...and suddenly she is 16, still spinning and twirling and even laughing, now. Then, before she comprehends what has happened, she is 20 years old, and she's dancing in her sparkling white wedding gown.

He releases her hand and she continues to dance. She dances for him, in the field of wild flowers; she dances for her king. He, in the meantime, has gathered all her tears together and formed a lake out of them. There are trees by the lake and eagles in the air as she comes up beside him. He takes her hand, and there they stand, on the edge of the lake, and they smile. He tells her that He will be giving her away at her wedding, and she cries again, but these are tears of joy and relief.

She thanks him and suddenly she is in a room of doors. There are four brown doors on one wall and one set of beautiful glass french doors on the other. He tells her that she is not allowed to enter the brown doors of her bad memories alone anymore. He nods towards the glass doors as they open before her, and he smiles as he tells her to walk out into her future. She looks out into the field of wildflowers, and then runs out the doors, shouting "I'm FREE!! as she once again becomes aware of the couch and the carpet under her feet. She opens her eyes and looks around the room as she whispers to herself "I'm free..."

She smiles, gets up, and dries her eyes. No more fear. Not now. She glances towards the ceiling and says "Thank you."

Then she walks into her future.
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