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Mending a Broken Heart; click for summary
Topic Started: Oct 14 2007, 01:20 PM (1,948 Views)
xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
oh i more than likely have something up my sleve soon i got inspired today
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binks
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grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it is not posted yet
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
im working on it... you kno you love me :D
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
okay so here i am at 1:30am finished with chapter 5 and just got my butt chewed out, that was fun.. anyway i thought you should all kno my muse for this story right now is Jordin Sparks- Tattoo

Chapter Five
Over the course of a week, Izzie had truly gotten comfortable within Addison's house. She practically knew where everything in any room was. After going with Addison to see violet last week Izzie knew that this would be the hardest road for her to travel. Even after her escapade with Derek, even after Mark and aborting his child, even after all she has been through, this would be by far the most challenging for her to get through. Izzie sighed and moved through the kitchen brewing coffee and making toast for Addison. In Izzie's opinion she still wasn't eating enough.

A couple minutes later Addison emerged from her room wearing her pajama's and a bathrobe. Izzie watched as she walked from the doorway to the couch and plopped down on it. She made looking pregnant so easy, barely had gained any weight, she wasn't sick, she got few cravings, however, her moods were to be desired. Izzie had been here a week and already had been called very name in the book, been cried on at least a thousand times, and still she remains because she knows Addison needs her.

Just the other night Addison took her head off because Izzie tried to help her clean. "Stop helping me! I can clean! I am capable of doing things myself!" Addison pulled the dust cloth away from her and glared.

"I know you can Addy, I was just trying to help." Izzie recovered quickly from being surprised at her reaction.

"You're babying me, I don't need to be babied!" Addison yelled at her.

"Addy calm down, I was just trying to help."

"I don't need your damn help!"

Izzie sighed and threw her hands up. "Fine! Do everything yourself Addy! Do the dishes, cook, clean, take care of the house, make sure I am comfortable, go to your check ups! But who takes care of you?! Huh?! Who takes care of Addy?!" Izzie shook her head and slammed the door to the guest room after walking away.

Addison looked over to Izzie and knew that she was probably thinking about what a bitch she has been to her lately. Or that she's a pain in the ass. And truthfully Addison can't blame her, because even though it's expected, and even though Izzie is used to it after dealing with pregnant mothers all day, she shouldn't have to deal with it. Addison sighed and tried to breathe. "Izzie..."

"Yeah?" She said still moving around gathering plates and mugs. "Hey did you want some scrambled eggs today?"

"No..."

"Cereal?" Izzie tried again.

"No..." Addison looked down at her hands.

"Oatmeal?"

"No..." Addison repeated again.

"Muffin?"

"No, Izzie, I... wait did you say muffin?" She nodded. "What kind?"

"Blueberry."

"Okay." Izzie smiled and took a plate of toast, a muffin, and some juice into Addison. "Thank you." She said taking the plate from Izzie.

"You're welcome." Izzie hovered slightly watching Addison's hands shake as she brought it towards her. Out of sheer habit Izzie reached out for the plate and brushed Addison's hand in the process before setting it on her lap.

Addison looked up and their eyes met. "I'm sorry..."

"Sorry.."

Addison smiled and in turn Izzie smiled. "It's okay Iz..." Izzie nodded and excused herself. Addison tilted her head and watched as she walked into the guest room.

Izzie shut the door and pressed her back against it breathing heavily. She tilted her head back and let it rest against the door as well. "What am I doing?" She shut her eyes and inhaled deeply holding it for a couple seconds before letting go. She silently pushed off the door and ran a hand through her long blonde hair. Pacing back and forth she thought of something to do, anything to keep her mind off Addison.

When she heard a knock at her door she carefully opened it and saw a worried Addison in her doorway. "Hey.."

"Are you okay?"

Izzie nodded. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine." She swallowed hard. "I'm okay, you need something?"

"No I was just worried about you."

"Don't be." Izzie smiled. "Come get me when you're ready to go."

Addison looked at her strangely. "Okay." She smiled at Izzie and placed a comforting hand over her belly before returning to the livingroom. She couldn't help but think that maybe Izzie was keeping something from her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They arrived at Violet's office and sat down; Izzie in a chair and Addison on the couch. Violet looked at Addison oddly and she shrugged her shoulders. Izzie was staring out the window. "Well Addison, how is everything going for now?"

Addison stared through Violet and shook her head. "What? I'm sorry..."

"Are you alright?"

"Uh yeah. Yeah I'm okay."

Violet nodded. "Okay, why don't we pick up where we left off then?" Addison nodded. "Okay, we know you are angry at Callie for leaving you alone, and we know that you think it's your fault; how do you feel about that?"

Addison took a deep breath and sighed. "I... well I feel alone. Like I have to do this by myself, like I have to raise a child on my own... And I feel like shit all the time, I am always depressed... Except when Izzie is around..." Violet saw Izzie look over out of the corner of her eye.

"What happens if and when Izzie leaves?" Addison's face went blank.

"I... well... I uh... I don't... I don't..." Addison sighed and put her head in her hands before her shoulders started to shake. Izzie looked over at her then and her mouth dropped. When the realization of Addison being happier the time she has been here finally hit her she shook her head and walked over to Addison sitting down next to her rubbing her back gently.

"Addy, shhh, it's okay." Izzie tried to soothe her.

"No." She hiccupped. "It's not. Callie is gone, what happens when you leave too?" She looked up at Izzie then. "Everyone leaves." Tears formed in her eyes. "I can't handle it."

Izzie didn't know what to say to that. Izzie didn't know if she could stay even for Addison. Izzie had a job in Seattle, Izzie had patients, Izzie had a home... Would she be able to give that all up for Addison and stay here? Her mouth hung open for a moment before she looked at Violet and shut her mouth looking away.

Violet could see the puzzled look on her face and knew she was stuck with deiciding to stay and help or leave an leave Addison by herself. This was hard for both of them and Violet understood that. She was hoping that Izzie and Addison reached some sort of compromise somehow and soon, before Addison got too attached. Before Izzie couldn't leave.

After an hour of leaving the two of them alone Violet came back in. They were in the same position as when she left, so she figured that not very much talking went on. "Okay." She sat down. "Addison, we need to figure out a way to get you to address your issues at home and a way for you to get passed them. Any ideas?"

"I uh well, I don't know." She said in a low voice.

"Do you still have her things?"

"Of course I still do! What hell kind of fucking question is that?!"

Violet lifted her hand up. "Calm down, it was just a simple question. You need to start by boxing her things up, not everything, just the things that are taking up space. Leave the pictures and the momentos. Pack everything else." Violet stared at Addison. "Okay?"

Addison gaped at her. "I can't do that!"

"Why not?" Violet shrugged.

"Why not?! Why not?!" Addison stood quickly. "I throw her things away it's like I am throwing her away!"

"I didn't say throw away, I said pack."

"It's the same thing!"

"No, it's not. You know I think you need to talk to Pete."

"What?! Why?!"

"I'll set it up for our next session for you to talk to Pete." She began writing and when she looked up Addison was gone and her door slammed.


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binks
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addy has to be feeling that this is way to hard, that v is pushing to fast and want u to know that your killing me lol
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
you should definitely be dead by now so you can't be that mortally wounded... :D I am working on the next chapter as we speak, and you're right it is too soon for Addy, and shit is going to hit the fan... too bad it will be Izzie getting the most of that anger and frustration... ooops I just gave away the story line of the nexxt chapter... I bet I just stabbed your through the heart huh? :P
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binks
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THE HOLE IS SO BIG NOW I CAN BARELY BREATH LOL
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
HAHAHA!! :lol: Im sure you'll be okay I am working on chapter six now
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
Chapter Six

Addison and Izzie sat quietly at the kitchen table sipping decafe tea. Izzie stood and looked at Addison. "We need to start somewhere." Addison looked up at her and sighed before tears started to fall from her blue-green eyes. Izzie patted her shoulder and rubbed her back trying her best to soothe the grown woman.

Addison craddled her head in one hand while her other hand rubbed her belly protectively. She sniffled and wipped her nose with the back of her hand before rising from her seat. She carefully opened the cabinet above the sink and took out three coffee mugs. She set each of them on the counter and sighed looking down at them. She picked up Callie's favorite and held it in her hands carefully running her index and middle finger across the smooth ceramic.

Izzie walked up behind her placing a hand on the small of her back causing her to jump and knock one of the mugs on the floor. Izzie reacted quickly pulling Addison to the left to keep her from stepping on the pieces shattered on the floor. Addison clutched the mug in her left hand while her right hand was latched onto Izzie's shirt. Izzie held her close and rubbed her back to calm her breathing. "I'm sorry."

Addison was close to hypervenalating. "It's broke." She breathed deeply and caught a scent of orange and ginger. Her body tensed and she pulled away from Izzie.

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head and took short half breaths. "It's broke."

"Okay, okay. Calm down. Just breathe." Izzie helped Addison to the chair and held onto her hand while she sat regaining her composure. "What's wrong?"

"The mug, it's broke." Addison looked up at Izzie. "It's broke."

Izzie shook her head. "It's okay Addy."

"It's broke." She teared up again. "I don't think I can do this Iz."

Izzie hugged her tightly as her fresh tears streamed down her face. Addison clung to her with her the fiber of her being. "Shhhh. It'll be okay."

"No Iz, I don't know if it ever will be." She hiccupped.

"It will eventually." Izzie caressed her hair gently.

"Iz..." She sniffed.

"Yeah."

"I can't do this right now. I just can't do it yet."

"It's okay Addy, you don't have to." Izzie rubbed her back gently.

"I just I can't let go of her."

Izzie pulled away and knelt next to her. "Addy, look at me." She titled her chin up and met her eyes. "This IS hard. It's not supposed to be easy getting over someone you love. It's not supposed to be easy to move on. I promise it does get better."

Fresh tears burned her eyes again and Izzie wrapped her arms around her. Addison leaned into her for comfort and soon both women found themselves in a heap on the floor. Laying there the cool tile of Addison's kitchen reminded Izzie of herself not so long ago laying on the bathroom floor in Meredith's house. She also was reminded of a certain doctor who came in and picked her up telling her that it would be okay. And now she was doing the same for her.

After a little while Izzie helped Addison up and held her close while she walked her to her room. She carefully tucked her into her bed covering her with the sheet and a light comforter. She sat in the chair by her bed until she fell asleep just watching over this beutiful weeping woman before her. Addison's pain brought tears to Izzie's eyes. Wipping them away quickly she rose from her seat and moved back to the kitchen where the mess still waited.

She looked down thankful that it wasn't Callie's favorite mug in pieces on the floor, instead it was the same one Izzie had used. She carefully picked up the pieces and put them in a separate trash bag before putting it in the trash can under the sink.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Izzie sat in the living room and looked around. Callie's things were everywhere. Izzie thought about it for a while out loud. "Addy can't heal like this. Her things are everywhere." Shea paused. "It's not my place though. Addy needs to do this." She sighed and felt a lump in her throat. "She's just such a mess though, she's in so much pain, and it hurts her so much to even look at her things." She stood. "It's not my place, but it needs to be done." Izzie started in the kitchen finishing what Addison had attempted to start and began taking Callie's things from the cupboard.

Addison woke up a couple hours later and slowly opened her eyes. She heard rustling noises and listened closely. Not being able to figure out what the sound was, she rose from her bed and padded down the stairs. She stopped looking in the living room seeing boxes. Her mouth hung open and she suddenly became furious. "Izzie!" There was no answer. "Isobel Stevens!" When she reappeared Addison's face was bright red.

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong!? What's wrong!? Izzie! You packed her things!" She stepped off the last step and walked towards the boxes.

"Addison please calm down, you don't need to get all worked up." She glared at her. " Look Addy, all I was doing was packing up the things from the kitchen and living room that you didn't have out. Things that were in drawers and everything. I saw how much packing her mugs was upsetting you. I just wanted to help. I don't like to see you upset."

"That is not the point here Izzie... I... I need to do this myself, my own way." She looked up with tears in her eyes. "And I will... just not yet."

Izzie suddenly felt horrible. "I'm sorry, do you... do you want me to unpack it?"

"No, just don't pack anymore." Addison forced a smile and turned going back up the stairs.

Izzie frowned. "Addy." She stopped on the stairs and turned around. "Are you okay?"

Addison shook her head and continued to walk up the stairs. "No. I'm not okay."
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AnaWalsh
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Oow, Its sooo good
no one wants to kill you, what we really want its new posts LOL
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binks
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man this is hard but so good
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
thank you, it is hard to write addy so helpless and just utterly miserable because you always think she should be the one who is vibrant and overly sarcastic and loving life, but shes not and with the story line its not hard to kno why, losing someone is always hard especially someone you love like she loved callie, i still have yet to decide if i wll have izzie save the day or not yet i have a couple ideas but i dont want to get into the whole addison izzie right away even if i do.. addison is afraid of too much and still has a lot of shit to get through
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
sorry about the lengthy lack of updating everyone

Chapter Seven

The next morning when Izzie woke up she could hear rattling paper and banging cabinets. She rubbed her eyes and sighed throwing her covers off. She hadn't gotten much sleep after the fight her and Addison had. She knew that it wasn't her place, but she really did hate to see Addison so upset. Carefully trying not to make too much noise she gathered clothes for the day and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

She closed the door and turned the hot water on letting it run for a while. When it started to steam she added the cold water and stepped inside letting the warm water run over her tense shoulders and back. When she reemerged Addison was still rummaging through things. Silently she walked to the couch while drying her hair and sat down.

Addison immediately turned around and stopped what she was doing taking a deep breath. "You were right to start last night." Izzie didn't say anything. "I'm sorry I reacted like I did."

Izzie shook her head. "No it's okay. I deserved it."

Addison put the objects in her hands down and walked over to the couch. She sat down and took Izzie's hand. "No, it is not okay. You did not deserve that." She took a deep breath. "What you deserve is this." Addison reached around and hugged her tightly. "And an apology."

Addison pulled away and looked at Izzie carefully. She tilted her head and let the towel fall from her hand. Unhesitatingly she pushed the stray hair out of Addison's face. "I just don't like to see you upset." Izzie gulped down the lump in her throat.

Addison patted her knee and rose from the couch. "I know." She walked back to the kitchen to finish up where she left off. "Would you mind helping me? There's still upstairs yet."

Breathing deeply and nodding Izzie rose to her feet. "Sure."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A week later Addison and Izzie sat in Violet's office once more. "So, do you feel you have made and progress?"

Addison nodded. "I started packing her things." She paused. "Actually, Izzie started doing it, but I came down stairs while she was in the middle of it."

Violet nodded and thought for a moment. "What did you do?"

Addison cringed remembering the tone of voice she had used with Izzie that night. "I yelled at her."

"Why?"

"Because I needed to do it."

Violet nodded. "Did you ask her why she was doing it?" Addison nodded. "What did she say?"

"She said she couldn't stand to see me upset." Addison smiled and looked over to Izzie who was sitting in the chair across from her. Violet picked up on the not so frequent behavior and had to smile herself.

"It's good to see that smile again." Addison looked up with a surprised look on her face.

"She's right, It is nice to see you smile again." Naomi said as she walked into Violet's office. "Pete is ready to talk to you." Izzie went to stand with Addison and Naomi shook her head. "Alone." Addison opened her mouth to protest. "Don't worry, I just want to talk to her, then you can have her back. I promise. Go, it'll be fine."

Addison left accompanied by Violet and Naomi shut the door. "Now, I don't know what is going on, but.. and that is a big but, she's starting to be happy again. Don't you for one second think that you will just up and leave because of it. She is happy because of you, make sure it stays that way. I am her best friend and I will make sure that you do not hurt her. If you do so help me god, you will wish you had never met me."

Izzie stood putting her hands in front of her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. What are you talking about?"

"You and your googley eyes."

"Now, hang on just a second. You think that I am googley eyed?"

"I know you are. And understandably so."

Izzie sat down. "Is it that noticeable?"

"Put it this way, Violet pegged you the moment she saw you with Addison."

"Shit..." Izzie put her head in her hands. Her head shot back up. "She cannot know. You cannot tell her."
Naomi looked shocked. "I mean it!"

"Why not?"

"She does not need this right now. She needs a friend and that is what I am here for."

"Izzie, she wouldn't want you putting your feelings on hold you know that."

"No!" Izzie shot to her feet. "You don't understand. I am in love with her and I do not want her to see it as me trying to take Callie's place. She wouldn't trust me. She wouldn't let me be here for her and she needs me. She does not need someone pinning for her, and that is what she will see it as." Izzie sat back down and sighed.

"You don't know that."

Izzie shook her head. "No, I don't for sure know that. But I lived that. I did that to someone I cared about, and I know how it felt for me, I don't want her to feel torn between loving Callie and being with me even if she does seem like she wants that. I don't want her to regret that."

"I've seen the way she looks at you."

"Unfortunately so have I." Izzie sighed putting her head back in her hands.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Violet knocked on Pete's office door and waited. "Come in."

"Hi." Addison said quietly.

"Hey." Pete stacked his papers and out his pen down. "Violet said I should talk to you about what you are going through."

Violet nodded. "You should, yes. I'll come back in twenty minutes." She said and left.

Addison sat down and crossed her arms. "You don't have to talk, I didn't really want to anyway."

"No, I think I do. You see eight years ago I lost my wife." Addison looked up surprised. "One day she was there the next she wasn't."

"How did you deal with it?"

"Truthfully, I never really have. Time passes and the pain starts to numb. But that is the reason I still don't date. My relationship with her was not great, and don't get me wrong I loved her and I still do, but things could have been better. I know it was hard for me so I know it is certainly hard for you. Especially the way you and Callie loved each other. But with time as Izzie said that day she talked about Denny. It gets better. So really you should listen to her. You should lean on her. And you should see what is staring you right in the face."

"What are you talking about?"

"I am talking about the way she looks at you and takes care of you. I have seen a few of your sessions from the lobby and I can tell she has feelings for you. Be careful but not too careful that you push her away. You are both dealing with a lot of stress, you should be beaten senseless for the stress you are putting yourself through when you know better, but never the less. And if you need anything homeopathic let me know." Addison nodded and silently made her way to Naomi's office.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Violet walked back to her office seeing Izzie with her head in her hands and Naomi standing there with a dumbstruck look on her face and her arms crossed. "What did you say Nae?"

"I was doing the best friend thing."

"Great, so you pretty much chewed her a new ass. She really doesn't need that."

"Actually all i said was that she better not hurt Addy or I would hunt her down and make sure she wished she never met me. She did the ass chewing herself."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Izzie said through her hands.

"Sorry. Are you okay? Do you need to talk?"

"No. This is about helping Addison, not helping me about my..." Naomi and Violet both turned around to see Addison coming around the corner.

"Hey I was looking for you."

"Fellings." Violet cringed when Izzie finished her thought not knowing that Addison was right here. She looked up hearing the silence and suddenly wished that she hadn't had her head in her hands. "Fuck!" She stood quickly grabbing her jacket and dashed for the door.

"Iz!" Addison called after her. "Izzie!"

"Damn it! What did you say to her Nae?!" Addison paced. "I don't need her running off and getting lost! What am I supposed to do, just go looking around all of LA?!"

Naomi held her hands up. "Wait a second before you just jump down my throat! I was only playing best friend. I said if she hurt you I'd make sure she wished she never met me. Why is everyone always assuming that I said something?"

"Because you usually do." Violet said.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"Addy calm down." Naomi said rubbing her shoulders. "We'll find her." She pulled her jacket on. And held Addison's out to her. "Come on."
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binks
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still killng me in the new year
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AnaWalsh
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Yeeeeeeey an update *-*
this is great (so original that kinda comment huh? xD) and you muuust write more soon *-*
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
oh dont you worry i busted out the muse playlist lol- thanks for the comments girls- hope you had a great new years and christmas- will update soon
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Cadison328
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i love your new banner so cute, sorry off topic. I also love the direction you've taken this fic
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
hey you! yea i like the way its going, its future so izzie isnt a bitch in it lol... anyway im kinda upset with the fact i have no time to write, bastards have me working like everyday, not to mention i just pulled a close firday double saturday and dounlbe sunday... i just got home not a half hour ago... i am beat... in pain, and tired as hell
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
I am returning to write soon I promise I just have to get back into the mode. Working on it though! I should have something up soon.
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xXamoursanglant
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I've got a heart that can hold love... Sara Ramirez, Grateful
Chapter Eight

zzie left Ocean Side Wellness, with no purpose what so ever. What was clear was that she needed to leave, to think, and to gather her thoughts. It was winter in California, it wasn't cold, but it was still chilly and Izzie pulled her jacket closer to keep the chill out. Her feet carried her down the street and then down an alley way before looking up at the darkening sky.

Her breathing was shallow and she could see the remnant of her last breath. Why was she so stupid? Why was she getting herself into this mess? She knew she shouldn't and yet she did anyway. Addison was hurting, she was hurting, who was she kidding? An audible sigh escaped her lips as she leaned against a brick wall. It was cool against her arm and she was starting to really re-think coming down here.

Addison sat in the passenger seat while Naomi drove. They hit the closest streets first, after all she couldn't have gone far. They were going past a side alley when Addison grabbed Naomi's arms and yelled. "Stop!" Addison got out of the car and rushed into the alley way. "Izzie!" She yelled and made her way to wear the girl was standing against the building. "Izzie, please!"

Izzie turned to meet Addison's eyes and couldn't speak. "Addy..."

Addison shook her head and hugged her tightly. "God, don't do that! I already lost Callie, I can't lose you too." It was out of her mouth before she even knew what she was saying. She pulled back from Izzie staring at her. "I can't handle that, Izzie."

"I'm sorry." Izzie wrapped her arms around Addison's waist and pulled the taller woman closer. "I'm so sorry." Her voice trembled and she held back her sobs. "I won't leave you again." It was a whisper that no one was meant to hear, not even Addison, but she had heard it. Only she chose not to mention it.

Addison pulled away and smiled softly through her own tears. Tugging at Izzie's hand she pulled her back to Naomi's car and got in. A couple hours later they were sitting in the living room together watching the fire flicker against the walls. "Izzie?"

Izzie looked up and watched her face, flames dancing across her skin. "Yeah?"

Not even for a second had Izzie's eyes left Addison's. "Are you okay?"

Izzie nodded waiting until her voice was calm. "Yeah."

When she did look away Addison reached out taking her face between her thumb and forefinger. "Liar." She said it softly, Addison watched Izzie's eyes flicker with understanding. She leaned forward and let her lips brush against Izzie's tentatively.

After Addison pulled away Izzie bit her lip and shook her head. "I'm sorry Addie, I can't... I just... I can't." Izzie got up and paced the living room with her arms crossed, bitting her lip. "I can't be Callie." She looked to Addison, who seemed to understand what she was saying. "I can't take her place, I don't want to... Addie," Izzie's eyes pleaded. "You love her, you miss her, you're still grieving." She shook her head. "I can't do this right now..." Izzie said quietly before making her way upstairs.

Addison sighed, watching her retreating form, God she was stupid sometimes. She should have thought before doing that. She ran a hand through her hair wishing now more than any other time, that she wasn't pregnant, that Izzie wasn't right. She wished Callie was still here. She wished that she could get over it and be with Izzie, because as much as she misses Callie, she loves Izzie. It's not fair, it's just not fair. The wishes hung in her chest pounding, threating to explode. She put a hand over her chest clutching at where her heart should be, it didn't help. For the first time in a week she sat and cried, hugging her knees to her chest as much as she possibly could. Several minutes passed before she stood wiping her tears away frustratedly on her sleeves. She picked up a frame on the mantel piece and threw it at the wall.

It shattered and she picked up the next nearest thing and flung it at the same spot. The crystal box shattered and she collapsed to her knees, her chest heaving in and out as heart wrenching sobs wracked through her body. Her fists clenched and she leaned forward on to her knees looking down at the floor. She hadn't noticed that Izzie was watching her from the stairs. She hadn't noticed her hand was bleeding. All she knew was it hurt.

Izzie carefully walked over and pulled her up to her chest, holding her tightly. Izzie took her over to the couch and sat with her. She rubbed her back and cooed in her ear trying to get her to calm down. She looked for a cloth and bandages to dress Addison's wound. Izzie pulled her hand open to start cleaning the wound. Her fingers were soft against Addison's skin and careful to be gentle. Izzie then poured a fair amount of peroxide on her hand, blowing the liquid slightly before she looked up meeting Addison's eyes. She placed a bandage on it and pulled Addison back to her chest while she started to cry again. An hour passed, then two, and Izzie finally got her to calm down. By now she was staring at the fire again listening to it crackle as the wood burned.

"I think maybe we should get out and do something tomorrow." Izzie said softly. "What do you want to do?" Addison didn't answer. "Addy?"

"Okay." There was a long pause before she answered again. "What ever you want to do is fine."

Izzie nodded and held her tightly. She kissed the top of her head and sighed, knowing she was completely screwed to hell and back, because there was no way she couldn't not be involved. She was in too deep even now.

Addison woke up the next morning wishing she could spend the day in bed. Instead she showered and was down stairs in no time. Five months pregnant proved the stairs were pissing her off already. She waddled. It was very unpleasant for her. She got to the kitchen and smelled the breakfast Izzie was cooking and frankly she wanted to shovel it down her throat. She was just that hungry.

Izzie put a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon in front of her; quickly followed by a glass of orange juice. Addison smiled at her and she also sat down to eat the same thing. Once done, Izzie suggested a drive and Addison dressed accordingly. Izzie drove the coast until she hit the outskirts of the city and finally stopped when she reached the closest state park. She drove a little ways past it into a small town and pulled over at a local pawn shop. She went inside and returned with a nice digital camera in hand. She got back in and drove to the entrance of the park.

Once the car came to a stop she helped Addison out and they walked to a bench. Addison sat and watched as Izzie took pictures. Izzie was smiling, not just because she was happy, but because, Addison was gaining healthy weight, she didn't look like she was going to faint at any second anymore. That made Izzie a very happy person right now.

Addison kept a close eye on her as she snapped pictures until she came to face Addison and she looked away. "Oh come on Addy, let me get a picture of you." She pressed with a smile.

Addison turned back to her. "Fine, but if it looks bad..." She warned smiling. Izzie took a great deal of pictures. Addison stood in some of them with the breeze in her hair. She sat in some, she smiled in some, she posed in others. It made them both smile.

Soon enough though Izzie heard Addison's stomach grumble in protest. "Hungry?" Addison nodded. "Let's go then." Izzie led her back to the car and they drove into town. Izzie spotted a diner and pulled in. Again she helped Addison out and walked with her arm resting on the small of her back.

Over the course of the day they ate and enjoyed themselves without Addison really thinking about Callie too much. Addison looked at Izzie. "We should do this again."

Izzie nodded. "Maybe the zoo tomorrow?"

"The zoo?" Addison question quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes, Addy, the zoo. After that maybe the mall for some shopping. Then who knows what, the beach maybe."

"Izzie, it's freezing outside."

"Nah, no swimming genius. Just taking pictures. I like taking pictures."

"Yes, I see that." Addison smiled and laughed softly. "I'd like that Iz." Which also made Izzie smile.
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I'm sorry for the lack of updating!
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