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| Show Six Part One | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 8 2010, 09:32 PM (189 Views) | |
| ratrangerm | Mar 8 2010, 09:32 PM Post #1 |
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Aging veteran
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[Fade in: Randy Grant standing at the gates of the Prison in the Middle of Nowhere. He's got a big smile, as usual. As he speaks, we get clips of the previous outing.] RG: Last time on Total Drama Wrestling, the participants became lumberjacks for a day... not in the sense of your typical lumberjack, though. It was their duty to fill up rings with two by fours... and while some of the participants were eager to cart as much wood as possible. A few people, like Kevin McCabe and Jack Keening, decided it was more fun to use wood as a weapon... although one was a bit more aggressive than the other. You decide if there was a sexual euphemism included there. Simon O'Neal seemed content to help Keisha Love secure invincibility, but he fell just a bit short as Suzie Machina had just enough lumber in her ring to keep herself safe from being voted off. And as it turned out, O'Neal's strategy proved even more costly as the other participants united to vote him off... although one of them who cast a vote turned out to be O'Neal's supposed ally, Jack Keening. Have to say I didn't see that one coming... although evidently Jack is not your ordinary Keening. What could this not-so-Boy Scout Keening have in store next? Will McCabe find more reasons to take out his aggressions? Could there be a new alliance formed to get somebody voted out? And will somebody please make sure my catered meals are low in fat, sodium and cholesterol? We'll get plenty of answers to so many burning questions... and perhaps some questions that aren't burning... this week on... TOTAL... DRAMA... WRESTLING! [As usual, we are too cheap to put together a decent opening montage, so we go right to the cafeteria. This morning, the participants were treated to omelettes. Which can only mean one thing... if they are being so treated nicely now, there must really be something unpleasant in store for this show. And we are about to find out, as Randy Grant and Raymond Elbert walk into the cafeteria and head up front. And both of them are dressed as police officer... in Keystone Kop uniforms. Randy is smiling as always, Raymond doesn't look quite so pleased] RG: In pro wrestling, one of the longest standing traditions of speciality matches has been the tag team match. RE: And how does that explain these ridiculous costumes you wanted us to wear? RG: Patience... I'm getting to that! [He sounded annoyed at first, but now he's back to being as pleasant as he can be.] RG: And when it comes to tag teams, well, who could ever forget the time when two pro wrestlers did more than just become a tag team... they became undercover police officers! Which explains our uniforms... for you see, Raymond and I have decided to become Undercover Brothers! RE: You mean, you decided this whole thing! Besides, if we are going undercover, we don't dress up to look like police officers... especially not a uniform that looks like this! RG: Raymond, you are ruining the moment. RE: I'll ruin whatever moments I want, because I'm not keeping this up! Besides, I'm supposed to be a referee, not a security guard! [Raymond storms off. Randy again looks annoyed, but he goes back to smiling soon enough.] RG: Well, looks like Raymond and I will have to work on our tag team bonding... and speaking of which, that is what you will all be doing today! Today's challenge is all about tag teams and bonding together as a team. Each of you will be paired with a partner and you will have to spend a full day together, learning how to come together as a unit. And then, we will find out tomorrow just how close you have become, as you will need to demonstrate your skills in a tag team match. And it will be important for you to bond well with your partner, because then, I will be the judge of how you have come together, not just in the ring, but outside it as well. Because the winning team will gain invincibility... that's right, two of you will be safe from being voted off on this show. To make things interesting, we're going to pair a male wrestler with a female wrestler... as it turns out, we have three of each sex, so this will be quite easily done. First of all, since Suzie Machina and Kevin McCabe have a little alliance going, we'll pair them together. And since I'm really sure things are peachy keen between Keisha Love and Jack Keening, the two of you can work together. That leaves Gabby RioPaah and American Freebear as the last team... or perhaps that would be Two Tons of Fun. [That went over like a lead balloon.] RG: Ahem... so, each of you will be assigned a specially designed cell block that is designed to look like a low-rent motel room. You will be provided with complimentary snacks and a continental breakfast tomorrow... the rest, though, you'll just have to get them from your own private cells before you take up residence in your new homes. Happy bonding to all of you! [And now we fade out... then get the words "A FEW HOURS LATER" appearing, after which we fade back in to our duos.] [TDW cameras are interviewing both Gabrielle RioPaah and the American Freebear from their shared cell block, trying to get updates on their special training for the upcoming challenge.] Freebear: I'm thinking of... Wild Kingdom in terms of tag team name. If absolutely nothing else, it's a marked improvement over my first tag team name I ever developed, the Big Fat Fuckers (the BFFs). RioPaah: Look, if you're inferring that I am a bit on the portly side, then we can just go for Imperialist Patriarchal Ponces as a team name. [Bonding... hasn't been such a success so far.] Freebear: At first I was kinda at a loss. I mean, I don't normally do tag teams, much less intergender ones. *WHEN* I do tag teaming, it's with wrestlers just as large as I am: make sure to bring the full fury of the South upon our foes like back when I was with the Hellbillies. At least she's "kinda" chunky so I suppose it could "almost" work out. RioPaah: ooooOOOOooohh. Well, the gloves are off now, eh? Look, mate: if you're willin' to look past the weight issues, I'm willing to look past the fact that your tits are bigger than mine, alright? Freebear: Ya see, the whole problem surrounding team training was finding common ground. Southern man turned flying bear meets Liverpool-educated Samoan princess: you just can't mash these things together! You need sense, you need stuff to relate to! RioPaah: We found a common fondness for headbutts. Freebear: That we did. [Cut to some previous footage obtained during training: RioPaah and Freebear headbutting each other. RioPaah and Freebear headbutting cinder blocks to pieces. RioPaah and Freebear practicing headbutts on anyone unlucky enought to cross their paths. RioPaah and Freebear actually synchronizing headbutts!] Freebear: You could even say that we're A-HEAD of the competiton!!! HO HO! RioPaah: Stick to your catchphrases, Freebear. Freebear: AND THIS BEAR YOU CANNOT CHANGE!!!! RioPaah: Excedrin headache #5000. What happens when you get lost in the Wild Kingdom! Freebear: THAT WORKS TOO! [Gabby suddenly puts her hands into Freebear's hair.] RioPaah: What do you use on your hair anyway? Freebear: Huh? RioPaah: How d'you such manageable hair? [We fade out to...] [The scene opens to the cellblock housing Keisha Love and Jack Keening. Keisha is sitting on one of the beds, clad in a tank top and boy-cut shorts, completing the look with tennis shoes. Her black hair falls straight down her back, bangs above her eyes. There is a less than pleased expression on the lovely, young woman’s face. In fact, she looks damned near incensed! Keisha’s legs are crossed and she taps her left foot rapidly, while feverishly working at her manicured nails with a file.] ??: Sooo ... you've been giving me the cold shoulder for a few minutes. We gonna discuss this or what? [With a sneer, Keisha turns towards the direction of the voice, her gaze landing on Jack Keening. Keisha fixes him with her most pissed off of glares before finally speaking.] Keisha: I just want to know why, Jack. Why would you screw up months of planning ... months of work to help those ... those... [She seems at a loss for words before standing to her feet in a huff and tossing the file on the ground, placing her hands on her hips.] Keisha: Pathetic idiots!?! We could have had this won. Me, you, and Simon. But you had to go and screw us all over. So, no. I’m not going to stay quiet, because I want answers, Jack! And they’d better be good or, so help me, you’re going to need to sleep with one eye open tonight! [Jack makes his way over to her, his hands up.] JK: Y'know, you're beautiful when you're angry. Reminds me of my Mona when we first tied the knot. [Keisha folds her arms across her chest, ignoring the compliment.] Keisha: I’m waiting. JK: Okay. Where to begin? Well, firstly, those “pathetic idiots” as you call them weren't really a concern, per se. I mean, true, I chatted with a couple of them and got them to vote Simon out... [Her eyes narrowing to hateful slits, Keisha starts to advance towards him.] JK: BUT! But ... that doesn't change the fact that what I did I did for my family. See, I never intended to follow Simon O'Neal like some lemming, doomed to drown myself in the ocean. O'Neal is poison, Keisha. He was trying to use me, he used you to further his own ends. He tormented my family! My cousin Jason, a man who is a DAMNED sight tougher than anybody in this competition, Simon drove Jason to distraction. I know he promised you victory, but the fact is that only one person can win this competition. I'm convinced that, if we hadn't gotten rid of him, that winner would've been Simon O'Neal. [Keisha sighs, shaking her head.] Keisha: Who’s to say that would have been true? Yeah, Simon was a snake. Everyone knows that. But he was _our_ snake and, regardless of what he’s done in the past, he had _our_ back. Getting rid of him was crazy. Now, those crackpots will be aiming for us big time! [She shakes her head again.] Keisha: This was the wrong time to play backstabber, Jack! JK: I'll tell you what. How about this? I am going to do something that Simon O'Neal would never have done; give you say in who _we_ vote off next time. Go ahead. Shoot. Anybody at all. Keisha: Anybody? [Keisha pauses for a moment, thinking it over.] Keisha: How about the man that _should_ have been gone, instead of Simon? I’m talking about McCabe. JK: Well ... I don't know if that's the best idea. I mean, McCabe has potential as a, y'know, tool. So, uhm, no, how about someone else? Anyone else? [Keisha’s eyes grow wide in alarm.] Keisha: What do you mean “no”? You said anyone. JK: Well, see, I was kind of hoping we could work with McCabe. [Keisha lets out a shriek, clearly incensed.] Keisha: Oh my God! You want us to work with the man that helped get Simon out!?! [her eyes narrow] Wait a minute. Are the two of you working together already!?! Have you been playing us from the start!?! [She glares at Jack, and the Keening family's “Black Sheep” gives an ever-growing and increasingly sheepish concerned grin.] JK: Well, not from the _start_. See, I-- Keisha: Damn you, Jack! Nobody makes a fool out of me! Nobody! [She advances on him again when Jack speaks.] JK: Ut-ut, whoa, hold on there. Keisha, listen to reason. If you end our alliance now, where does that leave you? I've always been loyal to you, loyal in general. On your own, no allies, with enemies all around, conspiring against you? I'm all you _have_. [Keisha pauses, listening to what he has to say. Ultimately, she slumps back on the bunk, defeated.] Keisha: [sighs] This is crazy…all of it. But you’re right. You are all I have, no matter how much I am loathe to admit that! [She once again turns towards him, shooting him a look of pure venom.] Keisha: And we have to win this event. So, I’ll work with you. But so help me, Jack, if you betray me again, I will freakin’ kill you! [Awkward silence. Cut.] [The camera fades in and you see one of the famous cell blocks you have come to love at Total Drama Wrestling. Except this time it is different it looks like a low-rent motel. You inside what you believe is the living area and then you hear a noise coming from the other room. The camera quickly goes into the next room and you see Kevin McCabe who seems to have trashed the bedroom area as the mattress is on the ground, the lamp is broken in two and the end table is on it side. Kevin seems to have lost his Irish temper as he begins to speak ...] Kevin McCabe: "I can't believe you would do this to me. I can't believe you would go behind my back and form an alliance with Freebear and Gabby. So tell me why you did it Suzie?" [All of a sudden Suzie walks out from what is believed the bathroom area. Suzie looks at Kevin and says nothing. This only pisses McCabe off more... ] Kevin McCabe: "Well are you gonna say anything. Was this your master plan from the get go?" [Suzie sighs as she tries to gather her thoughts. After an uncomfortable pause, she begins to speak.] SM: Kevin, I never wanted to go behind your back, but I had no choice. Freebear and Gabby wanted me to keep things secret, and I had to do everything I could to keep that carnival of a plan from going south. If I could have told you, I would. Remember that if I hadn't done what I did then you wouldn't be here right now, so don't give me any crap about me betraying you. [McCabe looks unconvinced.] Kevin McCabe: "And if it wasn't for me punishing everyone in the Lumberjack Match you would of never won immunity. So don't give me the bullshit that your saved my ass last week. Since Total Drama Wrestling opened it's door I had your back and you know where my loyalty lays. My question is where exactly is your head?" SM: Look. I'm still in this with you. I'm only working with the others as long as I need them. Trust me, Kevin, and you and I will be the final two. Kevin McCabe: "Suzie, you want me to trust you then let's go out there and win immunity. That way neither of us are in danger. Does that work for you?" SM: Sounds like a plan. Now, we need to start planning out some double-teams... [As they start strategizing the camera cuts away.] [We then go to Randy Grant.] RG: Looks like everyone is getting along just fine. [Chuckling] But don't let me tell you that... I'm sure each of our participants can verify that! [And now, we fade to black... up come the words "THE NEXT DAY" and then we fade in...] [The American Freebear is seen cracking his knuckles from inside his cell block, a smile curling up beneath his thick fuzzy beard. This is the result of someone telling him what this week's competition would be.] "You mean we're finally gonna start WRESTLING??? For reals?" [Other contestants might not be smiling as much.] "S'ABOUT TIME!!! More than anything, what I miss most here is the actual fightin': the roar of the crowd, slaming your foe into the mat and of course, the feelin' ya get when you're free-fallin' from above, floating in the sky for the scant few seconds before unleashing terrible fury upon whatever luckless loser is still on the ground. Jack Keening don't know nothin' about this. The dollied-up divas here don't get it either. I'm a WRESTLER. I wanna do what I came here to do." [We also explained to the American Freebear that this was a TAG TEAM contest, with his partner being Gabrielle RioPaah. Then we told him that he would be judged upon his merit as a tag partner, and on how well he can mesh with her to form a cohesive team.] "What do you mean, "mesh"?" [Uhhhhg.] "I'm kidding of course, she ain't exactly my type. Like I said, the Flyin' Ursine don't care about the modalities of the operation as long as he gets to KICK ASS! As long as he gets to FLY! The American Freebear wants back into that ring; bringing the thunder from up above, coming down like big furry lightning: I'm returning to the ring and this bear you cannot change!" [And with that, the American Freebear "storms" off to find his tag partner for the night, roaring as he passes! We'll find him soon enough again after training begins...] [Cut to Gabby RioPaah’s oddly well-appointed cell. She is her usual taciturn self with unruly black hair and three-quarter length tights. But she is also wearing a rather unflattering black t-shirt one size too small for her with a picture of Neil Young’s “Tonight’s The Night” album cover on the front.] GABBY: Of course they stick me with the rabid patriarchal imperialist swine. [She consults her nearby dictionary.] GABBY: Er… Not “swine.” “Ursine.” [Anyway…] GABBY: I mean, Freebear and myself have each others’ allegiance, coz we are allies in alliances. Not like we’re friends, eh? I mean, one of us is a dirty savage where people live in horrendous accommodations without clean drinking water. If people receive any education at all the quality is atrocious. There’s constant danger from being eaten alive by the wildlife, women are treated as possessions, and superstition runs rampant to the point where it’s literally hell on earth… [Punchline in 3… 2… 1…] GABBY: …And the other one of us is Samoan. [The scene opens to Keisha Love, standing in front of the TDW banner. She’s wearing a white, spaghetti-strap, tank top and black, boy-cut shorts. She also wears a pair of tennis shoes, her long, black hair pulled back and styled in a ponytail. She folds her arms across her chest and frowns, quite obviously displeased with her current situation.] Keisha: Do I trust him? [She flashes her most irritated of glares.] Keisha: What do you think!?! I don’t trust Jack as far as I can throw him! But he was right, when he said that he’s all I’ve got. Without him, I’m surrounded by morons and imbeciles. So, I’ll make the best of it and work with him, even though he helped put a big ol’ dagger in my back at the last show! [She sighs, her expression softening.] Keisha: Despite all of that, I’m still confident about our odds. Unlike some of these other people, Jack and I at least have a past of working together. Plus, I can’t think of anyone that wants…no…needs this win more than us. Because, if we don’t walk out with immunity, we’ll just get picked off by these mouth breathers. And I’ll be damned if I let that happen! They don’t deserve the satisfaction. [She lets out another frustrated sigh.] Keisha: Anyway, I’ve got to get out of here. Jack and I some last minute strategizing. I’ll see you later. [Fade out.] [We find Suzie Machina sitting in front of a TDW backdrop, looking pensive.] SM: Me and Kevin have been allies since early on, so it's really a stroke of luck that we were paired together. I don't know why he doesn't trust me all of a sudden. I saved his ass last time. [Machina goes for a smoke, but of course she doesn't have any on the show. She bites her lip.] SM: Still, things are going pretty well. He's not someone I'd like to have a long-term tag team with... not like that would even be an option, seeing as how it's an intergender team... but he's a decent enough wrestler. It's just a question of whether he can. [The camera fades in and you see Kevin McCabe standing in front of the Total Drama Wrestling backdrop and he looks like he has a lot on his mind. Kevin has this far away look in his mind meaning either he is gonna hurt someone this week or he has a lot of things going on inside his head. Kevin begins to speak...] Kevin McCabe: "So not one but two people will have immunity this week. All you have to do is show everyone you can get along with you partner and hit a couple of double team moves. Sounds easy enough right? WRONG ..." "This is called Total Drama Wrestling for a reason and boy is there gonna be a lot of drama this week ... After finding out I am teaming with Machina some may consider us the front runner to walk away with immunity but I would not agree. Machina showed last week she is in this for herself and only herself. Many things can happen in this type of match. I have to wonder if Suzie will even care about winning immunity this week since now she has the numbers on her side with Freebear and Gabby on her side. And let's face it if they wanted to they could pick Love, Keening and myself off one by one. Should I stop worrying bout Suzie's in all the challenge and stop looking over my shoulder to make sure she isn't in trouble?" "What will I do in this tag match? Will I work together with Suzie? Should I walk out on her? Can I really trust Machina? You really want to know what I am gonna do well you gonna have to stay tuned to see exactly I have planned for this tag match ..." [Kevin flashes that sadistic smile of his as the camera fades ...] [And then we cut to a ring set up in the gymnasium. The six participants are already there and standing in the ring are two masked wrestlers. Raymond Elbert is there, dressed in his referee's uniform. Randy Grant stands just outside the ring, smiling as only he can.] RG: I take it your tag team bonding sessions went well. [The grumbling from some of the participants might indicate otherwise.] RG: Well, whether they did or not, it's time for all of you to show what you can do against our volunteers in the ring at this time, Mr. Anonymous and Mr. E. They have been brought here to be your opponents. So let's see what you all can do... and we're gonna start with Keening and Love. Have fun! TAG TEAM BONDING: JACK KEENING AND KEISHA LOVE The so-called way a relationship should work is the man takes control and the woman follows him. In this case, though, Jack Keening was anything but willing to take control. Even with this masked duo not doing anything out of the ordinary, Jack was more content to beg off and call for time outs, forcing Keisha Love to take control of things. Love seemed more eager, though, to just show who was the better member of the team than being willing to work with Jack. After taking a back body drop and begging off, Jack opted to tag in Love, who took control quickly against Mr. Anonymous and motioned to Jack to set up a double suplex. But Jack instead opted to kick Mr. A between the legs. Later in the match, Mr. E approached Jack as he begged off, only for Love to come off the top rope with a missile dropkick. Later in the match, both masked wrestlers opted to go for a double team, but as they went after Jack, Love pulled Mr. E aside and seduced him. This allowed Jack to give Mr. A a low blow, then toss him through the ropes. Another low blow followed for Mr. E, after which Jack DDT'ed the masked wrestler, and that allowed Keisha to hit her corkscrew moonsault to get the pinfall. RG: Well, nice to see how two wrestlers can get their styles to mesh well... I can only imagine how Keisha might have worked teaming with Simon O'Neal. [He chuckles at the thought of stirring up dissension.] RG: But we don't have time to think about that pairing... because we want to see the pairing of American Freebear and Gabby RioPaah in action! After all, they seem to have that animal magnetism thing going! TAG TEAM BONDING: AMERICAN FREEBEAR AND GABBY RIOPAAH These two called themselves the Wild Kingdom... and to say it was wild in the ring would be an understatement. Really, though, what this seemed to turn into was a headbutting contest. Mr. Anonymous and Mr. E were the recipients of repeated headbutts... quite possibly setting a record for one move being used in one match. But it wasn't just headbutts that made their way into the match. Freebear showed off his ability to dropkick an opponent, as well as as spinning mule kick that demonstrated both his aggressivness and agility. And RioPaah Exploder suplex and super backdrop driver were both quite devastating... although whether such moves did as much damage to the head as the repeated headbutts the two used is debatable. What wasn't debatable was that these two proved a force to reckon with. And when it came to the end of the match, Mr. E was out cold outside the ring... evidently from one headbutt too many... as Freebear slammed Mr. A as RioPaah went to the top rope. Freebear then scaled the turnbuckles himself as RioPaah came flying through the air with a moonsault... and that was followed by her rolling out of the way for Freebear's turn at a moonsault, and the pinfall was academic. RG: Wow, that match just gave new meaning to the phrase "using your head." [He shrugs.] RG: I don't write them, I just say them, folks. And now I say it's time we see what Suzie Machina and Kevin McCabe can do together... will their alliance be good enough to pull out the win today? I'll be the judge of that, of course! TAG TEAM BONDING: KEVIN MCCABE AND SUZIE MACHINA There seemed to be a bit of tension between McCabe and Machina, but as the match progressed, they seemed to be working better. Not that it mattered, given that Mr. Anonymous and Mr. E had already taken two beatings and were simply there to take a third. And a beating was indeed what was in store for the two masked wrestlers, with Machina dazzling the competition with her high-impact moves and quick strikes, combined with sheer brutality from McCabe. At one point, McCabe hoisted Machina up and threw her like a dart toward both masked wrestlers, then later, McCabe hoisted up Mr. A for a flapjack, with Machina coming in to deliver a lungblower on the way down. McCabe would later hoist Mr. E up onto his shoulders as Machina came off with a leg lariat.. a modified Doomsday Device might be what some would call it. What everyone would call this, though, was pure domination despite each partner casting a wary eye at the other... but when Machina went for a sunset flip on Mr. E, McCabe came charging forward with a big boot to ensure Mr. E went down, thus resulting in the three count. After the match, McCabe and Machina stared each other down, with McCabe offering a hand. Machina accepted, but then McCabe snapped, yanking Machina forward and hitting a powerbomb in the corner. RG: Wow... looks like somebody had some difficulty with the bonding process. [He cracks a grin.] RG: But hey, partners not getting along is as much a staple of tag team wrestling as is bonding together. Still... I can't imagine what McCabe may have been thinking. Because with all due respect to the principle that controversy equals ratings, the purpose of this exercise was to bond together as a tag team... so I really can't declare McCabe and Machina the winners. [He turns to the other duos.] RG: As for the rest of you... Keening and Love... gotta say you two had a good grasp of how your roles were in your tag team. Even if you may not be entirely happy with each other, you did have a certain chemistry that was quite enjoyable. [Dramatic pause.] RG: But as impressive as that was, it wasn't as impressive as the headbutt showcase demonstrated by Freebear and RioPaah... and I've gotta say, Wild Kingdowm is a far superior name to Two Tons of Fun. So congratulations to the Wild Kingdom... they are the winners and get invincibility! [Freebear and RioPaah celebrate as only they know how... by headbutting each other.] RG: As for the rest of you... the vote awaits. One of you will no longer be with us... best of luck! [Raymond Elbert finally comes into the picture.] RE: What do you want to do about our chosen victims? RG: Mr. Anonymous and Mr. E? Eh... not my problem. And not yours, either, Raymond. We've got prime rib waiting for us for dinner and it's getting cold. [Fade out.] |
| "Just as I discovered the meaning of life, it changed." -- George Carlin | |
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7:24 PM Jul 10