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| [2BNIT] Joshi Jisatsu - Torture Room match; Moira Faith vs. Sonya Benedict | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 29 2008, 10:44 PM (402 Views) | |
| RanmaSolo | Jan 29 2008, 10:44 PM Post #1 |
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Sick Bastard
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Well, I was planning to post this eventually. Now that Ben posted his semi-finals match from Two Bloody Nights I guess it's time. Here, for the first time in public is the OSeW award winning Torture Room match. 46k of blood, guts and glory that inspired me to pull the trigger and open up Paradise Jisatsu Group. ------------------------------------------------- "DING!! DING!! DING!!" [The girls rush forward before the second toll of the bell even begins and wail at each other with fists like hammer blows!] JR: Good GOD the animosity between these two is off the scale! DD: Just wait, they're gonna end up kissing reeeally soon. JR: Um, I don't think so. DD: That's how ALL chick fights end. JR: ...I think you're thinking of Foxy Boxing. This is Joshi Jisatsu... [Sonya gets an advantage with quick boot to the knee and savagely drives her own knee into Moira's downturned face! She follows up with a knife edge chop!] "SMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!" DD: Same diff- Oh my God! She just about took her TITS off! JR: Who's going to be kissing who, now? DD: Your mother's going to kiss my penis. JR: You're a douche bag. DD: At least I get inside a pussy before I squirt. [Sonya drives a jumping knee into Moira's chest and knocks the wind out of her, visibly.] JR: Sonya out to a quick lead and she just throws Moira down to the mat and into all that leftover glass and tacks and who the hell knows what! DD: I think we have blood, but it's hard to tell with Moira's mostly red outfit. Man, that's sexy. JR: Sonya climbing the turnbuckle to try and grab a weapon all ready! She wants to mete out a little bit of revenge! Look at that sick bastard Caine staring at Sonya through the cage. DD: Hey, he's got one eye, too. What, is a convention in town? [There's a singapore cane, a whiffle ball bat covered in thumb tacks and a cardboard box all hanging off one hook and Sonya grabs the cane using it to lift the tie over the hook and get the weapons loose.] JR: Look out Sonya! Moira coming from behind and has a hold of her foot! Trying to yank her off the top rope! DD: She's got those weapons loose but can't really use them until she detatches them from each other! JR: Whatever is in that box isn't very heavy, cause Sonya just swung it like a mace at Moira's head! She stomps down at it! Again! But Moira won't let go! [Moira pulls at Sonya's leg and Benedict drops crotch first down onto the turnbuckle, Moira yanks her by her bald head down and into the tree of woe.] DD: All right what's in the box!? [Moira has the cardboard box and begins to pull it open.] JR: That woman is EVIL... Look at the smile on her face! What IS in there!? DD: Dude those are dried sea urchins or something! JR: Where did we get THOSE!? [Moira starts to swing the cane into Sonya's stomach, but she does a sit up to get back on the turnbuckle.] DD: Sonya dodges! JR: And now she's to her feet and leaps backward! BACKFLIP KICK! PELE STYLE! She nearly landed on her feet! DD: She's going after the thumbtack whiffle bat! This is getting good fast! I mean, I wish they were gonna kiss, but I think you're right about how this one ends. JR: In a hospital? [Sonya winds up and smacks Moira in the face with the bat as the Asian girl sits up!] "TTTHHHWAAAAAAAAAAACK!!" [Then the stomach!] "TTTHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!" DD: Fuck yeah. And then they'll get the hot lesbian nurse to give them an "erotic" sponge bath. JR: ::Sigh:: You know they both have boyfriends who could kill you, right? [Sonya rolls Moira over with her boots and Faith begins to get to her knees. Sonya smacks her across the ribs with the bat!] "TTTHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!" DD: Yeah. But on the other hand I bought a pair of Moira's panties for fifty bucks from Caine last night. [Moira is standing on her knees, one hand holding her stomach while she drives a punch into Sonya's gut with the other! And another!] "PUNCH BLOCKED BY THUMBTACK WHIFFLE BAT FACE POP!" JR: Jesus, he's worse than I thought! DD: Yeah. I mean she didn't even... You know... In them... JR: Oh shut up! Sonya with a kick to the back of the end puts Moira back on her hands and knees! Now she slides that bat under Moira's stomach! DD: This shit is kinky! "THUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!" "HO-LY SHIT!! HO-LY SHIT!!" "HO-LY SHIT!! HO-LY SHIT!!" JR: BIG standing double foot stomp flattens Faith atop that whiffle bat! [Moira rolls around screaming in pain, she has to literally pull the bat off her skin.] DD: It's like a North Carolina abortion. JR: Moira rolling to the outside of the ring and here comes Sonya right after her! Baseball slid- No it missed! "HEEL POP!" DD: She timed that elbow to the head PERFECTLY! JR: Moira catches Sonya RIGHT as she clears the apron and trapped her head against it! Now she irish whips the Floridian into the barbed wire cage! [Sonya slams face first into it and there's Caine _right_ there to grin in her face! She shoots a hand through to grab at him and Moira spins Sonya around!] JR: And Faith traps Sonya's arm in the barbed wire! Shredding that fishnet stocking she wears over her left arm! Now Moira with a high kick right to that extended shoulder! [The fans boo loudly, but then roar in appreciation at the first visible sign of blood! Sonya's arm is cut in many places!] DD: The crimson is flowing! JR: Moira points at one of the Maidens! This is where it gets interesting! Four Iron Maidens! A one minute penalty each time you're put in one and if you get out before the time is up it's tantamount to submission! DD: And each one has something different in it! JR: I'm not even sure what's in each of them myself! But there we go... This one is full of... BARBED WI- NO! BARBED _AND_ RAZOR WIRE! [Faith signal to the ref to open it and she begins running Sonya towards it and tries to flip her over right into it, but Sonya stops herself!] DD: No, no, no, she's going in! JR: Not yet she isn't! A series of punches trying to get away from Moira Faith, but instead Faith drives her own head into Sonya's! Headbutt! Another! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" DD: Wow! I've never seen a drop kick that nice! JR: Faith gets a delighted reaction for a DROP KICK from the most blood thirsty crowd I've ever seen! DD: She uh, DID drop kick her into a lexan coffin full of barbed and razor wire. JR: ...True. [Moira slams the lid closed and proceeds to sit on top of it, smiling nastily down at Sonya!] DD: The ref has his stopwatch and if Sonya tries to get out of that coffin before one minute is up it will be ruled a forfeit of the match! JR: Look at how much of that wire is in there! Sonya is being buried in it, the lid covered entirely by razor wire as it presses down on her it's just making slices all over her body! DD: We're twenty seconds in and she's just laying there. JR: Well, yeah, the more she moves the worse it gets! DD: But you can just imagine she wants to jump out and strangle Faith. The girl who shaved her head and fucked up Ronnie Benedict is RIGHT there, in arm's reach. Smiling at her. JR: Moira and Caine... And Myra, that whole group is brilliant when it comes to torture both physical and psychological. DD: It's too bad we don't have a big monitor with the time up for the fans to see. You know cause like that might be convenient or condusive to getting them more into the match. JR: Hey! Hey! You wanna pay for that? Jacob Cross put it all into the ring, no flash all substance here! DD: We coulda at least got one of those egg timers with big numbers or something. [The ref raises both hands with all fingers raised and then lowers one, another... The crowd catches on and starts counting along!] "SIX!" "FIVE!" JR: How about that? That work for you? The crowd interaction you were looking for? "FOUR!" DD: ... JR: Yeah, that's right, I can bust your balls too... I just don't do it as often because they're so hard to find! "THREE!" DD: ...! JR: Our official is telling Faith to get off the lid, but she's not moving yet. "TWO!" "ONE!" DD: I'll kill you while you sleep, Rodgers. JR: Empty threats! Sonya trying to get out of the Iron Maide but Faith won't move yet! The ref is now pulling the lid up with Sonya and Faith finally slides off. DD: Benedict is hesitent just to climb out of there. She's tangled up in the wire a bit, at least her hair isn't getting ca- Oh right, she got her head shaaaved. Hehe. JR: That's mean, but... Well, i guess it IS an advantage now. Faith grabs Sonya and yanks her out! Going immediately towards the next Maiden! She's looking to take a tour! [Moira brings her all the way over and kicks the lid open... There's a clear liquid inside about 3-4 inches deep!] DD: Oh my God, I think that's rubbing alcohol! In fact I'm sure it is. JR: Faith tries to snap mare Sonya over, but she back peddles quickly! And now into the ring, calling Faith to come after her! DD: Smart strategy. In the ring she was in control all most the whole time. JR: Faith climbs up to the apron to oblige her and Sonya immediately grabs her opponent! She takes a handfull of hair and an underhook and flings her over the ropes and into the center of the ring! DD: She's got that singapore cane! "THHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!" DD: HOLY SHIT! She busted it in ONE SHOT! JR: That's crazy! And now she's got her by the hair... Pulling her head back and is gonna drive that splintered wood into her forehead! "SICK POP!" DD: Faith bleeding from the head now! JR: Sonya grinding that wood in there! And now a kick to the ribs! A kick to the back of the head and now she pulls her up and whips her into the corner! DD: Sonya's so pissed off, I don't think she's even thinking straight. JR: She can't be, now going for the weapons again. This time a chair! DD: Gonna try and smash Moira's face in! JR: No, she's gonna crack it across her knee! "CRAAAAAAAAAACK!" DD: Gonna go to town on her it looks like! "CRAAAAAAAAAACK!" "CRAAAAAAAAAACK!" "CRAAAAAAAAAACK!" "CRAAAAAAAAAACK!" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" JR: FOUR RAPID CHAIR SHOTS ALL OVER FAITH! Her knee! Her back! Her HAND for God's sake! HER HAND! "CRAAAAAAAAAACK!" "CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" DD: Plays golf with her head! JR: Then Faith tries to roll away and gets it across the shoulder for her trouble! That chair is starting to get bent out of shape! "_CCRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKK!_" DD: That chair is fucking RUINED! [The fans go crazy with applause and screams for Sonya who holds up the mangled chair covered in Faith's blood. She tosses it aside and pulls Faith up to her knees by her hair.] JR: Sonya growling in rage at the face of the woman who's done so much to her... To her family... Oh shit! "SAVAGRY FACE POP!" DD: TOLD YOU THEY'D END UP KISSING! JR: SHE'S BITING HER FUCKING LIP! DD: She's just doing it right! [Sonya pulls back, not letting go of the other girl's lip! Faith slaps at Sonya's face, trying to get her to stop but it doesn't work!] JR: Eye gouge! Faith digs into Sonya's eyes and gets herself out of the bite! She crawls backwards and both women up to their feet! DD: Trading punches again! This is the part where the color man would say it's breaking down, except we just got done watching Sonya Benedict try and eat Moira Faith's lower lip! JR: Very astute, Dirk! Faith is gaining the advantage and pushes Sonya towards the ropes! Now she drives her knee into the bread basket of Benedict! DD: Wanna explain that reference from nineteen-fifty to those of us born in the last forty years? JR: Japanese leg roll clutch! "BIZARRE/WHAT THE FUCK/GET THAT WRESTLING SHIT OUT OF HERE HEEL POP!" DD: Is that the most technical move we've seen in Texarkana? JR: I think so! It shocked the ref so much he's just now dropping for the count! ONE! TW- HUGE KICKOUT! "POP!" DD: Faith is crafty, that came out of no where! JR: A little early in the match for pins, but with the state of anger Sonya's in, it might just have worked! Now Moira going to work on Sonya's leg, kicking the back of her quad muscle! DD: I didn't think this could get any hotter, but now Moira's spreading Sonya's legs to- Hey is that a hole in Sonya's shorts? Hehe! JR: Moira stretching Sonya's leg out steps around in a spinning toe hold! UPKICK CATCHES MOIRA! [Sonya scrambles to her feet and bullrushes Moira!] DD: Thesz press! JR: Raining down on Moira with punches! Now she's moving to the apron and I think she's about to fly! [Sonya jumps up to the top rope stopping and standing tall! She reaches and just grabs onto one of the hanging weapons! It's a computer keyboard and she pulls it down then leaps again!] "THUUUUD!" "BIG POP!" JR: ARABIAN QWERTY BUSTER! DD: Is that a keyboard joke? JR: Yes. DD: So lame. JR: Sonya going for the pinfall no- No, thinking better of it before she even gets a one! [Sonya points to the corner with one of the Maidens!] DD: She knows what she wants! She wants some PAIN! JR: She's pointing right at the same Iron Maiden she was trapped in and now dragging Faith by the hair... I think she wants to tear out Moira's hair before this match is done! DD: Hunk by bloody hunk I would guess. I thought the guys on this show were sick, these bitches are just out and out mean! JR: Faith rolls up and catches Sonya's arm! Cross armbreaker! Sonya power lifts Faith up and drops her down onto her back! She tries again but Faith lets go and Sonya stumbles! [Moira then kicks Sonya in the knee cap!] DD: Back to work on the leg! Trying for takedown but Sonya's holding onto the ropes. Not smart. JR: No! Faith drags Sonya's legs out from under her and now Stretches her over the canvas! Yanks! [Sonya tucks her legs close to her chest and somehow turns into a complete back flip! She lands right on her feet!] "FLIPPY STUFF POP!" "THWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!" "HEEL POP!" DD: That was awesome! Faith planned that perfectly! JR: HUGE kick to the knee brings Sonya to the mat and now Faith continues to work her over. Dragging her to the center of the ring. DD: I never thought I'd be into moves that didn't involve somebody killing themselves to hurt their opponents, but this shit Faith is doing is kinda cool! JR: Moira is well versed in traditional wrestling, raised from a VERY early age to be a wrestler by her mother, Moira is literally a ten year veteran and she's only twenty-four! [Moira pulls Sonya's leg up and places her own knee behind Benedict's. She then leaps up and drives both knees to the mat!] DD: Damn. That's crazy. The Japanese are fucking crazy! JR: No shit. Moira Faith going to try and lock in a Texas Clover- No! Kurenai Kuracchi! DD: The hootchie cootchy what? JR: Kurenai Kuracchi! It's a combination cloverleaf and achilles tendon lock! [Sonya tries to escape but with no technical skills she at a loss. The ropes are no help and so she grits her teeth and looks around desperately!] DD: Why'd she name it after her box? JR: It means Crimson Clutch if I remember right. DD: Exactly! Caine must like to ride the red wave. Fuck he's a dirty, dirty bastard! JR: You're up there, Dirk, you're up there. [She sees something and starts trying to crawl for it!] DD: She knows there's no rope breaks right? JR: I'm sure- Oh I see what she wants! She wants that piece of the cane she broke earlier! Faith tweaking Sonya's ankle with all her might! [Sonya inches closer and the fans begin to cheer her on!] "LET'S GO SONYA! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!" "LET'S GO SONYA! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!" "LET'S GO SONYA! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!" DD: I thought the most we'd get out these guys during this match was, "show your tits" chants. JR: I guess they came for wre- Well, I guess they didn't come for tits. DD: Hey, be fair, men always come for tits. Hah, get it? JR: ... Yes. {Closer! ...Closer! .......!] "STABBY FACE POP!" DD: She got it! JR: And now she's stabbing it into Moira's hand! Over and over! But Faith won't let go! She's trying to get the win now! NOW SONYA GOES AFTER MOIRA'S KNEE! SHE JABS IT UP UNDER THE BACK OF HER KNEE! DD: THAT got a reaction! You'd think she stuck it in her- JR: Quit it! DD: Eye. [Moira lets go finally and kicks at Sonya to get some distance from the splintery stabbing implement.] JR: ...Oh. DD: You know, or her vag. JR: Yeeah. Sorry women who are- Who am I kidding? Sorry overly sensative males who are viewing this with friends. DD: Women watching? Hahaha. You're FUNNY! [The girls are both slow to get to their feet, Moira looks cagey. As if planning something. With Sonya limping just slightly she starts to circle around the bald headed Benedict.] JR: Moira shoots in to try and clip that hurt knee but Sonya drops an elbow down across her back and both pop back to their feet! DD: It looks like Sonya did all most as much damage to FAITH'S leg. JR: It did get STABBED. DD: Not with like a knife or anything. JR: You are so jaded. Moira forces a tie up! Sonya's trying to kick her way out of it but Faith keeps her tied up and moves into the ropes! She scrambles for another hold! [Moira quickly tries three or four different lock up attempts before-] JR: She's got her for an exploder suplex! No! Sonya caught her foot under the bottom rope! DD: And now she's got a hold of Faith behind the head! JR: Sonya quickly ducks out and drops off the apron! Faith catches her throat on the ropes! Now Sonya pulls her out by the feet and has just her upper torso on the apron- "HUGE FACE POP!" DD: Gonna take more than her tits off now! JR: Slingshot! All that extra force SLAMMED Faith into the bottom rope and now she's having trouble breathing! Sonya's up and- Here comes the Maiden again! [Sonya walks right past the rubbing alcohol Maiden and straight for the barbed/razor wire Maiden. The referee opens the lid and Sonya smiles widely as she stand faith right at the edge of it... Takes a step back and moves forward with as much momentum as she can gather!] "THHHWWWAAAAAAAAACK!!" DD: YAKUZA KICK! I think she chipped one of Faith's teeth! JR: Sonya stomps Moira down into the coffin and SLAMS the lid shut! She's trapped in there for one full minute now! And if she climbs out before then she forfeits the match! [Sonya begins stalking around the Maiden. She clenches and unclenches her fists.] DD: She's taking this too personal. JR: It doesn't GET more personal than this fight, Dirk. Moira Faith hurt Sonya's FAMILY! She went for the THROAT! DD: Oh, yeah. Dude, I totally forgot about that. I've just been sitting here thinking how much better this is than the last time I saw two women wrestling. [She shoves the Maiden with her foot, rocking it on the ground and making Faith screech in pain as all the barbs and razors are jostled against her skin!] JR: I won't sell these women short, by any means, Dirk! This IS a great match and it's not even over yet! DD: Yeah they haven't used the other three Iron Maidens at all! [Sonya screams "That's right!" at her and then suddenly looks up. Caine Tainer is leering at her through the cage. He licks his lips and Sonya looks ill! She then growls and kicks the Maiden again!] JR: And you know they both want to make their opponent be the first one to suffer that fate! DD: Caine's enjoying the hell out of this! He's laughing at his woman being TORTURED! JR: He does it HIMSELF when he REALLY wants to have fun, Dirk. He sewed that girl's eye SHUT! DD: Daamn! [Sonya looks infuriated that she can't get under Caine's skin and suddenly she snaps! She kneels down and actually starts lifting up the Iron Maiden!] DD: Oh! DAMN! What's Sonya doing!? JR: I don't know but she's being warned to stop! "MEGA FACE POP!" "HO-LY SHIT!! HO-LY SHIT!!" "HO-LY SHIT!! HO-LY SHIT!!" "HO-LY SHIT!! HO-LY SHIT!!" "HO-LY SHIT!! HO-LY SHIT!!" JR: SONYA LIFTED THE IRON MAIDEN TO A VERTICAL AND THEN SHOVED IT AS HARD AS SHE COULD INTO THE CORNER POST! MOIRA FAITH FELL OUT AND IS LYING IN A POOL OF HER OWN BLOOD! [As it fell you could see Moira sliding down the mass of razor wire on the lid! Slicing her open worse than anything so far.] DD: Sonya doesn't WIN because of that does she!? JR: I don't know! The referee is yelling at her- but... I don't know, DOES she!? Faith exited before a minute was up... I- No, it looks like that's a no- but... The referee is asking for a microphone. [The ref taps the mic and gets a heel pop as it hisses and pops under his finger!] REFEREE: Sonya Benedict is being assigned a twenty second PENALTY in the Iron Maiden-! "ULTRA HEEL HEAT!" [The rest of what the ref says is lost amid the booing of the fans. Sonya looks upset, but isn't arguing.] DD: Harsh! JR: I'm getting word that both competitors were informed before hand if they forcibly ejected an opponent from or hindered an exit from one of the Maidens by their opponent, that they would get a penalty! Either the time remaining before their opponent was supposed to get out or a full minute for stopping them from getting out. DD: Well, I don't think she's choosing the wire coffin. [Indeed the hastily built Iron Maiden has lost a wall in the tumble and the barbed and razor wire is now a large mess on the floor behind Faith.] JR: Sonya's looking over her choices... We have Rubbing Alcohol... She's moving on to the next... Broken glass and I think that's ROCK salt... WITH a pane of glass over it! And- Oh shit! DD: No fucking way! The fourth Iron Maiden- JR: IS A PIRAHNA TANK! [Sonya's eyes widen and she looks back at the broken glass and...] DD: Looks like she's taking a bath! JR: Sonya Benedict is choosing to immerse herself in rubbing alcohol! I think she just wants to avoid any more cuts! Or being eaten! Logically the only correct choice IS the rubbing alcohol painful as it may be! [Sonya steps into the Iron Maiden and slowly lowers herself into it... Once sitting she quickly lays back and screams out in agony. Then she goes stiff trying not to move at all!] DD: Faith is just now starting to get up, Caine's trying to get her attention... Shit, she's a fucking mess. JR: I've never seen a woman with a crimson mask like that. [Faith puts a hand to her face and grimaces in pain, she pulls her hand away and looks at her arm as blood begins to drip off her elbow. She pulls her arm into her body and starts looking around. She sees Sonya in the Iron Maiden and begins to laugh. Inspite of the barbed wire she leans against the cage to make her way over to the Maiden.] DD: Faith and Caine are talking something over as they make their way across the floor... What do you think they have in mind? JR: Nothing good after what Sonya did just- Penalty time is over signals the referee! [Sonya shoves the lid open with a shaking hand and quickly rolls out! She's still soaking wet and the rubbing alcohol drips off the back of her clothing. In the Maiden the once clear liquid is bright pink.] DD: Moira's a mess, but Sonya ain't no untouched virgin either. That thing looks like a birthing tub. JR: How would you know? DD: Porn is a wonderful teaching tool. JR: OH GOD! That's- OH GOD! CAINE HAS SONYA! "MASSIVE HEEL POP!" DD: He just reached through the cage and grabbed a fist full of her shorts! Yanked her back and now he's got an arm around her neck! JR: What's Moria doi- Oh no! DD: OH YES! SLICE AND DICE! SLICE AND DICE! [Moira reaches under her skirt and comes out with two long black handled straight razors. She whips open the long blades and takes a moment to savor the looks on Sonya's face.] "YOU SICK FUCK!!" "YOU SICK FUCK!!" "YOU SICK FUCK!!" "YOU SICK FUCK!!" "YOU SICK FUCK!!" "YOU SICK FUCK!!" JR: MOIRA FAITH IS SLASHING AT SONYA'S FACE! THE ONLY THING PROTECTING HER... IS HER BARE ARMS! SHE KICKS UP AND KNOCKS ONE OF THE BLADES OUT OF MOIRA'S HAND! BUT SHE CUTS HER LEG WITH THE OTHER! DD: She can't even run away! Holy shit! "HERO TO THE FUCKING RESCUE POP!" JR: HERE COMES BACKUP! SONYA'S BOYFRIEND CHAD GRIMSSON! I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS HERE! DD: Shit, neither did I... [He comes charging down to the ring side area and is on Caine Tainer like a fucking missle.] JR: The big man rips Tainer away from the cage and his girlfriend and LEVELS him with a lariat! DD: Turned him inside fucking out! JR: Now he yanks him up and he tries to run away but Chad has a tight hold of him and- MASSIVE RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! [Caine somehow stumbles halfway to his feet and sprints drunkenly towards the exit! Chad follows him and tackles him down! He starts to pound him with a double axe handle but Caine brings his knee up low into's Chad's crotch!] "MALE SYMPATHY GROAN!" DD: Rack'em up! One time, one time! I don't normally approve of testicle pain, but I think Caine is in direct fear for his life so it's acceptable! JR: Back in the cage Moira is trying to put Sonya into the rubbing alcohol Iron Maiden! She slams her head into the closed lid and opens it again! She pushes but Sonya resists! Both women are weak from the blood loss! [In the aisle Caine staggers away, Chad hobbles along behind him in obvious pain, but a determined look of steel in his eyes!] DD: He must be strong like BULL to even be half standing after that knee! JR: He's got strong motivation! Caine's escaping backstage thou- "CLLAAAAAAAANG!!" DD: Woah! Caine just got waffled by a chair shot- But by who!? JR: Erik Grimsson maybe!? [Moira gives up on the rubbing alcohol Iron Maiden and instead slams Sonya head first into the cage then drags her towards the broken glass Iron Maiden. She looks up and sees something that catches her eye! She begins to climb up towards it.] "SHOCKED POP!" DD: It's MYRA Benedict! [Chad Grimsson looks at her funny, but isn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead he shakes his head at her and starts pounding Caine and moving him towards the back and out of sight.] JR: Chad chalking it up to Myra's craziness... Though I bet he'd like to pop her in the mouth too, except I'm sure Sonya wants that honor all to herself! DD: I'd- Wait, does she have a boyfriend? [It's a BLOODHORN! The combination scythe and crowbar is well known as Myra Benedict's favored weapon and the symbol of her mentor's dojo.] JR: Um, maybe Sean Malcomb? I don't know. I don't keep that close a tab on the romances of our business. DD: Oh shit, that dude's fucking nuts. I'd like to do aboslutely nothing but respect his lovely girlfriend Myra. JR: Heh. Myra sticking around I guess... She's setting up that chair halfway down the aisle and taking a seat. [Moira just about has her hands on it when Sonya shakes the cage and one of Moira's feet slip! Still she reaches out for it!] DD: Sonya BETTER stop Moira from getting that thing, it looks like fucking horror movie prop. Some Hostel or Saw shit! JR: Moira has her hands on it! BUT SONYA CLIMBS UP UNDERNEATH HER AND GRABS ON! [Sonya begins to climb OVER Moira! Both women dangle precariously over the broken glass Iron Maiden with the pane of glass over the open coffin!] DD: Somebody's about to get fucked up! [Sonya gets one leg over Moira's shoulder and grabs onto the cage with her hands, trying to get Moira to let go of the Bloodhorn! The only thing holding her in the air still!] JR: Whoever's grip gives out first is probably getting put in that Iron Maiden! And they're easily seven feet in the air... Sonya maybe ten! [Sonya gets her other leg up and you can see her flexing her torso to try and pry Moira loose and downwards!] DD: Like I said... FUCKED UP! [They hang and as they do, Sonya throws her weight backwards trying to flip Moira Faith over backwards... But Sonya's grip with her legs is faltering too!! Sonya throws her weight backwards again! ...down... ...down... "SSSSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" "INSANE HARDCORE POP!!" JR: SUPER HEADSPIKE 'RANA FROM OFF THE CELL WALL! MOIRA THROUGH THE GLASS! INTO THE MAIDEN! [The Bloodhorn lays on the floor outside the Maiden and Sonya kicks Moira's limp leg into the Iron Maiden and shuts the lid!] DD: Moira is delirious! I think she's trying to get out! JR: I'd chalk that up as BRILLIANT if she was actually trying to get out, I just don't think she knows where she is! DD: These are WOMEN. Like... Holy shit... I'm jaded, but this is kinda fucking with my head! I think I all most don't want to watch! JR: Key word being all most? DD: Fuck yeah! JR: Thought so. We're about halfway through her time and Faith has a hand out of the Maiden! [Faith has indeed pushed her left hand up between the lid and the rest of the Maiden. She seems to be trying to pull herself up, but is having no luck of it.] DD: You know what we forgot? JR: What? DD: There's also ROCK salt in that bitch! JR: Oh my GOD you're RIGHT! We're down to about ten seconds I think... DD: ... JR: ...No, ten seconds now! [The ref raises his hands and the crowd begins to count with him!] "TEN!" "NINE!" DD: I think Sonya is gonna win it right after this. "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" JR: Really? DD: Moira ain't getting up. "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" JR: I don't know. She's TOUGH. DD: Bitch is DEAD. "THREE!" "TWO!" JR: You might be right... We're about to find out! "ONE!" "ZERO!" [The crowd gets quiet waiting for something to happen... Sonya to make a move... Faith to exit the Maiden... The cameras show a close up of Myra Benedict, deeply into the match, staring.] DD: ...And that's the Death Match for you. Big action, huge excitement... Sometimes nothing happens. JR: I hope we won't have to call this match, but neither woman has moved much during that full minute Faith has been in the Iron Maiden... I mean, she got a hand out but nothing since! [As if on cue, Moira begins to lift her shoulder and edge it up onto the lip of the coffin. Crawling vveeeeerrrry slowly out of the Iron Maiden.] "SHE'S NOT DEAD RELIEF POP!" JR: These fans showing Faith a bit of respect, earned I say! DD: She's tougher than Barbed Wire Ken or some of those other guys who got smashed in the first round! "MEGA FACE POP!" JR: And now Sonya Benedict stirring! She grabs the ring apron and tries to pull herself up- She's up! DD: Moira standing in the Maiden, Sonya leaning against the ring, and HATE STARE!! JR: They charge at each other and- Where do they get the energy to throw bombs like that!? [Moira and Sonya each have one handful of their opponent's ring gear and the other is pounding blood soaked knuckles into bloodier faces!] DD: The only thing I can compare this to is like the Macy's sale in the middle of Compton. JR: Moira checks a low kick and she catches a mid-kick! Sonya's really lost some juice, normally her kicks are enough to shatter bones! DD: Moira's like dancing with her. Hot! [Moira has hold of one of Sonya's legs, but hasn't let go of her turquiose and blood soaked sports bra strap either! She circles around keeping her off balance, Sonya has to flail her arms so as not to fall!] "THUD!" JR: Dragon screw leg whip into the cage! Moira stays attached to that leg, pulling Sonya up, she's going for another dragon screw! She gets it! DD: Straight to the concrete this time! She's gonna try for a third! JR: Hey! She's moving her towards the rubbing alcohol Iron Maiden! [Sonya notices this too and begins try and hop backwards, away from Moira's grasp but her boot stays trapped between Moria's arm and body!] DD: She's really thrashing around now! "ANTICIPATION POP!" JR: MOIRA TURNS INTO IT- "RELIEF POP!" DD: She went limp! JR: She fell to the floor and got spun bodily into the SIDE of the Maiden but not actually put in! "HARDCORE POP!" DD: OH! It just sloshed out over her anyway! [Sonya rolls over, trying to get the alcohol out of her eyes from where the wave of it splashed over the side of the Maiden! Meanwhile Moira goes hunting for something!] JR: Moira into the ring now... She's going after- Oh! Those urchins and the chair! I don't know what she expects to do with the CHAIR though. DD: That's thing looks like mechagodzilla ate it and then shat it out. JR: Moira tosses it out of the ring and nails Sonya with it... So that's one thing you can do I guess! [Moira climbs out of the ring and grabs the cardboard box and now walks over to the Iron Maiden, she lifts the lid... And upturns the box over it!] "ANTICIPATION POP!" DD: It's like Wildlife Rescue on Animal Planet! JR: You watch Animal Planet? DD: Fuck yeah, Meerkat Manor is hardcore! JR: Ookay. Moira is setting up the chair... Gees, she's gonna try and springboard off that piece of crap I think! DD: She obviously hit her fucking head. [Moira sets the chair up about three feet away from the Iron Maiden and then lifts up Sonya. She smacks her across the face with an elbow and then winds up!] "SSSSSMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKK!!!!!" "WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" JR: There's a receipt from the beginning of the match for Sonya! DD: Chad better get the icy hot ready, cause he's gonna have to rub her boobies a lot tonight. JR: Moira standing Sonya right in front of that Iron Maiden! [Faith turns and sprints about eight feet back, turns and runs at the chair! She goes to spring board off of it and... ...up! ....down! "THUUUUUUUUD!!" "YOU FUCKED UP!" "YOU FUCKED UP!" "YOU FUCKED UP!" "YOU FUCKED UP!" DD: She landed flatter than a nine year old! JR: Moira Faith tried to springboard off that chair and it just fell apart underneath her! Sonya taking advantage and is going to try and get Moira into the Iron Maiden instead! [Sonya kneels over Moira trying to get a grip around her body.] DD: It looks like Faith is completely dead weight! JR: OH! Another receipt! "YOU SICK FUCK POP!" DD: Moira's biting her eyebrow! [Both women slowly navigate to their feet.] JR: And a double chop to Moira's neck doesn't even make her flinch! She leans her head back and... MOIRA JUST ABOUT TEARS A HUNK OF FLESH FROM SONYA'S EYE! "NO WAIT, YOU REALLY SICK FUCK POP!" DD: Sonya's right in front of that Maiden again... Moira's going for whatever she was gonna do without a chair I think. JR: She- No, she's gonna climb to the apron! SHE RUNS! "TTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!!!" "SSSSSSSPLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!" "MEGA HEEL POP!" JR: BLACK WINGS DESCEND! Moira hits her somersault missle dropkick off the apron and sends Sonya into the Iron Maiden! And listen to her shrieking in pain! DD: That rubbing alcohol is getting EVERYwhere! JR: And those dried sea urchins are stabbing her all across her back! She can't even pull them out! This may be the longest minute of the match so far for Sonya Benedict! [The referee starts the count with his stop watch and Faith starts to drum on the top of the lid! Taunting Sonya mercilessly!] DD: She's telling her that all she has to do is reach out and grab her! JR: Moira Faith is heartless! DD: No she's not, see all that blood coming out of her? That's cause she has a heart. JR: I mean metaphorically! DD: Well, aren't you a fancy pants. [Moira pouts as it seems like her taunting isn't going to get Sonya to forfeit the match and attack her no matter what she does. So she starts walking over to another side of the ring.] JR: Faith is looking under the- OH GOD! "IMMINENT ULTRA VIOLENCE POP!" DD: She's got that crazy weapon! The crowbar thing! JR: The BLOODHORN! _AND_ a box of salt! [Faith demonstrates the sharpness of the scythe end of the Bloodhorn by lopping off the top of the box of salt rather easily!] DD: You think maybe she'll cut off all of Sonya's clothes with that? JR: No. DD: Damn! [Moira walks back to the Iron Maiden and looks at it and smiles.] JR: Oh no, there's air holes in each of the Maiden lids... She's going- Oh God! SHE'S ABOUT TO POUR THAT SALT INTO THE MAIDEN WITH THE ALCOHOL AND ALL OVER SONYA BENEDICT! [The crowd gasps as Moira smiles and waves to them. She starts to tip the salt and they boo loudly, she stops and then nods, smiling again. Teasing the fans AND Sonya at the same time!] DD: Just DO it all ready! There's less than half a minute left! "HEEL POP!" JR: RIGHT IN SONYA'S FACE! SHE TRIES TO BLOCK IT WITH HER HANDS BUT YOU CAN SEE IT GOING INTO HER EYES! DD: You have to season evenly! Not just the top half get the rest of her! JR: I think Moira is happy to pour the whole box down just over her head and face! [The salt in Sonya's face causes her to thrash around and kick up the rubbing alcohol, stirring the salt around and getting it all over fresh wounds! Digging the urchins in deeper! She cries out in pain over and over!] DD: She's trembling! "TEN!" JR: I can't imagine... I can't even fathom that kind of pain! This is right up there with the worst we've seen from the men tonight! Anyone who doubted that Joshi Jisatsu would live up to the tournament, well... They were DEAD wrong! "NINE!" "EIGHT!" DD: They are two sadistic bitches! I've always thought women were more evil than men, I think this shit is just proof of it. "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" [Moira takes up the Bloodhorn and begs Sonya to get out and attack her!] JR: Moira would love nothing more than to get Sonya to forfeit this match! "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" DD: Aww, no luck. "ONE!" [Sonya throws back the lid and sits up with a gasp!] JR: Benedict is on fire! Figurtively- "HEEL POP!" DD: Crowbar to the head douses her flames! JR: Now Moira is putting Sonya in a chinlock! Does this count as preventing Sonya from exiting the Iron Maiden? DD: No way, she's helping her- "JESUS CHRIST POP!!!" JR: MOIRA IS CARVING SONYA'S HEAD WITH THE SCYTHE END OF THE BLOODHORN! DD: Givin' her a crimson skunk tail! She always had that pink streak in her hair, now she'll have one for her bald head! JR: OH MY GOD! SHE'S CUTTING HER FROM FOREHEAD TO THE BASE OF HER SKULL! DD: That's the biggest gash I've EVER seen. And I've seen your Mom's! JR: THINK OF HOW MANY STITCHES THAT'S GOING TO TAKE! [The ref looks on and then hesitently pulls the microphone out of his back pocket...] DD: Calm the fuck DOWN! JR: But! But! Jesus! REFEREE: Um... DD: What does HE want? JR: Oh, I think Moira is getting a penalty! REFEREE: Moira Faith is being assigned a full ONE MINUTE PENALTY in-! "MEEEEEGA FACE POP!" DD: She just shit her pants! Or had a baby, I'm not sure! JR: SHE'S THREATENING THE REF WITH THE BLOODHORN! [Moira raises it and he shouts that he's the only referee in the cage!] DD: What's he going to do disqualify her!? JR: I think he can say she forfeits! Just say her refusal to accept the penalty is like getting out early! DD: Oh. Dammit, that makes sense too. Fuck! Just do it! You're hardcore! You're hardcore! JR: Faith looks like maybe she's coming to her senses... "FACE POP!" DD: Sonya Benedict is LIVID! Comin' up right behind Faith! [Sonya then instead hops on the apron, and lashes out with a kick to the hand holding the Bloodhorn! It goes flying through the air and skids across the floor! The ref kicks it under the ring!] "THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!" "SICK SICK POP!" JR: METEOR BLAST! [Sonya leaps off the ring apron and catches Moira under the chin in a sitout jawbreaker!] DD: She split her OWN head open even more! JR: BUT SHE'S UP AND MOIRA'S DOWN! DD: Looks like she plans to pick Moira's penalty Maiden FOR her! [Sonya points at the glass Iron Maiden!] "POP!" JR: With a little help from the fans! [She shakes her head and points at the rubbing alcohol Maiden!] "BIG HARDCORE POP!" [Sonya holds her hand out making a 'maybe' gesture. Tilting it one way then the other... Now she points at the final Iron Maiden...!] DD: PIRAHNA TANK MAIDEN! YES! "GIGANTIC HARDCORE POP!" JR: THE FANS HAVE SPOKEN! [Sonya grabs two huge hand fulls of Moira's hair and begins dragging her around the ring side area! Faith shrieks in pain and kicks her legs trying to get free!] DD: I'm surprised Sonya hasn't used the Bloodhorn to scalp Faith! JR: Don't give her the idea! [Sonya gathers speed and as she turns one of the corners she lifts Faith up by the hair and slams her into the cage wall!] "HARDCORE POP!" DD: Damn! Dragging her across the barbs of the cage! JR: And now she's got her right by the pirahna tank! Pulls Faith up to her feet! DD: And all right she's going down on her! JR: She's putting herself in a standing head scissors! DD: Huh? Why? JR: THAT'S WHY! [Sonya lifts Moira up and over her head, Moira's body pressed against Sonya's back as she hangs over Benedict's shoulders!] DD: Those sea urchins are still stuck in her back and now they're getting stuck to Faith too! JR: That's the set up for- "Small recognition pop!" "THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!" "SPLASH!" "SPPLLLLAAAAASH!" "MEGA MEGA FACE POP!" DD: FAITH IS IN WITH THE PIRAHNA! JR: BURNING SUNSET! INTO THE TANK! FAITH NOW SPENDING HER PENALTY MINUTE IN THE PIRAHNA TANK! [The ref has his stop watch going and everyone is going apeshit! Sonya kicks the side walls of the tank, trying to piss off the pirahna!] DD: Oh shit, I think one just bit her! JR: That's the IDEA! DD: God DAMN! There's another! THIS is the longest minute of the match! I guarantee it! JR: Faith struggling just to keep her face up above the water line! Unlike the rubbing alcohol that Maiden is all most full to the top! [Now Sonya is taunting Moira, telling HER that all she has to do is climb out and it'll be all over!] DD: Think she'll forfeit? JR: I doubt it! DD: Look how red the water is! You can barely see anything! JR: Except that Moira is still thrashing around! [Sonya continues to prod at the tank Iron Maiden. She has a big smile on her face and sadistically laughs at Moira's predicament!] DD: Man, are we done yet!? JR: We're MAYBE half a minute in! DD: They should let her out, she's getting eaten up more than Paris Hilton before they put her Valtrex online! JR: I think she's probably still got a lot of people in her urban district. DD: Saran wrap is a wonderful thing. [The crowd is just watching on in shock, some loud cheers here and there. Mostly they all are in rapt anticipation for when Moira gets out!] "SHOCKED POP!" JR: The water's going still! Moira's face just sank under! [Even Sonya stops and stares. In the aisle you can see Myra Benedict stand up and start walking to ringside!] DD: Oh shit. Ohshitohshit! JR: SOMEBODY GET HER OUT OF THERE! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" DD: I am SO not getting sued! I TURN STATE'S EVIDENCE RIGHT NOW! "SEVEN!" JR: Myra looks concerned, Sonya... Sonya's expression is blank... DD: This is fucked up right here! "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" [Myra grabs the cage and begins to shake it, as if to rally Moira! Behind her a group of EMTs begin to gather around the door, waiting to be let in!] JR: Sonya still not showing ANY EMOTION! "TWO!" "ONE!" DD: And OUT SHE COMES! "ZERO!" DD: And OUT SHE COMES! [Sonya slowly begins to show an expression... Myra looks on, a mix of fascination and sadness on her face.] JR: Moira isn't getting out... She's... SONYA JUST SMILED! DD: Oh God, the bitch is dead! STOP FILMING! "MEGA FUCKING HUGE MIXED POP!" JR: MOIRA FAITH IS ALIVE! [Faith pops up and rolls out of the Iron Maiden gasping for breath drenched in salt water and you can clearly see a few places where the fish bit through her red jumpsuit.] DD: Man, SONYA has no HEART! She just smiled thinking this bitch was dead and now she's kicking her in the ribs as she tries to BREATH! JR: Sonya drags her up and throws her into the ring! Moira crawling the opposite way, but Sonya is up and follows right in! PIN! ONE! TWO! THREE!?!? "NO FUCKING WAY POP!" DD: She rolled a shoulder up! A sloppy cover by Sonya Benedict! JR: She tries again, bridging her back, putting all her weight on Moira's shoulders! ONE! TWO!! THRRRRRR-KICKOUT! "Another NO FUCKING WAY pop!" DD: Sonya obviously has no idea what to do next! She looks lost in there. [Sonya rolls to her hands and knees and then sits back, rubbing her face with her hands.] JR: Looks like she has an idea! Lifting Moira up to her feet! Hoists her up across her shoulders! She's going for the Black Halo! DD: Having trouble getting Moira where she wants her on her shoulders though. Moira's either dead weight or wiggling I can't tell which! JR: SHE SLIDES OFF SONYA'S BACK! "HEEL POP!" JR: SHE JUST PULLED OUT ANOTHER SET OF STRAIGHT RAZORS! CUTTING SONYA'S BACK! DD: Now tossing them aside, she's going for the kill! [Moira grabs Sonya's arms, crossing them around her own body!] JR: She spins her over and has her set up for the crossed arm Canadian back breaker! She lifts! DD: Sonya up! Moira's trying to make her submit! JR: I don't see that happening! DD: But you can see how bad she wants it! She WANTS to break her! JR: But her knees are wobbling! She's weak and it takes a lot of strength to hold Sonya up like that! Sonya's all most as big as Faith and Moira can barely stand on her own! "THHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!!!!" "SHOCKED HEEL POP!" DD: ON HER FUCKING HEAD! JR: BURN, BLEED, ASCEND! GANSOBOMB STYLE! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEE!? DD: YES! "GIANT HEEL POP!" JR: MOIRA FAITH WINS! [The EMTs rush to get the door to the cell open and Myra shoves them aside to enter first. She jumps into the ring and surveys the carnage. She stands above the two women, who are laying their limply... And she starts to applaud!] DD: Wow. This night just gets better! Two Bloody Nights is going down in history! JR: The crowd is standing up and giving these women a well deserved standing ovation! [Myra walks over to the ref and snatches the microphone from him.] DD: Looks like Poison Bliss has something to say! PBMB: I've got just one thing to say, Sonya? We're proud of you. JR: ...That's chilling. [Myra pulls Moira up and begins helping her to the back as the EMTs protest and work on Sonya.] DD: I'm gonna puke if they shake hands and hug or something. JR: I think they're taunting her, Dirk. DD: Oh, awesome then! |
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| DBBRose | Jan 29 2008, 11:46 PM Post #2 |
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Birdgirl
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Sucked. -Ben Just kidding. Bad ass match. The pirhanna tank was fucking brutal. And then to come back and win!? Damn. Moira Faith is one tough bitty. |
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| synthetic67 | Jan 30 2008, 12:26 AM Post #3 |
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Not Really Semi-Retired
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Nah, she got lucky. Sonya was going to rip her head off. ![]() It was a fucking awesome match though. And despite the loss, I still need to put it up on Sonya's page as one of her career highlights. |
![]() E-Wrestling Twitters: Hannah Kristiansen: @BOOMKillShot Izumi Sato: @PureHeartWaryer K-USA: @KOKORO_USA Andrea Kristian: @ThePsychoSiren Darrin Kisler: @EvilFnBastard Halvard Vinter: @OddSonHalVinter Myra Benedict: @MyraBenedict | |
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3:18 AM Jul 11