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DGT ranks THE 12 BEST FILMS OF 1990-1999!; 2K posts in this goddamn shithole
Topic Started: Dec 4 2011, 02:59 PM (2,305 Views)
Blueberry
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GOD of ORG GODS
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Tia is a GODDESS from the 90s!

Bridgette Wilson (Mortal Kombat, Billy Madison) is too! ^_^

Where have they disappeared to? :(
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SurviBoy
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recyclehumans
Dec 4 2011, 09:34 PM
I really can't wait to post #12 tonight. So many of you will go, "...oh my god, he really is out of his fucking mind."

It's all in your hands, post it
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Mister Plum
Dec 4 2011, 09:15 PM
Jumanji

:o

I loved that movie as a kid.
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SurviBoy
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NazOrs
Dec 4 2011, 09:36 PM
Mister Plum
Dec 4 2011, 09:15 PM
Jumanji

:o

I loved that movie as a kid.

I still love that movie as an adult. I think we all do. :iiam
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so misguided and so rude
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Do not let me down DGT.
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Is it too much to hope for that Age of Innocence will be the Scorsese movie on the list and not Goodfellas? And that there's no Magnolia? That would be amazing ^_^ Oh, and I'm hoping for one of All About My Mother/The Thin Red Line/Raise the Red Lantern/Howards End/The Piano/Breaking the Waves to top the list, but judging on the last one I think there will be a lot that I don't see coming at all :lol:

None of the honorable mentions so far would make mine, but American History X & Sense and Sensibility would come close. Boogie Nights is my favorite PTA but he's not a filmmaker I'm into at all. I love Haneke but Funny Games is more interesting than good. I hate Besson and yet love The Professional (mostly due to Portman, not gonna lie) and haven't seen the Craven.

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I really can't wait to post #12 tonight. So many of you will go, "...oh my god, he really is out of his fucking mind."


The movie that would make me say this is Titanic, but probably not a lot of other people :drop You make it sound more like Showgirls or Armageddon or something!

Oh, I just read the clue though. Dumb & Dumber? Wayne's World?
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Blueberry
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GOD of ORG GODS
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Mikester
Dec 4 2011, 08:48 PM
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Do not let me down DGT.

<33333

2012 PLACEMENTS
1. Emma Stone (5th)
2. Sash Lenahan (11th)
3. Samwell (7th)
4. Stacey Powell (23rd)
5. Rogue (10th)
6. Ed (4th)

My horrible stats

*CURRENTLY OBSESSED W/ Alfie Allen/Theon Greyjoy*
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BOOM! CROASTED.
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Even in your wildest, drug-induced hazes, none of you would even come remotely close to guessing it as even a far-away possibility. Out of everyone on this site, Kate by far knows me the best, and there's no way in hell she'd even guess this one.

I'm starting the write-up for it now while it plays in the background. It brings me such joy. :wub:
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Jeff P3
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Time to find out if you're one of those "Beauty and the Beast is the best animated movie of all time" folks.
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Hungry. ;_;
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Galaxy Quest?
Meow.
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Overall Statistics (that badly need an update)
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Refined Southern Gentleman
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"Boys Don't Cry" is appropriate since you look like a tranny Hillary Swank.
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New Nightmare was meta before meta became post-modern self-referential by being called meta.
ILBBS ROCKS!!

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Stranded in Aruba: http://www.immunityidol.net/forums/viewforum.php?f=23

Stranded All Stars:
http://stranded.immunityidol.net
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UD
Dec 4 2011, 10:20 PM
"Boys Don't Cry" is appropriate since you look like a tranny Hillary Swank.

:lol: WTF
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SurviBoy
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If it's Thelma and Louise, it wont be shocking knowing that you're gonna be the one who's ranking
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That was way harsh
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recyclehumans
Dec 4 2011, 09:56 PM
Even in your wildest, drug-induced hazes, none of you would even come remotely close to guessing it as even a far-away possibility. Out of everyone on this site, Kate by far knows me the best, and there's no way in hell she'd even guess this one.

I'm starting the write-up for it now while it plays in the background. It brings me such joy. :wub:

Waterworld maybe? It is an underrated movie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY0bHULptWQ
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Dracotrix <3
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UD
Dec 4 2011, 08:20 PM
"Boys Don't Cry" is appropriate since you look like a tranny Hillary Swank.

I feel like I'm back in DOC. :wacko:
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Blueberry
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GOD of ORG GODS
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Hilary Swank <33

Speaking of her!


The NEXT Karate Kid and Buffy The Vampire Slayer (the movie) seething <333
2012 PLACEMENTS
1. Emma Stone (5th)
2. Sash Lenahan (11th)
3. Samwell (7th)
4. Stacey Powell (23rd)
5. Rogue (10th)
6. Ed (4th)

My horrible stats

*CURRENTLY OBSESSED W/ Alfie Allen/Theon Greyjoy*
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BOOM! CROASTED.
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This first one is a short, rushed, mostly unfocused write-up, just to get this going. And it's also to get out of the way the most unexpected and psychotic entry on this list.





































































































12. GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH

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(1990)
directed by Joe Dante
written by Charlie Haas
starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, John Glover and Dick Miller




I'm not kidding.

No, I mean it. I'm not kidding.

Seriously. Hand to god.

Okay, I swear, for anyone looking at this entry thinking I'm out of my goddamn mind, the first thing I want you to do is go back to my 2000-2009 ranking and remind yourself that each and every entry is made legitimately. :lol:


To repeat what I said in the beginning of this thread: "I fully acknowledge that for at least a couple of these entries (including one very much in particular), "personal favorite" ends up being more of a justification than "best"."

Welcome to that particular entry.


There are so many comedies from the 90s that I adore with all my heart. So very, very many. One of them I even watch more frequently than this one. That one would be NOISES OFF!, which was critically despised but I still thought to be brilliantly performed and executed (based on one of the most hilarious plays ever made). There are so many I could choose from.

But for me, the ultimate arbiter for this list was, what would be the first movies to come to mind without having to even look at my shelves? What did I know off the top of my head to be must-haves?

Amazingly enough, GREMLINS 2 was one of the very first titles that came to mind.

Hand to god.


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He's a witness. Can you really doubt that face?



GREMLINS 2 was made only after some significant consternation on the part of director Joe Dante, who also directed the first GREMLINS (an awesome blend of comedy and horror). Warner Bros wanted to made a sequel and Dante had no interest in making it just for the sake of a sequel. He felt like GREMLINS told that story just fine and didn't need to add anything more to the legacy. Long story short, lots of time passes, lots of efforts go down, and Dante eventually agrees to make the film, with one caveat -- control. He was going to get complete creative control in order to make it.

And thus, we have what may be one of the absolute most ridiculous, madcap, bizarre, psychotic, relentlessly hysterical meta live-action cartoons ever made.


In GREMLINS, we got to meet Billy Peltzer, whose "inventor" father bought him a mogwai from a Chinese merchant as a Christmas present. Billy named the adorable little critter Gizmo, and they lived happily ever after. For about six seconds. Which is how long it took for Gizmo to get doused with some water, thus violating one of the cardinal rules of caring for a mogwai: never get them wet. The other rules? Never let them eat after midnight, and keep bright light away from them unless you want to kill them. Fast forward and you have Gizmo spontaneously producing half a dozen evil-tinged offspring, which then proceed to eat after midnight and transform into ghastly, homicidal, deviously fiendish gremlins. Billy managed to stop them all from completely destroying his hometown, Gizmo got taken back by the Chinese merchant and everyone who survived learned heartwarming lessons for the holidays.

GREMLINS may have been a wildly dark horror/comedy about nasty little creatures acting out in wacky, evil ways, but there's something the movie did very fervently. It took itself seriously.

GREMLINS 2?

Um…

Take everything GREMLINS was trying to be, and GREMLINS 2 goes very out of its way to do the exact opposite.

There is so fucking much comically going on in GREMLINS 2 that any write-up done will shortchange its insane brilliance. It's so completely rich with the most perfect actors and cameos, delivering the most batshit lines and situations, taking us on a narrative ride that knows it'll get from point A to point Z, but the journey to point Z will make you feel like you overdosed on some seriously powerful acid.


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Exhibit A



It's years later and Billy has moved to Manhattan with his girlfriend, soon-to-be-fiancee Kate. They both work for an imitation Donald Trump, named Daniel Clamp, in one of his (many) hypermodern office complex skyscrapers. It's a building at the height of technology, right up to and including the "Clamp Entry-Matic, a revolution in revolving door efficiency", which suffers a bit of a breakdown mid-use and practically rocket-launches a poor sap into the building's lobby. Nothing works right in this building, which is a bit of a problem, considering everything is automated and computer-managed. It also doesn't help that the building is meant to serve almost like a self-sustaining city in its own right, complete with, amongst other amenities, a complete in-house television network and fully-functional genetic research laboratory.

Long story short, Gizmo ends up in the building, captured on the streets by genetic research scientists.

Oh, the lead doctor of the research laboratory is named Dr. Catheter. Played by Christopher Lee.

Knowing anything about him and his brilliant, multi-decade career as a Hammer horror namesake automatically makes this one of the greatest roles ever in the history of anything ever.


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"Oooh, splendid! This must be my malaria! … Just rabies. I've got rabies. And I'm supposed to get the flu this week. … All a man wants is some fresh germs…"



Furthering the long story short, water mixes with Gizmo. Evil offspring produced. Evil offspring eats after midnight. Gremlin transformation. Havoc ensues.

There is no mistake, GREMLINS 2 on the whole follows most of the same plot structure as GREMLINS. There's very little variation with GREMLINS 2, aside from how it executes the structure.

…Oh my god, is the style of execution different.

See, when Joe Dante finally agreed to make the film, he did so wanting to not only make a direct satire of GREMLINS, but a satire of sequels in general. He wanted to go as ludicrously over-the-edge with GREMLINS 2 as he possibly could, making fun of itself, its conventions, the expectations of a sequel… all of it.

I mean, if ever you doubt what kind of movie this is trying to be, this is what happens when you pull the fire alarm inside the Clamp building. A shrill alert sound doesn't start blaring. Instead, a voice actor sounds out over the loudspeakers: "Fire! The untamed element! Oldest of man's mysteries! Giver of warmth, destroyer of forests! Right now, this building is on fire! Yes, the building is on fire! Leave the building! Enact the age-old drama of self-preservation!"

This movie gets so chin-deep in its own lunacy that it features Leonard Maltin giving an on-camera negative review of the home-video release of GREMLINS as the actual gremlins invading the Clamp building invade his movie review studio and attack Maltin. Office workers, after hearing Billy plead for their help in curbing the gremlin menace and telling them the rules of dealing with them, mercilessly mock the rules and every absurd, irrational hole they have. GREMLINS 2 takes the fundamental premise and justification for its own existence and shits on it because… well, because fuck it, it's right and it's funny, that's why.


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"Well, it's rather brutal here. We're advising all our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns."



During a tense (and funny) escape sequence, the movie plays out like film reel burns out. As if the projection of the film in the actual theatre experiences a malfunction during the screening… at which point shadows of gremlins appear on the screen, silhouetted by the projection light, making shadow puppets to annoy the audience and eventually putting in a "nudie" movie to screen. Thankfully, Hulk Hogan is in the audience of the screening of GREMLINS 2 getting disturbed, as he threatens the gremlins to put the goddamn movie back in the projector so they could finish watching it. I mean, this movie breaks the fourth wall in so, so many ways that it just… it… my brain. It hurts.


There is so much about this movie that can be commented on -- performances, references, style choices -- but would take an entry unto itself for each just to properly honor what's on screen.

The only problem is, it's so chin-deep in self-mocking lunacy that it's a very acquired taste. It takes a very special brand of geek to watch this movie and appreciate everything it's doing. Granted, if you don't catch most of what it's doing and how it's doing it, it'll still likely be a fun film to watch for you, but the more of its batshittery and the origins of said batshittery you miss, the less amazing your viewing experience will be.

GREMLINS 2 is not a film with brilliant characterizations and plotting, making searing commentaries on humanity and the moral ambiguity of life.

It's a fucked-up cartoon come to life, and it goes out of its way as much as possible and as often as possible to make fun of itself as completely as it can.

IT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT FOR EVERYONE. Not even in the slightest.

It doesn't care if you don't completely understand why and how it's doing what it's doing. It doesn't care if you don't catch its references, in-jokes, satire and style. It goes 100% for broke, never looks back and says "fuck you" if you aren't gleefully along for its ride.

For those that go on the ride and worship every second of it, GREMLINS 2 is like a savory delight.


I hope I have sufficiently broken your brains with this entry. I promise, it will be the only brain-breaking moment on this list.



So why THIS movie?

I'm a massive geek. This movie is the epitome of geekdom. It speaks for itself. :)



SAMPLE CLIP: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLNPmQQlvak
("Let's talk this over. I can get you diseases. You'd like that, wouldn't you?")
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freeze_"
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I think the last time I saw that was when it came out. I'd like to think that there are, oh I don't know...thousands of better movies than this but hey, props for a good writeup - you're obviously passionate about "The New Batch."
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:blink:
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