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| HUGE Overflow Week 2.; Forgot to put this on JTF. Whoops. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 30 2009, 08:17 PM (148 Views) | |
| Mozeart | Jan 30 2009, 08:17 PM Post #1 |
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Sheik-ee, Sheik-ee, give me your answer do...
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.____________________________________________. | _ _ _ _ ___________ | | / / / / | | | / __ \ ____\ | | / / / /| | | || | \_\ \ | | / /_/ / | | | || | __ \ \___ | | / __ / | | | || | | | \ __\ | | / / / / | | | || | | | \ \ | | / / / / | |_| || |__| | \ \____ | | /_/ /_/ O \___/O \____/ O _\_____\_O | | /_ | / \ | | Hellfire's Ultimate Grappling / / | [] | | | \\Excitement Version 2.0.// |___\O \__/ | |--------------------------------------------| | Now in glorious on-line 720p, 16X9 HD! | '--------------------------------------------' Disclaimer: This is not an ewrestling “card” per se. Rather, these are the matches that form the bulk of the show during HUGE's live events. They are short, ugly, and exist almost entirely to pad the roster's record. These matches can be viewed live by fans, or streamed from any number of video sites that like to host wrestling matches. This style of guerrilla video is an unofficial method used by Barney Johnson to promote the organization on behalf of himself and SSN. Lack of participation can land you on Overflow ... as a jobber. Keep that in mind, and remember, you're not inactive if you're on hiatus. Just make sure I know you're on hiatus. A few characters are in danger of suffering this fate. You know who you are. Next time there's a deadline, meet it, and don't try to say you weren't warned... Saturday, December 20, 2008-Sunday, January 4, 2009 = Holiday vacation/upgrades to the HUGE nerve center. New prospects are funneled into the area by SSN. Most wash out within days. Here is what remains, along with those that were with us from the beginning. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= “Big Celt” Grant O'Hara -vs- Crackhead. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Monday, January 12, 2009. [Crackhead comes out first, belly swelled from drinking too much of the Hellfire's free beer over the last few months. After that, O'Hara comes out to Dropkick Murphys' “Heroes still remain”. He's a big guy, with about 6” and 40 pounds on his pudgy opponent.] DJHV: This guy's ... not real buff, but he looks strong. He from Southshore? BJ: No, he's not from Kentucky, Harvey. He's from Massachusetts. DJHV: What? The gay marriage place? [The match is joined, and Crackhead is overmatched immediately. His brawling tactics result in O'Hara winning every exchange, then hitting a succession of lariats, legdrops, knees, and dropkicks, leading into a Gutwrench Powerbomb, immediately followed by a belly to back suplex that lands Crackhead squarely on his neck.] BJ: IRISH CLASH! There's the 3-count! *DING!* *DING!* *DING!* DJHV: Yo' winnah on account of Crackhead's fat ass gettin' folded is “Big Celt” Grant O'Hara! Word! [Postmatch, a recovering Crackhead tries to assault O'Hara with his pipe, but gets quickly disarmed and pitched over the top. O'Hara shows some concern while Crackhead is carted away, but mostly just shakes his head at the jobber's stupidity.] DJHV: Damn! Crackhead ... cracked his head! BJ: You love irony, don't you, Harvey? DJHV: Huh? Uh, I guess ... iron, copper, y'know, whatever the hell it is the doctor's tellin' me I'm deficient in this week. [Cut that crap. The footage ends.] =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Scott Nielsen -vs- Dolph Reykjavik. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Monday, January 12, 2009. [Dolph comes out first without even any music. He's a blond kid with a good build, sent straight from SSN for development. As Kanye West’s ‘Jesus Walks’ hit the PA, Scott Nielsen emerged from The Dungeon looking ready for business. His face was a cold mask and his eyes were set firmly on the match and he it looked like he could have been wrestling in an empty room for the lip service he paid to the fans.] DJHV: Boy's from Portland Oregon, and he's in the wrong weight class tonight, y'all. So go ahead, give it up and wish good luck to SCOTT NIELSEN! [Early on, Dolph seems to overwhelm Nielsen. Scott's grapples don't work, and the best he can hope for is avoiding the oversized Swede (he's from Sweden, by the way), but eventually the muscular European starts to seem winded. BJ: Dolph can't seem to connect with those punches. Nielsen still fresh as a daisy! Who knew!? [Going on a high-flying offensive, Nielsen hits dropkicks, moonsaults, sentons, and more. Locking in a Texas Cloverleaf, it looks like Dolph is about to tap, but he manages to push up and out of the hold using his 80+ pound weight advantage. Getting to his feet, however...] BJ: BIG BANG! Superkick puts the big man down! 1! 2! 3!!! *DING!* *DING!* *DING!* DJHV: Damn! Yo' winnah, the David knockin' Goliath stupid, the midget rapper who stage dives on yo' nuts, apparently it's Scott Nielsen! Give it up! I'm impressed! BJ: So classy, Harvey. So classy. [Youtube users navigate away as an ad for Fatty Buoyz Meat Snax flashes onto the screen, following the match footage.] =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= “Superfreak” Tony Blake and El Gato -vs- ?? and ??. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Wednesday, January 14, 2009. [Blake and Gato come out together to “Tequila”, El Gato's music. Both dance, although not the same dance, and would look silly anyway as Gato's is bad and Blake's is dated. Their opponents are not announced immediately, “Juke Joint Jezebel” by KMFDM plays, and a seemingly unfamiliar figure emerges from the Dungeon. The fans closest to him, however, start to flip out, and soon the whole room is jumping. Immediately afterwards, “The Memory Remains” by Metallica plays, and the roof practically comes off the small venue, 1,000 people sounding like 10,000. Seeming confused, the second, joining his friend, looks at him questioningly ... because he's wearing a rubber muscle suit. Muscle-suit man sticks his tongues (both of them!) out at his partner, a tall, gothic-looking man with an asian valet.] DJHV: Their opponents, comin' out with a red-hot asian mama, WHOO, name o' “Sayaka”, are Vile “Vince” Viper Deluxe and “The Walking contradiction Sabbath! [A massive mixed pop goes up, and both men climb into the ring to face their opponents, who are, to say the least, intimidated.] DJHV: Hey, Barn, is this right? Ain't the quotes in the wrong place? BJ: That's what Viper asked to be called, so that's what I put down. DJHV: Still can't believe you got Sabbath. BJ: You know who Sabbath is? You usually don't know who any wrestlers are ... even when they've been around awhile. DJHV: Well hell man, you got a life-size poster of the guy up in yo' office. Duh. BJ: Ah. [Flexing his rubber muscles, Viper started the match. Across the ring, Tony Blake and El Gato argued over who would start, with El Gato finally becoming frustrated, and stepping in after giving his partner a slight shove towards their corner. A confused look visible on the portions of his face not covered by a cat mask, Gato approaches Viper, looking like a midget by comparison. The action takes off quickly, with Gato constantly dodging, and working on the body of Viper to no effect. The rubber suit absorbs all the impact, and once Viper gets his hands on Gato, the tiny luchador goes flying time and again. Dragging Gato back towards his corner, Viper loses his grip, and by the time Sabbath's accepted the tag and come in, Gato's already tagged out to a reluctant Tony Blake. Sabbath, who has about 80 pounds on Blake, at first seems outpaced by the smaller man, but quickly turns the tide, hitting a bone-jarring succession of maneuvers, one after the other; Uranage, backdrop driver, a springboard moonsault and others.] DJHV: Holy crap! This is just EVIL! Man, why you feedin' wusses to these guys? That ain't right. BJ: It was ... an opportunity ... for them to shine? I mean, I figured, maybe... DJHV: Yeah, I get it. You wasn't thinking. [The mugging continues in the ring, and Sabbath pitches Blake into his corner. Gato tries to retreat, but Blake manages to make contact before he can drop to the floor. Gato dodges around the ring, fleeing and sliding in and out on a number of occasions before Sabbath tags back out, letting in Viper again. Gato apparently feels he has a better chance against Viper, and swiftly gets on his back. Choking Viper seems to work for a moment ... until Viper flops on his back, crushing Gato.] DJHV: And the cat got flat ... the very next day. BJ: What? DJHV: It's an old ... cartoon. Look, never mind. [Viper presses his advantage, jamming his pinky and index finger into Gato's eyes and flashing a devil horns gesture before pressing Gato into the corner, grabbing him by the legs, and LEAPING down from the top with a spinning giant swing!] BJ: HOLY CRAP! Giant swing from the top!? That's the Muscle Storm! I can't believe he can do it in that getup! [Falling on top of Gato, crushing him, Viper headbutts the holy hell out of Gato for the five count, then, just shy of a DQ loss, he holds Gato down for a 3-count.] BJ: Blake in, but Sabbath cuts him off! There's the 3-count! *DING!* *DING!* *DING!* DJHV: They won the match, but I think the cops are gonna arrest 'em for assault and battery, that was so bad. They're VILE “VINCE” VIPER DELUXE AND “THE WALKING CONTRADICTION” SABBATH!!! [Celebrating, Vince and Sabbath pose for the crowd, who both cheer and jeer for the two veterans. Looking at his partner, the match now done, Sabbath slaps him on the shoulder once to get his attention, fails, then taps his head before heading to the back, Viper in tow. Cut.] =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Crimson Dragon -vs- Glen “Private” Peeps. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Friday, January 16, 2009. [Entering first came Crimson Dragon, a red-masked asian man, billed as being from Osaka, Japan, and entering the ring to “The Optimist” by Skinless.] DJHV: Comin' out with Cole Parker ... lookin' scary and, from what they tell me, flying here from Osaka, Japan, this be the Crimson Dragon! [Peeps follows afterwards, gets a good face pop, and salutes excessively, looking quite silly in his military getup.] DJHV: And the guy he gonna try beat up is, from “The Barracks”, Glen “Private” Peeps! [The match begins, Peeps and Dragon face off, and it's immediately clear that Peeps doesn't quite match up against Dragon in terms of skill, speed and athleticism, absorbing an unanswered hiptoss, bodyslam, kicks, punches, elbows and more. A dragon sleeper looks to put the Private away immediately, as the private only manages to raise his hand in response to the referee on the third attempt. Pounding his way free of the sleeper, Peeps rallies, laying into his opponent with repeated punches, but an enziugiri puts him on dream street, followed immediately by a through-the-legs sitout piledriver.] BJ: Dragon Driver! There's the pin! *DING!* *DING!* *DING!* DJHV: Yo' winner after a very, very one-sided fight be the CRIMSON DRAGON! =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= “Millennium Kid” Mickey Mercury -vs- Leon Wellsley. =HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE=HUGE= Friday, January 16, 2009. [Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve starts up. Leon Wellsley makes his way out with a cocky smirk on his face. He strides down the ramp, ignoring the belligerent fans around him. He hops on the apron, having to pull himself up a little, before stepping through the ropes and going to his respective corner.] DJHV: Listen up people, 'cause HUGE has yet another guy comin' over from some other country to the Crotch of America's Heartland! This dude's from Manchester ... which I guess is in England... IT'S LEON WELLSLEY, Y'ALL! [Coming out second, Mercury, a long-haired and very young ironic throwback to 1980's rocker-style wrestler, comes out as “Anthem for the Year 2000” by Silverchair plays.] DJHV: And a regular to the Hellfire, the man from 'Jersey ... it's Mickey Mercury! [Starting out, Mickey tries for a lockup, only to be sidestepped. Wellsley brushes imaginary dirt off his shoulder, and faces the corner, throwing a sneer out at the crowd. This repeats a few times, with Mickey pulling him away from the corner, becoming angry, and ultimately being pulled off as Wellsley holds onto the top rope.] DJHV: So what? We not having a match after all or somethin'? BJ: I'm not sure what his gameplan is exactly, unless Wellsley thinks he can win by frustrating his opponent. [Finally, Leon meets his opponent in the center, moving from a collar-and-elbow into a series of european uppercuts, armdrags, and german suplexes. Coming back, Mercury his an enziugiri, dropsault, keeps it going his way by stringing together basic moves, but misses a cross body block, flopping on the mat. Trying to recover, Mickey tries to hammer his way back up as Wellsley pulls him to his feet, but a thumb to the eye stops this short. Mickey, stunned utterly by his opponents tactics, is placed on the top rope, and hit with a hurricanrana that sends him flying almost the entire width of the ring.] BJ: Holy crap, now that was a hurricanrana! Wellsley ... just stepping on the man's chest for the cover. That's all that she wrote. *DING!* *DING!* *DING!* DJHV: Look at that bull*BLEEP*, Mickey Mercury done got stomped by the man from Manchester. Good-night Mickey, you done lost to LEON WELLSLEY! [Insisting that his arm be raised on several occasions by the referee, Wellsley soaks up the boos, at one point flashing his index and middle fingers at them and giving a cheesy grin. End.] |
| And it was at this moment that the entire world realized, in unison, that tandem bicycles were AWESOME~! | |
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3:38 AM Jul 11