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| 3 July 2010 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 26 2010, 07:32 PM (204 Views) | |
| Blair Falcon | Aug 26 2010, 07:32 PM Post #1 |
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Queen Bitch
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[align=center]CAST Ordskaer Eve Evryn Eyse Epiphany Trebuchet Sherwqa Hatman SETTING Ordskaer’s bathroom. COUNTER has two sinks, and is big enough that two people can sit comfortably in the space between them. TOILET is black, with fluffy pink covering. BATHTUB is big enough for four people to sit in comfortably. Saturday, July 03 2010, 1:00 PM ORDSKAER is in the bath. EVY and EPIPHANY are sitting on the counter [enter DREPANON] ORDSKAER looks up, startled. EPIPHANY Yan't coo knock? DREPANON I thought Evryn would announce my presence EVRYN Dreadfully sorry, but that doesn't fall under my job description as commentary DREPANON Is it true that my bride is dead? ORDSKAER That’s a question with a difficult answer. As you can see, the spirit is gone, but the body remains, with I, Ordskaer Eve, as its new inhabitant. Please don’t see fit to end your life, though I’ve learned from my studies that it’s part of your culture. Perhaps I can serve, not as a replacement for your departed bride, but as a place-filler. DREPANON is astonished Who told you that I’d kill myself if my bride was dead? EPIPHANY It sas a wocial experiment! Uh. . . I mean. . . EVRYN After the show's done, would you like me to give you Corri's address so you can perform your social experiments on more appropriate candidates? EPIPHANY I tras wying to avoid bample sias. EVRYN ...What does performing experiments on a sociopath who serves no benefit to humanity have to do with sample bias? EPIPHANY winks /Social/ experiments. Naid sothing about /other/ experiments. EVRYN Valid point. [slow grin] Would you agree that social experiments can also be performed on prisoners and homeless people? EPIPHANY Thepends on de experiment. EVRYN stifles a laugh Let us make a to-do list of experiments after this episode is over. Then when it comes time to... end the series... we can cross them off one by one as we perform them on the remaining players in the series. Or we can see if we can get away with dedicating a side episode to performing them on random people. What do you say? EPIPHANY nods emphatically DREPANON What has become of the others? ORDSKAER I don’t know what’s happened with Orion [pronounced correctly], but Akuma is… safe. The real Akuma is, at any rate. She’s here, with me. The trouble is, sir, that Corri won’t believe in Canelle’s death. DREPANON, angrily Who cares what that girl thinks?! ORDSKAER giggles An admirable attitude to take. But if she were running this show, she’d proceed as though Canelle were still living inside of this body. [frowns thoughtfully] Drepanon… I don’t believe in you-- the other you-- so will you tell me truly, who are you? DREPANON sighs, sits down on toilet I wanted someone to tell my story, so I went to a writer and asked her to act as my conduit. I didn’t know she’d get everything wrong. According to her, I am the brother of Voracio Falcon and the uncle of the Drakoste demi-god Illybrius. I’m just someone who wanted to tell the story of my life and ended up trusting the wrong person. ORDSKAER What is the story of your life? DREPANON I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t think we know each other well enough yet. How can I be sure that I can trust you? ORDSKAER pauses thoughtfully I don’t think you can be sure of something like that, but we don’t have to have this conversation now. I just want to know, Drepanon, if you’ll accept my offer to act as your filler bride? If I act dishonorably towards you, you can of course divorce me at any time, even have me killed. I’d deserve it. DREPANON blinks How candid you are, or at least, how candid you seem! I will accept your offer, but please, call me Evan. ORDSKAER I think I like that name much better. It’s so much less pretentious. What last name would you take, or are you content with Falcon? I am not a true Falcon. I was taken in by someone calling himself Voracio Falcon, but he was not as he seemed. ORDSKAER That wasn’t his name? EVAN hesitates If it was, he was not the Voracio Falcon from whose loins sprang the Drakoste demi-god you know as Illybrius. ORDSKAER Faux-racio Faux-con, then? EVAN I would call him Foe-con [subtitles: Foe-Con], because he is my foe and he has conned me. I would call myself Faux-kin [subtitles: Faux-Kin], because I am not truly his kin. ORDSKAER That passes as clever for this show. I congratulate you, Evan Faux-Kin. Though, as I think about it, I don’t think you’ll get far with that surname. EVAN Evan Noekin. I will spell it N-O-E-K-I-N to make it look less literal. ORDSKAER laughs That works much better, yes. EVAN That would make the others truly Foe-Cons and Faux-Kins. EPIPHANY I think this monversation cight make sore mense if it ras ditten wown. EVRYN That's why the gods gave us subtitles, Piff. Besides, it made sense in the script... ORDSKAER If you want my opinion, Corri would be the Foe-Con, and the rest are just Faux-Kins. For all you know, Faux-Racio could have been an agent of hers all along, or maybe even her in a male disguise. But let’s not get caught up in semantics right now. I like the name Evan. How did you come across it? EVAN It was my true name, before Corri decided to get fancy with the name of a Greek city. ORDSKAER By “fancy,” do you mean “pretentious”? EVAN Yes. By the way, you should know that in this show, Illybrius’s male widow -- EPIPHANY “Widower.” It's “widower”. EVAN So it is! Well, Illybrius's /widower/ is known as O-ree-on. ORDSKAER I knew that, but it was dissonant with the spelling and it bothered me. Now let us review the facts. Canelle and Illybrius are dead. The other Akuma, Lily, is imprisoned somewhere, but we don’t know where. The original Akuma, Meg, is safe here with me. Corri is my predecessor’s enemy and won’t believe that I am not her; therefore, Corri is my enemy as well. The Drakoste apocalypse started on the 25th of April of this year, the day Fennel was born. A spirit known as Asiy was taking care of her, but last month, she was brought to me by a strange woman who calls herself Labi [pronounced Lobby] Dove. She brought another baby, a younger one, named Doriane, and I have been caring for them both. EPIPHANY Boly exposition, Hatman! EVRYN True, but at least now the audience has a better idea of what's going on. If Corri won't be candid and is in fact no longer part of this team, which she won't and she isn't, it's up to us to be honest with the audience. Besides, I've never had a high tolerance for mysterious plot twists. [enter SHERWQA, who is now a hat-maker] SHERWQA Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear. Did someone want me to exhibit my bowler hats? EVRYN Not quite yet, Hat-man. You can go back to your cellar. SHERWQA Any time you need a hat, Miss Evy, say the word. EVRYN We'll keep that in mind. [/SHERWQA] ORDSKAER I wonder how many inhabitants of Celestia will be trying to make their way here? EVAN That depends. Did Canelle ever lift the barrier between this world and hers? ORDSKAER I don’t know if I’ve gotten that far yet, but she did develop xenophobia rather quickly after Lily started trying to butt into Celestia’s affairs. But enough of that. I welcome you, Evan Noekin, into my heart and home! EVAN Thank you. You’ve been most kind. ORDSKAER I can’t think of anything else to say. EVAN Neither can I. Shall we ad-lib? ORDSKAER We could do that. Or we could fade to black and remind everyone that if they want to see anything happen in this show, they should email the author at blaireau77@aol.com. [subtitle: blaireau77@aol.com] [/align] |
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4:38 PM Jul 10