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[MBC] Tuesday Bloody Tuesday - June 2nd, 2009
Topic Started: Jun 10 2009, 04:10 PM (11,103 Views)
MBCKyle
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The Soda Dog Refreshment Squad
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Dawn. Overland Park, Kansas. This morning.

The sun is just about to come up over the horizon and in the soft morning light we see a large group of people all gathered in an empty lot. In the distance we see a bar called "Tailgaters Bar and Grill". As the cameras come closer to this large group, they all become recognizable for they are the entire roster of the MBC. In fact, it is every wrestler, manager, commentator and on air personality. All except for three.

And when this group splits right down the middle, we see those remaining three at the end of this split human sea.

Standing with his arms behind his back is MBC Owner and President "The Doomsayer" Kyle Lee. At his left is MBC Commissioner Becky Carlisle-Skullhead and at his right is "The Disgruntled Postal Worker" James Hardi, member of the Board of Regents.

All the wrestlers stand at attention, quiet and ready to hear what the President has to say in his "Come to Jesus" meeting.]

KL: It was at the dawn of time that Ouranos played his part in creating the world, or so some of the old stories say. In time, he was overthrown by his son Chronos, who in turn was overthrown by his son Zeus. Zeus ruled from his thrown on Olympus, always aware that one day his own son could come for him. Zeus certainly liked to party and he had the bastard children across the world to prove it. But all was not what it seemed on Olympus.

[Lee turns and points at a major highway in the distance.]

KL: You see what's behind me? That's Interstate 35. Take it south and it leads right to Dallas, Texas.

Our home.

Our Olympus.

[And we come to the point...]

KL: And all is not right in Olympus. Why? Because we can't go home. We have few place we _can_ go because more than a few of you took it upon yourselves to use the freedom that's been given to you and abuse it. I don't call these gathering often and for good reason. I don't want to be too overbearing, too omnipresent. I thought that if I was less of a presence, the product would be better. I'm thinking though that this was a mistake.

[Lee starts to walk down the line, where to the right he first comes upon Vengeance and the Industry of Hate. They're unusually quiet and calm but now would not be the time to act up.]

KL: Some of you need to be baby sat. Some of you need to be watched constantly because just as soon as I turn away, something ends up on fire. Responsibility is a foreign concept to you and you being apologetic is about as likely as my winning the lottery. That _would_ be winning the lottery. I'd fire you but labor laws somehow are your friend. Legal technicalities prevent me from doing so. And if I did fire you, who would protect the world?

[Vengeance says nothing. Lee lingers a moment before walking down the line. To the left he comes to the Hand of Doom. Surprisingly, he stops in front of Kiora Donavon.]

KL: I've longed to make the MBC a family. Family is certainly welcome. After all, we've got more families working together in the MBC than any other company out there. However, within a familial structure, somebody must be an authority. Somebody must keep the younglings from running rampant and pulling fire alarms. Be it fine, misdemeanor or felony, in the future, I will not hesitate to cooperate fully with local authorities to ensure that violators will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

[Kiora and the Hand say nothing. Now would not be the time. Later though... who knows? Lee glances at each member of the Hand before moving on.]

KL: Don’t get me wrong. I do want the MBC to be a place where you can be yourselves. Be the inner bastards you want to be.

[Lee walks back to the right and stops in front of Mike Reznor.]

KL: Now sure, some of us have had our differences. While I may be stubborn, I'm not impossible to work with. Some of you have found it rather easy over the years. I want to be the one promoter who cares about your well being as a wrestler. I want to be the one promoter who gives a damn about your health.

[Lee suddenly turns away from Reznor, crossing the divide in the "sea" to lock eyes with "Heavy Metal Hero" Erik Grimsson.]

KL: Maybe it's a "shame on me" for giving a damn. Maybe it's a shame that I want to see the people who work for me have a chance at being healthy when they retire. But it's fine. If you want to take the gamble, then I'm going to tell you all right now that it's not me who is forcing you into the ring injured. The risk will be yours to take.

[Lee proceeds back to the middle of the aisle. He gazes over everybody, who await who will be confronted next.]

KL: I'm not a ruthless dictator here. I would hope that is understood. But I'm a man set in his ways. I like being home. I'm all American but the red, white and blue I bleed is for Texas. There is no other place I'd rather be. Alas, we do not have that option.

[Carlisle and Hardi walk up behind Lee. When the President puts up his hand, Hardi is quick to place within that hand a piece of paper.]

KL: Here my friends is confirmation of a venue for SplatterNad. Becky and James busted their asses to get this done and thanks to them, our largest pay per view of the year will be in Los Angeles, California. God help us if anybody messes it up. And God help whoever does.

[Lee resumes walking down the aisle.]

KL: It is understandable that the officials in Los Angeles have "concerns" about certain behaviors that many of the MBC's personnel engage in. I have these concerns myself.

[And finally, Lee comes to a stop in front of all four members of Amity: The One-Winged Angel, Rage, Spice and "Poison Bliss" Myra Benedict.]

KL: Los Angeles is extremely wary about riots. Low and behold as James and Becky are trying to get this deal done, news come down that there's a riot in progress in Detroit.

[Lee's eyes focus in on Rage and Spice.]

KL: It goes without saying that you two are suspended for your little stunt.

[Rage and Spice don't even flinch.]

KL: But what I want to know is who is responsible for thinking that asinine stunt up?

[Lee looks at the One-Winged Angel, expecting him to answer. Alas, it is not he...]

PBMB: Asinine? No, no, no...

_Brilliant_.

_Flawless_.

And _long_ overdue.

[Myra steps forward to look Lee in the eyes.]

PBMB: I only wish it had been more... _fulfilling_.

[Lee cocks his head in both anger and disappointment.]

KL: So let’s get this straight Myra. You thought that six figure property damage and endangering the lives and well being of innocent bystanders was a good idea?

[Myra's narrowing, unblinking eyes remain fixed on Lee. A fiendish smirk slowly creeps its way across her lips, as she nods her head in acknowledgement.]

PBMB: Haven't you been paying attention for the last six years? Anarchy, including the creation of riots, have been my goal since day one. And will continue to be my goal until its ultimate success.

[The smug fiendish smirk widens just a bit.]

PBMB: Detroit and the rest of the world got a wake-up call. I don't care what damage is done, or how it hurts your wallet. The more...

[The smirk widens further, now becoming a taunting grin.]

PBMB: The _merrier_.

[She pauses briefly, glancing at her fellow Amity comrades, before returning her icy glare to Lee.]

PBMB: As for your precious "innocent bystanders"...their well-being is of no concern to me. They're fortunate to be alive, and not having to fight for the air they breathe. Next time I'll pick more capable rioters, not a pack of useless drunks.

[Lee is clearly unimpressed.]

KL: That’s an honest answer at least. The lack of remorse... the lack of tact... the lack of good judgment... If there is indeed a "next time" Myra, it won't be for the MBC.

[A tense pause...]

KL: You're fired.

[Murmurs from the crowd at large as Lee holds out his hand expecting Myra to hand over the MBC Women's Championship. Myra gazes down at the MBC Women's Championship in her hands, then back at Lee - her eyes narrowing in anger.]

PBMB: If you want it so badly, then come take it.

[Lee takes a step forward to take the belt from Myra, not in the mood to waste any more time with this. Myra however doesn't let go. The two have a long, intense stare down, before he finally pries the title belt from her hands. Myra remains there, intent on standing in defiance.

Behind them, Commissioner Carlisle raises her hand and within a short moment, members of the MBC Wrecking Crew appear behind Myra. When they move to escort her away, she punches one in the abdomen and starts walking out on her own, unphased and head held high.

Lee takes the Women's Championship and walks back to the center of the aisle. The hole where Myra once stood fills with people. He lets the murmurs die down before holding the title belt up for all to see.]

KL: I'm hoping what just happened means something to everybody. Most of all, I hope you all know that I'm serious when I say that the time for the natives being restless is over.

[Lee hands the now vacant MBC Women's Championship to Commissioner Carlisle.]

KL: You can be the bastards you want to be. But the moment you jeopardize the livelihood, the well being and the very lives of those around you, that is the moment you cross the line.

Past that line you're a malignancy that will be cut out.

[Lee lets that statement linger.]

KL: I hope you're all clear on that.

[With that, Lee turns and walks back up the aisle. Hardi and Carlisle follow as we fade to intro...

"Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" by Bruce Dickenson with Godspeed quickly begins to play as the opening credits kick into motion. We're treated to various images of the MBC's most recent spectacular 2X4 2008...]

#You've seen life through distorted eyes#
#You know you had to learn#
#The execution of your mind#
#You really had to turn#

[The first image we see is the flashback to the mid 80's with Slush wearing Addidas... little people dressed just like him... the appearance of "The Devil's Mother"... the spectacle of the 2X4 Tournament Third Round match... Kathryn Elyson and Andrea Kristian taking on Susan Davis and Tesla St. James... Mike Reznor and TENMA Akamu going toe to toe... the preliminary wrestlers swarming in...]

#The race is run the book is read#
#The end begins to show#

[The insanity of Lights Camera Action beating the tar out of referees who think they're wrestlers... The Chromosomes appearing and taking the fight to LCA... Hands punching through a wall to grab Slush by the throat... Max Benson and Ryu Osawa taking The Omen down and both covering for the pin... Erik Grimsson and Jan Delgado getting the final word in on Holly Hotbody and Brawn Stevenson...]

#The truth is out, the lies are old#
#But you don’t want to know#

[Stan Crawford locked into a physical showdown with Chromosome Y... Dalbello Rage using every trick in her book in order to keep Jerry Titus down... Kiora Donavon and Amber Rogers winning the Psycho Driver Tag Team titles from Leanna and Lolita Love... The Omen delivering prophecy to Slush...]

#Nobody will ever let you know#
#When you ask the reasons why#
#They just tell you that you're on your own#
#Fill your head all full of lies...#

[The return of Tinkle... The Return of R.U.N.T... The Problem Solvers getting the win over Fury in a brutal Falls Count Anywhere Match... Tom Landis, One-Winged Angel, Myra Benedict, and Tara Marshall all brawling into the crowd... Jerry Titus and Stan Crawford beating one another bloody... Jerry Titus holding the SBC Title victorious... The return of the Hand of Doom...]

#...YOU BASTARD!!!#

[The image lingers before it gives way to the guitar solo and logo...]

______ __ ___ __ __
/_ __/_ _____ ______/ /__ ___ __/ _ )/ /__ ___ ___/ /_ __
/ / / // / -_|_-< _ / _ `/ // / _ / / _ Y _ Y _ / // /
/_/ \_,_/\__/___|_,_/\_,_/\_, /____/_/\___|___|_,_/\_, /
/_ __/_ ____/___/___/ /__ ___ __ /___/
/ / / // / -_|_-< _ / _ `/ // /
/_/ \_,_/\__/___|_,_/\_,_/\_, /
/___/


D E S O L A T E , E X I L E D A N D
D E S P E R A T E T O U R

J u n e 2 n d , 2 0 0 9

K e m p e r A r e n a

K a n s a s C i t y , M i s s o u r i


[The logo fades and we are quickly taken to the inside of Kemper Arena. The venue is full and the fans are anxious to get the show started. For the first time in a while, something stupid didn't delay the start... as far as we know. Can't really tell at this point. Our trained monkeys... I mean commentators haven't spoken yet.]

Skullhead: Welcome everyone to another edition of Tuesday Bloody Tuesday. And yes, we're broadcasting on a Tuesday.

[See, there you go.]

Pinhead: And no fire alarms.

[Even better.]

Skullhead: Thankfully, we have a somewhat normal start to the show.

[At right is our play by play man Robert Harrison-Skoehl, also known as Skullhead.]

Pinhead: Though, we really had an interesting meeting this morning.

[At center is color commentator and all around smooth cat Ian "Pinhead" McAllister.]

Slush: We had a meeting?

Tinkle: MEEP!

[And yes, at the far end are Anthony Wayneright Danza III (a.k.a. Slush) and Tinkle, his hamster familiar.]

Pinhead: Yes, we did. How do you not know that?

Slush: Hell if I know.

Pinhead: You were standing right next to me!

Slush: Oh. OOOOH. That meeting. Yeah, I fell asleep.

Pinhead: Standing up?

Slush: It's a trick I learned in Arkansas.

Pinhead: From who?

Slush: Cows. Man's best friend.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: And tastiest.

Skullhead: So you don't remember a single bit of it this morning.

Slush: Sleeping like a baby.

Pinhead: And you didn't watch the replay?

Slush: I had to tie my shoe. Did I miss something?

Pinhead: Myra Benedict was fired for one thing.

Slush: WHAT?

Pinhead: The MBC Women's Championship is now officially vacant.

Slush: WHAT?

Skullhead: And I dare say deserved after she showed that she had every intent to carry on her dangerous activities.

Slush: WHAT?

Pinhead: You can keep screaming that, but it's not really going to get you anywhere.

Slush: This is a travesty! Ms. Benedict did not deserve to be fired! Her work was bringing the MBC to the masses.

Pinhead: More like her work was bringing severe injury and third degree burns to the masses.

Slush: This cannot stand! Just you wait! My son will have something to say about this! Amity stands united!

Pinhead: I'm sure the One-Winged Angel won't skip an opportunity to open his mouth.

Skullhead: With all that being said, we've got a great card lined up. Jan Delgado takes the next step in her Gauntlet Challenge, this time facing Aurora Cordova.

Slush: Holly, she must be so torn up about Ms. Benedict being fired.

Pinhead: Why the hell would she care?

Slush: Holly sheds a tear for every person hurt across the world... for every puppy kicked... for every kitten juggled...

Skullhead: In a double debut, Bastard Stampede up and comer Akeyla Ruiz takes on "The Viking Vixen" Eveline Eriksen.

Slush: I know nothing of either.

Pinhead: And I doubt it will stop you from saying something stupid.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Ignorance cannot stop me!

Pinhead: Obviously.

Skullhead: In singles action, old foes Brawn Stevenson and "Heavy Metal Hero" Erik Grimsson go toe to toe.

Pinhead: And knee to knee. Grimsson apparently is going to wrestle despite that bad wheel.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Skullhead: And in the main event, The Problem Solvers will defend the Team Bastard Championship titles against The Chromosomes. That should be extremely interesting.

Slush: Says you. I may have to access the ancient secrets of Cow-Fu.

Pinhead: And do what? Get milked?

Slush: If I have to. You know what they say about anything with nipples.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: That's right. They're attached to boobs.

Pinhead: And speaking of...

[The scene opens backstage to Holly Hotbody. The busty beauty is inexplicably clad in a fur bikini and heels, a look to make Raquel Welch proud. She's simply standing and staring into space, twirling a stray strand of her auburn hair around her finger, completely oblivious to the lecherous glances she gets from the MBC crew.]

Voice: Holly?

[She turns to see a confused Brawn Stevenson approach, clad in his wrestling attire of T-shirt and jeans.]

Holly: Hello, Brawn.

Brawn: What in the [Meep] are you doing, standing out here?

[Holly waves her well-manicured hand and sighs.]

Holly: I needed a space to think and couldn't do it in that poor excuse for a dressing room that they stuck me in. I swear! You'd think Lee would be pulling out the red carpet for me. After all, I'm the best thing this place has got going. Who else can fill an arena full of perverts and sleaze bags faster than me?

[Brawn looks her up and down approvingly.]

Brawn: I'm with ya.

Holly: [frowns] That man needs to start treating me like the gift that I am!

Brawn: Hells yeah! Luckily, the Hand of Doom will be helping to make that one happen. So, what's on your mind? Plotting Jan's demise again?

[Holly makes a face.]

Holly: Please! She's hardly worth the effort. I will admit that I didn't imagine she would beat Luna at the last show. But I think we both know that was nothing but a fluke, a last ditch stroke of luck. There's no way in [Meep] that she can do it again. In fact, I've already taken measures to ensure it doesn't.

Brawn: [grins] Sounds awesome.

Holly: Oh, it will be, at least for me. But no. What I was actually thinking about were the many ways you could end Erik Grimsson's career, during your match tonight.

[Brawn's grin widens, a sinister gleam in his eyes.]

Brawn: Then we've got something in common, 'cause I was thinking the exact same thing. I'm leaning towards snapping that gimp's knee right off.

Holly: [nods] I believe that would be appropriate.

Brawn: I mean, the thing looks like it's barely hanging on as it is. I'd actually be doing him a favor. Besides, I owe that chump for stealing that win from us at 2x4 anyway. I'm still not over that one.

Holly: [pouts] Join the club!

Brawn: Plus, my old lady hates everything Grimsson. Something about some blood feud with his ugly sister back in California or something.

[Brawn shrugs his shoulders.]

Brawn: I can't keep up with who she hates. Seems to be a new name every week. All I do know is that she promised me some prime [Meep] if I beat the [Meep] out of Erik tonight. And if there's one thing that motivates me more than anything, it's good [Meep], especially from the wife.

[Holly flashes him a strange look before shaking her head.]

Holly: I can imagine.

Brawn: And taking him out will be perfect for the Hand too and make an example for all of the rest of these lames around here. Show 'em what happens when we set our sights on 'em. [his grin widens] It'll be like killing two birds with one stone.

Holly: Well, I look forward to seeing it. After all, that idiot needs to finally be put out of all of our miseries.

Brawn: And I'm the man to get the job done. So, I hope you get a front row seat. 'Cause Erik Grimsson dies tonight.

Holly: [grins] Perfect. And I can't wait to drop it like it's hot all over his grave.

[Holly then proceeds to turn around and do a booty shake, an eager Brawn cheering her on, as the scene fades.]

Slush: You are a horrible, horrible man for exploiting Holly for your suggestive and sexually inappropriate segue.

Pinhead: They day you realize that Holly is the opposite of the virginal image you've thrust upon her...

Slush: Hehe... "thrust".

Pinhead: [Sigh]

Tinkle: MEEP!

Skullhead: Seeing that, something comes to mind.

Pinhead: B-movies about dinosaurs and cave girls?

Skullhead: Well, yes.. but outside that, tonight is a very Hand of Doom heavy show. Three out of the four matches feature Hand of Doom members.

Pinhead: Well we better batten down the hatches. We can expect a rough night.

Skullhead: So much for peace and quiet.

Slush: Harness you're inner calf! Be one with the veil!

Tinkle: MEEP!

Skullhead: No time, we've got to the first match. Jan Delgado takes on Aurora Cordova.

Pinhead: Jan did a great job overcoming Luna Cordova on the last TBT, but Luna was clearly more interested in playing with her food than beating her. I would not be surprised if Aurora is charged up to put a stop to Delgado's run through the gauntlet.

Skullhead: And you heard Holly. She's got something already planned.

Slush: Probably planting a tree in her cousin's honor.

Pinhead: Yeah... doubtful.

[The scene opens to the dressing room of Jan Delgado. The young woman is standing in front of her mirrored vanity, eying her reflection with a wary look. She's clad in her wrestling attire of tank top and pleated, mini skirt. Her black hair falls straight down her back and she's wearing a pair of tennis shoes.]

Jan: Okay, girl. Calm down.

[She takes a deep breath and exhales sharply.]

Jan: You can do this. You already beat the first Cordova twin. Now, you just gotta do the other one. It shouldn't be too hard, right? I mean, those freaks are practically the same person anyway!

[Jan sighs, a frown crossing her lips as she continues to speak to her reflection.]

Jan: I just gotta watch out for that skank cousin of mine. Holly has to be beyond pissed that I won that first match. And while that thought is quite appealing,

[A flash of a quick grin gives way to a nervous frown.]

Jan: I know what she can get like when she gets angry! She's at her petty, vindictive best. And now that she's a member of the Hand of Doom too, there's no telling what kind of trouble she can start.

[She pauses, seemingly mulling over her situation.]

Jan: Maybe I need to rethink this whole thing. I mean, she's got numbers out the wazoo now. There's really nothing that she can't do. Maybe I could re-schedule or...

[Jan's voice trails off and she shudders. She suddenly shakes her head, letting out another exhale and slamming her hands down on the counter. As she gazes at her reflection, her expression changes, going from one of uncertainty to steely determination.]

Jan: Just stop it, fool! If you keep this up, you'll psych yourself out and that [Meep] will win! You've proven yourself a million times and you will be ready. There's too much at stake otherwise.

[She takes another deep breath and exhales.]

Jan: So, stop playing chicken and let's do this!

[She turns and exits the dressing room, closing the door behind her. As she turns, she nearly runs smack into the Love Sisters, who are standing before her. Leanna is clad in a black tank top and jeans. Meanwhile, Lolita wears a canary yellow, track suit.]

Jan: Oh! Hey, guys.

Lolita: [smiles] Hey, Jan! We just wanted to stop by to see how you were doing.

Leanna: And let you know that we've got your back.

[A grateful smile crosses Jan's lips.]

Jan: Thanks, guys. I appreciate the offer of help. I'm hoping that I won't need it. But knowing Holly and The Hand...

Leanna: Say no more. Just know that, if anything funny goes down, we'll be there. Especially if that funny goes by the name Kiora.

Jan: [laughs] Thanks. Now, I'd better get going.

Lolita: Good luck!

[Fade out.]

______________________________________________________
/_ __/ __ )_ __/
/ / / __ |/ / JAN DELGADO versus
/ / / /_/ // / AURORA CORDOVA
/_/ /_____//_/
|____________________________________Writer: Kyle B. Lee


[The situation from last show was much different. Gone was the carefree attitude that Luna Cordova had before her match against Jan Delgado. Now that it was Aurora's turn to face Jan, she was much more serious about her approach. How serious? Well in TMK terms I suppose, it's all about how one dresses. Thus, the fact that Aurora Cordova was dressed as a police officer, complete with large mirrored sunglasses, showed she was uber serious. That or she was a police styled stripper. You never can tell with the TMK sometimes. Cordova in the ring, Jan made her entrance. Despite all the fan support, she still seemed rather nervous. But she came to the ring and got right to work.

Aurora took the match with Delgado far more seriously than her sister did the show before, making for a far more competitive match. Sure, Aurora still enjoyed playing with her food but she displayed more wrestling skill than a desire to rev Delgado up. Delgado's nervousness faded the longer the match went on but Aurora did much to undermine Jan's confidence. What's worse is that Kiora Donavon made her way to the ring to swing things in Aurora's favor. The distraction alone was enough to hand Cordova full control of the match. But Leanna Love raced to the ring to prevent Kiora from doing anything too drastic. Two rivals brawled on the outside, causing a distraction with both Aurora and the referee. Jan took the opportunity to hit Cordova with the Whippersnapper and cover to get the three count.]

RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this match by pinfall... JAN DELGADO!!!

Skullhead: Another big win for Jan Delgado here.

Pinhead: And another instance where the Wrecking Crew is needed.

Skullhead: Kiora and Leanna are just tearing into one another. The tension between them is unreal!

Slush: They should just get a room. All will be better.

Pinhead: Not that kind of tension Slush.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: You never know.

Skullhead: Even still, Jan Delgado moves ones step closer to being able to face her cousin Holly.

Slush: Poor virtuous Holly. Having to deal with this... this... unpure... unwashed...

Pinhead: Stop right there Slush. Jan is none of those things.

Slush: Holly is pure as snow. SNOW I TELL YOU!

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Right. With great ski slopes.

Pinhead: I liked you better when you thought you were gay.

[We fade to backstage. It's here we find Bartholomew Prevert and Les Ewich, the union president and legal advisor (not necessarily in that order) of the Referees Union Taking Action Before Everyone Gets Ahead. Both are dressed in their referee's attire, each with a beer in his hand.]

BP: Thanks to our benefactors, we can enjoy the pleasures of alcoholic beverages while on the job.

LE: Well, not quite on the job... you do know that the commissioner is not assigning us to matches.

[Barth takes a sip of his beer.]

BP: Perhaps... but it's actually been to our advantage. It has given us time to observe what has been taking place and know how to better serve our fellow men who call it down the middle.

LE: But of course... and tonight, we outline exactly how our brothers who should become fellow union members can do their jobs that much better.

"And we trust that you can convince them to do that."

[That would be a distorted voice, so it must be The Chromosomes approaching. And sure enough, there they are, X and Y, both with their special mics in hand.]

X: We must not forget the debacle that went down with Lights, Camera, Action. The rules do spell out that a double pinfall cannot legally happen as only one member of a team can legally take the pin.

Y: That may seem to some to be an issue for Osawa and Benson to solve, but in reality, Saotome and Jackson took advantage of a referee who was too intimidated by them to enforce the rules in place.

X: We shall deal with Saotome and Jackson soon enough, but in the meantime... the two of you must lay down the authority the referees are supposed to have.

BP: Do not worry, our benefactors. We shall see to it that their authority is established, one step at a time.

LE: You do understand that, given the tendencies of most people on the MBC roster, that it will be a difficult path.

Y: That we know... which is why we are giving you our backing. Because the more we help your cause, the more we will keep the rest of the MBC guessing.

X: We leave the two of you to your duties... in the meantime, my partner and I must prepare for The Problem Solvers. Having the backing of the Hand of Doom has only made them more predictable, more dangerous and more cunning.

Y: Which means it is up to us to stay a step ahead of those two... and to let all in the MBC know that we intend to create further chaos.

BP: You know, that's kind of the irony... we are supposed to restore order through our duties, yet you wish to create chaos.

X: Mr. Prevert... if you think for a minute, the means by which you intend to restore order will create that very chaos.

Y: And that's because nobody in the MBC, from the Hand of Doom to Amity to the man who currently holds the top title, will ever know for certain how you intend to restore that order.

[Les takes a sip of his beer, then smiles.]

LE: A point well taken... and do not worry. We know what must be done.

[Fade out.]

Pinhead: I really don't like where the whole thing with the referees is going.

Skullhead: As in, they shouldn't be influenced by wrestlers?

Pinhead: Exactly. It has shades of Simon O'Neal. And we're still paying for that mistake.

Skullhead: This situation is different, and possibly more sinister.

Pinhead: At least the Chromosomes aren't quite as involved as O'Neal was. In addition to all that, they're seemingly calling out Lights Camera Action.

Skullhead: Who they have been messing with since before 2X4 2008.

Pinhead: Never mind that tonight they have to face the Problem Solvers.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Yes I know I'm being quiet right now.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: I'm trying to catch up on some sleep. Pinhead is boring me, so it’s the perfect time.

Pinhead: Hey!

Skullhead: Well, speaking of the Problem Solvers...

[The camera fades in to see a table, filled with various foods; rolls, baked potatoes, spinach (hey, even wrestlers need to eat vegetables). But most prominently, copious amounts of ribs, slathered with BBQ sauce. Seated at the table are Dan Muldoon and Pete Davidson, known as the Problem Solvers. Both men are wearing their three piece suits and sunglasses, and both have large napkins tucked into their shirts. Their are in the process of eating... check that, annihilating... the ribs on the table.

Over to the left, seated at a table by himself, is Mr. Haliburton. He is sipping a cup of tea, with a scone next to it. On the other side of the table are the MBC Team Bastard Titles. He looks over at his charges and winces slightly, before addressing the camera directly.]

Mr. H: I consider myself a carnivore, but you Americans have rather... primitive... means of cooking your meat. [He shrugs] Ah well. Dan and Pete are enjoying themselves. The perks of being the champions. We all enjoy our perks- and the cash- and the power- that comes from holding the title belts.

[Mister Haliburton reaches over and taps the titles approvingly.]

Mr. H: Which is why we don't plan on loosening our grips on these belts for a long, long time. Now, I understand the MBC has given these Chromosomes a title shot. Mr. X and Mr. Y... [he pauses] or are one of them a woman? It's so difficult to tell in those full body costumes they wear. [Mister Haliburton shrugs]

Mr. H: It doesn't matter. No do your pet referees, Ipswich and Prevert. Biased officiating is best dealt with in a direct fashion. If they were to show up, we would have to assume that they are working in concert with you, and... act accordingly. [Mister Haliburton gives a feral smile]

Mr. H: You two will do what you can to win the titles. I respect that- admire that, in fact. But for you to win the titles... Pete and Dan would have to lose them.

[He pauses]

And that would be a Problem.

[Fade.]

Slush: Your bookie sure is confident.

Pinhead: Well, he should be with those two bruisers.

Slush: So you who'd you bet on during the American Idol finale?

Pinhead: I'd rather not talk about it.

Slush: A loser in gambling, just like in life.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: That's right Tinkle. Burn.

Pinhead: I just can't wait for your son to bring about your downfall.

Slush: Do not talk ill of my son the One-Winged Angel! He is... AN ANGEL! HE LOVES HIS PAPPA!

["crushcrushcrush" by Paramore begins to play as the wildly popular Commissioner of the MBC Becky Carlisle-Skullhead heads down the aisle. Behind her come three tough looking men in expensive suits, one of which carries a briefcase.

Becky waves to the fans, who whistle and hoot back. Inside the ring, red carpet has been laid over the canvas and a table with two chairs at either side has been placed in the middle. Carlisle enters with the suits behind her and takes the microphone from house announcer Shawni McKenzie.]

Slush: Who are the stiff's in suits?

Pinhead: I'm pretty sure those are members of the MBC legal team.

Slush: Sweet! Lawyer ninjas!

Pinhead: I don't think they're ninjas Slush.

Slush: Sure they are. I bet the one on the right could kill you with a paperclip.

BCS: Ladies and gentlemen of Kansas City, I thank you all for coming out. I've come here tonight, along with three of the MBC's top legal eagles to mediate the contract signing for the SplatterNad match between John Vengeance and Kyle Lee.

[Wild cheers.]

BCS: I would ask that our competitors come down.

["Bleed for Me" by Black Label Society blasts out over the PA system, calling forth "The Doomsayer" Kyle Lee like thunder. Dressed in his own expensive suit, Lee walks down the aisle with right hand man "The Disgruntled Postal Worker" James Hardi at his side. Both men enter the ring, shake Becky's hand and take claim to one side of the table. As we wait for Vengeance, Lee sits.]

Slush: I swear to you man, I think I saw that dude in middle in "American Ninja Part 2".

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: You're right. It could very well be Michael Dudikoff.

["Anti-saint" by Chevelle kicks in. Vengeance puts on his usual entrance shenanigans. Normally, an over the top fireworks show would occur but there is no pyrotechnical display. Saddened by the lack of fireworks Vengeance is consoled by the approaching "Happysayer" Brandon Elyson.]

Hardi: That's right. You're not burning down this arena!

Vengeance: First you two dimwits completely ignore my request for an Amish fashioned contract signing-

KL: No, you said 'old fashion.' Are you addicted to hand churned butter AGAIN?

Vengeance: No. And for the record, Amish Shaft got arrested on his own. There was no heavenly angel butter he left behind. He legitimately went to jail for punching Tony the Tiger at that kid’s event. I did not dress up in Amish apparel and frame him. I did not steal his glory butter for my bread covering greatness. It's so- that's not the point. Second, you take away fire? The burning fire is at the heart of all HATE.

KL: Three minutes and this is already off the reservation.

[With both Lee and Vengeance in the ring, the lawyers open the briefcase and pull out the contract for the match. They set it before Becky, all stealth like.]

BCS: Gentlemen, you are scheduled for a match at SplatterNad. And we are all here to finalize the details for that match. Vengeance, if you would take a seat?

JV: I've taken plenty of seats home already. I don't need any more. Oh, wait. You mean sit down. Alright.

[Vengeance sits.]

BCS: There are two phases of stipulations: The type of match and the end game. Mister Lee, you stated you wanted something if you won?

KL: Correct. What I want is an honest and sincere apology _in writing_ made by Vengeance that will be notarized and sent to every mayor and city council member for any and all cities that the MBC is currently banned from.

Vengeance: I'll be happy to oblige the former cripple with anything he's begging for if he agrees to my two terms! 1: I get a World title shot whenever I want it. 2: He cannot, under any circumstances, post my shame of apologizing on the internet!

KL: Agreed. It doesn't take genius to see through you're 'diabolic' plans.

Hardi: Is that why you bought airtime during American Idol?

KL: Oh yea.

BCS: Then we are agreed.

[The legal "ninjas" as Slush calls them step forward and quickly whip out a pen like a katana. They scribble on several places of the contract and retreat to their initial position.]

BCS: Now to agree on the type of match. Mister Lee, it was previously agreed that you would pick the style of match. Have you come to a decision?

KL: I have. Since it's inevitable that Vengeance and his idiot lackeys are going to try and interfere in the match, you know, to help prevent Vengeance's secret shame, I want an excuse to have backup.

BCS: So it will be a lumberjack match?

KL: Essentially, but we're going to do it MBC style. We're going to call it a "Magnificent Seven" match. Vengeance gets his seven and I get my seven.

Vengeance: Meh. I know what I said 10 seconds ago, but I'm not terribly comfortable with Lee getting his pick of the quality MBC litter. I know he's formerly crippled and will get a lot of the pity votes, so that's just not right. Think you're man enough to do it with anyone not affiliated with the MBC's current roster?

KL: That's not going to be hard at all. If that's all it takes to get this done, then it's done.

BCS: Then we are agreed.

[The legal ninjas swarm in and make the necessary changes to the document. With that done, the contract is put before Lee and Vengeance, ready to sign.]

KL: You first freak.

[Vengeance whips out the official Industry of HATE pen, a dagger with a pen in the hilt. The blade is hand etched with HATE across the blade and an intricately leather bound handle, suitable for contract signing and self defense.]

Vengeance: Done. I feel as if I've already won. Mark my words, Lee. I will be the king of the MBC. It's the most logical step in wrestling evolution. Darwin wrote about it in the greatest HATE document ever "Origin of the Species". It must have been like giving God the finger.

[Lee pulls out a regular ball pen, the official pen of normal people. He signs the document and slides it back to the legal ninjas, who take the piece of paper and vanish. NINJA SURPRISE!]

KL: When this match is done and I've won mind you, I'll be sure to have fresh popcorn so I can enjoy your shame. I may not have my "Magnificent Seven" yet, but it’s not going to be hard to find seven people who can't stand you.

Vengeance: Then they'll just have to sit me.

Hardi: That makes- well, it makes perfect Vengeance sense. Let’s get out of here.

[And just like the ninja lawyers, the rest of the participants in this little to-do vanish. Though not as cool as the ninjas.]

Skullhead: So it's a "Magnificent Seven" match.

Slush: Lee is screwed.

Pinhead: I really doubt that. Given Lee's connections, he could go out and get some of the biggest names in the industry to back him up.

Skullhead: Of course, Vengeance could do the same. Lee has his fair share of enemies.

Slush: Lee should have held out for more in the bet. Like... you know... a year's supply of meat. The kind you buy out of the back of a truck. That's some good stuff. Sure, it doesn't feel great coming out the other end...

Pinhead: Didn't need to go there...

Slush: But it's good meet going down.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Well... I assume it's beef.
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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[The camera pans over Kansas City's Crown Center Plaza, where man made geysers spurt out of a checkerboard pavement. The Hallmark Cards World Headquarters walk-through fountains are a pretty famous KC landmark. Children playfully frolic in the spouts, and the chubbiest one slips and falls flat on his face.

Nearby, the gorgeous "Viking Vixen" Eveline Eriksen briefly studies the boy with disdain, then lazily yawns as she steps away, jaded disinterest on her nearly flawless visage. Suddenly, the vast majority of viewing males sort of wish the fountains could spray her white dress a little. Or maybe drench it completely. That'd be hot. Mmm...

Oh, and speaking of hot, Eveline's manager and sugar daddy is sweating under the Missouri sun, nervously stuttering a tour of Kansas.]

WH: And, and-and wait 'till you see the Kauffman Stadium Fountains, they're among the world's biggest!

[Eveline groans and rolls her blue eyes.]

VVEE: Fountains again?

WH: W-well... Kansas City i-is sort of called the City of F-Fountains for a reason, honey...

VVEE, condescendingly: Oh, it's very nice, Daddy. It's just that when you've seen the fjords of Norway, anything else involving water sort of looks cheap in comparison.

[He twitches.]

WH: Yes-yes... b-but I thought that since these were built...

VVEE: Just goes to show that man will never do better than nature. Can we go to the gym, now? This one better not be another pigpen...

WH: I... I-I thought we could walk to the park across the street and see the Scout. I've never seen it myself an-

VVEE: What, some statue of an Indian on a horse?

WH: S-Sioux.

VVEE: It doesn't matter, Wallet. It's a boring statue. Besides, Vikings are better than Indians, everyone knows that. If Indians were that good, why did Americans kill them all?

WH: We d-didn't, and...

VVEE: Really? We've been in America for weeks, and we have yet to see a single solitary Indian.

WH: I think they prefer being called Nativ-

VVEE: See? You've riled me up. Are you happy now? Better take me to that new league of yours, I need to hurt someone. What is this one called?

[Now, Bill Houlder fidgets with additional vigor.]

WH: Uhh... The MBC.

VVEE: With the stupid thighmaster? I want no part of that league.

WH: It's another one, err... the Missouri B-Bat... Battle Championsh-ship.

VVEE: Nice try, Wallet. I'm not fighting in Ginger Slut's league.

WH: But there's a contract... you _have_ to, honey.

VVEE: After what she dared do at Angels and Amazons? No.

WH: W-well... honey, if she thr-ew you out, you did beat her longevity m-mark... Ss-See? Y-you beat her! D-doesn't that count for some.. something?

[She glares at her sugar-daddy.]

VVEE: There is nothing for me in the MBC. I hate the whole place from top to bottom. It is stupid and offensive. Besides, it's pretty obvious that Ginger Slut is sleeping with the boss. How are you going to rival with that?

WH: I... well... I don't- I don't think Kyle Lee and Tes-T-Tessle-la

VVEE: Ginger Slut! Enunciate, Wallet, enunciate! It's not that hard, her name is Ginger Slut.

WH: I don't think they're an item.

VVEE: Don't be daft, Wallet. She's a half Irish, half Russian redheaded Canadian Catholic. In other words, she's a half-drunk, half-drunk slutty slutty slut. I'd recognize that knowing look they gave each other anywhere.

WH: But I-I think she and-n Erik Gr-Grimss-

VVEE: Swedes don't count, they're included in the human race out of pity, not merit.

WH: But-

VVEE: The MBC does not deserve the Viking Vixen.

WH: B-but honey... that's not how this business works. It...

[His face is illuminated by an epiphany.]

WH: You'd be facing Tes-T-Tess... you'd be facing her pupil, Akeyla Ruiz.

VVEE: Yeah, well I don't know who that is.

WH: That's T-Tess... that's her student. You tossed her out during the Angels and Amazons rumble match...

VVEE: Oh yes... [She reminisces.] That was nice. So Ginger Slut is teaching her how to sleep her way to the top is she?

WH: No... wrestling.

VVEE: Yes, I'm sure that's how she calls it. That Ruiz girl is going to wish Ginger Slut had trained her to fight instead of spreading her legs, I'll make sure of that. You know how I love to teach a few things to the uninitiated...

[Worry clouds the portly little man's face.]

WH: But... don't be too rough about it, Eveline... You don't want to hurt yourself.

VVEE: Ppfff!

WH: We've seen so many girls get seriously hurt...

VVEE: I've told you before, those girls only injured themselves because they didn't know how to wrestle... But you've whet my appetite, Will. If anything happens, you have only yourself to blame.

[She pokes him forcefully in the chest with such force that the paunchy little fifty year old has to stumble backwards to regain his balance. In doing so, he steps over one of the water spouts, drenching himself in fountain water.

Meanwhile, the blond Viking Vixen's light white dress is still as dry as a mouthful of saltines, sadly enough.

However, we do get to ogle at the tall woman's derrière and legs as she walks away, though. Amateurs of that particular poison will certainly appreciate the sway of those hips.

Much better to look at than watching a soaked Bill Houlder waddling after her. Seriously, might as well mercifully fade out at this point.]

Pinhead: Dear God! She just filled up a Bingo card!

Skullhead: One of the Slush Bingo Cards?

Pinhead: She offended some groups that Slush hasn't gotten to yet.

Slush: I was going too... but I got busy.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: You're right Tinkle... maybe I should take on an apprentice...

Skullhead: Eveline Eriksen is certainly... uninhibited with her opinions.

Pinhead: And very dangerous in the ring. It should be pointed out that she's been blacklisted by numerous European wrestling federations. People tend to get hurt against her.

Slush: Conspiracy! The man is keeping her down!

Pinhead: Right. You latch on to that Slush.

Slush: I must crusade for my new protégé!

Skullhead: While Slush does that, let's hear from Eriksen's opponent for tonight.

[Cut to the backstage area where Tawni Northern stands before a regal MBC banner. Microphone in hand, she awaits the go ahead to conduct an interview with the newest member of the MBC roster.]

TN: Thanks guys. I'm here today with the latest addition to the MBC, Akeyla Ruiz.

[In steps Ruiz. She wears a black long sleeve shirt that bears a bit of midriff and baggy green pants. Her shiny black hair hangs over her shoulders and down her back. Her look is serious, not a trace of nervousness about her.]

TN: Akeyla, you've turned quite a few heads in Bastard Stampede and also at this year's recent Angels and Amazons. Are you prepared for the MBC?

AR: Definitely. This has been my goal for years and now that I'm here, I'm not nervous. No way I can be. I'm excited, more excited than I ever have been before.

TN: You're facing Eveline Eriksen tonight. She eliminated you at Angels and Amazons.

AR: She's impressive but not unbeatable. She's tall but not unmovable. She may have been the one to take me out at Angels and Amazons but it's a motivating factor.

TN: She doesn't seem to be too impressed with you.

AR: By the time this match is done, she will be. I've been trained by the best. Tesla St. James has run me so hard I bled. And it made me a better wrestler and the fact that Tesla and Eriksen nearly came to blows last show is great. I'm doing this one for ol' Teach.

TN: So you think you can get through to Eveline? Get in her head as it were?

AR: I think I can and maybe she'll think of something other than stealing that old guy's money. Maybe if I rough her up some, she won't be so pretty. That'd ruin her day for sure. I can guarantee, somebody is going to be walking out of that ring hurt.

[Akeyla gives one last look to the camera before walking off. Fade.]

______________________________________________________
/_ __/ __ )_ __/
/ / / __ |/ / AKEYLA RUIZ versus
/ / / /_/ // / "THE VIKING VIXEN" EVELINE ERIKSEN
/_/ /_____//_/
|____________________________________Writer: Kyle B. Lee


[Akeyla Ruiz was welcomed warmly even if the Kansas City crowd was relatively unfamiliar with the Bastard Stampede product. She seemed likeable really and did your typical hand shaking. She stopped just short of kissing babies however, there were no babies to be kissed. Why would anyone bring their baby to a MBC show? Okay, that's a bad question. We all know the various Simon O'Neal paternity suits of 2001. Suffice it to say, Ruiz hit the ring and waited. When "Pay For Me" by Whale started to play, the fans switched like a light to boo the gorgeous blonde that came down the aisle, which is unusual since MBC fans usually have no shame whatsoever. Eveline did not like being there and furthermore, did not like being forced into this match. Contract or not, she was going to take out all her frustration and anger on Ruiz.]

Skullhead: Akeyla Ruiz is one of Tesla St. James' best students. Unfortunately for Ruiz, Eriksen has taken a severe dislike to all things Tesla.

Pinhead: Was "Ginger Slut" your first clue?

Slush: Sounds like a sweet, sweet cookie of some sort.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Yeah, or hamster food.

[Not even waiting for the bell, Eriksen came on strong against Ruiz. The "Viking Vixen" was quick to back Ruiz to the corner and use her size advantage in order to completely dominate Akeyla. But the El Paso native was scrappy, and took her punches well. She managed to strike out and back Eriksen off. Ruiz struck fast and hard and sent Eveline to the corner. However, there would always be a moment where Eriksen would over power the smaller woman and continue to take out her aggression. When brawling simply wasn't enough to punish her opponent, Eveline unleashed a series of suplexes. First came a Northern Lights Suplex. And then came the Belly to Back suplex. Only after a delayed vertical suplex did Eveline first attempt a pin. Ruiz was quick to kickout and once Eriksen had her back to her feet, Ruiz swept out Eveline’s legs and went to work. What followed was a series of locks and takedowns that were the trademark of any student of Tesla St. James. Ruiz, however, added a little more impact to each impact, slowing the larger woman down.]

Skullhead: Looks like Ruiz is channeling her mentor a bit here. The moves are similar and quite possibly the temper.

Pinhead: No doubt that St. James prepped Ruiz to be prepared for anything. Eveline apparently isn't the type to prepare for her opponents, but her skills make up for that nicely.

Slush: If the redhead is Ginger Slut, what flavor is Ruiz?

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: I don't even think that flavor is legal!

[Despite Ruiz's continued onslaught, Eveline powered her way back to her feet, slowly regaining ground in the contest. Eveline's size again became a major factor and soon so did her strength. The "Viking Vixen" lifted Ruiz over her head into a Gorilla Press and tossed Ruiz over the top rope and straight to the arena floor. Ruiz landed awkwardly on her arm and did not move. The referee started to count but he soon could see that Ruiz was holding her arm in great pain. The referee moved to the outside to check on Akeyla and upon seeing her condition, decided to call the match. But Ruiz refused, instead opting to carry on the fight.]

Skullhead: Her arm could very well be broken.

Pinhead: She's holding that arm for dear life. Man, she's in obvious pain but she's going back into the ring.

Skullhead: Reminds me of President Lee's speech and crossing the line with injuries. It's not encouraged but for many, working hurt is badge of honor.

[Ruiz slid back into the ring and went right after Eveline. But Eriksen wasn't one to pass up opportunity, swiping at Ruiz's obviously injured arm. Eveline kept punching away until Ruiz could no longer hold onto her bad arm. Ruiz fought back with her good one, much to the crowd's pleasure, but Eriksen's damage had been done. The pain was so overwhelming for Ruiz that she couldn't muster any defense. And before the referee could get in to stop the match, Eveline hit Akeyla with her Viking Hammer. The pinfall was textbook.]

RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of this match by pinfall "THE VIKING VIXEN" EVELINE ERIKSEN!!!

Skullhead: A strong outing from both women but a very unfortunate ending for Akeyla Ruiz.

Pinhead: This is the sort of thing that got Eriksen banned in Europe. Her opponents would suspiciously get injured in much the same way.

Skullhead: So was this an accident?

Slush: You spread lies! My protégé is innocent!

Tinkle: MEEP!

Pinhead: About as innocent as she looks.

Slush: Exactly.

Pinhead: Exactly.

Slush and Pinhead: [In Unison] What do you mean "exactly"?

Skullhead: Eriksen has left while the paramedics attend to Ruiz and her arm. In the meantime, I'm told we have another preliminary wrestler audition.

Pinhead: Have they caught Bear Shaft yet?

Skullhead: We can only hope.

[Camera fade to the interior of a small auditorium. Near the front of the seats sits "Disgruntled Postal Worker" James Hardi, checking a clipboard while an older man in a suit stands nervously on the stage. The man in the suit seems a little... familiar, somehow. He adjusts his tie and clears his throat.]

Man: Hello, Mr. Hardi. My name is... [pause] Unimportant. Call me the CEO. I'm here on behalf of a new group of preliminary wrestlers who, I admit, aren't too experienced at this sort of thing... but who are very eager to get started. Mr. Hardi, can I introduce to you the members of the League of Extraordinary Economists and Corporate Honchos?

Hardi: On one condition. Your members are all human beings. No bears or other wild animals? I’d assume economists and honchos are all human.

CEO: More or less. First, let me introduce the two-man team of the Credit Crunch and the Masked Tax Evader.

["You're the Best Around" by Joe Esposito starts up as two guys storm out on stage, trying their best to look intimidating... but really they're just white collar guys in business-casual attire. The Masked Tax Evader is skinny as a string bean, and his "mask" is a full-head Richard Nixon deal from a costume store. The Credit Crunch is just a big fat guy in a shirt and slacks, with his tie tied up around his forehead like a bandana. "You're the Best Around" cuts off mid-chorus.]

CEO: Gentlemen, show Mr. Hardi what you've got.

[C.C. and the Masked Tax Evader face each other and circle. "You're the Best Around" starts up again, possibly louder than before. Both men hesitate and flinch just as the other looks ready to make a move, until, finally, the Masked Tax Evader swings... and punches Credit Crunch right in the ear. C.C. instantly collapses, and doesn't budge.]

CEO: Um. Yes. You see? Very powerful.

Hardi: Like Chrysler. Might I say, very technical as well. Do either of you have any formal wrestling training?

[The Masked Tax Evader bends down to poke at Credit Crunch, and "You're the Best Around" stops again. He looks up at Hardi, and shakes his head.]

CEO: Not as such, no. They just have some anger issues to work out. Just like our next wrestler... the Hummer.

[A tall, somewhat rough-looking young woman walks out, dressed.. well... dressed like a "woman of the night." A cheap one. The CEO starts sweating.]

CEO: Uh. Wrong Hummer.

[The wrong Hummer walks off the stage while the Masked Tax Evader drags the Credit Crunch off, and the "right" Hummer walks on -- a man covered in cardboard box "armor" meant to make him look, presumably, like a Transformer.]

The Hummer: YEAHHHH! Gonna H3 all over your FACE! You know who killed the electric car? It was ME!!!!

Hardi: I like the attitude. However, do you feel your gimmick will be valid after Hummer is sold off and fades away with the green revolution?

CEO: WE'RE NOT IN A RECESSION!

["You're the Best Around" starts up again, apparently at random. The CEO wipes his brow and straightens his tie. The Hummer, for his part, keeps stomping around the stage.]

The Hummer: No "we like the planet" fad is going to stop ME! Get up here and see what I'm made of, Hardi!

Hardi: Alright! That’s what I’m talking about. Someone who’s ready to make a statement! I like this guy!

[Hardi starts to take his dress shirt off]

Hardi: Wait. Union rules state both wrestlers must have at least the minimum insurance as requirement to participate in matches. You.. do have insurance don’t you?

[A longish pause as the CEO and the Hummer look at each other.]

CEO: I said good day.

[Both scurry off the stage and out of sight as You're the Best Around" starts playing again.]

Hardi: Ahhhhhhh! Now we get screwed, too. Man, those guys must be hard up for jobs. Well, the only one that really showed me anything was the Masked Tax Evader. Maybe he can evade his way around some insurance.

[Camera fades...]

Slush: Huh...

Pinhead: What?

Slush: I think that guy did my taxes.

Skullhead: No wonder you got audited.

Pinhead: I think Slush got audited pretty much on his own. He didn't need any help to be that stupid.

Slush: Pinhead is right... for once.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: I still don't see how you got all that money back. You don't even EARN that much.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: But if you eat your children, can you still write them off?

[The Unholy Trinity are cut off as Nine Inch Nails' "The Warning (Stefan Goodchild Mix)" thunders to life on the PA system. Seconds later the leaders of the Hand of Doom - Crimson, Kiora Donovan, Kathryn Ellison, Mr. Haliburton and Holly Hotbody - appear at the top of the ramp.

The crowd roars their disapproval of the HOD, but the "War Council" of leaders seems unaffected. The five of them circle the ring and Crimson, finally, pulls a wireless microphone from inside his suit jacket and speaks to the roaring crowd.]

Crimson: Shut up.

[The crowd pops again, but incredibly, they fall to relative silence seconds later.]

Crimson: You all had to be subjected to Kyle Lee's "state of the union" address, same as we did. And while there was a fair amount of bluster in there, ultimately I don't begrudge him the bully pulpit—it's his money and air time and he's welcome to do with it what he wants. The Hand of Doom knows better than most that the people in this league need a strong hand from time to time... it seems that except for us, the MBC is mostly made up of children throwing temper tantrums and smearing the walls with their own feces. They call this "being a bastard."

[Crimson shakes his head like a disappointed father.]

Crimson: On that note...

[Crimson turns and hands the microphone over to Holly Hotbody. Holly saunters forward a less than pleased expression on her face.]

Holly: Speaking of feces, I want to talk about my cousin, Jan.

[The crowd cheers the mention of Jan's name as Holly rolls her eyes.]

Holly: I'm sure you're back there now, enjoying yet another tainted victory, Jan. Please do, because it will be your last! From now on, I'm making sure that this gauntlet of mine is fair. So, next week will be your final match. But I am making assurances that it will be called down the middle. And who better to do that than me, as the special guest referee?

[Holly suddenly smirks, the crowd jeering.]

Holly: So, no more blind, incompetent refs, who couldn't officiate their way out of a paper bag. I just hope that you don't go out partying tonight and actually do some training. Because your final opponent will the lovely Kiora!

[Holly's smirk widens as she gestures to Kiora, handing the microphone off to Donovan. Kiora takes the mike, smiling at the boos of the crowd as she prepares to speak.]

Kiora: Thank you Holly. Now as much as it pained me to watch Jan Delgado leech off the talent and fame of my good friend Holly Hotbody, it hurt me even more to see Holly betrayed by Jan in favour of her no good cousins Leanna and Lolita.

[Naturally the crowd disagrees with Kiora's interpretation of events and a small bull[MEEP] chant starts.]

Kiora: It is bull[MEEP]! Holly took Jan under her wing, she brought her here to the MBC and showed her what it was like to be a champion! Why without Holly, Jan would still be a nobody languishing in FAWN. Yet she got to big for her britches and now she needs to be put in her place.

[Kiora smiles wickedly as the crowd roars it's disapproval.]

Kiora: And she's not the only one. Leanna still hasn't learned to respect the history of the MBC. Despite her claims to bastardry, she still seeks to eliminate all the things that made the MBC great in the first place and I cannot allow that. Clearly to protect the MBC from the malignant wishes of this cow, I'm going to have to resort to some possibly.....drastic measures.

[The wicked smile gets wider as the booing gets louder and more intense. Naturally, Kiora could care less about what the fans think.]

Kiora: First, I'm going to punish little miss Jan Delgado for betraying Holly. Then I'm going to make little Lolita Love watch as I end her sister's career, slowly and painfully. Then when I finally get my hands on Lolita herself....

[Kiora chuckles evilly as she glances at the New TMK.]

Kiora: Well I did promise Kathryn I'd get her a new toy.

[The crowd's horrified reaction seems to be music to Kiora's ears as she hands the mike over to Mister Haliburton. Mister Haliburton takes the microphone, holding one of the MBC Tag Titles over his shoulder.]

Mr. H: Many people in the MBC seem to like to laugh. Well, that's fine- the Hand of Doom enjoys a laugh as much as anyone. But we also enjoy other things. We enjoy winning. We enjoy the fact that we can swat away anyone in the league who gets in our way. And we enjoy the perks and privileges that come with being the best in the league.

[Mr. Haliburton taps the title on his shoulder]

Mr. H: These titles are not only a blank check to pay for our perks... they are also proof positive of the superiority of the Hand of Doom. There is no team in the MBC that can handle the Problem Solvers. Not these DNA rejects called the Chromosomes, not Fury, not Lights, Camera, Action. You are all welcome to try and unseat us. And you are all welcome to fail in your attempts.

[Mr. Haliburton hands the microphone back to Crimson. Crimson takes the microphone and smiles flatly at the entrance ramp.]

Crimson: Speaking of failures... Erik Grimsson.

[The crowd pops in boos -- against Crimson, in support of Erik.]

Crimson: I'm not done with you yet, Erik. None of us are. But you know... the Hand of Doom is a busy organization. And I'm a busy guy. So to make sure you get the level of harassment and injury you need, I'm going to set a bounty.

[Crimson paces around the ring, looking out at the roaring crowd.]

Crimson: Anyone in this league who wants to take a crack at Erik.. be you HOD wrestler, non-HOD, or just an employee of the MBC -- announcers right on down to the roadies who pack up the stage -- feel free. Harass him, attack him, set the contents of his locker on fire -- if you can think of it and it can be done on arena grounds during a show, then you do it.

[Crimson pauses in his pacing.]

Crimson: Consider it a personal favor to me. Whoever does the best work, well... I help out people who help me out. There's just one condition.

[Crimson holds up a finger.]

Crimson: Don't injure Erik... at least not enough that he can't wrestle anymore. Because before all this is done, i want to take a crack at him. Personally. Beyond that, do what you like.

Crimson: Happy hunting, MBC.

["The Warning" starts up again as the "War Council" of the HOD slides out of the ring and walks up the ramp... all except for Crimson, who walks purposefully toward the commentating table as he tucks his microphone away.]

Pinhead: I think he's coming over--

Slush: aHHHHH!

[Slush's scream drowns out any other sound, and with good reason: Crimson has twisted his arm up behind his back and, casually, tossed Slush aside. Crimson unbuttons his suit jacket and sits in Slush's seat.]

Crimson: Gentlemen.

Skullhead: Crimson.

Pinhead: What are you doing here?

Slush: He's begging for an ass-ahhhHHHHH okay okay mercy!

[Crimson lets Slush's arm go, and Slush resigns himself to sitting on the floor next to him. Only the top of his head peeks up over the table's edge.]

Crimson: I'm here to take an up close and personal assessment of Erik Grimsson. See how he operates under a certain kind of... pressure.

Skullhead: And to see if Brawn Stevenson can cash in the bounty?

Crimson: A pleasant byproduct.

Skullhead: I'm sure.

Slush: Can I have my seat back?

Pinhead: Don't be rude to our guest Slush.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Traitors. All of you.

[Slush pulls out a bag from nowhere, and from it he pulls out a small collapsible table. When we say small, we're talking the "kiddie" table at Thanksgiving dinner. Slush continues to dig through his bag. Seemingly, there is something he can't find.]

Pinhead: Lose your crayons?

[A pause and a pout from Slush.]

Slush: Yes.

Skullhead: This isn't the first time that Erik Grimsson has been on the Hand of Doom's radar. In the same night that the Hand reformed, Grimsson faced off Holly and Stevenson in a tag match. I realize that Kathryn Elyson specifically targeted Erik but did Holly have any say on this?

Crimson: Her stake in this wasn't unknown to me. It was Kathryn's request that got this particular ball rolling, but there are a lot of motives at work here. Chiefly, shaking the dust off both myself and the Hand of Doom by targeting one deplorable little "good guy" and grinding him down into fine dust. It isn't personal for me, but if other HOD members benefit, all the better.

Slush; You know what would be cool? If you did that to Tom Landis.

Crimson: I can't hear it when children talk.

Slush: [MEEP]ing wrestlers. Think their all hot [MEEP]

Pinhead: I don't suppose you could do guest commentary more often could you?

______________________________________________________
/_ __/ __ )_ __/
/ / / __ |/ / BRAWN STEVENSON versus
/ / / /_/ // / "HEAVY METAL HERO" ERIK GRIMSSON
/_/ /_____//_/
|____________________________________Writer: Kyle B. Lee


["Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses began to play over the PA system, signaling the entrance of one Brawn Stevenson. The monstrous man, often called a "mountain of muscle" was certainly imposing and certainly hated by the fans in attendance. Such was the mark of the Hand of Doom. You were to be feared and hated, and if you weren't, you simply were not cut out for HoD. Stevenson gave a nod to Crimson and waited for his opponent.]

Skullhead: Brawn Stevenson very much has a presence about him. What does he bring to table for the Hand of Doom?

Pinhead: Besides Holly's shoes.

Crimson: At the moment, some much-needed muscle. Tonight I'll see if he has anything else to offer.

[Cumin' Atcha Live" by Tesla (strangely enough) then began to play over the PA system. The fans went wild for the promise of the "Heavy Metal Hero". However, it was a promise unfulfilled. The music continued to play but there was no Erik Grimsson.]

Pinhead: Where the hell is he? He delayed?

Skullhead: Backstage is telling me they're not seeing him.

Pinhead: Did you have something to do with this?

Crimson: No, nothing. I have every intention of letting Erik fail on his own terms.

Skullhead: It could very well be that somebody already acted on your bounty.

Slush: Or the [MEEP] ran away!

Crimson: Either way, I want some confirmation.

[With no Erik Grimsson to be found, Brawn Stevenson leaned on the ropes waiting. Finally, the referee started a ten count, deciding to not wait any longer. The official went as long as he could but there was no "Heavy Metal Hero" to be seen. His music stopped and there, so did the match.]

RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match by forfeit... BRAWN STEVENSON!

Crimson: Disappointing, to say the least.

Skullhead: Highly unusual for one of our wrestlers to not show up like this.

Pinhead: I'm sure Haliburton has a betting line up already.

Slush: Can I have my seat back?

Pinhead: Preferably not.

Crimson: I'll leave that to the three of you. Good evening, gentlemen.

[With that, Crimson stands and walks back to the ramp, brushing past and knocking down Slush as he goes.]

Slush: [MEEP]er!

Pinhead: Hopefully Erik Grimsson is okay. I know these are desperate economic times but I can't image anybody being desperate enough to take out Erik here in the MBC for that bounty.

Skullhead: If we find out anything, we'll definitely let you know ladies and gentlemen. Now, before we move on to prepare for our main event, I'm told we have another segment from B.O.B. Club.

Slush: Angry Panda will be avenged!

[Camera cut to a close shot of Kiora Donovan, on the phone. There's a rumble of an engine nearby, and in the corner of the frame we can see the edge of a car window -- so she's definitely moving, but not driving.]

Kiora: Well the first match didn't last terribly long, Crimson. Turns out Kobo is some sort of weird idiot savant or something. He just sort of went blank for a few seconds then when the match started, he beat Pez and Stud Monkey senseless within a couple of minutes. After the match was over he didn't even remember anything happening at all.

[Kiora pauses as she listens to a response from Crimson, then resumes speaking.]

Kiora: The second match is still in progress. Suprema defeated Church quickly enough, but Dead Boy had a rather interesting interpretation of Falls Count Anywhere.

[The camera pulls around and sits itself between Kiora and the driver of the big rig, Johanna Suprema. In front of them, desperately trying to stay ahead, appears to be Dead Boy Jones on a moped.]

Kiora: Yeah Suprema and I are chasing him now. He tried to flee the area on a moped, so we gave chase in a big rig. I think we have audio on his helmet mic. Camera guy?

[With a quick crackle of static, we hear Dead Boy's terrified voice.]

Dead Boy: --MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY—

[And back to Kiora, who's looking rather disgusted by Dead Boy Jones' display of cowardice. Clearly she belives he ought to stand fast and take his whupping like a man.]

Kiora: Yeah he's been going on like that for several minutes apparently. Ever since Suprema started chasing him in the big rig, it's his own fault really. If he'd just stood his ground and took it like a bastard she'd never have gotten into the big rig in the first place.

[Kiora glances over at Suprema for a moment.]

Kiora: You sure this thing can't go any faster Johanna? The hammer's down as far as it will go?

Johanna: Just... a bit... more... Hey, where's he going?!

[The camera whips from Johanna to the windshield, just in time to catch Dead Boy veering off the road and into a ditch. He stands and starts moving almost immediately, but is too dazed to muster up much more than a shamble.]

Johanna: OH NO YOU DON'T!

[Johanna brings the big rig to a screeching halt and, as soon as the thing has stopped moving, she bolts out the door after Dead Boy. The door swings in her wake. Caught by surprise, Kiora leans out the door to watch the action.]

Kiora: Oh she's got him, running neckbreaker drop right in the dirt! Oh he should not have run, he's just pissed off Suprema something fierce. She's kicking him in the balls now.

[Kiora pauses to count off the number of groin shots Dead Boy Jones is recieving. Unfortunately as he's still in the cab, the camera guy

can't get a good angle on the action though Dead Boy Jones' screams of agony are quite audible as is the sound of a passerby chanting OH MY GROIN.]

Kiora: That's about, I'd say a dozen stomps to his groin. She could probably get a submission here if she wanted one but she's still mad at having to chase Jones....double stomp to the gut! Absolutely vicious kick to the head and now....gourdbuster! Looks like I have to get out of the cab to count the pin. I'll call you back later Crimson.

[Hanging up the phone, Kiora scrambles out of the cab as the camera fades to black.]

Skullhead: I don't even know where to start.

Slush: Don't talk about B.O.B. Club!

Pinhead: I'd almost prefer not to. We'd only end up owing Mountain Dew money for use of their brand.

Slush: I hear Harley Sanders drives a mountain dew truck.

Pinhead: You hear a lot of things.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Pinhead: Including hamster voices.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Why are you looking at me? The man has a point!
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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[The crowd pops as "Hellraiser" hits the PA system and soon everyone not named Slush is on their feet as Tom Landis makes his way from the back dressed in street clothes.]

Skullhead: Here comes the reigning World Champion, for reasons currently unknown.

Pinhead: Maybe it's to break Slush again.

Slush: No special dictionary this week, as long as he doesn't try to talk to me.

[Landis climbs into to the ring, taking the house mic from Shawni.]

TL: You know, they say it's a little lonely at the top. Ever since I took Angel's most prized accessory away from him, it just hasn't been the same. No boastful comments. No thinly veiled threats of gang violence. No Angel period, really. And while I can't say I haven't enjoyed it, it doesn't seem like anybody else really wants to go after this either. [holds up belt]

I swear folks, I soaked it in disinfectant for hours after I got it away from Amity. You won't catch anything from it.

Slush: Except that flesh eating Landis strain of bacteria.

Pinhead: I'm going to regret asking, but what?

Slush: Your skin doesn't so much get eaten off your body as it just tries to crawl off and get away from you.

TL: Jerry Titus is the 2X4 champion, and as such he's got a shot at the title upcoming. But after what I saw him and Stan Crawford do to one another last week, I'm not convinced he's going to make it to that match. I hope you do, Jer, but c'mon... ease up just a bit. Winning the death cycle isn't going to mean much if you somehow do it posthumously.

So my point is simple. Somebody step up. Please.

[The crowd buzzes in anticipation as they wait eagerly for someone to answer the champion's call. And after a heartbeat or two, both Landis and the Kansas City audience get a response...

...



...



...as Rush's "Force Ten" starts up on the loudspeakers. Pop!]

Skullhead: This is certainly an unexpected arrival!

Slush: YES! My woman will prove yet again that she has bigger balls than any Landis! Metaphorically, at least. I've seen her naked, you know!

Pinhead: A fact that one day will come to bite you back on the ass, we all hope.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: What do you mean, "tucking"?

[As Taylor MacKenzie makes her way down the aisle, a mic can been seen in one hand. The MBC Grandmaster Typo Champion's eyes narrow darkly at Slush only for a moment before focusing back on the ring and Tom Landis. She deftly pulls herself up through the ropes, then looks the MBC World Champion right in the eyes.]

Taylor: All right, Tom...you wanted a challenge. [She grins.] Well then, how about me?

[POP! Landis looks at the GMT champion with a twinkle in his eye, and maybe, just maybe a little bit of a bemused expression on his face. He looks over at Slush momentarily...]

TL: Wow, this must be heaven and hell for you all wrapped into one.

[...and turns back to look at MacKenzie.]

TL: I appreciate your competitive spirit Miss MacKenzie, but are you sure you aren't confusing me with another member of my family? I've been told Brianna and I look similar, but not for about fifteen years now.

This really isn't the place for you.

[At that, the grin suddenly fades, only to be replaced by a look of sheer determination on Taylor's face.]

Taylor: You didn't just say that, did you? Let me remind you that your wife once made the mistake of underestimating me. Your sister underestimated me and had to be content with a booby prize for losing to me at Angels & Amazons! Do you REALLY want to be the third one in your family to do that?!

[A beat.]

Taylor: You asked for a challenge, Tom. You're the one claiming you're better than One Winged Angel. So don't you DARE back away from this -- from _me_ -- now!

[Landis scratches his chin.]

TL: Taylor, if I were no better than Angel I'd have put my arm around your shoulder and tried to look down your top already. The fact is, you've already proven yourself as a great competitor by winning the title you have over your shoulder. It's one of very few belts I haven't won myself here in MBC, you should be proud of that accomplishment. I'm just not sure...

["Advent: One-Winged Angel (ACC Version)" by Nobuo Uematsu cuts off the conversation as former World Champion One-Winged Angel emerges from behind the curtain. He's wearing an Amity t-shirt, black gloves and jeans, sneakers and an expression that's half-annoyance and half amusement. As always, his silver black rose cane in tow as well as a wireless microphone.]

Skullhead: One had to expect the Amity leader to come and try to steal the spotlight when the rest of us are trying to move on.

Slush: He's not stealing anything. They summoned him.

Pinhead: What?

Slush: He's the MBC's Biggie Smalls. They called his named three times and he comes.

[Entering the ring, the self-proclaimed "Bastard Legend" takes a moment at Landis and then Taylor before a piecing glare turns into a slight smirk. He then, signals with his cane for his music to be cut.]

Pinhead: Being he's the last surviving member of Amity tonight, I have to say I'm surprised he can muster that arrogant smirk of his.

Skullhead: You'd be amazed at what an ego that big is capable of withstanding.

1WA: Taylor, this probably isn't the night to have me in your mouth. For one, I already have a girlfriend. One that's infinitely more qualified than you to come out here and be spouting your bull[MEEP]. But she's too nice to call your on your crap. It's what I like about Lolita. I don't have beef with you, however, I don't have the respect for you she has to get in the way calling your [MEEP]. So before you make the mistake again of wrecklessly taking my name in vain let me make something perfectly clear.

[1WA motions for Taylor to come closer and listen closely.]

1WA: You have one title here to your credit. The one you wear. One I outgrew eight years ago. As many titles as Slush has to his credit. Which happens to be more than what your little masked Romeo has threatening my "pops" and invoking me in the process. You two should prove you can handle Slush before disrespecting a two-time World Champion, one that can't win a title without government assistance, but a World Champion no less. One that has dealt with Slush. And gotten his ass kicked by Slush.

[Angel chuckles slightly., drawing more of the collective ires of the two champions. And he now turns to Landis.]

1WA: Say what you want about my "staining" that title. I've stained it a lot less than you have in your career. It's bad enough, I got called in from being elsewhere promoting this ungrateful P.O.S. company by
Skullhead's little blow-up doll for a match I was unprepared for. But that's fine. End of the day, it was a straight up one-on-one match. I lost. End of story.

But remember the first one. You know the one where Crimson was handling your ass? Where it took an army to get you a win? You know, the Harlequins? The Fraternity Boys and a Russian tank blasting Crimson with river of vodka? Oh yeah, and ME.

And remember it wasn't Amity's "gang-violence" that stained the Bastard Dozens potential classic with Stan Crawford. You know the one with the guy that's on my level? The one YOU came in with your airbag of a wife and ruined?

[1WA takes a moment and just smirks at Landis whom seems to not approve of this account of MBC history.]

1WA: You see, I don't have to talk about what I am to this company. Buyrates, ratings, merchandise sales. The evidence speaks for itself. In the meantime "Mr. UWF" can't even get a contract back in the UWF where I steal the show whenever the hell I please. You are nothing but a shell of a once decent, respectable wrestler.

If you want to know why I've been low-key. It's simple. I'm tired of being everyone's free meal. And everyday I stay out of the spotlight and not play face of this organization, the more it falls apart. Every show, we get kicked out of another city. And while you continue you destroy yourselves, those of us that were built for this will pick the pieces.

[1WA glances back over to Taylor before looking back at Landis.]

1WA: Besides, I don't need to talk myself up to get a shot at that title. So you can put in your head you can start playing down to like of this chick, or a Titus or anyone else on the roster all you want. Two words alone makes me your problem until I say I'm done with you.

"Rematch clause."

[With those two words, 1WA just backs up and relaxes against the ring rope with that ever-present smirk on his face. Tom, who's mood just bottomed out with this latest development, turns to Angel.]

TL: Hey Angel, at least this chick has the decency to come face to face down to the ring and ask for a shot instead of playing fast and loose with the rules. Invoking your rematch clause? No problems there, I took care of you once and I'd be happy to do it again just to stop you from boring the hell out of the fans with your version of past history.

[Landis turns to the first person to take him up on his offer, nodding at Taylor.]

Taylor, you may want to head on out now. Things might get ugly real fast, especially since I don't see his goons beside him which probably means they're in the crowd somewhere about to jump me.

[The Angel rolls his eyes at Landis and lifts the mic to his face, never leaving his nonchalant stance on the ring ropes.]

1WA: If I wanted Amity to take you two chumps out, it would have been done before you had a chance to think it. You see, I don't give "thinly veiled threats" of gang violence. When Amity moves, we move. The foot on your neck IS the warning.

But apparently, you didn't make Lee's "I Am Jesus meeting." The one where that jackhole indefinitely rid you of that problem? A decision my lawyers will make certain costs this company more money than Detroit could imagine.

I didn't need Amity to take that title off Crimson. I took him down in that Ballbreaker Cage in true MBC style. No tanks, no Frats. Just skill. Like a Landis, you'll flinch and take yourself out the game. Kinda like your wife.

[He turns to MacKenzie as the crowd boos the cheapshot at Tara Marshall.]

1WA: Don't worry, Taylor. Well, worry. You've got problems. Of which I'm the least.

Taylor: [glaring] Big words, Angel. But I will give you credit -- you _are_ the least thing here right now.

[Pop!]

Taylor: The Omen doesn't need me to fight his battles for him, but rest assured if you stand in the way of what THAT-- [She jabs a finger towards Slush] -- delusional degenerate is gonna get, then I don't need to make a prediction of what's gonna happen to you!

Slush: It always takes a while for stepmothers and stepsons to warm up to each other...*sniff*

Tinkle: MEEP!

Skullhead: Oh lord...

Slush: There's no need for Taylor and Angel to fight! All I'm saying is that there's a Landis RIGHT THERE that my son and my lover can exterminate! It's the perfect bonding experience! DAMN YOU, TOM LANDIS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Taylor: And as for you... [MacKenzie turns to Landis] ...this "chick" isn't interested in you playing a hero. I'm not gonna back away from a thug like Angel just because you think things are gonna get rough. But what I want to know is...are YOU going to back away from ME?

[Tom looks at Taylor, his expression changing to a mild shock at the conversation having taken this kind of turn. After a few seconds, he steels himself once again and turns towards the GMT champion standing before him.]

TL: Alright Taylor, since it looks like you've got a desire to trade up to the big boy championship... excuse me, to the big person championship... then I'm game. Just keep in mind the last time you faced a Landis, you thought you'd won only to lose a little piece of yourself. And this one's for real.

[Thumbs in the direction of Angel.]

I think I know where this is going. But don't expect any favors against him. Each one of us is a hostile nation in between these ropes, and this is all-out world war.

Slush: And I'm just Taylor's POW of love.

[With nothing else to be said "Hellraiser" begins to play again. The three wrestlers look at one another before filing out of the ring one at a time.]

Slush: My mind is BLOWN!

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: BLOWN!

Pinhead: MacKenzie, Landis and Angel all together for a match? That's a hell of a matchup.

Slush; My lover, my enemy, my son!

Pinhead: How do you get this kind of influence?

Slush: My milkshake brings the ratings to the yard.

Skullhead: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting word from backstage...

Pinhead: Somebody fighting?

Skullhead: No, this match has been made official.

Slush: YES!

Skullhead: Not only that, it will be at SplatterNad 2009!

Pinhead: Tom Landis defending the MBC World Heavyweight Championship against Taylor MacKenzie and the One-Winged Angel. I'll be damned.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Tinkle's right. You're pretty much damned as is.

Pinhead: Sitting here, I'm already in hell.

Slush: That's right... wait...

[Cut to the back of the arena... well, an arena at least. The caption reads “May 19th, 2009”, so presumably this is footage from the last Detroit show. Max Benson is sitting in a locker room playing DS when he is interrupted by his current rival, "Hentai" Ryu Osawa, walking into the room.]

MB: Crap, there’s a camera here! Quick, I need to think up a gimmick...

RO: Oh no you don’t. You and me need to work out this title shot business now. Who’s going to get first crack at Taylor?

MB: Jeez, you phrase things like that and you wonder why that Omen dude misunderstands.

[Max Benson strokes his chin in thought. He looks down at his Gameboy.]

MB: I’ve got it! How about... a contest of skill?

RO: What kind of skill?

MB: Dancing.

[We cut to... a MONTAGE! Set to "You’re the Best" by Joe Eposito, AKA the Karate Kid theme. First we see Max Benson and Ryu Osawa facing off on a DDR machine. They both move their feet furiously in what might from a distance look like dancing. Benson looks at the screen and sees that Osawa is winning, so he decides to attempt the rare flip-step over. He succeeds, but unfortunately kicks out the machine’s screen in the process. Cut to Osawa and Benson dashing from the arcade, chased by its angry owner.]

# Try to be best
# ‘Cause you’re only a man
# And a man’s gotta learn to take it

# Try to believe
# Though the going gets rough
# That you gotta hang tough to make it

[Benson and Osawa face off in rock-paper-scissors. They both choose rock. Then they both chooses scissors. Cut to six hours later. They both choose paper. Rock again. Both then go the dynamite route.]

# History repeats itself
# Try and you’ll succeed

# Never doubt that you’re the one
# And you can have your dreams!

[Benson and Osawa are now squaring off in one-on-one street basketball. Benson has the ball and is dribbling back and forth. Both wrestlers move back and forth trying to psyche the other one out. Just as it looks like something might happen, a group of kids who can’t be older than eight walk up, one of them holding a basketball. They briefly argue with Max and Ryu, probably about who gets to use the court, and then the children rush our heroes and beat them up.]

# You’re the best!
# Around!
# Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
# You’re the Best!
# Around!
# Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
# You’re the Best!
# Around!
# Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own

[Standing on the street corner and noticably bruised, the two contenders settle on just flipping a coin. When they do so, a bum snatches it out of the air and runs away. Cut to Ryu and Max in a darkened bedroom, consulting a ouija board. Much to their dismay, the pointer moves of its own accord to spell out "TRICE".]

# Fight ‘til the end
# Cause your life will depend
# On the strength that you have inside you

# Ah you gotta be proud
# starin’ out in the cloud
# When the odds in the game defy you

[Max Benson and Ryu Osawa are on a special celebrity edition of Jeopardy! Except it’s the end of the show, and both have a score of -$6000. Outside, Alex Trebek is impounding Ryu’s car.]

# Try your best to win them all
# and one day time will tell
# when you’re the one that’s standing there
# you’ll reach the final bell!

# You’re the best!
# Around!
# Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
# You’re the Best!
# Around!
# Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
# You’re the Best!
# Around!
# Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ho-how-ho-own

[Cut to... Camp David? Sure. Ryu and Max stare each other down from across the table, angry and bitter. But there’s no one else there. Confused, the two get up and walk over to the parking lot, where mediator Jimmy Carter is down on the ground being kicked at by Vengeance. The Icon of HATE~ runs off grinning gleefully.]

[INSPIRING GUITAR SOLO!]

[As the super-inspiring guitar solo fades out (there are like five more choruses but whatever), we find Max Benson and Ryu Osawa laying in this show’s backstage area, exhausted and surrounded by draws. Drawn tic-tac-toe games, stalemated chess boards, and wishbones split evenly down the middle are some of the things that clutter this locker room.]

RO: Okay, so what’s next on the list.

[Max Benson sits up and flips to the back page of a spiral-bound notebook.]

MB: Last one. "Wrestling match at Splatternad."

RO: Sounds good to me.

[fin.]

Slush: Damn I hate you Pinhead!

Pinhead: What the hell did I do?

[Pause]

Pinhead: This time. Supposadly.

Slush: For giving me crap at 2X4 for breaking out "Eye of the Tiger" and here we are with not one, but TWO references to that damn Karate Kid song!

Pinhead: And you hate me for it?

Slush: All my problems one way or the other can be blamed on you!

Pinhead: That's wonderful to know.

Skullhead: And we also now know that Ryu Osawa and Max Benson will settle things once and for all at SplatterNad. The winner gets first crack at Taylor MacKenzie's Grandmaster Typo Championship. The loser... gets a crack at it later.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Whatever! The day you do the crane kick is the day I eat a hat.

[THIRTY SECONDS LATER]

Slush: Somebody better get my ketchup for this damn hat.

[Cut to the backstage area where MBC crew members are going about their usual routine. You know, being window dressing for these segments. Amidst all this comes a woman in blue jeans and a tight red T-shirt. A frantic look on her face, "Superfly" Susan Davis is obviously in search of somebody. She stops the first person she comes across.]

SSD: Excuse me, have you seen Erik Grimsson?

Crew Member: Sure haven't.

SSD: Thanks.

[Disappointed, Susan moves on. Each successive crew members shakes their head as no one has seen any trace of Erik Grimsson. Perhaps the Hand of Doom did get to him and maybe that's why Susan Davis is looking so hard for him. She turns a corner down an empty hall... however, it's not so empty.]

Kathryn Elyson: Still looking for your hero dear Susan?

[Standing in the hall and leaning against the wall is Susan's former mentor Kathryn Elyson. She is dressed head to toe in red leather and has her hair pulled into a tight braid. She looks at Susan like a hunter looks at its prey and licks her lips.]

KE: Many have looked but your poor boy is nowhere to be found.

[Susan says nothing, only standing still and watching her old teacher as she pushes off the wall.]

KE: Maybe he was smart and left once the bounty was announced.

[Kathryn inches closer and brushes by Susan. Elyson walks behind her former student and leans into her ear.]

KE: But I checked with security. He didn't even bother to shop up to the arena. Is it possible he's clueless about the bounty?

[Kathryn grins before laughing. Susan cringes at the sound.]

KE: I know the pangs of jealousy have pierced the naive heart of yours dear Susan. The Benedict woman took him from you didn't she? And you've become so soft you can't stomach the pain. You won't even try to get him back. Because it makes him happy?

[Elyson walks back around to face Susan directly.]

KE: I know I taught you better than that Susan. You've lost your way. As I have said now for months.

[Kathryn shifts from one side to the other, creaking in her leather.]

KE: And here you are, wounded emotionally and at my mercy with your "Heavy Metal Hero" nowhere to be found. Erik is as clueless as he is cowardly.

[Susan's anger is growing but she keeps it contained as Kathryn's own expression is increasingly serious.]

KE: There is still space beneath my wing my dear. You can become better than you were before. Take your place next to me where you belong and I can unlock the secrets of the Core that you could only dream about.

[Susan prepares to respond but Kathryn puts a gloved finger to her lips.]

KE: Don't answer now. Find your scarecrow, Dorothy. Then you may come to see the wizard.

[Kathryn flashes one more smile before walking away. Susan takes a moment to herself and finally shivers. With Kathryn gone, Susan turns back around to where she came. Where there was once crew members, there is now The Omen.]

The Omen: I know what you're planning Susan.

SSD: I wish people would not sneak up on me.

[Susan brushes her hair back and walks past The Omen. Standing still, he speaks to her, giving Susan a moment's pause.]

The Omen: In confronting what you fear most, you will gain your freedom. But the sacrifice will be great.

[Susan says nothing but lingers a moment. Then she and The Omen go their separate ways. Fade.]

Pinhead: Did we just get another prediction from The Omen?

Slush: Damnit!

Skullhead: You know what that means!

Pinhead: Time to review everybody's favorite prophecy!

Skullhead: "Your son will be your downfall."

Slush: I really cannot express how much I hate you two right now.

Pinhead: You're saying you're speechless?

Slush: Not speechless. I've got plenty of speech. But there are not enough words in the English language that would properly convey my hate and disgust for you both.

Pinhead: I've got a warm fuzzy all the sudden.

[At this point, two men come walking down the aisle and to the ring. They are immediately recognized by the commentary team.]

Skullhead: It's Bartholomew Prevert and Les Ewich, the leaders of the referee's union!

Slush: RUTABEGA!

Pinhead: Are they going to be the referees for the main event?

Skullhead: If so, that could potentially give an advantage to the Chromosomes.

Slush: What would MBC be without wrestlers looking for potential advantages?

Tinkle: MEEP!

[Prevert and Ewich enter the ring and approach the referee, Jim Daniels, who is already in the ring.]

BP: Relax, my friend. We understand you have a job to do.

[He takes a business card, though, and slides it into Daniels' pocket.]

BP: You know we are only here to ensure that you do your job faithfully, but more importantly, to do your job effectively. And one thing that we have noticed in the past few weeks is how many tag teams ignore the five count that is supposed to be issued when two members are in the ring at the same time.

LE: One notable team was Lights, Camera, Action, who shall be dealt with at the proper time. But tonight, we have another offender of that rule... The Problem Solvers.

BP: But as it turns out, we have found a way to solve that problem in particular... for we have noticed that the MBC rings have not been of the finest quality since the company has been forced to leave Texas. One can only surmise that costs had to be cut back in other areas because of the increased money spent on travel.

LE: Regardless of the reasons, Mr. Daniels, it is up to you to not only enforce that five count rule, but also to ensure the safety of participants of the matches that take place... and seeing as how this is the only tag team match of the night, it is extremely important you enforce another rule.

BP: And that rule, as devised by the Referees Union Taking Action Before Everyone Gets Ahead, is as follows: At no time shall any one team have more than 500 pounds combined weight in the ring at once. It is extremely important the rule be enforced for the well being of the wrestlers in tonight's tag team title defense.

LE: [patting the pocket in which Barth stuck the card] And remember, our services are available to better serve you, Mr. Daniels, and all you need do is ask... particularly if it is in the best interest of the individuals who are supposed to be in charge of enforcing proper rules.

[With that, the two leaders of RUTABEGA depart the ring and head back up the aisle.]

Pinhead: A 500 pound limit?

Skullhead: Doing the match, the Chromosomes are a combined 410 pounds where as the Problem Solvers are 610 pounds. Odds are obviously in the favor of the Chromosomes with this little tidbit.

Slush: You think the ring could collapse?

Pinhead: It's happened before...

Slush: IT COULD KILL US ALL!

Pinhead: Theoretically, anything could kill you.

Slush: You mean... my chair could kill me?

Pinhead: With enough velocity...

Slush: NOOOOOO!

Tinkle: MEEP!

Skullhead: I find it hard to believe he reacts this way to the lamest of things.

Pinhead: Anybody who writes horror movies should never be allowed to use the term "experiment in terror" until they sit in my chair and converse with this man.

Slush: My skin... it could kill me?

______________________________________________________
/_ __/ __ )_ __/ TEAM BASTARD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
/ / / __ |/ / THE PROBLEM SOLVERS © versus
/ / / /_/ // / THE CHROMOSOMES
/_/ /_____//_/
|____________________________________Writer: Kyle B. Lee


["Games Without Frontiers" was the first entrance to play, signaling the arrival of X and Y, the Chromosomes. Fans were still torn on the two masked wrestlers. Some cheered for their brash approach to bringing chaos to the MBC while others booed for the very same thing. But the two mysterious combatants were unmoved by either side, focusing solely on the ring. They slid under the bottom rope in unison and seemingly stared at referee Jim Daniels. Daniels felt somewhat uncomfortable by this and gladly looked away while waiting for the arrival of the reigning Team Bastard Champions. The Problem Solvers came down quick enough and upon entering the ring, they were quickly told of the 500 pound limit. Daniels wasted no time in pushing Muldoon to the outside of the ring so the weight limit could be preserved.]

Skullhead: This 500 pound limit seems fairly ridiculous but I doubt the referee would really be enforcing it if there wasn't some sort of truth to the rule.

Pinhead: And with the MBC traveling so much, you can't take the risk. It's all on Jim Daniels to enforce the criteria in place.

Slush: So did you bet that Haliburton already has a contingency plan in place?

Pinhead: When the hell would I have the time?

Slush: I don't know... maybe when I was at the kiddie table.

Pinhead: You couldn't see me from there?

Slush: The kiddie table is its own pocket dimension. Perception is different.

Pinhead: I don't see this conversation going anywhere good.

[Not being ones to flaunt their freedom, the Chromosomes quickly decided who would take the lead in the match. Chromosome Y started out first and locked up with Pete Davidson. The Problem Solver was extremely aggressive but Y's size provided some cushion to his assault. The two locked up in order to out power one another and this saw Y eventually taking over given his girth. Dan Muldoon quickly tried to come in but Jim Daniels was quick to enforce the 500 pound limit. While the referee pushed Muldoon back out, Chromosome X inserted himself into the match, going to work with the double team on Davidson. The referee turned his attention back to the action and made sure to enforce the five count. The Chromosomes complied without any trouble as X left the ring at a count of 3 and a half. The match would carry on in similar fashion no matter who came in for the Problem Solvers. The 500 pound limit was strictly enforced and the Problem Solvers were much more vocal about it being bull [MEEP] than the Chromosomes were about the enforced five count.]

Skullhead: Daniels is getting a hell of a work out here. Both teams are really wanting to stretch the rules here.

Pinhead: And that seems to be working out more in the favor of the Chromosomes here. Every time X and Y try and help one another out, the Problem Solvers are quickly forced out. The champs can't get a good double team maneuver off to save their lives.

Skullhead: While the Chromosomes are so quick, they're rattling them off one after another.

Slush: Have you ever wondered what the Chromosomes have to hide?

Pinhead: Not particularly.

Slush: Oh I have.

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: Good to see you on board friend for life. What is your theory?

Tinkle: MEEP!

Slush: I don't think pez muling... well... if you think about it...

[Biding his time, Mister Haliburton finally inserted himself into the match. By distracting the referee with a good cane rattling, Muldoon and Davidson could finally both be in the ring and double team their opponents. In these situations, the target was primarily the bigger Chromosome Y but they had no qualms in going to town on X. Jim Daniels wasn't a dumb man however. He would get right back to his job and the 500 pound rule would again be strictly enforced. But the damage was done in most cases, leaving either Problem Solver in full command of the match. Though this scenario worked often, it was quickly wearing on the nerves of Muldoon, Davidson and Haliburton. But that may have been the plan of the Chromosomes all along.]

Skullhead: Haliburton is walking a thin line here. If he keeps distracting the referee, he just could be ejected.

Pinhead: Oh Haliburton knows what he's doing. He wouldn't be doing it if he didn't.

Slush: You sound like you admire the man?

Pinhead: It's a healthy respect.

Skullhead: For Haliburton?

Pinhead: For my kneecaps.

[The double teams continued where they could for the Problem Solvers but the referee was quick to learn that Haliburton wasn't one to be looked at every time he shook his cane. For many large segments of the match, Muldoon and Davidson resorted to quick and frequent tags to keep the Chromosomes off balance. X and Y were much quicker so slowing the masked wrestlers down was a priority. Late in the match, it was Chromosome Y and Dan Muldoon inside the ring. After a long exchange of fists, Y whipped Muldoon to the corner chest first. After having the breath knocked out of him, Muldoon was rolled up from behind. Before the referee could make the count, Haliburton climbed to the ring apron. With Jim Daniels distracted, Pete Davidson entered the ring and clotheslined Y to break up the pin.]

Skullhead: Haliburton still on the apron... wait... do you see that? Somebody is coming out from under the ring?

Pinhead: Not just somebody... two somebodies! It's the Cordova twins!

Skullhead: They're right behind Chromosome X and X doesn't see them! What are they doing?

Slush: Now THAT is sneaky!

Pinhead: They just fastened a leg chain to the bottom rope and to X's ankle!

[And just like that, the Cordova's disappeared right back under the ring. Haliburton got down from the ring apron and the referee turned back just in time to see Muldoon covering Y and Davidson leaving. Though suspicious, Daniels went on with the count. But Y managed to power out at two. X quickly called attention to the leg chain and Daniels moved to inspect. With his back turned again, Davidson slipped right through the ropes to spear tackle to the mat. Muldoon then pounced. Jim Daniels tried once again to enforce the 500 pound limit but by this point the Problem Solvers would have nothing to do with. Not answering to the limit or to the strict five count, Jim Daniels called for the disqualification.]

RING ANNOUNCER: The winners of this match by disqualification.... THE CHROMOSOMES!

Pinhead: The Wrecking Crew is quick to head down. And for good reason. Chromosome Y is getting doubled up on and X is chained to the corner.

Skullhead: I believe the damage is done though. The Problem Solvers don't necessarily care about winning, just keeping the gold. And they don't have to win to do that.

Pinhead: And having the Cordova's under the ring looks like it was one of Haliburton's many contingency plans.

Slush: When the hell did they get under there?

Pinhead: And are they still there? Why are they still there?

Slush: Maybe it's a secret entrance! I always wanted one of those in my place.

Pinhead: You know if you set aside money you could have it done.

Slush: Pfft, I tried it once on my own.

Pinhead: Too much work?

Slush: No, my neighbor downstairs didn't like the fact I was cutting through his ceiling.

Skullhead: We're out of time folks. We're leaving you with the Problem Solvers heading up the ramps still the champions and I'm sure, one way or the other, there will be someone to topple them.

Slush: Get them on a boat and it'll be easy.

Skullhead: Good night everyone. We’ll see you on the next episode of Tuesday Bloody Tuesday.

[After Skullhead signs off for another night, we do not fade into the sweet merciful night. Oh no, there are still things which are a foot. We move to the backstage area where the MBC's top brass have taken over one of the rooms as their command center. Stacks of paper work are everywhere at various heights and laptops of every brand are like little command stations. If this was "Tron"... well it would look a lot cooler.]

KL: That is the worst possible thing you could ever say to me. Ever.

[I don’t know... I kinda liked "Tron".]

KL: We had an agreement on every last detail. All we needed was your signature.

[In this command center we find MBC President Kyle Lee speaking on the phone, and he definitely doesn't look happy.]

KL: We spent weeks on this deal! Los Angeles wanted the MBC and we wanted Los Angeles! What the hell is stopping you from closing the deal?

[Lee's eyes go wide with rage.]

KL: THAT'S BULL[MEEP]!

[Yeah, that will win them back. In walks James Hardi who has obviously heard the commotion. Lee sees him walk in as he listens to the other side of the phone.]

KL: That's outright untrue. It was never... hello? HELLO? DAMNIT!

[Lee closes his phone and tosses it down.]

KL: Los Angeles backed out. We're homeless again.

JH: Why'd they drop out?

KL: They weren't confident we did enough to show that we've got things under control.

JH: So we're back to square one.

KL: Pretty much.

[And then in walks Commissioner Becky Carlisle-Skullhead.]

BCS: Hey boss man, I've got someone here to see you.

KL: Who?

BCS: Mister Donner from "you know where".

[Lee immediately starts to rub his temples.]

KL: I can't believe I'm about to say this...

JH: Don't say it! You can't possibly be considering it. You'd be at a disadvantage for your match even!

KL: It's the only city willing to take us and let’s be honest, the money their offering is far more than everybody else. It's not ideal, but we're desperate ad we’re running out of time. If we don't go there, then where the hell are we going to go?

[Hardi has no reply. Lee then stands as Becky goes to bring in the sharply dressed Mr. Donner. Moments later Donner enters with a suitcase in hand. Remember those legal ninjas from the contract signing? They're here too.]

Donner: Good evening Mister Lee. How unfortunate to hear about Los Angeles.

KL: Their loss is your gain I suppose?

Donner: Indeed and I dare say that it is your gain as well. My city is well prepared to help make this the greatest MBC event ever. In fact, I've already broached the terms of the contract with your lawyers and Mrs. Carlisle.

[Lee raises an eyebrow and looks at Becky.]

BCS: I looked it over. We stand to lose nothing.

JH: Except maybe our insanity. Or dignity.

BCS: The contract is rock solid. Any and all requirements on their part are well within reason and they've agreed to all our standard terms.

KL: I suppose that's it then.

Donner: So we have a deal then? Or at least a tentative one?

KL: I'm sure this will bite me in the ass, but... we do.

[And with that, Lee and Donner shake hands. The MBC has a venue for SplatterNad at last!]

Donner: The people of Styx, Wyoming will be quite happy.

[Fade to sweet merciful black.]
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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Flouzemaker
The Luther Burger
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Alright.

More of
The Inane, Disorganized Ramblings of a Clueless N00b.
(I suppose I'll have to be the n00b until another n00b comes along, if it ever happens.)



First:
Dang it, Pedro, you're late again! How am I supposed to ramble on about MBC shows when you have not yet told me what my opinion is, huh?
Jeez.
What happened? You no likey Slush no more? He turns straight and you turn away?
What?

Anyways... let's move on with the show.

[Grammar Nazi]
Quote:
 
Zeus ruled from his thrown on Olympus
[/Grammar Nazi]
Lolz!
Sure, it's not a grammar mistake... but in the same vein, I rarely see typos.
I often see Kyle writing "you're" when it should be "your" and stuff like that, though.
Is the GTC truly aptly named?

Anyways, it all fits nicely with the homeless MBC storyline and stuff. But, being obsessive about such things, I always dislike it when I see things like "All the wrestlers stand at attention, quiet and ready to hear..."
In this case, it might look to the unknowing eye that VVEE is doing just that, so I'll let it slide. But there are a lot of others on the roster who would be physically unable to do the above action, or something that looks like it to the untrained eye.
I kid. I'm just obsessive.
Moving on.



You know what?
The only problem I can see with Jan Delgado's gauntlet (or is it Holly's?), is that it's too entirely predictable that Delgado will beat the gauntlet. It all points to a Hotbody-Delgado match, and the way that match happens is by having Delgado beating the gauntlet.
It's the only drawback I can see here, and it's no problem at all so long as an entertaining way to beat the last leg is found for the next show. (And that's almost guaranteed given the match stips, so we're golden.)
It's all progressing forth quite nicely.


Someone will have to help me out here...
Are Prévert and Epswich corrupt referees or not? Are the Chromosomes heels or faces?
At times, I'm confused... having dealings with referees would be a heel thing to do, but I remember the Problem Solvers as being heels...


Personally, I preferred this contract signing to the Hello Kitty Deathmatch - This had a generally more serious tone (though plenty to chuckle about), a simultaneously laid a lot of groundwork for the subsequent part of the feud.



More Viking Vixen, for which I must again apologize. But if you're an optimist, you can tell yourself that I'll one day accidentally write an adequate flash.
Hey, if a roomful of monkeys can do it...
Quote:
 
Slush: If the redhead is Ginger Slut, what flavor is Ruiz?
Tinkle: MEEP!
Slush: I don't even think that flavor is legal!

Does anyone else always try to guess what Tinkle says?



Ah... under normal circumstances, I have no issues with predictable stuff. Predictable stuff can be as satisfying as twists when done the right way (Trey DaMann's recent announcement is an example - could see it coming for miles, but still damn good when it landed).
However, I did not see the Grimsson no show coming.


OK, last show she was called Johanna Sabrina. Is it back to Suprema, now? (I like the "Suprema" name...)
Still, the Dead Boy Jones chase and beatdown was totally awesome in every way.


Quote:
 
Slush: What do you mean, "tucking"?

Lolz!

Then, there was some Landis thing I skipped.



Quote:
 
The winner gets first crack at Taylor MacKenzie's Grandmaster Typo Championship. The loser... gets a crack at it later.

This has to be the most trivial prize ever.
Why does it work?
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Wolf
Captain Bollerophon "Tornado" Shanks
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Her name is listed as Johanna "Don't Call Me Jobbera" Suprema on the roster page of the MBC website, so that's what Kiora calls her. :dontknow:

As for the GTC, I belive Kyle mentioned in the MBC FAQ that the title is indeed named for typos that appear in his writing.
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MBCKyle
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Wolf,Jun 14 2009
04:58 PM
Her name is listed as Johanna "Don't Call Me Jobbera" Suprema on the roster page of the MBC website, so that's what Kiora calls her. :dontknow:

As for the GTC, I belive Kyle mentioned in the MBC FAQ that the title is indeed named for typos that appear in his writing.

Part of the BOB Club stuff is to give the jobbers an overhaul. I think that part may be obvious. With Johanna Suprema, I liked the Sabrina name but most people prefered Suprema. So Suprema is what we'll stick with.

And yes, I am a typo king. I try and get them all. You should see the show BEFORE I proofread. But I am not the best proofer as you can plainly see. So you'll see plenty of "you're"' and "your" mixed up. I catch more than I miss... I hope...
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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MBCKyle
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Flouzemaker,Jun 14 2009
11:58 AM

Quote:
 
The winner gets first crack at Taylor MacKenzie's Grandmaster Typo Championship. The loser... gets a crack at it later.

This has to be the most trivial prize ever.
Why does it work?

Because Max Benson and Ryu Osawa are wonderfully goofy. Totally the strength of character and handlers on this one.
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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KliqerT
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"This has to be the most trivial prize ever.
Why does it work?"

I believe we already went through that discussion, and it was the joint light heavyweight title that won that acclaim.

And one day, you WILL read a Landis promo, dammit.
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KliqerT
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MBCKyle,Jun 15 2009
12:06 AM
And yes, I am a typo king. I try and get them all. You should see the show BEFORE I proofread. But I am not the best proofer as you can plainly see. So you'll see plenty of "you're"' and "your" mixed up. I catch more than I miss... I hope...

Yet another reason why it's a shame Steve Carmichael never came to MBC. If I have to correct his spelling on Alex Kidd's "summersault bulldog" one more time...
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MBCKyle
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KliqerT,Jun 15 2009
03:35 PM
MBCKyle,Jun 15 2009
12:06 AM
And yes, I am a typo king. I try and get them all. You should see the show BEFORE I proofread. But I am not the best proofer as you can plainly see. So you'll see plenty of "you're"' and "your" mixed up. I catch more than I miss... I hope...

Yet another reason why it's a shame Steve Carmichael never came to MBC. If I have to correct his spelling on Alex Kidd's "summersault bulldog" one more time...

Steve was a staunch non-bastard. Him and one of the Larkins. Craig, Kraig... I don't know how he spells it.

And Steve did have that luchadore of his in the MBC. Took two to three years to get his RP in though...

I don't think it was ever meant to be...
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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