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23 November 09, pm 05.56
Topic Started: Nov 12 2017, 03:08 AM (9 Views)
Bloody Death Bagel
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SPARTA!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Monday, November 23, 2009; 5.56 PM

CIN
How long till you come back to Nor-Cal?

AKUMA
Hi.

USAGI
Hey. I don’t know yet, why?

CIN
Because Sam wants to meet you.

USAGI
You can tell Sam that the day I go out with him is the day they elect a black woman president of the Daughters of the American Revolution.

AKUMA
Do I want to know?

CIN
Just an ex. Usagi was totally teasing on him and Usagi ended up falling for him. Now Sam wants to go out with him, but Usagi… um, doesn’t.

AKUMA
From what I saw, lots of people would fall for a blond god like that.

USAGI
Please tell me you’re not one of them.

AKUMA
No. I know you’re important to that Caleb boy.

USAGI
Good. I used to be pretty laidback, but I’m getting sick of trying to tell slutty girls I’m gay. Not that you’re a slut.

CIN
I think that just turns them on more, except they don’t grasp the boys-only part of boys-only.

AKUMA
Maybe you should wear a rainbow.

USAGI
I wear a rainbow scarf.

ILLYBRIUS
Sam’s not bad in bed, though. I know. I sucked his cock for half an hour.

CIN
Yeah. Nice. The look on his face when he saw it was you… priceless.

USAGI
My whole life I’ve loved one girl and she ain’t biting.

ILLYBRIUS
Awkward…

CIN
How’s this awkward?

AKUMA
Just a bit.

ILLYBRIUS
Because you and the amnesiac are the only people who don’t know who he likes. Even Jenna figured it out and she’s almost as dumb as my ex.

CIN
Well, I know it isn’t her. She suggested that she could turn Usagi bi and he literally threw up.

AKUMA
Poor guy.

CIN
That’s what I said!

USAGI
Yeah, how’s Caleb?

AKUMA
He comes to visit. Brings two kids. A blond vamp comes with him. says it’s his protection.

USAGI
Vaan?

ILLYBRIUS grables remot: (Cue video)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vWzCda2JPs or [CUE MUSIC: Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley]

CIN
Oh snap!

AKUMA
Damn song.

CIN
Dude, he just (Vaan/Balthier) Rick-Rolld us.

USAGI laughs

CIN
Oh sure, you WOULD laugh.

AKUMA
Damn. Two Linkin Park songs in one night.

EVRYN
Wait, that rumour I spread about Akuma being too stupid to tell Rick Astley from Linkin Park was TRUE?

AKUMA stands on makeshift stage and sings Break by Linkin Park

USAGI
Ugh, eww.

CIN
I know, right?

AKUMA sings One Step Closer. AKUMA sings Papercut. ILLYBRIUS sings Forever by Papa Roach. AKUMA sings Scars by Papa Roach. CIN sings Believe in Heaven (from Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok).

EVRYN
Well… that was …weird.

OVD
Can we get back to the show now?

EVRYN
I quite agree.

ILLYBRIUS
Usagi, if you don’t want to go out with Sam, would you go out shopping with us?

USAGI
If I agree to go out in public with you, Jenna will pounce on me and ask me out, and then Sam will. No fucking way.

CIN
Well, you could always go visit Gany in Montana.

ILLYBRIUS
Yes, at least neither Sam nor Jenna will be there.

AKUMA
If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?

USAGI
I’d be a banana.

ILLYBRIUS
I think I’d be a kiwi.

CIN
After reading a certain series that my three dumbest friends recommended to me, I know what fruit I WOULDN’T want to be.

ILLYBRIUS
Apples?

CIN
Um, duh.

USAGI
Nice apples.

CIN
Nice almonds. You wanna keep them?

ILLYBRIUS curls up into a ball
I miss Ori.

EVRYN
Yeah, let’s stop this pointless shit now, shall we?

OVD
Right there with you.
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