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Chat - Wednesday, September 2, 2009; happy Hump Day
Topic Started: Sep 2 2009, 04:18 AM (1,220 Views)
lmorton2001
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:Hugs: Sending prayers and hugs to you, too, Deb. It sounds like you have had a rough few days. It is so hard and heartbreaking to have to do those kinds of things to help your parents out as they age. My mom is 78, and so far so good, but you just never know when things are going to take a quick change for the worse. Hang in there.
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wrightflyer
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Oh Deb, that is so hard to make such decisions. My little 95 year old friend went with her daughter to look at different facilities. Because she could get around on her own, she chose "independent living". The facility has three wings - independent, assisted and those with alsheimers.

She could do independent. They still keep an eye on them. Sophie has to call in each morning by 9:00 or they call her. If she doesn't answer, then they knock on the door, and if no answer, they come in to check.

There are two places to eat - the regular dining room, another more short order place, or you can request meals come to your room. She also has a full kitchen, living room and bath.

When she had the surgery, they placed her in assisted living. Her goal is to get back to her old room which they were still holding for her. :)^

Some are really nice.

Sophie's initial reaction when she first saw the place was, "there are a lot of old people here". rofl rofl rofl

She has made lots of friends, plays cards, goes on trips to the local indian casinos, etc. And her daughter is close by and comes to see her often.

I pray that it all falls into place for your Mom and your family. (Maybe you could tell her you were checking it out for a friend and would she like to go and give you her opinion...) :<::

You are definately missed here lately! :Hugs:
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harpo516
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I think there things were going on when my dad was still with us but he covered it well and after he passed - what a shock to us kids! It's very hard for my sister who is only 35 but she's been great thru it all and is really trying to work thru it. It's always hard in the role reversal but particularly because of her age - you just don't expect to have to do these things. And are we making the right choices at the right time ??? :unsure: And my being so far away ...... so we do our best.

my mom had a shunt put in just after my dad passed because she was stuttering and stumbling and it was discovered that she had fluid on her brain. That procedure went great but in all of that came the diagnosis for the alzheimers..... what a shock to us all and to her.

thanks.....
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harpo516
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Marti - that's exactly what we are looking for - an apartment set up like she has now but an opportunity for mixing and mingling - activities (she does nothing now except sit in a darkened room :( ) - and the eating situation. One place my sis visited on Mon was super and the apartment hardly different than where she is now so.... :X: :X:

also she may qualify for a veterans benefit that will help defray the cost of assisted living so..... :X: :X: :X: :X: hope to get all the details and confirm her qualifications before I get to OH in a couple weeks.

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chiquita
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Not a big deal and there are many more world and local issues to comment about but just had to mention our Chat day's date..."Wed, Sept. 3, 09.

I am thinking of you, Deb. My DIL is dealing with these same issues as her mother has the beginnings of Alzheimers...she has been trying to cover it up for some time but DIL saw the subtle changes. It's heart breaking. At least DIL and DS began to put things in place seveal months ago in preparation to move her. She has agreed to move so we'll have to see how it all goes. I hope all goes well for you.

Chiquita

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harpo516
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we've been working on this for a couple years but she's not going happily at all..... but we'll see it thru - do what's best for her! (even though she thinks it isn't :D )

Sept 3 - I didn't even notice rofl well we do have a couple moderators who will be happy to fix that :)^


guess we're all a bit focused on the coming holiday weekend...... :<::
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catM
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Deb, I am so sorry to hear about your Mother. I went through a lot of that with my mother 20 years ago. I know what you are going through and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope you are feeling better, too.
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KareninSoCali
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Deb...sorry to hear about your mom. I will be praying for you all and especially for her to accept the idea without too much denial that is for her best. I know how it is when our folks don't want to cooperate. Its like dealing with a small child sometimes. Big mantles to you and your family!
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jeannec
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Deb :Hugs: Not an easy choice. If the place is decent, perhaps she might like it. Any chance she may know anyone who's already in such a place? Go and visit and get the inside scoop??
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harpo516
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that's what my sister is trying to do before I get there at end of month - thanks Jeanne - we'll follow up... :ok:
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LeicaEagle
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Deb, I wish you the best with your mom. I know its not easy as my evil sister and I are dealing with our mom who is the stereotypical "Stubborn Swede" who thinks they are able to do things on their own. (even if it takes them 10 years like mom took before she finally replaced her refridgerator and tossed out the small cube one i had from my college daze)

Lucky for us, we "convinced" mom to go stay at our aunt's home who also has serious health issues and ,being the "Stubborn swede" refuses to be compliant with the treatments for her CHF ,Breathing problems and chronic cellulitis. The only good thing is mom is still "with it" enough to nag as shes the "older sister" and this way my sister can keep an eye on both easier than we could do with them in two different locations. Its easier for her to trek out there from 11th st in the village to bergen county than for her to go up there and then down here to mind the store.

I have to give her credit, i know i could not manage two elderly with serious medical issues in as much as i have enough of my own to tend to.

I have been told that those who have the Alzheimers wont admit to being forgetfull and will deny it to the end. Whereas those with other forms of ,for lack of a better term, senility, will admit to forgetting things. I am not sure if this is or is not a sign but seems plausible to me.

It is not easy watching an elderly parent go through this and wish you and your sister the best in dealing with this family crisis. Hopefully when its our turn, they may have found out the cause and have a viable remedy for it :X:
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adklaurie
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Sandie I too am appalled that no rescue/ambulance service was called. That is just standard procedure after a car accident and that CHP officer should have known that. :( Sending out lots of healing thoughts and prayers that DH's son heals quickly.

Deb. :Hugs: You have been missed. Sending you lots of love and hugs and just good and positive thoughts.
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LeicaEagle
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::in a Herman Munster voice as i stomp my foot:: Darn darn darn darn DARN!!!

you mean i said "wednesday Sept 3"? and not Sept 2??? (must be the effects of the narcotic analgesic i am taking for my dental extractions)

Opps! Well if you want someone to screw things up , you all know who to call since i can do it so well! rofl

did i ever tell you about that late night road trip where i had the map upside down and we were going everwhere but in the right direction??? rofl :hide:
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harpo516
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oh I see we're fixed! :><:

thanks everyone for your thoughts and ideas and caring......

time to go home (and no - can't have any IP - that stupid medicine .... grrr :wacko: ) later
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petra
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lot's of thoughts going to deb's mom and sherry




:X: :X: :X: :X: :X:
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