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WWE WrestleMania 22: The WM Eddie "WANTED"
Topic Started: Mar 26 2014, 08:23 PM (555 Views)
Scrooge McSuck
I'll get you next time, toilet!
[ *  *  * ]
(In length, I kind of went into more detail than anticipated, but it's rough notes and bitching, and something I still wouldn't send for Da' Site)


WrestleMania 22: Another One I Didn't See

Over the last couple of months, I've caught up on WrestleMania's. 23, 25, and 26 down, 22, 24, 27, and 29 to go. I figured I will watch 29 last. One of the official theme songs (and tagline for the show!) is Peter Gabriel's Big Time (released back in 1986, but probably considered a fresh song for Vince McMahon, at the time). Available only on the DVD is a Pre-PPV Battle Royale. Couldn't remember who the Smackdown Tag Champs were until I looked it up... it's MNM. Can't tell you who they won 'em from or who they lost 'em to. Probably a random, thrown together team... was it London and Kendrick?



Raw Tag Titles: Kane & Big Show vs. Carlito & Chris Masters - Kane and Big Show won the straps at Taboo Tuesday, teaming up because they lost the fan vote for a title match (Kane had a surprisingly high vote tally, compared to Show, who had considerably less). That's almost 6 MONTHS as mismatched partners who hated each other, but now respect each other. Short and action packed, hiding the limitations of most involved. Heck, Kane busts out a leap frog, a dropkick, AND a clothesline from the top rope to the floor, so you know it's WrestleMania! Kane and Show retain. J.R. sheepishly asks "what two-man combination can beat them." Answer: None. a 5-man group known as the Spirit Squad won them the next night. (**)



Money in the Bank; '06 Edition: Participants are Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin (IC Champion, without Mama Benjamin... don't ask), Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Finlay, and Ric Flair. I was curious where CM Punk was, then realized the ECW revival wasnt until that Summer (Sad face). Benjamin with his annual "holy shit" moment, running up the Ladder, setting up for a suicide senton to a pile of Superstars on the floor. Matt Hardy's super-plex from the Ladder on Flair knocks the latter (har har...) out of the match (briefly. He has alimony to pay to 8 ex-wives, you know). RVD does a frog splash from the top of the ladder onto Finlay in another "holy shit" spot. It's not the best MITB Match, but it's pretty fun, and very short. Finish sees RVD dump Benjamin and Hardy to the floor to claim the briefcase. RVD would famously cash in early to set-up the main event at One Night Stand II. (***1/2)



Hall of Fame Class of 2006: Mean Gene, Sensational Sherri (sad face), Saba Simba, Verne Gagne, William "The Refrigerator" Perry, The Blackjacks (it's amazing how all the Windham's look alike), Eddie Guerrero (sad face), and of course, Bret Hart, who didn't want to appear for reasons I forget. Probably didn't feel comfortable on a standard WWE production, in comparison to the Hall of Fame ceremony.



US Title: Chris Benoit vs. JBL - Couldn't tell you a thing about how this match came to be. Did JBL really need Jillian Hall as a valet? It's not like he needed a mouth-piece, and Jillian Hall isn't some legendary manager who gives people a rub by association (see: Sherri and Dibiase). Just another pair of fake tits to trot out there because the man in charge of the production truck is an ugly nerd. Lots of hard hitting offense, which I would expect from the two. Not a whole lot of story-telling, though. Benoit hits his signature spots, and JBL controls with his brawling. Benoit does the Three Amigo's, because I'm thinking now they are fighting over disrespecting Eddie's legacy... God DAMN did I hate WWE in 2006. Check my old SNME recap from a few weeks before this PPV. Finish seems out of nowhere, with Benoit going for the Crossface, but Bradshaw rolling over and hooknig the ropes for the win and the title. (**1/2)



Mick Foley vs. Edge - I honestly do not remember any of the stuff that the hype video is referencing in regards to the build up. I mentioned in my Backlash '04 recap about Orton being the last man Foley made... and I stand by it. Edge was already well on his way to the top of the card years before, and already had at least one World Title reign under his belt. He didn't need to be made, he was already there. Points to Lita for riding along with the Cactus Clothesline spot. I liked how they have their own weapons hidden under the stairs, including the baseball wrapped in barb wire and the sack of tacks. Edge takes the manly bump onto the pile, but it seemed to come too soon. Should've built up the spot rather than going right for it. Both men blade, and even Lita shows color, real or fake, to sell a barbed wire Mandible Claw. They light up a table at ringside (!!!!), and Edge spears Foley off the apron, into the flames! OH MY GOD INDEED, Joey Styles. You'll NEVER see that again on live WWE television! It's good enough for the win, and justifiably so. Great brawl, and for once Foley gets a shining performance without playing second banana at WrestleMania. In the following months, Foley turned heel to join forces with Edge, including an AWESOME brawl against Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer (as well as Lita and Beaulah's involvement) at One Night Stand. (****)



- Backstage Shenanigans! Does ANYONE remember Paul Birchill, PIRATE? Ted Dibiase kicks a ball away from Eugene in a nod to that awesome segment from back in the day. Snitsky is sucking on Mae Young's toes. UGH. Booker T: "It's like we are in the Twilight Zone." Booker says "excuse me, ma'am", and it's former running buddy Goldust. In drag. Offering to help guide Booker in his battle with the freak, The Boogeyman. Surprisingly cute and entertaining.



Boogeyman vs. Booker T & Sharmell - Poor Booker. I'm all for goofy gimmicks, but this is WrestleMania. Boogeyman is from "The Bottomless Pit." That's right up there with some early 90's WCW Hometowns. I still say Brad Armstrong should've been from Candy-Land. Booker controls most of the match, then Mr. Boogey starts no-selling. He eats worms and kisses Sharmell with a mouthful. Booker misses a charge, and a double chokeslam finishes. Was there a long-term point to the Boogeyman? Match sucked and the crowd didn't give a shit. (DUD)



Women's Title: Trish vs. Mickie James - Despite a clear-cut face and heel situation, the Chicago crowd is mostly pro-Mickie. UNFORTUNATELY, the WWE editing department cut out one of the most memorable moments of the night: a very crude gesture made by Mickie James as she countered the corner hurricanrana. I think we all know what it was, and unless you have the PPV broadcast, you won't be seeing it again. They don't cut away from the crotch grab, but it feels hollow without the other spot. Mickie targets the left knee for the majority of the match. It's always nice to see a match where the combatents seem to be fighting because they want to make the other person suffer. Probably the best Diva's Match of the time, except for one major malfunction: The finish. They seem to blow a spot following the Chick Kick, then Mickie gets up and casually (and kinda weakly) hits her version (the Mick Chick) for the win and Diva's Title. Something that I was thinking about, mostly because as a perv, I tend to pay a lot of attention... did WWE put Mickie out there in these skimpy outfits to "shame" her for not being as skinny as a broomstick? Considering the "Piggy James" angle, I wouldn't have put it past them. (***)



Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry - Did anyone think Henry was winning, right as they were getting into hyping "the streak" as a yearly bit of intrigue? I do remember fear of Henry going over, just because we the IWC tend to over-react at times, but still... This was probably the last "bad" Undertaker match at WrestleMania. I would rather watch the Rumble '94 Casket Match, complete with 10 men running in and the post-match bullshit. At least that's entertaining crap. This is just slow and dull, but 'Taker does bust out a couple of spots to pick things up a bit. Undertaker improves to 14-0, but to be fair, there's a lot of padding in that, much like any "undefeated" record in sports of considerable lengths. (*1/2)



Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. McMahon - The origins of the match... rehashing the god damn Montreal Screwjob. It wouldn't be until Backlash where GOD was dragged into things to further this angle. Michaels murders Vince, so here's the Spirit Squad for the annoying run in. Remember when KENNY was supposed to be the breakout star? Sure, the name Dolph Ziggler sounds lame, but he made a career for himself (until the Summer of '13). Despite the interference of the Squad and Shane McMahon, it's still mostly a squash for Shawn, as he takes his sweet time punishing McMahon, culminated with a flying elbow through a table. Unfortunately, this feud with the McMahon's and Spirit Squad dragged on, including a face turn for Triple H, and reviving D-Generation X. It's too bad Marty Jannetty fucked up (what, surprised?), otherwise HE might've had a career resurgence along the way. (**1/2)



- I miss Shane McMahon... yes, I just said that.



SD Title Match: Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio - Let's set the stage: Kurt Angle is the Champ, having won a Battle Royale due to Batista's untimely injury and being forced to vacate the title. Rey, on behalf of the memory of Eddie, promised to win the Rumble, and despite being the #2 draw, he won the match to earn a title shot at 'Mania. Insert Randy Orton, taunting Rey into putting his title shot on the line... and Rey LOST. Only out of pity, GM Theodore Long put Rey back in the match, but Orton will still be involved. Moral of the story: You will be rewarded, even in losing. So now it's match time, and guess what: The crowd BOOS REY MYSTERIO. Or maybe they are boo'ing the entire stupid angle and the constant mockery of Eddie Guerrero's name. "Eddie would've wanted it to happen" my ASS. It's bad enough a match with high expectations is rushed through in less than 10-minutes, and the "culminating" story of Rey going over is seen as nothing more than a fluke. On top of that, Rey's reign was tarnished with poor booking decisions and constant losses on a near-weekly basis. As a match, it's good, if unspectacular, but what is spectacular is the complete lack of common sense and over-whelming insensitivity to a person that everyone claimed to love and care about so much. Thank you Chicago for doing what had to be done, and boo'ing Rey harder than anyone else on the show. (**)



Playboy Pillow Fight: Really, more filler?! It's between Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle, and it's a waste of 5-minutes. Points for putting as many people on the show as possible, taken away for trotting these women out there as noting more than clown-punching material for 12 year olds, Kevin Dunn, and John Laurinitus. No Rating, but it's something that makes me glad we're in the PG Era. I'm more embarrassed by shit like this than anything WWE puts on TV these days. (N/R)



Real WWE Title: John Cena vs. Triple H - Is Chicago another stop in "Bizzaro World" for WWE? Judging by the crowd reaction, they don't really care for Cena. Cena's entrance is the infamous "1920's Gangsters" entourage that includes CM Punk as one of his hencemen. I'm pretty sure Colt Cobana is in there, too, but nobody gives a shit about him. Triple H comes out as Conan the Barbarian. Ooooo-kay? Both men were key in the Main Event(s) of WM 21, and both matches kinda sucked. Good to see they found a formula with each other to deliver a pretty good finale to what has been a hit and miss show. When Triple H is involved, you never know who's winning (bitter... smart-ass... remarks... resist), but John Cena NEEDED the win, and at the time, this turned out to be his biggest victory. It's funny how he's been a mixed-feelings kind of guy with live crowds, and yet here we are, 8 YEARS later, and they're still rolling with it with him as a smiling babyface. Even Hogan had to turn heel eventually, dammit. (***1/2)


Final Thoughts: Mixed feelings for this one. It's not a horrible show, but it brings back a lot of bitter memories and why I decided to start giving up on the product. The Main Event is pretty good, but far from memorable with the exception of the entrances. MITB was done better before and after, Vince McMahon has done better "ass-kicked brawls" at 'Mania, and the undercard is a little too crowded. Other than Edge/Foley, nothing else shines. We have the SD Title Match cut down to 9 minutes to accommodate a second Diva's Match, a stupid, degrading PILLOW FIGHT, then you have the Boogeyman punking out Booker T, and a mediocre clash over the US Title. Very little is outright bad, but it feels like it could've been so much better. When the most memorable angle going in and going out is exploiting the name of Eddie Guerrero, you fucked up your biggest show of the year.
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