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[MBC] Tuesday Bloody Tuesday - May 20th, 2009
Topic Started: May 27 2009, 04:15 PM (623 Views)
MBCKyle
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The Soda Dog Refreshment Squad
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Camera fades to a large, empty classroom... empty, that is, except for a long table on one side, behind which sits "The Disgruntled Postal Worker" James Hardi, impatiently waiting for someone or something. There is a sign that reads:

"PRELIMINARY WRESTLER AUDITIONS"

His waiting is rewarded when a tall man -- a virtual doppelganger for Richard Roundtree, in his Shaft days -- steps in. He's dressed in what looks like a black leather suit, and he strokes his handlebar mustache as he takes DPW in. Finally, he upnods in greeting.]

Pole: What it is, sucka. I'm John Pole.

JH: Ok, nice. The 70’s are due to come back in style any day. What’s your gimmick? Return of Shaft?

[John Pole frowns and shakes his cane at DPW.]

Pole: Don't play the fool. I ain't Shaft. But I do represent the best choice in a stable of preliminary wrestlers your cracker eyes have ever seen. We are... the International League of SHAFT.

[Isaac Hayes' "Theme from Shaft" starts playing, apparently from nowhere.]

Pole: Prepare to have yo' ass DAZZLED.

[Pole steps to the side and points his cane toward the open door.]

Pole: First I want you to meet our heavyweight... this cat's from outer space. I mean all the way, you dig? Check out Astronaut Shaft.

[And in the door walks an astronaut. Yes, he's fully suited out, with even the bubble-head helmet.. on which sits a massive afro, apparently glued there. And Astronaut Shaft, like John Pole, is wearing a black leather suit over his astronaut gear.]

JH: .. I am very impressed. But not in a way that I’d like express out loud. How do you.. plan to wrestle with the astronaut suit on? They don’t have very good mobility and It probably takes 45 minutes to take off.

Pole: He just gets on a top rope -- which takes a little while -- then he falls on them. Great show, man. Kids love him. You dig. OK, shuffle over, Astronaut Shaft.

[Astronaut Shaft does just that, carefully working his way over to Pole's side. "Theme from Shaft" begins again as Pole points toward the door with his cane.]

Pole: So you seen our big man, but who's our quick man? Who can fight the technical fight and do amazin' [MEEP] that keeps the asses in the seats. Well here you go. Let me show you.. AMISH SHAFT.

[In steps a man in an Amish outfit. He seems like any other Amish guy might seem -- stovetop hat, simple black and white clothing, beard -- except his suit is, of course, made of leather. Presumably leather he tanned himself. Inexplicably, he has an orange traffic triangle on his back.. more typically seen on the back of Amish buggies.]

Pole: What you got to say for yourself, Amish Shaft?

Amish Shaft: I am here among the English to kick ass and churn butter.

[Dramatic pause as Amish Shaft looks around the room.]

Amish Shaft: And I see no butter that needs churning.

JH: .. cafeteria is down the hall if you’d like to help. I mean, wait. The Amish are against violence, right? What would you do if I walked up and clotheslined you right here? You’d actually fight back and.. uhm, churn my ass?

[Amish Shaft starts to speak, but John Pole cuts him off.]

Pole: Hey man, we got a lot of talent for you to see, can't have you questioning every one of them like this. Who you want to see next, man? RoboShaft? Swiss Army Shaft? Baby Shaft?


JH: The MBC does have an age limit so how about we go with Swiss Army Shaft. What kind of qualifications does he bring to the table and can he pick a side?

Pole: I dig. This cat, he's got an answer for everything. SWISS ARMY SHAFT, GET YO MONKEY [MEEP] IN HERE!

[And in comes Swiss Army Shaft, the cracker-est cracker you ever saw. He's dressed in full red leather, and on his head sits the most improbable of afros: bright red, with a white cross painted into the front of it. He's also wearing a grey utility belt, which appears to be adorned with all kinds of things... both useful and not.]

S.A.S.: [Unintelligible sounds]

JH: What did he just say?

Pole: Couldn't tell you, man. In his search for neutrality he forgot all languages but Esperanto. And since no one else in the whole damn world speaks Esperanto, we ain't had much to talk about since then. But the man's got everything you could want: corkscrew, bottle opener, toothpick, tweezers...

JH: Ok. I pick this guy. Why don't you just roll out the best Shaft that's left just so I can be sure.

Pole: Yeah. You got it. Swiss Army Shaft! Get yo' ass over to the side! Bear Shaft, get in here!

JH: Bear Shaft?

[Swiss Army Shaft moves to the side to join the others, and all of them flinch as something in the next room -- yeah, it sounds like a bear -- roars so hard everything in the room rattles. John Pole slips on a catcher's mask.]

Pole: You sure you're ready for this?

JH: If it's a bear in an afro, no.

[Another roar, and the other Shafts huddle in a corner as John Pole backs away from the door.]

Pole: Don't think we got a choice no more, boss man.

[And then it happens: a bear in an afro wig rampages into the room, roaring to shake the rafters down. John Pole pulls a raw steak from inside his coat and holds it up to catch the bear's attention.]

Pole: I throw this thing in the corner, the rest of you get your asses outta here! You dig?!

Amish Shaft: Aye!

[Astronaut Shaft waves his recognition and John Pole throws the steak into the far corner of the room -- and Bear Shaft charges after it. The camera cuts out just as the camera man -- along with DPW, John Pole, and the Shafts -- charges out the door at top speed.

Fade to intro.

"Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" by Bruce Dickenson with Godspeed quickly begins to play as the opening credits kick into motion. We're treated to various images of the MBC's most recent spectacular 2X4 2008...]

#You've seen life through distorted eyes#
#You know you had to learn#
#The execution of your mind#
#You really had to turn#

[The first image we see is the flashback to the mid 80's with Slush wearing Addidas... little people dressed just like him... the appearance of "The Devil's Mother"... the spectacle of the 2X4 Tournament Third Round match... Kathryn Elyson and Andrea Kristian taking on Susan Davis and Tesla St. James... Mike Reznor and TENMA Akamu going toe to toe... the preliminary wrestlers swarming in...]

#The race is run the book is read#
#The end begins to show#

[The insanity of Lights Camera Action beating the tar out of referees who think they're wrestlers... The Chromosomes appearing and taking the fight to LCA... Hands punching through a wall to grab Slush by the throat... Max Benson and Ryu Osawa taking The Omen down and both covering for the pin... Erik Grimsson and Jan Delgado getting the final word in on Holly Hotbody and Brawn Stevenson...]

#The truth is out, the lies are old#
#But you don’t want to know#

[Stan Crawford locked into a physical showdown with Chromosome Y... Dalbello Rage using every trick in her book in order to keep Jerry Titus down... Kiora Donavon and Amber Rogers winning the Psycho Driver Tag Team titles from Leanna and Lolita Love... The Omen delivering prophecy to Slush...]

#Nobody will ever let you know#
#When you ask the reasons why#
#They just tell you that you're on your own#
#Fill your head all full of lies...#

[The return of Tinkle... The Return of R.U.N.T... The Problem Solvers getting the win over Fury in a brutal Falls Count Anywhere Match... Tom Landis, One-Winged Angel, Myra Benedict, and Tara Marshall all brawling into the crowd... Jerry Titus and Stan Crawford beating one another bloody... Jerry Titus holding the SBC Title victorious... The return of the Hand of Doom...]

#...YOU BASTARD!!!#

[The image lingers before it gives way to the guitar solo and logo...]

______ __ ___ __ __
/_ __/_ _____ ______/ /__ ___ __/ _ )/ /__ ___ ___/ /_ __
/ / / // / -_|_-< _ / _ `/ // / _ / / _ Y _ Y _ / // /
/_/ \_,_/\__/___|_,_/\_,_/\_, /____/_/\___|___|_,_/\_, /
/_ __/_ ____/___/___/ /__ ___ __ /___/
/ / / // / -_|_-< _ / _ `/ // /
/_/ \_,_/\__/___|_,_/\_,_/\_, /
/___/

D E S O L A T E , E X I L E D A N D
D E S P E R A T E T O U R

M a y 2 0 t h , 2 0 0 9

J o e L o u i s A r e n a

D e t r o i t , M i c h i g a n


[The logo fades and we see that yes, we at least have a full arena. Thank God for small favors I suppose. The crowd is all there, unless they were tricky and bumped people down to the lower arena and turned the lights out upstairs. You know, to make the arena look more full. We are soon taken to our team of commentators.]

Skullhead: Welcome everyone to a somewhat belated episode of Tuesday Bloody Tuesday.

[At right, as always, even in the most strange of times is Robert Harrison-Skoehl, known to the world as Skullhead.]

Pinhead: It's so very odd that we've got a Tuesday Bloody Tuesday on a Wednesday.

[At the center of our trio is the lanky hero named Ian McAllister. The ladies call him Pinhead.]

Skullhead: As big as Detroit is, none of the other facilities could take the show at the last minute. And we couldn't tape the show on Monday because well... the Red Wings didn't want to take down the boards and ice.

Slush: They just want to win the Stanley Cup so they can take it to the local pawn shop.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Hockey players got tooth replacements to pay for! They're human like most of us!

[And at left... yes... it's Slush.]

Tinkle: MEEP!

[Plus that hamster.]

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: In these harsh economic times, one just has to step back, look at your multimillion dollar house and realize that priorities have to be set. Cutbacks need to be made.

Pinhead: And what exactly are you cutting back on?

Slush: Tom Landis merchandise.

Pinhead: You bought Landis merchandise?

Slush: I needed something for my fireplace.


Pinhead: There are many things that can go on the mantle...

Slush: The mantle? My disgust for Tom Landis has warmed me many nights thanks to the flames his cheap wares provide. If it says "Made in Canada", it burns like gangbusters.

Pinhead: I really have no reply to that.

Skullhead: Despite the show being moved, we still have a great show planned for you folks. Two of the MBC's up and coming teams will face off as The Dreams take on the Neon Knights.

Pinhead: Most importantly, we'll get to see Deanna Orlofski in person.

Slush: You can see her in person quite often if you try hard enough.

Pinhead: Yes, but your method usually ends up with a restraining order. Or mace to the eyes.

Slush: You build up a tolerance after a while.

Skullhead: In the first of what could prove to be a career changing gauntlet, Jan Delgado steps into the ring against Luna Cordova. A win could take her one step closer to a one on one match against her cousin Holly Hotbody.

Pinhead: I'm sure Holly has cooked up something for Jan in all this. One can't be in the Hand of Doom and NOT plot something sinister.

Slush: Don't go there. The Hand of Doom is just another little social club that Holly dedicates her time too. She's such a charitable soul.

Pinhead: Flattering her doesn't mean you'll get to see her naked.

Slush: Damnit.

Skullhead: In a match I really am unable to describe, the owner and president of the MBC Kyle Lee will fight John Vengeance. Vengeance has stated that the rules of this match tonight are highly controversial, so much in fact, that this match has been banned in many spots across the world.

Pinhead: Yet, somehow, it's allowed in the MBC. And we wonder why the MBC is constantly at odds with any number of alphabet agencies.

Slush: Have we pissed off the FBI yet?

Pinhead: If not, give it time.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Why would you have a FBI profile?

Tinkle; MEEP!

Slush: You disgust me!

Skullhead: In our main event, the Psycho Driver Tag Team Titles will be on the line in a Strange Bedfellows Match.

Pinhead: Which is a fancy label to say that the teams don't like each other and the wrestlers don't like their partners.

Slush: Chaos means ratings!

Pinhead: How... prophetic...

Skullhead: An omen of things to come?

Slush: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP ABOUT OMEN! HIS WORDS MEAN NOTHING!

Pinhead: Now he's just making it too easy.

Skullhead: All this and we'll have some controversial footage from the recent Angels and Amazons. MBC legal teams certainly had some fun with this one.

Pinhead: Is it true that we have more lawyers on the payroll than wrestlers?

Skullhead: Seems like we almost have to.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Skullhead: Our first match of the evening will be a bit of a treat. We've got two teams with a lot of great, young talent.

Slush: And one side with a hot manager.

Pinhead: Yeah, that too.

Skullhead: See, now both of you are creeping me out with this Deanna Orlofski obsession.

Pinhead: Just a... healthy admiration.

Slush: Any red blooded male would be insane not to appreciate what she brings to the table.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Right, or ones not castrated by marriage.

Skullhead: HEY!

Pinhead: Ouch.

Skullhead: While Orlofski is quite the capable manager, the focus of this match should be her team, Jim and Ronald Purcell.

Pinhead: Though, much of the notice may go to their new bodyguard, Jonas "Dutch" Elm.

Skullhead: Correct. That man was a beast in Bastard Stampede and should he interject himself on the Neon Knight's behalf, things will get ugly quickly.

Slush: Unless Deanna gives us that pouty face...

[Pinhead and Slush sigh just thinking about it.]

Skullhead: Let's hope Brandon Young and Vic Parker can stand up to Deanna better than you two.

______________________________________________________
/_ __/ __ )_ __/
/ / / __ |/ / THE DREAMS versus
/ / / /_/ // / THE NEON KNIGHTS
/_/ /_____//_/
|____________________________________Writer: Kyle B. Lee


[Vic Parker and Brandon Young were their usual excited selves, marching to the ring and responding to all those who had reached out to them. They were still somewhat new to the MBC but the fans welcomed them warmly regardless. Those who entertain are treated well it seemed. However, the warm greeting they received was nothing like that which the Neon Knights received. Okay, it was mostly for Deanna Orlofski but still, Ronald and Jim could imagine it was for them. Maybe they did. Maybe they were just clueless. Deanna led the way, followed by the Knights and of course, their massive bodyguard, Jonas Elm. "Dutch" was like a chained animal, just waiting to be unleashed. And as the match began, Elm's possible participation was an obvious concern for the Dreams.]

Slush: I bet you Elm would kill at a hot dog eating contest.

Pinhead: Think he could eat a lot?

Slush: Wasn’t the hot dogs I was thinking about...


[The match was much what could be expected. Highly energetic if not unspectacular. The two teams felt one another out before being too tricky. The Dreams seemed to have gotten a game plan first though, turning the momentum in their favor. Parker especially took it to Jim Purcell. But Ronald Purcell played his power game and brought things to an even level. Young and Ronald toiled for a while with both Vic and Jim cheering their respective partners on. But all eyes were really on Deanna, who yelled as loud as possible to help her men get an advantage. Elm remained silent and still, but the time came when Elm swung a mighty paw at Parker. Things degraded into chaos as Parker and young retaliated. But Elm's size was overwhelming. The referee called for the bell and tried to settle thing to no avail. It was useless really until Mike Reznor charged down to the ring and chased Elm off. Where Elm went, the Knights and Orlofski followed.]

RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this match by disqualification... Vic Parker and Brandon Young... THE DREAMS!!!

Skullhead: It was a matter of time really before Elm interjected himself into the match.

Slush: What makes you say that?

Skullhead: He's not the type to sit back and not hit something.

Pinhead: Mike Reznor isn't the sort either. And after Reznor's fight with Elm a few weeks ago at a Bastard Stampede show, it's not surprising that the "Big Nasty Bastard" was waiting.

Slush: What about...

Pinhead: Don't even think about asking about the BBQ.

Slush: But...

Pinhead: No. Do not.

Slush: I hate you.

Pinhead: Good. Because my life would be hell if you wanted to be my friend.

Tinkle: MEEP!

[Scenic Civic Center Drive runs parallel to the river, passing by Detroit's Joe Louis Arena. On one side, the storied venue, currently hosting the habitual Red Wings playoff game. On the other, a few rows of small trees and shrubbery, and the river. A couple is enjoying the sunset, and the view on the windy riverfront.

He is quite short, paunchy, meek and balding.

She is young, strong, tall, stunning and blond.

She speaks.

Woman: I didn't know Canada was that ugly, Daddy.

Man: Th-that's just Win... Windsor, honey. I, I, I couldn't say if the rest of Canada is ugly t-too.

Woman: Building such an ugly city is stupid, though. I guess they were copying Detroit.

Man: Well, you know Canadians. Always copying Americans, right? What's that all aboot, eh?

[He nervously laughs while she stares at him blankly, her sparkling blue eyes uncomprehending. He fidgets, clears his throat, and licks his lips.]

Man: Hrm... It's It's... it's because ka, ka ... Canadians t-talk funny l-l-like that. They say eh, and aboot all, all ... all the time.

Woman: Do they?

Man: Dint, dint-Didn't you hear g-girls like kor-Corvette or tess... tess...Tesluh-Tess, Tesla S-s-s, S-s-s... Saint-

Woman: TESLA ST-JAMES! It's not that hard to say, Wallet!

Man: Y-yes. Didn't you hear them at ain-ain-Angels and Amamama-ama...

[Oh, yes... That's why they had familiar faces... That duo appeared at Angels and Amazons.]

Woman: Was I supposed to listen to those girls?

Man: I gu-guess not, Eveline.

[Eveline Eriksen, the Norwegian "Viking Vixen" and her sugar daddy slash manager William Houlder, it's all coming back, now. Since real wrestling was kicked out of Dallas, it's been harder to keep track of everything. Not sure if welcoming the "Viking Vixen" aboard would help permanently dock the MBC ship somewhere...]

VVEE: So what league did you sign me in? At least, Detroit is bigger than Albany...

Wallet: We-w-we call 'em feds in Am-america, honey.

VVEE: Just as long as you didn't get me into that dumb league with a thighmaster. I saw that thing in Albany and I want no part of it.

[The pudgy man frantically fidgets while the sweat pearling on his forehead glints in the sunset.]

Wallet: W-well...

VVEE: I don't care how prestigious people claim it is, it's a thighmaster. Who cares about history and meaning? If it's not gold, it's worthless. What do you think a woman wants as a gift, Will? Some worthless trinket with meaning, or diamond earrings?

Wallet: M..maybe if you explain the mean-

VVEE: Wrong, Wallet. The only answer is diamond earrings. Or a gold necklace. You get the picture, right? Meanings change, but gold remains. That's how you measure love and worth. I pity the idiot who tries to win me over with some cheap garbage.

[Discreetly, Bill Houlder throws a small, delicate and ornate gift bag over the railing and into the river.]

VVEE: I want gold belts, Daddy. Thick, shiny, gold belts. As many of them as I can get.

Wallet: Muh-Maybe...

VVEE: So who's the top dog in this place?

Wallet: K-kai..Kyle Lee.

VVEE: Skitt, Wallet! I hate it when a woman runs the league. Kylie who?

Wallet: N-no... no. M-Mister Lee, Kyle L-Lee.

VVEE: Oooh. Enunciate, Daddy, enunciate. So it's a man, then. [She meditatively cogitates.] Horizons broaden. Is he young? It might be a little bit harder, but it's also less painful when they're younger.

Wallet: What do you mean?

VVEE: Oh, uh... I mean... old people smell strange. So I prefer younger men. Smells are important to little girls, Daddy. That's why perfume is so expensive.

[Bill Houlder looks up at his girlfriend imploringly, like there's a question he wants to ask that doesn't dare stutter out of his lips. Eveline sighs.]

VVEE: You're not old, Will. Old people are way older than you are.

[With a twitch, he grins, relieved.]

VVEE: Can we go see this Kyle Lee, now? I believe I have a rendez-vous!

[The image fades as the couple crosses Civic Center Drive towards the Joe Louis Arena.]

Slush: Ah, to be old and with a call girl on my arm.

Pinhead: You realize that you're about the same age as that guy.

Skullhead: And she's no call girl. Eveline Eriksen is an extremely talented wrestler as many of our audience may have seen at Angels and Amazons. If she's coming to the MBC, then that is a fantastic addition.

Slush: Oh she wrestles? I guess that's a bonus.

Pinhead: You guess?

Slush: I was just thinking of the MBC swimsuit calendar.

Pinhead: You know, the women of the MBC bring far more than their looks.

Slush: What? What are you talking about?

Pinhead: What are YOU talking about?

Slush: If this Viking woman wants to earn her keep, she better know how to work a camera. I've been working out. I'm ready to go "speedo" for the MBC calendar.

Pinhead: God, that is disgusting on so many levels.

Skullhead: Can we find something else to distract us please?

[The camera cuts to the backstage area of the Joe Louis Arena. Here, we find Erik Grimsson just now exiting the commissioner's office. Dressed in a pair of ripped blue jeans, a black "Dark Angel- Time Does Not Heal" longsleeve t-shirt, black Nike amateur wrestling shoes, and a black Detroit Tigers baseball cap, a very angry look is etched on his face. Sporting a large brace on his left knee, Erik begins to limp away, clearly upset about something.

Walking along he comes to a red headed female sitting atop a pile of crates. She is known to all as Tesla St. James and she looks at Erik with a worried expression.]

TSJ: Do I need to ask?

[Erik shrugs his shoulders in a frustrated manner, yet doesn't break his stride.]

Erik: That's totally up to you.

TSJ: You know being pissed off about it isn't going to help.

[Tesla looks Erik up and down]

TSJ: I'm guessing you didn't get a hometown match because of your knee?

[Erik now stops in his tracks and turns to Tes.]

Erik: I don't know. I mean, dude, you get pissed about everything and it seems to work for you.

[Erik now let's out a deep sigh.]

Erik: And yeah, that's basically it. It's such bull[MEEP], you know?

TSJ: I hardly find a concern for your health to be bull[MEEP]. I'm sure they appreciate... no, I know they appreciate your work ethic. But they don't want to see you get anymore hurt than you are.

[Erik rolls his eyes in frustration.]

Erik: That oughtta be my call! It's my leg, you know. Besides, I haven't lost a step, so there's no reason to bench me.

TSJ: You do realize that the brace and your knee is a huge target right? It's obviously hurting you and the more you ignore it, the worse its going to get.

[Erik nods his head.]

Erik: Well, yeah, I do. Just don't really care is all. If it gets worse, well, that's just what happens. I came here to fight, not to get coddled.

[Tesla starts to grow visibly angry and hops off the crates to look him right in the eye.]

TSJ: Looking out for your best interests is hardly coddling, Erik.

[Erik's eyes narrow as he glares down at Tesla.]

Erik: You know, Myra was so right about you, Tes. You totally insert yourself into affairs that are none of your business.

[Folding his arms across his chest, he straightens up and looks Tes in the eyes.]

Erik: So maybe before you go around trying to fix everyone else, you should really consider addressing your own issues first. And since you’re so big on people’s health and safety, I'd say the perfect place to start is that massive drinking problem of yours.

[Tesla's eyes go from razor thin to wide with rage. Before Erik can react, Tesla kicks at his weak knee. It quickly buckles as Tesla locks up Erik's arms and presses hard on the back of Erik's bad knee, forcing it to the concrete floor. To his credit, Erik doesn't yell out but the pain is obvious. Erik could slip the hold on his arms but with the angry redhead practically standing on his knee, he may be a bit distracted.]

TSJ: You've said it yourself Erik. You're not that smart. Right now, you're down right ignorant.

[Tesla's boot presses even harder on the back of Erik's knee.]

TSJ: I can live with that you know. But you're showing me a kind of disrespect I would have never, EVER expected from you. Myra and I don't get along and I certainly bit my tongue on a lot of things. I want to say that she's nothing but a poison tongue in your ear. But you're not going to listen. Instead you're going to deflect your problems at me and make accusations based on half truths and moronic assumptions.

[And harder...]

TSJ: If you're not going to listen to me about your [MEEP]damned knee then you're not going to listen to me about anything. It's a target Erik, a big fat bullseye that each and every one of your opponents are going to focus in on it. And the Hand of Doom? The Hand of [MEEP]ing Doom? Your last match was just the start. And they won't be satisfied till not only your knee is broken but your spirit.

[And now HARDer...]

TSJ: Your damn pride is blinding you.

[Tesla finally lets go and backs off.]

TSJ: Doesn't matter. You don't want to be coddled. So yeah, I won't "coddle" you. Hell, I'll go down to Kyle's office and tell him myself that you want to fight.

And when your knee buckles for the last time under the weight of your [MEEP]ing pride, don't come looking for me. I can tell you right now without even having to think about it. I told you so.

[And with that, Tesla walks away. Erik slowly stands up to his feet, his left knee clearly in pain. However, you wouldn't know it by the look on his face. A look of pure rage and resentment.]

Erik: I don't ever remember asking for your meddling in the first place, you [MEEP]ing drunk. And as far as I'm concerned, we're finished.

[But no one is there. Tesla may have heard as Erik's voice echoes through the hall. But we may never know. Fade.]

Pinhead: Wow. Just wow. That is a friendship I never thought I'd see fall apart.

Skullhead: And so quickly to boot.

Slush: Let the moron wrestle. Let his knee go supernova. See if anyone cares.

Pinhead: I can understand the concern but maybe Tesla was being a little over protective.

Skullhead: Perhaps. But anybody who knows Tesla St. James knows she's fiercely loyal to friends and family.

Pinhead: And Erik really struck a nerve for Tesla to go off like that.

Skullhead: In his defense though, she has a very short temper.

Pinhead: Going to have to say that I'm sure both of them are regretting it already.

Slush: Regret is for quitters! You do something stupid, you live up to it!

Pinhead: ...

Skullhead: ...

Tinkle: ...

Slush: What?

[The scene opens to the arena. Specifically, the box seats, where a lone Holly Hotbody sits, clad in a black bikini and heels, auburn hair falling down her back. Her eyes are glued to the ring when her bodyguard, Brawn Stevenson, enters. He's wearing a black T-shirt and jeans, carrying twin glasses of champagne. He hands a glass to Holly before taking a seat.]

Holly: Right on time. Jan's match is coming up next.

Brawn: Ah, cool!

[He rubs his hands together.]

Brawn: This should be good. Your stupid cousin's finally going to get what's coming to her.

[Holly nods with a grin.]

Holly: Of course, and after Luna is done with that wretch, Jan will be forced to return to my side. Then I will make her life a living Hell for daring to turn her back on me. And when I'm done, she'll either fall into line or fall apart. [she shrugs] I'm not particularly picky on either.

Brawn: Awesome. Breaking people rocks!

Holly: Especially when they're so very deserving.

[Holly raises her glass and the duo toasts.]

Brawn: Siznap!

[Fade.]

Slush: Now see, I bet Holly knows how to work a camera. She'd be the perfect photographer for my photo shoot.

Pinhead: She knows how to work a camera for sure, but not really from the side you're thinking.

Slush: What makes you say that? Just because she wears a bikini out in public? That's downright smart thinking. Only the truly awesome can be that confident in their body. In fact, being that awesome, I should free myself the same way.

Pinhead: I swear to God Slush, if you even thinking about taking off your pants, I will find some way to make you hate me worse than Tom Landis.

Slush: Wow dude. What’s with all the sudden bad vibes?

Skullhead: Well as Holly said, Jan Delgado's next match is next. As we saw on the last episode of TBT, Jan wants a piece of Holly...

Slush: Don't we all?

Skullhead: ...but to get it, Jan has to go through a gauntlet. And with the Hand of Doom supporting Holly...

Slush: Oh how I'd like to support Holly's...

Pinhead: SLUSH!

Skullhead; No matter what, this is going to be a tough challenge for Jan. Possibly the biggest of her career.

Pinhead: Just wait till she has to do guest commentary with Slush. Then we'll see what her definition of tough is.

[The scene opens backstage where we find Jan Delgado, making her way through the area. The young woman is wearing a red, hooded sweat shirt and denim mini skirt. She also wears a pair of black boots, her long, black hair styled in a ponytail. As she rounds a corner, her eyes light up at the sight of The Love Sisters, Leanna and Lolita, both dressed in black tracksuits. The two sisters are deep in conversation, their backs to Jan.]

Jan: Lolita! Leanna!

[The two women turn and Jan walks over to them, Lolita immediately smiling.]

Lolita: Hey, girl!

[Lolita and Jan embrace warmly as Leanna grins, folding her arms across her chest.]

Leanna: What's up? You ready to kick Cordova [Meep] tonight?

[Jan takes a deep breath and nods.]

Jan: If beating one of those weirdo twins up is the way to finally get to my skank cousin, then [Meep] yeah! I'm so sick and tired of Holly and her stupid tricks. Every time I turn around, she's either in my face, running her [Meep]ing mouth, or pulling some of her usual annoying crap.

[Jan shakes her head.]

Jan: It's like she thinks she rules the world and can do whatever she wants to whoever she wants, without any consequences. I'm honestly done with her and all of her bullying.

Leanna: Hey, you're preaching to the choir here, Jan. We've got no apologies for our sister and we can sympathize.

Lolita: Yeah, Leanna and I have had more than our fair share of ugly altercations with Holly. Thankfully, it all seems to be over. [frowns] It's too bad that her attention seems to have shifted to you though. You certainly don't deserve any of her crap.

Jan: Thanks, guys. Hopefully, this will all be over once I beat these opponents she's lined up for me and then kick her [Meep] too. Because the alternative...

[Jan shivers as her voice trails off.]

Lolita: Don't even think about it! You're going to make it through all of her challenges and then beat her too.

Leanna: And, when you do it, make sure you get a few cheap shots in for us too.

Jan: [laughs] Count on it. Anyway, I'd better go and get ready.

[Jan suddenly pauses.]

Jan: By the way, what are you guys doing here tonight? You don't have any matches, right?

[Leanna and Lolita exchange sly looks before returning their attention to Jan.]

Leanna: Well, if you'll remember the last show, someone...

Lolita: [interrupts] Or _someones_.

Leanna: [nods] Right. Played a nasty little trick on 'Lita, putting itching powder in her wrestling clothes.

Lolita: [makes a face] Yeah, and we have a pretty good idea on who did it. Now, we aim to do something about it.

Leanna: See, you're not the only one with business to take care of tonight.

Jan: [smiles] So, I see. Well, good luck, ladies.

Lolita: Likewise!

[Fade.]

______________________________________________________
/_ __/ __ )_ __/
/ / / __ |/ / LUNA CORDOVA versus
/ / / /_/ // / JAN DELGADO
/_/ /_____//_/
|____________________________________Writer: Kyle B. Lee


[With Holly Hotbody watching overhead, Luna Cordova couldn't help but honor her fellow Hand of Doom member by coming out dressed in Holly's signature style. Holly approved quite a lot as did most of the fans in attendance. Okay, the men. Ah, the male brain. You'll see quite a lot of it tonight I think. Now, when Jan Delgado appeared, the fans adored her. People love an underdog and in this whole gauntlet situation, Jan was the very epitome of underdog. But underdogs can be pit bulls too. And when Jan saw that Luna Cordova was imitating Holly Hotbody, it only fortified her resolve to walk into this match strong and to walk out the winner.]

Slush: Ever see those tiny dogs that go "yip yip" really loudly and have too small a teeth to break the skin?

Pinhead: I suppose I have yeah.

Slush: That's what Jan reminds me of.

Pinhead: Come on now, that's not fair.

Slush: What's not fair is how people treat Holly Hotbody. Such a wonderful soul so foully mistreated.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Yes I think you could take out one of those dogs.

[Jan didn't wait for the bell, going right after her opponent. Being a student of Kathryn Elyson, Luna was certainly not opposed to playing with her food. Luna kept her distance and allowed Jan to grow more angry. As Delgado kept coming after Cordova, Jan became more and more prone to mistakes, all to the delight of Holly Hotbody in her luxury suite. Luna herself couldn’t' help but enjoy toying with the young woman. Finally Luna would start to go to work on wearing Luna down. Luna did a commendable job, even to the point where Brawn and Holly toasted to Luna's eventual success. But the toast was early, and Jan settled down to regain a better frame of mind. In doing so, Jan could fight back properly and show the skills that Holly had for so long suppressed. Holly wasn't happy as Jan started to turn every attack against the New TMK and she certainly wasn't happy when Jan had so much momentum that with a boot to the stomach, Jan had Luna setup for the Whippersnapper. Before Jan could finish off the three count, Holly and Brawn stormed out of the suite. Jan somehow knew this, making her victory all the sweeter.]

RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this match by pinfall... JAN DELGADO!!!

Skullhead: Extremely solid win for Jan Delgado here.

Pinhead: And very satisfying I'm sure for Jan since Holly's plan has blown up in her face.

Skullhead: But Holly isn't the type to not have a backup of some sort. This IS a gauntlet after all.

Pinhead: And Jan is going to work her tail off to get through it. I don't think anything is more important to her right now than getting at Holly Hotbody.

Slush: She shouldn't have turned traitor then. It's all her fault.

Pinhead: You keep tell yourself that.

Slush: I tell myself lots of things.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: What do you mean it freaks you out?

[Fade into a recording studio... we should know by now which MBC personality would be in such a place.

Of course, it would be "The American Idol" Amber Rogers. She is dressed in a pair of white pants and a red halter top, guitar in her lap, big smile on her face as always.]

AR: HI! When the MBC comes to Detroit Rock City, I'm going to be there to lead my team to victory in our first Psycho Driver defense! Isn't that cool?

[The big smile hasn't gone away yet.]

AR: I mean, to think how exciting it will be for the people of the Motor City to see _me_ in action... more excitement than they could ever get from the buffalo wings on ice!

[Evidently, she's referring to the Red Wings.]

AR: I fully expect it to be a sellout, especially since they made _my_ team the featured attraction. I mean... the main event... does that rock or what?

[Then something makes her big smile disappear.]

AR: Of course, I have to wonder if Louie Love and her big sister are going to try to spoil things... and no way will I accept that when it comes to being the featured attraction!

[A sigh.]

AR: But, what can I say... jealousy does bad things to people.

[A nod.]

AR: I'll say this, though... I know I'm going to do whatever it takes to lead my team to victory in Detroit. They may have put four others up against us, and I hear they are billing this as one where they wonder how long which team can work together.

[And the big smile returns.]

AR: Well, I can assure you I won't have that problem... all I want is for _my_ team to be the best it can be! If the others want to concern themselves more with who their partner is than about becoming Psycho Driver champions, that's their problem. But I can assure my partner that I will _never_ let her down!

[Another nod.]

AR: And most of all, I can definitely assure my fans that I will _never_ let them down! I can't afford to disappoint my fans!

[She then blows a kiss to the camera.]

AR: I truly love you all!

[Fade out.]

Pinhead: I'm still boggled by the idea of her having fans.

[Pinhead and Skullhead look over at Slush who is air guitaring to one of Amber's songs.]

Pinhead: I suppose you just have to know you're core audience.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Pinhead: I'll take that as you saying that this is a very sad thing that Slush is doing right now.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Pinhead: I don't understand you.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Pinhead: Okay, let's make this simple. One MEEP for yes, two MEEPS for no. Do you understand?

Tinkle: MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

Pinhead: [MEEP]ing hamster.

[The male brain is a strange organ. So complex, yet also so simple, so fragile, yet capable of withstanding incredible amounts of stress. And stress is one thing Kyle Lee's brain is used to handling. It has to, otherwise Vengeance would run wild. Or at least, wilder. Kyle Lee is a man with a whole lot of things on his plate, and his brain, thoughtfully protected by a cranium, must process it all.

That is what the Doomsayer's male brain is doing as we come upon him. Suddenly, said brain's processes are momentarily interrupted as a soft knock raps the nearby door.]

KL: Are you Vengeance?

Off-screen voice: N-n. N-n-n... N-n-no.

KL: Come in, then.

[From the door emerges an odd couple. A pudgy, bald man in his fifties, more than a foot shorter than the girlfriend he accompanies, the "Viking Vixen" Eveline Eriksen. The light fabric of her pure white summer dress gently floats around her long legs as she confidently sashays towards Lee, a smile donning her strikingly beautiful Scandinavian face. Long, naturally platinum blond hair frames her visage, and cascades over her strong shoulders and into a deep, plunging cleavage. Most of the MBC's male audience is already drooling at the sight of the two generously bouncing mounds. While seconds ago, the typical male brain was cogitating over the latest happenings in the MBC, now, it is only repeating "boobies" over and over.

Lee, dressed for his match later tonight, stands and walks to greet the two newcomers.]

KL: Eveline Eriksen. You've finally made it to the MBC.

EE: Mister Kyle Lee. You're even more handsome that they said you'd be.

[As Lee extends his hand for a handshake, she leans forward, amplifying the amount of cleavage her white dress reveals, and kisses him on the left cheek. As she leans to kiss the Doomsayer's right cheek, lingering with promises of sweeter treats, her breasts softly press on his chest for a short but memorable moment.]

EE: I had always dreamed of joining NBC, Mister Lee.

KL: It's MBC.

EE: Yes, that's right.

[Next to her, Bill "the Wallet" Houlder twitches and fidgets before extending his own trembling hand.]

WH: And-and I'm William Houlder, Eveh-Eveline's manager.

[Lee indulges him with a curt handshake.]

EE: Yes, that's nice, Will. I think a woman named Carlisle wanted to see you about my debut match, William. Why don't you go talk to her and see who my poor, poor opponent will be?

WH: Oh, uh, yes. Yes I... I suppose I should do that.

KL: A pleasure to meet you in person, Mr. Houlder.

WH: Lie-lie-likewise, Mr. Lee.

[The fifty something manager waddles out the door, and the camera pans back to Kyle Lee and Eveline Eriksen. Looking back at her sugar daddy, the Viking Vixen shudders in disgust, the tremors subtly shaking her breasts.

The male brain is a strange organ, capable of truly astounding feats. But if Superman has kryptonite, as Slush so recently discovered, the male brain has its soft, pillowy sweater kittens.

Mmm... Sweet sweater kittens...]

EE: Mister Lee, you must be very proud to add a woman such as I to your league. I bet the MBC has been starved for actual talent and beauty for a very long time.

[As a hand playfully toys with her hair, Eveline lets her other hand gently graze the cleft of her snuggle puppies.

Rrhaaaah... heavenly snuggle pups...]


EE: I think we can form a mutual partnership, help each other.

[Mmm... Chesticles...]

EE: You know, after a day of long, hard work, everyone needs someone they can relax with, and release all of the stress.

[Boobies... I mean, uh. Kyle looks at her like two, round, squeezable - no wait. He looks...

Ah, MEEP it.

Boobies...]

KL: I'm not sure that would be-

EE: Shhh... I can tell you have a stressful job, your shoulders are so tense...

[Her hands caress his... ah... His shoulders, I think. Need to work on that peripheral vision, that way, I can notice these things while I stare at her fun bags... Mhmmm...]

EE: Everyone knows my hands can destroy silly little girls, but very few men know just how well they can knead knotted muscles and massage a man's worries away...

[Chichis...]

EE: Maybe that's the kind of thing you could be able to discover, Mister Lee...

[...Ta-tas...]

KL: Aren't you...

EE: That's the kind of secret my manager would never know about, because I never mix business with pleasure.

[Tee-tees...]

EE: But looking at you, I can tell you're different. Maybe I could make some exceptions for you, Mister Lee.

[Mamma-jammas...]

TSJ: What's going on here?

[Hmm? What?

Oh, yes.

I mean no! Nothing's going on.

Talking about the male brain.

Strange organ. Important stuff.

Now go away, Tesla. Shoo!]

KL: Oh, it's the usual Tes.

TSJ: The new girl making the moves on you?

[Of course not, that would be inappropriate. Besides, we're too sophisticated and pragmatic to fall prey to petty flirtations.

Now that the male brain has snapped back into some semblance of reality, we see a very upset Tesla St. James, fresh off her confrontation with Erik Grimsson, stepping into Lee's office. Lee treats all this as business as usual and sits back in his chair.

The Viking suspiciously watches Tesla the way a lioness protectively guards her fresh antelope carcass. Tesla walks up to Eveline and looks about ready to pounce.]

KL: While I appreciate your... "enthusiasm" Ms. Eriksen. I can assure you that no special exceptions will have to be made. You'll be on an equal playing field with all the other women of the MBC. You'll have to utilize talent... wrestling talent to get ahead.

[Tesla looks up to the taller Eriksen and well... they're so close... the male brain starts thinking about other things. Fanfic ideas start to burgeon.]

KL: Now, it would seem that you've garnered the interest of the MBC's H.R. Department.

EE: Human Resources?

KL: Hysterical Redhead.

[The Vixen's eyes narrow, and she juts her finely sculpted jaw even closer to Tesla's face, which is as equally adorable as it is irate. Her sensuous lips form a snarl... shapely bodies... lush hair, blond and ginger... shapely legs gently guiding the eye towards round buttocks... and four firm breastesses, begging to be-

MALE ORGAN!

I mean strange brain!

No, wait... The male brain is a strange organ.

Right.

Ah, MEEP that.

LOOK!

Over there!

IT'S TINKLE!]

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: NO WAIT! GO BACK!

Pinhead: Sorry, the feed cut off.

Slush: SOMEBODY GET ME THE TAPE OF THAT!

Pinhead: I suppose when you're talking about the "male brain", you can look at Slush and see an example of... oh, what’s the word I'm looking for?

Skullhead: Missing Link?

Pinhead: There you go.

Slush: I WANT TO SEE MORE!

Skullhead: As do many people. Alas, the MBC hierarchy has to go through so much sexual harassment training it's not even funny.

Pinhead: And somehow a redhead always gets involved.

Skullhead: Looks like Eveline Eriksen crossed paths with Tesla St. James at the worst of times too. She still seems to be fuming about her fallout with Erik Grimsson.

Slush: WHY IN THIS DIGITAL AGE CAN I NOT GET SATISFACTION!?!?!?

Pinhead: <Shiver>
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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[There is a poetry to watching Dalbello Rage in the ring. As she rolls and tumbles, she moves fluidly. Her muscles tense and explode in precise bursts. Her practice partners have little chance. A punch thrown an inch too far is snatched by the wrist and turned into a deep armdrag. An errant kick is brought over into a legwhip. A bullrush is converted into a drop toe hold. Retreat and the poor wrestler falls victim to a double leg takedown. And once the poor sparring partner is on the mat, they are twisted and wrenched into shapes the body is not meant to be positioned. And finally, just as her partners are set to scream out or tap out and quit, her hand hand extends and is met with a meaty slap as her tag-team partner is allowed to come get a piece of the action.

This the Dalbello Rage of lore. The Misfit. A champion thirty-five times over, a warrior, the mortal definition of perfection. As she swings thorugh the middle ropes she drops to the floor and snatches up a towel to mop at her sweat-soaked body. She takes up a water bottle and downs two swigs before she pours some out over her braided hair, rinsing the sweat from her forehead and scalp. She takes her time, considering something before she contemplates the MBC cameras.]

DR: (exhaling) Mighty Bastards ... the promoters are mighty bastards all right. They've set me at a conflict. They have challenged my love of gold with my utter and absolute hatred of the Mockingbird Nina Grimmson. Let me explain it simply, I love gold more than I hate Nina. I hope she has the same maturity. The whole reason that I wrestle is to win championships and if I have to drag Nina up to respectability to be able to wear an MBC championship then so be it I shall.

[She rolls her neck, stretching her trapezius muscles.]

DR: Nina, I know we've danced a number of times. I know you've danced with Sierra and Marissa and everybody in my family. I know that you like to think that you're some kind of monster under the bed. I know that you like to believe that you are stronger and tougher than everybody else. I get it that you're from Detroit and maybe that's part of your persona over there, but I don't care if you come from one of the murder capitals of America, you don't scare me. You don't impress me. I don't believe in you. I just see an anorexic Goth chick starving for a little attention. You are not a professional wrestler. Not like \I am. But you are going to start to learn. See, I'm willing to put my personal feelings aside for the greater good. You are my teammate. And I respect that and look forward to everything that you will bring to the table even though I know that it is not much. But my name means something. I think about it every time I step into that ring. I think about my father and the sacrifices he made and the legacy he left behind. Do you ever think about what it means to be a Grimmson? Do you ever think about what you will be leaving behind when you pass out of this industry. I hope you do because in the long run you'll realize that this quest of yours to be a monster is ridiculous and won't leave any more impression on anybody than a soap bubble popping. I'm on a quest for significance, lady. And I will not be stopped even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming along with me. In the ring you do your part and I'll do mine. When we're the tag-team champions then we can worry about tearing each other's heads off but not a moment before.

[Fade out]

Slush: Ah, I needed that.

Pinhead: Ewww.

Skullhead: There you have, ladies and gentlemen, Dalbello Rage. She's is of course participating in tonight's main event.

Pinhead: And may be in the minority as far as working with her team mates. Her and Amber Rogers.

Skullhead: Rage claims that she can get along with Nina Grimsson. But that may not be the case the other way around. Nina is no fan of Dalbello and I'd bet you good money that Nina is far more likely to attack her tag partner on the way to the ring than she is to willingly work with Rage.

Pinhead: I really can't take that bet because I know what the odds are of that happening.

Skullhead: Granted, if Grimsson and Rage could possibly work together? That'd be a hell of a team. They're two of the best women wrestlers in the MBC.

Pinhead: And speaking of women wrestlers...

Skullhead: Ah yes. We've got this controversial footage to show.

Pinhead: Taylor was robbed!

Skullhead: For those of you who are unaware, the annual Angels and Amazons super card went down recently. And for the second year in a row, the MBC featured a title match.

Pinhead: Pitting Taylor MacKenzie against Brianna Landis.

Skullhead: The results were... unexpected. Thanks to the fine folks at Angels and Amazons, we can show what happened in it's entirety.

[Fade to a completely different arena. At the bottom, text reads "April 18th, 2009". It's our same commentary team, just versions of them from the past. Bah! More of this time travel stuff! Call my John Conner and shoot me in the head already!]

Skullhead: Hello everybody. It's good to be back at Angels and Amazons, an event that is quickly becoming one of my favorites every year.

[At right is a well dressed man, handsome and built like a former wrestler.]

Skullhead: I'm Robert Harrison-Skoehl, known in the MBC and throughout my wrestling career as Skullhead.

[In the center is a slender man, bald but distinguished.]

Pinhead: And I'm Ian McAllister, also known as Pinhead.

[And at left... sigh...]

Slush: Why do I need to introduce myself? That’s what I have you two morons for.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: You can introduce yourself fur ball.

Skullhead: We represent the Mighty Bastard Championship and the feature match we're presenting should prove to be very interesting. Taylor MacKenzie defends the Grandmaster Typo Championship against Brianna Landis.

Slush: My woman will end the Landis bloodline once and for all!

Pinhead: Two things. One, Taylor is not your woman and two, even in the event of accidental death, there are more Landis family members elsewhere.

Slush: It's God's cruel joke.

Skullhead: Now to give you a little history, the MBC's Grandmaster Typo Championship has a legacy that dates back to 1996. It has been held by both men and women and has been defended in federations outside of the MBC.

Pinhead: None of which really lasted long but that’s not the point.

Skullhead: And a few years ago the title was merged with the UWF/MBC Joint Light Heavyweight Championship which had a unique history all in itself. So this is quite the prize that Taylor and Brianna are fighting for.

Slush: They should be fighting for my love!

Tinkle: MEEP!

Pinhead: The match itself carries the "Blind" Stipulation, another MBC creation.

Skullhead: Or rather, the creation of Simon O'Neal. If you don't know who that is, maybe you should consider yourself lucky. Essentially, one of the wrestlers doesn't know how to win the match. Could be by pinfall only or submission or countout. Only the referee and in some instances the other wrestler involved in the match knows the stipulation.

Pinhead: It tends to be extremely one sided and extremely sadistic most times.

Skullhead: Usually these matches come about when there's just enough going on to piss somebody off enough to get them to accept the challenge. And that is exactly what Brianna Landis has done to Taylor MacKenzie. Landis has hounded Taylor and hit on Taylor's boyfriend among many other things. And it angered Taylor enough for MacKenzie to accept the challenge of this match.

Slush: My Taylor will overcome! Call her Taylor MacGuyver!

__ ______ ____________________________________________
/ |/ / _ )/ ___/ BLIND STIPULATION MATCH FOR THE
/ /|_/ / _ / /__ GRANDMASTER TYPO CHAMPIONSHIP
/_/ /_/____/\___/
} TAYLOR MACKENZIE © vs. BRIANNA LANDIS
|
|_______________________________________Writer: Kyle B. Lee


["Voodoo Baby" by Hypnogaja was the first song to play over the PA system for the contest and it immediately triggered a flurry of boo's and chants of "LAN-DIS SUCKS!" None of this seemed to matter to Brianna Landis, who sauntered her way to the ring with a confident smile and cocky eyebrow raised.]

Crowd: LAN-DIS SUCKS! LAN-DIS SUCKS!

LAN-DIS SUCKS! LAN-DIS SUCKS!

LAN-DIS SUCKS! LAN-DIS SUCKS!

Slush: Finally! The world sees the Landi for what they are.

Pinhead: They're referencing Brianna, not the Landis family as a whole

Slush: Sure, that’s what it looks like on the outside. But there is a hidden meaning here.

Pinhead: Which is?

Slush: That if you're a Landis, you are to be hated.

["Force Ten" by Rush soon blasted over the PA system, replacing Landis' entrance music. Also replaced were the boo's as Taylor Mackenzie made her appearance. The crowd reacted quite favorably to her and the reigning champion walked down the aisle slapping hands and greeting fans. Once in the ring, she shot Brianna a dirty look, shot Slush a death glare strong enough to stop a rampaging elephant and handed the Grandmaster Typo title belt to the referee. The official went over the general rules of a Blind Stipulation match, which only made Brianna smile.]

Skullhead: Taylor is at a huge disadvantage here. Brianna knows what the stipulation is and knows exactly how to win.

Pinhead: So if this match takes a while then we know that this match was meant primarily to mess with Taylor's mind.

Skullhead: I think that's the point to the whole situation. It's just another mind game in a long line of mind games.

Slush: My Taylor will overcome!

Pinhead: She will. Quite like how she got a restraining order to overcome you.

Slush: I WILL OVERCOME!

[The match began with the two ladies circling up. Taylor looked to be the aggressor but immediately backed off. Taylor knew full well the match could be lost on something like throwing a punch or the wrong kind of take down. In the history of the Blind Stip, there were matches that ended on such things. So again, with her wicked grin, Brianna played a mind game. Finally, Brianna became aggressive and locked up with Taylor. The next few moments of the match involved exchanges and takedowns. Everything was strictly technical in nature. But Brianna became more and more of a rash. She'd do her best to press Taylor's buttons to incur her anger. Eventually, Taylor’s temper gave way. Just as Taylor was about to level Brianna with a mighty punch, Landis stuck out her chin, daring Taylor to deck her. But MacKenzie again held back. The match could just as easily end on a punch. In the history of the Blind Stipulation, there had in fact been a "No Brawling" rule. Taylor again wisely held back. However, it was only another mind game from Brianna who took that moment of hesitation to take her opponent to the mat with a haymaker.]

Pinhead: Looks like brawling is a safe avenue to take here.

Skullhead: Brianna is really enjoying this. She should be careful though. Once she gives away to many secrets, Taylor will have what she needs to put together and appropriate offense.

Slush: Taylor will dominate like the mighty Hun! She's intro control... yeah... that's the stuff.... oh yeah...

Pinhead: ...

Skullhead: ...

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: What?

[With brawling back on the table, Taylor came at Brianna hard and fast. Brianna held her own of course but with the match open to both brawling and technical wrestling, Taylor felt that she could unleash her full arsenal. Momentum shifted constantly as Brianna would occasionally use another mind game. But they were less and less effective as more layers were pulled back.]

Pinhead: Looks like Brianna is running out of things to toy around with Taylor on.

Skullhead: But could the damage already be done? Brianna has been in control of the pacing of the match and Taylor has had to start and stop constantly. Taylor has great stamina but too much strain is gong to wear down anybody.

Slush: Let me tell you something about Taylor's stamina...

Pinhead: No, you won't. And you can't. You have absolutely no experience to base any conclusion on.

Slush: But I have my fantasies. And that is all I need.

Pinhead: Then go away and leave us alone.

Slush: My spite for you fuels me. Like a drug. A sweet, sweet drug.

[Things eventually went to the outside when Brianna needed a breather. Taylor followed quickly. But as MacKenzie pursued, Brianna grabbed a chair in full view of the referee and prepared to use it. Seeing this, Taylor grabbed a chair of her own, thinking it was legal. Taylor was ready to use the chair to its full brutal potential but she saw that Brianna was holding back on her swing. Disqualification was still in effect and Taylor wasn't about to fall for that one. Chairs were dropped and the two started brawling again. Also in effect were countouts. And by this point, the referee was up to a count of seven.]

Skullhead: Both women back in the ring before the count of ten.

Pinhead: Taylor nearly got herself disqualified. Clever trick by Brianna but it didn't quite work.

Skullhead: Something is odd about that though. Brianna would have won the match but she wouldn't have won the title.

Pinhead: Unless the Blind Stipulation deals with how the title changes hands.

Skullhead: Seems logical.

Slush: Well grow yourself some pointy ears and call yourself Leonard.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: I don't think there are any green haired Orion slave hamsters.

[The very basics of the match were now established and in such, the match continued to take on a standard path. Taylor came at Brianna hard while Brianna constantly tried to aggravate Taylor enough to make a mistake. The plan didn’t work at first but as the match continued on, the time between missteps shrunk. It was all a matter of Brianna using it to her advantage. And fatefully, Brianna worked up Taylor's anger so much that MacKenzie blindly charged across the ring to attempt a spear.]

Slush: Such grace she has! Like a sexy sexy pissed off rhino!

Pinhead: Brianna stands ready and... DROP TOE HOLD!

Skullhead: And Taylor goes face first into the middle turnbuckle!

Slush: NOOOOO!

Pinhead: Did you see how hard Taylor's neck snapped back?

Skullhead: That is never a good thing to see.

[Taylor stirred, much to the relief of those in attendance but that didn't mean she wasn't hurting. Brianna remained opportunistic as was her nature and reputation. She pulled the ailing MacKenzie to her feet and struck at her neck and face. The referee stepped in to warn her about a possible disqualification. It garnered a roll of the eyes but backed Landis away. After a moment, Brianna came back in and drove boot after boot into Taylor's breadbasket.]

Pinhead: Looks like Brianna is finally going in for the kill.

Skullhead: She has brought Taylor out to near the middle of the ring and she's hooking the arm!

Slush: Say it isn't so! Say it isn't so!

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: LIES!

[Her opponent prone, Brianna lifted Taylor into the air as if to hit the vertical suplex. But this was no vertical suplex. Brianna fell backward to the ropes, resulting in Taylor slingshotting off those ropes and back forward. This would be a Fantasy Bomb if Brianna continued on to turn that setup into a sitout powerbomb. However, this was a big "IF". After the slingshot, Taylor struggled, forcing Brianna to bring her opponent back down for both their own good. Taylor landed on her feet, broke free and grabbed Brianna by the head. She placed her head under Landis' chin and dropped down with a violent jawbreaker. Brianna sprawled and though fatigued...]

Skullhead: Taylor hits the Basic Instinct!

Slush: YES! BLOW UP HER IMPLANTS!

Pinhead: Taylor has a cover... and the ref is making that count! Pinfalls will do it!

Skullhead: That's unusual for a Blind Stipulation Match though...

Pinhead: One...







Two...





Three! The match is over!

RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this match and STIIIIL MBC Grandmaster Typo Champion... TAYLOR MACKENZIE!!!

Skullhead: So what the hell was the blind stip?

Pinhead: I couldn't tell you.

[Taylor rolls off of Brianna and pushes herself to her feet. The referee raises her arm as the victor and rewards her the Grandmaster Typo Championship. Satisfied with the hard fought victory, Taylor looks at Brianna one last time. However...

Brianna was still smiling.]

Skullhead: Brianna rolls out of the ring and the ref is following. Where is he going?

[The referee walks to the time keeper's table and whispers something to the ring announcer. The official then reaches behind the table and pulls out a cloth bag. He undoes the string and pulls out...]

Skullhead: Wait... is that the UWF/MBC Joint Light Heavyweight Title?

Pinhead; Hot damn I think it is... and he's giving it to Brianna!

RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of the blind stipulation, the NEEEEEEW UWF/MBC JOINT LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION..."EVERYMAN'S FANTASY" BRIANNA LANDIS!!!

Pinhead: What the hell is going on?

Skullhead: I'm getting the stipulation now... unbelievable.

Slush: Taylor was robbed!

Skullhead: The winner of the match would receive the Grandmaster Typo and the loser would receive the Joint belt. Essentially, this was a win win for Brianna Landis.

Pinhead: And no matter what, she'd end up taking something away from Taylor.

Slush: You can never trust a Landis! They're a family of cutthroats and thieves!

Pinhead: And now Brianna is walking out of this match as a champion. I don't think Taylor knows what to think.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: That's right. She can come sit on my lap and I'll make her feel better.

Pinhead: Only if you're tied to the chair and she can pound you into a bloody mash.

Slush: Whatever works for her, works for me.

Skullhead: That's all the time we have here ladies and gentlemen. Be rest assured though, this is an issue that will be addressed in the time to come. Good night folks and enjoy the rest of the show.

[Fade back to present time but instead of the arena, we cut to an extreme closeup of a glittering golden belt, the letters UWF and MBC entwined on the front of a globe. The camera slowly pulls out to reveal the entire face of the Joint Light Heavyweight Title, and from there a few wisps of blonde hair are soon revealed to be attached to the head of "Every Man's Fantasy" Brianna Landis.]

BL: Every time you think you have a grasp of the situation Taylor, you're proven wrong and mocked repeatedly for it. Have a good night at Angels and Amazons? I imagine not, since once again yours truly managed to show you up.

[Brianna slings the belt over her shoulder, grinning at the camera.]

BL: I heard your comment after the match, that I won this by losing. Not quite, chicky. I won this by taking an insurance policy out. No matter how our match ended up, your fantasy would be shattered and I'd walk out with a shiny new bauble. And in case you were wondering, you didn't get me at my absolute best that night. The Amazon Rumble split my focus, and you should just be happy it wasn't the GMT strap I took off of you.

[Pause.]

BL: Yet. That's still coming, make no mistake about that. But there's time for that later.

No, tonight there's more important matters to discuss. Namely, just what on earth I was doing on this show last week interrupting the match between the Cordovas and the Loves!?! Well, it goes like this...

[Another pause.]

BL: Ami Tran is a fine competitor. And recently she managed to go on a diet and lose about six hundred pounds of stupid in her efforts to claim the women's championship here in MBC. I can applaud that, and as someone who knows just how little importance a family can hold in this business I feel for her.

So what better way to reveal our newfound respect for one another than to go after the sappiest, most disgusting family unit in this company than Leanna and Lolita Love? In another ten years they're going to be living in the same house and will be referred to by neighborhood children as 'the witches at the end of the block'. They've even got the first cat already. Don't go looking for more meaning into that however, ladies. You were a means to an end for Ami and myself, just a statement to be made.

Ami and I have come together for one single, unifying purpose. The black sheep aren't going to be held back anymore, the family members you didn't want to talk about are putting themselves first.

The Rogues Gallery is here. No family? No respect? No problem.

[Fade.]

Slush: Robbed! BY A DAMN LANDIS!

Skullhead: Now, you may be wondering why we didn't show that earlier. When I said controversial, I meant it. MBC lawyers have been looking into the legality of the blind stipulation that allowed Brianna Landis to take the UWF/MBC Joint Light Heavyweight Championship.

Pinhead: And recently it was ruled that the blind stipulation was rock solid. It was also ruled that the Joint belt was never actually retired. It was just put together as a part of the Grandmaster Typo Championship. So, Brianna Landis legally "won" the Joint Belt from Taylor MacKenzie.

Slush: Always leave it to a Landis to take a bit of your soul and make you throw up a little bit in your mouth.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Yes, I realize that's normal for you. Leave me alone. I'm in mourning for my poor sweet Taylor.

Pinhead: You shouldn't feel too bad. She's still the Grandmaster Typo Champion.

Skullhead: Of course, there are two looming title matches with Ryu Osawa and Max Benson.

Pinhead: They've got to work that out on their own.

Skullhead: Now... I'm being told, we have some other... "controversial" footage to show.

Pinhead: Great. We're turning into the Jerry Springer show.

Slush: Sweet! Bring on the strippers sleeping with their lesbian alien's transvestite brother!

Tinkle: MEEP!

[Camera fade to a dingy, narrow staircase, lit only by a single bare bulb. Kiora Donavon's there, wearing blue jeans and her standard Hand of Doom t-shirt, slowly making her way down the stairs, talking on the phone.]

Kiora: Yeah I found the place, I'm just about to head inside.

[Pausing, Kiora listens to instructions from the person on the other side of the phone. Occasionally she nods, apparently receiving instructions from the person she's speaking with.]

Kiora: Understood, I'll have my first report on their progress to you by the end of the week Crimson. Count on it.

[Another reply from Crimson. Kiora listens then a vicious smile spreads over her face.]

Kiora: Oh don't worry, I'll make certain the Brotherhood won't be giving me any static at all. Anyway I heard they're holding an audition as we speak, I was just heading in to see what they're up to. Oh and I've told my brothers to be more careful about pulling fire alarms in the future, Liam and Cormac have assured me they'll be more careful with their pranks in the future.

[Kiora hangs up the phone and opens the rusty metal door at the bottom of the stairs. Opening the door is like turning off the mute button: a wall of sound hits her, with what sounds like twenty people chanting, cheering, laughing, and making bets.

The camera follows Kiora into the room and we see what's causing the ruckus: a loose circle of the prelim wrestlers who now call themselves the Brotherhood of Bastards, HOD Hitmen-in-training, surrounds Gary Kobo III and Canadian Bacon as both men duke it out in brutal hardcore fashion. "Doomsday" Harley Sanders, dressed in zebra-print track pants and nothing else, appears to be acting as referee... although all he seems to be doing is cheering the two on.]

Kiora: Mindless violence, I approve.

[Casually walking into the circle, Kiora watches with interest as Kobo and Bacon pummel each other mercilessly. The Brotherhood of Bastards hasn't noticed her yet, being far to focused upon the brawl in front of them, which is hardly surprising as both men have started to bleed, Bacon's nose is bloody and Kobo has a cut above his right eyebrow.]

Kiora: Step it up you two! You'll have to do better then that if you want to be hitmen for the Hand of Doom!

[As Kiora's voice rings out, several of the prelim wrestlers turn to look at Kiora including Harley Sanders himself. He gives Kiora a quizzical look but she's not about to act apologetic over her interruption.]

Kiora: Crimson sent me down here to see how things are going with you bastards. I'm here to turn you bums into a pack of maniacs the Hand of Doom can be proud of! Those of you who are successful will be rewarded accordingly, those among you who fail will suffer the worst punishment I can think up at the time.

[Kiora grins wickedly, causing more then one of the assembled prelims to gulp nervously. Naturally this makes Kiora happy. She expresses this happiness by glaring at Kobo and Bacon venomously.]

Kiora: You two better not be slowing down! You don't want to be my first object lesson!

Kobo sucker punches the still-distracted Bacon, and the two of them start in it again. Sanders pushes his way through the crowd while they resume cheering on the two prelims. Sanders is smiling, but it's clear he's faking it a little.]

Sanders: Hey lady, what's up! It's [MEEP]ing extreme to see you here! I'm sure the, uh, big guy wants to know what we're up to. Let me show you.

[Sanders shouts over his shoulder.]

Sanders: Go for the KNEES, Kobo, the KNEES!

[Sanders puts his hand on Kiora's shoulder to guide her to one corner of the basement, where stands a dry-erase board with what look like playoff brackets marked up. The jobbers' names have been paired up, and it looks like a lot of them have already been eliminated: DJ Pez took out Oppie Tyler, Rodrigo "Stud Monkey" Tupa beat Lady Holina, "Armageddon" Georgia Church defeated Bubba Tyler, and Dead Boy took out Todd "Rat Catcher" Simms.]

Sanders: So like we've already had a few rounds here, as you can see. It looks like Kobo's going to take out Canadian Bacon, then all that's left is Suprema's gotta fight this new guy we got, the Angry Panda.

[Kiora looks over the brackets with interest, though she's clearly a little upset at having missed the earlier rounds. Still she has a job to do here and she's not going to let a little annoyance get in the way, not when there's clearly a number of worthy candidates to take that annoyance out upon.]

Kiora: The losers will have to be punished, they'll be our first object lessons. Also, I'll want to be present for every Brotherhood of Bastards fights from now on. I have to see all the fights if I'm going to properly report on your progress to Crimson.

[Glancing over her shoulder at the fight in the ring, Kiora smiles in approval as she sees Kobo viciously stomping Canadian Bacon's knee.]

Kiora: Give him a few shots to the groin! Show me you're a vicious bastard who -deserves- to be associated with the Hand of Doom!

[Obediently Kobo begins brutally kicking Bacon in the groin, much to the approval of the fellow prelims present. Nodding in satisfaction, Kiora brings her attention back to Sanders.]

Kiora: Do you have any film on the previous rounds? Also, I think today's object lesson for the losers will be facing me in the ring.
Now, what do you know about this Angry Panda?

Sanders: Uhhh... sure, all those things work! Yeah I took some video with my DewPhone to put on my Facebook page later, I can show you those.

[Sanders smiles again, trying to be cocky, but clearly faltering. He glances at the others to make sure they're not seeing him like this -- they aren't -- and returns his attention to Kiora.]

Sanders: We'll let you pound on Bacon some after this is up. I don't know what got into him, but Kobo's gotten all wild -- he's like the Extreme Doctor now. Oh wait, hold up...

[Sanders leads them back to the circle as Canadian Bacon finally taps out, and a bloodied and vindicated Kobo throws his fists up to a roar of approval. To one side, someone in a full-body panda mascot suit cheers him on.]

Sanders: Oh yeah. That's Angry Panda. I dunno what his deal is. Anyway.

[Kobo walks out of the circle and Bacon starts to rise.]

Sanders: Naw man, you ain't done yet. Uh, Miss Donavon? You want to take over from here?

[The gathered crowd falls mostly quiet, and though Bacon tries to find a way out of the circle, no one lets him through. They do however let Kiora through, an opportunity she uses for a running kick to his solar plexus, which drops him to the floor.]

Kiora: Hardly surprising that the buffoon introduced by Slush is our first object lesson.

[As Bacon tries to get to his feet, Kiora viciously kicks him in the rubs as she pulls a baton out of the pocket of her blue jeans. Sneering down at the Canadian she shows him the baton, laughing as his eyes go wide with terror.]

Kiora: You know, if you were someone else I might bash your head in with this but I don't think you're worth it.

[Grinning evilly as Bacon struggles, Kiora reaches down and pulls up the waistband on his undies. Rather then give him a garden variety wedgie however, she wraps the fabric around the baton and begins turning the baton which causes the fabric to twist. The end result of this is the undies tightening like a vice bringing tears to Bacon's eyes and causing him to whimper in pain.]

Kiora: My brother's call this the Twister Wedgie, nasty isn't it?

[Continuing to twist Canadian Bacon's trousers, Kiora begins dragging him along the floor toward the door. Sensing Kiora's intentions, "Armageddon" Georgia Church runs over to the door and pulls it open just in time for Kiora to toss him out the door.]

Kiora: Now that we've thrown out the trash, let's see what that Angry Panda can do!

[Sanders stands in stunned silence for a moment, clearly intimidated, but then rallies himself with a clearing of his throat and a hearty whoop.]

Sanders: EXTREME! Uh, ANGRY PANDA! SUPREMA! Your turn!

[The Angry Panda starts stomping around the circle like a sumo wrestler psyching himself up. Suprema steps out of the mix and into the circle as well, dressed simply in track pants and sports bra, hands and feet wrapped in tape.]

Suprema: That's Sabrina. Johanna Sabrina.

[Suprema--Sabrina--then gives Kiora a long, assessing look, before turning her attention to the Panda.]

Sabrina: Let's do this, you silly-ass bear.

[As Kiora joins the circle Suprema lunges at the Angry Panda, catching the bear themed wrestler off guard with a surprisingly vicious assault. Apparently she's taken Kiora's earlier words to heart. Kiora looks on approvingly as the prelims loudly cheer on the two fighters.]

Kiora: The bastard is strong in this one.

[As Kiora lays a bet on Suprema, the camera fades to black.]

Pinhead: Wait, so it was Kiora's brothers who pulled the fire alarms last show?

Skullhead: It seems that mystery is solved.

Slush: The bigger mystery is why the women are fighting with their tops on. I thought that was a rule of fight club! Kiora, Johanna and Angry Panda should be topless!

Pinhead: Angry Panda?

Slush: Don't ask.

Pinhead: I'll remember not to.

Skullhead: The situation with the preliminary wrestlers seems to be getting more strange by the day. We've got our original group fighting in basements and we're auditioning a new set. This little revolt got out of hand long ago.

Pinhead: It's the sort of thing that happens would you get an extra day off.

Skullhead: Which we all got yesterday because the Red Wings delayed our tapings by one day.

Pinhead: I'm assuming we're about to see what one of the MBC employees did on their day off?

Skullhead: You would assume correctly.

Slush: Making an ass out of you and me. Wait... how am I an ass?

Pinhead: How are you not?

Slush: Touché Ian. Touché.

[The scene fades into the insides of what looks to be an art gallery. Photo realistic paintings done in oils, acrylic and water colors of everything from people to cityscapes adorn the walls. The camera pans over to the entrance way. Text appears at the bottom reading "Tuesday Afternoon".

The door swings open with a faint jingle and in walks MBC President and Owner Kyle Lee, talking on a cell phone.]

KL: No, give the crew the rest of the day off. There isn't much to do until the hockey game is over. Listen I need to go. I wanted to look into something.

[Lee hangs up his phone and pockets it before taking a deep breath. He glances around to see where he wants to look first.]

"Hello, may I help you?"

[Lee glances in the direction of the voice. Standing there is a woman, dressed in a pair of black slacks and a navy blue blouse with blonde hair that is about shoulder length.]

KL: I'm just looking around for right now...

[Lee turns and stops mid sentence. What he sees is the face of someone he hasn't seen in several years. And that last moment of time wasn't on the best of terms.]

KL: Oh um.... Grace... fancy meeting you here.

[Awkward moment like you wouldn't believe. Sure enough, this would be former MBC competitor Amazing Grace staring back at Lee.]

AG: Kyle.

[The awkward moment continues before Grace breaks the silence.]

AG: So... what brings you here today?

KL: Well... the usual. MBC is in town. Red Wings got us kicked out of our scheduled booking. Got a day to kill. Thought I'd look around... yeah...

[Clearly this is not a comfortable situation.]

KL: I see that retirement has treated you well.

AG: Well, it wasn't the easiest decision... but the more I was away from the wrestling ring, the more I got the chance to pursue my love of art. And then, it so happened, the opportunity came along to open my own gallery.

[Another long pause.]

AG: Honestly, though, getting away from the wrestling ring may have done me good.

KL: Oh really?

[Suddenly, things aren't so awkward. Lee is definitely listening with interest now.]

AG: Yeah... getting the chance to pursue one of my passions has been pretty relaxing. And the more I've been involved with it, the more I've found that it's truly what I want to do with my life.

KL: I'm glad to hear that. Not many can walk away from the business and enjoy their lives.

AG: [nods] Although I still watch the shows from time to time... and from what I've seen, things have remained... how shall I say... par for the course in MBC.

KL: Things are about as far as off course as they can possibly be. But yes, that's the norm.

[Lee takes a moment to reflect. Or to scratch his chin. Either way.]

KL: I need to get going. But I tell you what.

[Lee reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card.]

KL: If you ever head back down to Dallas, if we're ever allowed back in of course, give me a call. There are some old faces that I'm sure would love to see you, even if it’s just for a visit.

[Grace pauses before taking the business card from Lee.]

AG: Well... thank you, Kyle. I appreciate that.

KL: Anytime. Take care of yourself.

[Lee flashes a smile before turning to head out the door. Fade.]

Slush: Weeeeeellll now... I bet you're happy to see that Pinhead.

Pinhead: I don't know what you're talking about.

Slush: Oh come on, everybody knows you had a thing for Amazing Grace.

Pinhead: Not ringing any bells.

Skullhead: Regardless of a crush, Amazing Grace was quite simply an amazing wrestler.

Pinhead: It's good to see her again.

Slush: I KNEW IT! YOU ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS! YOU'VE FALLEN TO THE DARKSIDE!

Pinhead: I already have a girlfriend.

Slush: Yeah, until I see the blowup doll, I don't believe it.

Pinhead: HEY!

Skullhead: Now, on the other side, this brings us to our next match. MBC Owner and President, "The Doomsayer" Kyle Lee is taking on John Vengeance in a match that is... ahem... "controversial".

Pinhead: A popular word tonight.

Slush: It's my middle name.

Pinhead: I thought it was Wayneright.

Slush: Translated from original pig latin.

Tinkle: EEP-MAY!

Skullhead: As you all may recall, Vengeance is the one who got the MBC kicked out of Dallas. And it seems like he's been the cause of many other bannings.

Pinhead: I still don't understand how he is still employed.

Skullhead: Kyle Lee has been trying to get an apology out of Vengeance for months now but its only lead to this match. Vengeance claims it’s so controversial that it was banned in Japan.

Pinhead: Do we know what it is yet?

Skullhead: Not yet.

Slush: I hope it's fun. I miss the fun.

______________________________________________________
/_ __/ __ )_ __/
/ / / __ |/ / JOHN VENGEANCE versus
/ / / /_/ // / "THE DOOMSAYER" KYLE LEE
/_/ /_____//_/
|___________________________Writer: James Hardi/Kyle Lee


["Bleed for Me" by the Black Label Society played and the crowd erupted. Through the entrance came "The Doomsayer" Kyle Lee ready for battle. At his side was "The Disgruntled Postal Worker" James Hardi. For old nostalgia's sake, DPW wore a "Masked Bastards OG" T-shirt. Both men slapped the hands of the fans as they came to the ring and once inside, they talked strategy while they waited for Vengeance.]

Pinhead: Any last minute guesses on what this match will be?

Slush: I bet you I'll twitter about it.

Pinhead: Wonderful.

[The two men waited for Vengeance. And well, they continued to wait as out through the entrance came the much hated "Happysayer" Brandon Elyson. Lee rolled his eyes as one of the biggest thorns in his side came down to the ring. Probably to give a special entrance for Vengeance.]

Happysayer: Why so glum chum? Get happy!

[The crowd boo's even louder. Lee can be seen mouthing "I hate you."]

Happysayer: I know you do. Which means we win.

[Fist pump!]

Happysayer: Now, to blow your mind with the most controversial match ever! EVER! This match has been banned all over Asia and most notably in Japan. Few Americans have ever heard of this match because other countries simply do not want the madness of this match to spread!

Slush: What the hell is this match?

Skullhead: I'm being told over my headset... it's....

[Pinhead and Slush look at Skullhead with rapt attention as Elyson points to the entrance.]

Happysayer: Please welcome the greatest hater of all time... VENGEANCE!

Skullhead: It was only controversial because of copyright laws?

["Antisaint" by Chevelle begins to play!]

Skullhead: This is a WHAT match?

Happysayer: Prepare to face the wrath of...


...


...



...THE HELLO KITTY DEATH MATCH!

[Vengeance comes out in what is best described as an oversized ‘Vengeanczied” Hello Kitty outfit. Complete with shoulder spikes, black and purple coloring, also holding a Hello Kitty chair. Roman candles start to shoot out of the spikes on the shoulders making this an even more bizarre scenario. A usual for Vengeance.]

Pinhead: He’s trying to burn down this arena down, too!

Slush: Very unoriginal, we’ve beat the ‘burning the arena down’ horse enough.

[Fortunately, the roman candles don’t burn the arena down. Unfortunately, Vengeance gets the mic.]

Vengeance: What the hell, Lee? Where’s your outfit?!

[Lee, with his best WTF look, throws his hands up.]

Vengeance: I sent you the packet describing the match!

KL: In case you didn't know Vengeance, the current company policy on any mail from you or the Industry of Hate is to dispose of it according to all laws and regulations associated with biohazard type materials.

Vengeance: That’s just great. Here we are, performing a match banned all over the world and only one of us is dressed!

JH: What is this match? You’re just in a goofy costume. How is this match banned in 26 countries or whatever. Copyright infringement?

Vengeance: Well, yea. We’ve already done all the hardcore rule breaking stuff. Now it’s time to move into some hardcore legal matches!

KL: By dressing up as "Hello Kitty?"

[http://www.sanrio.com/ for those of you who are unfamiliar.]

KL: Vengeance... this is stupid and pointless, even for you. I'm out. I'm not doing this.

Vengeance: Everyone heard it! He forfeited! I win! I win!

[Vengeance dances around.]

Vengeance: I know you’re scared, Lee. It’s ok. Everyone, except for me, will see you as a coward. But we’ll know the real truth. You, acknowledging my superiority-

JH: This from a man in an costume meant to appeal to girls age 5-15.

Vengeance: -my grandfather once told me, before he defected to Canada to join the resistance, “So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will fight without danger in battles. I understand why you forfeit.”

JH: He stole that from Sun Tzu!

KL: And I doubt that’s the only thing he stole. Listen, Vengeance...

[Vengeance continues to dance about in his celebration of forfeit.]

KL: For the love of God stop dancing!

Vengeance: Wait, I want the official announcement...

RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this match by forfeit... JOHN VENGEANCE!

Vengeance: Sweet!

KL: Listen tool! There's still something to settle. You got us kicked out of Dallas! And you've gotten us kicked out of a lot of other places. For whatever reason, all these people want an apology.

Vengeance: Who are you talking about "these people"? You’re still not making any sense. If you can give me something to apologize for I might give pause to think about the possibility of considering it. If you’re just going to waste my victory celebration you should get out of here!

KL: Let's make it simple for you Vengeance, with crayons and finger puppets. Dallas HATES you. Texas HATES you. Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arizona, New Mexico and more.. they all HATE you! The makers of the Boflex HATE you! Because you set fire to a tent and caused all kinds of damage. Because of you, people hating you and you being an all around tool, the MBC is hated.

Vengeance: Well, since you put it that way it makes a lot more sense. I didn’t really see it like the way you see it. I’m sorry. I should have paid more attention. I’m sorry I didn’t see what this is really about. You must want to join the Industry of HATE. You put a lot of capitalized HATEs back in that argument. I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention to your cries for help. Brandon! Get this guy a t-shirt!

Happysayer: Sorry JV, t-shirts on back order.

KL: I don't want a [MEEP]damned T-shirt. What I want is an apology from you, an apology that will let the MBC go home to Dallas where it belongs. And I'm more than ready to beat one out of you.

Vengeance: Why would I apologize to Dallas? What exactly am I directly responsible for? You keep repeating "You got us kicked out of Dallas, you burned down the arena, you shaved a V in the back of people's heads at the old folks home". All of those events were random occurrences I just happened to be around. None of it can be legally traced back to me! The bowflex thing was obviously a manufacturer’s defect. I don't understand why you're so upset.

[Hardi steps up and motions for Lee to follow him for a private conference.]

JH: This isn't working. We're going to have to do something drastic.

KL: Reverse psychology?

JH: Or offer him cookies. Either way.

[Lee returns to Vengeance, who somehow didn't hear a damn word of what was just said.]

KL: Fine. We'll take your T-shirt.

Vengeance: I'm glad you can see reason. There's no reason we-- Wait. Wait a damn second. I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON. You're trying to reverse psychology on me. I see through your clever ruse. But wait. I bet you knew that I'd know that you'd try to use reverse psychology on me. Or.. oh ha ha ha very clever. You've been doing reverse psychology on me from the start! LISTEN UP PEOPLE. I apologize for destroying your cities. All the cities we've hurt.. uhm. little help here?

Happysayer: Salt Lake City, Seattle, Omaha-

Vengeance: Recently.

Happysayer: Oh, sorry. Houston, San Antonio and pretty much the rest of Texas and Oklahoma.

Vengeance: Them, too. We're sorry. We won't let it happen (intentionally) again. [mumbling] Your move now, Lee. Your move.

KL: That’s the most half assed apology I've ever heard.

Vengeance: Wait? You were wanting something more? An apology with... with... what’s the word I'm looking for? Help me out here.

Happysayer: Sincerity.

Vengeance: Yes, sincerity. I get a rash every time I try and say that word.

Happysayer: I'll get the rash cream ready.

Vengeance: If you want a sincere apology I need some big incentive. I need to be back in the spotlight. You and me at SPLATTERNAD. In a match-

KL: That I decide!

Vengeance: Fine. FINE. You and your Communist Amish semantics. We will have a match. BUT...

KL: Oh God, what now?

Vengeance: Next show! Old fashioned contract signing!

KL: Fine. Whatever.

Vengeance: I claim victory for the Great Republic of Wyoming!

KL: Yeah, you do that.

[Lee and Hardi leave before Vengeance can add anything else.]
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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Skullhead: And it would now appear that we have our first official match signed for SplatterNad 2009! John Vengeance versus Kyle Lee.

Pinhead: We have a match, yet no venue.

Skullhead: We'll find one eventually.

Pinhead: Well, according to The Omen...

Slush: STOP! DON'T GO THERE!

Pinhead: Afraid of a little prophecy Slush? Afraid your son will be your downfall!

Slush: My son would never lay a finger on me!

Pinhead: What about a steel chair?

Slush: Quit perpetrating these lies! My son is good and wholesome! Don't ruin his street cred!

Pinhead: I think you're doing that well enough on your own.

Tinkle: MEEP!

[We fade to the interior of what was clearly, once, a beautiful theater suitable for both movies and live performances. To Detroit natives, it may be familiar as the United Artists Theater, a once-glorious building constructed in 1928 and eventually shut down in the '70s. Its classic design--tiered seating, boxes along the left and right walls, ornate wooden fixtures and hanging chandeliers--is covered in dust, cobwebs, and general decay. Once-brilliant golden curtains are now a faded, stale yellow. If it is anything, this theater is grandeur gone to rot.

On the half-collapsed stage stands Crimson, dressed in his black and red suit, hands folded behind his back... simply taking it all in. He is not triumphant or mournful, merely curious. Save for his breathing, all is silent.

That is, of course, until the clicking of heels echoes throughout the empty theater. In the distance, Kathryn Elyson appears and walks towards Crimson. She takes a moment to run her fingers through the dust that's collected on one of the fixtures.]

KE: For shame. The things that could be done here.

[Kathryn rubs her fingers together, ridding the tips of dust. She walks up the stairs leading to the stage.]

KE: I assume you're not looking into the purchase of property.

[Crimson shakes his head, still looking out at the empty rows instead of Kathryn.]

Crimson: No. Everything has to die eventually, and some things are more beautiful in their decay.

[Crimson smiles then, as a thought occurs to him. He finally looks at her.]

Crimson: And sometimes it's fun to hasten the destruction. Don't you think?

[Kathryn looks around at the debris, her hair making a light scrapping sound on her leather outfit.]

KE: I won't disagree. But what I enjoy most of all is drawing things out as long as possible. I do so love to savor my work.

[Crimson gestures out to the empty rows.]

Crimson: Time and pressure. Two elements that bring anything--anyone--down. But let's not be coy, Kathryn. You want me to nudge this along, don't you? This thing with Erik?

KE: I'm fine with you taking things at your own pace. In fact, I am quite pleased with your progress. It has some unanticipated side effects that are proving to be most interesting.

[She creaks in her leather as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other.]

KE: I'm told that Erik has had a rather nasty split with Tesla St. James because of the damage to his knee. While it may be no more than Erik giving himself a self inflicted wound, I can't help but feel that your call for an example accelerated things.

[Kathryn then cracks a grin from ear to ear, like a wicked cheshire cat.]

KE: St. James is loyal to a fault. If we can sever that tie, then the bond between Susan and Erik won't be difficult in the slightest.

Crimson: Something tells me you'd be better suited to that task... I'll keep it up on Erik. He makes for good sport and the men's division isn't offering much of a challenge anywhere else. My forecast...

[Crimson bobs his head a little, thinking.]

Crimson: He'll be a wreck by SplatterNad, and nonexistent by the end of the show.

[Crimson looks at her again, and chances another brief smile.]

Crimson: You make a good addition to the HOD, Kathryn. But I'm guessing you already thought so.

[Kathryn gives a slight, if not playful, bow.]

KE: I am pleased to hear it. And yes, I was quite confident that my kittens and I would fit well into the Hand.

[Crimson smirks, apparently amused.]

Crimson: All right, Kathryn. Off you go. I have a little more contemplation ahead of me here.

KE: [Nods] As you wish.

[With that Kathryn slips from the stage and into the darkness of the theater, and the camera fades out as it follows her.]

Skullhead: I've always found that when the MBC is at its most chaotic, the Hand of Doom seems to be in the middle of it, either directly causing trouble or behind the scenes orchestrating.

Pinhead: It certainly looks like Crimson has his hands in a lot of things. Like a puppeteer.

Skullhead: Crimson and Kathryn Elyson are proving to be a deadly combination. Unfortunately, it looks like Erik Grimsson is taking the brunt of it.

Pinhead: God help him.

Skullhead: And God help whoever else the Hand of Doom decides to go after.

Slush: All you have to do is put your faith in my son and his friends. All will be well.

Pinhead: What makes you say that?

Slush: Right now, they're outside doing good work.

Pinhead: Oh no. This can't be good.

Skullhead: Can we get a camera crew on this? I want evidence.

Slush: Of their good work?

Skullhead: Not exactly.

[Open to just inside the doors of the Joe Louis Arena. Specifically the Southeast arena doors near the party deck. There's a crowd of people gathered around the concession stands. And standing on a table at the center of everyone's attention happens to be Detroit's Bastard Sons, the cousins of Fury.

The former Team Bastard champs are both decked in Red Wings jerseys. Rage, Nicklas Lidstrom. Spice, Chris Osgood. The Lord of the Bling also sports a massive diamond-encrusted gold Red Wings logo chain and black jeans. Spice wears a white and red bandana and white wind pants.]

Spice: Reports of the demise of Detroit were greatly exaggerated. Sure, we're seein' some hard times. Sure, our families all feel the hurt. But the shoulders on which what's fallen on Detroit are the strongest the world has ever seen.

[Cheers from the gathered.]

Rage: We can handle the needless dissin' of our city. The taunts of us bein' a crime capital. Haters on the outside callin' our mayors corrupt. Why? Because we're tough. We're the toughest [MEEP] city in this entire country. We've seen worse and came through where other could never come back. We're not some soft-assed Hollywood cats from L.A. We're not some lazy laid-back people from Florida. WE are tough! WE are grinders! And grinders ALWAYS win!

[More cheers as the mob becomes more frenzied.]

Spice: Like our 11-time soon-to-be 12-time Stanley Cup Champion Red Wings, we take what we want at will. This is our show. This is your arena. Show this backward Texas company how we do in the D!

Rage: TAKE....WHAT'S....YOURS!!

[With that, the crowd starts chanting "TAKE WHAT'S YOURS!" and jumping around. And all it takes is one small incidental push of one person into another from Rage as he and cousin come down from the table to send the mob over the edge. With dominoes into more pushing. And the the knocking over a concession stand. And then all hell breaking loose as Fury stand at a distance now admiring their handiwork.]

Rage: Maybe this anarchy stuff might work out after all.

Spice: Or cost us our jobs. I'm really thinking about jumping in there and taken some hot dogs.

[As security is rushing in to break-up the impromptu riot, MBC Commissioner Becky Carlise-Skullhead steps into view with a look of absolute disbelef. She spots the cousins watching the chaos and trying her best to maintain her composure approach them.]

BC-S: What.....on earth.......happened.....

[Spice: shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Rage just grins and shakes his head looking at the mob before turning to the Commish.]

Rage: Welcome to Detroit. What!?

[Rage follows his cousin as Carlise-Skullhead tries to get her bearings on how to handle the situation. Fade.]

Skullhead: Oh sweet Jesus! We've got a riot outside our door!

Pinhead: This is the good work your son and his friends do?

Slush: What? He's empowering the disenfranchised.

Pinhead: TO RIOT!

Slush: I don't see anything wrong with that. They've got frustrations to work out like anybody else.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Don't be agreeing with "The Man". Hell, you aren't even a "Man" to begin with.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: I never heard anybody be afraid of "The Hamster".

Skullhead: I am being told that police have arrived on the scene and have the situation under control.

Pinhead: Yeah, I've seen riots before. They don't get "under control" that quickly.

Skullhead: If nothing else, it's contained. We, on the other hand, need to move on with the show.

Pinhead: And keep the rest of these people entertained.

Skullhead: And the main event should be fairly entertaining, that is however, if it doesn't break down into a riot itself. Every wrestler here really doesn't like their partner. Some dislike more than others.

Pinhead: I don't see how the team of Nina Grimsson and Dalbello Rage can really coexist and the team of Myra Benedict and Tara Marshall? You're just asking for trouble.

Skullhead: Kiora Donavon and Amber Rogers may not like one another but they at least have the most to lose. And it would seem they'll work together long enough to try and keep the gold.

Pinhead: Let's get to the match before the people get antsy.

______________________________________________________
/_ __/ __ )_ __/ STRANGE BEDFELLOWS MATCH
/ / / __ |/ / FOR THE PSYCHO DRIVER TAG TEAM TITLES
/ / / /_/ // / Donavon/Rogers © vs
/_/ /_____//_/ Benedict/Marshall vs. Rage/Grimsson
|
|____________________________________Writer: Kyle B. Lee


[It's not like this sort of match was never done before. Odd tag partners have been assigned many times before. But there were so many combustible elements here, well, it was just going to be a powder keg. Each woman came out individually, the tag team champions included. First was Tara Marshall and then her partner, Myra Benedict. The two exchanged cold looks and of course, both women had their eyes on Myra's Women's title. Next came Dalbello Rage and Nina Grimsson. Not once did they speak to each other when they both got into the ring. But it seemed quite obvious that a few words would only lead to blows. Finally came Kiora Donavon and then Amber Rogers. With all six women in the ring, the referee gathered them at the center and in addition to the rules, he went over the situation going on outside the arena. Myra had a sly smile on her face but said nothing as the referee finished. With that done, he sent the non legal women to their corners and called for the bell to start this thing off.]

Pinhead: What's Myra so smug about?

Skullhead: Proud that her fellow members of Amity are causing so much trouble.

Slush: Trouble? Hardly! Power to the people!

[All six women went to their respective corners and had some sort of communication about who would step out first for their team. These communications weren't all with words but they were had none the less. Amber Rogers confidently represented her team as Tara Marshall took the lead for hers and Dalbello Rage simply assumed she would take the first outing for her side. Kiora, Myra and Nina all watched with interest as the other three women collided and tried to gain some semblance of momentum. It was rather difficult given the additional factor of a third woman but there were brief instances of time when they could. Tara Marshall was the first to tag out, making sure Myra carried her weight in the match. Nina Grimsson was the first to tag herself in, not wanting Dalbello to "cost them" the match. And Kiora was the final one, bidding her time and letting the others beat each other up.]

Skullhead: We're off to a wild one here in the main event. The fans are certainly enjoying it.

Pinhead: Is it just me or are the top sections starting to clear out?

Slush: Maybe Tom Landis showed up.

Pinhead: I really doubt that's the case.

[While the upper sections may have been clearing out, the match was still going on. And the fans down below didn't seem to notice what was going on above. Probably all for the best. The best team effort early on came from Kiora Donavon and Amber Rogers. Though her teammate may not have fully appreciated it, Amber Rogers kept a watchful eye for anybody trying to attack her partner from behind. On the occasions where the opposition tried to pin Kiora, Amber would quickly come into break up the pin. And should Kiora have a pin herself, Amber went after anybody who tried to make a save. Really, it was the best team work of the entire match.]

Pinhead: Amber looks like she's very committed to this team.

Slush: Well, on her way to the Grammy, she's got to step on a lot of little people to get there.

Pinhead: I really doubt that's how Kiora wants to be seen.

Skullhead: Sure are a lot of police in the crowd right now...

[Elsewhere in the match, Tara Marshall and Myra Benedict coexisted for a decent amount of time. But it was inevitable before the working relationship between these two started to break down. First it was needling from Myra directed at Tara. Tara responded by starting to use Myra's own moves while in the ring. And this only escalated when Tara used Myra's moves as Myra was doing them on the other side of the ring. And for the third team, it became all about one-upmanship. Dalbello sought to do everything better than Nina and before long, Nina had enough and simply attacked her own partner.]

Pinhead: Here we go! This is what we've been expecting!

Skullhead: Nina Grimsson had a short fuse when it came to Dalbello Rage anyways. Didn't take much for Nina to go off the handle!

Slush: Wow! She must have made the police mad!

[It's unknown if the police were mad about Nina turning on Dalbello, but a multitude of police officers appeared at the entrance way and started to make their way down to the ring. At the same time, several police officers were seen walking through the crowd. At the end of the ramp, some took up positions around the security barriers while the rest entered the ring in the middle of the match. The one in charge came around to the commentator's table...]

Police Officer: We're shutting this show down.

Skullhead: You're what?

Police Officer: You've got a riot going on outside! We're shutting this [MEEP]ing thing down! Get your [MEEP] and head backstage!

[With that, the microphone's cut off. The police in the crowd started to tell everybody to leave and of course the crowd was booing like crazy. The ladies inside the ring weren't taking it too well and some of them were having to be restrained. Heat of battle and all that. The referee, loyal to his duty to the very end, called for the bell and waved that the match went to a no contest. The camera crew tried to go up to the head officer but the officer put his hand over the camera and here... we have sweet merciful black.]

Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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KliqerT
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Doughy
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I so want to see Bear Shaft take on the Angry Panda now.
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ratrangerm
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KliqerT,May 27 2009
10:55 PM
I so want to see Bear Shaft take on the Angry Panda now.

Ballbreaker cage, book it!
"Just as I discovered the meaning of life, it changed." -- George Carlin
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Matt
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Granny
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"deep, plunging cleavage"!

What a great promo.
Note to self: Be erect by half past ten.
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MBCKyle
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Matt,Jun 6 2009
06:21 PM
"deep, plunging cleavage"!

What a great promo.

I've often contemplated nicknaming a PPV "Lowest Common Denominator"
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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RedRajah
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MBCKyle,Jun 8 2009
01:56 PM
Matt,Jun 6 2009
06:21 PM
"deep, plunging cleavage"!

What a great promo.

I've often contemplated nicknaming a PPV "Lowest Common Denominator"

Nothing will beat "Balloon Doggies of the Apocalypse" :D
And here's where I pretend to be a writer...
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MBCKyle
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RedRajah,Jun 8 2009
01:16 PM
MBCKyle,Jun 8 2009
01:56 PM
Matt,Jun 6 2009
06:21 PM
"deep, plunging cleavage"!

What a great promo.

I've often contemplated nicknaming a PPV "Lowest Common Denominator"

Nothing will beat "Balloon Doggies of the Apocalypse" :D

Which was the first appearance of Tinkle.
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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Flouzemaker
The Luther Burger
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A NOOBS INANE RAMBLINGS
(Valid opinions withheld)


First things first.
Pedro, you're late.
I know you'll read this eventually: you're late. How am I supposed to have an opinion if you don't tell me what it is first? Huh?





Alright.
Prelim auditions.
Some bits were a bit too forced, but entertaining overall.
However...
Quote:
 
[Astronaut Shaft waves his recognition and John Pole throws the steak into the far corner of the room -- and Bear Shaft charges after it. The camera cuts out just as the camera man -- along with DPW, John Pole, and the Shafts -- charges out the door at top speed.]

I demand a re-write.
There is no possible way Astronaut Shaft got out of there at top speed trapped in his suit. He could barely do it at the lowest speed.
I want to see what really happened: Bear Shaft eating Astronaut Shaft.
Or, at least, mauling him.

Dreams VS Neon Knights
... I don't know either teams and, having never read any flashes for either teams, and not knowing anything about anyone...
Well, I don't know what I'm talking about.

"Viking Vixen" Eveline Eriksen flash. No relation whatsoever to Janick Ericksen.
Just a fatuous, tiresome and pointless character that I must apologize for, but keep in mind that it is all Kyle Lee's fault if she joined MBC. Since I feel compelled to write at least one flash or more per show per character whether (s)he's involved in anything of interest or not, get used to skipping those unoriginal and redundant blocks of text.

Tesla St. James is an alcoholic? Who da thunk it. I never saw it mentioned anywhere else.
This could give Landshark Larry an opening...

Holly Hotbody flash.
Possibly just a little too short, and lacking in lengthy boobage descriptions.
Mmm... Chesticles...

Odd tidbit, and I wonder if this was planned in character creation: Delgado, I was told, is a Spanish surname that used to mean ugly, crippled or deformed. It sounds cool and rolls off the tongue nicely, but the meaning...
In any case, don't know if Jan is fugly or not, but the surname alone makes her a good Hotbody foil.

I like oblivious, clueless characters like Amber Rogers.
I'd buy her CDs.
Alright, fine. I'd take the time to illegally download them, which is still more than the usual CD gets from me.


OK, apologies for another flash there. Again, blame Kyle if you're not willing to flame the new guy. Be warned, my characters tend to invade shows, inisidiously growing like cancer tumors.
I'm an attention whore.
It's Kyle's fault, and I wash my hands of the whole thing.


Taylor MacKenzie VS Brianna Landis.
I skipped it.
Yeah, you heard me (or read), I skipped it.
I had already read this at A&A. And since the world revolves around yours truly, I had assumed everyone else did as well. ;)

I'm on the fence with this booking.
On one hand such title changes, so to speak, help make the face defending champ look like she's still a champ and did not job. On the other hand, I sort of feel that winning a championship with a blind stip devalues the belt a little by:
1 - Telegraphing a title change (for if the heel doesn't get her way with a blind stip, she looks too inept to contemplate)
2 - Winning a belt with a "cheap win" - though technically, Landis didn't even win.
In short, the upside is that Taylor looks good in the ring (not just the shower), the downside is that the Lightweight Title doesn't look like much of a prize at this point.


I thought the prelims were funnier when Sanders was the sole leader - and since I can't be funny myself, funny is a guilty pleasure I like to indulge in aplenty.
However, let's all hope the Kiora involvement eventually leads to something good. Sometimes, you have to cut back on the funny to get deeper into the meaty substance.
Feels like it'll be the transformation of Suprema the prelim into Johanna Sabrina, then non-prelim. Postlim, maybe?


The Hello Kitty Death match sort of felt a little too contrived to me, which is too bad since the 2x4 stuff was pretty much gold.
Still, the angle is moving forward, which is more important. Not every chapter of a story is flawlessly awesome, which doesn't mean the book as a whole isn't good.


I'm starting to get a little too tired to post thoughts about the rest of the show, so I'll leave it there.
Disappointing isn't it?


Hopefully, Pedro will come by soon to tell me what I think of it.

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KliqerT
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Doughy
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Flouzemaker,Jun 12 2009
03:05 AM
Taylor MacKenzie VS Brianna Landis.
I skipped it.
Yeah, you heard me (or read), I skipped it.
I had already read this at A&A. And since the world revolves around yours truly, I had assumed everyone else did as well. ;)

I'm on the fence with this booking.
On one hand such title changes, so to speak, help make the face defending champ look like she's still a champ and did not job. On the other hand, I sort of feel that winning a championship with a blind stip devalues the belt a little by:
1 - Telegraphing a title change (for if the heel doesn't get her way with a blind stip, she looks too inept to contemplate)
2 - Winning a belt with a "cheap win" - though technically, Landis didn't even win.
In short, the upside is that Taylor looks good in the ring (not just the shower), the downside is that the Lightweight Title doesn't look like much of a prize at this point.

First of all, don't you EVER skip a Brianna Landis match again.

Secondly, the blind stip usually is just a way to totally screw over a babyface, as it's mostly a heel's doing to bring it out. Kyle can correct me if I'm wrong, but every BS match I can think of was at the behest of the heel.

Point taken about the joint light heavyweight title not looking so hot after being won with a defeat, but it was a title that was at best inactive for the past several years so it didn't really have much lower to fall anyways. The trick now is to start building it up. And oh, build it up we shall. Damn Omen.

Oh, and for the record, Quarter Beer Night is still my favorite MBC PPV name.
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texanspaniard
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Yes, I'm late on reading this show and other shows as well. That's how cookie crumbles! :P

This show was a ton of fun though! This cycle has been really great, I can't wait to see where everything ends up! The opening segment with the International League of SHAFT was one of the funniest things in forever.. UNTIL HELLO KITTY DEATHMATCH SEGMENT! SOOOO Awesome! Vengeance RULES! The segment with Eriksen-Lee-St James was also so so sooooo funny! The refrain of the male brain etc. worked so well in it and it was just really funny and fun stuff! MBC is so much fun! Can't wait for Splatternad!

Top 3 Favorite Promos:
01-Kyle Lee-John Vengeance-Hello Kitty Deathmatch
02-John Pole & International League of SHAFT
03-Kyle Lee-Eveline Eriksen-Tesla St James

Favorite Moment:
-Show Shut Down Due to Riot In Middle of Main Event!

Awesome Quotes:
-Amish Shaft: I am here among the English to kick ass and churn butter.
-Slush: Ah, to be old and with a call girl on my arm.
-Slush: If this Viking woman wants to earn her keep, she better know how to work a camera. I've been working out. I'm ready to go "speedo" for the MBC calendar.
-Slush: Regret is for quitters! You do something stupid, you live up to it!
-Slush: WHY IN THIS DIGITAL AGE CAN I NOT GET SATISFACTION!?!?!?
-Slush: Always leave it to a Landis to take a bit of your soul and make you throw up a little bit in your mouth.
-Slush: I KNEW IT! YOU ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS! YOU'VE FALLEN TO THE DARKSIDE!
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MBCKyle
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Yes, the Blind Stip match is usually at the behest of the heel. For the most part it's meant as a heat maker. And heat it did make.

As far as the joint belt, I don't think it ever had any real shine to it. For a long time it was a cube of crushed metal.

And let us not forget it's nickname...

"The Calista Flockhart Memorial Title, not because she has passed but because we wish to remember her as she was 25 pounds ago"

It was a funnier nickname when Ally McBeal was around.

Now the belt can start fresh... somewhat.
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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RedRajah
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KliqerT,Jun 12 2009
12:16 PM
Flouzemaker,Jun 12 2009
03:05 AM
Taylor MacKenzie VS Brianna Landis.
I skipped it.
Yeah, you heard me (or read), I skipped it.
I had already read this at A&A. And since the world revolves around yours truly, I had assumed everyone else did as well. ;)

I'm on the fence with this booking.
On one hand such title changes, so to speak, help make the face defending champ look like she's still a champ and did not job. On the other hand, I sort of feel that winning a championship with a blind stip devalues the belt a little by:
1 - Telegraphing a title change (for if the heel doesn't get her way with a blind stip, she looks too inept to contemplate)
2 - Winning a belt with a "cheap win" - though technically, Landis didn't even win.
In short, the upside is that Taylor looks good in the ring (not just the shower), the downside is that the Lightweight Title doesn't look like much of a prize at this point.

First of all, don't you EVER skip a Brianna Landis match again.

Secondly, the blind stip usually is just a way to totally screw over a babyface, as it's mostly a heel's doing to bring it out. Kyle can correct me if I'm wrong, but every BS match I can think of was at the behest of the heel.

Point taken about the joint light heavyweight title not looking so hot after being won with a defeat, but it was a title that was at best inactive for the past several years so it didn't really have much lower to fall anyways. The trick now is to start building it up. And oh, build it up we shall. Damn Omen.

Oh, and for the record, Quarter Beer Night is still my favorite MBC PPV name.

For shame, Beeby...you didn't forget the one where Stephanie Harper used the Blind Stip to get back at Donna Tetreault in UWF, did you? ;)
And here's where I pretend to be a writer...
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MBCKyle
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RedRajah,Jun 12 2009
12:00 PM
KliqerT,Jun 12 2009
12:16 PM
Flouzemaker,Jun 12 2009
03:05 AM
Taylor MacKenzie VS Brianna Landis.
I skipped it.
Yeah, you heard me (or read), I skipped it.
I had already read this at A&A. And since the world revolves around yours truly, I had assumed everyone else did as well. ;)

I'm on the fence with this booking.
On one hand such title changes, so to speak, help make the face defending champ look like she's still a champ and did not job. On the other hand, I sort of feel that winning a championship with a blind stip devalues the belt a little by:
1 - Telegraphing a title change (for if the heel doesn't get her way with a blind stip, she looks too inept to contemplate)
2 - Winning a belt with a "cheap win" - though technically, Landis didn't even win.
In short, the upside is that Taylor looks good in the ring (not just the shower), the downside is that the Lightweight Title doesn't look like much of a prize at this point.

First of all, don't you EVER skip a Brianna Landis match again.

Secondly, the blind stip usually is just a way to totally screw over a babyface, as it's mostly a heel's doing to bring it out. Kyle can correct me if I'm wrong, but every BS match I can think of was at the behest of the heel.

Point taken about the joint light heavyweight title not looking so hot after being won with a defeat, but it was a title that was at best inactive for the past several years so it didn't really have much lower to fall anyways. The trick now is to start building it up. And oh, build it up we shall. Damn Omen.

Oh, and for the record, Quarter Beer Night is still my favorite MBC PPV name.

For shame, Beeby...you didn't forget the one where Stephanie Harper used the Blind Stip to get back at Donna Tetreault in UWF, did you? ;)

Perhaps we should say that Blind stip matches are always at the behest of the Bastard.
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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