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TNA Impact! Replay; 3-11-05
Topic Started: Mar 19 2005, 10:03 PM (565 Views)
Mad Dog
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ho ho who the hell are you?
[ *  *  * ]
Hosts are Mikey Teney and Don West.

Video package to build up Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page.

Mikey Batts and Cassidy Reilly vs. Raven and Abyss

Raven knocks Reilly off the apron before the bell and it's Abyss and Batts to start the match. Abyss throws Batts into the corner and gets a chop. Abyss sends Batts into the corner but charges into a boot. Batts charges into an Abyss press slam. Raven tags himself in and gets rolled up while arguing with Abyss. Raven hits Batts with a clothesline followed by a russian legsweep into the turnbuckles. Raven tosses Batts out of the ring and then hits a russian legsweep into the guardrail. Back into the ring and Raven uses another russian legsweep into the turnbuckle. Ok, we get the point already. A knee from Raven and then Abyss tags himself in. Batts tags Reilly in as Raven and Abyss argue over the tag. Hot tag time as Reilly fights off the heels. Abyss just won't go down and it gives Raven the change to regain control with a dropkick. Batts comes off the top rope but Abyss catches him and press slams him out of the ring. Excellent bump by Batts there. Reilly escapes the torture rack backbreaker but runs into the Blackhole Slam and gets pinned at 2:19. Ok squash by the heels. Abyss was his usual awesome self but Raven appeared to be dogging it. A major plus for the heels not getting along though which never happens in the WWE. *

WINNERS: Raven (1-0) and Abyss (1-0)

Jeff Hardy taunts Abyss on the big screen and Abyss rushes to the back.

Commercial Break

Mike Teney introduces Jeff Jarrett for interview time. Jarrett complains that Dusty Rhodes has a vendetta against the King of the Mountain. And says he's jealous because he'll never actually wear this title. Actually Rhodes has held the NWA Title a few times but thanks for playing. Jarrett runs down DDP as not being able to beat him. DDP decides to come out to add his own two cents. Generic DDP promo follows. I'm sick of Jarrett with the belt but at least DDP's strict match planning promises a *** match at the PPV.

Commercial Break

AJ Styles joins the table for some guest announcing.

Michael Shane wants to see Dusty Rhodes but Traci and Trinity basically ignore him. I would too.

"Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels vs. "Future" Chris Sabin

Daniels gets a quick STO and then punches the fallen Sabin. Daniel with several headbutts followed by a bodyslam. Daniels comes off the ropes and hits an elbow drop followed by a nearfall. Sabin escapes a tilt-o-whirl and they exchange punches. Sabin hits a side kick but runs into a clothesline from Daniels. Daniels hits a few knees before using another STO for another nearfall. Daniels with a neck wrench and we get the sleeper escape routine. Back and forth until Daniels gets an atomic drop. Daniels gets a two count. Daniels hits some forearms before springboarding into a dropkick from Sabin. Sabin hits a rana and follows it up with an atomic drop. Enziguri gets a 2 count for Sabin. Daniels tosses Sabin on a tornado DDT attempt and hits another STO. Daniels misses the Triple Moonsault and Sabin almost gets the pinfall with the side rollup. Daniels uses the ref to escape the Future Shock and hits the Angel Wings for the win at 3:51. Solid X Division match. Though I've noticed that irish whips these days are countered 99.9999% of the time. I hate when moves become cliched. Daniels doesn't seem to be comfortable with these short matches. **

WINNER: Christopher Daniels (1-0)

Commercial Break

Konnan stops the Outlaw backstage. B.G. James and Ron Killings end the horrible exchange to my relief. 3 Live Krew argues afterwards. Never ever try to make Gunn talk or act. Bad things always happen.

Sonny Siaki vs. the Outlaw

The things I sit through for you people. Anyone remember when Siaki was one of TNA's breakout stars in the early days? I wonder who he pissed off in the front office? Long lock up hat ends when Outlaw punches Siaki in the corner. I'm really fighting the urge to call him Gunn right now. Back and forth until Siaki gets a drop toe hold and an armdrag. Siaki hits a hiptoss and the Outlaw wants a timeout. The Outlaw cheap shots Siaki while the ref is between them. The Ou..... oh screw it.... Gunn with a full nelson slam. Gunn covers for a one count after stalling. Gunn chokes Siaki on the top rope. Siaki fights back with some uppercuts but Gunn gains control with a knee. Gunn hits a suplex and then gets caught in some knee to the back move from Siaki. Siaki pounds on Gunn with chops and punches and hits a heel kick. Siaki gets a clothesline and a shoulder block. Gunn gets a kick to the gut and a Fameasser finishes at 2:54. I shudder to say this but the Outlaw looked to be in a lesser form of bad tonight. Though Siaki is wasted in this role. Why not stick a total jobber in there? The Outlaw gave up too much offense for a first match in a new federation. 3/4*

WINNER: The Outlaw (1-0)

Commercial Break

Team Canada talks trash to America's Most Wanted and Dustin Rhodes while they sit in the back of Dusty Rhodes "office." D'Amore is probably the best manager in wrestling right now.

Buck Quartermain and Lex Lovett vs. the Harris Brothers

Buck and Lovett attack before the bell starts. I have no way of telling the Brothers apart so they'll both just be known as Harris. Lovett and Harris start the match in the ring. Lovett hits a dropkick. Back and forth until Harris hits a swinging neckbreaker. Harris hits a side slam followed by a suplex. Another suplex and Harris hits Buck. Fallaway slam and the othe Harris gets tagged in. H-Bomb and it's over at 1:28. This match was kind of silly. Everyone knows who the Harris Brothers are and they don't need built up for the PPV. Phi Delta Slam could've used a few more wins going into this PPV. As long as the Brothers don't win the Tag Titles they're a welcome addition to the weak TNA tag ranks. Dud.

WINNERS: Harris Brothers (1-0)

Phi Delta Slam attacks. They manage to get just one Harris in the ring and administer a beating. A missed frog splash turns the tide and the FratBoys bail out of the ring. I can't say that I care. I've seen Phi Delta Slam in one match so far. Bad buildup for these guys.

Commercial Break

Dusty Rhodes and Kevin Nash are talking. Rhodes is going on about past taped fist matches. Nash hints at wanting a first blood match. The Outlaw comes up. Rhodes informs them of what their match will be now. Yeah don't care.

David Young w/ Chris Candido and the Naturals vs. Shark Boy

Shark Boy looks away and Young attacks. Young nails Shark Boy with some punches but gets a knee to the face. Shark Boy hits a drop kick and goes for the ten punches in the corner but Young counters with an atomic drop. Young hits a boot and then a neckbreaker after botching his first try. Douglas distracts the ref while Candido holds Shark Boy. Shark Boy ducks and Young hits Candido. Shark Boy gets a neckbreaker and goes for a pin but Douglas still has the ref distracted. Shark Boy does a baseball slide through the refs legs to knock Douglas off the apron. Shark Bite for Young followed by a bulldog. Shark Boy almost gets the win with a nearfall. Shark Boy goes for the Dead Sea Drop but Candido has his foot. Shark Boy fights free but jumps into the Spinebuster at 1:45. That supposedly ends David Young's losing streak even though he's won in TNA before. Nothing match as Shark Boy could be huge with a run as the X Division Title. 1/2*

WINNER: David Young (1-0)

The Naturals lift Young onto their shoulders to celebrate his win. Candido's stable is getting quite interesting. I like the idea of him taking underused TNA talent and mentoring them.

Commercial Break

Monty Brown joins the table as a guest announcer. He talks trash about Tryton and their PPV match.

Lance Hoyt w/ Kid Kash vs. Apolo

This is Apolo's third stint with the company and he seems to get worse in the ring everytime he appears. TNA is trying really hard to build a Latin star for their promotion and have been left looking due to Hector Garza's stupidity. So Apolo is attempt number two at building a Latin star. Several lockups and staredowns to start. Apolo gets a headlock to start. They do the whole "I'm too strong to be taken down by a shoulder block" routine. Apolo gets the first good blow in with a clothesline. Apolo hits a couple of uppercuts before Kash grabs his leg. Apolo turns and gets greeted by a Hoyt clothesline. Two count on Apolo gets followed up by a sideslam. Yeah Hoyt is a tall guy with long hair doing a sideslam. Stunning isn't it? Hoyt gets another two count and just decides to choke Apolo. Hoyt gets a few elbows until Apolo fights back with punches. Apolo runs into an elbow from Hoyt and gets a two count. Kash chokes Apolo on the ropes while Hoyt plays to the crowd. Hoyt chokes Apolo in the corner with his foot. There's another of those big man cliches in action. Hoyt beats on Apolo until he manages to fight back. Hoyt uses a double axehandle to get a two count. Apolo no sells some chops in the corner. Apolo returns the favor with some chops of his own and then takes down Hoyt with a clothesline. Another clothesline and a very poorly done DDT gets a nearfall. Kash hits Apolo and gets nailed. Apolo ducks a clothesline and hits an ace crusher for the win at 4:51. To quote the Sea Captain "yarr, that's going to replace the whale in my nightmares." Apolo is even worse than he was last year if you can believe that. Hoyt gave it his best but just isn't the carrying type. 1/4*

WINNER: Apolo (1-0)

The arena goes black and Tryton is standing in the middle of the ring before things go black again.

End of Show.

Overall:

What an awful show. The matches were just boring squashes with almost no energy. Nothing really interesting happened on the show. Please put more X Division guys on a show when you know you have to build up slugs like Apolo.

Match Recap:
Raven and Abyss d. Mikey Batts and Cassidy Reilly (2:19) with the Blackhole Slam *
Christopher Daniels d. Chris Sabin (3:51) with the Angel Wings **
The Outlaw d. Sonny Siaki (2:54) with the Fameasser 3/4*
Harris Brothers d. Buck Quartermain and Lex Lovett (1:28) with the H-Bomb Dud
David Young d. Shark Boy (1:45) with the Spinebuster 1/2*
Apollo d. Lance Hoyt (4:51) with an ace crusher 1/4*
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