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| Evergreen States Grand Prix Presents; Nor'western Tournament Night 1, part 1 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 3 2010, 11:04 PM (355 Views) | |
| Picky | May 3 2010, 11:04 PM Post #1 |
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Now let us retreat wench, for tonight, we feast on snobbery...
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Emerald States Grand Prix Presents: "The Nor'Western Commemorative Tag Tournament" April 17-18 (Saturday & Sunday) 1976 Night One: Memorial Coliseum, Portland Oregon Attendance: 8,788 (near capacity; 9,000 tickets sold) Your host is the "Voice of the Cascades" Francis Barrister and, for the one of the few times in ESGP pre-1993, a color commentator Everett Terwilliger. Barrister and Terwilliger talk about the bunting, lighting and overall presentation for the Nor'Western Tournament. Barrister is really impressed by the Nor'Western Cup, which is made from silver and will have the winners names engraved on its stand. Terwilliger is more impressed by the cheerleaders. Barrister is wearing a green and gold suit while Barrister is wearing a red and black suit (the colors of the Supersonics and Trail Blazers respectively). More banter about the expansion Seattle Seahawks and soon to be Seattle Mariners and how, despite the incursion of these new franchises, how ESGP will remain the premiere sporting attraction in the Pacific Northwest. Commissioner Pat Barker is center stage, dressed to the nines in a black tuxedo. The head of the ESGP has a giant board behind him and he reveals the tag team seedings and the first round match ups to wild applause! 01. Dixie Irregulars (Alvie Blake & Montgomery Hicks - HWA) 02. South Pacific Tidal Waves (Kila Ki'aihua & Pago Pago - ESGP) 03. The Black Knights (Nigel Knight & Bartholomew Kingsley - NEG) 04. Slick & Sleek (Jerome Slick & Ervin Sleek - BCW) 05. Navy Jack and The Bowery Kid (HRW - England) 06. The Volunteers (Jimmy Owns & Robert Spivey - SPW) 07. Tornado Honda & Mr. Crash (NUF) 08. Rolling Thunder (Johnny Sinclair & Paul Lamont - Canada) 09. Jack Britain & Bart Batterson (GGO) 10. The Style Council (Remy Style & Ray-Ray Rodgers - BAW) 11. The Oriental Masters (Karate Master I & II - Far East) 12. El Magnifico & Eduardo Ramirez (Mexico) 13. The Night Stalkers (Night Stalker 1 & 2 - SPW) 14. Red Alert (Jimmy Falcone & Rex Hawke - Amsterdam) 15. Ultra Commandos (Super Commando & Mega Commando - Free Agents) 16. Yakima Nation Rising (Joseph Takesgun & Chet Featheronwind - ESGP) The possible match ups really got the crowd buzzing so Commissioner Barker went into the first round match ups straight away: 01. Dixie Irregulars 16. Yakima Nation Rising 05. Navy Jack and The Bowery Kid 12. El Magnifico & Eduardo Ramirez 07. Tornado Honda & Mr. Crash 10. The Style Council 03. The Black Knights 14. Red Alert Sky Blue Bracket 02. South Pacific Tidal Waves 15. Ultra Commandos 06. The Volunteers 11. The Oriental Masters 08. Rolling Thunder 09. Jack Britain & Bart Batterson 04. Slick and Sleek 13. The Night Stalkers The audience was dying for the matches to start when the Dixie Irregulars ("Darlin'" Alvie Blake & "Genteel" Montgomery Hicks /w Ginny Souter) and South Pacific Tidal Waves (Kila Ki'aihua & Pago Pago w/ The Witch Doctor and Slave Girl Lala) came down to the ring. A stare down in the middle of the ring, with the ESGP Northwestern States Tag Champions towering over the smaller Irregulars, but the Irregulars standing their ground. Barrister tells those watching at home that a coin flip will determine which of the top two seeds gets to decide the order of the matches. The Witch Doctor tries to put some hex on Ginny, but the Mad Man of Stone Mountain just grins and calls heads, winning the flip. Ginny then tells the crowd his boys "ain't no cowards" and are ready to tussle right here, right now, meaning they are going straight down the list, from 1 vs. 16 down to 9 vs. 8. Those in attendance howl and Francis Barrister can barely be heard as August delaCroix announces the team coming to the ring, underdog fan favorites the Yakima Nation Rising (Joseph Takesgun & Chet Featheronwind). True to their statement, the Irregulars are ready and urge YNR and the crowd to bring the challenge. ROUND ONE, MATCH ONE: #1 The Dixie Irregulars (Alvie Blake & Montomgery Hicks) vs. #16 Yakima Nation Rising (Joseph Takesgun & Chet Featheronwind) Straight up brawling at first, with Blake going after Featheronwind while Hicks and Takesgun follow suit. Both teams rely on fast paced, aerial styles with not much power but lots of technique. After the referee finally gains control, Blake and Hicks cut off Takesgun for about 6 minutes before Joe makes a hot tag to Chet. Featheronwind is on fire and manages to airplane toss Hicks to puncuate his stand. Takesgun looks exahuasted and is bleeding from the forhead while Hicks has welts all over chest from the chops he's taken. YNR begins beating down on Hicks and Takesgun is about to launch himself for the body splash from the top rope when Hicks manages to move and roll to his corner, tagging Blake. Blake does the jumping pile driver while Hicks is able to trip Chet and the Irregulars advance to round two. Winners - Dixie Irregulars via pinfall (Jumping Pile Driver @ 13:44) Barrister and Terwilliger comment on the handshake the Irregulars and YNR have at the end of the match, showing just how important this tag team tournament is, considering the war the two had just a year ago in the Great Plains. Barrister reminds everyone that anything can happen and that the seeds are not guaranteed victors while Terwilliger says they pretty much are sure things. ROUND ONE, MATCH TWO: #5 Navy Jack & The Bowery Kid vs #12 El Magnifico & Eduardo Ramirez Rue Britannia is played by request of the English wrestlers while the Mexican duo just flies at them as soon as they hit the ring. Lucha libre versus straight up British fisticuffs. Navy Jack overpowers El Magnifico and begins to do what he does best: beat the starch out of someone. European uppercuts and kicks along with simple slams cause El Magnifico to rush a tag to Ramirez. The English pair don't look too impressed with Ramirez's chubby form but the man is much more athletic than given credit for and he twists Navy Jack into knots before doing the same to a tagged Bowery Kid. The kid goes for a cheapshot but Ramirez turns it into a magistral cradle and a shocking upset win! Winners - El Magnifico & Eduardo Ramirez via pinfall (Magistral Cradle @ 9:30) Barrister reminds us that the next big, cross promotional event is the Barrows Corral Invitational Tournament, with a $3,000 top prize. The "Voice of the Cascades" predicts Carman Olathe will walk away with that money since he's the toughest man west of the Rockies. Terwilliger calls him a fat hobo. ROUND ONE, MATCH THREE: #7 Tornado Honda & Mr. Crash vs. #10 The Style Council (Remy Style & "Members Only" Ray-Ray Rodgers) This match is really short, Remy Style and Ray-Ray immediately jump Honda and Mr. Crash as soon as the reach the ring. The teams just fist fight and throw each other around the outside. Mr. Crash decides to grab a chair and blast the big Ray-Ray Rodgers, almost getting his team disqualified. Rodgers is busted open and Tornado Honda has been throw over the guard rail. Style and Mr. Crash beat the living tar out of one another, bleeding all over the mat, until Remy believes he has Mr. Crash done. The masked Mr. Crash fakes out Remy, and as Style is about to go for a big elbow from the top rope, Crash hits him in the stomach and the yellow clad Mr. Crash delivers a crowd frenzying super suplex, something the audience did not think they would see. The ring shakes and Mr. Crash manages to pin Style. Another course of applause and chants as both teams lay exhausted. Everett says that Mr. Crash is the wave of the future, with his reckless disregard for his body and that Honda is going to get kids emulating his speedy wrestling style. Barrister believes Ray-Ray Rodgers is pretty badly hurt, but "Members Only" manages a thumbs up as he is wheeled out by the medical staff. Winner: Tornado Honda & Mr. Crash via pinfall (Super Suplex @ 7:39) ROUND ONE, MATCH FOUR: #3 The Black Knights (Nigel Knight & Bartholomew Kingsley) vs. #14 Red Alert (Jimmy Falcone & Rex Hawke) The technical masters, Nigel Knight and Bartholomew Kingsley, sneered at their opponents, Jimmy Falcone and Rex Hawke. Reputation wise, this match heavily favored the NEG tag team champions. Red Alert is seen by most observers as out classed and second rate, more roster filler than true competition for belts. However, the cocksure cornerstone of New England Grappling ended up being the biggest upset of the night. The Knights played their game, slowing the match down and working on the larger Rex Hawke, but Bartholomew Kingsley missed a high cross body block and actually hits the turnbuckles hard, obviously injurying his shoulder. Nigel does his best but it is two on one for much of the match and Nigel finally gives up the ghost and is Double DDT'd down as Red Alert pulls off a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge upset. Winners - Red Alert via pinfall (Double DDT @ 12:13) The audience is shocked, but they are not out of energy. They are clapping really hard and stomping their feet. The Black Knights look pissed, but they shake hands, like every team has in this tournament, and Red Alert basks in their advancement. Barrister is beside himself, noting the #3 seed in the tournament is now gone. Everett wonders why the 3 seed is in the same bracket as the 1 seed and the 2 is in with the 4. As Barrister is about to explain we get part of an episode of Pryor's Place from CBS. The tape then goes back to Everett nodding his head and saying: that makes sense. ROUND ONE, MATCH FIVE: #2 South Pacific Tidal Waves (Kila Ki'aihua & Pago Pago w/ The Witch Doctor and Slave Girl Lala) vs. #15 Ultra Commandos (Super Commando & Mega Commando) Pago Pago, the Maori, begins the match with a haka that the Hawaiian Kila Ki'aihua joins in doing. The two stick their tongues out at Super and Mega Commando. The bell rings and the ring shakes as the big men are all out for blood. Brutal bites, throws, punches, slams, brawling outside the ring, blood flowing everywhere, ring posts, ring steps, bones nearly broken and joints are almost ripped out of their sockets. There is nothing close to a normal wrestling match. A small part of the crowd chants: BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD while most gasp. This is primal, old fashioned brutality. Finally, when Pago Pago has Mega Commando in an Asiatic Spike, Mega Commando cannot keep his arm up a third time, blood loss finally getting to him. The audience is in shock but there is a loud, faction that makes their love of this violence known. Again, sportsmanship is somehow shown despite both teams known for being brutal beasts. Winners - South Pacific Tidal Waves via submission (New Zealand Hand of Death @ 12:01) The mat is bloody but the fans are hungry for more. Commissioner Barker comes out and tells the audience that every ticket sold out and the attendance is officially at 9,000 elated wrestling fans, a sold out house. Real nice round of applause and Barrister says this next match should keep everyone happy. ROUND ONE, MATCH SIX: #6 The Volunteers (Jimmy Owens & Robert Spivey) vs. #11 The Oriental Masters (Karate Master I & II /w Ching the Mastermind) Tennessee's own Volunteers come out from the back to a rawkus chorus of cheers. They are beloved fan favorites from way back when, even having a stint in the ESGP. "We Love You Jimmy" and "Spivey Rules, OK" shouts are heard. Owens flies the "Stars & Bars" while Spivey waves the Tennesse state flag. Meanwhile, from the audience, comes the evil team of Karate Master I & II. The duo look like they are going to sneak attack the Volunteers, but instead the Volunteers catch them. Jimmy takes KM I down southern style, with lots of rope work and flying fore arms galore. Spivey and Owens keep doing smoothe double teaming, managing to keep the Karate Masters off their martial arts game plan. The ladies swoon and the Tennessee duo make it look easy and end things with a double drop kick. Winners - The Volunteers via pinfall (Rockytop Tussle @ 10:00) Barrister and Terwilliger both agree that the ladies in the house may need a break after the heartthrob Volunteers came in and took names. ROUND ONE, MATCH SEVEN: #8 Rolling Thunder (Johnny Sinclair & Paul Lamont) vs. #9 Jack Britain & Bart Batterson The Canadians get a warm welcome as to Britian and Batterson. The two teams shake hands in the middle of the ring to start the match and what we have here is an old fashioned chain wrestling show. Barrister notes it would have been incredible if either of these teams had faced off against the Black Knights. Lamont dazzles with his flying, hitting splashes, dropkicks and even a flip! Sinclair and Britain go strength on strength, shaking the ring with hard hammerthrows, slams and tests of strength. Eventually, a missed cross body by Lamont gives Britian and Batterson enough time to hit a flapjack and Britain cuts off Sinclair. Great applause and another handshake. Winners - Jack Britain & Bart Batterson via pinfall (flapjack @ 13:13) Bannister talks about the reputations of all the teams and how they were selected from the greatest tag teams in the world. Everett comments that if that were then case, why were "Big Timer" Teddy Johnstone and "KING" Cobb not allowed to enter. Bannister said because Cobb probably ate his invitation. Rare moment of snarkiness from the "Voice of the Cascades". ROUND ONE, MATCH EIGHT: #4 Slick and Sleek (Jerome "Black Velvet" Slick & Ervin "Pearly White" Sleek) vs. #13 The Night Stalkers (Night Stalker I & II) Suddenly, music fills the Memorial Coliseum as "Love Rollercoaster" by The Ohio Players blares over the PA. Looking fresh in fur coats, big sunglasses and feathered hats come out Jerome "Black Velvet" Slick and Ervin "Pearly White" Sleek, the Big City Wrestling tag team champions, better known as Slick and Sleek. Wolfman Jack is heard also, saying: "Ladies and Gentleman, let's welcome those bad, bad men: Sllllllllllllllllllick and Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Slick and Sleek slap hands with the fans, urge them to get off their butts and on their feet, somehow whipping the audience into a higher state of appreciation. The two stand on opposite turnbuckles and the people get even louder. Bannister and Terwilliger are near speechless but appreciate the amazing crowd popping skills of Big City Wrestling's bread and butter tag team. The Night Stalkers slink in and II cold cocks Sleek with a chain and tosses it out of the ring. Not so fast, tricky, as Slllllllllllllllllllllick does a beautiful leg drop and tosses his coat to flummox Night Stalker I. Slick rolls his partner on the apron, checking on his condition, before cracking his knuckles and showing these ladies how they do things downtown. The Night Stalkers are booed but the big man, Slick, literally beats the black outfits off of them as he is a burning furnance of revenge. Sleek finally comes to and the duo combine for their double big boot: Funk Station Zebra on the Planet Lovetronic 6000. People are already buzzing about the possibility of a Volunteers vs. Slick and Sleek match up. Winners - Slick and Sleek via pinfall (Funk Station Zebra on the Planet Lovetronic 6000 @ 8:22) Commissioner Barker comes out and is immediately greeted by the celebrating Slick and Sleek. Barker announces an intermission and tells people where they can buy merchandise, get autographs or concessions. The ESGP logo flashes and the tape pauses... |
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Have I told you how much I loathe your continued existence today? Proud member of the Quote Pyramid Builders Union Local #317 | |
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7:23 PM Jul 10