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| Let Love Lead You Home; Callie hurts Addie, can they get home? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 14 2007, 01:00 PM (1,308 Views) | |
| xXamoursanglant | Oct 14 2007, 01:00 PM Post #1 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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Okay so I was rather busy between the time I had my old computer and got my laptop... This one I finished and may write a sequel to but I don't know yet... So far it's just a one shot... Title: Let Love Lead You Home Author: Me Disclaimer: Not mine Archiving: With permission Rating: NC-17 (violence, alcohol, depression, sex) Summary" Callie has hurt Addison to the point she just can't do it anymore, so she leaves, this is goodbye... Chapter One: Goodbye To You Callie. Sweet, sweet Calliope Torres had broken her heart worse than the best of them, because she actually loved Addison. Foolishly Addison had loved her in return. She hated herself for it, she didn’t want to let anyone in ever again and this was the reason why. The heartache was too much to bare. Her and Callie had formed a fast friendship after the Carr case and were like best friends as close as anyone could get. Then Callie wanted more, and Addison didn’t want to give it, but Callie’s had wormed her way into the Attending’s heart and made a little spot for herself and Addison couldn’t deny her. She tried to not let her in, she really tried, but one look from Callie and her walls melted away. She let her in and things started out great. Then George shows up in the equation and suddenly Callie doesn’t want her anymore. But when Callie and George were having problems she came to Addison needing a friend, Addison couldn’t give her that anymore, she couldn’t be that. She couldn’t be reduced to that after having so much. As much as it hurt her, she was there for Callie. Then Callie was having doubts of his faithfulness and Addison had informed her that if she was obsessing over something like that there was usually a reason. Callie didn’t like it but she knew Addison was right, she pretty much beat it out of George. He had cheated on her with Izzie. So she went to Addison. She knocked on her door a week ago and asked her if she could come in. What was she supposed to do, there was a crying woman in her hallway standing outside her door, was she supposed to shut the door and turn her away? She couldn’t do that. She loved Callie too much to just turn her away like that. She let her in again, she let her get too close. She took back Addison’s heart that night. They were in her bed talking when Addison felt those soft hands on her thigh, stomach, arm, face, and back. Callie’s touches were so soft and pleasant, so warm and gentle. They touched. They kissed. They loved again. The next morning her bed was empty. Callie used her. She had left a note simply saying that she had went home and talked with George. “I guess we’re even now.” She held it in her hands not able to form any kind of words. Angrily she crumpled the small piece of paper and threw it collapsing back onto the bed with her head in her hands crying. She went to work that morning a mess. Emotionally and physically. She didn’t want to deal with anyone especially Callie, but she had to. She didn’t want to be there, she didn’t want to be anywhere. She felt so used and betrayed that she felt disgusted with herself. How could she let Callie do that to her? Now they were in the scrub room Addison was rambling about not being able to have a child and Callie piped up saying her and George were trying and it broke her heart even more. She tried to hold it together, but as soon as she left the room she ran towards the on-call room sitting on the bed and she let her tears overwhelm her again. She distanced herself from everyone. She stopped caring about whether or not she hurt anyone’s feelings at work. She stopped caring about what people said about her. She wasted countless tears on something she knew was there and Callie denied. She would sit in a deserted supply closet and cry as she squatted down with head on her knees hugging her shoulders. If someone knocked on the door she’d yell for them to go away. She’d wiped her tears furiously and stood opening the door and she came face to face with Callie Torres twice. She couldn’t do it. The look, the light touch to her arm, she yanked her arm back and she turned and stormed off in the other direction shouting back to the resident to leave her be. She didn’t want her to though, as much as hurt sometimes she needed Callie to be around. She wanted Callie to chase after her grab her arms and shove her inside an empty room and kiss her feverishly. To tell her she was acting crazy and that George didn’t matter, but it was Addison that didn’t matter to her, not George. Days went by, nights went by, and now she sat here, alone, in her unwelcoming, unpleasant, uncomfortable hotel room, a bottle of tequila in one hand. Jack Daniel’s, Disarono, Jim Beam, Captain Morgan were among the name brand whiskey and rum that sat at her feet beside a cheap bottle of vodka. She swirled the ice cubes in the smallish glass that was in her left hand while the bottle was nestled in the other. When she finished a shot she poured another. Her hand shook and the small glass trembled in her capable surgeon hands. She dropped the glass to the floor watching the liquid and ice spill out of it. Her voice cracked and she felt the sob catch in her throat as the tears trickled from the corners of her eyes. She put her head in her hands feeling her body shaking as she cried harder and harder into her hands. Mascara running down her face smeared from her tears. She wiped her face with her fists and pounded them on the floor willing herself to not cry, losing the battle within herself. She sobbed loudly lifting her head putting it against the wall she hit the floor with her fists again. She looked around and picked up the glass and threw it at the wall shattering it into a million pieces, like her heart was. She felt a twinge in her chest when she thought about Callie. She felt it like a knife sliding through her and stabbing at her heart. Like it cut through her and ripped her heart out while it was still beating. It hurt, it just hurt so much. She couldn’t breathe, her breaths came in short gasps and sobs. Heaving mercilessly as her throat felt something catch and she got up holding her mouth shut running for the bathroom. She heaved and threw up the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl she was hovering over. Her stomach clenched her throat hurt and she couldn’t stop the dry heaving. Uncontrollable sobs and cries escaped form her mouth as she held onto the sink sitting down in the corner of the bathroom. She slumped against the wall leaning down laying herself on the ground with a thud, feeling the cold tiles on her skin. She couldn’t take it, she couldn’t do this everyday. She couldn’t get up, she couldn’t move at all, she just lay there. She heard a loud knock on her door but didn’t move. Instead she covered her face with her hands and cried some more. She heard the door squeak open and she didn’t care, she reached up and slammed the bathroom door shut. The crack rang throughout the hotel room as Callie softly shut the front door. She sighed and took her coat off laying it over the couch. Bottles of alcohol covered the floor one or two empty sitting on the counter, glasses set out beside them. She shook her head feeling tears brim her eyes. She saw the broken glass in the corner of the kitchen and she felt a sob escape her mouth. What was Addy doing to herself? She walked to the bathroom door and knocked. Addison already knew who it was and screamed at the top of her lungs. “GO AWAY!” Her voice was raspy, it cracked, and Callie knew she was crying. She knocked again and only heard a loud sob that made her shudder. She opened the door slowly and saw Addison laying on the floor covering her face with her hands. She stopped mid stride looking down at the woman who lay broken before her, she witnessed first hand the pain she was causing Addison and she felt torn up inside. She felt a gasp from within her own soul and she knelt slowly reaching out to Addison. “DON’T!” Addison tried to move away. “Don’t touch me!” She hid her face in her hands sobbing harshly. Her voice nearly gone. Her body wracked with sobs and Callie picked up her head getting the first look at her face since she walked in. It was twisted with pain and sorrow. It hurt her inside that she was hurting Addison this way and she asked herself why she was doing it. She tried to pull Addison into her arms and she pushed her away. “No…” She said whispering. “Don’t… please, just don’t.” And she started to cry harder. “Just leave…” Callie reached out her hand and Addison pushed it away. “I said go!” She forced out. “GO!” She cried shouting at Callie swatting her hands away. “LEAVE!” “You don’t want me to leave.” Callie said softly still trying to take her in her arms. Addison just wouldn’t let her. She refused to let her. “I NEED you to leave.” Addison whimpered. “I CAN’T do this.” She hid her face in her hands again sobbing, she didn’t know how much more she could cry. She continued to cry and Callie watched her slipping slowly into a shallow sleep on the floor. Her breathing was deep and she would still sob every once and a while and a single tear would fall down her tear stained face. Callie stood, her hands shaking, she had caused this. She had hurt Addison so badly that she was broken. And now she needed to find the pieces before she could pick them up to even try to piece her back together. She had come here to tell her that it was over with George, but it seemed more over with Addison than him and she let her own sobs shake through her. Addison woke up willing herself to move off the floor. She ached inside and out. Her body hurt, her voice was barely audible on the loudest setting. She put her hand on the bathtub pulling herself up letting more tears slip from her eyes as she tried to walk to the kitchen. She turned seeing Callie sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. She looked up and their eyes met. Callie couldn’t stand to see Addison in so much pain. She looked away and moved to get the dustpan and small brush sweeping up the shattered glass. “Why are you still here?” She forced out choking on air. Callie stood walking to the bar. “I needed to tell you something.” She whispered softly. “So spit it out so you can leave me alone then.” Addison was bitter. She was hateful and Callie couldn’t blame her in the least. “I’m leaving George.” Callie was quiet waiting for Addison’s response and it wasn’t the one she expected or wanted to hear. “And this means what to me?” Addison said flipping the dust pan over into the trash can. “I… I need you Addison.” Addison looked up at her in disbelief. “Why the hell do you need me now?” “Because I love you.” “No.” Addison shook her head. “No you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have done this to me.” Addison said softly. “I’m sorry!” Callie looked down at her hands. “I am so sorry Addy. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was confused.” “Yeah well you’re confusion cost me months of heartache. You didn’t just hurt me Callie…” She paused sighing before tears escaped her eyes unwillingly. “You broke me.” Her voice cracked and she sat on the floor with her head in her hands again. “You broke me.” She repeated sobbing softly. Callie reached out for her, this time Addison let her and she took her in her arms. “I’m so sorry Addy.” She cried into her hug. “I’m so sorry…” Her voice faded and she shut her eyes longing to hear from Addison that it was okay, they’d be okay, but she knew better, they were far from okay. “I know, you’re sorry.” Addison nodded wiping her eyes. “I told you Naomi offered me a job in LA. Well I took it, I leave in the morning.” She said softly looking down at her hands. Callie pulled away looking at her. “Addison…” She shook her head. “Don’t Callie, I know you care, but I can’t do this right now. I need some time, some space. I need to be away from you.” She couldn’t face her right now, she just needed to not have to do this, she needed to not have to battle herself. She needed it to feel right, and it felt forced. She couldn’t do this. “Addison please…” “No Callie… I’m leaving… tomorrow… I need to pack…” She was distant and cold then she stood taking in a shaky breath. Callie nodded. “Okay… Maybe it’s for the best.” She pulled herself up from Addison’s floor. “Will you come back?” “I don’t know.” Addison said truthfully, Callie turned and walked towards the door opening it grabbing her jacket. “You can stay the night Callie, I’ll give you that.” Addison said softly. Callie shut the door and laid her jacket back down on the couch walking towards Addison. There was no smile on either of their faces. Addison lead her to her bedroom like many nights before and they undressed each other slowly savoring their last time together. Callie slowly backed Addison towards the bed while kissing her softly tears streaming from both their eyes. She laid her down gently moving her body on top of her. Surrounding her senses and Addison looked away. Callie kissed her neck softly and she whimpered holding onto her arms while tears still rimmed her eyes. Callie both felt and heard the sob from under her and took Addison’s lips with her own tenderly. Soft fleeting touches were met with soft cries of passion and sadness. Callie caressed her smooth skin slowly making light circles with her fingertips drawing nearer to her core. Addison’s hips bucked into the air and she smoothed her own hands up and down Callie’s back. She let her fingers graze over her skin softly moving them to where she knew Addison wanted them. Callie’s hot tears fell onto Addison’s skin as she thrust gently and steadily into her. She kissed her neck softly and Addison bit her lip to keep herself from sobbing too loudly. Addison wrapped her arms around Callie’s back and neck pulling her closer whimpering and crying into her neck. Her tears burned Callie’s skin, her lips trembled against her neck as she placed soft kisses against her skin. Callie let her own sobs escape her mouth as she felt Addison’s walls tighten around her fingers and her body pressed up against Callie’s forcefully as Addison’s body shook and her sobs returned in full force. She hid her face from Callie and cried out into the pillow covering her head with her arm. Callie looked down at her, her own eyes red and puffy from crying. She gently caressed her shoulder willing Addison to look at her. “I’m sorry.” She said softly kissing her shoulder gently. Addison nodded not saying anything because now her voice was completely useless. She turned slowly looking at Callie her gaze soft. She reached out to touch her face and Callie leaned into to her hand closing her eyes. Addison kissed her lips softly her own lips quivering while she was crying and her hands trembled moving down Callie’s body. She trailed kisses over her neck and shoulder as her fingers worked deftly bringing Callie to a height of passion screaming. “Oh Addison…” She cried softly tears running down the sides of her face as she covered her eyes with the back of her hands. Addison lay her head on top of Callie’s shoulder caressing her stomach with her fingertips, tears drying on her face as they fell asleep. Addison sat waiting on the terminal with Callie beside her. She had agreed to let her come to say their goodbyes face to face. As her plane was being called, she felt her wrist being grabbed she turned around to see Callie with tears in her eyes. She looked down at what Callie was holding in her hand and it was a small silver heart shaped pendent necklace. She stood and Addison turned around so Callie could place it around her neck. “You have my heart Addy. You always did.” She smiled weakly. “You better go.” Addison nodded playing with the small pendent between her thumb and forefinger gazing into Callie’s warm brown eyes full of sadness. She leaned forward and kissed her cheek lightly. “Goodbye Callie.” She said tears forming in her eyes and Callie watched as she walked on to the plane leaving her alone in the terminal. “Goodbye To You” Michelle Branch Of all the things I've believed in I just want to get it over with Tears form behind my eyes But I do not cry Counting the days that pass me by I've been searching deep down in my soul Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old It feels like I'm starting all over again The last three years were just pretend And I said, [Chorus:] Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to The one thing that I tried to hold on to I still get lost in your eyes And it seems that I can't live a day without you Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away To a place where I am blinded by the light But it's not right [Chorus] And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time I want what's yours and I want what's mine I want you But I'm not giving in this time [Chorus x2] And when the stars fall I will lie awake You're my shooting star ____________________________________________________________________________________________ I know it's sad, and I wrote it because everone seems to always write the sappy gushy happy endings and in life that doesn't always happen, in fact it tends not to... so this was just one of the many one shots I wrote over the summer... it could possibly have more chapters but I'm not promising anything... |
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| Cadison328 | Oct 14 2007, 08:16 PM Post #2 |
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Resident
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So sad, it reminds me of the OC with the necklace, tiffany's has a one similar i almost bought the other day |
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| xXamoursanglant | Oct 14 2007, 09:34 PM Post #3 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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lol what can i say im into this sad stuff lately |
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| Cadison328 | Oct 15 2007, 12:36 AM Post #4 |
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Resident
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but it's caddie happiness should ensue |
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| xXamoursanglant | Oct 15 2007, 09:42 PM Post #5 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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in most cases yes lol |
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| xXamoursanglant | Oct 21 2007, 05:36 PM Post #6 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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Chapter Two: Here With Me Callie would go to work, come home, cry, and fall asleep, then do it all over again the next day. It was like she was a robot. She wished that instead of being the idiot she was and tossing Addison aside that she would have told her how she really felt. And she knows its no one's fault but her own that she's gone. She sits in the chair closest to the window and stares unblinking into the darkness that covers the city. She holds her knees close to her body and tears fall from her chocolate brown eyes full of regret and sorrow. It's like she'd dying because she knows Addison hates her for doing what she did and what's worse is she understands and thinks that Addison has every right to hate her. And she really does, but now Callie knows for sure that Addison is the one she needs here with her. And so she cries because she knows Addison needs her space and she needs time to heal. She wipes her eyes and continues to stare into the night then feels a shiver and moves to her bed. When she lies down the tears fall from her eyes spilling over on to her pillows. She can't help it really, she knows she shouldn't be thinking about their last time together but she is. She cries because it was like they were saying goodbye for good and Callie knows she can't handle that. Callie cries herself to sleep like many other nights and she catches herself every so often sobbing in her sleep or calling out for Addison. If only she hadn't been so blind, she wouldn't have lost her. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Callie worked through her first surgery with little complications and was now sitting in her office. Already this morning she has had to deal with Lexi Grey and Meredith Grey on their family issues, Bailey and her trying to be number one, Karev and his attitude towards everyone; staff and patients included, George being a baby, Izzie being over confident and cocky, and had a mountain of paper work waiting to be filled out and filed. These were the days she just wanted to sit and cry because it was too much. These were the days she needed Addison most the days she couldn't handle being chief resident. Because no matter how she felt or how bad her day was Addison could make her feel better. Addison made it all okay. Some how she lost sight of that after a while and things got out of hand. She should have ended it with George sooner and she shouldn't have hurt Addison time and time again. It bothered her, it nagged at her, it chewed her raw, and she hated it. Regret was not something Callie ever wanted to live with, but she made her bed, now she had to sleep in it. She ran a hand through her raven locks and sighed feeling a tear roll down her cheek. She heard a knock on her door and quickly wiped her face. "Come in..." The door opened slowly and Mark silently shut the it. He looked at her and watched her expression change from concerned to sad and defeated. He smiled softly and sat across from her. "How are you holding up?" She didn't look up at him. "I'm tired and drained. I feel like an ass and I deserve it. I deserve to be hurting for the pain I caused her. For breaking her heart the way I did. For driving her away and tossing her aside to play house with a cheating husband." Tears fell from her eyes and Mark took her hand. "No, you don't deserve this. No one deserves to feel their heart ripped out. No one deserves to feel desserted. No one deserves to sit and wonder if the person they love will come back to them." She looked up at him and he wiped a tear from her face. "Not even you. What you did was selfish but you're only human. You were confused and it's understandable. No one is perfect, least of all Addison. She understands, she does, she just needs some time." He patted her hand gently. "Don't let it knock you down... don't give up." He smiled one last time and stood walking towards the door. "She'll forgive you." And with that he left. He was right. She had to have hope, she couldn't give up. Not yet. She had to keep going, she had to believe that Addison would find her way back to her and forgive her for what she had done. She couldn't not believe that, life without Addison was something she refused to consider. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Callie sat, staring, like before, into the dark night before her. Her eyes slightly glossed over from drinking a little too much red wine. Her cheeks slightly puffy and her face red from crying. Her arms and legs tired and her body exaughsted from a full day's work. She held the wine glass in her left hand barely having three fingers on it and felt it start to slip but hadn't fully understood she was about to drop it. So when it hit the floor it startled her and she stared down at it. The pieces scattered on the floor, broken and shattered like her heart. And now she fully understood just how badly she had hurt Addison. The attention followed by the sex, that was followed by leaving in the middle of the night, and following that trying to forget it ever happened. Pushing away her feelings and inturn driving Addison futher away. She believed now more than ever that things would never get better. Addison was never coming back, and it hurt for her to even think it. She bent over to pick up the pieces of glass and cut her hand on the last piece. She looked down watching the blood flow over palm and thought of how strange it was that she could barely feel the pain. Was it because she was numb, or was it due to the alcohol? She wasn't quite sure, but it looked deep. She sighed shakily and applied a towel to it after throwing away the glass. A half hour later she decided to call a cab and go to the ER because she couldn't stop the bleeding. It was kind of like when she couldn't stop Addison from leaving. Like when she couldn't stop crying. She didn't have any control over it. And that was not something she was used to. Everyone seemed to start to notice her change in behavior and demenor. She wasn't the confident orthopedic surgeon, chief resident, and sure woman. She was only a shadow of herself if even that. The drinking had made her tired and she got less and less sleep that reduced her once vibrant beautiful brown eyes to odd shapes with dark circles under them. After returning home she could feel the cold of her apartment. She couldn't hear anything but the pounding in her ears of her heartbeat. The adrenilin still running throughout her body. She removed her coat and jeans plopping down on her bed. She looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes tightly to try and stop the tears from falling. She couldn't seem to get Addison's twist pain stricken face erased from her mind. And so the tears fall anyway even as she covers her face and tries to wipe them away, because Addison isn't there, because she hurt Addison, because she loves Addison, because it was all her fault. "Here With Me" Michelle Branch It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror I guess that I was blind Now my reflection's getting clearer Now that you're gone things will never be the same again There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day You're such a part of me But I just pulled away Well, I'm not the same girl you used to know I wish I said the words I never showed I know you had to go away I died just a little, and I feel it now You're the one I need I believe that I would cry just a little Just to have you back now Here with me Here with me You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true But I was scared and left it all behind I know you had to go away I died just a little, and I feel it now You're the one I need I believe that I would cry just a little Just to have you back now Here with me Here with me And I'm asking And I'm wanting you to come back to me Please? I never will forget that look upon your face How you turned away and left without a trace But I understand that you did what you had to do And I thank you I know you had to go away I died just a little, and I feel it now You're the one I need I believe that I would cry just a little Just to have you back now Here with me Here with me |
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| Iphegenia | Oct 23 2007, 05:19 PM Post #7 |
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Medical Student
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That was so good! More please.
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| xXamoursanglant | Oct 23 2007, 05:29 PM Post #8 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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I'm woking on it I promise lol... right now I am in the process of coloring my hair... it's kinda freaky lookin tho... it's kinda purplish blue right now lol.... but at least it will be dark lol.... I have a physics lab to at least start cuz its due thrusday then I'll get to some writing we'll see what happens |
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| xXamoursanglant | Nov 1 2007, 04:10 PM Post #9 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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ugh i am try really i promise but im kinda stuck right now on this one.. im not sure where to take it yet |
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| xXamoursanglant | Nov 1 2007, 10:21 PM Post #10 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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Chapter Three: Drunken Tears and Screaming Matches "Drunken Tears" By Quasi Warms you up inside Soothes your wounded pride But your gold turns to lead As it goes to your head And you cry Drunken tears once again, my friend So what if you're not the genius You always thought you were? Nobody hears the brilliant words Between your ears And you cry Drunken tears once again, my friend Here's some ancient truth Dredged up from your youth A voice from way back when Long lost love that might have been And you cry Drunken tears once again, my friend Go ahead, I don't mind your drunken tears ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Addison sat on the floor not paing attention to anything around her. She was barely awake and slightly drunk. She thought getting away would help, she thought it would mend her broken pieces that were left. But the cold hard truth was, it didn't, in fact it had made things worse. A new job and old friends, nothing helped. Nothing kept her mind off the beautiful raven who was still in Seattle. So now here she was once again drowning her sorrows exactly the same way the night Callie had found her, except this time, Callie wasn't here. The bottle of Jack was gripped tightly in her left hand while the shot glass was in her right hand close to her lips. She looked at the glass and swirled the amber liquid in it before putting it to her lips and letting the warm burning slide down her throat. She let her head fall back against the wall in the far corner of her living room and looked around. Boxes still lined her floor after three weeks and when Addison looks back from the floor to the window, she sees that it's raining. The water slides down the glass slowly droplets clustering and pooling before streaming down yet again. She looks away feeling a sadness overwhelm her and pours another drink and puts it to her lips letting it slide down her throat. It's a funny thing derpression is, slaps you in the face, and lingers to sting every once of flesh it touches. She stands staggering to the couch and plopped down clanking the glass bottle off the stand. "Shit." She muttered and reajusted herself. "Three fucking weeks and not one phone call." She hicupped and waved the bottle around. "For someone." Hicupp. "Who loves me." Hicupp. "She doesn't show." Hicupp. "It too well." Hicupp. Addison put the glass down and raised the bottle to her lips and titled it letting the rest of the contents burn going down. She felt the warming sensation in the pit of her stomach and burped loudly after pulling the bottle from her lips. She heard a knock at the door and looked up. "Who the hell could that be?" She struggled to get up and then staggered to the front door where she looked through the peep hole to see Naomi. She opened the door and stepped aside. "Na... So nice.." Hicupp. "To see you." "Drowning your sorrows again I see." Naomi shut the door and caught Addison whens he lost her balance. "You really need to stop this. You're going to drink yourself into oblivion." "Who cares?" She said casually. "I do and Sam and Pete and Violet and Coop... and you know she cares." Addison hoisted herself up holding on to the railing of the stairs. "No... She doesn't." She started to get mad. "It's been trhee weeks Na! Three, and I haven't got one damn phone call!" "You asked her for time Addison... you asked her for space... and now you expect her to call?" "Yes." "Why?" Naomi watched Addison slide down the wall and put her head in her hands. It just felt so heavy she couldn't hold it up. slowly tears crept into her eyes and slid down her face. Naomi bent down next to her and placed and hand on her shoulder squeezing gently gaining her attention. Addison looked up tears streaming down her face and her lips quivering. "Because I need her." She said and burried her face back into her arms as she sat and sobbed. Naomi watched as Addison's resolve crumbled in front of her and felt her heart ache for her. She couldn't imagine what it was like to be used by someone you love then be thrown to the side like you didn't matter when she chose her husband instead of you only for that same bitch to come crawling back asking for forgivenss. She knew Addison wanted to forgive Callie and in a way she had that last night they spent together, but she was still hurting. She was still broken and the pieces were still scattered among the bottles of liquir and vodka. Naomi helped her up walking her to the couch, she sat her down and she started to pick up the random bottles of alcohol throwing them away or dumping the rest down the sink. It had become a weekly ritual for her to stop by and clean up the mess that had become Addison's life. In half an hour the house looked normal again and Naomi walkd into the living room. Addison was fast alseep on the couch with her legs curled up to her chest laying on her side. Naomi shook her head, she hated to see her friend this way, at the same time she understood it, but it hurt nonetheless. She just wished there was something she could do. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Everyday it was the same thing ove and over. Addison went to work with a hangover, got through her day miserably, then went home to drink, only to repeat the same thing the next day. It had now been a full month since her arrival and everyone was convinced she was a full blown alcoholic. Even Naomi was passed worried now. Finally Naomi and Violet pulled her aside. "What is going on?" "I really don't want to talk about it." She began to walk away. "That's too bad!" Naomi said pulling her back. "You're throwing your career away!" Addison stared at her. "I don't drink at work..." "And how long do you think it will take to get to that point Addison? Another couple weeks?" Addison didn't speak. "Get help." Violet said quietly. "The only help I need is for you to mind your own business." Addison said and walked away. "Now what genius?" Naomi looked to Violet. "Callie?" Naomi cocked her head. "That is fueling the fire Violet and you know it." "You got a better idea?" "Not really. So then call Callie." And that's what hte two of them went off to do. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "No way are you crazy?!" Callie said into the phone. "Well Violet is however I am not. I know she specifically asked for you to stay away. Violet seems to think you are the best answer and well I do somewhat agree." "How am I going to help her?" "Well for one, she might stop drinking." "She's drinking again?" "Again?" "Oh fuck, she drank alot before she left too. So bad that the night I came over before she left there were bottles everywhere." Violet nudged Naomi. "Tell her." "Tell me what?" Callie questioned. Naomi sighed. "I have been going over once a week to clean her place up of bottles. There's probably a good hundred." Callie breathed in deeply. "I'll be on the next flight out. I don't know how much I'll help though." "Thanks." They said in unison. "Addison is going to be pissed." Violet nodded in agreement. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Callie sighed and looked up at the door infront of her. She hesitated to knock, knowing what she may find, Addison drunk. She wasn't sure it was something she wanted to face, her mouth tended to get the better of her and she didn't think before she spoke, that got her in trouble.She lifted her fist to knock when the door opened. Addison stared at her blankly mouth open. "What..." She closed her mouth and looked away before regaining her composure. "What are you doing here?" "Naomi and Violet were worried about you." She laughed. "Worried, and they send you..." She laughed again. "Wow." She sighed. "You may as well come in." Callie nodded and step through the door and then stopped. She saw the bottles lines up on the counter and scanned the kitchen seeing wine bottles and liquir bottles linning the sink some piled on the floor. Naomi was right there were nearly a hundred bottle of open alcohol on the floor of Addison's home. "By looks of it I'd say they were right." Addison stopped dead and turned around to face her. "Do not judge me! You have no right!" "Look at what you are doing to yourself!" "Yes, I look in the mirror and I see it everyday! I deal with it everyday! I deal with you choosing George everyday! I deal with not being near you everyday! I deal with hating you and loving you everyday! I deal with it! Not you! Not them! Me!" "And look where it's got you!" "What the fuck do you care?! You're the one that drove me to drink!" "Don't play the pitty party Addison!" "Don't be a bitch!" Callie stared at her and pulled her back as she started to walk away. "Let go of me!" She seethed through her teeth and pulled her arm away. "I'm the bitch?! Look at how you are acting towards your friends when all they do is try to help you! Naomi comes here every week to clean up your mess!" "It's your fault I'm a fucking mess!" Addison screamed back at her. "Just because poor attention craving Addison didn't get to have me right away you drink yourself to death?!" "Fuck you!" "You did that already!" "Yeah and you threw me aside like I didn't matter! Like I was trash, the dirty mistress on the side! You choose him over me! I loved you!" "And I said I was sorry damn it!" "That's not good enough!" "Then what the hell is!? Huh Addison!? Let's blame Callie because it is all her fault she was confused! Let's blame her because she wanted her marriage to work! Let's blame her because she loved two people!" "Stop fooling yourself! You didn't love him!" "Your right I didn't! I loved you!" "Then why?! Why?! Huh!? Why do something like that to me?! I was always there for you!" Addison was moving closer and closer still screaming. "Why?!" She got in her face. "Why would you hurt me like that?!" "Because I didn't know what to do!" "And that gives you a right to hurt me!?" Tears streamed down her face and she wiped them away hurriedly. She turned away and walked up the stairs. "No... It doesn't give me the right to hurt you. What I did was wrong. I am so sorry Addison. You will never know the extent of me being sorry. But what will it take? What will it take for you to forgive me!?" She shouted the last sentence and sat down on the couch with her head in her hands and Addison continued walking upstairs. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Addison came down stairs a couple hours later and saw Callie fast asleep on the couch. She sighed and carefully covered her up with a blanket and made herself a cup of tea. She looked around and she knew they were right, they all were, she was trying to numb the pain and it had to stop. She didn't want to feel the pain, but causing everyone else pain was selfish. Addison sighed and sipped at the tea watching Callie. Her breathing was steady but it seemed she was struggling with something as she dreamt. Her head tossing from side to side as her body moved slightly left then right. Addison couldn't stand to see her that way and pushed off the counter. She carefully shook her shoulder until her eyes opened. "You need to sleep in the guest room." She said quietly. Callie nodded and Addison showed her the room then left quickly to retreat to her own room. Callie sat on the bed and stared into space. "Did I really do the right thing by coming out here?" She asked into the air. She just wasn't sure anymore. What she did know was that as long as she was here Addison wouldn't drink because Addison didn't like to drink in front of people at least not in front of Callie. She laid back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling thinking about what Addison had said. She was right, Callie had hurt her so bad that it was hard to appologize. She deserved every ounce of anger the older woman had to offer. She did toss her aside and she choose George. Now she regreted every minute of it. |
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| binks | Nov 2 2007, 02:12 AM Post #11 |
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Resident
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it is a start they need to talk |
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| xXamoursanglant | Nov 2 2007, 01:01 PM Post #12 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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yes yes they do indeed... alot of yelling went on in that chapter |
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| binks | Nov 3 2007, 02:01 AM Post #13 |
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Resident
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get un stuck |
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| addielove20 | Nov 3 2007, 11:06 PM Post #14 |
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Intern
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ok so this is good..they are actually together..it's a start...and i am trying to patiently wait for an update |
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| xXamoursanglant | Nov 3 2007, 11:40 PM Post #15 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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i kno im sorry really i am and it sucks because i kno im not going to update for a while because i have alot of school work to work on and catch up with i mean i totally spoiled you guys this week... i didnt go to school therefore i wrote the entire time and updated and posted and now you guys just want more and thats my fault lol but i cant do that my hours at work just spiked to about 30 from 15 and they have me working nearly everyday.. with school until i get caught up on things there will be nothing and i do mean nothing.. i kno it sucks but i cannot let my writing as good as it may be get ahead of school because it kinda already has and because of it im more focused on writing and sometimes thats good but right now when i need to get a 3.8 and i am failing two classes because i missed a week of school until i get caught up and i am not overloaded with worka nd STRESS (thats the biggest one) i will start posting again... thats not to say that i will stop writing or checking the board, ill be around just not as much and if i am its bsically to make sure things are running the way they should... not to worry im sure it wont be long besides come thanksgiving break with btw offically starts for me nov 16 and lasts til nov 26 there will be so much updating and writing you all wont kno what to do with yourselves... i promise you that
so please try to be patient with me as i try to catch up on physics (mainly labs and test) and two chapters of health alot of writing is ahead lol and not the kind i enjoy... so i am off for a while but not to worry ill keep you updated on how things are and everything just ask and il let you kno when things are looking good... and maybe between now and then i can manage to update these stories and get out of this slump we'll see... |
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| xXamoursanglant | Nov 27 2007, 11:56 PM Post #16 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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hey all, just re read the chapter, i may be able to come up with something between now and friday as long as work permits... i might pick up a shift friday i dont know yet but as of right now i am off... and off saturday morning too.. so ill be brainsotrming, in the meantime enjoy the updates ladies
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| xXamoursanglant | Jun 17 2008, 01:07 PM Post #17 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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I lost internet there for a while I do applogize! I am returning to write soon I promise I just have to get back into the mode. Working on it though! I should have something up soon. |
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| binks | Jul 16 2008, 12:07 AM Post #18 |
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Resident
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Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss |
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| xXamoursanglant | Oct 4 2008, 02:05 PM Post #19 |
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
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huh well i tell you what pick the fics you want me to finish... if its all of them thats fine you just have to give me time and i'll put them on my livejournal for you to read... maybe ill make my own fic journal but you HAVE to comment or i'll stop |
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| mona | Oct 4 2008, 05:21 PM Post #20 |
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Medical Student
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please do'nt stop. |
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9:11 AM Jul 11