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| HUGE Overflow, week 1.; Yay for summary jobber matches! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 20 2008, 10:41 AM (248 Views) | |
| Mozeart | Dec 20 2008, 10:41 AM Post #1 |
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Sheik-ee, Sheik-ee, give me your answer do...
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.____________________________________________. | _ _ _ _ ___________ | | / / / / | | | / __ \ ____\ | | / / / /| | | || | \_\ \ | | / /_/ / | | | || | __ \ \___ | | / __ / | | | || | | | \ __\ | | / / / / | |_| || | | | \ \ | | / / / / | || |__| | \ \____ | | /_/ /_/ O \___/O \____/ O _\_____\_O | | /_ | / \ | | Hellfire's Ultimate Grappling / / | [] | | | \\Excitement Version 2.0.// |___\O \__/ | |--------------------------------------------| | Now in glorious on-line 720p, 16X9 HD! | '--------------------------------------------' Disclaimer: This is not an ewrestling “card” per se. Rather, these are the matches that form the bulk of the show during HUGE's live events. They are short, ugly, and exists almost entirely to pad the roster's record. These matches can be viewed live by fans, or streamed from any number of video sites that like to host wrestling matches. This style of guerrilla video is an unofficial method used by Barney Johnson to promote the organization on behalf of himself and SSN. Lack of participation can land you on Overflow ... as a jobber. Keep that in mind, and remember, you're not inactive if you're on hiatus. Just make sure I know you're on hiatus. ![]() The matches'll be shorter in the future. I just couldn't stop myself this week. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Lightningfoot III -vs- “Private” Glen Peeps. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Monday, December 15, 2008. [Entering from the Dungeon area, the masked man known as Lightningfoot III made his debut in HUGE. A 201-pound cruiserweight, he cuts a mean shape, and faces off against Glen Peeps, a man best known as the punching bag/manager of Chris Stringer in WWO. Peeps played the crowd on his way out, trying to seem serious and formidable while wearing an army uniform.] BJ: Glen Peeps. Can you believe it Harvey? DJHV: I can't believe you know who he is? [The match started up respectably enough, both men feeling one another out. Peeps seemed overmatched initially, but after using the ropes managed to hit a high hiptoss that looked painful. From there, Peeps slapped on a chinlock and seemed strong enough to hold Lightningfoot down.] DJHV: He's got him down. Maybe this guy ain't that crappy. BJ: Peeps has had 8 years experience in the business, and it looks like he's really stepped up his game since WWO. [After that, things went downhill. Grabbing the ropes, Lightningfoot created a little separation between himself and his opponent before hitting a succession of kicks that rocked Peeps. After taking a dropsault, Peeps rebounded, and ducked an inziugiri. Trying a rear waistlock, he caught a rear elbow under the chin before taking the “Bolt of Lightning” (backflip kick), and then a “Dark Sorcerer” (shining wizard from behind).] *DING!* *DING!* *DING!* DJHV: People, your attention please! The man with his head kicked in from fancy-pants land WWO back in the day? We don't care about him ... YO' WINNAH IS LIGHTNING FOOT DA THIRD!!! =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Twinkletoes Tiwilliger -vs- Crackhead. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Monday, December 15, 2008. [Announced at being “just south of 200 pounds”, a 6'5” blob of a man emerged from the Dungeon, being called “King of the Cruiserweights”. Greeted in the ring by the ever HARDMFINGKORE Crackhead with derisive laughter, the big man was not amused.] DJHV: Damn! This kid has got to be out of his mind! Look at his face turn red as he's just whippin' that boy like a redheaded stepchild! BJ: Well ... Crackhead does die his hair a blood red... [Rolling to the outside and flopping comically to the floor, Crackhead did his best to escape his opponent, but even a shot from his trusty lead pipe failed to slow the behemoth much. The brief advantage that gave Crackhead evaporated as Tiwilliger went back to brawling, then hit a big powerbomb after Crackhead's tackle failed to floor the big man.] DJHV: So does Crackhead always get his ass beat? BJ: Harvey, really, this is only the second time I've really seen the guy go. [Coming off the ropes, “Twinkletoes” gestured wildly as if to indicate his agility, then hit a legdrop that was described as “Twinkling-Top-Rope-Guillotine-Leg-Drop”. It was nevertheless more than enough to finish Crackhead as the big man's massive calf covered him for the pin.] *DING! *DING! *DING! DJHV: Crackhead needs to go see Huey Lewis and the News, 'cause lemme tell you he needs a new drug! BJ: Nobody's going to get that reference, Harvey. DJHV: Shaddup, Barn! Yo' winnah by way of a fat leg to the face ... "The King of The Cruiserweights" Twinkletoes Tiwilliger! =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Dylan Scott -vs- El Gato. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Wednesday, December 17, 2008. [Preaching as he did during “HUGE Live”, Scott came to the ring, arguing with the fans who gave him an even stronger booing than his first appearance. When he hit the ring with his manager, “The Truth Serum" Buster Stallworth, he was already the most hated man in the building. Conversely, everyone was enjoying El Gato immensely, mostly because he'd been drinking in the crowd since the card began. Entering the ring, he wobbled slightly, but still seemed ready enough to wrestle.] DJHV: Man, the Mexican has already been lubed up with a few shots of Tequila. BJ: His brother, El Gato Loco, actually took the name from El Gato in a match in Britain about 6 years ago. Did you know that? DJHV: Does anyone else besides you? [Immediately angry, Dylan Scott berated El Gato for his drunken state. Receiving laughter as a response to his criticism, Scott slapped Gato. Turning serious, Gato absorbed a second slap before launching bodily into Scott, and the match was on.] DJHV: Tell you what, this Chihuahua can bite better than he barks. 'Course I can't understand anything he says... BJ: He speaks English perfectly well, Harvey. Maybe if you'd show him a little respect... [A missed corner splash led to Scott hitting a massive Fishermanbuster on his smaller opponent, and then pressing his near 90 pound weight advantage against Gato. Although he fought free of his opponent's control on a number of occasions, Gato was never able to initiate any more offense, and eventually fell prey to “Means to an End”, Dylan's corner double knee strike finisher.] *DING! *DING! *DING! DJHV: Dylan Scott is yo' winner, y'all! Now listen up while he lets all y'all know how wrong you are for livin' yo' lives doin' stupid stuff. Spin da tunes! [At that Harvey played Dylan Scott's music, “Higher” by Creed.] =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Jason Dynamite -vs- Motown Man. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Wednesday, December 17, 2008. [Dynamite came out to a capacity crowd and a standing ovation. This time, geared up to receive him, the fans cheered on the former PVW star, and booed his opponent, the double-offensive Motown Man twice as hard.] DJHV: Damn, why this kid gettin' that much props, man? BJ: Jason Dynamite's been all over, done just about everything Harvey. The fans love him because he's been around. He's a veteran. [Starting out, at least from a physical standpoint, both men seemed equally matched. Becoming frustrated as they traded hiptosses, bodyslams, monkeyflips and more, Motown grabbed up his nunchaku and tried to take a swipe at Dynamite, but the ref cut him off.] DJHV: Why ain't this cat already been hit with the DQ, man? I can just say it. I got the mic! BJ: Motown didn't actually hit Dynamite, so there's no reason to disqualify him ... yet. [Dynamite came in, talking some trash to Motown, perhaps adding his own 2 cents about the nunchaku, Motown spat at him. Angered, Dynamite tried to rush Motown, was cut off by the ref, and Motown gouged his eyes right over the ref's head. The crowd, already solidly behind Dynamite, became rabid as Motown went to town using both rough brawling tactics and martial arts on his opponent.] BJ: Jason Dynamite is taking an awful lot of abuse here. He's acting like he's half blind in there. DJHV: The man with the afro wig showin' off disco style, Barn. What you think? Maybe he'll be the one to snatch up that championship strap you've got burnin' a hole in yo' pocket. [Barney shuddered at that. Motown continued to press the advantage until Dynamite caught him mid-crossbody, and--] BJ: HOTSHOT! Motown reeling-- THEBOOOOOM!!! [Dynamite's devastating cradle piledriver knocked Motown Man completely unconscious, and the pinfall was just a formality.] *DING! *DING! *DING! DJHV: Damn! The guy was on the ropes, then he hung the other guy on the ropes, and now he's the winnah, yo! Raise that man's hand ... JASON DYNAMITE! =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Preston Mayfield -vs- “Superfreak” Tony Blake. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Wednesday, December 17, 2008. [Initially, it seemed like Tony Blake would win the match by forfeit, as Preston Mayfield didn't come out as his music played. This process was repeated a few times before the referee finally started the 10-count that would give Blake the win. At the count of 9, however, Blake suddenly fell flat on his face, and, standing behind him, was Preston Mayfield, stuffing something into his trunks.] DJHV: Damn! New record for shortest match, man! BJ: Preston Mayfield was in the crowd! What'd he hit Tony Blake with? DJHV: His balls, man. They're big enough, that's for damned sure. [This anticlimactic spectacle continued as Preston walked around the ring, celebrating without first pinning his opponent. Ducking his head in the corner, he pulled a flask from his trunks, taking a swig and grimacing as the hard liquor hit his throat.] BJ: A flask! A metal flask! He's been DRINKING! DJHV: Go figure … a brewery in the next room, and all the fighters be drunks. [As Blake stirs, Mayfield postures, waiting for him to stand, and as he got to his knees--] BJ: MAYFIELD INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX! DDT puts Blake down, and Preston Mayfield Manifesto locked on... [Mayfield's simple leglock doesn't elicit any pained reaction from Blake, who shows no sign of life. The referee lifts Blake's hand three times, then calls for the bell.] *DING! *DING! *DING! =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Antonio Morientes -vs- “Millennium Kid” Mickey Mercury. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Friday, December 19, 2008. [Mickey Mercury came out first, no longer a kid but forever associated with his rookie year at the age of 17 in 1999. Morientes came out to a good pop, and the two locked eyes, circled as the bell rang, and shook hands in a sign of mutual respect.] DJHV: What the hell was that? I thought they were gonna do a test of strength or something. BJ: These two are both good sportsmen, Harvey. They were just showing respect to each other. DJHV: Yeah, well ... I say we just... BJ: What's this? DJ Har-V struck dumb? DJHV: I ain't dumb, you're dumb, man. [The match was a high-flying spotfest. Morientes quickly established himself as the much stronger of the two. Turning evasive, Mercury started backpedaling, and forcing Morientes to pursue him. Using hit and run tactics, he managed to hit with a dropkick squarely to the face that floored the larger Spaniard.] BJ: Morientes stunned, 2-count by Mercury! Small package! Mercury kicks out too! [After this, things went downhill for Mercury, who absorbed repeated chops from Morientes, and a snap mare followed by a kick to the spine. A running soccer kick to the face put Mickey down flat, with Morientes shouting “GOOOOOOAAAAAAL!!!” for emphasis. Utterly stunned and punch drunk, Mickey staggered to his feet, then absorbed a burning lariat.] BJ: St Raul, and St Amuro! It's all over but the victory party now. *DING!* *DING!* *DING!* DJHV: The MAIN from SPAIN can't COMPLAIN because he wins yet A-GAIN! That's Antonio Morientes, ya'll! =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= The Spectre -vs- Jerko D. Clown. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= [Jerko, a 300-plus pound lump of inflexible muscle came out, bedecked in a spandex bodysuit styled to look like a clown suit and makeup complete with a rubber nose came out to almost no response whatsoever.] DJHV: Okay, so it's a scary clown. What's the deal? Where's the other guy? BJ: Wait for it... [Suddenly, the words "Do you fear the Dark?" were heard, and then “Beautiful People” by Marilyn Manson hit the PA, and the crowd went insane. Even DJHV was impressed.] DJHV: I know who that is~! BJ: And you never know who someone is. DJHV: Hey, I knew who the other wrestlers were. BJ: Sure, the SECOND time you called matches for 'em. [The Spectre had come to HUGE, with no explanation, and on the other side of the ring, Jerko suddenly lost his aura of threat, and looked nervous. As the bell rang, he tentatively looked for a lockup, and instead took a headbutt to the face. In a brutal, one-sided affair, Jerko was destroyed summarily. Repeated bloody biting attacks almost got him disqualified, but after hitting the “Rebirth” (fisherman's buster piledriver) he took the pin, and then took Jerko's nose, the already chewed rubber ball, seemingly chewing it up and swallowing it.] BJ: GOOD GOD! I've never seen the Rebirth performed before! Somebody get Jerko some medical attention! *DING!* *DING!* *DING!* DJHV: Holy crap, I'm out of here, but before I go, yo' winner by way of a bunch of scary *BLEEP* is ... THE SPECTRE!!! [End of video. See www.huge.com (fake URL) to see “HUGE Live!” every week!] |
| And it was at this moment that the entire world realized, in unison, that tandem bicycles were AWESOME~! | |
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3:38 AM Jul 11