Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to JTF Squaretable. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Emerald States Grand Prix Sample Super Card; Circa 1975!
Topic Started: Jan 5 2010, 11:21 PM (475 Views)
Picky
Member Avatar
Now let us retreat wench, for tonight, we feast on snobbery...
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Emerald States Grand Prix
July 4th, 1975
Revolutionary Rumble!
From the Mercer Arena in Seattle, Washington

Card line up:
David Hancock versus "Soviet Superstar" Sammy Calhoun
Canada's Finest ("Royal" Eddie Traveller and Jean LaFrench) versus The Oriental Masters (Karate Master I & II w/Ching the Mastermind)
Sonny Blankenship versus Adrian Bathwaite
Couch Street Company (Tracy Atticus and Herman North) versus The Fast Boys (Bill Wahlbach & Jake Tanner)
Dr. Osreich Klein versus Jimmy "Big Bang" Ballywack
"Little Wind" Ben Takesgun versus "KING" Cobb © (for the ESGP Cascade Mountains Championship)
South Pacific Tidal Waves © (Kila Ki'aihua & Pago Pago w/ The Witch Doctor and Slave Girl Lala) versus ANZAC (Tom Aardsma and "Big" Jonas Grief) (for the ESGP Northwestern States Tag Team Title)
Jack Shaw versus "El Bronco" Manolo Escobar w/ The Texatollah (Coal Miner's Glove match/Spotlight Match)
Burt "Convoy" Murdoch © versus Carmen Olathe (for the ESGP Northwestern States Heavyweight Title) Truckstop Brawl


Match One:
Grainy ESGP logo (overlay of Washington and Oregon) and we get an introduction to to the event from the "Voice of the Cascades" Francis Barrister. Barrister is in a burgundy suit with blue shirt and black bowtie. Commissioner Pat Barker is next to Barrister and is there to announce that not only will there be a spotlight match featuring two big stars from El Paso Wrestling but also that Murdoch and Olathe will settle their differences in an old fashioned Truckstop Brawl (which is just that the men come to the ring in street clothes).

Interview:
"Soviet Superstar" Sammy Calhoun and is mocking the fans of the dirty, decadent American Northwest. He claims he will crush Handcrock and that it'll take less than 10 minutes thanks to superior Soviet training. David Hancock comes out and gets shanghai'd as he enters the ring.

David Hancock vs. "Soviet Superstar" Sammy Calhoun

Hancock is about 5'8" and maybe 170 pounds soaking wet while Calhoun is a beast of a man from Sunny California (6'2" 254). Calhoun controls most of the match, slamming Hancock with a steady diet of bodyslams, turnbuckle smashes and punches. Calhoun flexes for the audience and yells about his superior "Soviet trained" physique. Hancock goes for a school boy roll up but only gets 2 and 5/6ths of a count before Calhoun escapes. Sammy C wastes no more time and, after a snapmare, climbs the second turnbuckle and delivers his "Iron Curtain Crash" shoulderblock and pins the now dead to the world Hancock.

Winner: "Soviet Superstar" Sammy Calhoun - 07:52 via pinfall (Iron Curtain Crush)

Match Two:
Canada's Finest (Traveller and LaFrench) vs. The Oriental Masters (Karate Master I & II w/ Ching the Mastermind)

Interview:
Canada's Finest come out and say that their opponent, the newly arrived Oriental Masters, are nothing but jokes and that Canada's Finest will beat the two shrimps and finally get a shot at the two fat cannibals or else.


Traveller and Karate Master II start off. Traveller is a lanky, brown haired man that stands 6'1" and weights 200 while Karate Master II wears a black mask, a white karate uniform (gi) and stands 5'10. KMII uses kicks and chops to beat back Traveller. LaFrench (blonde with 5 o'clock stubble, around 5'9" and 220) distracts the referee and Traveller pokes KM II in the eye with a thumb. LaFrench and Traveller cut off the ring and beat KM II for about 3 minutes; KM I (5'9" and wearing the same thing as KM II) can't stand it and bursts in but gets cut off by the referee and CF hit a double dropkick. LaFrench is the legal man and goes for the pin but KM II kicks out. Ching is yelling to the referee to pay more attention. LaFrench makes a few derogatory comments to the audience and then turns around into a karate chop to the shoulders by KM II; the chop disorients LaFrench and KM II goes for the hot tag. Traveller rushes to cut off KM II but his diving grab is just short. KM I is a house of fire - throwing out Traveller and beating up LaFrench with a dropkick, chops, kicks and getting him in the dangerous "Ancient Oriental Death Grip" (he's grabbing the right shoulder with a claw). Referee out of position, asking LaFrench if he'll give up when Traveller runs into the ring and breaks the hold. Canadian flag on the apron, ref goes to admonish/throw out Traveller, LaFrench clobbers KM II and Traveller points. KM I rushes but Traveller tackles him. CF wins again.

Winner: Canada's Finest - 12:22 via pinfall (LaFrench's "dangerous left hook")


Match Three:
Sonny Blankenship vs. Adrian Bathwaite

Interview:
Barrister interviews both men and they praise one another; the match is for the next shot at the winner of the Takesgun-Cobb match and the Cascade Mountains Championship.

Match:
Blankenship (5'8" 201) and Bathwaite (5'11" 190) exchange holds, clothelines and open hand punches. Running drop kick at the 5 minute mark puts Blankeship in charge while the Brit Bathwaite is on the receiveing end of a snapmare/headlock combination. Half nelson, shots to the neck and shoulders, headscissors - Blankenship is really working the neck and shoulders. Bathwaite manages to reverse an irish whip and deliver a jumping punch and proceeds to speed up the match. After wearing down Blankenship, Bathwaite delivers a devestating stalling suplex and gets the win. Handshake after the match.

Winner: Adrian Bathwaite - 10:33 via pinfall ("Royal Suplex")

Match Four:
Couch Street Company (Tracy Atticus and Herman North) versus The Fast Boys (Bill Wahlbach & Jake Tanner)

No interview footage. We end up with the match half over and North (brown haired man of about 6') and Walbach (red head of 6'2") bloodied and breathing hard. Tanner (5'9") is trying to get the crowd back into the match while Atticus (bald, 5'8" snears). North and Walbach proceed to exchange punches; North cheats by doing a "kick to the lower stomach" and tags Atticus. Double flapjack ends the match.

Winner: Couch Street Company - 09:08 ("Space Out")

Match Five:

Dr. Osreich Klein versus Jimmy "Big Bang" Ballywack

Interview: Big Bang is gonna teach that German weirdo a lesson.

Ballywack (6'1", bald and white mustache) starts off by clubbing Klein (5'10" flat topped blond German) with fists and forearms. Lots of irish whips into forearms and clotheslines by BallywickBig Bang ends up getting twisted into all sorts of shapes by the "Master of Manipulation". Long adominal stretch nearly results in a pass out but Big Bang feeds off the crowd. Big boot, goes for the Big Bang tackle but Klein moves out of the way and puts Ballywack into the "Examination Table" backbreaker. Ballywack fights and breaks out. After a few ineffective strikes by Klein, the big man Ballywack starts strutting and smacking Klein around. Finally finishes the match with "Wham Bam Thank Ya Ma'am" powerslam.

WInner: Jimmy "Big Bang" Ballywack - 12:55


Match Six:
"Little Wind" Ben Takesgun versus "KING" Cobb © (for the ESGP Cascade Mountains Championship)

Interviews:

Ben Takesgun (5'8" 212) is in full tribal garb with his old Yakima Valley College letterman's jacket (for football). He says he is here to restore pride in not only his tribe but the Cascade Championship. He's going to put down the big fat man that's spit on everything that anyone with pride has believed in. Takesgun gets a huge reaction from the crowd as he goes into the ring.

Tyrus "KING" Cobb is eating a turkey leg and the big man (6'3" 332) states "Ain't no one can pick me up and ain't no one can pin me; especially not some squab like Takesgun". He then waddles to the ring.

Match:
Cobb uses his size to tire Takesgun. Takesgun tries to use the ropes to bounce off and hit Cobb with more force but Cobb just laughs, spitting turkey out at Takesgun while in mid-cackle. Amazingly enough Cobb can't put away the determined Takesgun. Cobb has Ben in a bearhug but "Little Wind" frees an arm and gives Cobb a tomahawk chop right between the eyes that stuns the "King of the Walking Mountains". Takesgun clips a knee of Cobb and the mountain almost goes down. Finally, after five drop kicks, Cobb is on his back and moving side to side like a turtle on its back. There is no top rope rule in ECGP so Takesgun goes up top for his flying body splash and he hits it but hits so hard he bounces off Cobb. Cobb finally rolls onto his stomach and crawls to the ropes. Using the ropes he climbs back to his feet while "Little Wind" goes to the opposite ropes and does a bodyblock. Cobb bounces off the ropes and stumbles into Takesgun, bowling them both over and covering "Little Wind" for a 3 count. The audience boos loudly and Takesgun sits in the middle of the ring, dejected. Cobb wins yet again.

Winner: Tyrus "KING" Cobb at 09:32 (fat butt smashing opponent)

Match Seven:
South Pacific Tidal Waves © (Kila Ki'aihua & Pago Pago w/ The Witch Doctor and Slave Girl Lala) versus ANZAC (Tom Aardsma and "Big" Jonas Grief) (for the ESGP Northwestern States Tag Team Title)

Interview:
Francis Barrister is surrounded by the Tidal Waves and company on his right and ANZAC on his left. The Witch Doctor, in a loincloth with a bone through his nose and his "Witching Staff" tells Lala to do her tribal spirit dance and Lala, curvy and wearing as little as the producers will allow, begins to dance around while the Witch Doctor proceeds to curse ANZAC's bones and ancestors. Jonas Grief, with a wad of tobacco in his mouth, calls the Doctor a tosser and Aardsma mocks the dance. Kila and Pago attack and the two teams brawl to the ring.

Match:
A scientific match errupts with all four combatants bleeding buckets thanks to such technical manuevers as: bite forehead, headbutt, ear ringer, more biting and punching. Aardsma's face is covered in blood and Pago Pago, the smaller of the Tidal Waves at 5'10" 250, looks to have a busted nose. Kila, weighting in at over 300 pounds of fury from the South Pacific, is trading blows with 6'9" 300 pounds of Jonas Grief. The two just punch the ever living hell out of one another. Finally, Jonas decides to try and pick up Kila. With a straining grunt Jonas bodyslams Kila but Pago climbs onto the ropes and delivers a flying clothesline. Aardsma runs into the ring and clubs Pago with a forearm. The four just brawl in the ring and the referee is about to throw out the match but goes to seperate Kila and Grief, who are choking each other. Aardsma is about to hit the "Shag" neckbreaker but he is stopped by the Witch Doctor hitting him over the head with the staff. Lala tells the ref to look and the Tidal Waves escape with another win.

Winner: South Pacific Tidal Waves at 11:21 (via pinfall)

Match Eight:
Jack Shaw versus "El Bronco" Manolo Escobar w/ The Texatollah (Coal Miner's Glove match/Spotlight Match; unsanctioned by NAGC and ESGP)

Interview: Shaw just comes out, spitting chaw and looking like the giant hoss who's torn through Tex-Arkana like a madman. He has a noose around his neck and says he's going to pay back the Texatollah and Escobar for the crap they've given him in El Paso. Manolo and the Texatollah come out and say that it's time for some justice, Nueva Laredo style.

Match:

Big ole coal miner's glove is in the northwest corner of the ring on a pole. Shaw and Escobar meet face to face and exchange pleasantries. Manolo spits in Jack's face and the brawl begins. The two stand in the middle of the ring hammering one another until Escobar starts to fall behind thanks to the hamhocks Shaw calls fists. Shaw moves in for more punches but Escobar kicks Jack's heavily taped knee. Escobar just stomps Shaw and eventually begins to work the shoulders with elbows and hammer blows. Esobar goes for an irish whip but it gets reversed and Manolo is clubbed with an elbow to the side of the head. Shaw controls the match for awhile with a headlock, body slam, boots to the gut and, eventually, the dreaded abdominal stretch. Jack seems more interested in just plain killing Escobar than getting the glove. Fans are getting their wind back and loving the giant from Abilene. The Texatollah won't sit for this and he helps Manolo reach the ropes. Shaw is pissed but he thinks the damage has been done so Jack goes for the glove. The Texatollah trips Jack and gets a helping of words from the ref but it is long enough for Manolo to toss Jack off the second turnbuckle, over the ropes and onto the ground. Shaw is rolling around and Escobar grabs the glove. Escobar is smiling as he hits Shaw in the chest and goes for a pin. 2 count but Shaw presses Escobar and gets up. Wild swing by Escobar but Jack ducks and headbutts Manolo. Two steps back and a Chawliner clothesline (more like a clubbing forearm to the temple) and Escobar is out like a light. Three count and Shaw has managed to win.

Winner - Jack Shaw 14:01 (Chawliner)

Match Nine:
Burt "Convoy" Murdoch © versus Carmen Olathe (for the ESGP Northwestern States Heavyweight Title) Truckstop Brawl

Interview: "Convoy" is in his street clothes (because a Truckstop Brawl is just come as you are with no DQ) and says that the Jerk from Juneau will finally be put to rest... and Carmen comes and clobbers Burt with a giant left fist.

Match:

Carmen Olathe (6'4" 255) is taller than Murdoch (5'10" 280) but not as heavy. Olathe is a former Gold Gloves from Alaska and has his fists taped. Carmen pounds the crap out of Murdoch outside the ring, causing the champion a busted lip and Convoy is also bleeding from the top of his head. Murdoch grabs a head full of hair and manages to toss Olathe into the ring steps. Both men are just slugging one another and eventually both have their faces covered with blood. Instead of any actual wrestling punches and kicks are all that happen. The audience is loving the violence. Finally, Convoy delivers a belly to back suplex followed by a knee. Olathe is breathing heavily. Carmen gouges the eyes and gives Convoy a rabbit punch, causing the champ to go down like a sack of doorknobs. Carmen goes out and brings in a chair and is about to clobber the not quiet aware Murdoch, he ends up missing thanks to Murdoch ducking. The Convoy gives Olathe a taste of the steel chair and then, for good measure, executes his belly to belly suplex finisher. Giant horn sounds coming from the audience as Convoy has once again defended his title. The crowd eats this up and we get an exit interview.

Exit Interview:

Barrister: Incredible match Burt.

Murdoch: Ya gotta admit, it looked bleak there for a second but ole Convoy is in this for the long haul. Any time, anywhere Carmen, you want this belt, you come and get it. That goes double for you Cobb, you big sack of junk. I will defend this title and give all these fans the show they deserve.

Just then, Jack Shaw comes out.

Shaw: Murdoch, I seen your defend that title week in and week out. How'd you like to come on down to Texas and fight someone your own size?

*giant crowd pop*

Murdoch: Thanks Jack, but no. This belt here, this belt is the glory and pride of the Pacific Northwest. Any time you wanna come back and fight in the Emerald States, you're more than welcome to try and take it from me!

*The two shake hands and stare one another down as we get the credits*
Have I told you how much I loathe your continued existence today?

Proud member of the Quote Pyramid Builders Union Local #317
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums with no limits on posts or members.
« Previous Topic · HoW · Next Topic »
Add Reply