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WWF Flashback: March 1993
Topic Started: May 14 2018, 07:02 PM (92 Views)
Scrooge McSuck
I'll get you next time, toilet!
[ *  *  * ]

- Last time on the WWF Flashback… Hulk Hogan returned to WWF TV for the first time since WrestleMania VIII, coming to the aid of Brutus Beefcake and introducing Jimmy Hart as their new manager… Yokozuna builds momentum for WrestleMania IX, injuring American hero “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan… Tatanka picked up two non-title victories over Shawn Michaels to build interest for a match scheduled at WrestleMania IX… Doink embarrassed Typhoon and the Big Boss Man as he continues to get a strong push… Mr. Perfect vignettes continue to air as they push forward with the less-than-thrilling angle with The Narcissist, Lex Luger. Speaking of Luger, his matches all seem to end with his opponents knocked unconscious from an elbow strike… Repo Man debuted a new outfit, featured once on Mania and never seen again… The Giant Gonzales is a menace to society and the eyeballs of wrestling fans…

- WWF Championship Match: Bret “Hitman” Hart (c) vs. Headshrinker Fatu (w/ Afa) – From the March 1st episode of Monday Night Raw. Yes, in Kayfabe, there’s a possibility of FATU vs. YOKOZUNA as the WWF Championship Match at WrestleMania IX. Just another chapter in the “Bret is the most fighting Champion in WWF History” storyline. Rob Bartlett is dressed as Elvis and does a bad impression to take away from the in-ring action. Bret starts with a head lock. He comes off the ropes for a body press but Fatu catches and plants him with a slam. Elbow drop misses and Bret starts working the arm. Crisscross, Bret plays opossum and surprises Fatu with a roll-up for two. Bret rolls through a slam, hanging on to the arm-bar. He makes the unwise decision to go for a headbutt, pays for it, and gets laid out with a Super-Kick. Fatu with a short-clothesline for two. Fatu slows things down with a nerve hold as we take a commercial break.

We return with Bret looking like death on the floor. Back inside, Fatu with a back breaker for two. Piledriver for two. Bret appears to have a cut on his nose. Hard whip to the corner for two. Fatu with a side suplex and diving headbutt from the middle rope for two. He makes a trip to the top rope this time, but Bret pops up and straddles him across the turnbuckle. He goes up with Fatu and takes him over with a Super-Plex for two. Running bulldog for two. Back breaker and elbow drop, but before the Sharpshooter is applied, Samu runs in after a distraction from Afa. They pull the “twin switch” but only get a two count. They switch back (because that makes sense), Bret rams them together, hanging Samu up in the ropes. Afa gets knocked off the apron with a dropkick, and the Sharpshooter finishes Fatu at 12:55. For whatever reason, referee Earl Hebner counted three with the hold applied before calling for the submission. If only Botch-a-Mania existed in 1993. Surprisingly good considering we didn’t get to see much of Fatu (or Samu) doing much in competitive roles on television. ***

- Koko B. Ware vs. Doink (the Clown) –
Also from the March 1st episode of Monday Night Raw. Koko has magically healed up since his devastating knee injury against Money Inc., and for whatever reason, comes out to his “Do the Bird” theme music rather than the High Energy theme. Doink attacks from behind and quickly goes to work on the left knee. Wait, Doink is following up on an angle taped for syndication?! He turns Koko over with a single-leg crab and transitions into a cross-face. We switch things up with a spinning toe hold as Koko flails away, as if it was his only defense. Doink with a swinging neck breaker, and the Stump Puller forces Koko to submit at 1:49. Wow, that was a total annihilation. Add Koko to the list of babyfaces Doink has emasculated, as we bid farewell (for now) to the Birdman. Post-match, he slaps a pie in Rob Bartlett’s face. Isn’t he supposed to be a heel? ½*

- From the March 1st episode of Raw, Vince McMahon is standing by for an interview with Money Inc. Dibiase says just like Beefcake, Hogan has been gone and he’s gotten a little soft. He says Jimmy Hart was an over-paid go-fer. I.R.S. says what he did to Beefcake was give him a little wake-up call. IF they did this to Beefcake, what’s going to stop them from making Hulk Hogan the latest victim of the “Beefcase”? I.R.S. has a picture of Hogan (cropped from a WWF Merchandise Catalog) taped to the briefcase for emphasis on the “joke.” Dibiase calls Beefcake the weak-link of the team and confirms that the titles will be on the line at WrestleMania IX.

- Typhoon vs. Papa Shango – From the March 6th episode of Mania, taped on February 16th from San Diego, CA. These Mania exclusives seem more like those Prime-Time exclusives that feature a bunch of geeks doing nothing. Lockup and Shango with a headlock. Whip to the ropes and a shoulder tackle does nothing. Typhoon catches Shango going for a body press and plants him with a slam. Shango calls for a test-of-strength but chooses to plant a pair of boots to the midsection. He misses a charge and gets planted with a second slam. Typhoon is a slow, lumbering dinosaur, and can’t follow up. Shango sends him to the corner and pounds away. Whip and Shango with a dropkick for two. Typhoon fights out of a sleeper and knocks Shango to the floor with a clothesline. Screw it, Shango grabs his Voodoo staff and shoots sparks at Typhoon to draw the Disqualification at 4:58. Dull match with two guys who in no way needed protection. ½*

- “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan is standing by, in front of a fireplace. He says he’s carried the American flag proud. Everything has changed for him personally and in the ring. He succeeded in knocking Yokozuna off his feet but made the mistake of turning his back on him. He still sees the crumpled flag in the ring as he was taken out of the ring and the stretcher and says he feels he let everyone down, including his country.

- From the March 6th episode of Superstars, Raymond Rougeau is standing by for an interview with the reigning WWF Champion, Bret “Hitman” Hart. As WWF Champion, he’s watched Yokozuna run through everyone he’s gotten in the ring with. What he did to Jim Duggan should put goosebumps on your spine. He wants Yokozuna to keep in mind how he became the WWF Champion, with tenacity, dedication, and most important, the excellence of execution. It’s only fitting that their match is taking place in Las Vegas because the odds are stacked against him. He promises Yokozuna that like everyone else who’s stepped in the ring with him, he’ll have respect for the Hitman when he leaves the ring empty handed.

- WrestleMania IX Report! NEW MATCH SIGNED! Money Inc. defends the Tag Team Championship against The Mega-Maniacs! They’re now pushing this as a card with a DOUBLE Main Event. The report is cut short by Harvey Wippleman and The Giant Gonzales in the ring, promising destruction of The Undertaker.

- “El Matador” Tito Santana & Virgil vs. Money Inc. – From the March 8th episode of Monday Night Raw, taped on March 1st from the Manhattan Center. Non-Title Match because a victory over the Beverly Brothers hardly makes Santana and Virgil title contenders. Santana and Dibiase start. Lockup into the ropes leads into a shoving match. Dibiase with rights in the corner. Whip across the ring, Santana greets Dibiase with an elbow and grabs a side headlock. Virgil and I.R.S. come in for an exchange. Virgil with a headlock and shoulder tackle, followed by a hip toss and clotheslines. Double elbow from Santana and Virgil gets two. Vince McMahon goes on about the Nasty Boys stepping aside for the Mega-Maniacs to get a shot at the Tag Titles at WrestleMania IX. I heard the payoff was a box of Twinkies and a 6-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Tito and Virgil switch illegally, slapping their hands to trick the referee. DASTARDLY. We come back from break with Irwin putting Santana down with a knee to the midsection. Santana fights out of a front face-lock and we have the legal men down in the middle of the ring. Virgil with the hot tag. It’s a short-lived comeback, as Dibiase trips him up and I.R.S. finishes with a back suplex at 7:34 (minus the commercial). Decent action, nothing you’ll remember 20-minutes from now. **

- Mr. Perfect vs. “The Model” Rick Martel – From the March 8th episode of Monday Night Raw. We haven’t seen much of Martel lately, except for his appearance in the Royal Rumble Match. Martel spent the duration of the episode harassing the ring card girls. Neat warm-up match for Perfect, fighting another vain gimmick character in the weeks leading up to WrestleMania IX. Martel with a side headlock and shoulder tackle. They trade slams and mule kicks until both are back to a neutral position. Martel gets heat with a cartwheel and jumping-jacks. Whip to the corner, Perfect charges in and meets the knees. Model with a takeover into a hammer-lock. Perfect uses his momentum to escape, sending Martel out of the ring. We come back from break with Martel in control. Gut-wrench suplex gets two. Perfect escapes a chin-lock but takes a knee to the midsection. Martel with a back breaker, but a slingshot splash meets knees. Perfect with a pair of atomic drops as we take a second break. We come back and Perfect is… celebrating? I guess he won the match with the Perfect-Plex during the break. ON A TAPED SHOW. Decent match with a retarded finish. **

- Crush vs. Damien Demento – From the March 13th episode of Mania, taped on March 7th from Fayetteville, NC. Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred are still in the booth calling the action. Demento with trash talking (possibly to Crush), including spitting on his own hand, mocking Crush’s hand gesture. Crisscross sequence ends with Crush hitting a dropkick. Much like Battle Kat, when SEAN MOONEY rips into you, you’re done (speaking of Demento, obviously). Demento goes for the arm but Crush casually counters. He no-sells some boots and takes Demento down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Demento counters a back-drop attempt with a DDT and drops a leg across the back of the head. We slow things down with a LONG chin-lock, giving plenty of time to hype WrestleMania IX. Crush (eventually) escapes and catches Demento off the ropes with a back breaker. Crush with a heel kick, press slam, and the Cranium Crunch to finish Demento at 7:39. They easily could’ve trimmed this down, because it stunk. If Crush has trouble beating Demento, how can we expect him to defeat Doink (the Clown)? ¼*

- From the Match 13th episode of Superstars, Raymond Rougeau is in the ring with Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji, following an easy victory for Yokozuna over an enhancement talent. Rougeau says what just happened will not happen to Bret Hart at WrestleMania IX. Fuji says after WrestleMania, they’ll call the Hitman the “Squash-man.” “What we are talking about here is “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.” Fuji orders Yokozuna to show respect. Yokozuna lays out the jobber with a belly-to-belly suplex and gives him another Banzai Drop. Fuji calls Yokozuna an honorable man, and you should show him respect.

- WrestleMania IX Report! NEW MATCH SIGNED! Bob Backlund makes his WrestleMania Debut to take on “The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon. Wow, Razor went from headlining two PPV’s to being in one of the bottom matches at WrestleMania.

- The Giant Gonzales (w/ Harvey Wippleman) vs. Jim Powers – From the March 14th episode of All-American Wrestling, taped on January 26th from Fresno, CA. Yes, an ALL-AMERICAN FEATURE. Sure, it was taped nearly two-months ago, but it’s still something, and I’m sure some tape traders back in the day loved the idea of a new Jim Powers match. Gonzales does the fee-fi-fo-fum act, no-selling all of Powers’ attempts at trying to inflict damage. Gonzales grabs him by the head and slams him down. Whip to the ropes and he manages to lift his leg up for a big boot. He pulls Powers off the canvas, plants him with a Choke-Slam, and that’s all she wrote at 1:44. Just a squash match. An EXCLUSIVE squash match!

- Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango – From the March 15th episode of Monday Night Raw from Poughkeepsie, NY, the first episode of Raw presented away from the Manhattan Center, and the day of a nasty storm that caused all kinds of travel problems. Another episode of Raw is ruined by Rob Bartlett, who does a show-long impression of Vince McMahon, calling the action with the Brain and Gorilla. Backlund avoids a charge and picks the leg. Shango easily wins a test-of-strength, but Backlund rolls through with a counter and works the arm. Whip to the ropes and Shango with a back breaker. Shango with another back breaker and elbow drops before settling in with a chin-lock. Backlund fights to his feet but takes a knee to the midsection. Shango goes for a slam, but Backlund cradles him for three at 6:59. That came out of nowhere. I watched most of the match on mute, so maybe that made it slightly more tolerable. *

- The Nasty Boys vs. The Headshrinkers – From the March 15th episode of Monday Night Raw. No Afa at ringside. They waste a bit of time, playing to the crowd. You’ve seen one Nasty Boys match, you’ve seen them all. Samu attacks Knobbs from behind and clobbers him in the corner. Whip and Knobbs comes back with a pair of clotheslines. Sags avoids a double clothesline and lays both Headshrinkers out with his own. Knobbs with a single-arm DDT on Fatu. The Nasties take turns working on the arm. Samu with a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Fatu to put Sags down with a Super-ick. We come back from a break with Fatu choking away on Sags. Monsoon describes the match as having “very little rhyme or reason.” I wouldn’t call it that bad, but with Bartlett babbling, it’s hard to focus. Samu misses a headbutt from the top, allowing Knobbs to get the hot tag. He cleans house but makes the mistake of going for a double noggin’ knocker. Somehow a double DDT works. I’ll never understand Samoan physics. The action spills to the floor and it’s an old fashioned Double Count-Out at 6:23. They brawl near the concessions table and THE MUSTARD HAS BEEN USED! Decent action and kept short. **

- “El Matador” Tito Santana vs. “The Narcissist” Lex Luger – From the March 20th episode of Mania, taped on March 9th from Augusta, GA. With the advertised lineup, Tito Santana is left off the card at WrestleMania for the first time, having been featured in a match at Mania’s 1 through 8. He ended up working the dark match, but with WWE, if it happens before the official start of the PPV, it might as well never have happened. Lockup easily won by Luger. They fight over a wrist-lock until Santana knocks Luger into the corner. Luger with an elbow to escape a hammer-lock. Whip to the ropes, Santana ducks a clothesline and comes off the ropes with a body press for two. Santana with an arm drag into the arm-bar. Luger tries a slam but Santana rolls through with the hold. Luger uses the tights to throw Santana into the turnbuckle. Monsoon says the pendulum has swung a complete 360 degrees (shakes head). Santana with a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. Luger is up first and lays Santana out with a clothesline. Santana with a small package for two. School boy for two. Luger again pops up first and drops him with a forearm (not THE forearm). Santana keeps doing hope spots. He connects with dropkicks and a running knee lift. He hits the Flying Forearm, but Luger kicks out at two. Whip to the corner, Santana meets a boot, and Luger KO’s him with the forearm for three at 8:54. Surprisingly competitive, and overall a decent effort. **

- From the March 20th episode of Superstars, Raymond Rougeau is standing by for an interview with “The Narcissist” Lex Luger. It was nice of Rougeau to have a mirror on the podium for Luger to admire himself in. Rougeau’s words fall on deaf ears as he continues to pose. He suggests Perfect will be victorious at WrestleMania, finally drawing his attention, and a scoff. He reminds us he’s “beyond perfection.” Mr. Perfect shows up via the video screen. Luger says he wished he didn’t hide behind the screen and was out here by his side. Only then he could truly appreciate what a physical specimen The Narcissist is. Perfect says he can’t wait for WrestleMania and makes his way to the interview set. Luger continues to gush over himself. Perfect wants to poll the audience on who’s perfect around here. He hangs his towel over the mirror and quotes Snow White and the Seven Dwarves to prove his point.

- WrestleMania IX Report! It’s going to be the WORLD’S LARGEST TOGA PARTY! I’m guessing Vince McMahon just watched Animal House for the first time. NEW MATCH SIGNED! Kamala goes one-on-one with Bam Bam Bigelow.

- “The Rocket” Owen Hart vs. Skinner – From the March 21st episode of All-American Wrestling, taped on March 7th from Fayetteville, NC. High Energy has quietly split-up, and Owen has THANKFULLY ditched the parachute pants in favor of a singlet with rockets on them. Well, it’s a start, I guess. He kept the theme music in the divorce, though. WrestleMania VIII Rematch! Lockup and they fight over a wrist-lock. Whip to the ropes and Owen takes Skinner over with a hip toss. Owen showcases his athleticism to counter a wrist-lock, then flips over Skinner to roll him up for two. Skinner cheats to take control of a test-of-strength. Owen bridges to his feet and springboards off the top rope, taking Skinner over with a hip toss. Owen with a side headlock, but another hip toss is countered with a clothesline. Skinner celebrates with some butt-ugly dancing. Skinner with a shoulder breaker for two. Swinging neck breaker (with a lazy cover) for two. He hits the Gator Breaker but refuses to cover. He pulls Owen to his feet and gets cradled for the three-count out of nowhere at 4:49. Not a fan of slipping on banana peel finishes, but this was fine. *3/4

- Tatanka vs. Blake Beverly – From the March 21st episode of All-American Wrestling, taped on March 7th from Fayetteville, NC. Considering Tatanka’s challenging for the Intercontinental Title, this shouldn’t take too long. Monsoon and Lord Alfred calling the action. We must be nearing the last of Alfred on PBP. Blake attacks from behind but Tatanka quickly gains control and knocks him out of the ring with a clothesline. Back inside, Tatanka with a hip toss and chops. Tatanka misses a blind body press as we take a break. We come back with Blake in control with a chin-lock. We find out that Kamala vs. Bam Bam has been added to WrestleMania IX. That does it, I’m buying the PPV now for the low price of $24.95. Alfred is playing it heel, which means he’s not just terrible, but annoying. Tatanka escapes but gets planted with a power-slam. Whip to the corner and Blake with a back suplex. Tatanka with a cross body but Blake rolls through for two. Tatanka starts his comeback, lays into Blake with chops, and finishes with the Fallaway Slam at 6:26. This was OK. *1/2

- From the March 22nd episode of Monday Night Raw, we see highlights of Vince McMahon being honored with the Michael Landon Award of Honor, with the award presented to him by Hulk Hogan, who called McMahon his hero.

- The Bushwhackers vs. The Repo Man & Damien Demento – From the March 22nd episode of Monday Night Raw, and we’re back at the Manhattan Center. They’re used infrequently but I still can’t stand watching Bushwhacker matches, and who the hell picked their opponents? It’s like the most random combination you could think of. Demento and Butch start, and it doesn’t take long for butts to be bitten. Demento and Repo get whipped into each other and knocked to the floor. Luke gets worked over with nothing but the punchy-kicky offense. Butch gets the hot tag and runs wild with clotheslines. Repo tries his best to help Demento but the power of Whacker-Mania too much for him, and the Bushwhackers finish him with the Battering Ram at 5:29. Bad match and thankfully kept short. Repo Man’s final TV match. Darsow would have a few runs with WCW and made a pair of one-night returns to the WWF as Repo Man (at WrestleMania X-Seven and the Raw 15th Anniversary). DUD

- Kamala (w/ Reverend Slick) vs. Doink (the Clown) – From the March 22nd episode of Monday Night Raw. Doink has given his green wig an odd haircut, as if he were the title character in “Annie.” He also comes out with a present. Doink teases Kamala with it and pulls it away. Doink goes for the legs, taking Kamala off his feet. He slaps on a weak dragon sleeper, but Kamala doesn’t know how to sell it. Doink goes back to working the arm. Kamala escapes with chops and hits an avalanche. We come back from commercial and Kamala makes another comeback. He knocks Doink to the floor and gives chase. Doink hands Kamala the present and rolls back into the ring while Kamala play dumb and gets Counted-Out at 3:41. The mystery present was nothing. Post-match, Kamala chases Doink from ringside. A popular finish these two did around the horn. ¼*

- Mr. Perfect vs. Papa Shango – From the March 27th episode of Mania, taped on March 9th from Augusta, GA. We’re only 8 days away from the World’s Largest Toga Party™! Shango attacks from behind with clubbering. He dumps Perfect to the floor and continues to pound on the back. Back inside, Perfect comes back and knocks Shango out of the ring with a dropkick. Perfect follows him out, sending him into the steps. Back inside, Shango regains control, still working the back. Perfect throws some kicks but Shango no-sells. He plants Perfect with a slam and drops elbows for two. Things slow down (even more) with a chin-lock. Perfect makes his comeback, hitting the rolling neck snap and a slam. Shango misses a headbutt to the midsection, and the Perfect-Plex puts him away at 7:56. The worst Mr. Perfect match I’ve seen in the Flashbacks, taking over the spot previously occupied by Tugboat (a May ’91 exclusive from Challenge). DUD

- From the March 27th episode of Superstars, it’s the premiere of the WrestleMania Music Video, song courtesy the new Superstars Album. It’s the “OOOH! OOOH! WrestleMania” song that was used a few years later as Linda McMahon’s theme music (minus the lyrics). I love that the song opens with “Are you ready for the Survivor Series?” Like… what?! It’s a dumb song, but it’s catchy enough to have a little bit of charm.

- “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan is standing by, hanging out in a lumber yard this time. It hit him one day and a voice in his head told him to “give yourself a kick in the pants.” He’s going to get his body back in shape and he’s on a mission to avenge himself, his family, and his flag, because he’s taking aim at Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji.

- From the March 27th episode of Superstars, “Mean” Gene Okerlund and President Jack Tunney are in the ring for the official contract signing for the WWF Championship Match at WrestleMania IX. Yokozuna stares a hole through Bret throughout the signing. Yokozuna pushes the table into the chest of Hart. What, a contract signing that turns physical? Never saw it coming. He crushes Bret in the corner with an avalanche and squashes him with the Banzai Drop! Is this a preview for WrestleMania IX? Sgt. Slaughter shows up with referees to restore order. Bret struggles to get to his feet with the crowd cheering him on but quickly collapses at the feet of Yokozuna. He finally gets back to his feet and raises the belt over his head on the way out.

- The WWF Hall of Fame is created, and the first man inducted is the legendary 8th Wonder of the World, Andre The Giant. They show a montage of clips throughout his WWF career, and yes, choking Bob Uecker makes the cut, along with the stare-down with Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania III, his performance of the “Fish Song” on Tuesday Night Titans, and his farewell at WrestleMania VI. The rumor that the Hall of Fame was created to spite WCW, who were looking to introduce their own a few months later, is probably true, but it’s always nice to see someone honored in an era where anything that happens outside the TV world isn’t acknowledged.

- The Steiner Brothers vs. Glen Ruth & Dale Wolfe – From the March 28th episode of Wrestling Challenge. Glen Ruth would go on to better recognition as Thrasher of the Head Bangers. Heenan begs Monsoon for tickets to WrestleMania (no doubt for scalping), but Monsoon turns him down, saying he’s out of tickets. Monsoon just said the Headshrinkers were undefeated. I guess it’s true, they haven’t lost on TV to my knowledge (minus Fatu doing a singles job). Heenan wants to know Monsoon’s predictions, but first we get an inset promo from the Headshrinkers and Afa. Monsoon says none of them have both oars in the water. Monsoon always has his money on Hulk Hogan. Heenan agrees with him because they have Jimmy Hart in their corner, and officials let Hogan get away with anything. Heenan refuses to wear a toga and insists he’d rather wear a see-through raincoat. Rick hits Ruth with the flying bulldog for three at 3:27. If you’re wondering why this was included, it’s the last match to feature the commentary team of Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan.

March to WrestleMania IX – A USA Network Prime-Time Special, presented on March 28th, 1993. All matches were taped on March 7th from Fayetteville, NC. Vince McMahon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan are calling all the action, unless otherwise noted. We’ve got a decent lineup announced, but first, we see highlights of the contract signing featured on Wrestling Challenge (but still used on Superstars, much like the Money Inc/Natural Disasters title switch from the Fall of ’92).

- “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji) – Savage is making his first (TV) in-ring appearance since the January 25th episode of Raw, and he’s being used as a warm-up for the #1 contender to the WWF Championship. Lockup and Yokozuna throws Savage to the canvas. Savage grabs a side headlock and comes off the ropes for a shoulder tackle. It goes as well as you’d expect. Yokozuna tosses him over the top rope, to the floor. This isn’t the Royal Rumble! Yoko follows and sends Savage into the post. Back inside, Savage teases a comeback with a flurry of left jabs and rights but gets laid out with a shot to the throat. Yokozuna with a slam, followed by a massive leg drop. He peels Savage off the canvas and chokes him out in the corner. Whip across the ring and the avalanche misses. Savage comes off the top with the double axe-handle, knocking Yokozuna down to one knee. He goes up again, but this time Fuji jabs him with the flag pole. Yokozuna recovers and hits a belly-to-belly suplex for three at 6:37. Post-match, he tries to add insult-to-injury, but Savage fends him off. A glorified squash match with a finish that makes you take notice to Mr. Fuji being at ringside. *1/2

- “Mean” Gene Okerlund is standing by for a special interview with the Mega Maniacs: Hulk Hogan, Brutus Beefcake, and Jimmy Hart. They’re playing it up that Beefcake will have to wear a protective TITANIUM mask in the ring to protect his surgically repaired face. Hogan talks about Beefcake’s comeback being one of the greatest of all time, and it almost turning into a nightmare. He heard the millions of Hulkamaniacs praying for Brutus. He road to the bright lights of New York City to meet Beefcake with an ice-pack on his face, watching Moe, Larry, and Curly. What… the… hell? Beefcake joins in, talking about walking down the aisles of K-Mart to pick up the hair tonic to do a number on Money Inc. This is officially one of the worst promos I’ve ever heard.

- Mr. Perfect vs. Skinner – Before the match, we get a video on Lex Luger and his extremely strong right forearm that has knocked people out in every match he’s had. Skinner attacks from behind and tosses Perfect over the top rope. Skinner follows him to the floor and slams him face-first onto the steps. He tries it again but Perfect turns the tables and sends him into the post. We cut ahead (this must be the “encore” edition of the special) with Skinner in control with choking. Perfect fights from his knees, pounding at the midsection. Skinner rakes the eyes to slow him down again, then drags the eyes across the top rope. Whip to the corner and Skinner misses a dive, straddling himself on the middle turnbuckle. Perfect sends him into the corner with an atomic drop and lays into him with chops. Perfect sends him across the ring and mounts him with more right hands. Perfect with a fist to the midsection, knee lift, and rolling neck snap. Skinner gets one last desperation shot in with his Gator Claw. Whip to the ropes and Perfect counters a back drop with the Perfect-Plex at 4:06 (shown). Just a short match to give Perfect momentum going into WrestleMania IX. *

- Kamala (w/ The Reverend Slick) vs. Kim-Chee – I can’t believe in some markets THIS was an advertised match taken around the horn. In case you missed it one of the handful of times already mentioned, Kim-Chee is a masked Steve Lombardi, a.k.a. The Brooklyn Brawler. Kim-Chee browbeats Kamala and pounds on him in the corner. He yanks Kamala by the beard and slaps him around. Kamala finally fights back with a chop and kick to the chest. He catches Kim-Chee coming off the ropes with a bear-hug. Whip to the ropes and Kamala with a double chop to the throat. He plants Kim-Chee with a slam and hits the splash. Then we spend a while with Kamala unsure how to pin him, but the crowd eventually guides him into the proper position, and that’s the finish at 2:10. Post-match, Kamala presents Slick with Kim-Chee’s hat, and he shows off some of his dance moves for old time’s sake.

- The Bushwhackers & Tiger Jackson vs. The Beverly Brothers & Little Louie – For the first time in over 4 years, we’ve got midgets in a WWF match. Tiger Jackson was based out of Quebec, and the younger brother of midget star Little Beaver. Try as I might, I can’t find much on Little Louie. There’s a few scattered results of a “Little Louie” dating back to the early 70’s, other than that, nothing. This should be obvious, but the match is played completely for comedy. Jackson joins in on the usual Bushwhackers antics. Beau cheap-shots Luke to start the action. We get synchronized butt-biting from all three. Louie chases Tiger around until Luke gets in the way. Tiger sneaks up behind him and connects with a dropkick. Tiger drops Louie with a chop and covers. Louie presses him into the arms of referee Bill Alfonso, and he keeps throwing Tiger back on top. Louie rolls away from an elbow drop and we’re back to the “normal sized” men. Butch takes Blake down with a bulldog and works the arm. The midgets get involved, running over Blake while he’s on the canvas. Beau hits Luke from behind with a double axe-handle. The only thing that Luke has done that looks good is taking a bump into the turnbuckles. Butch gets the hot tag and does the usual. Tiger hits Louie with a clothesline and the Bushwhackers help him to the top rope for a flying body press to finish at 10:00. As a wrestling match, this was bowling shoe ugly, but for comedy on commentary, it was entertaining. ½*

And for the sake of it, here’s some choice lines from the previous match:

(regarding Little Louie)
"See what happens when you quit working out? Isn't that Hillbilly Jim!"

(regarding Tiger Jackson)
"I would love to have him in my house, we could use someone to sweep under the sofa."
"That's a shame... Tiger Jackson looks like the smartest one on the team. I guess you can call him a half-wit."

"Boy is he excited, I bet he (Tiger) feels like he's three feet tall."

(The Bushwhackers and Tiger are marching around the ring together)
"How would you like the house next door be for sale, and see these three walking up the drive way? That would scare you off."
Vince: They would be great neighbors.
"Oh yeah, wouldn't have to worry about putting your garbage out, they'd eat it. You'll have to keep your house pets in..."

(talking about WrestleMania IX)
Vince: Gorilla Monsoon may come in via an Elephant.
"You mean they're going to put an Elephant on Gorilla Monsoon!?

"They should pull his teeth!"
Vince: Pull who's teeth? Butch doesn't have any teeth, and Luke is missing a number of them.
"No, pull Tiger Jackson's teeth. He's only got three, you know. It's all they have."
Vince: What do you mean, all THEY have?
"All midgets have is three teeth. They're good for opening cans."
Vince: We apologize for the obsurdity of Mr. Heenan, if in fact, he is offending anyone.

"Poor Tiger Jackson couldn't have breakfast this morning."
Vince: Tiger Jackson could not have breakfast?"
"He ordered cereal and they brought milk, but he wanted Half and Half."

- WrestleMania IX Report! Here’s the full-card, taking place Sunday Afternoon in Las Vegas, NV on April 4th.

Bret “Hitman” Hart defends the WWF Championship against Yokozuna
Money Inc. defends the Tag Team Championship against The Mega-Maniacs (Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake, managed by Jimmy Hart)

Shawn Michaels defends the Intercontinental Championship against the undefeated Tatanka
The Undertaker battles the near-8-foot tall Giant Gonzales
Mr. Perfect faces “The Narcissist” Lex Luger
Crush goes one-on-one with Doink (the Clown)
The Steiner Brothers meet The Headshrinkers
Bob Backlund goes up against Razor Ramon
Kamala takes on Bam Bam Bigelow

- The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow – This one screams “non-finish” considering both are near the top on both sides of the depth chart. They go nose-to-nose. Bigelow throws the first punch. Undertaker catches him coming off the ropes with a drop toe hold and claws the face. Bigelow leads Taker in a game of cat-and-mouse and works him over with headbutts. Whip to the ropes and Taker counters a back drop with the DDT. We come back from a commercial with Undertaker on the outside. Bigelow pulls him back in and connects with a back suplex. Whip to the corner and Bigelow with a power-slam. Undertaker sits up after both spots. Bigelow plants him with a slam and drops a headbutt across the chest. Taker sits up again, so Bigelow hits him with more headbutts. Bigelow makes the trip to the top rope and misses his signature flying headbutt. Undertaker comes off the ropes with the diving lariat and plants Bigelow with a Choke-Slam. Bigelow immediately rolls out of the ring and takes the Count-Out loss at 5:47 (shown). Post-match Giant Gonzales comes down the aisle for a stare-down, but nothing physical happens. *1/4

- Music Video to hype Bret Hart, set to Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.” Mixed in are the usual clips from more recent action, but the most obvious head-scratcher is a brief clip of his match with Bad News Brown from WrestleFest ’88. The next oldest clip? His match with Ted Dibiase from the April ’91 episode of Saturday Night’s Main Event. Oh, and there’s a clip against that Dino Bravo guy. That seems like a mistake to me.

Final Thoughts: We’re officially ready for WrestleMania IX. The program between Money Inc. and Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake took center stage over the last few weeks, having been added to the lineup considerably later than the other significant matches on the card. The outcome to the WWF Championship Match seems to have little doubt, with them pushing forward with an obvious program with Yokozuna and Jim Duggan. There’s no new angles being developed, since we’re all in with building interest for the PPV. We got the obligatory face-to-face confrontations with Undertaker/Gonzales and Perfect/Luger, and all Bret Hart wants is a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T (sounds like real-life Hart, too). Two tidbits coming out of the month is the end of the on-air relationship for Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon, and the introduction of the WWE Hall of Fame, with Andre The Giant being the lone inductee.
Edited by Scrooge McSuck, May 14 2018, 07:57 PM.
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Erick Von Erich
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I'm sorry, but Heenan's long-running midget jokes still make me laugh. Bushwhackers teaming up with a midget for a comedy match was probably the BEST use of them.

And I'm SHOCKED that "the Beefcase" didn't get over as a catch-phrase or added to the WWF lexicon.

They seem to have a little bit of momentum going in to WrestleMania and it feels more like the WWF we were used to from 1990-1992.

Oh...and don't think we haven't noticed that you skipped over all the ICO-PRO references!
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Scrooge McSuck
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God, all the fucking ICO-PRO... As a kid, I had no idea they were nutritional supplements, especially advertised with the WWF Stars, along with commercials for the Hasbro toys, WWF video games, and G.I. Joe.

That 6-Man on the M2WM is probably my favorite Bushwhackers match just because of Heenan's commentary.

I honestly didn't remember the hype for the tag title match being this poor. Hogan is cutting some of the worst promos I've ever heard from him (not including nonsensical stuff like the one at Mania 4), and Beefcake feels out of place with the 2 1/2 year layoff. His promos were never great, but he's been especially awful here.
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Scrooge McSuck
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WWF @ Madison Square Garden – March 21st, 1993 – We’re only two weeks away from WrestleMania IX. Most of the lineup features matches with nothing to do with the storylines featured on television. Matches not featured in this recap: “Terrific” Terry Taylor pinned “Jumpin” Jim Brunzell, Virgil pinned The Repo Man, and Tatanka pinned Reno Riggins (subbing for Papa Shango). You’re digging deep for replacements when RENO RIGGINS makes his way onto the MSG card.

- “El Matador” Tito Santana vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler – Jerry Lawler’s MSG Debut. Lawler filled in for Shawn Michaels for a week’s worth of dates in February, but this tour is where he’s advertised as a regularly appearing in-ring performer. Lawler cuts a promo before the match, using some racially insensitive remarks that would never fly today (hint: the word he used ends with “backs”). Lawler demands that Santana bow down and kiss his feet but Santana spits on them instead. Lockup to the corner and Santana with a hip toss. Lawler with a side headlock but Tito escapes, tossing him across the ring. Lawler complains about a hair-pull and stalls. A LOT. Santana surprises him with a roll-up for two, then we get MORE STALLING. Lawler teases a walk-out, resulting in a chant of “Burger King.” Whip to the ropes and Santana with a back drop. Lawler with a sucker punch and excessive celebration. He connects with a piledriver and tries to lead a chant of the slur he used earlier. Dude, not cool. Lawler tries wrapping Tito’s legs around the post but ends up tasting the steel instead. Santana with the Flying Forearm, knocking Lawler out of the ring. Lawler blocks a sunset flip attempt and uses the ropes to steal the three-count at 13:56. This sucked. DUD

- Rob Bartlett makes his one and only appearance at Madison Square Garden as a WWF employee to interview The Giant Gonzales and Harvey Wippleman. If you’ve read about one promo from them, you know what to expect. Promised destruction of The Undertaker at WrestleMania IX.

- Rick Steiner (w/ Scott Steiner) vs. Irwin R. Schyster – This was originally advertised as a Non-Title Match between the Steiner Brothers and Money Inc., but Ted Dibiase has been nursing an injury in the weeks leading up to WrestleMania IX, making this the only significant match to be altered from the promised lineup. They did a show in Boston the same day, with Scott working the match. Lockup and Steiner with an arm drag. I.R.S. with a scoop slam and hip toss. Steiner quickly makes the comeback, sending I.R.S. to the floor with a clothesline (Steiner-Line!). Back inside, Steiner takes Irwin over with a suplex. They have a game of cat-and-mouse until Rick grabs him by the tie and hangs him up across the top rope. Irwin escapes a headlock and avoids a dropkick. He takes over, tossing Steiner out of the ring and throws him into the steps. Back inside with the patented abdominal stretch. Whip and elbow followed by an elbow drop for two. We slow things down with a long chin-lock. Steiner brings the knees up on a splash attempt. He hits I.R.S. with an atomic drop, followed by an elbow. Whip to the corner and Steiner with mounted punches. Steiner with an inverted atomic drop but he goes flying over the top rope missing a clothesline. I.R.S grabs a chair but Scott wrestles it away from him, allowing Rick to recover and roll him up for three at 10:17. Perfectly acceptable match. **

- “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. Doink (the Clown) – They ran an angle earlier in the night where Doink attacked Savage, delaying the start of the match (and a method to ensure the NY crowd boos him more coming out for a second turn). Savage rushes the ring and throws Doink into the ring steps and post. He puts the boots to Doink inside the ring and chokes him out in the corner. Doink tries to bail but Savage follows with a running knee to the back. Doink uses Savage’s aggression to toss him out of the ring and wraps the left arm around the post. Doink steals from Savage’s playbook, hitting an axe-handle from the top rope. Doink with a shoulder breaker and a slam. He goes to the top and meets a boot on the way down. Savage sends Doink into the corner and comes off the top rope with his own double axe-handle. Doink reaches into his coat pocket and sprays Savage in the eyes, drawing a Disqualification at 7:15. Post-match, Savage lays into Doink with rights and knocks him out of the ring with a clothesline. Standard formula match from Savage for the time. *1/2

- Bret “Hitman” Hart & Mr. Perfect vs. “The Narcissist” Lex Luger & Razor Ramon – Main Event of the Night™. I’m sure I recreated this match plenty of times playing Royal Rumble on the SNES. Add Lex Luger to the list of people making his Madison Square Garden debut. His program with Mr. Perfect is the only active angle at the time with participants of a given match having an issue with each other. Ramon attacks Perfect from behind to start. Perfect reverses a whip and takes Razor over with a hip toss, sending him to the floor. Back inside, Perfect with a side headlock but a shoulder tackles goes in Ramon’s favor. Perfect catches him coming off the ropes with a drop toe hold and slams his knee onto the canvas. Luger tags in and sends Perfect from corner to corner. Whip reversal, Perfect with a fist to the midsection, followed by a knee lift and dropkick. Bret in, working on Luger’s arm. Luger grabs a bear-hug, but Bret quickly escapes with biting. Ramon back in, and he quickly gets worked over. Perfect with a leg pick and spinning toe hold. Bret jerks the hamstring and slaps on a Figure-Four. Luger makes the save, hitting Bret with an elbow drop. Bret with a surprise roll-up on Luger for two. Perfect with an atomic drop, inverted atomic drop, and clothesline. Whip to the corner and Perfect shoots him in with a slingshot. Perfect with a HUGE forearm (the Axe?) and mounts him with a flurry of rights. Luger tries to counter but Perfect lays him out with a clothesline. Swinging neck breaker gets two. Perfect runs the ropes, but Razor pulls them down, causing him to spill to the arena floor.

Ramon sends Perfect into the steps before feeding him back into the ring. Luger with a whip to the corner, complete with an over-sell bump. Perfect ducks a clothesline but jumps into the arms of Razor for the Fallaway Slam. Side Slam gets two. Luger with a back breaker for two. Perfect gets worked over in the corner and tossed out of the ring. Whip to the ropes and Razor with a clothesline for two. Luger cuts off a tag attempt, trapping Perfect in a bear-hug. Perfect with a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. Perfect hooks a sleeper but is backed into the corner to force the hold broken. Bret gets the tag, but referee Bill Alfonso misses it. Luger accidentally hits Ramon with a clothesline, allowing Bret to get the real hot tag. Bret unloads with rights, sends Luger into the corner, and dives onto Ramon, pounding away on both at each given time. He hits Luger with an inverted atomic drop and clothesline, followed by the double noggin’ knocker. Russian leg sweep on Luger, followed by a second rope elbow drop. Ramon saves Luger from the Sharpshooter. Bret takes Razor down with a back suplex, but it causes a referee bump. Bret with a small package, Luger turns it over, and Perfect turns it over again for the three-count at 19:10. I hate that finish. Post-match, THE GIANT GONZALES shows up and beats on Bret and Perfect. Randy Savage tries to make the save, but it’s in vain. What the hell is that for a finish?! Good match, if not a few minutes long. ***1/4

Final Thoughts: This is an incomplete card, missing all of the preliminary matches that I’m sure were probably not good (Taylor/Brunzell is the only one on paper with hope, depending on how much effort Brunzell put forth). Of the matches presented, the Main Event is good, Rick Steiner vs. I.R.S. is alright, Randy Savage vs. Doink is fine for what it is, and Santana vs. Lawler is atrocious, both for the lazy work and Lawler’s racially insensitive heat-seeking.
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Scrooge McSuck
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Monthly News and Notes:

We open another month with another death in the wrestling world, and one of the more interesting stories surrounding a death. Adolfo Bresciano, best known to the wrestling world as Dino Bravo, died on March 10th, 1993 (aged 44) in what could best be described as an execution style “hit”. Bravo, according to rumor and innuendo, had a Mafia connection and was allegedly involved in smuggling cigarettes across the Canadian border. As a child, learning of his death (probably through PWI), I always assumed he was killed drive-by-shooting, but the harsh reality is he was likely executed at close range by a person (or persons) he trusted in his company, as he was shot repeatedly in the head and torso from short range while his wife and daughter were out at a dance lesson. As much as we’ve slacked on Bravo for his poor work, his illogical push towards the end of his career, and a physique attributed to steroids, the story painted of his demise leaves you feeling sorry for a family he left behind because of his involvement in illegal activities to maintain a high-end lifestyle that he could no longer afford away from the wrestling world.

Hulk Hogan’s in-ring return wouldn’t be at WrestleMania IX. Other than filming a ton of promos, he ended up working three matches in the dates leading into the biggest PPV of the year. Hogan teamed with Beefcake in all three matches, the first and second taking place at the TV tapings on March 8th (North Charleston, SC) and March 9th (Augusta, GA), and the third a match with Money Inc. from Lakeland, FL on March 19th. The Augusta match was taped for Coliseum Video and found its way on “Grudges, Gripes and Grunts.” The finish? Hogan cheating to beat the JTTS Beverly Brothers by bopping one of them with Jimmy Hart’s megaphone.

Owen Hart injured his knee at the March 8th tapings and would miss all of March and April. He was never scheduled for a spot at WrestleMania IX, so it was easy to miss him since you’d only see him one or twice per set of tapings, and they actually featured the match where the injury happened on television!

Here’s some fun with TV Taping Tryouts! Among those who got a showcase were The Night Stalker (Bryan Clarke) Mike Shaw (formerly known in WCW as Norman and Trucker Norm, as well as Mahkan Singh in Stampede). Oh, and the infamous tag team THE TOXIC TURTLES. Thank you GOD for that Unreleased DVD set. The Toxic Turtles were Barry Hardy and Dwayne/Duane Gill in obvious TMNT costumes, and they FUCKING BOMBED. When a mark audience in 1993 shits all overa match, you know you laid a fucking turkey. You thought the Gobbledy Gooker was terrible? This is the new standard for awfulness.

Believe it or not, The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzales headlined a card for the USWA in Louisville, KY and actually drew one of their largest houses in recent years (by 1993 standards, of course). Gonzales could pop a number once but his WCW run proved that fans had no interest in seeing him return.

Raymond Rougeau took the boots down from the retirement stand and worked the March 19th Lakeland show, defeating The Brooklyn Brawler. The rest of that card included Skinner def. Koko B. Ware, Bob Backlund def. Kim-Chee, Typhoon def. The Cuban Assassin, and Bam Bam Bigelow def. Kamala. What an undercard!

Razor Ramon, who suffered two blown knees in the month of February, suffered a serious staph infection in the weeks leading up to WrestleMania IX and there was genuine concern he wouldn’t have been ready to compete.
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true maharajah Jinder Mahal
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Why oh why are you watching this again?

Most of these matchups reek of dreck
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Scrooge McSuck
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I like to re-experience the full picture of the presentation. Watching all these old shows is no different to me than watching Seinfeld from series beginning to finale on Hulu for the 76th time.
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Scrooge McSuck
May 17 2018, 08:49 PM
We open another month with another death in the wrestling world, and one of the more interesting stories surrounding a death. Adolfo Bresciano, best known to the wrestling world as Dino Bravo, died on March 10th, 1993 (aged 44) in what could best be described as an execution style “hit”. Bravo, according to rumor and innuendo, had a Mafia connection and was allegedly involved in smuggling cigarettes across the Canadian border. As a child, learning of his death (probably through PWI), I always assumed he was killed drive-by-shooting, but the harsh reality is he was likely executed at close range by a person (or persons) he trusted in his company, as he was shot repeatedly in the head and torso from short range while his wife and daughter were out at a dance lesson. As much as we’ve slacked on Bravo for his poor work, his illogical push towards the end of his career, and a physique attributed to steroids, the story painted of his demise leaves you feeling sorry for a family he left behind because of his involvement in illegal activities to maintain a high-end lifestyle that he could no longer afford away from the wrestling world.
Well written summation of Bravo. It's a very curious case and one that isn't talked about, much. Partially due to Bravo's lack of popularity in the States. It'd be worth a 30 minute documentary, at least. Well... scratch that. Considering the type of people that were involved, it might not end well for a reporter or film crew.

I coulda' swore that he came back on TV as a babyface (with dark hair and no music) in the late summer or fall of 1992. Not sure what made me think that. Or was that about a year earlier in 1991?

When I first got back into wrestling, hardcore, in January 1988, I saw an interview with him before the Royal Rumble. I kinda' liked him, as he seemed very humble and wasn't his usual braggadocious character. No Frenchy Martin, either. He was saying it'd be nice to wrestle Hulk Hogan, someday, and that he was somewhat nervous about his bench-press attempt. So I went into the Royal Rumble thinking he was a face. Then I saw that event and his subsequent TV appearances and thought: "eh, he's your typical loudmouth, egotistical, bad guy".

Looking at his WWF work, now, it seems like he was more suited for the territories. Big fish in a small pond, and all that.
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Scrooge McSuck
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He had a short return in the summer of '91, but nothing taped for syndication in the states. They taped for the Canadian market to get a feud going between him (as babyface) against "Not the Mountie" Jacques Rougeau. His only appearances in '92 were a few select dates in Quebec and the post-Mania 8 European Tour. There were plans do a retirement show for him in Montreal at the end of '92, but by that point, word came out about his involvement with the mafia and all plans were canceled.
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During an episode of PTW prior to SSlam 91 I do recall them showing a match of his. It was during a taping in Canada.
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