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14 November 09, 7.02 PM
Topic Started: Jan 22 2012, 01:34 AM (213 Views)
Blair Falcon
Member Avatar
Queen Bitch
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
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CAST
Kibby X
Usagi den Huisdier
Orion Enzeru
Evryn Eyse
Gany Gaweigh
Illybrius Falcon

Fri, Nov 14, 2009; 7.02 PM

EPIPHANY is shuffling after KIBBY with a scalpel until Kibby's exit.

KIBBY
Master bunny. Want talk to pack mate.

USAGI
Unavailable.

KIBBY
No, you want to talk to me, pack mate.

EPIPHANY
No.

USAGI
Ok.

EPIPHANY
Yam do!

KIBBY
Kuma. You want Kuma.

USAGI
Yes.

EPIPHANY
No!

KIBBY
I get demon for you to make words.

EPIPHANY
Bet gack here and met lee yab stoo.

USAGI smiles.
I was about to sit down for dinner.

KIBBY
You eat meat-meat.

USAGI
No. I eat plants.

KIBBY
Nuk. Meat-meat good.

USAGI
Meat makes me ill.

KIBBY
Need sweet sticks, make better.

EPIPHANY
Por yortrayal is offensive in mo wany says!
Yurrender smor sokes and I kon't will you.

EVRYN
You smoke?

EPIPHANY
Bo, nut I go a ny troo'll hade them sor fum incense.


USAGI
I like plants better.

KIBBY
Sweet stick green-green.

USAGI
Okay.

KIBBY throws a pack of cigarettes at Epiphany
Demon here.

USAGI
Okay.

[exit KIBBY, enter ORION]

EPIPHANY picks up pack of cigarettes, pockets them with a grin, and shuffles back to her seat over the next few lines.

ORION
Rabbit.

USAGI
Yes.

ORION
Akuma is with me and Kibby. She’s safe.

USAGI
That’s good. Illybrius closed off his bond with her?

EPIPHANY
Good.


EPIPHANY sits down


ORION
Yeah. But her energy has changed, so it might be accidental.

EPIPHANY
[Not quite as good.]

USAGI
Okay.

ORION
And there is also the other problem.

USAGI
Which is?

EPIPHANY
[Onion's face.]

ORION
She has something in her that’s dark and she has been blinded.

USAGI
Is that why she’s not talking to Corri or anyone?

ORION
Don’t know. She’s only talking to Kibby.

EPIPHANY
[Why Kibby?]
[He serves no narrative purpose whatsoever.]
[Anything he says could have been said more clearly by someone else]
[With absolutely no loss to the story.]

EVRYN
Because Kibby saved her life that one time.

USAGI
Oh, okay.

ORION
Sorry, I don’t speak growls.

EPIPHANY
Grarrrrrr soooooouuuuu yuuuuuck rarrrrrrr.

ORION
I heard that!

EPIPHANY
[I thought you didn't speak growls]
[Are you a liar-liar pants-on-fire?]

EPIPHANY flicks lighter
[Think about your answer carefully.]

USAGI
Thanks for the info.

ORION
Yeah. She’s waiting on Illybrius and as soon as she talks to him, I’m leaving.

EPIPHANY
[Quick, somebody get Berserker in here.]

USAGI
Good luck with that. He’s having a midlife crisis.

ORION
I know. All the better for me not to be here so I don’t fuck things up again.

USAGI
Who’re you?

ORION
You fucked me and forgot me that quick?

USAGI
You didn’t exactly introduce yourself. All Kibby said was “demon here.”

ORION
How many pyric demons do you know, bunny-love?

EVRYN
/Priapic!/

USAGI
He didn’t say what /kind/ of demon, jeez.

ORION
Fine, then. How many demons have you fucked, then?

EPIPHANY
[You make the assumption then that he's fucked all the demons he knows?]


USAGI
Well, Illybrius is half-demon.

ORION
Only half. He doesn’t count.

EPIPHANY
[Don't get testy just because we're poking holes in your stupid question.]

USAGI
And I suspect Gany is, too.

[enter GANY]

GANY
Maybe, but you don’t sleep with me.

ORION
And Gany is?

GANY
Me.

ORION
Look, I’m hungry and I’m tired. I would rather not play games unless they are in my bed.

EPIPHANY
[Introducing himself is playing games now?]

GANY
The annoying girl and I are working on getting Illybrius to start giving a damn again. We’ve got him to a halfway point, so he could probably talk to you, but might not be safe to let him talk to Akuma.

ORION
And why not?

GANY
Cuz he’s an insensitive prick who’d probably drive her to do something dumb.

ORION
I doubt anything he could say would hurt her.

EPIPHANY
[You don't know him very well, do you?]

GANY
I wouldn’t bet money on it.

ORION
I wouldn’t. She’s changed.

GANY
So I gather.

ORION
She’s down at the beach now, at the graves.

GANY
And you didn’t exactly fuck things up. That was Drake’s fault he got upset.

ORION
I know that, but what I did afterwards doesn’t make things better.

EPIPHANY
[Translation: Shut up and let me allocate blame as Corri demands, dammit.]

GANY
What, the dramatic exit?

ORION
I was dealing with the aftereffect of the spell. By the time I realized what Drake did, you guys were gone.

EPIPHANY
[Akuma's inability to be truly at fault for something is rubbing off on you.]

EVRYN
Well, they ARE both written by Corri.

EPIPHANY
[True. She seems to either really like having her favourite characters wrongly blamed, or just really likes having her favourite characters blamed, but can't stand the thought of them being imperfect enough to do something wrong.]

GANY
Yeah, cuz we can only be here till 10.30 and you or he just left. It was 10.25 so he figured you wouldn’t be back.

ORION
I came back. But by that time… Fuck, I can’t do this. I’m getting my orb and going home.

[exit GANY]

USAGI
No you’re not. You wanna talk to him?

ORION
There is nothing to be said.

USAGI
Oreo, damn you, he’s getting better by the hour.

ORION
Good for you. I’ll be gone in the next.

USAGI
Do you still care for him?

EPIPHANY
[Why are you trying to get him to stay? He annoys me.]

ORION
Yes, but you were right, Rabbit. You proved yourself right. Be happy, okay?

[exit USAGI, enter ILLYBRIUS]

ILLYBRIUS
Hi.

ORION
Hi.

ILLYBRIUS
He didn’t say it was you.

ORION
I know.

ILLYBRIUS
You’re nice. I like you.

EPIPHANY
[Are you kidding? Onion's a whiny jerk.]

ORION
I’m happy to know.

ILLYBRIUS
I thought you hated me after what Drake said.

ORION
I wasn’t even in the room. I began to bleed heavily and ran into the bathroom.

EVRYN
You got your period?

ILLYBRIUS
He said… he made it look like I didn’t care about anyone but me.

ORION
He was upset about his sister and took it out on you. He was looking to hurt you, and he did.

ILLYBRIUS
I was crying. My heart ruptured.

EPIPHANY
[Do you have backups, or have you joined the ranks of the previously-living?]

ILLYBRIUS
Maheone-- he was-- he healed me. He told me it was the two of us against the universe and I thought, “What the hell. What’s the harm in going back if nobody wants me?”

ORION
I see.

ILLYBRIUS
I didn’t think anyone did.

EVRYN
The world according to Illybrius: Everyone is blind.

EPIPHANY
[That explains so much.]

ILLYBRIUS
I’m sick of proving people wrong, so what was the harm in proving them right? Only, I do care about you.

ORION
I know you do, but this just proves Usagi was right.

EPIPHANY
[Translation: I know you do, but I have a wangst quota to meet.]

ILLYBRIUS
About what?

ORION
That one day I would break your heart.

[CUE SOUND: Rimshot, canned laughter.]

ILLYBRIUS
It wasn’t you. It was a whole mess of things. I thought nobody wanted me here. All the rest got resolved.

ORION
I was so angry when I found out what he did that I flew into a rage and beat and raped him, and then locked him in the back of my mind. I betrayed you by taking up with another, and for that, there is no forgiveness.

EVRYN
You’ve never heard of a little thing called “couple’s therapy,” have you?

EPIPHANY
[Remind me to never, EVER be alone in a room with Onion.]

ILLYBRIUS
He deserved it, though. Look, you didn’t betray me. I get hurt and upset when you want to feed from someone else, but that’s just-- I mean, I want to know how I can satisfy you.

ORION
I went and got my oni orb this morning.

EPIPHANY
[WATCH OUT, HE'S GOT A BALL FULL OF TECHNICOLOR OGRES!]

ILLYBRIUS
Usagi told me.

ORION
It will make it so I don’t need to feed every two days and bump it to five again.

EPIPHANY
[Why did you do whatever with it that made you hungry more often?]

EVRYN
He has an angst quota to fill.


ILLYBRIUS
I wish I knew how much. Quantity-wise, how to feed you.

ORION
Two to three feedings during one sitting every two days. After I put my orb back, it will be only two feedings every five days.

EPIPHANY
[This seems impractical, if I recall the details of your "feeding" correctly.]
[Unless Illybrius's improbably large dick has a timer on it.]

EVRYN
Nope, it's just impractical.

ILLYBRIUS
I need only know. I’d like to know all I can about how to be with you.

ORION
Like I said, once she quits moping out there and brings it back, it won’t be a problem.

EPIPHANY
[Translation: Yeah, well, I don't feel like elaborating, because that brand of exposition doesn't involve any of Corri's fetishes.]

ILLYBRIUS
I really do love you.

ORION
And I you.

ILLYBRIUS
I was talking to the little one with the signs. You’re boring and annoying.

EPIPHANY
[♥]

ILLYBRIUS
I don’t know what happened last night. I was much more emotional than usual, and so was my counterpart, as you saw.

ORION
Yes, I did.

ILLYBRIUS
I’ve been playing with my blood, trying to figure out what to make it. I made a halberd and a grail with the last few items.

ORION
Twin swords. Sorry.

EPIPHANY
[What about twin swords?]

EVRYN
Orion’s suggesting what Illybrius should craft with his plasma-crafting abilities.

EPIPHANY
[Ah, I thought he was telling Illybrius that he was doing it wrong by making a halberd and grail.]

EVRYN
Oh, he probably was, since everything has to be the Corri Sues' way.

ILLYBRIUS
I have a lot of swords. Halberd was unique.

ORION
I meant for… never mind. Yes, Kibby, I know.

ILLYBRIUS
For Miss Akuma?

EPIPHANY
[Oh! Right, I forgot about how they don't care about anything that doesn't directly pertain to them.]
[No wonder he got confused.]

ORION
She’s… outside.

ILLYBRIUS
The swords, I mean.

ORION
Yes. And could you make them with a pitch noise when they are struck?

EPIPHANY
[All noise by definition has a pitch.]
[Do you, by any chance, mean "make a noise like a tuning fork"?]

ILLYBRIUS
I can manipulate size, shape, volume, durability, and texture. I might be able to do that, but I’m not certain.

ORION
Then, could you make them like a fork? You know how they ring? Two swords. Four blades.

EPIPHANY
[. . . Woah, I was right. I didn't even read ahead for that one.]
[Do I get a cookie?]

EVRYN hands Epiphany a cookie

EPIPHANY smells it
Mmmm. . .

ILLYBRIUS
I understand, and I can do it instantly if you like.

ORION
One black and one in white.

ILLYBRIUS
Invulnerable?

ORION
Yes. She has the tendency to break weapons.

ILLYBRIUS
Should the blade be a particular length?

ORION
Katana. It’s what she’s best with.

ILLYBRIUS
Anything else?

ORION
No. Not that I can think of.

EPIPHANY
[Maybe make them weigh the same as a normal katana so they're slightly less unwieldy?]

ILLYBRIUS turns back, crafts swiftly
I put her name on them in Drakoste.

[TIMEFLASH: 8.00 PM]

ORION
Sounds nice.

ILLYBRIUS
I hope so. Well then, she now has a halberd and the fork-katanas.

ORION
Yes, she-- Can I have that now?

ILLYBRIUS
Here. [hands swords to Orion]

ORION
Not you. Sorry. I was talking to… her.

ILLYBRIUS
I’m handing over the weapons. I’m finished with them.

ORION
Keep them until we can remedy this other problem.

EPIPHANY
[Translation: Silly Illybrius, Trix are for kids, and only Corri gets to set the pacing.]

ILLYBRIUS
Other problem?

ORION
More like problems.

EPIPHANY
[Are you also after his Lucky Charms?]

ILLYBRIUS
I suppose it’s none of my business?

ORION
I’ll see if she wants to talk yet, okay?

ILLYBRIUS
Very well. Might I speak to you again tonight?

ORION
Yeah, she’s not letting me leave.

EVRYN
And your timeslot is up.

EPIPHANY cheers
[Time to go home!]

OVD
Finally.
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