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| Show Three | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 8 2009, 06:51 PM (150 Views) | |
| ratrangerm | Dec 8 2009, 06:51 PM Post #1 |
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Aging veteran
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[Fade in: Yes, it's your host, Randy Grant, the guy that gives you all the lowdown on Total Drama Wrestling. As if you haven't been paying attention to it anyways... but if you haven't, well, then pay attention, son! Or daughter, as the case may be. At any rate, you should know the drill... Randy talks while clips of the last show air.] RG: Last time on Total Drama Wrestling... ...the competitors were involved in a War Games match, where it was every wrestler for themselves. We got to see some hard-hitting action between American Freebear and Kevin McCabe. We found out that Gabby RioPaah and Keisha Love really don't like each other. We learned that Simon O'Neal was generally content to help Keisha, while Suzie Machina was generally content to help Kevin. And we also learned that Jack Keening is still apparently clueless that he's supposed to be one of the participants. We also got a cameo from "Just An Average Guy" Scott Reeves, who was armed with the ever deadly squirt qun, but ended up being the first person to give up despite being the last person in. And it was Gabby RioPaah who took advantage when the other competitors were a bit busy... particularly with Simon O'Neal having to explain to Jack Keening the rules of War Games. So Gabby will get the comforts of heating in her prison cell while the rest of the competitors get to freeze their butts off. But tonight, the competitors aren't going to be as concerned with how well they sleep at night. They are going to be concerned with what's at stake... as one of them could win invincibility, and one of them will be going home. Who will stick around? Who will be gone? And who will ensure that catering for me and Raymond is properly handled? Well, you might not get the answer to the third question, as that's handled behind closed doors. But you will find out the answer to the other questions, and so much more, on this episode of... TOTAL! DRAMA! WRESTLING! [And as usual, we don't need no stinking opening package. Hell, Randy's introduction IS your opening package. We just simply fade into the commons area of the prison cells, where your host is taking center stage.] RG: Good morning... I take it you slept well. [The grumbling from some of the competitors would indicate they did not.] RG: Doesn't matter... you all have got yourselves a mountain to climb today... literally. Now, there's this one promotion that likes to put on what they call a King of the Mountain match... that one involves a big cage, a bunch of ladders and rules that tend to be confusing as all get out. Well, we decided it would be simpler to take King of the Mountain to its literal meaning. [And then, up comes the shot of a massive structure in the middle of the prison yard... all the while, we have Randy Grant talking about it.] RG: We've set up our own mountain out in the yard... and throughout the mountain we've included a lot of obstacles to make it more interesting. First of all, there are a few pathways that could take you up the mountain... except they may change course at a moment's notice. You might be able to scale a ledge to get closer to the top... unless the ledge pulls back into the mountain. And it wouldn't be a mountain without boulders in the way... boulders that could give away and come rolling right into your path. And because this challenge needs to be a little more interesting... we've rigged a few explosives and other surprises. [And then we go back to Randy Grant... and there's Raymond Elbert standing beside him.] RG: Raymond here is going to be the one controlling everything on the mountain... and certainly he wants to make things as... challenging... as possible. RE: You hear that? Your fate is in my hands! RG: Now, I'm sure some of you are wondering... what's in it for me? Well, at the top of the mountain rests a crown... the person who gets to the top and claims that crown wins the challenge and gets invinicibility. That's right... after today's challenge, one of you will be sent home by your fellow competitors... ...but before we get to that, we have a little something for all of you. [Raymond then presents a box, which is opened to reveal a bunch of medals.] RG: We want to make sure everyone goes home with something special... so each of you gets a medal just for participating. [He then pulls out a medal, and a closeup reveals the following embossed on it. "I WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO BE PART OF TDW" Randy looks at the medal and frowns.] RG: Raymond... this was supposed to say "desperate" and not "dumb." RE: Desperate, dumb... pretty much the same thing. Especially after they experience what I have in store for them on the mountain! RG: Well... point taken. To the rest of you... you'll get your medal, and then it's time to get to the mountain. [The scene opens to Keisha Love. Today, the pretty young thing is pacing back and forth in her cell, muttering under her breath. She's clad in a pink tank top and jeans, completing the look with tennis shoes. Her back hair falls down her back and there's a quite displeased look on her face. Finally, she turns to face the camera with a sneer.] Keisha: I _hate_ to lose. [She folds her arms across her chest.] Keisha: Me and Simon were close. So close. To winning that challenge. But did we? Nooooooooooo! And it's all because of that crack skank, Suzie Machina, who just couldn't leave her nose out of our business! [Keisha's eyes narrow in contempt.] Keisha: Now, listen here, ho bag. You'd better smarten up and pick your enemies wiser. Because if you _ever_ pull a stunt like that again, jumping in business that doesn't pertain to you, I will bury your ass and enjoy every minute of it. we clear on that, Machina? Good. Because I am the last chick around here that you wanna make angry. As far as tonight's contest, bring it on! I'm sick and tired of coming up short, and figure that it's about damned time that I prove myself. It is time these people saw what I can really do. And if anyone is stupid enough to step in my way again, well, it's an awful long way down from that mountain! [Fade to black.] [The camera fades in and you see Kevin McCabe just sitting inside his cell and he takes a deep breathe before speaking to the camera...] Kevin McCabe: "Kind of cold down here don't you think..." [Kevin flashes his sadistic smile before continuing... ] Kevin McCabe: "So War Games has come and gone that quickly and the battle lines have been drawn. Alliances were made and as well as enemies. I didn't sign up in Total Drama Wrestling to make friends. I don't care if you like me or are my biggest fan all that matters to me is I want to hurt some. I want to make someone cry. I want to see blood . I want to break an arm or maybe even a leg. I want people to piss themselves when they hear the name "Simply Sadistic" Kevin McCabe..." "I don't care if your name is Keening or Freebear or your somebody else. Someone is gonna get thrown off the top of the mountain and it will not be a pretty sight when the hit the bottom. I am not here to win challenges I am here to enforce the rules of TDW and guess what TDW HAS NO RULES. So put the women and children to bed cause at King of Mountain blood will spill ... bones will be broken ... heck even a career may be ended ... someone might even die ..." [ McCabe start to laugh as the camera just zooms away showing a crazed look in his eyes...] [Sitting before the TDW banner is Jack Keening. The continuously addled denier of his own status as a wrestler blinks, fearfully at the camera.] JK: … [Shifty look left, shifty look right.] JK: Holy mother of *BLEEP*. Are you serious? [Muttering is heard coming from off camera. Funny, it sounds something like the adults in those old Charlie Brown cartoons. Probably just because the cameraman isn't mic'ed.] JK: A gigantic mechanized mountain of DOOM whose only purpose on God's green earth is to send us screaming down into the abyss and our untimely ends? Is that about the size? [Mutter mutter. Muffled trumpet sounds.] JK: Ah-ha. [Look more fully to camera, bug-eyed.] JK: Ladies and gentlemen watching us here on SHOT, Total Drama Wrestling has pushed this black sheep of a legendary wrestling family too far, and I feel the need to drop all pretense! [Stand. Jack begins removing his brown jacket.] JK: Yes, for my uncle Fireball, cousins Banshee and Drillbit! For my father, Arnold who isn't a wrestler but is a Keening. For my mother, Jacqueline, who thinks wrestling is barbarous and practiced by Satan worshippers. (She's very religious, you know.) For my wife, Mona, and our sons George, Brian, Huck, Drago and Jack Junior. For our daugthers Jenna, Alberta, Bertha, Olga and Sidhe. For all my many other aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, the hundreds of cousins and those poor souls who, by marriage, have lost the name Keening … I promise you this! [Pause. Breathe. Drink a glass of water he just happens to be holding in his hand.] JK: I will not die upon the summit of that mount! As God is my witness … I vow to NOT CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN! [Digging his fingers in between the buttons of his business shirt, Jack rips it open, and quickly loosens his tie.] JK: As I rend my jerkin in twain! I... I thought I had my singlet on under here. Ah, crap. [Jack smiles sheepishly, cocking his head to one side.] JK: Ehhh … insert catchphrase here? [Cut.] [Meanwhile in another cell…] [Gabrielle RioPaah sits with a cup of tea in one hand and brass knuckles in the other. The cell is very quickly beginning to look like a proper sitting room.] RIOPAAH: Wellll, I don’t have any complaints. That electric heater was kind of crude, but I managed to cobble together a decent central heating system out the parts for it. [She takes a sip from her tea daintily, or at least as daintily as near 200 pound woman covered in tribal tattoos with a bone in her hair can.] RIOPAAH: I don’t suppose you know this—no, of course you don’t know this, that would involve actually paying attention rather than just coming up with stereotypes—but this challenge fits right into my Samoan heritage. On the satellite it was always tradition for us to sit and watch Nickelodeon. My favourite growing up was always “Guts.” I loved that female referee they had. I mean, how else are you going to explain this crap accent of mine, eh? [Another sip from the tea.] RIOPAAH: So naturally, I’ll be at an advantage again. The only thing missing is a big pointy trophy. And I’ll have these. [She holds up her fist with the brass knuckles.] RIOPAAH: And that’s not just because I can’t get them off. [She yanks on them a couple of times, then shakes her head.] RIOPAAH: Flippin’ Nora. [Suzie is sitting in front of the TDW backdrop, looking somewhat bored as she stares into the camera. Her hair has reverted to its natural brown, having been denied hair dye as part of her lockup. Machina is still a little unravelled, but less so than last episode.] SM: So, it looks like we’re having our first elimination challenge soon, and consequently our first elimination. What can I say? That I’m the better mountain climber or whatever than anyone else here? That no one will vote for me? I can’t garuantee that. I’m a fighter, not a prom queen. Well, I do like talking shit about people, so why not try some of that? A good old-fashioned shoot promo. [Suzie stretches out her arms and starts counting on her fingers.] SM: The one that comes up first is the American Freebear. Like everyone else who drapes himself in the flag and yells about how great America is, he’s kind of a dumbass and kind of evil. Congratulations, you’re a fat guy that can jump off a top rope. Give yourself a round of applause. Oh wait, that’s what you’ve been doing for your whole career. Simon O’Neal is supposed to be some evil mastermind, but all I’ve seen him do is smile smugly so far. He’s probably working something behind the scenes though, so I have to watch out for him. Jack Keening has another famous last name, but he’s so clueless that he’s obviously a legacy admission. That Samoan girl is strong and dumb, and is better at being both of those than Freebear. She could be a threat. Nagashima is okay, I guess. Not the most memorable guy, but he’s Japanese, and they’ve made fading into the backgroundi nto an art form. Speaking of Japan, what’s up with that Yano guy? Doesn’t he know referring to yourself in the third person went out around the same time as boy bands? [Suzie has six fingers up. Two left.] SM: Keisha Love, I’m with you on the woman’s liberation front, but I have a principal that anyone with a “business” degree must die. It’s nothing personal, sister. And McCabe... I don’t really trust him. He seems nuts, and not in a good way. But I learned recently that you shouldn’t make friends with your allies, and I can work with McCabe as an ally. [Suzie now opens her palms completely and stretches out again.] SM: So that’s the cast in my eyes. No one I don’t think I can take, really. But we’ll just see what happens tonight. [The camera sees Simon O'Neal looking up towards the ceiling.] SO: It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's... [Simon looks directly at the camera] SO: ... the Mighty Bastard, about to win the challenge. You see, this isn't for some bed or other comfort item. It's for invincibility. Whoever wins can't be voted off. That means that this challenge matters. If my opponents were smart, they'd vote me off right away. They aren't smart, but they might get lucky and pick my name out randomly as the person to vote off. So... invincibility? That's a good thing. [Simon looks up again] SO: Become King of the Mountain? I've been scaling mountains all my life, kids. Watch the master and learn. [Fade out] [Fade in.] [We find that paragon of fabulosity, "Tokyo Bad Boy" Ikuto Nagashima standing before an TDW banner. He's clad in a fishnet shirt and silver hot pants. He also wears a pair of red and white, striped stockings and black, combat boots. His hair is dyed bright red and styled in a mohawk. He folds his arms across his chest and regards the camera with a bored sigh.] Ikuto: King of the Mountain, eh? Well, if anyone is fit to be king around here, it's me. After all, I'm already a queen. [Snap!] Ikuto: Besides, I'm one of the few here that isn't an illiterate roughneck or piece of ghetto trash. I'm used to the finer things in life. Couture. Sophistication. Style. [He waves a manicured hand.] Ikuto: I have a breeding and pedigree, the likes of which, none here have ever or will ever see in their pathetic lives. So, if there is any crown to be given, it will be given to me. I am the only one who can _truly_ do it justice. After all, I've been told that gold is indeed my color. [He smirks.] Ikuto: So, it would be best if everyone here simply stood aside and allowed nature to take its course. Because I would really hate to have to shatter dreams or hurt feelings tonight. [He pauses] Then again, that could actually be fun. [The scene fades out.] [The only bear that flies has been groused awake. Sore over losing the challenge which would allow him to gain the pocket heater, the American Freebear could've very easily hibernate the rest of the competition away. However there are always more battles, always new challenges!] "King of the Mountain??? As if there were any doubt over whom that could be! The American Freebear: flies like a bird, hits like a gorilla, climbs like a goat and crushes the opposition like A DEMOLITION CREW!!! But he's a bear, and I'm him, and just like every time I climb up the top turnbuckle so as to hit my Bear Force One moonsault; I'm gonna climb up this mountain to victory, knocking down everything in my way!!" [This reminds the American Freebear of something. Quickly pulling out a small notebook and pen from his pocket, the big burly man-bear draws a reminder.] "Note to self: do NOT execute moonsault upon actually reaching the top this time. At least not before putting on crown-thingy beforehand." [He pockets the notebook and growls fiercely towards the camera! Fade out.] [And then, we cut to the mountain, at which we find all of our competitors at the base, each of them taking a different point on the mountain. Meanwhile, up in the watch tower, we hear the booming voice of Randy Grant and Raymond Elbert over the PA system.] RG: Now, rest assured, we have tested everything on the mountain and... uh, Raymond, you did test the mountain out, did you? RE: Why would I want to do that? This whole thing is experimental... makes it a little more interesting. Hell, I don't even know what will happen when I push a button. RG: You do realize that some of these competitors could hold us liable. RE: Liable for what? I'll bet most of these freaks have been in matches involving land mines, thumbtacks and broken glass, and they are worried about somebody's liability for an experiment gone wrong? RG: Well, sounds like you have our lawyers prepared. RE: We don't need no stinking lawyers! These nine folks are at our mercy! RG: Actually... you are correct! So, to the nine of you, best of luck and have fun! KING OF THE MOUNTAIN... LITERALLY So all nine competitors started their scaling of the mountain. Well, make that eight. For Jack Keening seemed more content to take his ring bell and throw it up the mountain. His throw was good enough to get about halfway up the structure, but then bounce off the side, then go tumbling back down... and in the process, dislodging a boulder that apparently was supposedly to be spruing later. And much to Yano Masoyoshi's dismay, it came tumbling right down into his path. Meanwhile, everyone could hear Raymond and Randy over the PA. RE: KEENING! That's supposed to be my job! RG: Just where the hell is he going? Jack had opted to run toward the dining room for Lord only knows what reason. Meanwhile, Suzie Machina was using the speed advantage she had on the others to take a small lead... but as she reached one of the clear pathways on the mountain, a boulder suddenly popped up and blocked her path, forcing her to either go back down the mountain or find another way. Ikuto Nagashima, meanwhile, was grabbing at her feet, but he was stopped by McCabe, who pushed him back down the side. Keisha Love and Simon O'Neal had paired up together and seemed content to help each other up the mountain... but when one of the ledges Simon grabbed suddenly gave away, he found himself slipping before Keisha reached out to grab him. This allowed the American Freebear to gain advantage, using his surprising agility to scale around other ledges... only to be slowed a bit when another ledge pulled away as he was about to grab it, causing him to slip before managing to grab another ledge. RG: At any moment, anybody could go tumbling down the mountain to their doom! RE: Didn't you say you were going to put mattresses around that thing? RG: When did you hear me say that? RE: Eh... OK, you didn't. RG: Hey... looks like Jack is coming back... what's he doing now? Jack Keening returned with a trash can filled with items, along with a dining room chair. He hurled the chair up the mountain, but it also fell short of the crown at the top... and this time, the chair came tumbling in the direction of Simon and Keisha, who both had to move quickly out of its way, prompting Simon to turn back and glare at Keening, who was quick to move to another side of the mountain. As this happened, Kevin McCabe and Gabby RioPaah were both in the lead of the other competitors, but as they reached the midway point, a mild explosion occurred, and when the dust settled, McCabe had just dodged to the side while RioPaah found herself being pushed down the mountain by small boulders, some which she tried to knock out of the way with her brass-knuckled fist. She ended up bumping into Machina, who lost her balance and began to slide, and that prompted McCabe to stop in his tracks and climb down. RG: Wow... looks like McCabe has a little heart under that rough exterior. RE: Never thought I'd see those two become a couple! American Freebear was now able to gain a few steps, and as Yano started to approac him, Freebear reached into his boot to pull out the baseball bat he won earlier, swinging at Yano and forcing him back down the mountain. But as this happened, a large boulder was released, headed right for Freebear, who was forced to dodge it and ended up losing his footing, sliding into a clear pathway. Freebear opted to start walking down the pathway, but a ledge popped out to block his progress, and then he got distracted when getting hit in the head with paper cups... evidently, Jack Keening was still trying his tactic of throwing items up the mountain. Now, this strategy might have worked with more effective weapons, but this is Freebear and these were paper cups. All it prompted Freebear to do was take one of the dislodged boulders and hurl it down toward Keening, who had to use the trash can to knock the boulder away. RG: Um, Jack... I hate to be the bearer of bad news for your interesting strategy... but the rules say you must climb the mountain to retrieve the crown. RE: You heard the man! Now start climbing, you big sissy! Jack tossed the trash can up the mountain anyway, but in this instance, he was tossing the can in the direction of RioPaah, who was gaining ground on Keisha Love. Simon O'Neal was then able to pull Keisha up to a ledge... a ledge that was solid and thus not going to pull back into the mountain. Yano was now negotiating his way up a pathway, coming closer to McCabe, who was helping Machina scale a jagged area. Nagashima was gaining ground on the other competitors, and Freebear was maintaining a slight lead... when all of a sudden, every competitor was forced to stop in their tracks as the entire structure began to shake. RG: Raymond... you decided to bring in the earthquake! Impressive. RE: Just call me the king of rock and roll... get it? RG: Um... yeah. While Freebear was agile, the shaking of the mountain was enough to cause him to lose his footing, and this allowed McCabe to get Machina past him. Freebear was then quick to cut off McCabe, and as Machina turned to look for him, McCabe quickly motioned for her to continue, then grabbed a boulder himself and slammed Freebear in the gut with it.. But as Machina got closer to the top, Nagashima opted to go for broke, leaping quickly from ledge to ledge, then just as he caught Machina, a ledge shifted and the two tumbled back down the mountain, both bumping into Yano and forcing him down as well. Jack Keening, meanwhile, was half-heartedly scaling the lower portion of the mountain, only to find a series of boulders tumbling into his path. His cohorts, Simon O'Neal and Keisha Love, were getting closer to the top, but so was Gabby RioPaah... and she held the slight lead. This prompted Love to motion to O'Neal, who then gave her a boost so she could grab Gabby by the leg and prevent her from climbing further. At that point, another mild explosion went off near the top of the mountain, and then liquid started to ooze down the side. RG: And here comes the lava... or a reasonable variation thereof. RE: What? You told me we'd get real lava! RG: Hey, I wanted it as much as you did... but it would have been a bit impractical. RE: So what is that stuff then? RG: Spaghetti sauce... it was the best thing we could think of that resembled lava. The flow of the sauce caused Keisha and Gabby to slip and go down the mountain, just as Freebear was able to push McCabe away and lunge for O'Neal. But as he did, a boulder gave way... one that happened to be under Freebear's foot... and he slid down the mountain himself. McCabe then tried to make his move as O'Neal got closer to the top, but just when he managed to grab O'Neal by the leg, Jack Keening intervened, reaching up to push McCabe's foot away and cause him to lose his balance. McCabe, though, managed to grab Jack and try to pull him down the mountain. This prompted O'Neal to turn momentarily, then get a slight grin on his face... after which he immediately leapt at McCabe, half-tackling him and forcing him to release his grasp on Keening. And just then, Keening reached out for a hand, seemingly to grab at O'Neal, but ended up pushing him instead, sending O'Neal and McCabe down to a ledge. Keening then pulled himself up... and shocking himself, was at the top of the mountain. Freebear had managed to get close to the top, but as he lunged, Keening claimed the crown and placed it on his head, shocking likely the entire viewing audience that he managed to win the darn thing. RG: Well, I'll be... Jack Keening is the King of the Mountain. RE: King of Fools if you ask me! RG: Well, regardless of what you think he's king of... Jack Keening has just won invincibility! [The annoucement appears to surprise Keening himself.] RG: So Jack Keening is safe from elimination! As for the rest of you... time to head back to your cells and decide who is going home! Ponder your decisions carefully... and we'll meet after dinner to decide who is done. [We cut to the tower, where Randy cuts off the loudspeaker.] RE: So what's the menu? RG: Well, it was going to be spaghetti, but since we used all the sauce on the mountain, they'll be getting leftovers instead. RE: Leftover what? RG: Not our concern... we've got filet mignon, my friend. RE: Now that's good eating! [In a whisper] Freebear didn't hear that, did he? [Fade out.] |
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7:24 PM Jul 10