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The Great Hall
Topic Started: Feb 23 2009, 06:16 PM (1,456 Views)
Nicole Parker
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Wanderer

One would think that after pulling pranks for almost seven years would have been enough for Nicole. Normally the younger students were known for their immaturity while the older students were known to be the wise, controlled leaders of the school. Obviously Nicole didn't fit that stereotype at all. If anything she more immature then when she first entered the school-if that was possible. The thing was that she didn't pull pranks because it was funny or to get back at the school (although those two reasons were partially valid), it was mostly because it was the only way she could leash out at the injustice of the world. It was the only 'healthy' and 'safe' way to channel her anger. She didn't want to be like those freaks who spent their free time tearing the dueling room and each other apart and she didn't want to abuse any kind of substance.

At the same time she couldn't simply suppress her feelings. She was good at a lot of things, but controlling her emotions wasn't one of them. That's why it was a bloody miracle that no one had found out about her dark secret yet. There had been times, especially during the darkest parts of the war that she had nearly told someone. There were times when she was drunk with Dayla, that she felt like unburdening herself to one of her closet friends. It would have made everything so much easier to handle, but she had always been afraid. It seemed like she had always lived in fear.

On the outside, Nicole appeared to be a rather fearless individual. She was an open lesbian, had no problem challenging any kind of authority, loved pulling insane pranks or stupid stunts, and usually said whatever she was thinking at the time. However, that was all an act. Deep down, she was terrified. There was time she was afraid of her own shadow. She assumed with came with the lifestyle, with never knowing whether the next moment may be her last, never knowing who was going to come home and who was going to disappear, never knowing who to trust, and never being able to be the real her.

She had been trained to hide and cower because it was the safe thing to do. Her father and 'uncle' and never allowed her to be out there in the trenches, fighting by their side. No, they forced her to sit at home and stare at the clock, waiting for their return. She didn't think they realize how much of a punishment that had been. She would have rather risked her life with them than sit and wait. She had tried to convince them to let her come. She even practiced her wandwork in an attempt to impress them, but they always said no. She knew they were doing it for her protection, but what about her sanity? Her physical body may have been safe, but she was pretty sure that she had cracked years ago.

She supposed it wouldn't have been so bad if she had had a sibling to share the experience with. At least that way she'd be able to tell someone how scared she was, how frustrated she was at being the spinster at the age of nine, and how she wished her family would just give up crime and have a normal life. How she wished her father had never died. How horrible it had been to be on the run during those few weeks, alone and cold with nothing but her wand and her pathetic abilities to protect her from trainer killers. And she desperately wanted to talk to someone about her confused feelings for her 'uncle'. She felt so bad for replacing her father with him, but 'Uncle' Eric had always been more of a father figure than her actual father it was sometimes hard to remember that he was the 'uncle' and not the other way around. Unfortunately she didn't have a sibling and she doubted she'd find anyone she could trust enough to share her secrets with.

She knew of kids who had 'bad' parents like the Powers and such, but she wasn't too keen on spending time with them. They were far from sane and seemed to relish the chaos that came from being related to Death Eaters and the such. That wasn't the support she was looking for. Then there was Tatiana. They hadn't really talked about since that one time at the lake, but Tanya had mentioned being related to dark wizards. It had excited Nicole at the time and she had often contemplated asking her about it, but at the same time she didn't know how to approach it. It wasn't like she could just show up one day and start ranting about her 'uncle' or asking her ten million questions about Tanya's family. That would be awkward.

Still there was that unresolved connection they had that Nicole desperately wanted to explore, but was afraid to. What if Tanya's idea of 'dark' was shoplifting or pick pocking? Would Nicole's rather extreme family scare her away or what if it was a trap? What if Tatiana's father was an Auror and he was using his daughter to sniff out former Death Eaters or maybe he knew about the drug trade? Nicole knew that Tatiana was an American, but 'Uncle' Eric, Julius, Jeremy, and her father had done a lot of work in South America and she knew that U.S. always had a strong interest in that region. Besides she heard that there was some other guy in the Americas, a really powerful Xavier Moody like guy, that had taken an interest in the drug trade. So many the U.S. was after him? Argh, see this was why she was going insane. She started asking herself all these unanswerable questions and then she wondered if her 'uncle' would be safe. It was more than any normal human would be able to take.

"Nicole, what are you doing here?"

Nicole jumped as a loud clang resounded throughout the hall. It sounded like it had dropped right above her head. Oh man this could end badly. She looked up, not sure what she was going to see, and smiled. Oh thank god it was just Tatiana...who had apparently confused her textbook for a hat? All right then...
'Oh, nothing," she laughed, "Just hiding from some rather pissed off Slytherins. Nothing new. What about you? Trying out a new fashion statement or just trying to learn via osmosis?"

Rating: 9 PT
Rated by: Erik
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Thanks Val for an awesome sig
For taking and for giving and for playing the game
For praying for my future in the days that remain
Oh lord for that I hold you
Ah but most of all
For cryin' out loud
For that I love you

Member of the Boredom Club With A Boring Name Because We Couldn't Think Of Anything Because We Were So Bored
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Tatiana Mallory
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"Oh, nothing. Just hiding from some rather pissed off Slytherins. Nothing new."

Tatiana smiled at the first part of Nicole's reply. Only a year ago, Tanya had been a newcomer to Hogwarts and almost everything, from the locations of the classrooms to its history, were unfamiliar to her - many things still were, but, at the very least, become well aware of Nicole's legendary reputation. Hardly a day went by without news making the rounds of her 'accidentally' causing one of the professors to trip down several flights of stairs. Or her using a Summoning Charm to grab the clothes of the Slytherin Quidditch Team from out of the locker room when they were all in the showers. Or enchanting all the suits of armour in the castle to sing Christmas Carols despite the year not being anywhere close to Christmas. And really, these were only the more innocent pranks that Tatiana could think of from the top of her head.

"Hmmm. Nothing new, indeed," Tanya remarked, bemused. "You know, that's one thing I like about you, Nicole - one always know what to expect with you. Really, your life must get so boring sometimes," she joked.

"What about you? Trying out a new fashion statement or just trying to learn via osmosis?"

It took a moment before Tanya caught up with that statement. She looked at Nicole nonplussed before finally realising what she meant. "Huh? Oh, right!" She muttered, slightly embarassed at Nicole seeing her in such a ridiculous way. A warm pink tinge appeared on her face as she removed the textbook from her head and lay it on the table again, but she paid it no heed. She sat up again while Nicole took a seat across from her. "Oh, you know me, Nicole: unlike you, there's never a dull moment in my life. I was just busy experimenting with new, creative ways to use Charms books," she said, frowning and nodding in a self-important fashion, though she had trouble keeping her face straight.

"But anyway, all kidding aside... I was just practicing for my exams," Tatiana said a little more seriously. She caught on to the goblet before it rolled off the table. "Still having some trouble, as you might have already guessed." The corners of her mouth curled up in a slightly sad smile, but only for a moment. She had no wish to be a downer on Nicole, especially not right now - even if Tanya, in all honesty, thought that she sucked. She knew she was far from being the worst student in the school; on the contrary, in all the classes that didn't require the active application of magic, she was often one of the students with the highest grades. She was fine at stuff like Herbology and being good with animals, Care of Magical Creatures came to her easily as well. Even Potions, the bane of most students, went reasonably enough. It was just Charms, Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts she dreaded.

Tatiana tried not to let her worries show, absent-mindedly fingering the goblet she'd placed up right again. But even if, in reality, she had little right to complain, it was stuff like this that continued to make her feel out of place. Not just at Hogwarts, but in the magic world as a whole. She was a lousy witch - but too weird a muggle. Both at once, but neither one. Half her blood magical, half not. It was this train of thought that led her back to the topic of her father - a matter that only made things even more ridiculously complicated. Heh. It surprised Tanya sometimes that she hadn't snapped yet. She could probably do with a good shrink.

A short silence fell and she came to the realisation that the shrink-thing may not be such a bad idea... No. To be more precise, she didn't want someone to put her whole life under a microscope, she just wanted someone to talk - really talk to. Get all this off her chest, if only once. Someone that wouldn't judge, maybe even understand her. Tanya abruptly stopped playing with the goblet as she at last remembered who it was exactly she was sitting barely a foot away from. Tatiana recalled in detail their first conversation by the lake... Maybe Nicole could... No! She resisted that temptation immediately; even if she had troubles with her own family, there was no way it could be as bad as having a father accused of stealing dangerous drugs from the Aurors? And how could one ever get started on such a conversation? No... It was better if she kept this to herself, Tatiana insisted, eventhough a little voice inside of her was saying something quite different as she turned her attention to Nicole again...

"So, uhm... How are you?" Tanya started awkwardly, trying to get some semblance of conversation going again.

Rating: 9 pts
Rated by: Sam
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Falling to pieces, as shattering glass...
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Nicole Parker
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Wanderer

"Hmmm. Nothing new, indeed You know, that's one thing I like about you, Nicole - one always know what to expect with you. Really, your life must get so boring sometimes,"

"Hm...I'll have to work on that. I'd hate to become predictable," Nicole snorted as she climbed out from underneath the table.
She sat on the stony floor and pretended to look hurt. How dare she claim that Nicole was predictable. Nicole had never heard a worst insult in her life, although she supposed Tanya had a point. One always knew that Nicole was most likely off pulling pranks or serving detention for pulling a prank. The only thing people never knew was where she was going to strike next. Her hurt look quickly turned to shock.
"Boring!!! Far from it. I mean it may not compare to your action packed life, but I'll tell you that running from exasperated teachers is all the excitement I need."
Oh if only that was true.

"Huh? Oh, right! Oh, you know me, Nicole: unlike you, there's never a dull moment in my life. I was just busy experimenting with new, creative ways to use Charms books,"

Nicole smirked as it took a while for Tatiana to realize what she was talking about. Oh boy. Nicole loved Tanya dearly but sometimes she was slower than Cas-and that was saying something. As Tatiana took the book off her head, Nicole hopped off the floor and sat across from Tatiana. The cold stone floor was hurting her butt. She laughed and said with a cheeky grin, "Oh I'm sure, but that's only because your best friends with me! Without me you're life would be dull and boring."
She paused as she gave some 'deep' thought about the future of charms books as hats. Yeah...somehow she didn't see it catching on.
"Sorry but I doubt people will use them as hats. You might want to try using it as a purse or a mace substitute."
And people said she wasn't helpful.

"But anyway, all kidding aside... I was just practicing for my exams. Still having some trouble, as you might have already guessed."

Nicole looked concerned as Tatiana revealed how nervous she was about the upcoming exams. She knew that magic didn't come naturally to her friend and that her worst grades were in wand regarded classes, but she was an A student in all the other studies like Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures (and almost nobody passed that class). Personally, Nicole felt that Tatiana demanded too much from herself. Nobody was perfect at everything and if Nicole could survive exams then Tatiana definitely could. Nicole was the poster child for squandered talent and extreme procrastination. The only person who was worst then she was was probably Cas.
"You worry too much, Tanya. Listen if I can pass all of my exams, then you definitely can. I don't even study!" she said trying to lift her friend's spirits up, "And worst comes to worst just slip some kind of vomiting pill into the professor's drink. It's a guaranteed way to cancel an exam-not that I would know."

In all seriousness though, Nicole wasn't an A student by any stretch of the imagination, but she was pretty decent. Her talent lay in Ancient Runes and Transfiguration (believe it or not). Charms was a joke so she never payed much attention (even though the professor told her repeatedly that she had great talent in that department), she had actually improved greatly in potions because she realized how many pranks she could pull using potions, she didn't give two shits about Astronomy, she barely showed up to DADA because she couldn't handle the Order brats bragging about their parents and when she showed up she usually pulled her biggest pranks in that class, she gave up showing up to History of Magic second class year, and don't ask her about any class that involved living things. Oh and divination was fun just because she loved making shit up. So yeah, if she could pass all her exams then Tatiana had nothing to worry about.

She frowned slightly as her friend stared at a cup absentmindedly. She knew that this was a sore subject for Tatiana not just because she wanted a good future but because it seemed to confirm that she didn't belong here. Tanya never said it outloud but Nicole knew that she wasn't really comfortable with being a witch. Nicole didn't know why, but Tanya didn't enjoy transforming things or sending cupcakes flying through the air with a thought. She didn't seem to feel comfortable with the wizarding world, but she knew she could never probably return to the muggle world because of everything she had seen.

Nicole didn't quite understand, but then again she had been surrounded by magic her entire life. She didn't know Tatiana's blood status and never asked. It didn't matter to her. She may have been a pureblood but her 'uncle' wasn't and she had many friends who weren't. It was true that Nicole didn't embrace magic as much as others did, but she wasn't uncomfortable with it either. She was actually quite talented with a wand, she just didn't let anyone know but that meant they'd expect even more from her. She just wanted to do the minimum amount of work and that was it. Life was easier that way. Seriously though, she would be a sad child of a dark wizard if she couldn't at the very least hold her own until someone more talented showed up to save her ass. She supposed she should have worked harder, but that required so much effort and that wasn't her thing. Still there seemed to be a lot that Tanya wasn't comfortable with. Nicole just wished she could help her friend.

Nicole noticed the silence that had fallen between them, but didn't try to break it. Tatiana seemed to be lost in deep thoughts and so was Nicole. She loved her friend, but she wasn't really in the mood for small talk. She watched Tatiana and briefly thought about their unspoken connection. Nicole wasn't sure if she could keep her worries under wrap for much longer and it wasn't fair that she had too. It wsn't fair half the shit her family put her through and it wasn't fair that her friend had decided to abuse their friendship just because she need a kick to get up in the morning. Did Nicole turn into a druggy when her 'uncle' had to fight for his life? Did she abuse her friends when her life was being turned upside down? No. She hid it and moved on with her life and what did she get for it? Nothing, but misery. Her 'uncle' repaid her by returning to his old lifestyle and her friend repaid her by shitting on their friendship. God damn them! She hoped they burned in Hell!

"So, uhm... How are you?"

Nicole looked at Tatiana surprised as she was awoken from her dismal thoughts. She looked at her friend uncertainly and a part of her was almost screaming to tell Tanya the truth. This was the perfect opportunity and they were both troubled by something more than exams. Maybe if Nicole shared than Tatiana would share too and she wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Or Tatiana would leave in disgust and Nicole would be worst off. How could things get any worst? She bit her lip as she mentally fought with herself. Come on, if she couldn't trust Tatiana who could she trust? But she didn't know who Tatiana was related too. She didn't know how this information could be used against her or her family. But if she didn't tell someone soon she was going to crack. It was unfair to ask her to deal with this on her own. Then again life wasn't fair now was it. Oh God she wanted to open up so bad right now, but her 'uncle's' voice echoed in her head. "Trust no one, but that only made her angrier. He trusted Morgan and she wasn't part of the family! Hell he trusted Jeremy! And how had he managed to work a deal out with the Ministry? She knew he had someone on the inside that he trusted. He was such a fucking hypocrite. Argh, she hated him so much!
"I uh...I've been better," she said, struggling to find the right words, "Um have you ever had someone you really care for, someone you trust, someone who you THOUGHT cared about you, go and do something so fucking stupid you just want to take their head and bash it repeatedly against a wall?"

Rating: 10 PT
Rated by: Erik
Posted Image

Thanks Val for an awesome sig
For taking and for giving and for playing the game
For praying for my future in the days that remain
Oh lord for that I hold you
Ah but most of all
For cryin' out loud
For that I love you

Member of the Boredom Club With A Boring Name Because We Couldn't Think Of Anything Because We Were So Bored
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Tatiana Mallory
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"Hm...I'll have to work on that. I'd hate to become predictable. Boring!!! Far from it. I mean it may not compare to your action packed life, but I'll tell you that running from exasperated teachers is all the excitement I need."

"Oooh, but how do you know for sure you haven't become predictable already, Nicole?" Tatiana suggested jokingly, as if warning her that she could be in the process of falling prey to some great, future peril. "Hah! See what I mean? How mundane you are, my dear!" She added, doing her best to imitate the speech of some of the haughty Slytherin girls, before briefly bursting into laughter.

All of it couldn't be further from the truth, of course. Considering the frequency her friend got up to no good and landed in detention, it amazed Tanya sometimes she still had time to study at all - or do anything else, for that matter. Or that she hadn't been expelled yet. Although it was possible that Professor Flitwick had simply given up on that thought. Perhaps he viewed Nicole and that crazy bunch of friends of hers (whom Tanya still had to meet, by the way) with the same hopeless outlook as Peeves: too much of a hassle to try and get rid of or attempt to rein in. The thought of tiny Headmaster Flitwick sitting in his office, agonising over news of the latest of Nicole's depraved deeds put a smile on Tanya's face.

For some reason, when first arriving in the UK, she had initially expected Hogwarts to be a whole lot stricter. Maybe it was because of the traditional, stereotypical view of Great Britain as tea-sipping gentlemen that, while outdated, nonetheless persisted: surely, an ancient, well-regarded, upstanding school like Hogwarts would expect higher standards of conduct from their students? But no. Hogwarts was roughly as crazy, if not more so, as Salem High School of Sorcery in the US. And Tanya wouldn't have it any other way.

"Oh I'm sure, but that's only because your best friends with me! Without me you're life would be dull and boring. Sorry but I doubt people will use them as hats. You might want to try using it as a purse or a mace substitute."

"How dare you!" Tatiana cried out in dismay in the same affected voice. "I'll have you know, Nicole, that I'm perfectly capable of leading my own exciting, glamorous life without you in it! And I strongly object to that notion. Trust me, this style of Charm-books-as-hats will catch on in no time. Because that's what I am: a trendsetter. It's not my fault if someone as mundane as you fail to recognise a true fashion genius! Hmph!"

Tatiana abruptly turned away, as if turning her nose up at Nicole, all the while having serious trouble in keeping her face straight. Normally, she didn't fool around this much, but that changed in the presence of Nicole. It was like the two infected each other with craziness. Or perhaps their inherent craziness was strengthened exponentially in the presence of the other.

"You worry too much, Tanya. Listen if I can pass all of my exams, then you definitely can. I don't even study! And worst comes to worst just slip some kind of vomiting pill into the professor's drink. It's a guaranteed way to cancel an exam-not that I would know."

The last bit made Tatiana snort. See? This was why it paid to be friends with Nicole: she would cheer you up one way or the other. But in all honesty, her words did alleviate Tanya's fear somewhat. She supposed Nicole was right. She could worry about it all she liked, but it was a simple fact that she was far from being the worst student in this place. Even if the wand-related subjects were her Achilles' Heel, there were still plenty of others she would pass, as long as she kept working hard. And besides - in her life, would those few bad grades really matter?

"Thanks, Nicole. Really," she said and meant it, her eyes regarding her friend with a warm glance. For a second, her hand lay still, close to the goblet, as she wondered briefly whether to reach out for Nicole's nearby... But ultimately, she decided against it.

"I uh...I've been better. Um have you ever had someone you really care for, someone you trust, someone who you THOUGHT cared about you, go and do something so fucking stupid you just want to take their head and bash it repeatedly against a wall?"

Admittedly, it was not quite the answer that Tanya had been expecting to such a pointless question and she quickly gave Nicole her undivided attention once more. Tatiana caught her heart pounding just a little louder in her chest, briefly wondering whether they were drawing closer to the topic that the two of them had been avoiding for the past few months, but (as she began to suspect) both actually wanted to discuss with the other more than anything else. She slowly considered the question, her eyes falling down to the worn surface of the table.

Did she know such a person? Tanya could not prevent her father from springing to mind almost instantly. It wasn't entirely fair, she supposed. After all, it hadn't been his fault that he had suddenly become a wanted man. Unless he'd actually had committed the crime he'd been accused of - something Tanya refused to believe. Yet, deep down, aside from being sick with worry, wasn't Tatiana also angry with him? How many times had he suddenly gone off, sometimes in the middle of the night, for some investigation? How many times had Tanya been left waiting for days? How many times had she pleaded with him to stop taking up those dangerous cases or even take another position at the government? He was skilled enough and had done enough to go almost anywhere he wanted. But no... There was always one more job. One more case. One more Dark wizard to catch. And even if his current predicament wasn't his fault, Tatiana couldn't help but feel frustrated with him for being involved in the first place.

"In a way, yes..." Tanya finally replied carefully, looking up at Nicole again. "You?"


Rating: 10 PT
Rated by: Leslie
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Nicole Parker
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Wanderer

"Oooh, but how do you know for sure you haven't become predictable already, Nicole? Hah! See what I mean? How mundane you are, my dear!"

Nicole looked horrified as she thought Tanya's words over and they started to make sense. Oh, why did Tanya have to be so cruel?! There were a lot of cruel fates out there, but none worst than being predictable or mundane. It was like being stabbed in the heart. The worst part was that her so called friend did this to her. Oh life was so cruel! She faked gasped and put her hands to her mouth as she stared at Tatiana wide-eyed.
"You're right!" she exclaimed dramatically, "I am mundane!!! Oh, cruel fate! If only I was dead!!!"
She stayed in this dramatic position for a few seconds before she burst out laughing. She had never been able to keep a straight face for long.

One had to wonder how Nicole had avoided being suspended or dismissed from Hogwarts. There were times after a really big practically joke that she wondered why Flitwick simply didn't get rid of her. She, Becky, and Cas were horrible nuisances and she was sure many professors wouldn't miss them. She kind of understood Becky because of who her father was and Cas was related to a duke...somehow. She never figured out how. But then there was Nicole who wasn't related to anyone mentionable in proper society. She often assumed that her father just bribed Flitwick, everyone has a price after all. She wondered how much she was worth. Judging on how much trouble she caused, probably a shitload of money. Maybe that was why her father had to steal, haha...all right that was a bad joke. She really shouldn't make fun of the dead, but she would be lying if she didn't admit that with each passing day she remembered less and less of her father. He had never really been around when he was alive and he never felt right. She had never been able to put her finger on it, but something was wrong. Maybe it was because he had been a drunk and always had whores around the house. Maybe it was because he kissed Julius' ass like it was his job. Or maybe it was because she knew that when push came to shove it wouldn't be her father who would save her ass, it would be her 'uncle'. Or that was what she used to believe anyway.

"How dare you! I'll have you know, Nicole, that I'm perfectly capable of leading my own exciting, glamorous life without you in it! And I strongly object to that notion. Trust me, this style of Charm-books-as-hats will catch on in no time. Because that's what I am: a trendsetter. It's not my fault if someone as mundane as you fail to recognise a true fashion genius! Hmph!"

"Oh sure like I believe that," snorted Nicole, "Even you had the most glamorous life ever before you met me, having me around only makes it glamorouser...and yes that is a word."
She laughed as Tanya tried to defend her charm book hat. She hadn't had this much fun since she, Cas, and Becky drove Corey up the wall. God had it really been that long since they had a good laugh? Well she and Becky had had fun scaring poor Darcy, but that was a dark kind of fun because of Becky's condition. See that was why she liked Tatiana. She was fresh enough to not know or be contaminated by her past and she didn't have any baggage of her own...well except for that one thing they kept tiptoeing around. But even that didn't seem baggage, it almost seemed like a blessing because that meant Nicole finally had someone to share and bound with. Tatiana felt safe, like a shelter from the storm that had been her life since she could remember.
"A true fashion genius?! I don't think you know the meaning of the world fashion," she replied in an equally haughty voice, "but that's okay. I understand that people think they are ten times cooler than they really are because they hang out with me. It's understandable."

"Thanks, Nicole. Really,"

"Don't mention it," smiled Nicole, "It's what friends are for."
She noticed that their hands were close and thought of Bailey. It had been a long time since she had seen her...girlfriend(?) and she missed her touch. It always comforted her. She briefly wondered if Tatiana had met anyone yet. She remembered during their first conversation that Nicole had teased her about being gay. Of course Tatiana had denied it but...she wondered if Tanya had figured it out yet.

"In a way, yes...You?

Nicole took Tanya's silence as meaning that either she was blown away by her sudden outburst or she was trying to figure out how to extract herself from the conversation. She sighed. She knew it would turn out this way. No one understood what she was going through. No one ever did. Why hadn't she kept her mouth shut? Sure it wasn't obvious that she was talking about illegal dealings, but she obviously wasn't happy with this particular individual and no one wanted to listen to someone else's problems. They liked it if you listened to their problems, but ran the moment you started to complain. The problem was now that she had let one little outburst slip, she was literally dying to continue ranting. She needed to let it out, all seventeen years worth of pent up frustration and anger needed to be unleashed right now otherwise she might literally explode. It was a miracle she had lasted as long as she had. But if Tanya didn't want to hear her, who would? Maybe Nicole had imagined the connection they had. She thought that Tanya was a similar pent up walking bomb, but apparently not. Damn. She was about to throw on a smile and laugh it off when Tatiana spoke.
"Oh hell yes!" she bitterly laughed, "My whole life has been filled with assholes who deserve to be curb stomped!"
It was true. Her mother left her a year after she had been born, her father was a fucking idiot who got himself killed, her two 'uncles' were either evil and scary like Julius or fucking moping rain clouds who enjoyed to hurt themselves and everyone around them like 'Uncle' Eric. And don't get her started on her friends. Dayla kicked her around like some unwanted puppy and only called her over when she was desperate. Becky decided to become a druggie, breaking her promise, and Cas had fallen off the face of the earth just when she needed him most. She was half expecting Bailey to be a fucking Order member. That would be the fucking cherry on the sundae. Argh!!! She slumped in her hair and looked at Tatiana apologetically.Was she really going to isolate her only friend who had betrayed her because she needed to rant? She should be ranting to Becky, at least she deserved to suffer.
"I'm sorry," she sighed, "It's just...I've never had anyone to talk to. I couldn't. I was too afraid, but I can't hold it back any longer. You have no idea what I've been through, what my family has done, what the latest war did to me. What it's still doing to me. I just...Never mind. It's not important."
She just couldn't do it. She had already said too much as it was. If she said anymore she'd not only mentally scar Tatiana for life, but somehow endanger everyone she loved.
"What about you, though? Who's your asshole?"
Probably some teacher who failed her in a class or something innocent and simple like that.

Rating: 9 pt
Rated by: Martha
Posted Image

Thanks Val for an awesome sig
For taking and for giving and for playing the game
For praying for my future in the days that remain
Oh lord for that I hold you
Ah but most of all
For cryin' out loud
For that I love you

Member of the Boredom Club With A Boring Name Because We Couldn't Think Of Anything Because We Were So Bored
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Tatiana Mallory
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"You're right! I am mundane!!! Oh, cruel fate! If only I was dead!!!"

"Shhh... There, there, Nicole. It's okay," Tatiana said in a motherly voice, leaning in closer, as she attempted to assuage her friend's fears (all the while keeping another big, stupid grin from her face with a supreme effort). "You'll get used to your new, mundane identity. You may have to go through several years of intense therapy, but you'll get through this. I'll be there for you."

But soon enough, Tanya's merry laughter joined in with Nicole's again. Several other people at the Gryffindor table stared (mostly those that were trying to study, just like Tatiana had, until Nicole had shown up), but she didn't really care. After their fit of hilarity had subsided somewhat, she leant down at the table with a content sigh. Jeez, hanging around with Nicole was bad for your health.

It had been a while since Tatiana had had this much fun. Not that she was all gloom and doom most of the time. She'd had numerous friends to mess around with before coming here, especially at Salem High. It was just that, when her mother had died in her second year and she went to live with her father again, she got dragged along the whole world with him for his all-important missions. Tanya had attended virtually every magical school in existence - which, she suddenly realised, might explain her poor performance in some subjects, having had no truly consistent education as a witch for years now - and there was simply little time to get close to people. Just as she was really starting to get along with them, she'd be off again.

As she sat there, at the Gryffindor table, Tanya knew that, eventhough she would give up almost anything if it meant proving her father's innocence right now, returning to her normal life and going back to Salem High, a part of her greatly desired to remain here for the time being. Even if Nicole was graduating this year, they'd still be able to keep in touch and see each other from time to time. She didn't want to be a burden on the Moody's either, but was very thankful to them for letting her stay and felt like she couldn't just up and leave before doing something for them in return. But above all, perhaps Tanya simply wanted some stability in her life for once.

"Oh sure like I believe that. Even you had the most glamorous life ever before you met me, having me around only makes it glamorouser...and yes that is a word. A true fashion genius?! I don't think you know the meaning of the world fashion, but that's okay. I understand that people think they are ten times cooler than they really are because they hang out with me. It's understandable."

"How very eloquent. My dear Nicole, you wouldn't know glamorous if it came up to you and poked you in the behind with a broomstick," Tatiana declared, making a parody of one of the stuck-up, snobbish Slytherin girls in her year, complete with her flawless British accent. The two of them shared a couple classes and had crossed each other several times and both got on the other's nerves. "But that's okay," she echoed Nicole, "if I need you for anything, it's because such a plain, boring person makes a wonderful person like me shine all the brighter."

Oh, Tanya knew she was having way too much fun with this.

"Don't mention it. It's what friends are for."

Tatiana said nothing else, but she probably would've been telling her 'thank you' for a few more times if she didn't know it wasn't necessary. So the grateful smile around Tanya's lips would have to suffice to convey how much she appreciated her friend's encouragement. She was right, of course, that that's what friends were for, but losing her mother had taught Tatiana never to take any friendly soul for granted.

At the same time, she was pretty certain that Nicole had noticed how close their hands were to each other. Once again, she kept herself from moving forward and gently close her fingers around hers, however much she liked to. Yet neither did Tanya pull away. Her own concern for such a seemingly trivial matter was starting to bother her... Was she seriously starting to fall for Nicole? She was kind, funny, beautiful... Over the past few months, she had started to feel she'd found a kindred spirit in her and part of her wanted to pour out her whole heart to Nicole. But that still seemed like a bad idea... Nor did she dare ask whether Nicole was already seeing someone...

But then her friend said something that made Tanya look on her in a new light.

"Oh hell yes! My whole life has been filled with assholes who deserve to be curb stomped! I'm sorry. It's just...I've never had anyone to talk to. I couldn't. I was too afraid, but I can't hold it back any longer. You have no idea what I've been through, what my family has done, what the latest war did to me. What it's still doing to me. I just...Never mind. It's not important. What about you, though? Who's your asshole?"

Nicole's outburst took her by surprise, though it wasn't entirely unexpected. But Tatiana listened intently, every word seeming to make her insides colder with nerves, even as her heart pumped her warm blood around with increasingly quicker beats. Tatiana was fearful, but now she wanted to know. She was tired of dancing around the issue they had mentioned at the lake and now she must, needed to hear it. And whatever it was, it was clear that it was causing Nicole a lot more grief than she had been pretending and only out of concern, she wouldn't have minded Nicole confiding in her. So when she suddenly tried to brush it off, Tanya made a choice. She leant closer and reached out for Nicole's hand, her warmth soothing.

"No, don't stop," she said, sounding urgent, almost panicked, before calming slightly. "Please, tell me. I... I've never had anyone to talk to either..." Tatiana bit her lip, having trouble bringing up her father and everything else now that it came down to it, but she wanted to encourage Nicole and it wouldn't be fair otherwise.

"As for me, it's... my father," she finally spoke, dropping her voice to prevent anyone from listening in. Her face seemed weary and sad at the very memory. "He's an Auror, at the American Government of Magic... But about a year ago, he was accused of... a crime, and he's been on the run ever since."

There. She'd finally said it. Not everything, but it was something to start with. Months of carrying this around with her and there it was. But now she yearned to know what was troubling Nicole even more. "But what about you? What about your family? What exactly have they done?" Tatiana asked, not wanting to pry, but wanting to know.

Rating: 10 pt
Rated by: Sam
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Falling to pieces, as shattering glass...
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Nicole Parker
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"Shhh... There, there, Nicole. It's okay,"You'll get used to your new, mundane identity. You may have to go through several years of intense therapy, but you'll get through this. I'll be there for you."

Nicole continued to sniff as Tatiana tried to comfort her. It really was a miracle they hadn't been put into an insane asylum yet. Maybe if Nicole had a normal family, she would have been placed in one already. She didn't know what Tatiana's excuse was.
"I don't know if I can," she moaned, "It's too painful. I mean my whole life has been spent being crazy. How can you ask me to give that up?"
Their laughter soon echoed through the hall, causing others to glare at them. Nicole just shrugged the deathly stares off. Let them look. They were just jealous that they couldn't be this free and happy during exam period.

Nicole had never worried about her grades, so exam period had never been extremely stressful for her. She figured she knew enough to pass and if she didn't, oh well. What was going to happen? Tarendeau would chase after her for not doing well in Transfiguration? Nicole could handle the crazy bat. She wasn't all that intimidating, she was just full of herself because she used to be the head of the Auror department and shit like that. Please. So she good at kissing ass and sticking her nose were it didn't belong. Big deal. Actually come to think of it, she couldn't think of a single Hogwarts teacher she respected. Professor Darke was a coward and a traitor and ridiculously soft spoken. Professor Moody was big and kind of intimidating in that manner, but he was the biggest pushover. He would never lay a finger on his students or anyone 'innocent' and thus was a wuss. He was another one who thought he was hot shit because he knew how to crush innocent men who were just trying to make a living anyway they knew how.

Nicole didn't really believe in the whole class system thing that some dark wizards did. She thought it was a bit archaic to think that the only way to get ahead in the world was to come from money or to be related to someone famous, but it sure as shit helped. Look at Samantha Moody. According to Becky, she was whizzing through her studies, and not just because she had talent. No, it was because she was a Moody and everyone was on their hands and knees worshipping the heroes of the wizarding world. The idea made Nicole want to spit. She loved Becky, but she wasn't very fond of her privileged family. Hell look at Cas, the boy could get away with murder because he was related to a Duke and looked Dayla. Nicole loved her dearly, but there were many things the press and people in general would over look because she was a lady. Sure they'd gossip behind her back, but she wasn't going to be punished for it. Of course this world of connections and money made it easy for some skilled people-like 'Uncle' Julius-to hide, but it made it almost impossible for the average man to make a difference, because let's face it. Nicole may not like Moody or Tarendeau, but they sure as hell weren't average.

Nicole had to admit that that was a lot of 'Uncle' Eric talking, but at the same time it had a ring of truth to it. Nicole had seen it, and it left a bad taste in her mouth. Nicole didn't know much about her 'uncle' but she knew that this system also had a big part in making him the loving git he was and that made Nicole bitter, because it also ruined her life. Damn priliveged fucks.

Still, Nicole was also very nervous about finding a job. There was no way in Hell that she'd be an Auror and she didn't have the grades. She had briefly considered being a Healer, but decided that she hated sick people and she didn't want to go through anymore schooling. A news reporter kind of sounded like fun, but really that was just glorified squealing. She thought about being a photographer but she had never used a professional camera before. She thought about Sari's offer to try a posing for a fashiong shoot, but she wasn't pretty enough for that job, despite what Bailey told her. Maybe she could be a bartender. Oh yeah, that was the life. She was sure her 'uncle' would be proud. Well maybe she could just do what he did. Become a dark witch for years and then magically work out a deal with the ministry and work for the Wizengamot. Yeah, that was a sure fire way to make it ahead in life.

"How very eloquent. My dear Nicole, you wouldn't know glamorous if it came up to you and poked you in the behind with a broomstick," But that's okay," she echoed Nicole, "if I need you for anything, it's because such a plain, boring person makes a wonderful person like me shine all the brighter."

"Ah ha!" Nicole exclaimed as if she had won a great victory, "You have just proven that you know absolutely nothing about glamorous...ness. Glamorous would never use a broomstick to poke someone, they'd use a glass vase or something expensive like that and they'd never poke someone in the bottom. You don't know what comes out of there. They'd poke you in the head, that well they wouldn't have to bend over and use a lot of energy to poke you."
She folded her arms before her chest and looked at Tanya defiantely, as if she had single-handedly won the argument.
"Keep dreaming," she snorted, "You got it all wrong. It's not my plainness that makes you shine brighter, it's my excess awesomeness, duh."
Yeah, that was it.

Nicole grinned at the thankful smile on Tanya's face. That was another reason, she liked Tatiana. The Gryffindor knew the value of friends. Nicole had never been actively involved in the dark affairs of her family, but she had still suffered from it. She had gone to Hogwarts all seven years and yet she had only made friends with Cas, Becky, Dayla, Bailey, Darcy, and now Tatiana. Sure, she knew almost everyone, but she wasn't friends with them. She couldn't afford to be close with anyone, especially during the height of their drug business in Latin America, and so she kept to herself. She had made friends with Cas and Becky by accident and nearly died when she found out Becky was a Moody. The only reason they remained friends was because Becky proved that she was nothing like the rest of her family.

Still Nicole valued and loved her few friends more than anything else in this world, besides her family, and she would die for them. She expected the same kind of loyalty from them, because in her life those were the only friends that mattered. So she appreciated Tatiana's loyalty and warmth and that was another reason she felt like she could share with her. Sure Dayla, Cas, and Becky had been loyal, but she never got the feeling that they understood just how much a friend meant, how much they should be cherished. That wasn't to say that they were bad friends, they just didn't understand. How could they? Sure Becky had Cael as a father, but somehow that hadn't been the same. Becky never seemed to have the ulcers Nicole had whenever her family went out and Becky's father's activities were acceptable in normal society and Becky never had to rationalize loving someone who by all standards was a monster.

"No, don't stop Please, tell me. I... I've never had anyone to talk to either..."As for me, it's... my father. He's an Auror, at the American Government of Magic... But about a year ago, he was accused of... a crime, and he's been on the run ever since."

Nicole's head jerked up in surprised as Tanya touched her hand and encouraged her. Her hand was so soft and warm and she seemed so sincere. Wait, what?! Was Tatiana pulling a cruel joke on her or was she being serious? Did she really want to hear Nicole's sob story? Was it possible that Tatiana could really understand her and her pain? Nicole gasped when Tatiana said it was her father. No way! Had Nicole heard right? Were they really suffering from the same problem? Were their fathers really insufferable assholes who only cared about themselves and no one else? She stared at Tatiana uncertainly as her head was whirling from the shock. Could this strange American really be a kindred spirit? She frowned at the weary face that seemed to have taken over Tanya's usually chirp disposition. Her father was an American Auror? Why? Why were all of her friends connected to either the Order or the Aurors? She raised an eyebrow as Tatiana explained further. Hm...was he a rogue Auror or a poor sap that had been framed? Either scenario was possible. Nicole had heard of many Aurors who had switched sides simply because of fear or money and 'Uncle' Julius used to love screwing innocent Aurors over by planting evidence and shit like that. So many innocent lives had been ruined by that man...and by her father and 'uncle'.

She had never stopped to think of the families they had ruined as well, of the children like Tatiana who had to live with the knowledge that their inncoent father was now a wanted criminal. Nicole used to think that they had deserved it, that it was either them or her family, but now...she wasn't sure. Still she had no idea what to tell Tatiana. She had never imagined sharing war wounds with someone and now that she had a chance she had no idea what to say. A sorry was useless, but what else was there to say?
"I kind of know how that is," she struggled, "I mean my family has been on the run since I was born."
She bit her lip as her old defenses popped up, but she was tired of hiding and and she was tired of covering for her fucked up family.
"Your father...I'm assuming he's innocent?" she said simply going with a gut feeling, "I mean...what did he supposedly do? I don't mean to pry," she quickly added, "It's just...I don't know...This is the first time someone's been willing to talk to me and I don't know what to say or...anything really."
She looked down at Tatiana's hand and rested her other hand on top of her friend's hand. It felt so right and warm and it was a comfort to know that someone was there for her, someone who would understand and wouldn't judge her.
"I'm sorry," she choked out, "I've had my head up my ass for so long, I never realized what the after effects would be. I never considered what an Auror's kid must go through."

"But what about you? What about your family? What exactly have they done?"

Nicole nearly jumped as they brought the attention back to her family. Oh Jesus, still it was only fair. Tatiana had put herself on the line. It wouldn't be right to learn all of her dirty secrets and hide her own. Her heart was trying to burst out of her chest and her eyes were starting to water. God she was being such a fool, but it had been so damn long since she had had anyone to talk to. Morgan had tried to get her to open many times, but she had not wanted to put more pressure on her and she had been following her 'uncle's' lead. She had not wanted to ruin the only healthy relationship he had because she had shared too much. Yet, it was killing her and had been killing her for years.
"What haven't they done?" she laughed miserably.

But now she hesitated. Tanya's father was an Auror-innocent or not-and that meant she had been raised in the same self-righteous crap Becky, Cas, and Dayla, had been raised in. What if Tatiana wanted nothing to do with her anymore because Nicole's family was the reason her father had to risk his life all the time? Surely Tanya could see that her family didn't define Nicole, right? Just because she was related to murderous assholes, didn't mean she was a murderous asshole...right? Was she really different from her family? How could she be? Her entire life had been haunted by her family's lifestyle, so how could that not define her? How could anyone who fought alongside the Aurors and Order members want anything to do with her? She was a tainted orphan, just another victim of the dark arts, something to be pitied and studied but never loved. That was the real reason why she had never told anyone the truth. She was afraid that the moment they found out who she really was, the moment the mask came off, they would shun her and the only world left to her would be the world of the dark arts, a world she once would have embraced full heartedly, but now it was a world that she almost hated.

She looked at Tatiana's innocently concerned face and felt her warm hand and swallowed. Tanya was different, she had to be.
"My family...they are...gangsters," she choked, laughing at how stupid and melodramatic the word sounded, "Believe it or not. God this sounds so fucking stupid."
She tore her hands away from Tatiana and wrapped herself in a hug to try and find the strength to continue. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes as she slowly realized that this was it, this was the moment she could reveal everything. But where to start? And would Tatiana believe her?
"There aren't many left anymore...they were really strong a couple of years ago when they had a huge drug ring in South America. I'm not sure what happened, but it fell apart and they've been struggling to survive ever since...I don't know...I'm sorry I don't mean to burden you...I'm not even sure if this is making sense."
She sniffed for real this time and looked away from Tatiana. God this was such a big mistake.

Rating: 10pt
Rated by: Martha
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Thanks Val for an awesome sig
For taking and for giving and for playing the game
For praying for my future in the days that remain
Oh lord for that I hold you
Ah but most of all
For cryin' out loud
For that I love you

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Tatiana Mallory
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"I don't know if I can. It's too painful. I mean my whole life has been spent being crazy. How can you ask me to give that up?"

"Well, you obviously weren't that crazy or you wouldn't have become boring in the first place," Tatiana explained in a matter of fact fashion, as if anyone with half a brain would understand that, before turning away, lost in thought, as though suddenly coming to an unexpected realisation. "But wait... If you weren't crazy enough, then maybe all you have to do is act crazier than you normally do!" What a revolutionary concept! Like a mad genius, she had stumbled on the solution! "It won't be therapy after all! The teachers will be so happy!"

Obviously, that was yet another statement in jest. Tanya tried to imagine the look of horror on the teachers' faces when trying to deal with an even more misschievous Nicole than usual. She supposed she should be happy for their sakes that Nicole was graduating soon. How many more years would they have been able to take before they'd cracked?

Their laughter quieted again. Tanya brushed a stray strand of her black hair away, all the while smiling lazily. Her Charms book lay forgotten on the table. This was definitely a far more enjoyable way to spend one's afternoon, although deep down, the knowledge that Nicole would soon be gone from Hogwarts still saddened her. She knew it wasn't really good-bye. Friends did not need to part so easily. But life at Hogwarts would not be the same, even if they had only met about 6 months ago.

Not that Tanya would be childish about it. Besides, another year and she'd be free of her magical education herself! Admittedly, that thought worried her more than it comforted. She knew that Nicole was uncertain what to do after graduating, but Tanya was even more so - she wasn't even really sure whether she belonged here in the wizarding world.

"Ah ha! You have just proven that you know absolutely nothing about glamorous...ness. Glamorous would never use a broomstick to poke someone, they'd use a glass vase or something expensive like that and they'd never poke someone in the bottom. You don't know what comes out of there. They'd poke you in the head, that well they wouldn't have to bend over and use a lot of energy to poke you."

"Keep dreaming. You got it all wrong. It's not my plainness that makes you shine brighter, it's my excess awesomeness, duh."


Tatiana raised an ironic eyebrow at how pleased and assured her friend seemed of her argument, then made a derisive, clicking sound with her tongue. "'Glamourosity' is obviously the word you're searching for, Nicolette," she told her impatiently, not sure since when her name had become Nicolette, but deciding to stick with it on a whim anyway. "And besides, vases are sooo last year. Everyone truly glamorous understands you need something more aerodynamic to poke someone."

Tanya then gave an exaggerated sigh. "Oh, fine. There's just no arguing with such a boor-ish person as yourself, Nicoletta. Hmph!" She looked away with a facetious, mocking gesture of her hand, as if gravely offended.

Perhaps her and Nicole should just tour the country as a comedic duo. They'd need trucks to deliver the piles of Galleons.

But the fun and games had ended rather abruptly when the talk had arrived at their respective families.

"I kind of know how that is. I mean my family has been on the run since I was born. Your father...I'm assuming he's innocent? I mean...what did he supposedly do? I don't mean to pry. It's just...I don't know...This is the first time someone's been willing to talk to me and I don't know what to say or...anything really. I'm sorry, I've had my head up my ass for so long, I never realized what the after effects would be. I never considered what an Auror's kid must go through."

Tatiana didn't quite know what she was hearing. It was bad enough that she and her father had been on the run, but to hear that Nicole had been going through the same thing, or worse, her whole life practically tore at her heart. Though Nicole had hinted at it, she could never have imagined that such a dark history lay behind her. Was that the truth beneath all her smiles and jokes? When Nicole asked about her father, however, Tanya hesitantly opened her mouth to speak but found the words just didn't come out. Her throat felt try. So instead, she let Nicole continue, feeling just as worse as her friend seemed to be. It felt as if some old wound within her was being opened again... Or that cracks were appearing over some crystal that had naturally grown over all her own fear and pain, growing deeper with each word they spoke of the matter. Somehow, no matter how much she would have shared all her burdens with someone, she was suddenly afraid of it shattering...

When Nicole placed her other hand on top of Tanya's, she gave out something that was between a gasp and a sigh. She looked at Nicole. The warm weight calmed her frantic mind, still wrestling with the realisation that after all these months, she had someone that would understand what she was going through. Quite unexpectedly, strength came to her and Tatiana pushed through.

"It's okay," she all but whispered at first. "I know how awkward this is... I don't really know what to say either, but..." She carried on a bit more forcefully. "I know my father is innocent. He has to be." Tatiana knew her father. There was not a chance that the accusations were true... But then why did a spectre of doubt still haunt her in the back of her head, irking her? Perhaps because he was almost half a crook himself, anyway. He knew every shady wizard in any dark alley. That's where his real value lay to the Aurors and she knew it. All this time, she couldn't help but fear that her father had actually gone and done something stupid, but something as serious as this? No. He may be an idiot sometimes, but when it came down to it, he was always on the side of the law. Tanya continued, each word heavy on her tongue.

"They're saying he... stole a bunch of drugs that had been taken into custody from some big, wizard crime-group, I dunno the name or details..."

What Nicole had said about an 'Auror's kid' did make her wonder at what exactly she meant... And what that implied about her own situation.

"My family...they are...gangsters. Believe it or not. God this sounds so fucking stupid. There aren't many left anymore...they were really strong a couple of years ago when they had a huge drug ring in South America. I'm not sure what happened, but it fell apart and they've been struggling to survive ever since...I don't know...I'm sorry I don't mean to burden you...I'm not even sure if this is making sense."

"No, it's alright," was the first thing that instinctually came to Tanya and she squeezed Nicole's hand gently. The look in her doe-like eyes was warm, compassionate and passionate. She was somewhat shocked that Nicole's family were involved in something that big, but she wouldn't judge. Though strangely, it wasn't too different from her own troubles - except both were simply on different sides, she the daughter of a framed Auror and Nicole the daughter of a criminal.

"Please... I don't mind. If you want to tell me more, I'm here for you," Tatiana finally said, hard-pressed to keep her tears from falling.

Rating: 10pt
Rated by: Sam
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Nicole Parker
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Wanderer

"Well, you obviously weren't that crazy or you wouldn't have become boring in the first place. But wait... If you weren't crazy enough, then maybe all you have to do is act crazier than you normally do! It won't be therapy after all! The teachers will be so happy!"

Nicole took a few minutes to think about Tatiana's first statement. She had to admit that it was very demoralizing to think that she hadn't been all that crazy to start with. She had long thought of herself as the epitome of craziness and now she was being told that that wasn't necessary true anymore. Sigh, how could she have failed at her number one goal of being the craziest student who had ever roamed the halls of Hogwarts? Her eyes widened in unspeakable joy as Tatiana rattled off her amazing idea.
"By Jove, Tanya, you're a genius!" she exclaimed bouncing in her chair, "You should win a Nobel Prize for that idea! Oh, thank God there is a cure otherwise i would have thrown myself from the Astronomy tower!"
All right so maybe she was laying it on a little thick, but it was fun so who cared. She snorted when Tatiana mentioned the teachers. Somehow she doubted it.
"Well of course. We all know how much they love me and hate seeing me suffer."
That was why they gave her detention all the time.

Nicole had to admit that she was going to miss this place once she graduated. It was the only stable home she had ever had. It was the one place where she belonged and no one asked annoying questions or asked too much from her. It was here that she made real friends and it was here that she could be happy. The school had given her so much, a lot more than most people would know, and part of her didn't want to leave. But she couldn't stay here forever. She had to grow up eventually and try and make it in the real world. She had considered teaching here, but she didn't have the patience or skill to be a teacher. She didn't know any subject well enough to explain it to another student and all of the positions were filled here. She'd have to wait for someone to keel over before she could replace them and that could take forever. Besides she'd have to enforce the rules and shit like that. Blah. Talk about lame. Nah, she was just going to have to beg on the streets for money.

Nicole often wondered if it was the school or he friends she would miss. The school had its own special charm, but would it be home without her friends? Nicole doubted it, so maybe it wasn't the fact that she would be leaving the stony halls of Hogwarts, but her friends that was upsetting her. She knew they wouldn't totally lose contact with each other, but they would go their separate ways. She had no idea what Cas or Becky had planned for their futures, but she knew it wasn't sitting on the city streets hoping for someone to toss them a galleon. Look at Dayla. She was a lady now and Nicole barely saw her. Would that happen to Becky and Cas too? And what about Tatiana? She would still be in school. Sure they could write letters to each other and see each other during the holidays, but it wouldn't be the same. The bottom line was Nicole was eventually going to end up alone and the idea scared her. She hated being alone. Still maybe she would be wrong. Maybe they would remain close friends forever...yeah, maybe.

"'Glamourosity' is obviously the word you're searching for, Nicolette. And besides, vases are sooo last year. Everyone truly glamorous understands you need something more aerodynamic to poke someone."

"Oh, fine. There's just no arguing with such a boor-ish person as yourself, Nicoletta. Hmph!"


Nicole nearly died laughing when Tanya started to call her Nicolette. Haha, that was the best nickname ever! She was going to start introducing herself as Nicolette from now on.
"Well my dear, Tanya, that is where you are mistaken. True glamorousness or 'glamourosity' as you boors call it, never goes out of style. So while broomsticks may be glamorous this year, they're not truly glamorous. Only a vase is eternally glamorous," she with a little 'hmph'
Nicole couldn't fight back her laughter as Tatiana turned her back on her. They really were horribly funny together. Nicole was convinced that if anyone actually watched them that person would die from laughter.
"You just don't want to admit that I have outglamourized you," she said smugly.
Yeah, that was it.

"It's okay. I know how awkward this is... I don't really know what to say either, but...I know my father is innocent. He has to be. They're saying he... stole a bunch of drugs that had been taken into custody from some big, wizard crime-group, I dunno the name or details..."

Nicole could appreciate the shock and apprehension that was etched into Tatiana's face. She was feeling the same things and more. How could anyone expect them to feel differently? It was so surprising to finally meet someone who understood, who truly knew what it was like to be related to idiots. As she continued to speak, she noticed Tatiana tighten and struggle to response. "Oh please don't shut down. Don't send me away," Nicole thought. They had started and Nicole wasn't sure if she could stop. Yes, a part of her told her to shut up, to run away, to simply change the subject, but she couldn't. She needed to share and Tatiana needed to share. It wasn't fair that they had to hide and struggle while their families fucked them over. She frowned slightly as Tatiana gasped at her touch. "Oh, come on, Tanya, you can tell me anything," she mentally pleaded, "I won't judge. How can I? After everything my family has done? After everything I've seen? You can trust me. Please. Nicole let out a sigh of relief as Tatiana finally spoke. Thank God.
"But it's also a good thing," she said breathlessly, "You have no idea how long I've needed someone like you. And you can trust me. You don't have to hide anything from me, honestly!"
She needed complete trust between the two of them, because if they continued this conversation, then she was going to trust Tatiana with one of her deepest, darkest secrets and she needed to know that Tatiana could handle that.

She smiled slightly at Tatiana's faith in her father. It was slightly strange to have someone so confident in theirs parents. Nicole had never really known what that felt like. If she had heard that her father had done something stupid, she generally believed it. Then again, being involved in the dark arts was his specialty.
"Well if he didn't do it, can't he just tell the truth? I mean there isn't any evidence that he did it...is there?" she asked hoping that this didn't shut Tatiana down.
She wasn't trying to pry or be nosy. She was trying to help her friend.
"I mean....why is he on the run if he didn't do it?"
She didn't doubt Tatiana, not really anyway. She was just curious as to why an innocent man would dump their child in another country and disappear. Only guilty men were that heartless.

She stiffened slightly as Tatiana explained what her father was charged with, and Nicole's red tear stricken face started to whiten. He was involved with the drug trade? That sounded like her 'uncle's' work. They were famous for shit like that. If an Auror was too noisy or found too much out they either intimidated him or planted evidence that ruined his life. But if that was true...Oh God. She knew that 'Uncle' Eric had returned to a life of crime and that he had something to do with the sudden availability with the drugs Becky was currently hooked on and she knew that 'Uncle' Julius had something to do with that. But who was this powerful organization? She hadn't heard much because 'Uncle Eric' kept everything from her (the one perk of living with her father was that she used to get all the latest dirt because he was such a gossiper himself), but she hadn't heard about 'Uncle' Julius regaining any of his old power. Had he latched onto someone else? If so, who? And why? He was generally a solo guy. And why this Auror? What had Tatiana's father discovered that was so threatening? How big was this drug ring of theirs?

If her 'uncles' weren't careful they were going to draw all kinds of attention to themselves and then what? She thought 'Uncle' Eric had made a deal with the Ministry to avoid this kind of thing. And what about Tatiana? Look at how Nicole's family had ruined her life. The poor kid didn't have a father anymore-not really anyway-and she had to live with the stain that her father had turned into a turncoat. How was that fair? How many other kids had to go through this? But was it fair that Nicole's family had to be hunted down like dogs? Was it fair that her family had to be punished for making a living? That Nicole had to sit back and pray that everyone she cared for would make it home safe and alive?

She looked at Tatiana and wondered how she could share now that she knew what her father was going through. Tatiana would blame her which was naturally. It was most likely her family's fault that Tanya's life had turned upside down and what could Nicole say in defense? I didn't know? You're father deserved it? It's just good business? Tatiana was her friend, damn it and her lifestyle wasn't supposed to affect her friends. She had tried so hard to protect them. That was why she never told anyone the truth. And yet look at Tatiana. Look at Becky.
"Tanya, what was your father working on?" she asked slowly, "What did he find out?"

"No, it's alright. Please... I don't mind. If you want to tell me more, I'm here for you,

Nicole felt like shutting down herself when it was her turn to share. And yet that wasn't fair and she really didn't want to. She had to let it all out. If not for her own sanity then for Tatiana's. Sure, Tanya would probably hate her after this, after she learned how much of a part Nicole's family probably played in Tatiana's misery, but then maybe Tanya would be able to use the information to help her father out. Nicole knew she should be looking out for her own family, after all nothing was more important than family, but her family had done nothing but fucked her over. Her mother abandoned her before she was even two; her father died on her and left her to deal with his shit, and her 'uncles' loved crime more than her. So who was she supposed to be loyal to? Who was she supposed to protect? Only her friends had ever been there for her. Only her friends actually gave a shit about her. Her family just humored her because she was an unexpected surprise. So what loyalty was she supposed to have, when she was an alien to her own family? She stared into Tatiana's warm, doe eyes and she couldn't stop the tears anymore. They freely fell down her thin face as she shuddered with a sigh. She closed her eyes briefly to fight the gushing tears before slowly opening them.
"My family is an 'old family'," she started to explain, "One of the originals. They've been a gangster organization for years. It was only in the last century that they started to lose their influence. I don't know the full story, but a while ago, one of our own turned on us and sold us to the Ministry. That shattered our power and we've been struggling to survive ever since."
She paused as she tried to think of the best way to explain everything. Did Tatiana need to know everything though? Nicole wasn't sure and yet she didn't think her recent problems would make sense if she didn't tell Tatiana everything. But there was so much...and where to start?

"My father was named Isaac Parker. He was...flawed," she choked, new unexpected tears rolled down her cheeks, "He was a womanizer, a gambler, a murderer...and a horrible father."
She paused as it felt like something pierced her heart. It felt so wrong talking about him like this. He was her father after all. Shouldn't she feel some kind of warmth towards him?
"He...never hurt me or anything like that...I mean he loved me," she said, not sure if she was trying to convince Tatiana or herself, "But there was always a wall between us. There was something, something that neither of us wanted to acknowledge or get pass. I don't know what it was. I'll never know. I just...I never really felt like his daughter. No matter how many presents he'd get me, no matter how many times he'd offhandedly say that he loved me or introduced me as his daughter...it just didn't feel right. It was like he had some kind of doubt or something. I don't know why..."
She paused with a gasp and wiped away her tears. She had never admitted that to anyone before.
"Anyway, my father and three other family members decided that the old ways weren't working. So they broke off from the family and started their own business in South America. It was in the drug trade," she said watching Tatiana's reaction, "They stayed there for years and did really well...but like i said something went wrong and we had to run. I don't know why but they broke up and my father and i jumped from country to country. We finally settled down in Italy and i was able to resume coming here. During my fourth year, my father got into some trouble with a real bad guy. I don't know the details. I don't know why he was so fucking stupid!"
She was shaking now with rage and her eyes flared.
"I don't know why he had to ruin everything! I don't know who the fuck these guys were, but supposedly they could threaten me even when I was here. So we were on the run again and we thought we had lost them, except we hadn't lost them."

Her face was white now and she was blinking profusely as the scene flashed before her eyes.
"They cornered us in our hotel room. My father told me to grab his suitcase and climb out the back window, he'd be right there. He was going to hold them off until he knew I was safely out of the room and follow me. I wouldn't leave. I couldn't. He was my father and I was scared. I've never fought for my life before-not for real anyway. I mean I dueled with 'Uncle' Julius and 'Uncle' Eric, but they never really tried to kill me," she added with a slightly shrug, "He told me to go. I didn't move. He shoved me towards the window. The door was about to break down. I swung over and just as I was about to climb down the door burst open. My father rushed to meet them. There were a lot of them. I couldn't see their faces. I watched my father duel and that was the first time in my life that i was proud of him," she sniffed, "But they were too strong and he wasn't really a duelist...I watched him die, Tanya, and i didn't even do anything to try and save him. I just sat there and watched like I've done my entire life," she said in a dead whisper, tears pouring down her face, "They turned to face me and i jumped out the window. I broke a couple of bones, and I ran-or tried to. I stumble into an abandoned muggle home and hid, but they were still after me. I knew they were, but i didn't know what to do or who to go to. I was alone. God, Tanya, I've never been that alone before."

Her voice was cracking now and she wasn't sure how much long she could talk before she completely lost it.
"I'm sorry," she blinked, "I didn't mean to ramble and that's not even half the shit that's bothering me now. I just...to understand you need to know everything. I have to tell everything. I'm sorry it's you but i can't hold it in much longer,' she choked reaching out for Tatiana, wanting to know it was okay, wanting to know that she could continue and finally get this nightmare out in the open, "Please...I'm sorry."

Rating: 10pt
Rated by: Martha
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Thanks Val for an awesome sig
For taking and for giving and for playing the game
For praying for my future in the days that remain
Oh lord for that I hold you
Ah but most of all
For cryin' out loud
For that I love you

Member of the Boredom Club With A Boring Name Because We Couldn't Think Of Anything Because We Were So Bored
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Tatiana Mallory
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"By Jove, Tanya, you're a genius! You should win a Nobel Prize for that idea! Oh, thank God there is a cure otherwise i would have thrown myself from the Astronomy tower! Well of course. We all know how much they love me and hate seeing me suffer.""

"Yeah, I know. I pretty much rock," Tatiana said with a casual shrug and a flick of her hair, as if her overwhelming coolness was simply an obvious, scientifically verifiable fact, before the grin returned on her face. She generally had a healthy dose of confidence in herself and her own strengths, but she wasn't quite that presumptuous just yet. "Maybe I've finally found my true calling in life: I should just become a Healer, helping people overcome their own blandness. But don't throw yourself off the Astronomy Tower!" Tanya added, suddenly looking pained with worry. "Where would I ever get another test subject?"

"And you're right about the teachers," she continued, nodding 'wisely'. "There's clearly no measure to how much they love you. I mean, all those detentions for small things like setting first-years's pants on fire," Tanya stated, having no idea whether it was true or not, but figuring it was something that Nicole would do. "You'd think they didn't have better things to do. No, they love you so much, they want to keep you close to their hearts."

Tatiana was literally beginning to feel tired from all the laughter they'd been having. Merlin's beard, were they acting like total idiots or what? It made her wish that she'd met Nicole earlier. Now it seemed a little unfair that they would have to part so soon, although Tanya was sure she would make plenty more friends here at Hogwarts. True, there were plenty of gits around here as well (more often than not Slytherins, though it was false to say that they were the only ones), but you had that at every school, magical or not. And Tanya would know, having attended plenty. Nevertheless, she knew she would miss Nicole and she hadn't even met any of her other friends yet, all of whom were rumoured to be as crazy as her.

"Well my dear, Tanya, that is where you are mistaken. True glamorousness or 'glamourosity' as you boors call it, never goes out of style. So while broomsticks may be glamorous this year, they're not truly glamorous. Only a vase is eternally glamorous. You just don't want to admit that I have outglamourized you."

Tatiana stared with wide, shocked eyes, and let out an indignant, "Ah!" As if she couldn't quite believe Nicolette's nerve, the mere audacity of what she was implying and the words just wouldn't come out. Then, she caved. She let out a dramatic sniff and sigh and turned away, as if horrified. "You are right! Your glamourosity now outshines my own! I have been out-glamoured! Now I have no choice but to follow in your footsteps and throw myself off the Astronomy Tower..."

Really, Tanya began to think an actress was a serious career option they should both consider. Could they possibly behave any more ridiculous?

"But it's also a good thing. You have no idea how long I've needed someone like you. And you can trust me. You don't have to hide anything from me, honestly!"

Their behaviour, however, was still not as ridiculous as the notion that they were both suffering from having stupid, selfish family-members that were accused of crime. And that they had happened to meet each other here, at Hogwarts. What were the odds, really? Perhaps it was only a coincidence, or maybe this castle was just a magnet for weird, dark troubles, given everything she had heard of its history... Or it may have even been fate, instead. Tatiana didn't know, but she did know that Nicole was probably right. Hadn't she herself been wishing for the very same thing for these past few months, the need for someone she could confide in the stronger the more time passed?

"I know..." She said softly, but kindly. "Somehow, I've had that feeling ever since we first met. Like I could tell you everything and you wouldn't judge me. And I'll be here for you too, okay? I promise that." No matter how fucked up her own situation was, Tanya had become more certain than ever that Nicole's was even worse. Though new to this whole experience, she felt a need to reassure her friend. It was strange... This idea that she suddenly wasn't alone. Strange, but not wholly unpleasant.

"Well if he didn't do it, can't he just tell the truth? I mean there isn't any evidence that he did it...is there? I mean....why is he on the run if he didn't do it?"

Despite this opportunity to finally get all her anxiety off her chest, if only once, and despite how much she believed in her father, Nicole's words now made Tatiana clamp shut momentarily. She felt how she drew her arms and legs together and avoided Nicole's gaze, but was not really aware of it at all, as if she was a passenger inside her own body. All her thoughts were now shifted to her father and to the very reason why all of this had happened. Why he had woken her up in the middle of the night and told her that they had to run. Why he had all but dumped her at the airport and shoved that letter in her hand. Why she had crossed an ocean, why she was now living with the Moodies and why she was going to Hogwarts, sitting here, and hadn't heard from her father since. Yes, Tatiana had already considered everything Nicole now brought up, countless times, in fact. She had merely pushed them away, much like how her father had done the same with her and probably for the same reason: they were inconvenient and would've driven them crazy. But she found no more answers than she had the previous times.

Why did they have to flee the country and the Aurors? Couldn't her father have just turned himself in? Wasn't he only admitting his own guilt by running? Of course, Tanya understood that there was far more to this than just the Aurors: there was the crime group that her father and his colleagues had taken the drugs from in the first place. Then he was accused of selling them to a rival organisation when they vanished out of the Auror Office. She knew that, according to her father, this group had been after them as well... But couldn't the Aurors have kept him safe? Couldn't they have kept them both safe? What made his old friend, Caelestis Moody, a Duelling Teacher, a greater person to keep his own daughter safe than his colleagues? As always, Tanya could only come to two conclusions, one of which she simply refused to consider. The other, though...

The silence stretched for a long time, growing rather uncomfortable, until Tatiana finally forced herself to look up and face Nicole. She was surprised how white she had suddenly become and wondered if she looked the same.

"See, that's the problem," she finally replied to Nicole's first question. "I'm starting to think there is. Evidence, I mean. Otherwise, I just don't see why his first reaction was to run. I think he knew... Something. He knew he was going to Pinewood, maybe for the rest of his life if they caught him. An American wizard prison," she added to clarify. She remained thoughtful for another moment, going over everything again, before giving her most likely theory. "I think someone framed him. And he went on the run to find evidence to clear his name."

"Or he went on the run for good, never to return." A voice came, unbidden, from within Tatiana, reminding her of another possibility that she didn't want to believe.

"Tanya, what was your father working on? What did he find out?"

"I don't know!" Tatiana said, bursting out a little louder and angrier than she intended. She wasn't frustrated with Nicole, but with herself for not remembering everything clearly. It had all been such a huge mess at the time. She calmed herself and continued, searching her memory for any detail that could help. "I know he was working on a case that involved some new, magical drug. Illegal potions, something like that. There was some kind of deal. Some smaller group that wanted to sell the stuff to the bigger group. I just can't remember the name... Something with an 'S'. The Sin-something... My father and the other Aurors busted them in the middle of the deal and took it into custody, then it disappeared. They accused my father of having stolen it and selling it to another group."

God, it was all so confusing.

Tatiana's anger slowly vanished, however, as Nicole began to tell her own story. Admittedly, eventhough her own problems sounded absolutely insane to her, she had some trouble believing what Nicole was telling her. But she didn't doubt its veracity: none of this was an act or a joke. She was telling the truth and it shocked her. By the time that Nicole told her of what had happened in the hotel room, Tanya couldn't hold back her own tears. Never, in her wildest dreams, had she thought that she had been hiding so much pain.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ramble and that's not even half the shit that's bothering me now. I just...to understand you need to know everything. I have to tell everything. I'm sorry it's you but i can't hold it in much longer. Please...I'm sorry."

"It's okay... It's okay, alright?" she whispered gently, moving an arm around Nicole as she reached out for her. It was hard for her not to break down too. The lump in her throat made it more difficult. "You can tell me everything, if you want to. I'll listen. Always."

Rating: 10pts
Rated by: Sam
Edited by Nicole Parker, Jul 29 2011, 06:30 PM.
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Falling to pieces, as shattering glass...
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Nicole Parker
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Wanderer

"Yeah, I know. I pretty much rock. Maybe I've finally found my true calling in life: I should just become a Healer, helping people overcome their own blandness. But don't throw yourself off the Astronomy Tower! Where would I ever get another test subject?"

Nicole scoffed as Tatiana revealed her 'true' nature. She always knew that Tatiana was one of those secret snuck up, full of themselves, prima donas. If only it hadn't taken her so long to have proof. Nicole smirked at her own thoughts as Tanya decided to be a blandness healer. That was almost as bad as Nicole's future job-nerd curer. God they were so crazy. It was strange to think that after everything they had been through, they were able to still laugh and joke. Still that was probably the only way they could handle their problems. They could either laugh or curl up in a ball and die. Nicole laughed as the worried look on Tatiana's face. She was really sweet. She didn't deserve whatever she had been through.
"I'm glad you only need me as a test subject. I thought we were friends," sniffed Nicole with an 'evil' grin, "But don't worry. I'll just introduce you to my friends and you'll have plenty of test subjects!"

Nicole laughed as Tatiana confirmed that their teachers loved her. Oh yeah that was it. Everyone knew Nicole was the teacher's favorite student-ever. She raised an eyebrow as Tanya brought up the first year incident. Now how had she heard about that? Well in Nicole's defense the first year had been asking for it. She had enjoyed the little insanity feast and wished they could do more often. It was such a welcome relief to worrying about everything. She used to do this a lot with Cas and Becky, but she hadn't seen her two friends in forever. They really needed a reunion-but what if Becky's new drug state messed up the reunion. Cas had been out of the loop for so long that he would naturally wondered what was wrong with his friend and that would lead to an awkward conversation. Would Cas ever forgive her for destroying Becky? Would Nicole ever forgive herself? God, what had she done? She kept a smile on her face for Tanya's sake, but their funny conversation was starting to lose its charm especially considering what else they were talking about.

"Ah! Your glamourosity now outshines my own! I have been out-glamoured! Now I have no choice but to follow in your footsteps and throw myself off the Astronomy Tower..."

"It took you long enough to realize the truth," Nicole smirked.
For a second she looked scared as Tatiana threatened to throw herself off the tower. This concern quickly turned into laughter and she said, "Then we could jump together, and then all would speak of our love and dedication to each other! It'll be like one of those stupid muggle plays where evil is slaughtered and it's called good literature."

"I know...Somehow, I've had that feeling ever since we first met. Like I could tell you everything and you wouldn't judge me. And I'll be here for you too, okay? I promise that."

Nicole watched Tatiana think it over. She knew that the Gryffindor was scared to share, was in doubt that this was even real, and was wondering if Nicole was going to reveal that this was some cruel joke. Nicole was feeling the same thing, but she was also feeling extreme desperation and anger. She had hidden for too long. She wasn't sure how Tatiana felt, but she wanted to do something. Nicole supposed that it wouldn't have been so bad if her family had allowed her to be part of the business, but they kept her out of it. She was separated from them by some invisible glass, forced to watch them tear each other apart, but never to intercede. That was probably what was killing her the most. She had been forced to watch everything she loved be destroyed. Well she was tired of watching and hiding. She wanted to share, she wanted to act, she wanted to scream. She felt so pent up, so restrained, and she was tired of it. She was seventeen and would be graduating soon. It was time to find her place in the wizarding world. But how could she tell the world who she was, when she didn't even know? She smiled slightly when Tanya reassured her. See this was all she had wanted her whole life. She just wanted someone who would hold her hand and tell her everything would be okay and would understand the conflicting emotions that wracked her soul.
"I know. I felt the same way," Nicole choked, "I just didn't know how to approach you."
She didn't really believe in fate, but she had to admit that it was strange that two people like Tatiana and Nicole would randomly meet at a school with hundreds of students, become good friends, and suffer from family problems almost at the same time. Maybe it was fate or it was simple coincidence. Nicole didn't know and she really didn't care. Tatiana was here and she was willing to listen and for the first time in her life Nicole could reveal her real self and not be afraid of rejection.
"Thank you," she said sincerely, "You may regret that offer later, but thank you."

"See, that's the problem. I'm starting to think there is. Evidence, I mean. Otherwise, I just don't see why his first reaction was to run. I think he knew... Something. He knew he was going to Pinewood, maybe for the rest of his life if they caught him. An American wizard prison. I think someone framed him. And he went on the run to find evidence to clear his name."

Nicole immediately regretted pressing when Tanya fell silent. Damn it, she had done it. She had scared away the only person who would understand her and her problems. Shit. She fought back the bitter tears of disappointment and tried to choke on the words that were bubbling to her mouth. She had been so ready to share. She thought Tanya was the one. Damn it. Her family had been right. No one would understand. She was alone... Always had been. Always would be. Still Tatiana hadn't been raised like that. True her father had recently gotten into some trouble with the law, but they hadn't been raised to hide. Maybe Tatiana had put two and two together? Or maybe she felt that Nicole wouldn't understand. The thought almost made Nicole want to laugh. Then again it was kind of true. Nicole didn't know what it was like to be an Auror or Order member's kid. She only knew the pain of the dark arts. As she had said previously. Tatiana made her see things differently now. She had to try and see things from an Order member's perspective and understand their pain. Wasn't it similar though? No, not really. Was it? She was slightly startled when Tatiana started speaking again. Oh thank God, she hadn't scared her friend away. she frowned as Tatiana revealed her theory. If that was true...but why? Why frame him? What had he found out that was so terrible?
"I am sorry," she muttered, even though she knew they were hollow words, "Do you have any idea who would want to frame him? I mean...I wish him the best of luck."
She gave Tatiana an encouraging smile that didn't match her eyes. If her family was responsible or even partially responsible for this, then Tanya's father's chances of clearing his name were very very small. She had never heard of an Auror who had successfully proven his innocence when 'Uncle' Julius was involved.

"I don't know! I know he was working on a case that involved some new, magical drug. Illegal potions, something like that. There was some kind of deal. Some smaller group that wanted to sell the stuff to the bigger group. I just can't remember the name... Something with an 'S'. The Sin-something... My father and the other Aurors busted them in the middle of the deal and took it into custody, then it disappeared. They accused my father of having stolen it and selling it to another group."

Nicole tried to keep control over her emotions as Tatiana confirmed her suspicions. Her family definitely had something to do with this, but she couldn't tell Tatiana that. Her friend would never forgive her. She frowned slightly as Tatiana mentioned yet another group. How many groups were involved and who the hell were the sin-somethings? The name sounded slightly familiar. She could have sworn that her 'uncle' had let it slip in front of her a few times. God damn it, why couldn't she remember?! Syndicate? Who the hell was that? She strained her memory as she tried to remember. Moody? Not Cael. No the other one. Xavier or something like that. Wait...they were trying to sell drugs to Xavier?! What the hell? This thing was huge! No wonder why 'Uncle' Julius had tracked down 'Uncle' Eric and begged him to help. But what to tell Tanya? It was obviously killing her. Just look as she wrapped her arms around her legs. Nicole gently placed a hand on her knee in an attempt to tell her she wasn't alone. But still, what to tell her? This was a textbook case of screwing an Auror who knew too much over. But why? So what if he managed to get his hands on the drug? Was that really a big deal? Unless of course there was something in the drug, something exotic or special, that could enable the Aurors to trace it to Julius and whoever he was working with. Maybe this someone didn't want to be heard of yet? Nicole hadn't heard a thing about this guy. She had heard of a new member trying to get involved in English territory, but she had not heard of a name yet. She wasn't even sure if 'Uncle' Eric knew. God damn it this was getting to big and too confusing and it wasn't fair! Still she had to tell Tanya something. She deserved to know...and she was Nicole's friend.
"I've heard of this tactic," said Nicole softly, "It's what....we did whenever an Auror stuck his nose where it didn't belong."
Nicole looked down, unable to look her friend in the eye.
"If it's any consolation your father is probably innocent. I just don't know who's trying to frame him or why. He must have known something, something that could have jeopardize the entire operation. I don't know what, though."

"It's okay... It's okay, alright? You can tell me everything, if you want to. I'll listen. Always."

Nicole barely noticed Tatiana's silence as she told her story. In some ways she was thankful that Tanya didn't interrupt her with questions and comments. It was so much easier to just tell her story in one dump then to stop and think and clarify things. Besides she wasn't sure if she could handle answering questions. Simply telling it in one shot nearly killed her emotionally. As she told the story, the worst moments of her life flashed before her eyes. She had always tried to bury them that it was almost surprising she remembered them so clearly. She supposed there were some things that people couldn't forget, no matter how hard they tried. She jumped slightly as Tatiana wrapped an arm around her. She had never felt that before. Well she had never shared her life's story either. She stared at Tatiana in disbelief as her friend tried to comfort her. Was Tatiana crying, because of her and her miserable, fucked up life? She had never meant anyone so compassionate. Nicole gave her a ghost of a grin and said, "Thank you."

Nicole swallowed as she tried to gather her thoughts. God she felt so drained and she wasn't even done yet. She sighed and said, "I eventually managed to heal my wounds, but I was still screwed. I had no place to go and no one to protect me and I just knew those assholes were still after me. I was on the run for at least two weeks if not longer before it finally hit me. I had one 'uncle' who I trusted. He was living here in England. He was an Obscurati member at the time, and he eventually became a Death Eater. He works for the Wizengamot now."
She let out a humorous laugh.
"Don't ask me how he managed that...I'm still trying to figure it out and he won't tell me. He won't tell me anything."
She let out a growl of frustration. He never told her shit. It was almost as if he didn't trust her or love her. She fought back the new threatening tears.
"I knew that he would take care of me and protect me. I just had to convince him to take me in. he's kind of a grump and likes to be alone," she explained, with a small smile.
She knew she probably wasn't making any sense now and she was rambling.
"His name is Eric Banks and he's not really my uncle...he's a family member, but...he's like a father to me," she said breathlessly, feeling a great weight being lifted off her chest as she slowly revealed her true feelings for him, "He IS my father for all intensive purposes. He's the only one who was ever there for me, who actually loved me, who would do anything for me. I love him, Tanya. I love him so much it hurts, but he won't let me. He won't let anyone. He just....he turns his back on everyone just because he's afraid to feel. He'd rather ruin the only good thing in his life than be happy. How can I love someone like that?! I can I trust someone like that?! Because I still love him, despite everything. I'd die for him."
She paused as she tried to gain control of himself.
"I think he might be my real father."
Nicole turned white and gasped as she finally revealed something that had been bothering her since she was old enough to put two and two together.

She looked away for a second, put her face in her hands, and wondered what was wrong with her. How could she say things like that and to a non-family member for Christ's sake. What was wrong with her?! What did it matter if 'Uncle' Eric really was her father? It wouldn't change anything...would it? She didn't know anymore. She didn't think anything would help or matter. She just wanted the nightmare to be over.
"I'm sorry," she choked, looking up, "I didn't mean to ramble. I went to him and he took me in and he took care of me. He also hid everything from me. You know the story though. Varius rose and fell, he survived, Voldemort comes, he joins because it's the only option he has, Voldemort rises and falls, and...for a while i thought I lost him. You have no idea what it's like to be stuck here in this damn castle while he was out there risking his life for some fucking psycho! To be afraid to read the damn paper just in case I saw his name but unable to stay away because I HAD to know. To sit here and listen to fucking Order and Auror brats bragging about their parents and the only thing I could do was grit my teeth. And Voldemort is defeat and I don't hear from him in days. He just disappeared and I seriously thought...Tanya, I've never been so miserable, not even when my real father died. And then he shows up but things are still hellish because the Aurors and Order members are after his ass."
She took in a deep breath before continuing.
"He somehow managed to work a deal with the ministry and he was safe. He had a kid, I had a brother, and we were happy," she said, her face glowing slightly at the happy memory, "I thought that things were going to be different, Tanya. I had a family and my dad...'uncle'...he was safe. I didn't have to worry anymore. I could talk about him without fear. Hell I could actually visit him at work if I wanted to. It's was paradise. I had a mom, a real mom, can you imagine that? And I had a little brother. It was perfect."
Her glowing face disappeared and was replaced by a burning rage.
"But it didn't last. Nothing does. I don't know when it happened, but 'Uncle' Eric returned to crime. He's been helping someone pedal drugs into England. I don't know why! I...i don't understand. We were so damn happy! HE was happy!" she snapped, her eyes burning, "And he just fucking threw it away! Why?! I tried, Tanya, Morgan tried. We all tried and it wasn't good enough! But what I don't understand is that he hated the dark arts! He was fucking miserable. He was suicidal for Christ's sake! And he returns! Why, because Julius needs a favor?! Aren't we more important! Doesn't he care at all?! So now I've got to sit here and worry that the damn Aurors are going to find him! I got to worry about Julius showing up because he's a twisted fucker! Never met anyone worst than him. i just...I don't understand. We had everything, Tanya, everything a normal family should have and now...everything's ruined."
Tears were gushing down her glowing cheeks as her bright blue eyes burned with rage. She had wanted to get that off her chest for a while now. It just wasn't fair and the worst part was that she still loved the bastard. In some ways it almost made sense that he would return to that lifestyle. It was all they knew. All they would ever know. Did that mean she'd be damned to a life of crime as well? Did it even matter? She wasn't sure anymore.
"And that's now even the worst part," she laughed humorlessly, "It gets worst. I gave some of the drugs to one of my best friends and now...she's a druggie and she's ruining her life because of me! So maybe I'm no better than the rest of my family. Maybe we're all doomed to be part of the dark arts."
She sighed.
"I'm sorry, Tanya...I'm sorry for everything."
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Thanks Val for an awesome sig
For taking and for giving and for playing the game
For praying for my future in the days that remain
Oh lord for that I hold you
Ah but most of all
For cryin' out loud
For that I love you

Member of the Boredom Club With A Boring Name Because We Couldn't Think Of Anything Because We Were So Bored
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