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Special Features; Rumors, predictions and more!
Topic Started: Nov 3 2005, 12:28 PM (2,520 Views)
IANF
Sir Loin
[ *  *  * ]

Kaiser Breaks Silence, Plots Counter-Offensive

After two weeks of absolute silence, Flowers of Chivalry supremo Kaiser Bill has finally agreed to respond to questions concerning the fate of his troubled stable. Louis XIV had his HVW contract terminated three days after Do Or Die after being found in possession of a half-gram of cocaine and arrested; Chance McKenzie and Sharkey Schultz were later released at the order of President Jeff Stewart. The only wrestlers left under the management of The Kaiser are Vespasian Reed, 22, and Boy, 18. And since reports of a blazing argument with Stewart a fortnight ago, Bill has allegedly imposed a media blackout, training behind locked doors in Harbor Beach; having been cornered by reporters at the Compuware Sports Arena last evening, though, he had this to say when asked about the prospect of the Flowers being cashiered:

"Codswallop, that. Absolute rubbish. How do you come up with that tripe?"

"Be sure, alright, be a hundred per cent positive: I'm not here on my holidays. We may have had a good hiding while the other mobs, with the money they have, came out unscathed, but we aren't going home just yet, no we aren't."

"With the talent we've got, with the brains we have -- I have -- I tell you, we're too good not to make it around here. We may be short of one or two bodies at the moment, yeah, but it won't be long before we sort that out. It's just a case of making sure you get the right ones: and I can pick 'em, believe me."

Rumor has it that The Kaiser has tested the water with a number of current HVW superstars currently contracted to other stables, but no suggestion of whether his proposals were at all successful. The rest of HVW might be well-advised, then, to keep their eyes peeled at Saturday Night in Plymouth; it just may be that their stablemate or partner is carrying around a rose in his bag.

"Don't bloody write me off," is all that The Kaiser would add.

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HackVW
Mitchell!
[ *  *  *  * ]
More managers coming in?

HVW President Jeff Stewart is entertaining the idea of imposing a limit on the size a stable can be. Specifically, Stewart is contemplating setting the limit at no less than three but no more than five people per stable. In the short time HVW has been around, due in part to managers flaking out, HVW has been reduced to four stables, two of which control a strong majority of the promotion.

The imposition of this new rule would obviously have the greatest effect on TDG, which would have to sacrifice at least three of its members. The Status Elite would also be put in a difficult position, with four members who are part-time wrestlers (Jeff Matthews, CUCO Travieso, Brandon Sharpe, and Rob Magnum) in addition to their full-time group (Tim Sanders, Tate Monroe, Wilton Stone, Tim Rivers, and Fabian Dupree).

The remaining two stables would not be able to accept many of the free agents, as The Flowers of Chivalry now have four members, and Team Vicensi has three.
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HackVW
Mitchell!
[ *  *  *  * ]
Vicensi Brothers Gone?!

Team Vicensi manager Carlos Vicensi and his brother, Team Vicensi ace Audifax Vicensi, are rumored to be on the outs with HVW. Evidently, the Vicensis were told that HVW would be more of a traditional mixed-martial arts company, and not a traditional pro-wrestling style promotion. If true, Vicensi would be the fourth founding manager to leave the company: Rob Christie was fired first for conduct unbecoming an HVW manager, Rich Vail was arrested and is presently serving time for a DUI and assaulting a police officer, and Dr. Doran resigned and took a position as a backstage agent. The Vicensis leaving their own stable would be a huge blow to the promotion as well as Tim Turner and Ted Konkewiak, its remaining members. HVW President Jeff Stewart is rumored to be in negotiations with a former on again/off again GLCW star to join the company and take over Team Vicensi, similar to how Jeff Matthews took over The V-Funk All-Stars (now known as The Status Elite) following the arrest of Rich Vail.
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ElNietoDelRickJames
Jerry
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FORMER GLCW CHAMPION TO THROW HIS HAT INTO THE RING AS NEW HEAD OF HVW

Rumor has it that a former GLCW champion has been seriously considering running a third campaign against Stewart and Ruth to be the person to run HVW. Unidentified sources say that this champ does have experience in running a federation and in fact booked most of the GLCW show during the 2002 campaign.

More news as it comes to us
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HackVW
Mitchell!
[ *  *  *  * ]
Confusion in the Valley

Confusion runs rampant these days in the Huron Valley, thanks to the recent press release announcing the opening of RCW. Current HVW President Jeff Stewart went into overdrive today preparing for the return of the River City, the only company in the region that could contend with HVW, and was completely baffled upon being told it wasn't River City Wrestling, but Rip City Wrestling. Stewart is reported to have been on the phone all day trying to verify that the new RCW was not the famed Clint Fletcher run promotion. When he was actually given a copy of the press release to read, Stewart's response is purported to have been "What? What kind of name is ... 1998 was, like, 20 years ago? Disco is dead, pal. The best weekend of my life was when my brother and I crashed this sorority during their rush week, and the President forced a lot of the pledges to sleep with Ollie. It was awesome."
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HackVW
Mitchell!
[ *  *  *  * ]
Say hello... to the new guy!

Rumors running rampant this week around the HVW offices, with the main rumor being that a new stable will debuting on the upcoming edition of HVW Saturday Night. This is a highly controversial move on the part of Jeff Stewart, who recently fired an entire stable under the guise of reducing the size of the roster, but Stewart insists that this new hire was a once in a lifetime move that had to be made. When asked for any clues about the identity of the new manager or anyone in his stable, Stewart had the following to say: "There are those who have said that Great Lakes Championship Wrestling would still be alive today if the rivalry with River City Wrestling had not failed so miserably. It was that whole program that killed the company, and the spirit of professional wrestling in this entire region. Well, this signing is going to revitalize the region, bring it back to life. I'm literally breathing life back into this region, like they are some poor 18 year old girl who swam too far out into Lake Michigan and are covered in seaweed and all blue and gasping for air. Can I give you any clues? Of course I can. Clue number one: you're going to see what happens, and smack yourself on the forehead and say, 'Wow, I can't wait to see what happens next! I love HVW!'. Clue number two: It is awesome. Absolutely awesome. And clue number three: I am in a position where I am able to learn a lot about this business, by making this hire. I mean, I thought I knew a lot already, but ha ha ha, wow, I am finding out I am just as ignorant as Daniel-san was when Mr. Miyagi made him wash all of his cars and paint his fences."
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blibblab
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Administrator
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Tommy Stephens Demands Money!

After watching the last HVW Saturday Night show, Tommy Stephens called up the HVW offices and demanded that they pay him royalties for use of his name. Mr. Stephens stated that he had trademarked his name some month ago and now he requires payment for unauthorized use of said trademark. Mr. Stephens went on further to state that his fee for use of his name is MORE than what Juan Vasquez would have for his fee, if there is such one.

Tommy Stephens then called the next day, asking about the timeline of the payment. He also asked when HVW's management would cave in and pay him the Juan Vasquez-money he "deserves more than Juan Vasquez". Mr. Stephens called a couple more times, to update about the fee payment and contract, as well as to pass on that he's "out Juan Vasquez-ing HVW".
If a wholly Great One rules, the people hardly know that he exists. Lesser men are loved and praised, still lesser ones are feared, still lesser ones are despised. How thoughtful one must be in what one says! The work done, business takes its course, and all people think: "We are free." - Lao Tzu

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free." - Ronald Reagan

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." - Thomas Jefferson
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HackVW
Mitchell!
[ *  *  *  * ]
Front Office Prepares For War

With the recent and unexpected arrival of Chris Blue into Huron Valley Wrestling, and the apparent pro-EMWC status of The Gremlin, there are those in the front office who are legitimately concerned about the future of HVW -- not that it will be sold to EMWC, but that The Gremlin will turn a blind eye to the violent acts of Blue and his cohort. Because of the amount of power that is being given to the managers within the promotion, there are those who theorize that The Gremlin feels that if the other managers -- Kaiser Bill and Jeff Matthews, who were the first to feel the effects of Blue's debut -- cannot take the heat, it is their own fault, not his.

At the same time, there is no feeling among those in the know that those in HVW will be able to put aside their differences and come together to form a united front against Blue. In fact, it may be possible for Blue to "defeat" HVW -- there is _no reason_ for The Status Elite to help out The Flowers of Chivalry; Team Dear God has nothing invested in the future of Eminence. In that sense, it shouldn't be considered as a war between two companies, but potentially between five very volatile and combustible factions. If some, like Team Dear God, cannot get along among themselves, how on Earth could they cooperate against Blue? In a promotion where Tripp Shade has already made himself a mortal enemy of The Status Elite, could he work alongside them to fight Blue? Of course not.

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blibblab
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SHOCKING NEWS! MARK LANGSETH DITCHES EMWC FOR HVW!

In a stunning revelation, EMWC's own Mark Langseth has announced that the next EMWC Showtime will be his last for the federation. He stated that he received an offer that he couldn't refuse. Reports are that an anonymous HVW manager promised him a hefty contract for his services.

"I just feel that the atmosphere for change is in the air. I've got the fever and it's reached HVW-levels, baby!" Asked why he did such an about-face, Langseth stated that he really wanted to work with some of HVW's best. "Oh, definitely. I mean, Tim Sanders? Tripp Shade? Joey-tilde-exclamation mark? I can make some matches of the year, that's for sure."

Langseth, when promted about other alternatives, stated that he was intrigued about the prospect of joining RCW. "Why not? I mean, Madrock's the bees-knees. To be on the 'Wallopin’ Wallaby Welcome' is the PINNACLE of wrestling. Holding a world title is nothing compared to working a match with a man of Madrock the Irrepressible. Irrepressible? Please, he should be Madrock... the Irresistible!"

Asked on his plans for his new home, Mark Langseth said he's "got the itch" to reinvent himself. "I'm planning something big, people! I've got the GAMEPLAN!"




Ha... ha... ha... April Fool's
If a wholly Great One rules, the people hardly know that he exists. Lesser men are loved and praised, still lesser ones are feared, still lesser ones are despised. How thoughtful one must be in what one says! The work done, business takes its course, and all people think: "We are free." - Lao Tzu

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free." - Ronald Reagan

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." - Thomas Jefferson
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BReeses Cup
Master Tree
[ *  * ]
Vasquez Tapes Sell for $6,000!

Hi HVW fans. My name is Elton Hughes. As an HVW executive I usually stay behind the scenes. I've never had a flare for the dramatic, so this is most likely the first and last you'll ever hear from me.

My interest was piqued yesterday when I received a very fascinating piece of HVW fan-mail and I've decided to post it to this message board for you all to see. So... here it is:

"To whom it may concern:

Bryce Jackson here, longtime wrestling fan!! I'm sure you get tons of mail and will probably toss this in the trash along with the hundreds of others and send me some stupid form letter with a poster of Joey~! or something... BUT, I thought this might be of interest.

As I mentioned, I've been a fan of wrestling for years. I've also been an avid tape collector, mainly of my favorite wrestler in history... Juan Vasquez. I have/had just about every match he's ever fought on tape. From his early days fighting scrubs in the indies, to his title wars in RCW. In fact, if it wasn't for Juan Vasquez, I probably never would have even heard of HVW, no offense (I've become a HUGE fan).

Back to the point. Point is... 3 days ago I sold ALL my Vasquez tapes, something I _never_ thought I'd do. I couldn't resist though, with an offer of SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS on the table!!! Now, the reason I write is this:

I got to thinking, "Who spends $6,000 dollars on Juan Vasquez tapes other than a maniac fan like me?" Then I remembered watching a few episodes of HVW Saturday Night on tape and remembered Jack Snyder... how he he's supposed to be this student of the game and of his opponents and whatnot. With the mail-to address being in Michigan (where Snyder must live now) and his upcoming title match, I put two and two together.

Do you think this is possible? Did I sell the tapes to Jack Snyder? Did I just send the largest collection of Vasquez tapes there is... the greatest study guide in the world to the enemy of my hero?

Please tell me this is all just one big cooincidence.

A concerned fan,
Bryce Jackson

P.S.: Juan, I am SO sorry!

P.S.S.: I know you can beat his ass anyway!"
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JeremyS
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MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
BReeses Cup,Apr 5 2006
02:38 PM
Do you think this is possible?  Did I sell the tapes to Jack Snyder? Did I just send the largest collection of Vasquez tapes there is... the greatest study guide in the world to the enemy of my hero?

Please tell me this is all just one big cooincidence. 

A concerned fan,
Bryce Jackson


A Wrestler's Response To The Aforementioned Fan Mail

"Dear Brice Bryse Briyse Fan of HVW,

I heard about you're letter and I wanted to write you to let you know to not worry. It was my cousin Rick who is working near Detroit. He is also a Vazques Vasqeuz fan of the champoin. Its just that Rick isn't to good with convershen between Canadain money and Amercian money, so he thought he was paying Canadain money. Thats like six bucks Americain which is a good deal for that many tapes. Rick is not to smart, but dont worry, he makes good money at his job tracking pacages for the US Postal Servace and can afford teh tapes. Maybe I'll use them to scout Vazques Vaq the champion if I get a tittle match so I won't Tim Sanders it. He's not to smart either though.

I hope this makes you feel better.

Signed,

Ted Konkiewak Konkewiak"
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IANF
Sir Loin
[ *  *  * ]
Kaiser speaks on Draft in interview with HVW-dot-com

Damage Control Center host Erik Covenant managed to obtain Kaiser Bill's reaction to the results of the Draft in an audio interview which was uploaded to HVW-dot-com on the evening of Wednesday, 05 April. His comments on the recent comings and goings in the Flowers of Chivalry are summarized here:

  • On The Flowers' acquisitions in the Draft: "Marvellous. If you'd come t' me a week ago and offered me then what we ended up getting I would've 'ad your bloody 'and off. Some folk might reckon we had to add muscle, toughness or whatever -- but I know I got what I were after: I'm a fight-in-the-dog sorta fella."


  • On Ted Konkewiak: "I was very surprised Konkewiak were still free when I come to take my second pick. He's got this terrific energy on-camera and a wonderful enthusiasm that I think th' HVW audience really engages with -- and that might be something y' could say we lacked: bit of a laff, bit of a good time. But let's do 'im credit: this bloke'll do a job for y' in t' ring n' all."


  • On Alexander Kruger: "I were over the bloody moon when Blue and Matthews passed up on this fella -- whether Alex'd say t' same, I don't know; I 'aven't spoken to 'im yet. I've been after 'im since day one in HVW: he would've been m' first signing if there hadn't been a last-minute delay wi' m' contract, that give Vail the opportunity to steal in and pinch 'im from under m' nose."

    "People said we needed muscle, right? People say we needed toughness? My boy Vespasian Reed wrestled Shane Destiny in GLCW a couple o' year ago. He wrestled Tommy James. And he were even in there with the gaffer 'imself, The Gremlin. If you ask 'im who give 'im the worst 'iding of 'is career -- he'd tell y' it were the lad Kruger. He's a bloody killer in that ring, I tell you."


  • On the departure of Vespasian Reed -- the last original Flower: "Vespasian I never wanted to talk about. He was one of the finest 'uman beings I ever worked with when I were training, great lad; and y' can believe me -- I worked wi' a lot. All we can say is that he wan't sure that his 'eart belonged in this business any more. We needed to cut one person f' this Draft and he came to me in my office and told me it should be him. Now he's back at 'ome in Missouri with his family and I wish 'im all the best in t' world; he knows if and when he decides t' come back t' wrestling, I'll be there t' welcome 'im back."


  • On staying "true" to The Flowers concept with changing personnel: "No problem, that. It's all about who y' pick to be involved -- do they have that spirit, that committment and professionalism that y're looking for. And yes, we might've been through an awkward transition phase in the past few month but I honestly believe we're on th' other side now. We've got better wrestlers, better personalities, better focus -- The Flowers're very much alive and well."


  • On the Draft in general: "Needed to 'appen. Hundred per cent for it, me."

    "I'll come out and say 'ere that no-one else did better out of it than us. Who else can say they picked up the top contenders to two of HVW's singles titles wi' their picks, eh? Add 'em t' the talent we already 'ad -- Vasquez, the champ, Trent Davidson, and a star-in-the-making in Boy -- and there's no-one looks stronger than t' Flowers of Chivalry look right now. Considering how we were a couple o' month ago after Do Or Die -- that's really saying something."

    "Matthews I think'll be pleased with who he got -- toughness o' Wyatt is nigh-legendary in this business from what I heard. T' others might feel like they've took on a bit of a burden, wi' workers who aren't renowned for their passion or focus. Y' know what I'm saying? They might do something extraordinary -- but they might just do one out of 'ere. Me, I know what I'm getting from the first -- two workers who don't need any of the motivating I'll give 'em t' excel."


  • On the fitness of the new Flowers to take on Chris Blue et al in HVW: "I won't pretend like the scale didn't need tippin' in our favour. They 'ad three big, tough workers wi' experience holding titles all over t' world -- and while y' couldn't ask Boy for any more courage, there aren't many eighteen year-olds in this sport y'd back t' handle 'em. We got more experience and even if they 'ave got two fine talents, Tommy and Joey~! aren't out-and-out tough guys."

    "Oh aye. Blue better hadn't expect anything less from me -- from us. Right now we're still playing by 'is rules: I'm not going out t' that ring t' take m' shirt off and get stuck into 'im, as he seems t' think -- my days of dishing it out in t' ring ended eight year ago. But give it a couple o' shows, he'll start t' find out what we're about. And he'll see he i'nt having things all his own way."

Download the MP3 of The Kaiser's interview in full at HVW-dot-com
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HackVW
Mitchell!
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10 Count With Bob Wire: Robert Donovan

BW: What do you feel about being drafted by Team Dear God?

RD: Doesn't bother me a damn bit, Bob. I have to be honest, though, I really didn't give a damn who drafted me -- as long as it wasn't that fuckhole Blue. I'll have to figure out some appropriate way to thank Carla Shade for saving me from going through that bullshit again, I think.

BW: After your brother attacked you with a weedwhacker, are you sure you made the right decision in coming out of retirement?

RD: [laughs] Doesn't seem all that smart, does it, coming out of a two year retirement and getting right in the face of some of the most violent-capable men in the business? Well, Bob, as I've said before, I've never been the smartest guy -- and while there's no way in hell he'd admit it, it's gonna take something a lot worse than a random garden implement to keep my hands off his goddamn throat. [Pause.] Honestly, the first thought that went through my mind after he took that damn thing to my shins was to wonder where the hell he got it.

BW: What are your goals in HVW? Will we see championship gold in your hands again?

RD: I know a lot of guys, especially guys in my situation, coming back from a long layoff, would be quick to say that they have no plans on going after a title of any kind, that it wasn't their place to try to compete for a spot they maybe feel like they haven't earned. My first goal in the Huron Valley is to carve what I'm owed out of Blue's stinking hide, but if I should run across an opportunity in the process, so be it -- I sure as hell won't turn it down. [chuckles] I'd be a big
damn liar if I said I wouldn't mind the feeling of holding championship gold in my hands just one more time before I shuffle off wrestling's mortal coil for good.

BW: Besides the obvious, is there anyone in HVW you'd like to step into the ring with?

RD: That's a damn good question, Bob. There's some serious talent rolling around up here, and I wouldn't mind the chance to step into the ring with a few of them. Alexander Kruger, Tim Sanders, and Juan Vasquez, just to name a few...[laughs]...and even through we're all teammates now, I'd enjoy the chance to wrestle every single one of my stablemates. Now, I know you said "besides the obvious", but I sure as hell am not gonna let a question like this slide without mentioning Team Extreme. I've wrestled with Bobby Taylor and against him, and I've gone a round or two with Courtade as well. As for Adam...don't think
anything more needs to be said there.

BW: What do you think about HVW's "new breed"?

RD: I think it means Huron Valley's got a good future ahead of it. Some awesome younger talent just came in, along with some old broken-down bastards like yours truly that might be able to show some of 'em the way. I wouldn't be surprised if another manager or two didn't show up in the next handful of months to accomodate the talent that's gonna want to get in on this.

BW: You weren't the only big name to come into HVW with the supplemental draft. What do you think about Steve Wyatt?

RD: Steve Wyatt is a tough sumbitch. I've been told by more than one guy already that his nickname, "Hands of Stone" happens to defy wrestling tradition in that it's not self-applied. That guy can knock your damned lights out in one shot if you aren't careful, and sometimes even if you are.

BW: And what about your new stablemate, Johnny Conquest? Did you guys ever bump into each other in LWC?

RD: Actually, Bob, I've never had any kind of dealings with Johnny Conquest aside from the occasionally hello exchanged backstage. In fact, I haven't worked with any of my stablemates anywhere before, so this is gonna be a pretty interesting experience.

BW: Keeping with the TDG theme, Jack Snyder and Grant Stone have been
having some serious problems getting along pretty much since Grant Stone was brought into the company. Now that you're on the same team as both men, do you have anything to say about this rivalry?

RD: To be honest, Bob, I don't consider it to be any business of mine. I know we're all on the same team, and we're all supposed to be on the same page, but the fact is sometimes people just plain don't like each other. Sometimes it's because they've got an issue they need to work out, sometimes it's just something natural, an instinctive hate, if you will. In Stone and Snyder's case...well, I for damn sure hope they can get it worked out, but I'm not gonna play mediator between 'em. They're adults, they're men, and if necessary, we can just lock 'em in a room and let 'em kick the shit out of each other and hope it gets ironed out
that way, I guess. [chuckles]

BW: Hypothetical question: you've got Chris Blue to yourself. He's on his knees, bleeding, begging for mercy. You've got a Singapore cane in hand. What do you do?

RD: What do I do? This answer is gonna shock you, Bob...but the cane hits the ground. I'd toss that thing outside and want nothing to do with it...because I can do a shitload more damage to that son of a bitch with my bare hands than I can with any other weapon.

BW: Same situation, but instead of Chris Blue, it's your brother, Adam Donovan. Do you show him any mercy?

RD: Let me ask you a question, Bob. If a rabid dog comes charging at you, and you have a shovel, are you gonna hesitate to put that dog down in the dirt?

BW: Uh, well...

RD: No, you aren't. You swing for the fences and you knock that dog the fuck out, because a rabid dog's too damn dangerous to give any quarter to. Mercy for my brother? [Pause.] He doesn't deserve it...and Bob, even if he did, the little prick wouldn't want or appreciate it.
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BizMoney
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The Mighty Shooter
[ * ]
A Spy in Team Dear God?!

Hot off the presses with this one!

Is there a mole inside Carla Shade's Team Dear God squad? According to unconfirmed reports, it's possible that at least one member of HVW's dominant stable could be plotting to turn on it, on behalf of Kristoff St. Livingstone's Eminence team (which already boasts 3 former TDGers in Corey Hart, Tripp Shade and Doom XXL.) Remember a few months ago, Jeff Stewart offered up the ruined Stable Select Series trophy to the team that brought down Team Dear God, and apparently Kristoff has his sights set on taking down TDG any way he can!

So who could the possible spy be? I bet you're dying to find out!



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HackVW
Mitchell!
[ *  *  *  * ]

HURON VALLEY WRESTLING ... IN A NATIONAL ORGANIZATION?

With the recent ties to the Empire Wrestling Council, and visits by both The Gremlin and Jeff Stewart to the offices of numerous other new organizations -- including the NTWA and THW -- there are rumors going around that HVW could be attempting to revive the Coast to Coast Wrestling Alliance. The original CCWA was made up of GLCW, the Longhorn Wrestling Council, and Maple Leaf Wrestling.

Said former GLCW President Quentin Vail, panhandling in Dearborn, Michigan -- "What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!"
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