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1993 King of the Ring Qualifying Round:; Mr. Perfect vs. Doink The Clown x3
Topic Started: May 25 2005, 08:04 PM (887 Views)
Scrooge McSuck
I'll get you next time, toilet!
[ *  *  * ]
- Pretty random, but since I'll be doing part of a King of the Ring '93 review soon, I just wanted to get a feel for the tournament. I remember doing a really really REALLY shitty review that featured some of these matches, so here's a cleaned up version that just sucks a little bit. So with that out of the way, here we go into the first match...

- Mr. Perfect vs. Doink The Clown:
From the May 1st, 1993 episode of Superstars. The winner of this match faces an unknown pairing of wrestlers in the 1st Round of the Tournament at the PPV. I know who the winner faces, but I still like jerking everyone around. For those weirdos who need to know, Hennig has his orange singlet for this match. Doink attacks Perfect in the entrance with a clothesline, and rams him face first into the ring steps several times. Inside the ring they go, and Doink hammers away on Hennig. Snapmare by Doink, but he misses a knee drop. Perfect with a single leg takedown, and he hammers away at the inside part of Doinks left knee. Sit down splash across the knee follows, followed by a knife-edge chop, sending Doink flying over the top rope. Perfect now rams Doink into the ring steps, and sends him back into the ring for some more working over of the knee. Perfect slaps Doink like he's his bitch, and connects with a headbutt across the midsection. Perfect connects with a super-knee lift, sending Doink out of the ring again, as we go to a Commercial Break. We come back with Perfect laying outside the ring, and Doink comes off the top rope with a double axehandle, shades of Randy Savage. We go to an insert interview with Crush, but no one is there, and Doink pops up... and yeah, that's kinda silly. Back inside the ring we go again, and Doink works over Perfect and connects with a sit-down splash across the lower back. Doink executes a snap suplex, and goes to the top rope and comes off with another double axehandle. Irish whip, and Perfect pummels on Doink with rights. The two exchange blows until Perfect catches Doink with a small package for two. Perfect with a back-slide gets another two count, as does a roll up off the ropes. Perfect connects with a back suplex, and that gets yet another two count. The two exchange blows again, until Perfect goes for the Perfect-Plex, but the bell sounds at 6:39, and apparently it's a Time Limit Draw. Weird... **1/4 Good match, but I remembered this being much better than it actually was. Oh well, it lead to another good match between the two a few weeks later at least.

- Bob Backlund vs. "The Narcissist" Lex Luger:
From the May 2nd, 1993 episode of Wrestling Challenge. Backlund hasn't been doing much since his return to the WWF in November '92, while Luger has been being set for a Main Event push, so one guess who goes over here. Luger's entrance as the Narcissist is the usual 500 hours long, and Backlund must be the only guy in the WWF in 1993 without entrance music. Luger refuses a handshake which leads to a little stalling. Backlund surprises Luger early on, catching him with roll ups, a back slide, and small package for multiple two counts. Backlund with an arm drag followed by several single leg trips. Sunset flip by Backlund gets a two count, which causes Luger to go hide outside the ring. This lasts for about a minute, so I'll take my first piss break. Backlund teases a mounted elbow in the corner, but pays for not doing it as Luger elbows him in the jaw. Luger rakes Backlunds eyes across the top rope, and then takes him down with a delayed scoop slam. Backlund reverses an Irish whip to the corner, and catches Luger coming out with a hip toss and scoop slam. Backlund with a dropkick, followed by a roll up against the ropes for a two count. The force of Lugers kickout sends Backlund to the outside, and when he gets back on the apron, Luger KO's him with the Loaded Forearm, picking up the count-out win at 4:53 and advancing to the Quarter-Finals. * Backlund was game here, but Luger was his usual shitty self. For someone who was such a hot proespect in wrestling in 1986, he sure didn't do shit to improve.

- "El Matador" Tito Santana vs. Razor Ramon:
From the May 8th, 1993 episode of Superstars. One guess who wins this match... Santana is on his way out by this time, and Ramon was still being kinda pushed until his face turn, where he finally got some WWF gold around his waist. Winner of this match faces Bret Hart in the 1st Round of the Tournament, so the result should be even more obvious than usual. Santana does his whole bull fighting shit, so Ramon counters by acting like a bull. HIGH-larious... anyway, Santana starts the match with a go-behind waistlock, but Ramon makes it to the ropes. Ramon catches Santana with an elbow to the mouth, and follows up with a series of stomps and roundhouse rights. Irish whip, and Santana nails the Flying Jalupeņo, but Ramon is in the ropes at a two count. Santana hammers away on Ramon, and works over the arm with a wristlock. Irish whip, and Santana continues working over the arm. Another Irish whip, and this time Ramon catches Santana with the stun gun. Stomps by the Bad Guy, until Santana starts fighting back again. Santana with a series of scoop slams, and he climbs to the top rope. Santana comes off with a cross body press, but Ramon rolls through and hooks the tights for three at 3:19. 3/4* Quite short of a match, and could've been good if given some actual time to develope. Nice to book Ramon like shit though, as he barely got any real offense in a match he should've clearly dominated to have him look like he has a chance in winning the tournament.

- "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Papa Shango:
From the May 9th, 1993 episode of Wrestling Challenge. Quite the weird pairing here, as Duggan was on his way out over the course of the next few months, and Shango had been hanging around USWA a lot since WWF wasn't using him much. Shango attacks from behind in the corner with a sledge and a bunch of rights. Irish whip is reversed, and Duggan nails a clothesline. Shango won't go down after a second, but a third one finally puts him down. Duggan gets a U-S-A chant going while Shango takes a break. Back inside, Duggan with a series of forearms, but Shango comes back with a sledge to the back of the head. Shango smothers Duggan in the corner and takes a bite out of him. Shango with boots in the corner, followed by a big forearm across thr back. Headbutt goes down south of Duggan, and Shango pulls on Duggans nose. Watch out for the snot, Papa. Irish whip, and Shango with a clothesline, then applies a reverse chinlock. This lasts for quite a while. Duggan fights out with a bunch of elbows to the midsection, but runs into a knee lift. Irish whip to the corner (quite weakly) but Shango misses a charge. Duggan with a series of lefts and rights, followed by a back body drop. Big clothesline out of the corner by Duggan and that ends it at 4:38. DUD Yeah, this match was pretty bad, but at least it had a clean finish. Duggan plays with his 2x4 after the match.

- Typhoon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow:
From the May 10th, 1993 episode of Monday Night Raw. I wasn't aware Typhoon was still around, but I guess that makes the result pretty obvious. Lockup and Bigelow applies a standing side headlock, but a shoulder block moves no one. Bigelow repeats the same formula, and with the same result. Typhoon hammers away on Bam Bam anse sends him to the ropes, but a third shoulder block does nothing. Typhoon with a scoop slam on Bigelow, followed by applying a wristlock. Bigelow breaks free with an eye rake. Scoop slam by Bigelow, followed by an elbow drop as I hear a faint "Here We go Bam Bam" chants. Bigelow misses a headbutt, allowing Typhoon to go back to work on the arm. Bigelow escapes with another eye rake, and takes over Typhoon with a back suplex! Typhoon no sels though and clotheslines Bigelow outside of the ring. He's dumb enough to chase, allowing Bigelow to hammer on him on the apron. Typhoon eats ring post and drops back to the floor. Typhoon eats ring post once more as we get some long stalling here. Back inside, and Bigelow kicks Typhoon in the face a few times, followed by applying a reverse chinlock. The crowd is pretty much in favor of Bigelow here, which is unusual for a 1993 crowd, but this is the Manhattan Center, so maybe we got a lot of smart marks. Typhoon escapes with a squash in the corner as we go to a commercial. Irish whip ot the corner, and Typhoon misses a charge. Bigelow picks him up and nails the Samoan Drop (Tatankas finisher) and finishes the job with the top rope headbutt at 5:06. 1/2* for Bigelows super-human strength in several parts of the match. Bigelow will now face Jim Duggan in the Quarter-Finals of the tournament.

- Tatanka vs. Giant Gonzalez (w/ Harvey Wippleman):
Oh Dear God in Heaven... this match is going to suck major amounts of balls. I mean Undertaker v. Undertaker bad. From the May 15th, 1993 episode of Superstars. Tatanka is still undefeated, and Gonzalez sucks. I think we have a challenger to Nailz for "Worst Wrestler in the 1990's". Tatanka was actually doing an angle with Bam Bam Bigelow around this time, where Bigelow cut some of Tanto's hair off, making it a natural combination for the KOTR Tournament. Tatanka dances around, but Gonzalez sends him down with a weak forearm. Gonzalez with another weak blow across the back, followed by choking in the corner. He tosses Tatanka into the corner, and weakly knees him in the midsection. More choking by Gonzalez, and right now I'm actually thinking Tatanka is a good wrestler... damn imagination. Irish whip, and Gonzalez with a big boot. Tatanka fights back with blows to the midsection and kicks to the back of the leg. Tatanka goes to the top rope and comes off with a chop across the top of the head. He goes back up again for another, but Gonzalez catches him coming off a third time with... a stupid chokey thingy. Yeah, it got that from EWR, so sue me. Gonzalez tosses referee Bill Alphonso around, drawing the DQ at 2:59 as Gonzalez chokeslams Tatanka. I'll be nice and just call it a DUD, which is really generous. For a three minute match, this was really bad. Gonzalez manhandles Alphonso, who's job was to take a beating from Gonzalez all the time. Tatanka advances, and will face the Narcissist in the next round.

- Mr. Perfect vs. Doink The Clown:
This is Take II in their on going quest for a spot in the King of the Ring Tournament, and from the May 16th, 1993 episode of Wrestling Challenge. In their previous match, which happend about 40 minutes ago in this review, they wrestled to a very suspicious time limit draw, which was stupid because of two reasons: 1. They never even mentioned a Time Limit for the Qualifying Round, and 2. Who ever heard of a 7 minute time limit? Perfect has switched to his common blue singlet, which has never been very lucky for him. Foreshadowing? Hell no, but I need to say stuff to kill time. Doink heels it up in the aisle, spraying some fat kid with his flower, which results in Perfect beating the piss out of him before the match even starts. Doink gets rammed rather weakly into the ring steps, and the action goes into the ring. Doink with a boot to the midsection, but Perfect catches his second attempt and works over the knee of Doink. Perfect applies a spinning toe hold and a variation of the Indian Deathlock. It took him 3 seconds to apply, while today it takes Triple H 45 seconds. Doink breaks the hold with a rake of the eyes. Irish whip is reversed, and Doink applies a sleeper hold. Perfect breaks it by ramming Doink into the corner, and kicks his leg from under his leg. Perfect rams Doinks leg across the edge of the ring apron, and jerks him from out of the corner. Spinning toe hold applied once again by Hennig. Doink mule kicks Hennig away, but he sweeps the leg from under Doink and applies the Figure Four! At least Hennig has the brains to apply it on the correct leg. Doink makes it to the ropes to break the hold, and sends Perfect spilling outside with a leverage move with the tights. Perfect games rammed into the ring steps, complete with over-sell. Back inside the ring we go, and Doink sends Perfect to the corner. Doink applies a wristlock, and takes him down with a yank of the hair. Doink nails a clothesline, sending Perfect spilling to the outside once again. Hennig finally makes it inside, and walks into a Doink snapmare, followed by an armbar. Doink continues working the arm, which leads into a good old fassion slug-fest, with Doink winning. Perfect won't give up though as we get a bell at 7:01. Perfect continues beating on Doink and catches him in the Perfect-Plex, but we get another lame time limit draw. **1/2 Just as good as the first match, but I'm getting tired of all of these horrible finishes. Perfect wants 5 more minutes, but of course, we don't get that. Doink attacks Perfect from behind, but that gets no sold and we get a chase back to the locker room.

- Crush vs. Shawn Michaels:
From the May 22nd, 1993 episode of Superstars. This is definitely a weird situation... this was taped a couple of weeks after Wrestlemania IX, where Michaels was still the Intercontinental Champion, but lost the title days earlier to Marty Jannetty as a form of punishment. I doubt this match was originally supposed to be a Qualifying Round match, since it was to set up a rematch at King of the Ring, but shit happens, so we have to pretend Michaels doesn't have the IC Title here (which is why his entrance was cut out). Lockup and Michaels fails a slam attempt, so Crush pie faces him into the corner. Lockup #2 goes into the corner, and Michaels with a cheap shot. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, and Crush catches Michaels off the topes with a back breaker. Irish whip is reversed again, but Crush catches Michaels in midair with a bearhug. Michaels rakes the eyes to escape, and does it again for good luck. Irish whip and Crush no sells a clothesline. Crush with a press slam on Michaels, followed by a clothesline that sends Michaels spilling over the top rope and to the floor. Lawler says that should be a DQ for tossing Shawn over the top rope, but this isn't gay Memphis or NWA rules. Crush sends Michaels back into the ring after a little stalling, which doesn't make sense since you cna win by Count-out. Crush misses a charge in the corner, and Michaels follows with a running high knee to the back to send Crush outside. Crush makes friends with both the steel steps and ring post thanks to the help of Shawn Michaels. Back inside the ring, and Michaels applies a reverse chinlock. Crush escapes with a series of elbows to the midsection, then nails a clothesline after blocking the superkick. Irish whip, and Crush with a big boot and leg drop... who is he, Hulk Hogan? Irish whip to the corner and Michaels spills to the outside again. Michaels pulls Crush outside, whch leads into a brawl and Double-Count-Out at 5:25. What is that, like 6 horrible finishes now in these Qualifying Matches? *1/4 It wasn't too bad, but I've seen much better from both. After the match, Crush kills Michaels with a tilt-o-whril back breaker and applies the Cranium Crunch (a.k.a the stupid head vice thing).

- Kamala vs. Mr. Hughes (w/ Harvey Wippleman):
From the May 23rd, 1993 episode of Wrestling Challenge, and this might be worse than a Giant Gonzalez match! Kamala doesn't have the Reverend Slick with him in his corner, which means either Slick was removed for TV or given the axe. We still don't have one match set in the brackets for the Quarter-Finals, which will be determined by the next couple of matches. Hughes attacks Kamala from begind with a series of sledge attacks and rights in the corner. Irish whip to the corner, but Hughes misses a charge. Kamala hammers away with chops and kicks, but Hughes stops that with an eye rake. Hughes with some stomps near the ropes, followed by choking, a requirement when your manager is Harvey Wippleman. Kamala comes back again, which ends with another Hughes eye rake. Irish whip, and Hughes with a dropkick! Hughes follows with a second, followed by more punching. Kamala starts no selling and hammers on Hughes with chops and a crescent kick. Kamala nails the big splash, but he pins him wrong. Kim Chee returns, which leads to Kamala going outside the ring after him, and beats him down in the aisle, which leads to him being counted out at 2:43. DUD Well that sucked... Kamala then clears the ring of Hughes and almost gets his hands on Wippleman. Mr. Hughes will face the winner of the next and final Qualifying Round Match.

- Mr. Perfect vs. Doink The Clown:
The final Qualifying Match, and from the May 24th, 1993 episode of Monday Night Raw. After two silly Time Limit Draws, we'll finally have a winner to advance into the final position in the Tournament. Outside the arena, Lord Alfred Hayes (he's still around!?) interviews Doink, but Doink was just in the ring... I love the magic of taping interviews. Perfect has his evil black singlet, so maybe that will mean something. Doink ambushes Perfect before the bell and chokes him down with his own towel. Doink snapmares him out of the corner via the towel, then wipes himself down with it. Perfect nails him in the midsection with rights then clotheslines him with the towel. Perfect with punches and chops, and this leads into a slug-fest. Perfect with a single leg trip followed by a knee across the leg of Doink. Perfect applies a spinning toe hold and kicks him on the inside part of the knee. Perfect rams Doinks left leg into the ring post as we go to a commercial break. We come back with Doink knocking Perfect off the apron with a forearm. Back inside, and Doink applies a wristlock and turns it into a firemans carry, but Perfect applies a head scissors. Doink breaks free of the head scissors and steps on Perfects head near the ropes. Doink applies a wristlock and takes him down into a cross armbar. He's about 1 step away from applying the crossface. Perfect breaks free however, and kicks him in the leg, and tries hyper-extending the muscles. Perfect with a big chop, and he turns it into a modified Indian Deathlock for multiple two counts. Doink pokes him in the eyes to escape and sends Perfect outside with some biting. Doink sends Perfect into the ring post, but he takes him down with a waistlock and kicks him in the leg. Doink won't let up though, and wraps the wrist of Hennig's around the ring post. Back inside the ring, and Doink with some choking in the ropes, followed by a modified hammerlock. Doink with a hammerlock slam, but takes too long to cover, and only gets two as we go to a commercial. We come back with Hennig connecting with an atomic drop followed by a big clothesline. Doink uses the tights to send Perfect into the turnbuckle. Irish whip, and Perfect clotheslines Doink outside. Out comes a second Doink, who crawls under the ring, and then we get the mid-match substitution behind the referee's back. The only problem is the real Doink had most of his makeup wiped off, while this one has a fresh paint job. I guess the referee is really stupid. Back inside the ring, and the fresh Doink hammers away on Perfect with ease. Irish whip ot the corner, and Doink takes him down with a Monkey Flip. Irish whip, but Perfect catches him with the Perfect-Plex at 9:55 to advance to the next round. Afterwards, the two Doinks work over Perfect until Crush makes the save. *** This was like a combination of the previous two matches, except they were able to take their time instead of rushing things, which lead to a much better match. Perfect will now face Mr. Hughes in the Quarter-Finals.

Final Thoughts: I think it's safe to say that 1993 wasn't the best year in terms of workrate. You had horrible shit in the form of people like Hughes and Gonzalez, and the great wrestlers were few and far between. However, overall this is an enjoyable bunch of matches to kill time, but if you're not someone like me who needs them all, it's not worth tracking down these matches.
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Mad Dog
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ho ho who the hell are you?
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Nice. This will be helpful for when I start working on my part of the review today.
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The S.S. Nintendo
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I have all these matches on tape, with the exception of Typhoon/Bigelow. Never understood why they didn't replay it on WWF Mania.
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Scrooge McSuck
I'll get you next time, toilet!
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Mad Dog,May 26 2005
08:23 AM
Nice. This will be helpful for when I start working on my part of the review today.

Good... I'm a little lazy, but I've got the first two matches of my part, and still have to write up my opinions on matches that you're covering. (watches Hennig/Hart again) So... awesome...
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Mad Dog
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ho ho who the hell are you?
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I've only got Luger/Tatanka and Heenig/Hart again, plus doing ratings for your half of the show.
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Scrooge McSuck
I'll get you next time, toilet!
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I have mine all done except for Hennig/Hart, which is about 12:00 into the match.
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