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Predictions for Gold Rush '09; Or where cancer=PUSH~!
Topic Started: Oct 12 2009, 05:47 PM (923 Views)
Flouzemaker
The Luther Burger
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Alright.
I'll try to buck the trend and add an actual on-topic post.


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"THE MATRIX" FELICIA MARLEY vs DALBELLO RAGE vs CORVETTE

Marley barely had the chance to make an impression beyond her debut, and I didn't even know Dalbello was in UWF... no wait, wait... I recall Scottie Saratoga butchering the name...
In any case, seeing as Marley and Rage are still too underexposed and given what's at stake, gotta go with Corvette winning the title shot.

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Towel match: "DARK HORSE" RANDALL OSBOURNE vs DANIEL KIDD

I would have been pretty damn bored with this one, but the towel stipulations have the potential to make it a suspenseful read and entertaining all around. Wouldn't be surprised to see this one be in the top 2 or 3 best matches of the card.
Since I see this chapter closing at Gold Rush, we'll have Osbourne win it.

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PVW Superstar "SHOWTIME" RICK MARLEY eats a baby

Boiled, baked, roasted, grilled or tartare? We shall see...

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Women's NA title match: DONNA TETREAULT vs SUMMER BLAKE

Hm.
Well, because Blake just won a dang handicap match pretty much, I'll have to go with Donna retains for now.

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THE OUTLAWS vs JOHNNY DETSON and TYRONE "PURPLE" HAYES

Aren't Detson and Hayes PVW guys? Or did they debut in the UWF... except that thanks to the delays, it had happened in such a distant and hazy past that I had forgotten?
Aren't Detson and Hayes faces, just like the Outlaws?

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OZ RIVERA vs "DUBBA-V" VINNIE VASQUEZ

One of the most entertaining stories of the cycle, just a tad bit underexposed, but not by a lot. Since Oz has jobbed way more often than he should have, I'll give him the win this time, yet hope this one goes on a little while still. At least half a cycle more or something.
Though ending it at Gold Rush isn't bad either... better short and sweet than painfully too long.

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Last woman standing match for the Women's World title: "MOCKINGBIRD" NINA GRIMSSON vs "THE ALL AROUND ATHLETE" LAURA DAVIS

I don't think we've seen enough stuff from either. Based on the lack of evidence, I shall be forced to toss a coin.
Coin toss says Davis wins.

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TV title match: DAN KAUFFMAN vs "THE LAST AMERICAN BADASS" ALEX MARTINEZ

Aah... That's another coin toss to me. A coin toss that says Kauffman wins.

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The Unified World Tag Team Championship match: DON'T GO THERE vs "THE FANTASY" BRETT YOUNG and mystery partner

Don't go there have been ominously silent, recently, and Young has a little bit more momentum. So long as the mystery partner is not a let down, I'd possibly crown new champions...
Right now, I'd say the mystery partner has to be Tommy Stephens. It makes little sense story-wise, but Stephens deserves to be on Gold Rush, and he deserves to win one, for a change.

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Ladder match: GAMMA RAY vs TOMMY "THRILLSEEKER" ELLIOTT

Everyone loses, no doubt.

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North American Heavyweight Championship: "DEAD END" DEREK MARTIN vs "THE ERA OF DEFIANCE" GABRIEL WHITECROSS

A little underexposed both, I thought, with a lack of an actual angle. I'll go out on a limb and say Whitecross overwhelms Martin with his vocabulary.

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UWF World Heavyweight championship match:
"THE EXTREME" ALEXANDER EPSTEIN vs JUAN VASQUEZ vs TUMAFFI vs TREY
DAMANN

What I'd do is the following:
Have DaMann use the ring as his personal deathbed for 99% of the match while the other three annihilate each other good and proper. Then, as death spasms shake him, DaMann accidentally rolls over a knocked-out foe, getting the pin.
He may then expire in the ring if he so desires.
This then leads to some type of big match and/or tournament to crown a new champion, where Epstein gets a bye or similar advantage in lieu of being able to exercise his rematch clause.
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RedRajah
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Shocked Woona is Shocked
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"THE MATRIX" FELICIA MARLEY vs DALBELLO RAGE vs CORVETTE

-->Personally, I would have made this a four-way as well by adding Scottie Saratoga, making it a nice bookend to the main event, not to mention giving the TNT recapper another chance to get her snark on. However, unless any fugitive French girls with family issues come back looking for misguided revenge to give the speed queen a much-deserved angle, Corvette takes it.

Towel match: "DARK HORSE" RANDALL OSBOURNE vs DANIEL KIDD

-->If Dan Kidd wins, he becomes even more insufferable and puppies will die. Please, Randall Osbourne, think of the puppies.

PVW Superstar "SHOWTIME" RICK MARLEY eats a baby

-->I have a couple theories as to who in the UWF will answer the call. Perhaps someone...bastardly.

Women's NA title match: DONNA TETREAULT vs SUMMER BLAKE

-->My match so MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!

THE OUTLAWS vs JOHNNY DETSON and TYRONE "PURPLE" HAZE!

-->This ain't gonna end cleanly and things are just getting started, so I say double DQ.

OZ RIVERA vs "DUBBA-V" VINNIE VASQUEZ

-->This could go another cycle. Either way, Rivera takes it with Tunney's help.

Last woman standing match for the Women's World title: "MOCKINGBIRD" NINA GRIMSSON vs "THE ALL AROUND ATHLETE" LAURA DAVIS

-->Laura Davis feeds on your tears. Detroit better get ready for another hometown choke.

TV title match: DAN KAUFFMAN vs "THE LAST AMERICAN BADASS" ALEX MARTINEZ

-->Martinez needs to drop the TV title. He's bigger than it and it's time he gets back into the main title hunt (or NA title). Hard-fought on both sides, but Kauffman takes the win.

The Unified World Tag Team Championship match: DON'T GO THERE vs "THE FANTASY" BRETT YOUNG and mystery partner

-->"We want someone to step up and challenge us! Hello? HELLO?!" Yeah, REAL quiet, Flouze. :P Regardless, stuff is planned for DGT after Gold Rush no matter what the belt situation is, so my butt is covered.

Ladder match: GAMMA RAY vs TOMMY "THRILLSEEKER" ELLIOTT

-->Danny Daniels suddenly arrives and pins them both! BOOYEAH~!

North American Heavyweight Championship: "DEAD END" DEREK MARTIN vs "THE ERA OF DEFIANCE" GABRIEL WHITECROSS

-->If Whitecross can't win, then the only way Martin is dropping that belt is if he dies. Whitecross wins by a whisker.

"THE EXTREME" ALEXANDER EPSTEIN vs JUAN VASQUEZ vs TUMAFFI vs TREY
DAMANN

-->Which is cleaner -- death by cancer or death by Tumaffi? Will Tommy Stephens be a factor? I could very easily see a double-turn here with JV going face (whether he likes it or not) and Epstein heel.
And here's where I pretend to be a writer...
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Flouzemaker
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RedRajah,Oct 13 2009
12:57 PM
The Unified World Tag Team Championship match: DON'T GO THERE vs "THE FANTASY" BRETT YOUNG and mystery partner

-->"We want someone to step up and challenge us! Hello? HELLO?!" Yeah, REAL quiet, Flouze. :P Regardless, stuff is planned for DGT after Gold Rush no matter what the belt situation is, so my butt is covered.

Don't get your knickers in a bunch, Katie!
I can watch tectonic plates move between UWF updates... With the memory I have, I'm bound to forget some stuff.

My defective memory only remembers those that have seventeen segments, flashes, RPs and on-cards per week.
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Flouzemaker,Oct 13 2009
03:49 PM
My defective memory only remembers those that have seventeen segments, flashes, RPs and on-cards per week.

So, I see that you're one of those handlers that only reads their own segments!
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Flouzemaker
The Luther Burger
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Guest,Oct 13 2009
04:15 PM
Flouzemaker,Oct 13 2009
03:49 PM
My defective memory only remembers those that have seventeen segments, flashes, RPs and on-cards per week.

So, I see that you're one of those handlers that only reads their own segments!

Nah, read the whole thing. Will skip my own stuff in shame if I notice some type of grammar mistake or typo.

To illustrate the quality of my memory...

Long ago, when I was less dorky, I sang in a band. We sucked, and since I wrote and composed all the songs, we were worse. But despite practicing about 3 to 5 times per week and having weekly gigs... Nearly half the time, I still couldn't remember the lyrics I'd written myself for songs I'd sing well over ten times a week.
No exaggeration.


My memory is beyond pathetic.
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Overly_Critical_Jue
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
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Well, I might as weigh in with my predictions...

"THE MATRIX" FELICIA MARLEY vs DALBELLO RAGE vs CORVETTE

-Corvette's been the most visible of any of these chicks. I can even tell you that she's got that "fast" gimmick. I can't even begin to tell you what the other girls in this match are about. Based on this, Corvette takes it.

Towel match: "DARK HORSE" RANDALL OSBOURNE vs DANIEL KIDD

-I'm gonna say that towel shenanigans go on between the various 3rd parties and somehow Kidd steals the win.

PVW Superstar "SHOWTIME" RICK MARLEY eats a baby

-Unfortunately, his heel heat will continue to lag behind Vasquez's. :bleh:

Women's NA title match: DONNA TETREAULT vs SUMMER BLAKE

- I'll go with Donna here.

THE OUTLAWS vs JOHNNY DETSON and TYRONE "PURPLE" HAZE!

- The whole match is thrown out when Tyrone Hayes runs down to ringside and takes care of his impostor.

OZ RIVERA vs "DUBBA-V" VINNIE VASQUEZ

- It looks like the beginning of bigger and better things for Oz. As long as Vinnie doesn't tap into the power of the roll-up pin~!

Last woman standing match for the Women's World title: "MOCKINGBIRD" NINA GRIMSSON vs "THE ALL AROUND ATHLETE" LAURA DAVIS

- Uhhhh...somehow, Donna wins this as well? I'll go with Laura, otherwise.

TV title match: DAN KAUFFMAN vs "THE LAST AMERICAN BADASS" ALEX MARTINEZ

- Dan Kauffman's mysterious old man training super powers comes through.

The Unified World Tag Team Championship match: DON'T GO THERE vs "THE FANTASY" BRETT YOUNG and mystery partner

- I'll go with DGT. Mystery partners are usually good for the surprise, but then end up eating the pinfall. I know this pattern!

Ladder match: GAMMA RAY vs TOMMY "THRILLSEEKER" ELLIOTT

- I'm crossing my fingers that Tommy Stephens repels down from the ceiling and somehow ends up with the omni-title shot.

North American Heavyweight Championship: "DEAD END" DEREK MARTIN vs "THE ERA OF DEFIANCE" GABRIEL WHITECROSS

- Whitecross's words confuse Martin and break his brain, leaving him easy pickings for the Family Name.

"THE EXTREME" ALEXANDER EPSTEIN vs JUAN VASQUEZ vs TUMAFFI vs TREY
DAMANN

- My match, so I can't really comment, but if the match goes down the way Flouze described it...I'm gonna give Vasquez the ebola virus next cycle. :dontknow:
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KliqerT
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Doughy
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Alright, so I haven't seen any predictions on this yet, but any thoughts as to who the new owner(s) of the UWF may be? Talk away...
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MBCKyle
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KliqerT,Oct 30 2009
11:20 AM
Alright, so I haven't seen any predictions on this yet, but any thoughts as to who the new owner(s) of the UWF may be? Talk away...

I'm thinking it'll be a government bailout. Canada has extra cash right?
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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KliqerT
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Doughy
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If the best we can hope for is a future like the CBC, I'll end things right now. No way is George Stroumboulopoulos taking over for the Holy Trio.
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RedRajah
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Shocked Woona is Shocked
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Ooh! Ooh! Can we hope for Marc Cuban? :D
And here's where I pretend to be a writer...
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Overly_Critical_Jue
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
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New owner?

Sylhouette won the French lottery. Gamma Ray's days are numbered. :banana:
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Jay Steele Was Declared DeadNOT
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UWF World Heavyweight championship match:
"THE EXTREME" ALEXANDER EPSTEIN vs JUAN VASQUEZ vs TUMAFFI vs TREY
DAMANN

------> Can't comment.

North American Heavyweight Championship: "DEAD END" DEREK MARTIN vs "THE ERA OF DEFIANCE" GABRIEL WHITECROSS

------> I'm on a nostagia kick. Whitecross takes the title.

Ladder match: GAMMA RAY vs TOMMY "THRILLSEEKER" ELLIOTT

------> There's no stopping Gamma Ray!

The Unified World Tag Team Championship match: DON'T GO THERE vs "THE FANTASY" BRETT YOUNG and mystery partner

------> Will we see an American Dreams reunion? Unless the partner is some huge guy from PVW (Marley?), DGR retain.

TV title match: DAN KAUFFMAN vs "THE LAST AMERICAN BADASS" ALEX MARTINEZ

------> LAB adds some more blood to the title belt. He wins a brutal match.

Last woman standing match for the Women's World title: "MOCKINGBIRD" NINA GRIMSSON vs "THE ALL AROUND ATHLETE" LAURA DAVIS

------> Davis will find a way to win.

OZ RIVERA vs "DUBBA-V" VINNIE VASQUEZ

------> Coin flip....Rivera is on the right side of a roll-up.

THE OUTLAWS vs JOHNNY DETSON and TYRONE "PURPLE" HAZE!

------> The Outlaws, the best tag team in the game.

Women's NA title match: DONNA TETREAULT vs SUMMER BLAKE

------> Shocker Special! Nikki turns on Donna, helping Summer win! If not, Scottie helps Summer win.

PVW Superstar "SHOWTIME" RICK MARLEY eats a baby

------> Babies have no place in the ring anyway.

Towel match: "DARK HORSE" RANDALL OSBOURNE vs DANIEL KIDD

------> Osbourne has been great all cycle. Plus, I miss Steeley!

"THE MATRIX" FELICIA MARLEY vs DALBELLO RAGE vs CORVETTE

------> Corvette
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Overly_Critical_Jue
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
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So, anyone want to revise their predictions now that they've seen rps? :bye:
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Picky
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Now let us retreat wench, for tonight, we feast on snobbery...
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I didn't see my RP and I double checked to see that I did, indeed, send it on the 24th. Thankfully, Errol's made it (E-roll still stinks though).
Have I told you how much I loathe your continued existence today?

Proud member of the Quote Pyramid Builders Union Local #317
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KliqerT
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Doughy
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Picky,Dec 3 2009
02:37 AM
I didn't see my RP and I double checked to see that I did, indeed, send it on the 24th. Thankfully, Errol's made it (E-roll still stinks though).

Not to fear, said RP is actually on the PPV itself. I don't use absolutely everything on the pre-show, so it will be seen.
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