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WrestleMania 24: Show me the Money
Topic Started: Mar 27 2014, 01:50 PM (700 Views)
Scrooge McSuck
I'll get you next time, toilet!
[ *  *  * ]
Finlay vs. JBL - Thanks to a video recap, I guess JBL beat the shit out of Hornswoggle for faking being Vince McMahon's son... remember that? Yeah, that was one that KEPT me away after giving up on the product back in June '07. This is a "Belfast Brawl", which is fancy talk for "Hardcore." Fun brawl, and as I mentioned for JBL/Benoit at WM 22, it's got some hard hitting offense I expected from the pair involved. Nothing to really brag about, it's a good opener, but forgetable an hour later. JBL won with the Clothesline From Heck. **1/2


MITB '08 Edition - Participants this time 'round include previous year winner Mr. Kennedy, previous year goat CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin (ripping off the Natural Butch Reed, apparently), John Morrison, MVP, Chris Jericho, and Carlito. I remember channel surfing and landing on USA Network in time for Jericho's big return, and then being bored by "same old, same old" babyface Jericho. I did like the "saveus" code. Morrison busts out a moonsault, with ladder in hand. How the FUCK did that work?! Shelton gets taken out of the match doing the "land on top of and break the ladder" spot that Jeff Hardy and Edge did at Mania 23. Matt Hardy makes a surprise return to take MVP out of action as he's about to get the briefcase. Carlito's back stabber spot from the Ladder always kicks ass. Punk wins, causing the IWC to soil themselves in the process. ***1/2


Batista vs. Umaga - It's a Raw vs. Smackdown Match, just for the hell of it, I guess. This one sucked, and the ending was botched, too, with Batista falling on his arse doing a Batista-Bomb. I'm very surprised to see Batista this far down the ladder in terms of match importance. It's like Triple H vs. Sheamus at WM 26. What the heck happened to shuttle him that far away from a significant program? 1/2*


ECW Title: Chavo © vs. Kane - Kane won a Pre-PPV Battle Royale to earn the title shot, and wins by sneaking up on Chavo and chokeslamming him in under 10-seconds. If only I were 10 years younger, I would troll message boards about how Kane is and always will be the greatest ECW Champion of all time. Not even worth rating, for obvious reasons.


Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair - I've seen this match countless times on one of the Ric Flair DVD sets, and it's a pretty good match with a much better story: Shawn is winning, and everyone knew it, but he lets his guard down and let's his heart get in the way, prolonging the inevitable. Watching them fail at the standard "Bridge and back suplex" spot was kind of depressing. It's unfortunate Flair's financial problems have forced him to continue working, as this was a hell of a send off on one of the most spectacular stages anyone could've asked for. Not an all-time classic performance from a technical stance, but it did it's job and felt like it belonged to mentioned in the same category as a memorable WrestleMania moment. ***1/2


- I skipped the Diva's crap. I've put up with enough of it over the years to never watch any of these crappy matches, again.


WWE Title: Randy Orton © v. HHH v. John Cena - Spectacular entrance of the Year for Cena: Drumline of his theme song. Simple yet effective. Cena won the Rumble in one of the greatest surprise moments in Rumble PPV History, and HHH... uh... don't know. Pretty good for all involved, but far below some of the other Triple Threat matches over the years (involving certain people we're not allowed to reference). I'm very surprised, having no knowledge of the winner of this match,by the ending. It kind of came out of nowhere, in an era when kicking out of finishers was required for at least 10-minutes before the big finish. ***


Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather - I have no idea what was going on with this. The video package made it out like Big Show was a big bully, but then it's match time, and they play up Mayweather as an arrogant prick and Big Show a straight-up babyface. WWE's obsession with celebrities and guest hosts and begging to be socially relevant outside of the wrestling "universe" was definitely in full effect during my absence from the product, and I am GLAD for it, because I probably would've given up anyway having to endure Guests Hosts on Monday Night Raw every week. Considering it's a spectacle involving someone outside of wrestling, its not bad, but it's hard to get into when you honestly can't figure out who we're supposed to like. Personally, I really dislike Big Show, and Mayweather is a natural douchebag and should've been the heel, except they're hyping DAVID vs. GOLIATH, AND GOLIATH NEVER TURNED FACE. **


World Title: Edge © vs. Undertaker - I'll be honest... reading the card before the PPV took place, I would've put money on 'Taker doing the job. This would mark the last time I would give anyone other than Taker my official pick for winning, although I was a bit concerned when Taker/HHH III was made with Shawn as the Special Referee. Takes a bit to get going, but they build up from a solid formula to some hot near falls and counters towards the end, culminating in 'Taker closing the show with another World Championship victory and improving the streak to 16-0. Random note, just because: Weird to hear Jonathon Coachman calling the Main Event of WM. On another note, I'm glad to see Coach getting regular air-time on ESPN. He always had a good voice for that sort of work. Todd Grisham, on the other hand, no. How the fuck did that happen? Oh, the match... uh... call it **** as I question my man-crushing on Coach all of a sudden.


Final Thoughts: Excellent Main Event and a pretty cool spotfest highlight the show. Shawn and Flair is good as well, but too depressing, especially watching Flair celebrating his career at ringside with his family (including the recently deceased Reid). The WWE Title 3-Way is ho-hum and everything else is either forgetable or head-scratching to digest. It's definitely not one of the low-tier WrestleMania's, but I didn't have much fun watching it.
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