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Kings Of Europe Week One Results; And it begins!
Topic Started: May 27 2009, 08:01 AM (424 Views)
texanspaniard
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The Luther Burger
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
=======================================================
FFN Presents...

K I N G S - O F - E U R O P E

Week One
=======================================================
Welcome to week one action in Kings Of Europe! This week
the league kicks off and everyone waits to see who will
take the early lead in the league and who will have catching
up to do from the start! Let's cut the suspension and
get to the action! Week One starts now!
=======================================================
Amsterdam Admirals [Netherlands] (Home)
vs
Rome Legionaires [Italy] (Away)
=======================================================
It was sunny weather with beautiful blue clear skies
that greeted the first game ever in Kings Of Europe!
Amsterdam Admirals hosted Rome Legionaires in the
season opener! The Amsterdam home crowd was out in
full force, wearing the team jerseys and waving flags
for the Admirals and singing enthusiastically! A
small but very vocal group of Rome supporters were
in attendance and were doing their best to compete
with the much larger crowd of Amsterdam supporters!

The Legionaires fans were rewarded for their show of
support early on when midfielder Joey Morretti of the
United States took advantage of a lapse in Amsterdam's
defense and sent the ball sailing past Admirals' GK
Ibrahim Elia to score the first goal of the game and
the first goal in Kings Of Europe's history!

10:33 Goal by Joey Morretti [Rome Legionaires]

Amsterdam Admirals 0 - 1 Rome Legionaires

The home crowd was momentarily deflated and the small
group of Legionaires fans cheered and celebrated as
loudly as they could! But soon the home crowd drowned
them out with supportive songs and chants for the
Admirals! The Admirals tried to take over the game
and forced Legionaires GK Riccardo Motta to earn his
keep by making at least two saves in a short period
of play! But it took only a moment for Rome's Right
Forward, Giorgio Zambrotta, to steal the ball and
sprint down the field and take on Admirals GK Elia
one on one.. A battle he easily won!

27:37 Goal by Giorgio Zambrotta [Rome Legionaires]

Amsterdam Admirals 0 - 2 Rome Legionaires

Oh how sad the bitter pill seemed to be for the home
crowd and how joyous the celebration was for the
small group of fans for the vistors.. But their
celebration was short lived! For midfielder Jan
Babel sprinted away with the ball, forward Maarten
van Bommel sprinted ahead of Rome defenders and
a slick pass by Babel later and Rome's GK Motta
was no match for vam Bommel's strike and less than
a minute after Rome's 2nd goal the Admirals had
taken one away!

27:57 Goal by Maarten van Bommel [Amsterdam Admirals]

Amsterdam Admirals 1 - 2 Rome Legionaires

Now the home crowd WAS ALIVE! Flags waving and loud
songs were being sung and hope seemed in the air! The
small group of Rome supporters seemed deflated! The
Admirals pressed forward almost in a panic trying to
score again in quick fashion and their haste would
do them no favors at all as Rome's midfielder
Fabio Pepe stole the ball away easily, sent it
flying down the field in a long range pass to
striker Giorgio Zambrotta who for the second time
won a one on one against Admirals GK Elia!

28:45 Goal by Giorgio Zambrotta [Rome Legionaires]

Amsterdam Admirals 1 - 3 Rome Legionaires

Deflation doesn't begin to describe the home crowd!
Elation though properly described the small group of
Rome supporters who now cheered with all their might
as the Legionaires took a COMMANDING lead in this
game! Rome tried to settle the game down and tried
to keep things in a holding patter but this seemed
to set off the Admirals and they began to fight for
possession of the ball and after some tight defending
by the Legionaires, defender Alberto Rossi made a
horrible pass back towards Rome GK Motta, horrible
in that it was a weak pass with little power on it
and worse because Admirals forward Edson Ooijer was
clearly in between them and he easily intercepted
the pass, which now basically acted as a pass fed
to him instead of Motta, and he sent the ball like a
ROCKET into the net past Motta!

31:44 Goal by Edson Ooijer [Amsterdam Admirals]

Amsterdam Admirals 2 - 3 Rome Legionaires

Despair and deflation was now one again joy and
hope for the home crowd! All may not be lost yet
for their Admirals! Now the Legionaires were on
the scramble, trying to defend against an empowered
Admirals who attacked with gusto! But the Legionaires
managed to hold off as the 1st half ended and
half time arrived!

Going into the 2nd half both teams seemed ready
to rumble! Both teams fought over possession and
the crowd was alive cheering for the Admirals to
equalize and do better! Except for the small group
of Rome supporters who made the trip obviously, as
they were still trying their hardest to compete
with the home crowd's cheers! But as 15 minutes
left in the 2nd half approached hope seemed to be
fading for the home crowd! Legionaires were gaining
control of the game and doing their best to stop the
flow of play and slow the game down!

But if Rome has a villain for it's fans it's their
own defender Alberto Rossi! As Amsterdam made a push
to score Admirals midfielder Dirk Schaars made a
bad strike that easily went wide of the net only for
Rossi to roughly send Schaars down for apparently
no reason but poor judgement and yes.. it was in the
area and yes.. The refere pointed to.. THE SPOT! Rossi
had given the Admirals a penalty kick needlessly!
Schaars went to the spot and Motta called the direction
of the shot wrong and THE GAME WAS EQUALIZED!

77:45 Goal by Dirk Schaars [Amsterdam Admirals]

Amsterdam Admirals 3 - 3 Rome Legionaires

Singing and cheers and flag waving were rampant in
Amsterdam now! Dejection and some anger were apparent
in the small group of Rome supporters who made the trip
to Amsterdam to support their team only to see Alberto
Rossi twice cost the Legionaires with bad defending! The
Admirals were now pushing and trying to score one more
to steal the win! But credit to Rome's defense and midfield
as they seemed to come together and focus only on keeping
the Admirals away from their net. And as stoppage time
ran out the Legionaires had succeeded in preventing another
goal by the Admirals but the Admirals had the moral
victory for coming back from being down to even up the
game and not lose in front of their home crowd! Both
teams walk away with a point!

The Final Score:
Amsterdam Admirals 3 - 3 Rome Legionaires
=======================================================
Berlin Brewers [Germany] (Home)
vs
Paris Parrots [France] (Away)
=======================================================
If the first game in King Of Europe's history was full
of drama and dramatics, the 2nd game was the complete
opposite. On a warm and humid day the Berlin Brewers
hosted the Paris Parrots and the air must have been
thick indeed for neither team seemed inspired to do
much. Slow play and weak pushes towards goal dominated
both halves of this game and when it was all said and
done both teams had a point but neither team scored a
goal! The first stinker of the season!

The Final Score:
Berlin Brewers 0 - 0 Paris Parrots
=======================================================
FC Vārcolac Bucharest [Romania] (Home)
vs
Moscow Red Bears [Russia] (Away)
=======================================================
You know your fans are dedicated when it pours rain
and they show up cheering their home team on rabidly!
So there should be no doubt that the home crowd at
Bucharest were rabidly enthusiastic for their team's
first game of the King Of Europe's season! The rain that
poured down didn't seem to bother them but it surely
was a hindrance for both the home team, FC Vārcolac Bucharest,
and the visitors, Moscow Red Bears!

The 1st half saw both teams fighting it out amidst
rain that didn't seem to let up and slippery and muddy
conditions. Not much was made of shot attempts but both
sides made a go at putting the ball into the net, even
if it was unsuccessful. Of particular note, Bucharest
defender Radu Sirato making a save on the best attempt
at a goal in the 1st half, by Moscow's forward Dmitri
Zhirkov, when Bucharests's GK Haralamb Otescu was out
of place. Sirato kicked the shot out of the air and
away saving the home team from going down by one in
the first half.

The 2nd half saw the rain still falling and the crowd
still rabidly cheering their team on. The action was
continuing on in much the same fashion but then amidst
the wet and muddy conditions Bucharest defender Bogdan
Iorga slipped when trying to get the ball away from
danger and Red Bears midfielder Roman Saenko took
full advantage of the opportunity and sent the ball
past Bucharest GK Otescu!

69:17 Goal by Roman Saenko [Moscow Red Bears]

FC Vārcolac Bucharest 0 - 1 Moscow Red Bears

Talk about an unhappy home crowd! They came out rabidly
supporting their team in the pouring rain for this?!
Despair turned back to support quickly though as the
Werewolves of Bucharest began to take control of the
game and attempted to score repeatedly! They weren't
taking the crowd's loyalty for granted! They were doing
their best to equalize! Forward Tiberiu Goma made a
good attempt with a header! Maruis Bebesco, another
Bucharest forward, made another good attempt at a
goal close to stoppage time! All attempts though were
denied, rejected by Red Bear's star goal keeper
Rustam Kernozenko who maintained his reputation by
keeping the sheet clean on his end and Moscow Red
Bears manage to hold on to the victory!

A heart broken crowd lamented, mingled their tears
with the rain, then cheered on their defeated Werewolves,
trying to give them hope to fight on and despite the
bad start, improve in the future!

Final Score:
FC Vārcolac Bucharest 0 - 1 Moscow Red Bears
=======================================================
Dublin Wild Hunt [Ireland] (Home)
vs
Majestic Madrid [Spain] (Away)
=======================================================
Songs filled the air on an overcast day as the Dublin
crowd enthusiastically sang songs of support for the
Dublin Wild Hunt as they begin their Kings Of Europe
season against the visiting team from Spain, Majestic
Madrid!

Early on in the 1st half Wild Hunt seemed to reward
the home crowd by controlling possession of the ball
and pressing the action with their fearsome 4 forward
attack! The Madrid defense managed to hold off the
4 pointed attack early on but couldn't seem to get
any offensive off the ground as Dublin controlled
the ball effectively! But then Madrid midfielder
Sergio Alonso stole the ball away from Dublin
forward Javier Rojas of Argentina, and passed the
ball to 18 year old Madrid forward Antonito Balsa
who sprinted down the field, avoided Dublin defender
Tomas O'Rourke, kicked the ball up over Finn O'Conner
and stepped around him in a dash and sent the ball
past Dublin defender Cristian Torres!

35:05 Goal by Antonito Balsa [Majestic Madrid]

Dublin Wild Hunt 0 - 1 Majestic Madrid

Irish eyes were not smiling! It had been noted that
Balsa was one to keep an eye on and he definitely
lived up to that by that run and goal! The Wild Hunt
definitely took notice and kept as many men on Balsa
as they could seemingly shutting down Balsa's threat.
Dublin picked up their own attack and regained control
but Madrid's defense held firm as the 1st half ended
with Madrid leading one up over Dublin!

The 2nd half began with Dublin still in control, trying
to equalize! Of course controversey had to arrive and
why not in the first week of KOE play? Dublin forward
Bradan Walsh managed to slip pass Madrid's defense and
sent the ball past Madrid GK Carlos Nadal for a Goal
that sent the Dublin crowd on their feet.. Only for
cries of anger to erupt when the referee ruled Walsh
offsides and the goal.. DISALLOWED! Wild Hunt coach
Sean Doyle went into a rage on the sidelines and many
Wild Hunt players argued with the referee but the referee
maintained his ruling and motioned for the game to
continue! Opinion seems divided among pundits from
watching the replays as to if it was offsides or not,
it was very close to being offsides if not offsides
outright! It's a controversy sure to bring much
debate over the next week!

The crowd was now actively chanting angrily towards
the referee and Majestic Madrid but they returned to
cheers for their Wild Hunt team as Dublin went back
on the offense and Walsh made several shots on goal
only to be denied by defenders and Madrid GK
Nadal every time! Dublin continued to press but Madrid
finally gained control of the game and a shot on goal
by Balsa took reflection from Dublin defender O'Rourke
which set up a corner kick for Madrid. Brazilian striker
Edinho took the corner kick for Madrid and the ball
CURLED TOWARDS THE GOAL.. ONLY FOR DUBLIN GK TORRES
TO KNOCK IT AWAY! But oh what luck for Madrid! Dublin
GK Torres knocked the ball away and it went right
towards 18 year old Balsa who headed it towards Dutch
midfielder Joris Sneijder who HEADED IT PAST TORRES!

77:21 Goal by Joris Sneijder [Majestic Madrid]

Dublin Wild Hunt 0 - 2 Majestic Madrid

Gutted! Cheated! The Dublin crowd felt it all and
perhaps rightfully so but now with less than 15
minutes left to play the Wild Hunt were down by 2 to
nil! But that was plenty of time for a game to be
turned around and Dublin Wild Hunt went back to work
in fierce fashion regaining control of the game and
pushing their offensive! Javier Rojas, Argentine forward
for Dublin, took a shot from 30 yards away only for it
to just wide of the net! Ennis O'Reily, another Dublin
Forward, tried a pass to Ardan Kennedy who went for a
header only for it to go right into the arms of Madrid
GK Nadal!

Madrid tried to tear away control from Dublin but
The Wild Hunt shut them down and Bradan Walsh recieved
a pass from midfielder Liam Quinn and made a SMASH of
a shot on goal.. ONLY FOR IT TO HIT THE RIM OF THE
GOAL AND REFLECT AWAY! What bad luck! What rotten
luck for the Wild Hunt! And unbelievably their luck
got even WORSE! With 3 minutes left in the game Walsh
took another shot on goal only for it to bounce off
the back of Madrid defender Xavi Lopez's left arm!
Dublin players immediately motioned for hand ball
which a case could definitely be made for despite
Lopez's back being turned, but.. the referee..
MOTIONED FOR PLAY TO CONTINUE! The Dublin crowd was
in an UPROAR now! The calls for Handball went
ignored, the significance being that handball
results in a penalty kick! But no PK and no luck
for Dublin on their first day of KOE play as time
ran out with the score the same!

Fans threw things towards the referee and swore
revenge on Majestic Madrid. Madrid forward Balsa
did shake Dublin forward Walsh's hand afterwards
but the crowd wasn't pleased by this at all and
let them know it! Controversy and maybe bad officiating
creating quite a stir in this game but Madrid get
the full three points!

The Final Score:
Dublin Wild Hunt 0 - 2 Majestic Madrid
=======================================================
Glasgow Horde [Scotland] (Home)
vs
London Lions [England] (Away]
=======================================================
There's an old saying around Glasgow that if you want
to enjoy the game watch it from home. If you want trouble
head for Highland Field. Highland Field, home for
Glasgow Horde and it's insane supporters! Trouble was
definitely in the air on the first day of KOE play
as the stadium full of rowdy Horde supporters seemed
ready to explode at any moment before the game had
even begun. In fact chaos erupted before the game when
both teams, the Glasgow Horde and the visitors, London
Lions, walked out onto the field for the pre-match
celebrations!

Vicious angry chants filled the air from the crowd,
most of them directed at Lions midfielder Hugh Beckham
who is looked at as a "pretty boy" among many football
fans. Some fans tried to pelt Beckham with debris but
it turned to potential DISASTER for Glasgow when a bottle
flew through the air and crashed over the head of
Horde Goalkeeper William MacCloud! The start of the game
had to be delayed as MacCloud was bandaged up and
inspected but the tough as nails goalkeeper declared he
was fit to play! And thus, bandaged and bloody, potentially
suffering a concussion, Horde GK MacCloud was on the
field and ready to play!

The 1st half began and the Glasgow Horde started off
strong, controlling the ball despite the windy conditions
and doling out rough challenges for the ball towards the
London Lions. Much abuse seemed aimed directly at Lions'
handsome midfielder Hugh Beckham to the delight of the
crowd who bombarded Hugh with all kinds of angry chants!
The angrier and rowdier the crowd the more alive it seemed
to make the Horde and it wasn't long til the Horde's
midfielders seemed to smash through the Lions' defense
to open up for Glasgow forward Alain Stewart who smashed
the ball past Lions GK Ledley Barry into the net!

17:55 Goal by Alain Stewart [Glasgow Horde]

Glasgow Horde 1 - 0 London Lions

A ROAR from the crowd, cheerful but SCARY in it's intensity,
erupted at the early lead! Fans dressed in kilts and with
painted blue faces sang joyous songs as the Horde pressed
on hoping to extend their lead. But a momentary lapse by
Horde defender Ian Douglass saw a weak pass intercepted by
Lions midfielder Stewart Terry who passed the ball to fellow
midfielder Hugh Beckham who took a shot from 40 yards away..
A ROCKET OF A SHOT THAT WENT PAST THE BLOODIED AND POSSIBLY
CONCUSSED HORDE GK MACCLOUD INTO THE NET!

25:09 Goal by Hugh Beckham [London Lions]

Glasgow Horde 1 - 1 London Lions

The anger from the Horde supporters was immediate, vile and
explosive! They began DEATH THREAT chants towards Beckham
and then Homophobic Slur chants towards the midfielder! The
Horde players decidedly picked up their intensity and began
to knock around the Lions players harder! Lions coach David
Lennon seemed ready to protest about the lack of bookings
and cards that weren't being doled out to the Horde players
but the referee may have been FRIGHTENED to give out any
cards and who could blame him at the intensity and ferocity
of the fans! The 1st half ended with the score still tied
and the crowd seemingly on the verge of a riot!

The 2nd half got underway with Glasgow focused and determined
and once again smashing through London's defense. Horde
Midfielder Gilbert Majors siezed on an opening and shot
the ball past Lions GK Barry!

50:57 Goal by Gilbert Majors [Glasgow Horde]

Glasgow Horde 2 - 1 London Lions

A FRIGHTENING noise exploded from the crowd as they
cheered in a most guttural fashion! The chants became
so loud the players couldn't really hear each other
much less the referee! The Horde tried to slow the
pace of the game down now but Lions forward
Hugo Carvalho managed to get ahold of the ball and
made a run towards goal and took a shot that MacCloud
EASILY knocked away.. But Lions Midfielder Gilberto
Silva was there to intercept the ball and pass it
towards Midfielder Hugh Beckham who siezes on the
opportunity as MacCloud is out of position from
clearing out Carvalho's shot and puts it in the net!

57:09 Goal by Hugh Beckham [London Lions]

Glasgow Horde 2 - 2 London Lions

My Goodness! If you thought the Glasgow crowd was
angry and vile towards Beckham before, they were
now even worse! And if you thought the Horde were
rough before they were even ROUGHER towards their
opponents the London Lions! Horde defender Eric
Jameson was WAY too rough and in the box area towards
London forward Steven Lescott and the referee,
took a HUGE gulp, and worked up the courage to
POINT TO THE SPOT!

The crowd went WILD with RAGE! Death Threat chants
began towards the referee! Awarding a PK to the
Lions in Glasgow?! This referee must've had a death
wish or had a case of bravery or stupidity! Either
way Lions midfielder Stewart Terry took the PK
instead of Lescott and a bandaged, bloodied and
possibly concussed MacCloud wasn't able to predict
which way the PK would go in time!

62:12 Goal by Stewart Terry [London Lions]

Glasgow Horde 2 - 3 London Lions

Oh the anger from the crowd! Now they were BLASTING
their GK MacCloud for allowing so many shots in! The
tough as nails goal keeper definitely seemed to bristle
with anger at the predicament! The whole team seemed
to bristle with anger at the situation! In front of
the craziest most violent fans in the world on their
first game in Kings Of Europe they were down 3 to 2!
With the crowd raining down the harshest of treatments
to their own club the team, perhaps scared of what
would happen to them if they didn't give it a fighting
go, did what only they could do.. They set off
fighting as hard as they could!

The Horde took control of the game and put Lions
defense to task as the forwards took repeated shots
on goal and the midfield kept stripping the ball
repeatedly from the Lions and trying to create
goal shot opportunities. But time was ticking, the
crowd was growing gloomier and ANGRIER as more time
was passing! They were within 10 minutes left in the
2nd half and they were STILL down 3-2! But the
Horde's midfield stepped up their game even more and
roughly handled London's midfield and defenders
and opened the field up for Glasgow forward Liam
Fletcher who sprinted to take on Lions GK Barry
on one on one, and Fletcher MADE IT COUNT!

81:28 Goal by Liam Fletcher [Glasgow Horde]

Glasgow Horde 3 - 3 London Lions

Perhaps God is a fan of the Horde squad because now
they were no longer trailing but had equalized and
the crowd that seemed ready to maim and murder it's
own was now IN ROARING CELEBRATION! Hope had returned
and the Horde knew how to deal with it! They continued
to press and Midfielder Andrew Jacobs made sure to
knock a few defenders to the ground and saw no forwards
in position so he took the shot himself.. AND THANKFULLY
FOR HIM IT WAS A SMASH OF A SHOT THAT FLEW PAST LIONS
GK BARRY!

85:57 Goal by Andrew Jacobs [Glasgow Horde]

Glasgow Horde 4 - 3 London Lions

An IMMENSE Emotional ERUPTION from the crowd that was
now in FULL Primal Rage Celebration! Less than
five minutes to go, Horde are on top! And with 4 goals
if things held they would emerge from this game as the
top team after week one play with 4 goals to their
credit! Just imagine if London were to somehow tie
this game up in the last minute, oh how the crowd would
react, probably murder everyone on the field! Just
imagine the horror and.. Hugh Beckham, London's
handsome midfielder, he gets ahold of the ball, there's
like a minute left, GOOD LORD HAVE MERCY ON EVERYONE!
BECKHAM'S GOING FOR ANOTHER LONG RANGE SHOT! He beat
MacCloud earlier with a long range rocket and now with
a minute left, he's sprinting and he shoots, 30 yards
away.. ANOTHER ROCKET! EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE ON
THAT FIELD.. NO! WILLIAM MACCLOUD, BANDAGED-BLOODIED-
POSSIBLY CONCUSSED, LEAPS INTO THE AIR AND CATCHES THE
SHOT! MACCLOUD BLOCKS THE ROCKET!

The crowd is going NUTS! Time runs out and THE HORDE
HAVE DONE IT! Lions are GUTTED! MacCloud is REDEEMED
though! He beats Beckham's last shot! The crowd makes
sure to unleash the harshest chants towards Hugh
Beckham yet as the Lions leave the field and the
ruckous roar of a fierce wind and a violently celebratory
crowd is unleashed! The Horde have won it, siezed
the top spot in the league in the first week and
perhaps saved themselves from being lynched by a
potentially angry crowd! It's joyous bedlam in
Glasgow for the early leaders in Kings Of Europe!

The Final Score:
Glasgow Horde 4 - 3 London Lions
=======================================================
The Standings After Week One Play in KOE:
[W=win, D=draw, L=loss, G=goals, P=points]

01-Glasgow Horde W:1 D:0 L:0 G:4 P:3
02-Majestic Madrid W:1 D:0 L:0 G:2 P:3
03-Moscow Red Bears W:1 D:0 L:0 G:1 P:3
04-Amsterdam Admirals W:0 D:1 L:0 G:3 P:1
04-Rome Legionaires W:0 D:1 L:0 G:3 P:1
05-Berlin Brewers W:0 D:1 L:0 G:0 P:1
05-Paris Parrots W:0 D:1 L:0 G:0 P:1
06-London Lions W:0 D:0 L:1 G:3 P:0
07-Dublin Wild Hunt W:0 D:0 L:1 G:0 P:0
07-FC Vārcolac Bucharest W:0 D:0 L:1 G:0 P:0
=======================================================
Top Goal Scorers After Week One Play in KOE:

01-Hugh Beckham [London Lions] G:02
01-Giorgio Zambrotta [Rome Legionaires] G:02
02-Maarten van Bommel [Amsterdam Admirals] G:01
02-Edson Ooijer [Amsterdam Admirals] G:01
02-Dirk Schaars [Amsterdam Admirals] G:01
02-Alain Stewart [Glasgow Horde] G:01
02-Gilbert Majors [Glasgow Horde] G:01
02-Liam Fletcher [Glasgow Horde] G:01
02-Andrew Jacobs [Glasgow Horde] G:01
02-Stewart Terry [London Lions] G:01
02-Antonito Balsa [Majestic Madrid] G:01
02-Joris Sneijder [Majestic Madrid] G:01
02-Roman Saenko [Moscow Red Bears] G:01
02-Joey Morretti [Rome Legionaires] G:01
=======================================================
Next Week's Games:
Paris Parrots host Amsterdam Admirals
Moscow Red Bears host Berlin Brewers
Majestic Madrid host FC Vārcolac Bucharest
London Lions host Dublin Wild Hunt
Rome Legionaires host Glasgow Horde
=======================================================
What an exciting first week of Kings Of Europe! Thanks
for reading and see you next time! - 'Dro
=======================================================
©2009 FFN
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ShaunSindelman
The White Shadow
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Damn that McCloud! At least London can deal with Dublin next week.

And I feel bad for the fans at the Rome/Glasgow game because if the Legionaires are anything like the real Roma fans, it's going to be insane.
TSWF (Tri-State Wrestling Federation) - Bigger & Bolder Wrestling - http://tristatewrestling.yolasite.com
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orklad
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The Luther Burger
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I wonder if my fans will be getting stopped at the border for hooliganism...
Orklad

or

Don, Lord of Pudding
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