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MBC House Show 6-29-06
Topic Started: Jul 22 2006, 04:44 PM (189 Views)
RedRajah
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Shocked Woona is Shocked
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[MBC] HOUSE SHOW REPORT

June 29th, 2006

at: Toyota Center in Houston, TX



The MBC made its first trip to south Texas since it's latest return and I was very excited. The last MBC show I went to in Houston was worth the drive and from what I was hearing about other house shows on the current tour, this one would be the same. I got my tickets early. They weren't the best but at least I didn't have any tall people or people with tall hats sitting in front of me.





RONAN BENEDICT vs. ANIMAL FARM

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This was the first time I ever saw a handicap match at a house show but it was a very neat experience. I liked Ronan Benedict from the match I had seen on House of Bastards and was hoping to get a similar performance here. It was Animal Farm so I figured this wouldn't be much trouble for Ronan. He started off taking Stud Monkey out of the ring and more or less crippled him for the first half of the match. That let him destroy Rat Catcher inside the ring. Both Catcher and Monkey managed to double team Benedict later on but Ronan was too good and too quick. I think he ended up making both of them tap at the same time. I can't explain how really.

WINNER: Ronan Benedict





AMAZING GRACE vs DEAD PEZZY

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Out next came Amazing Grace. Now the crowd already didn't like her. But it took her all of thirty seconds to get them to truly hate her. She trashed the Texans, David Carr, even Earl Campbell. She talked up her Lions and Barry Sanders of course. But once the crowd was foaming at the mouth, she changed direction and said she wasn't going to get showed up by a man beating up two idiots. She claimed she could do the same thing and do it better. So out came Dead Pezzy for ANOTHER handicapped match. She went about it differently but it was definitely entertaining. Grace beat Dead Pezzy easily and left the arena by trashing Vince Young. This woman is just venomous.

WINNER: Amazing Grace





THE BABE SQUAD vs. LEATHER AND LACE

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When I saw the program I wasn't sure who "Leather and Lace" was supposed to be. But then out came Nina Grimsson and Susan Davis. It made perfect sense. Grimsson seemed a bit out of place since the other three women were more about flaunting their looks. Nina is a looker, don't get me wrong but she lets her actions speak for her you know? Anyways, it was a fast paced match. Even Susan Davis was getting off some impressive spots. She's still got a lot to learn though. Nina LaRue hit Davis with her Knockout and got the pin before Grimsson could make the save. Afterwards, the Mockingbird chased the Babe Squad off.

WINNER: The Babe Squad





"HEAVY MENTAL" DAVE PIETKA vs. "HELLRAISER" TOM LANDIS

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This match started with Pietka and Landis mouthing off to one another, which of course turned into a brawl. We love a good brawl in Houston. It went out of the ring, even into the crowd. And that was BEFORE the bell rang. In fact, I don't think the bell even rang for this match to begin. They were so busy fighting all over the place that the referee called the match a no contest. Even still, it was a very entertaining fight to watch.

WINNER: No Contest





MBC WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE MATCH

"TORNADO" TARA SMITH vs. "THE LIONESS" KARI STEVENS

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Kari Stevens came out and got right on the mic to start running down Tara Smith. While she wasn't as vicious as Amazing Grace, the crowd was still booing heavily. Finally Tara Smith came out. She had Katie with her, probably to watch her back. Tara wasted no time on the microphone and went after Kari immediately. It didn't start with a brawl but went into a lot of chain wrestling. I had to rub my eyes a few times so I could keep seeing straight. Hell, a lot of the match was like this, even when Tara Smith started pulling off aerials. Kari tried to use some white powder on Tara but Katie managed to grab it out of Kari's hands. That let Tara hit her with a dropkick to setup the Arizona Rattler.

WINNER: Tara Smith





ROUGH N'READY vs THE SONS OF CACOHPONY

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I had heard that the house show matches between RnR and the SoC were downright legendary. I wouldn't necessarily say that this one was legendary but the match was pretty damn awesome. It was a brawl. A HUGE brawl at that. What was funny is that they weren't pissed at each other or anything. They seemed like they were really enjoying the fight. The guy next to me reminded the people next to him that Somers and the Sons were in the same stable for a while in the UWF so it all made sense. I think you could say it was the match of the night and it seemed like it went on forever. Not that anyone cared that it was long. Everybody in the arena loved it.

WINNER: The Sons of Cacophony





Billy "Scud" McKenzie and Tawni Northern then came out to talk to the crowd and get them hyped up. Scud had one of those T-shirt canons that he couldn't quite get to work right. It ended up knocking him on his ass more than a few times. But everybody loves a bit of Scud Violence. While they were doing this, the crew was setting up two platforms in the ring. That led to something very unusual.



Out came "Hentai" Ryu Osawa. He had Trice with him and they both walked behind one of the platforms. Then came Taylor MacKenzie and her cats. There was a bit of a struggle making sure the cats didn't go after Trice but it didn't take too long. Instead of a match, the two got into a debate.



Yes a debate.



A debate over what was the best pet to have. A cock or a pussy. I swear I haven't heard so much sexual innuendo in my life. Nor have I laughed harder. A few people dumb enough to bring their children ended up storming out but that's what they get if they're going to bring kids to a show like this.



I think my favorite line was when Taylor asked Ryu if he'd rather pet a cock than pet a pussy.



It was incredibly classic. But it didn't end there.



Out came Simon O'Neal. He stated that all the sexual innuendo wasn't what bastardism was all about. That didn't stop him from making his own dirty double entendres as well.



But then came Holly Hotbody. She called Taylor MacKenzie out for not knowing what do even do with... well I don't remember what she said. I was laughing to hard. I do remember however that at some point, Taylor issued a challenge. A tag team match between the team of her and Ryu and the team of Simon and Holly. It was accepted and...





TAYLOR MACKENZIE and "HENTAI" RYU OSAWA

versus

HOLLY HOTBODY and SIMON O'NEAL

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This match wasn't so much about the wrestling as it was about all four of the wrestlers cutting up and having a good time. They wrestled of course but there was a lot of playing up to the audience and sexual innuendo. I know some of the hardcore wrestling fans were getting mad but when you've got a comedy match THIS good, you can't help but laugh.

WINNER: Taylor MacKenzie and Ryu Osawa





TEAM BASTARD CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE MATCH

TEAM CANADA © vs. FURY vs. THE SCHRAM BROTHERS

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After giving us a few minutes to calm down from all the laughter, we were treated to a hell of a main event. I had never seen the Schrams live nor had I seen Fury. So this was a big treat. I was kind of disappointed that I didn't get to see the One-Winged Angel but I heard he was still getting over an injury. Either way, it was a great match. While not as good a brawl as RnR and SoC, this match still held its own. The referee was pretty lenient so hockey sticks, steel chairs and all kinds of crazy crap was getting used. Both Fury and the Schrams came very close to winning the title belts but Hextall and Jablonski were like hawks. They weren't going to let anybody take the belts they had been holding for years. The end came with all six men inside the ring and if my brain saw what I think it saw, then Team Canada hit Jeffrey Schram with a double heart punch and got the pin.

WINNER: Team Canada



We all went home happy. They even got that T-shirt canon to work. I didn't get one but it was still fun to watch people fight over MBC shirts. They didn't say when the MBC would be in Houston again but I figure it won't be soon enough.

And here's where I pretend to be a writer...
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