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02 July 08, pm 01.13
Topic Started: Nov 4 2017, 12:28 AM (6 Views)
Bloody Death Bagel
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SPARTA!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
So... I guess I R officially engaged.
Posted Jul 2nd 2008, 1:13PM
Mood: Dead
Music: 2 + 2 = 5 by Radiohead

Yeah. We went out for Chinese yesterday to celebrate. I should be excited, and I guess once the numb shock goes away, I will be.

Unfortunately, I'm also sort of engaged to someone else, to whom I've been engaged since I was 15, and I didn't have the heart to break the news to him when he called a few minutes ago. Also, my cell phone's out of minutes. Lucky fucking me. Bastion's a much better match for me than Ash, anyway.

Song change: Who's Got a Match by Biffy Clyro

He's compassionate and unsadistic, pretty much the exact opposite of Ash. Also... he's put up with me for five years, even when everyone else either abandoned me or went to prison. He's been more supportive of certain of my self-imposed personality changes than anybody else-- namely, those like Ash who were telling me not to "lose myself," and basically just a much better guy than I seem to give him credit for sometimes.

Song change: Riot by Three Days' Grace

I've been chasing shadows. There's someone else I might love as well, but who is absolutely out of my reach at this point. In any case, it'd be more meaningful to be friends with said other person than to try wooing him; it would prove Lenore beyond wrong about me, which is really what I'm setting out to do, even if I'm doing it poorly. Still, I am trying to get as much verve as possible, which is difficult as I'm fluctuating between completely empty and emotional overdrive. At least I got rid of most of the voices in my head...
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