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| Amuro Balsa meets Mononoke & Bizarro NEO; Long Strange RP from NEO 2001 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 26 2010, 01:30 AM (395 Views) | |
| texanspaniard | Aug 26 2010, 01:30 AM Post #1 |
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The Luther Burger
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I was talking to Terry about some of the bad things I did while handling Amuro Balsa in NEO cos I was still doing WWA style and didn't know that it wasn't cool outside of WWA yet. But as I read this again I'm like, I must share the horror with all! So enjoy but be warned, this is a really, really long RP! HANDLER'S WARNING: The following RP has A LOT of tribute to the movie Princess Mononoke and gives away A LOT of plot points and so forth. If you have never seen the movie and don't want any spoilers then DO NOT READ THIS RP! Thanks! (Scene opens to a shot of downtown in some big city somewhere at night. "Moonlighting" by Al Jarreau begins to play as we see crowds of people walk the streets. The shot pans the crowd and we see Amuro Balsa, dressed in his black overcoat, black button up shirt, black jeans, black shoes and black beret on his head, with his face pressed against the window of a store as he stares at a navy blue sweater inside the store. The store is closed.) Amuro:................ (Amuro pulls away from the window) Amuro: (Sighs) (Amuro gets a sad look on his face) Amuro: (Sighs) (A homeless man comes walking along. He walks up to Amuro.) Homeless Man: Hey, Mister...Can I get a quater? (Amuro looks at the Homeless man.) Amuro: A quater? Oh..Sure.. (Amuro pulls out a 20 Dollar Bill and hands it to the Homeless Man. The Homeless Man eyes it with wide eyes.) Homeless Man: Wow! Twenty Dollars!! Thanks Mister! Amuro: De Nada De Nada! (Amuro turns back to sighing at the window of the store. The Homeless Man begins to walk away but can't help noticing the sighs and turns back towards Amuro.) Homeless Man: Say..Is something wrong Mister? (Amuro forces a smile) Amuro: Oh..It's nothing... (His smile falls and Amuro..) Amuro: (Sighs) Homeless Man: What's the matter fella'? Something in the store you want to buy? They'll open tomorow! Amuro: Oh it's not that it's just...Memories....(sighs) (The Homeless Man scratches his head) Homeless Man: Memories? Did you lose a wife or something? (Amuro pulls a face) Amuro: What? No! Hahaha! No! I'm not married! Homeless Man: What is it then? What are you looking at? Amuro: That navy blue sweater...(Sighs) Homeless Man: (shrugs) What so uppity special about a navy blue sweater? Amuro: It reminds me of a librarian... (Homeless man pulls a face) Homeless Man: A librarian? You're into old ladies or something? Amuro: No...The city Library's Librarian... (Homeless man gets an excited look) Homeless Man: You mean that Fine Looking 25 year old Librarian who wears the Navy Blue Sweater and the long grey dress and has short black hair and lives in the apartment building on the outskirts of town and takes showers with her bathroom window open? (Amuro drops to his knees and begins to bawl.) Amuro: YES!! She lures me to my window to watch but....SHE ALWAYS THROWS HER SHOE AT ME!!! (Amuro bawls as the Homeless Man shakes his head) Homeless Man: That's a shame...You should see when she washes her feet... (Amuro bawls louder) Homeless Man: It's TRULY one of the GREATEST sights God has ever blessed this earth with! Well I'm off to spend your money! (Amuro sniffles and waves to the Homeless Man) Amuro: Alright...(sniffs)..Enjoy yourself...(sniffs) (The Homeless Man walks off as Amuro pulls himself up and straightens himself out.) Amuro: Be...Be Brave...El Cid..El Cid...We just have to walk a little further and we'll be at the apartment and..then...We just must...Resist...THE TEMPTATION... (sighs)..To watch... (Amuro takes a deep breath and then begins to walk on his way as the music fades out when suddenly...) *BOOM* Amuro: Huh? (Another apartment building has just had an...EXPLOSION!! Fire and smoke fume out from the top as a crowd quickly gathers. Amuro watches the fire with wide eyes) Amuro: FUEGO! FUEGO!!! (Amuro runs into the crowd and wiggles his way to the front to watch the fiery spectacle.) Amuro: Oh No! This is horrible! There could be people in there!! (Suddenly A Woman appears at a window and the crowd begins to make excited noise.) Woman: HELP! HELP! SAVE ME!! (Amuro's eyes go wide) Amuro: She's..She's..MUY BONITA!!! (Amuro leaps out infront of the crowd) Amuro: SENORITA!! I WILL COME SAVE YOU!!! (Amuro looks back at the crowd) Amuro: Come on guys! Let's rescue the Lovely Senorita! Who's with me? (Everyone in the crowd shakes thier heads No and step back. Amuro's eyes widen) Amuro: But the Senorita is in peril!! (Everyone shrugs) Woman: SAVE ME!!! (Amuro looks up at her) Amuro: DON'T WORRY SENORITA!! I'M COMING!! (Amuro begins to run up the safety stairs along the outside of the building. Amuro looks up at the Woman as he runs up and Joe Bean Esposito's "You're The Best Around" begins to play.) Amuro: TRY TO GET OUT OF THE WINDOW AND ONTO THE SAFETY STAIRS SO I CAN MEET YOU AND CARRY YOU DOWN!! Woman: Ok... (The Woman begins to drag herself out of the window when suddenly...THE UPPER PART OF THE SAFETY STAIRS COLLAPSE!! Amuro stops in his tracks and ducks as a huge section of Saftey Stairs falls off the building and towards the crowd below.) Amuro: Oh No...Now I can't get to the Senorita!!! (Amuro stands up and stares up. The Woman looks down at him. From her to him is about a 20 foot drop.) Woman: WHAT DO WE DO?!! (Amuro looks down and ponders excitedly then looks back up) Amuro: WHY DON'T YOU LEAP OUT THE WINDOW INTO MY ARMS!! I'LL CATCH YOU!!! (The Woman gets a scared look on her face) Woman: I don't know...EEEEEEEEEEEEK!! Amuro: WHAT'S WRONG? Woman: THE FIRE'S GETTING CLOSER!!! Amuro: THEN JUMP TO ME!! WE HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE!!! Woman: ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN CATCH ME?!! Amuro: SI!! JUST LEAP!!! HURRY!!! (The Woman looks around then begins to climb out of the window.) Amuro: THAT'S IT!! Woman: HERE I GO!!! (The Woman leaps off) Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.... Amuro: Yes! Come to... *CRASH* (The Woman flattens Amuro!! The music stops abruptly.) Amuro: M-me... (Amuro's head turns sideways as he passes out. The Woman stands up and looks out to the crowd who are mostly injured or dead from the stairs falling on them and (Censored) not mentioning a word about their fate in that sequence of this RP that YOU are reading.) Woman: I'm alive...I'M ALIVE!!! (The Woman runs down to the applauding crowd who carry her off like a hero. Meanwhile Amuro lays motionless on the safety stairs. We zoom in on his face and suddenly things get blurry letting us know that we are now entering Amuro's Dream! We fade to fuzziness...) (The Fuzziness fades into a shot of a Red Elk's hoofs running through the woods. The shot pans up and we see Amuro dressed in Samurai Era Japan hunter clothes. His clothes are blue and he has a red hood. Amuro is asleep ontop of the Red Elk he is riding. Amuro begins to wake up. He sits up startled.) Amuro: AIEEEE!! I'm...I'm... (Amuro looks down at the Elk and at the woods around him) Amuro: I'm riding a Red Elk?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! (Amuro and the Red Elk come riding out of the woods into a field. Three young women come running up to them. The Elk stops and Amuro looks down at the Young Women quizzingly. The women are dressed in similar garb to Amuro.) Young Woman #1: Something bad is coming isn't there? (Amuro's eyes begin to widen) Young Woman #2: Oracle has called all the people of the village into her house! (Amuro's Eyes get wider) Young Woman #3: The Old Man is still watching at the tower! (Amuro's eyes become like saucers) Amuro: Th-Three...Beautiful Senoritas...HAHAHAHAHA!! I'VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN!!! Young Woman #1: Baka! This is no time for jokes! Go to the old man and talk to him! Amuro: Wait but... (The Red Elk takes off and Amuro holds on for his life as the Red Elk runs. Amuro looks down at the elk) Amuro: Tonto!! I was trying to hook up!! (The Red Elk runs to a lookout tower made of wood. There is an old man sitting at the top inside the lookout center. Amuro looks up.) Amuro: Hola Senor! Como Estas? (The old man looks down) Old Man: Climb up here Quickly! Take a look! Amuro: Ah..Si... (Amuro looks around, spots the ladder and climbs up to the old man. The Old Man beckons Amuro closer) Old Man: It's coming... Amuro: Ah..What's coming? Old Man: Something...Something bad... Amuro: Bad you say? Ah..(Gulps)... *Rustle* (Amuro and The Old man look towards the woods. They see trees rustling.) Old Man: Here it comes... Amuro: (Gulps) (Suddenly the sound as if a million bees were flying around begins to fill the air. Amuro begins to sweat profusely.) Amuro: Aye..It sounds...Scary....Maybe we should run? Old Man: We must see what the devil is... Amuro: Devil?! (Moans Frightenedly) (The Trees begin to shake and rustle more.) Old Man: LOOK IT COMES!!! (The trees part and out runs a GIANT 8 Legged Spider that is made up of constantly in motion dark gray worms. The Spider's head though looks like a King Arthur Knight's Mask/Head thing. The old man's pants immediately become wet with Urine!) Amuro: Oy! Old man! What's wrong with you? Old Man: It's...(shivers)..It's....BK!! BK!! (Amuro looks at the Knight Headed Worm Spider and shrugs) Amuro: Bk? The Black Knig... Old Man: Don't say his name..AIEEEEEEE!! (The Old Man's pants now become stained with brown. Amuro leaps back.) Amuro: Oy! If this had been just an 8 Legged Giant Spider I would maybe lose control of my lower extremities too but it's only the Black... Old Man; NOO!! DON'T SAY IT!! The Mere MENTION of his name makes ANYONE go to the bathroom on themselves!!! Amuro: (shrugging) I don't see why...Hey..He's headed for our tower... (Amuro sees the Red Elk frightened as the BK Worm Spider approaches) Amuro: Will the Spider Demon hurt my Red Elk? Old Man: Anything that touches the worms of the Demon will be CURSED!! (Amuro wide eyed looks down on the Red Elk) Amuro: RUN AWAY RED ELK!!! RUN AWAY!! (The Red Elk stands there stupidly) Old Man: Use your arrow... (Amuro feels his back..Sure enough he has a bow and arrow on his back.) Amuro: You Want me to Kill My Ride? Old Man: NO! Shoot at it's feet so it can run away from the Black Kni..EEEEEEEEEEEK!! (The Old Man wets his pants once again) Amuro: You better get some serious help!! (Amuro sets up the bow and arrow and shoots an arrow at The Red Elks feet and the Red Elk runs off as the BK Worm Spider attacks the tower. The Tower begins to collapse.) Old Man: WE'RE GOING TO DIE!! Amuro: OK...JUST DON'T TOUCH ME YOU BATHROOM SMELLING MAN!!! (The Tower falls over and crashes into some trees as the BK Worm Spider plows through it and continues on towards the village. Amuro and the Old Man are near the ground, safe. Amuro wipes his brow.) Amuro: We made it...WOOOOOOOOO!! Old Man: But it's headed towards the village...YOU HAVE TO WARN THE VILLAGE ABOUT THE.. Amuro; DON'T SAY IT!! Old Man: Oh..Yeah... (Looks down on himself and his face gets red)..Yeah... (Amuro drops down to the ground and gets to his feet. He looks around) Amuro: How do I get to the village without a ride? (Suddenly the Red Elk runs out of the woods to Amuro.) Amuro: Ah..There you are! Old Man: Hurry! You have to get there quickly! Amuro: Why? What's the big deal? Old Man: That..DEMON..Will kill everyone in the village... Amuro: ............... Even...The Three Young Hot Senoritas? Old Man: YES!! (Amuro gets a determined look on his face and he leaps ontop of the Red Elk) Amuro: I MUST SAVE THE HOT SENORITAS!! GO RED ELK GO!! ("Dance Of Curse" from Escaflowne begins to play as Amuro and the Red Elk trot after the BK Worm Spider. Amuro and The Red Elk pull up alongside the BK Worm Spider as it advances towards the village.) Amuro: DEMON!! QUIET YOUR ANGER!!! LEAVE THE VILLAGE WITH THE HOT SENORITAS ALONE!!! (The BK Worm Spider hisses at Amuro and begins to move faster. Up ahead Amuro sees the Three Women from earlier still running towards the village. The BK Worm Spider is going after them.) Amuro: NO! HALT! LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! (The Bk Worm Spider doesnt' respond just keeps on.) Amuro: Tonto! You leave me with NO OTHER CHOICE!!! (Amuro and the Red Elk run out infront of the BK Worm Spider and Amuro sets up his bow and arrow and...) *Zip* *SPUNKT* BK Worm Spider: EEEEEEEEEETEEEEEEEEEETEEEEEEEEEEEETEEEEEEEEETEEEEE!!! (Amuro's arrow nailed the BK Worm Spider in the eye! The Bk Worm Spider stops in it's tracks. Amuro looks with a sad face.) Amuro: Madre Dios! I was only aiming for your feet..I'm sorry... (Suddenly a stream of dark worms shoot from the BK Worm Spider and grab hold of Amuro's arm.) Amuro: AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!! (The worms are..BURNING AMURO'S ARM!!! Amuro yanks his arm out from the worms and sets up his arrow and...) *ZIP* *SPUNKT* Bk Worm Spider: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! (The BK Worm Spider is shot in the OTHER EYE!!! The BK Worm Spider collapses and the worms begin to evaporate into steam!! Under the worms lies...A GIANT BORE..I mean..GIANT BOAR!!! The Giant Bore,I mean, Giant Boar's body begins to melt away.) Giant Boar: Everyone....Pisses...Thier Pants...So...Someday...Will you...I will have .... My...Revenge..... (The Boar melts away leaving only a skeleton. Amuro falls off the Elk and holds his arm in pain as the 3 Young Women run up to him along with many towns folks. Amuro looks at the Bore..I mean Boar skeleton with a sad face) Amuro: Aye I'm a lousy shot! I was going for it's feet!! Young Woman #1: Oh No..Your arm..It looks bad...We got to take you to Oracle... ("Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye begins as Amuro looks at Young Woman #1) Amuro: You can take me anyplace you want to... Young Woman #1: BAKA! No time for jokes! (The Music stops abruptly) Amuro: Awww Man... (The scene cuts to a new scene! Amuro is sitting in a room. His arm is bandaged. Sitting infront of him is the old woman known as Oracle. Sitting to the side is a group of older men. Amuro looks around.) Amuro: No..No young senoritas? Oracle: May I see your arm? Amuro: My arm? Si... (Amuro undoes the bandages and everyone gasps as they see worm shaped scars on his arm. Oracle shakes her head. Amuro puts the bandages back on) Older Man #1: What does this mean? Oracle: It means that after a few weeks the scars will grow to his bones and end his life. (Amuro's eyes shoot wide like saucers) Amuro: WHAT?!! I'M GOING TO DIE?!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!! Older Man #2: Is there No way to lift this horrible curse? Oracle: There may be one way... Amuro: TELL ME!!! Oracle: You could travel to the West. To the forest of the Gods! There the Pegasus God could heal your wound! Amuro: Pegasus God? Oracle: Horse with wings etc.... Amuro: Oh..I thought you meant the confused doesn't know if he's Kevin Nash or HHH Pro.. Oracle: Horse With Wings with the face of Pro Wrestler Pegasus... Amuro: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! Oracle: You must now leave this village! The curse of the Black Kni... *SPLISH* *SPLASH* *WURSH* *FLOOSH* (All the older men sit with puddles gathering beneath them. Amuro pulls a face) Amuro: Oy! Control yourselves! Oracle: The curse is such that none of us are permitted to watch as you leave! Amuro: Oh..Kay... (Amuro gets up and begins to leave. Looks back at them..) Amuro: Black Kni.. *PRIBTH* *BRIP* *TRIPTHH* *CRICTHH* (The Older Men Look up angrily at Amuro with brown all over thier pants. Amuro holds back laughter) Amuro: I'm sorry..I had to Try it!! (Amuro sprints out the room and leaves the angry cursing of Pissed Off Older Men behind him. Amuro walks up to his Red Elk.) Amuro: They say I have to leave..That soon I will die..You'll take me right? (The Red Elk shrugs and Amuro hops on. Amuro and the Red Elk ride off into the night. Scene fades to black.) (Scene fades to daylight as we see Amuro walking alongside the Red Elk as they come out of the woods and onto a hillside.) Amuro: I wonder how long we've been traveling? Red Elk:................. Amuro: I don't know either! (Amuro and The Red Elk walk down the hillside some more and soon they hear lots of commotion. The sounds of gunshots and screaming fill the air. Amuro looks around.) Amuro: Hmm..What's all that? (As they walk down some more they can see over a rice field near a village. Samurai and soldiers are attacking the village. They kill men, women and children that are trying to run away.) Amuro: Oh No..This is bad...This seems like an Eblis promo or something..Full of misery and bad things.... (Some soldiers are approaching the hill when they spot Amuro.) Soldier: Look! A Warrior! (Amuro looks down and sees the Soldiers.) Amuro: EEEEEEEEEEK!! (Amuro hops on The Red Elk and begins to run towards the fields as the Soldiers point him out to the main calgary.) Amuro: (Calling out to the soldiers) LET ME PASS!!! LET ME BE!!! (Amuro sees a soldier about to kill a woman.) Amuro: LEAVE HER ALONE!! DON'T HURT HER...BLACK KNI... *SLOOOSH* (All the soldiers wet themselves and begin to run away. Amuro rides past the fields and out of the picture scene.) (Scene cuts to Amuro buying rice inside the village, presumably hours later after all the turmoil has died down.) Amuro: Yes One bag please... (The Merchant Woman begins pouring rice into a sack.) Merchant Woman: You gotta' love the rice no? Amuro: Ah..Si.. (On the side a short squatty man watches Amuro buying rice with a lot of interest.) Short Man:.............. (The Merchant Lady finishes filling up the bag and ties it off. She looks up at Amuro.) Merchant Lady: That'll be so and so. Amuro: So and So? Hmm.. (Amuro checks his pockets. He pulls out a nugget of Gold and shrugs. He hands it to the woman.) Amuro: Here you go! (The Merchant Lady looks angry.) Merchant Lady: WHAT?! You call this So and So?!! GIVE ME THE RICE!!! (Suddenly the Short Man waddles inbetween Amuro and the Merchant Lady.) Short Man: Excuse me m'am, let me have a look at that... (The Short Man examines the nugget then his eyes grow wide like saucers.) Short Man: WOMAN!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?!! Merchant Lady: IT'S NOT SO AND SO... Short Man: Lady this is PURE GOLD!!! This can buy 3 Bags of Rice!!! Mercant Lady: (Gasps) (Amuro walks away nervously as a crowd gathers over the gold nugget.) (We see Amuro riding the Red Elk on the roads leading out of the village. The Short Man waddles up alongside Amuro and The Red Elk.) Short Man: Oy! You don't need to thank me for what I did earlier! (Amuro looks at the Short Man strangely.) Amuro: I never said any Thank You's... Short Man: Your Welcome Lad! You know it is I who should be thanking you! Amuro: Why? Short Man: For what you did earlier today! Saving the village from the samurai. You saved me the trouble of doing it myself! Amuro: All I did was say.. Short Man: NO! Don't say it! I'm not immune to it's powers!! Amuro: O............K.......... Short Man: Now take a quick glance behind us... (Amuro looks back and spots 3 shady looking men holding spears following them.) Short Man: Hahaha! You shouldn't be so indiscreet with your gold... Amuro: Gold? I gave that Lady Gold for Rice? ME ES ESTUPIDO!!!! Short Man: What say we run... Amuro: Si... (The Red Elk begins to run and the Short Man leaps on top of the Elk sitting behind Amuro as they ride away. The 3 Shady Men shake thier fists and spears at them as they disappear out of the scene.) (The Scene cuts to Amuro and The Short Man sitting in a cave cooking rice over a fire in a pot. The Short Man eyes the rice hungrily.) Short Man: It's almost done!! Amuro: Oh... Short Man: What? (Censored) can't come up with more dialogue? Amuro: I think (Censored) is a little tired for the day...Though (Censored) could work on this some more later on since (Censored) has more days to work on this than just today... Short Man: Whatever, Where are you headed? Amuro: To the Forest Of Gods. Short Man: The Forest of Gods? Why are you headed there? Amuro: Because of this... (Amuro takes off his arm covering to show the worm shaped scars on his arm.) Short Man: Oh! The Curse!! (Amuro covers his arm back up) Amuro: Si. I'm out to find the Pegasus God to heal my curse... Short Man: Oh...That could be a dangerous endeavor... Amuro: I must undertake it... Short Man: Why? Amuro: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!! Short Man: Oh yeah... (The Short Man begins pouring rice into his bowl. Then he pours some into Amuro's bowl and hands it to Amuro.) Amuro: Gracias... Short Man: You aren't from around here are you? Amuro: No..I'm from Espana... Short Man: Espana? Aren't you suppose to say The East... Amuro: Oh..Si si..Yes...From the East... Short Man: Hai.... (The Short Man begins to eat at a furious pace. In seconds his bowl is clean. He puts more and again in seconds his bowl is empty. Amuro watches stunned. The Short Man Puts another bowl and smiles at Amuro.) Short Man: Eat Up! It is your Rice after all...*CHOMP CHOMP SLURP SLURP* Amuro: Si...Heh...(sighs) (The scene fades to black.) (The scene opens to day light. The Short Man is sleeping. There is no sign of Amuro anywhere. The Short Man begins to stir and looks around.) Short Man: I knew he'd leave... (Then the Short Man goes back to sleep without explaining his observation.) (We see Amuro riding on the Red Elk. They are riding through the forest. They come across a stream and they stop so The Red Elk can drink some water. Amuro looks across the water and notices something in the water...WOUNDED PEOPLE!!!) Amuro: Aye! Madre Dios!! What is this? (Amuro runs out into the water. He checks on one man..) Amuro: He's...He's dead... (Amuro closes the man's eye lids...They pop back open...Amuro closes them again..They pop back open again...Amuro stares at the man a bit frightened.) Amuro: Are you dead or alive? (Suddenly the man begins to cough water out and convulse.) Amuro: AIEEEEE!! You got your vomit all over me!!! (Amuro drags the man out of the water to the land. Amuro leaves the man there and then goes back into the water to check on another man. Amuro checks for a pulse.) Amuro: He's alive... (Amuro drags that man out of the water and brings him to the land. The other man begins to sit up and cough.) Injured Man #1: Wait..The other two guys..They're drifting away.. (Amuro looks to see two other people drifting away. They're splashing around in the water.) Injured Man #1: I can't see too well..Are they dead? (Amuro shrugs as the two men drift off the range of vision.) Amuro: Probably.. (Amuro tends to the second Injured man. Amuro bandages him up. He also bandages up the First Injured Man.) Amuro: What happened to you guys? Injured Man #1: We were trying to herd our cattle and our rice and wheat to the Steel Mill that we live at when these giant Wolves attacked us. The guards didn't protect us too well. We got seperated and left behind the rest of the crew... Amuro: Ah..That's a shame...Well..I'll take you guys back to the Steel Mill... Injured Man #1: Really? That's great! Amuro: But I need to go through this Forest Of The Gods to get there... Injured Man #1: AIEEEEEE!!! No one EVER enters the forest and lives to tell about it!!! Amuro: It will be ok..And besides..I am looking for something... (Suddenly there is a rustling across the stream. The Injured Man ducks down and Amuro ducks behind some rocks. Amuro peeks out to watch.) Amuro: (to himself) Please don't let this be another worm spider thing... (A giant wolf along with two smaller yet still bigger than normal wolves walks out to the stream's edge. Then a Young Woman dressed in kind of a Wolf-Princess garb walks alongside them and they all drink from the stream. Amuro's eyes get wide as saucers.) Amuro: (to himself) My God...She...She looks like...THE LIBRARIAN... (Amuro leaps up from behind the rocks and the Wolves and the Wolf-Woman jump into guard positions in startlement.) Amuro: EXCUSE ME...WOLF PRINCESS... (The Wolf Woman glares at Amuro) Amuro: Do you know where the Pegasus God is? I need to ask him a favor... (The Wolves begin to walk back into the woods and The Wolf Woman begins to follow them then looks back towards Amuro.) Wolf Woman: LEAVE!! (Then she follows the wolves and disappears into the forest. Amuro sighs sadly.) Amuro: Why can't I ever hook it up with the ladies... (The Wolves begin to walk back into the woods and The Wolf Woman begins to follow them then looks back towards Amuro.) Wolf Woman: LEAVE!! (Then she follows the wolves and disappears into the forest. Amuro sighs sadly.) Amuro: Why can't I ever hook it up with the ladies... (The Injured Man #1 sits up) Injured Man #1: Are you crazy? Those are the things that attacked us!!! Amuro: But she's so Muy Bonita.... Injured Man #1: When are you going to take us home... Amuro: Now... Injured Man #1: Can we go by way of the stream? Amuro: No! I must venture into the Forest Of The Gods and meet the Pegasus God... Injured Man #1: Oy...We're gonna' die... (We cut to The Injured Man #1 riding on The Red Elk and Amuro carrying the too injured to talk Injured Man #2 over his shoulders as they walk through the Forest. They see little naked ivory white ghosts with dominoes for heads running all along the trees above them. Amuro eyes them nervously.) Amuro: What the HELL are those things? Injured Man #1: They're little spirit things..Pay them no mind... Amuro: Aren't you suppose to be scared of them? Injured Man #1: (shrugs) Aren't you suppose to not be afraid of them? Amuro: Oy! (They walk into a clearing where they see a pond with an island in the middle with a great tall tree. They stop at the Pond's edge and Amuro puts Injured Man #2 on the ground.) Amuro: Let's rest for a moment here... (Amuro takes his bowl out and begins to wash it in the pond's water. Suddenly..A rustling. Amuro looks over at a clearing in the distance in the walls of trees. He sees herds of horses walking in the distance.) Amuro: Hmm... (Amuro watches the horses intensely when he begins to hear soemthing..) Far Off Distant Voice: (barely audible) Nash....Triple H...Nash...Triple H.... (Amuro's eyes become more intense) Distant Voice: (Getting Louder) Nash...Triple H...Nash...Triple H...... (Suddenly it appears..THE PEGASUS GOD..A Winged White Horse with the Head of NEO Wrestler Pegasus. It stops and looks towards Amuro. Amuro jumps startled.) Pegasus God: Nash...Triple H...Nash...Triple H..... (Suddenly Amuro's injured arm begins to come alive as if the worm scars have become the worms and are going NUTS!! Amuro holds his arm under the water) Amuro: Ow...The Pain...Like sitting through...Pegasus Promo...or...Segment.... Pegasus God: Nash..Triple H..Nash...Triple H... (The Pegasus God runs off and Amuro's arm twitching stops. Amuro stares at the empty open space in the distance.) Amuro: He...Seems so...Confused.... (We cut to another scene. We see a view of the Steel Mill from the outside. There are people working near the lake outside. Some of the workers begin to point and shout as they see Amuro along with the two injured men walk out of the forest and approach the steel mill.) Workers: Oh My God! They've made it back!! Get the medics!! (A crowd gathers to meet Amuro and Co. as they come near the Steel Mill. Men and Women begin to attend to the injured men. A samurai approaches with a suspicious look on his face.) Samurai: You..Who are you? (Amuro turns to the Samurai.) Injured Man #1: He SAVED us!! He rescued us when you guys left us to die! Samurai: I don't care about that! What I care about is how he was able to cross the Forest Of Gods alive!! Voice: You should be Thanking Him for saving our men... (Everyone turns around to see a lady dressed in more expensive looking clothes than everyone else. Everyone makes way for her as she approaches Amuro. Amuro's eyes grow wide.) Amuro: Oh...Bonita Senorita.... Samurai: Lady Eboshi! Don't come near! He may be in league with the wolves and that demon woman! Lady Eboshi: Nonsense! He saved our men! I'll let him in and show him my secrets... Amuro: S-secrets? Lady Eboshi: Yes! Bring him and the others inside! (Everyone begins streaming into the Steel Mill village. Amuro turns to The Red Elk.) Amuro: (to himself) Secrets...Dirty Secrets....WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (We cut to Amuro being summoned to Lady Eboshi's presence during night time. Lady Eboshi is testing the plates of steel.) Lady Eboshi: Sorry to keep you waiting... (Lady Eboshi turns to Samurai) Lady Eboshi: Yes, These all look good! (The Samurai takes them away, Amuro stares at the boxes and crates.) Amuro: What is all this? A steel mill or a Sears Mail Order Factory? Lady Eboshi:.............. (Amuro sweats nervously) Lady Eboshi: Thank you for saving our men earlier. It was unfortunate that they had to be left in such a manner but my primary concern was rescuing the main mass of people and shipment. Amuro: Si... Lady Eboshi: Where are you from stranger? Amuro: I'm from the Far East... Lady Eboshi: And what are you here for? Amuro: To see with eyes unclouded... Lady Eboshi: Huh? Amuro: Sorry that was in the movie, To take care of this... (Amuro undoes his arm covering and shows the worm like scars. Lady Eboshi eyes them curiously.) Lady Eboshi: How did you get that? Amuro: A Giant Bore named the... (Amuro Pauses) Lady Eboshi: Named what? Amuro: Well when I say his name wierd stuff happens to people.... Lady Eboshi: Oh...You are talking about BK... Amuro: Si.., He came to our village as a demon. During the conflict where I killed him I was infected with this curse. Lady Eboshi: I see, He probably had been turned into a demon because of me. Amuro: You? Lady Eboshi: Yes. I shot him with my guns. The bullet inside must have tore away at his organs and turned him into a Demon. If (Censored) had included Oracle giving Ashitaka/Amuro the bullet and showing it to me later on this could have gone smoother... Amuro: Well..You know (Censored)...Heh... Lady Eboshi: Yes well I am sorry for your troubles. I suppose you are going to look for the Pegasus God to heal your curse? Amuro: Si Lady Eboshi: Maybe you should forget about it. Spend the rest of your time with us. Those Animal Gods... (Lady Eboshi looks out towards the woods) Lady Eboshi: They're just obstacles in my path... Amuro:(to himself) But I don't want to die... Lady Eboshi: What was that? Amuro: I'm leaving tomorrow morning. Lady Eboshi: Are you sure? Amuro: Si Lady Eboshi: As you wish...Feel free to stay here for the night. Amuro: Here? With you? (Amuro turns away from Eboshi, tears welling up in his eyes) Amuro: (to himself) Yes....Score..... Lady Eboshi: Hahaha! HEAVENS No! Maybe if you didn't have that freakish curse... (Amuro's elation deflates) Amuro: (to himself) I never win..(Sighs) (Amuro turns back towards Eboshi smiling nervously) Amuro: Haha! I was joking! Lady Eboshi: Of Course now, go somewhere else til the next part happens... Amuro: Ok... (We cut to a guard on patrol sitting along the wall protecting the Steel Mill Village. He looks around bored then..Suddenly becomes alert. He sees a lone wolf with the Wolf Woman riding her. The Guard begins banging the bell alarm.) Guard: THEY'RE COMING!! THE WOLF WOMAN IS COMING!!! (The village becomes all excited. Everyone begins to gather outside. Amuro joins the crowds.) Amuro: Wolf Woman? Ah..The Librarian... (The Wolf charges to the super tall wall and stops abruptly hurdling the wolf woman to the top of the wall. The Wolf Woman leaps in and the Guard tries to strike at her with his spear but she avoids his shots and trips him to make him fall over. The Wolf Woman then leaps onto the roofs of houses and begins running around from house to house. Everyone is all nervous and excited. Lady Eboshi comes out with Two women holding rifles.) Lady Eboshi: WOLF WOMAN!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!! YOU'VE COME TO KILL ME EH? HERE ARE TWO WOMEN WHO ARE HERE TO KILL YOU FOR KILLING THIER HUSBANDS!!! Widow #1: WE WANT REVENGE!!! Widow #2: I WANT TO SUE!!! (Amuro looks up at the roof tops trying to spot The Wolf Woman.) Amuro: I don't see her.. (Amuro climbs up a ladder connected to a house and stands on the roof. He looks around then sees the Wolf Woman standing up.) Amuro: There she is... (Amuro sees all the soldiers and samurai gathering in the crowd. Amuro's eyes grow wide.) Amuro: WOLF WOMAN!!! LEAVE HERE AT ONCE!! IT'S A TRAP!!! DON'T DO IT!! IT'S A TRAP!!! Samurai: Listen to him Eboshi...HE'S IN LEAGUE WITH HER! Lady Eboshi: Let him do as he pleases... (The Wolf Woman begins to sprint down the roof going for a charge at Eboshi.) Amuro: NO! (Amuro begins to run to intercept but she is too fast. She leaps off the roof and...) *BANG* (The women shot at her but they hit her mask which shatters. The Wolf Woman lays KO'd. Amuro leaps down to her and begins to revive her.) Amuro: Come on Bonita Senorita of the Wolves...Be OK... (The Wolf Woman's eyes shoot open and she leaps up and slashes at Amuro with a knife. Amuro dodges the shots.) Amuro: EEEEEEEEEEEK!! I'M NOT HERE TO FIGHT YOU!!! (The Wolf Woman pauses then leaps over Amuro and charges at Lady Eboshi. Lady Eboshi whips out a knife and ...) *CLING* *CLANG* (The two women are going at it tooth and nail fighting with thier knives. Amuro crouched down watches the two women fight with angry eyes.) Amuro: No...Dos Bonitas Senoritas shouldn't fight.... (Amuro stands up and his scarred arm begins to glow and about a dozen ghostly blue worms begin to swirl about his arm. Amuro walks towards the battle. Samurai notices Amuro and jumps back.) Samurai: Villain!! I was right about you!! (Samurai pulls out his sword as Amuro walks up to him, but Amuro grabs the sword and begins to bend it like paper. Amuro walks past Samurai and leaves him with a bent up sword. People begin to scatter everywhere as Amuro throws people out of the way as he walks up towards the two women fighting. Amuro grabs Both women and stops the fight as both women become startled by the glowing worms on Amuro's arms. Both women faint.) Amuro: Two Bonita Senoritas...Asleep in my arms...(sniffs)...HEAVEN!! (Some women in the village take Lady Eboshi from Amuro and Amuro gets a sad face.) Amuro: Oh Man..I thought I was going to hook up with two...Oh well.. (Amuro carries The Wolf Woman in his arms and begins to walk away.) Widow #1: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!! You can't do that to Lady Eboshi!!! (Amuro just keeps walking carrying the Wolf Woman oblivious to anything outside his little world) Amuro: (to himself) I've got the HOT Librarian IN MY ARMS!!! SCORE!!! Widow #2: Hey..Your flint is lit... Widow #1: Huh.. *BANG* *SNIKT* (Widow #1's gun goes off without her paying attention and shoots Amuro from behind and through his gut. Amuro staggers then keeps on walking.) Amuro: (to himself) Ow...Shot through the...gut...And you're to blame...OW....Wolf Woman Librarian...You Give Love...Ow...a Bad Name... (Amuro walks up to the gate that leads out of the village. He puts his free hand on the gate as Red Elk comes up behind him.) Injured Man #1: You can't move that yourself!! It takes 10 Men! (Amuro begins to strain and...The Gate begins to open!! Everyone gasps.) Amuro: (to himself) If only they knew this is just an animation cell and is thus easily moved..OW...Bullet went through body..Must sell...Can't pull..a Hogan...Ow... (Amuro opens the gate and two wolves run up.) Amuro: HALT!! I HAVE YOUR WOLF PRINCESS!! (The Two Wolves growl at Amuro but stay thier distance. Amuro lets Red Elk walk out and then Amuro looks back to the villagers.) Amuro: Thank You for everything! (Amuro walks past and lets the gate close.) Amuro: Thanks for shooting the Giant Bore and causing it to become a demon which caused me to get this damned curse that is going to kill me and Thanks for shooting me through the stomach....(Sighs)...Oh Sell..OW OW OW!! (We Cut to Amuro riding on the Red Elk as he sits behind the sleeping Wolf Woman who is also on the Red Elk. The Wolves run alongside. Amuro's getting weaker and weaker as he loses blood.) Amuro: Must..Stay..Awake...Bonita...Senorita...Must...Touch...The..Heinee... (Amuro blacks out and falls off the Red Elk. The Wolf Woman wakes up and leaps off the Red Elk. The Wolves run in to kill Amuro but The Wolf Woman stops them.) Wolf Woman: HALT!! He's Mine!! (The Wolf Woman pulls a big knife out and turns Amuro onto his back. She holds the knife to Amuro's throat.) Wolf Woman: Before I kill you I must know..WHY DID YOU STOP ME FROM KILLING EBOSHI?!! (Amuro's eyes flicker half concious) Amuro: I...Didn't want...You....To die.... Wolf Woman: BAKA!! I am prepared to give my life for our cause!!! Amuro: But...You...You're so.....Beautiful... (The Wolf Woman jumps back startled) Wolf Woman: B...B.Beautiful? Amuro: I couldn't....Let such...A...Hottie....Die.... Wolf Woman: Me? Beautiful? (The Two smaller wolves eye Amuro angrily. The Giant Wolf walks up next to the Wolf Woman.) Giant Wolf: San..Do you want us to kill him? San: No.... Giant Wolf: What about the Red Elk? Can we chomp him? San: No... Giant Wolf: ........................... Smaller Wolf #1: Beeotch I don't know about you but I'm Fuggin' Hungry! Let us chomp these guys! I'm ready to tear into it you know? Growr Growr Growr you know? Get my eats on!! San: No..We have to nurse him and protect the Red Elk... Smaller Wolf #1: Oh Man... Giant Wolf:......................God Damnit! (We cut to San walking the Red Elk with Amuro on it's back to the pond with the island in the middle. She leads them through the water. They go to the island. San drags Amuro to the island and lays him down on the shore. She sticks a branch into the ground next to Amuro's head.) San: Now we'll see if the Gods are kind to you... (San leaves the unconcious Amuro to lie there as The Red Elk watches as it wades in the water. A fog of Amuro's blood begins to float in the water.) Distant Voice: Nash.....Triple H.....Nash....Triple H.... (Amuro's eyes blink as he is fading in and out of unconciousness.) Distant Voice: (getting louder) Nash.....Triple H....Nash.....Triple H.... (Amuro's eyes blink slower.) Distant Voice: (getting even louder) Nash...Triple H....Nash...Triple H.... (Amuro's eyes blink even slower as a shadow falls over Amuro.) Voice: Nash....Triple H.....Nash....Triple H.... (Amuro stares up with hazey eyes. He sees the Pegasus God staring down at him.) Pegasus God: Nash....Triple H....Nash....Triple H.... (Amuro's eyes roll around then they close shut as the wierd Pegasus God chant goes on. We zoom in on Amuro's sleeping face and everything begins to get fuzzy which means we are now.. GOING INTO DREAM AMURO'S DREAM!!!! Scene fades to fuzziness.) (Fuzziness fades into a shot of Amuro sitting on a bench in a locker room, backstage at a NEO event. Amuro looks around him.) Amuro: I'm in the NEO locker room....Am I...Awake now? (Amuro looks around, to the left, to the right, then straight ahead and...he freezes.) Amuro: What the... ("Setting Sun" by The Chemical Brothers begins to play as the shot flies over the floor then lands on white shoes. It goes up and we see white jeans, white overcoat, white button up shirt, and a face with a white beret. A familiar face. AMURO'S FACE!!) Amuro: That's...That's me.... (The Alternate Amuro, holding a cigarette in his hand, looks up at Amuro and gives a dirty look.) Alternate Amuro: What's your problem? Psh! (Amuro's eyes grow wide.) Amuro: I'm in an Alternate Reality NEO...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (The scene fades to black. Words come across the screen.) "To Be Continued...." (Scene fades to black.) |
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| texanspaniard | Aug 26 2010, 01:31 AM Post #2 |
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The Luther Burger
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(Scene opens to a still of Amuro Balsa looking sadly inside a dept. store.) Voice Over: I was staring at a sweater through the window of a store thinking thoughts about the local librarian when danger called upon my services... (Cuts to a still of Amuro waiting to catch a woman leaping from a fiery building.) V/O: The poor senorita was in trouble so I went to save her from the deadly fire that was destroying her apartment building but... (Cuts to Amuro unconcious on the fire escape steps.) V/O: Her velocity crashed into me like bricks off a sky scraper and I was left asleep and then we began into my dreams... (Cuts to a still of Amuro riding a Red Elk.) V/O: And there I was riding The Red Elk and facing more danger! This time from the bathroom inducing... (Cuts to a still of the Black Knight Worm Spider) V/O: Black Knight Worm Spider!! He was going to attack the village with the young and muy bonita senoritas so I slayed him but I paid a price.. (Cuts to a still shot of Amuro's Worm Scarred Arm.) V/O: I was branded with the curse that would end my life! (Cuts to a still of Amuro before the Oracle and the elders.) V/O: I was told my only hope was to travel to the west to the Forest Of Gods and seek out the Pegasus God who could heal me of the curse. (Cuts to a still of Amuro fighting with Samurai near a village.) V/O: On my way to the west I encountered a battle and I helped save some more senoritas but also brought some attention my way care of.. (Cuts to a still of Short Squatty Man eating Amuro's rice.) V/O: Short Squatty Man who ate all my rice!! Soon I left him and ventured further and encountered wounded at a river and there I saw the Wolf Woman Librarian for the first time in my dream! (Cuts to a still of the Wolf Woman who looks like The Librarian by the river) V/O: She was so Hot...So Muy Bonita... One look and I could TELL she was Caliente for Me! (Cuts to a still of Lady Eboshi.) V/O: Then I brought the wounded to the Steel Mill and met Lady Eboshi. She was Hot..So Muy Bonita...One look and I could TELL she was Caliente for Me! (Cuts to a still of Lady Eboshi and Wolf Woman fighting) V/O: Both senoritas fought over me! I couldn't bear the thought of either one dying over me so I stopped thier fight and was going to take both home with me but Lady Eboshi was taken away from me by the Towns People..(Sighs)....So I was left with just the Wolf Woman but... (Cuts to a still of Amuro beging shot from behind while he carries The Wolf Woman) V/O: They SHOT ME!!!! But still I walked out with my woman...Well as far as I could... (Cuts to a still of Amuro lying bleeding on the ground while The Wolf Woman threatens to kill him.) V/O: The Senorita didn't seem happy, she wanted to know why I had stopped her fight over me, I said because she was beautiful, this surprised her, she apparently didn't know..How could she not know? (Cuts to a still of Amuro lying in water, bleeding as the Pegasus God stands over him.) V/O: She left me to fate, and above me was the Pegasus God..But I passed out and I found msyelf... (Cuts to Amuro sitting on a bench in a NEO locker room. "Setting Sun" by Chemical Brothers plays as the room seems to spin around Amuro.) V/O: Here! In some wierd, Alternate Reality Universe of.... (Cuts to the Alternate Version of Amuro smoking a cigarette) Alternate Amuro: What's your problem? Psh! (Amuro's eyes grow wide.) Amuro: I'm in an Alternate Reality NEO...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! V/O: NEO WRESTLING!!!! (Scene fades to white) (White fades to Amuro sitting on the bench in the Alternate Reality NEO locker room and staring in disbelief around him at the Alternate Reality NEO.) Amuro: That's an alternate version of me... (Amuro's head jerks to the right.) Amuro: And that..That's... (A Big Tall Muscular Man covered in blood and wearing a dark mask walks up to Amuro.) Amuro: You're...You're... (The Evil looking man looks down at Amuro and...) Big Man: Hello there! I'm Elibs Shamma Damma Ding Dong! (Amuro blinks blankly.) Amuro: How can that be? I met you already in the real world and.. Elibs: Ha! You met the dumbed down parody version! I'm the sweet talking, sort of Paul-ish Parody version! Amuro: Paul-ish? (Elibs winks at Amuro. Amuro blinks blankly.) Elibs: Yes! I'm (BEEP)er than Richard Simmons with more Bret Hart moves to boot! Amuro: ..................... Elibs: Don't be scared about my reputation man! About me being a killer and all that stuff... I haven't murdered anyone much less shown that I'm this possessed demon when I put on my mask and is apathatic to pain and apahtatic to emotions! I'm just an (Beep) Smacking, Sausage (Beep)ing, Everyday sort of Paul-ish (Beep) Professional Wrestler! (Amuro smiles nervously and backs away.) Amuro: Ah..Heh..Nice to meet you..Heh.. (Amuro turns around to walk away and bumps into near 7 foot tall man. A near 7 foot tall man who is pure concrete of muscle and wears a silly looking full body suit with a picture of a Giant Chicken on it. He has several Pentagrams all around his outfit as well. His face is full of anger and frustration. Amuro looks up at him nervously.) Amuro: Ah..Heh..Hola...Heh... Tall Man: Why...You...You Bumped into me.... Amuro: Oh..Heh..So Sorry.. Tall Man: Why..If you were a bunch of punk gangster children...Or if you were a 40 something year old man in a diner....I'd wipe the mat with you!!!! (Amuro strains his eyes.) Amuro: Are you Rizer? Tall Man: Rizer? NO! I am... (The Tall Man pulls out a rubber chicken and begins laughing. Amuro stares blankly.) Tall Man: I'M RIBBER!!! (Amuro gets an "I Feel Sorry For You" smile on his face) Amuro: Oh..Heh...Good...Good for you...heh.. (Ribber puts his arm around Amuro) Ribber: Watch this man...See Elibs over there... (Elibs is fixing to bite into a 12 inch hot dog.) Amuro: Ah..Ok... Ribber: Watch what happens... (Elbis takes a bite and...The Hot Dog sprays his face with whip cream! Elibs looks aback then smiles and shakes his finger at Ribber.) Elibs: Oh you Silly Thing!!! (Ribber is laughing his head off. Amuro begins to sneak away but Ribber turns his head towards Amuro.) Ribber: WASN'T THAT FUNNY? Amuro: Ah..Si...Sure...Heh... Ribber: Don't worry about Elibs man, I think he's used to getting sprayed by hotdogs by now! (Amuro with nervous look on his face.) Amuro: Ah..Heh..Ok...Ah..Nice to meet you... (Amuro begins to scoot away when he bumps into someone else. Amuro turns around and...Looks down? There stands a man with spikey hair who is a few inches shorter than Amuro.) Spikey Hair Man: Watch were you are bloody going! Bollocks! Bollocks!! I'M A BRITISH MAN!!! (Amuro steps back and is bewildered by the drunken and beaten lounge singer outfit of the man in front of him.) Amuro: You seem familiar...But I'm not sure... Spikey Hair Man: What? You don't bloody know who I bloody am? Take 'eh look at this har'! (The Spikey Hair Man RIPS his shirt open and shows off his multitude of scars.) Amuro: Oh..You're Elijah Flynt! Spikey Hair Man: Who? I'm Isiah Flem!! Amuro: Oh..Si... Isiah Flem: Look at these scars boyo!!! Aren't ye' bloody scared? (Amuro smiles nervoulsy) Amuro: Oh..Si... Isiah Flem: You're just Bloody sayin' that you pud!! Look at this!! (Flem points to a scar.) Isiah Flem: I got this while having a knife fight with eh' bloody six year ol' girl on the streets of London mate!! And ah' look at this! This one I bloody got while I was bloody insultin' an Irish mun'! He fookin' broke the bollocks whiskey bottuhll he was drunkin' and stubbed it in muh bloody pig arse fookin' self!!! (Amuro smiles nervously.) Amuro: Oh..Heh..So sorry to hear...Heh...Maybe you should have tried to get along better with them... Isiah Flem: BOLLOCKS TO THAT MATE!!! I'm Hardcore! I'm a British Man by Golly!!! I've lived eh' hard hard life mate! Me mudder' was a prostitute Mate! She bloody left me to an orphanage! I run away when I was bloody young mate! Then I start stealin', fightin', and doing underground street fights and learnin' how to be bloody tough and tumble mate!!! Amuro: Wow...That sounds like..Everyone I've seen so far in NEO... Isiah Flem: Don't make bloody fun of me man!! See this? I got this plug in muh' belly when I stole a fishnet stocking from a ten year old girl...She shouldn't have bloody teased me about me hygeine I tell you!! But I stole it from her and she pulled out a gun...She Bollocks bloody plugged me the whore did!! Look at it! (Amuro backing away.) Amuro: Nice to meet you..Adios... Isiah Flem: I'M HARDCORE!! I'M A BRITISH MAN!!! THE BRITISH ARE TOUGH AND NEVER FOLD OR CRY FOR HELP WHEN WE GET OUR ARSES HANDED TO US!! YE' HEAR ME?! (Amuro turns to walk away and bumps into SOMEONE ELSE!) Man: Hey..Careful...At my age..I can't take too much abuse...eh... (Amuro stares at the man who is about the same size as him. The man has bleached out white blonde hair that goes to his shoulders, and has an aging smiling face.) Amuro: Oh..You're..You're.... Man: Yes...Say it..Come on..I'm the World Famous... Amuro: RIC FLAIR!!! Man: SHITE!! NO!! I'm Mickey Fire!!! Amuro: Oh..You're the Alternate version of Mike Flame! Mickey Fire: What what what? Who's that? Amuro: Oh..Heh..Nothing... Mickey Fire: Listen here pal..WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..I've wrestled everyone you can think of... I'm THE LIVING LEGEND!! I've held 542,665,987,143,765,369 Titles By Mean By God Gene!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'm the Living Legend I tell you..ERK...ARK... (Mickey Fire hunches over clutching his chest. Amuro looks concerned.) Amuro: Oh..Senor..Are you alright? (Elibs walks over and shrugs) Elibs: Just heart problems, it's his age! Give him a minute and.. (Ribber runs over and jumps ontop of Fire.) Ribber: An older man? Having a heart attack? Sounds like someone I can beat up easily to make me look tough!! HAHAHA!! (Ribber starts pounding on Fire while Elibs laughs.) Elibs: You're such a silly willy!! (Amuro smiles nervously and begins to turn around to walk away when he runs into..The Messiah!!) Amuro: Oh! Messiah! I haven't seen you since we both got thrown out of the NEO show weeks back! (Messiah is holding an acoustic guitar and looks at Amuro strangely.) Messiah: "Messiah"? Who's that? It's not me! Amuro: No? Who..Who are you? (Messiah begins playing his guitar and then starts to sing..) Messiah: THIS IS IT..Something something something...THIS IS IT...The party is over...THIS IS IT..Blah blah blah.. (Amuro blinks blankly) Messiah: I'M THE MESSINA!!! Amuro: (GASP) The Messina: That's right! I'm the ex-songwriting partner of Kenny Loggins that good for nothing ingrate!!! I taught him everything he knows and then he goes off and becomes a Jesus look alike!! THAT'S MY GIMMICK!!! Amuro: Oh.. Voice: HIGHWAY TO THE DANGERZONE!!! The Messina: NOOOOOO!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD DEMON!! GET OUT!! Amuro: What's the matter? The Messina: Can't you hear it? That voice? (Amuro blinks blankly) The Messina: It's the voice of...KENYY LOGGINS!!! Voice: EVERYBODY FOOTLOOSE..SOMETHING LOOSE..KICK UP YOUR SUNDAY SHOES... The Messina: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The Messina goes running off. Amuro watches him run.) Voice: You...Spaniard...Do you....DO KAIJU?! (Amuro turns to the direction of the voice. Standing there is a Japanese man wearing the mask of a colorful Japanese carp and dressed in a Kimono.) Amuro: SUSHI TSUNAMI!! Masked Man: Huh? Sushi Tsunami? No...I'M SAKE TSUYOSHI!!!!! Amuro: Oh... Sake Tsuyoshi: And look..Here is my manager... Amuro: Mr. Miyagi? Sake Tsuyoshi: PIKACHU!!! (A taller fatter Pikachu stands there looking cute) Pikachu: Pika..Pika Pika chu chu! Amuro: AIEEEEEEEEEE!!! Sake Tsuyoshi: Do not be afraid..There is nothing to be afraid of here in the Alternate Reality NEO... Voice: Except boredom... (Amuro turns to the voice and again sees his alternate Self sitting on a bench smoking a cigarette.) Amuro: You are me... (Alternate Amuro blows smoke out his mouth.) Alternate Amuro: Yeah..I'm you...I'm the...EVIL..Version of you... (Alternate Amuro picks up a shoe and throws it at Elibs's head.) Elibs: OW!! That hurt!! Alternate Amuro: HA! You (BEEP)ing PAUL!!! (Elibs begins to well up with tears.) Amuro: Oy..That wasn't very nice.... Alternate Amuro: So? You think I care? I'm not like you..All nice and goofily endearing in your brain damaged doesn't understand what's going on way..I'm BAD! I like my liquor hard, my cigarettes bad for my health and my women loose! I don't hide my feelings about opponents by stumbling into idiotic situations that parody them! Nope..I... I cut a promo... (Amuro is taken aback.) Amuro: What? You...ME...Cut a promo? Alternate Amuro: That's right...The thing you most despise because of it's lack of F-ing Creativity!! I stare at the camera and I F-ing Talk F-ing Tough and I think to myself...Man..You just did a good segment..KNOWING..I just bored about a half million twits to tears! Amuro: How could I be so evil? Doing unimaginitive talk tough promos!! That's one of the most evil things one can do!! Alternate Amuro: Hello..HELLO..I'M F-ING EVIL!!! (Sake Tsuyoshi shakes his head.) Sake Tsuyoshi: Amuro..You're one bad apple... Amuro: But.. Alternate Amuro: You don't belong here Pansy Amuro...There is no room for compassion for Amuro Balsa here in the Alternate Reality NEO! Amuro: No! I refuse to accept that I can't be a good natured human being in this world!! The goodness is in you!! Alternate Amuro: HA! Good? In me? HA! *RUMBLE* (Suddenly everything begins to shake. Amuro looks around in a panic.) Amuro: What's going on? Ribber: Oh No..HE'S COMING!! (Everything shakes more violently) Amuro: WHO?!! Elibs: OH GOD...(sobs)...I'M SO SCARED..(sobs)... Amuro: Who's coming? Isiah Flem: We...(shivers)...WE CAN'T BLOODY SAY HIS NAME... Voice: HO HO HO!! WHY? WHAT DOES MY NAME DO TO ANYONE WHO HEARS IT?!! Mickey Fire: Oh God..Kill me now God...(sobs).... (The door to the locker room flies open and in walks a GIANT MAN!!!) Giant Man: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HEAR THE NAME...BANANA KNUCKLES?!!!! *PHRISHT* *SPLASH* *SPLISH* *TRIPTHH* (Elibs, Ribber, Mickey Fire and Isiah Flem stand there with soiled pants.) Amuro: Oh No..Not this again... Elibs: I'm so..(sobs)...scared...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! (Elibs and the others run off to a corner of the room as Banana Knuckles walks up to Amuro.) Banana Knuckles: Hmm.. (Banana Knuckles looks down at Amuro's pants and see they aren't soiled. A perplexing look appears on his face.) Banana Knuckles: Stranger..Why haven't you soiled yourself? Amuro: Ah..Heh..Maybe I didnt' have anything to drink before I came here..heh.. Banana Knuckles: Huh? How can you not be shaking with fear? Amuro: Fear? Why should we be afraid? Let's be friends! (Amuro holds his hand out to Banana Knuckles who looks at it perplexed.) Banana Knuckles: How can this be? You shold be shaking and...Peeing your pants...Like this.. (Banana Knuckles fakes like he's going to charge at Elibs, Ribber, Fire and Flem and the four of them soil themselves again.) Ribber: Oh God..These are my only good pair of tights too... Amuro: Oy..Come on Senor Knuckles..Leave them alone..No? They have jobs to do tonight, let them do those jobs in clean clothes! (Banana Knuckles looks confused) Banana Knuckles: I...Don't Understand... Alternate Amuro: HAHAHAHAHA!!! If you were a real Man Amuro you'd tell him how ridiculous he is for ever stating everyone would fear him and soil themselves at his name's mention! (Banana Knuckles looks over angrily at Alternate Amuro.) Banana Knuckles: Balsa I should have known it! You and those two other clowns NEVER play along!!! (Amuro looks over at Sake Tsuyoshi and The Messina. Neither one having soiled themselves either.) Banana Knuckles: You just watch yourself Balsa! Someday sooner or later I will make you wet your pants!!! Alternate Amuro: Whatever! Go sulk in your corner again... (Banana Knuckles walks angrily to a corner of the room and sits on a bench and broods. Amuro looks over at Alternate Amuro.) Amuro: You could have coddled his feelings a little more! Alternate Amuro: Coddle his feelings? What is WRONG with you?! That guy goes around making those Pauls soil themselves and you're worried about his feelings? Amuro: Even the local bully has insecurities! There are ways to bring his esteem down without crushing it! Alternate Amuro: Psh! No wonder I'm probably going to lose to that Kevin Nash/HHH wannabe this Saturday! You..The Real Me..Doesn't have the killer instincts to cut boring promos and talk tough barely 2 minutes about his opponents in the most boring and sleep inducing ways imaginable!! Amuro: Kevin Nash/HHH wannabe? Alternate Amuro: Yeah..Look over there... (Alternate Amuro points to a corner. There sits a near 7 foot tall man with long blonde hair and overall Kevin Nash look staring at two posters. One of Kevin Nash and one of HHH.) Amuro: Pegasus? Alternate Amuro: No..Pegastumple! Amuro: Oh... (Amuro walks over to Pegastumple.) Amuro: Hola! Como estas? (Pegastumple sighs) Pegastumple: Is that you Balsa? You here to ride my butt some more about the obvious Kevin Nash description and background of mine and my absurd notion that I'm also like HHH? Amuro: Ah..No..I just came to say Hola... Pegastumple: I'm tired of you picking on me...Nash...HHH...So what if I'm confused and don't know who I want to be? Does that give you the right to exploit that and use it against me? Amuro: Ah..No...I suppose not... Alternate Amuro: Please!! He looks JUST LIKE KEVIN NASH!!! I think that pretty much drags the OOC stuff into the IC stuff don't you think? Amuro: I suppose you have a point but... Pegastumple: So?! IT'S NOT FAIR!! I'm...I'm different..I'M DIFFERENT I TELL YOU!!! I'm not Nash or HHH!! I'm...PEGASTUMPLE...The near 7 foot tall Big Sexy of NEO!! I'M DIFFERENT!! Alternate Amuro: HAHAHAHAHA!! You're a Paul!! Pegastumple: I am not! Alternate Amuro: Are too!! Amuro: STOP IT!! SILENCIO!!! Pegastumple: I'm just trying to be myself..But everytime someone brings up the rather obvious that I look EXACTLY like a certain someone they think that means I am that certain someone even though I have very similar background to that certain someone.. It's not fair! Amuro: But you could talk back! Alternate Amuro: Ha! All he knows how to do is talk tough and call people silly and think that's enough!! Amuro: Pegastumple, Look at Alternate Amuro..He's from Spain..A country not known for producing ANY famous Professional Wrestlers whatsoever..Yet this Spaniard somehow knows how to wrestle like Kenta Kobashi or something! Isn't that pretty absurd? Pegastumple: Yeah..I guess... Amuro: Then cut a promo using that! Task him on being a Brain Damaged Kenta Kobashi! Alternate Amuro: Ha! So are you! Amuro: OY! I'm trying to boost his esteem here!! Pegastumple: Boost my esteem? Dont' you see you've RUINED ME!!! Amuro: Que? Pegastumple: Now anything I say, anything I do, everyone will be like..Look he's just like Kevin Nash..or Look..He's Kevin Nash trying to be HHH..and so forth..You've ruined me!! (Pegastumple stands up and walks over to a window.) Pegastumple: Nash...HHH...Nash...HHH...WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAUNT ME SO MUCH?!!!! Alternate Amuro: Ha! You sound like you're losing your mind! Pegastumple: Shut up..SHUT UP!! It's your fault I'm like this... Alternate Amuro: Boo Hoo! What you gonna' do huh? Kill yourself? Pegastumple:........... (Suddenly Pegastumple throws open the window and begins to crawl out.) Amuro: EEEEEEEEEEEK!! (Alternate Amuro spits his cigarette out.) Alternate Amuro: Holy (BEEP) (Pegastumple is trying to crawl out, he's halfway out, Amuro sprints over.) Amuro: NO!! DON'T DO IT!!! (Suddenly Banana Knuckles steps in Amuro's way.) Banana Knuckles: Fear Me! Amuro: NOT RIGHT NOW!!! (Alternate Amuro grabs Pegastumples foot but Pegastumple kicks him away.) Pegastumple: LET ME GO!! Alternate Amuro: I WAS JOKING ESTUPIDO!!! DON'T DO IT!! (The whole locker room becomes a panic. Amuro runs around Banana Knuckles and launches himself towards the window. He catches Pegastumples feet before they can clear out the window. Amuro looks down...THEY'RE ABOUT 100 FEET IN THE AIR!!) Amuro: What kind of wrestling show is so high up inthe air? Alternate Amuro: It's a dream go figure! Pegastumple: Let me go..I want to die!! Amuro: NO! DON'T SAY THAT!!! You have so much to live for!!! Sake Tsuyoshi: Pegastumple don't do it!! You have to give your all and attempt to win the Pacific Tournament! The Messina: Kenny Loggins will probably be waiting for you if you kill yourself...DON'T DO IT!!! Elibs: (sobs) This is horrible..(sobs)...HE'S GONNA' DIE!!!! Amuro: See? You have friends here! People who want to see you alive and well!!! Don't let a few comments unnerve you and you stop giving your all! Pegastumple: No..They'll always compare me to Nash and HHH...I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! Amuro: Give me your hand!! Let's talk it over!!! Pegastumple: NO!! (Alternate Amuro pokes his head out the window.) Alternate Amuro: I'm sorry man! I didnt' know you would be this messed up by it!! I take back everything I ever said!! Pegastumple: Really? Alternate Amuro: SI! You aren't ANYTHING like Nash and HHH! No matter how obviously you look like and have the same background of Kevin Nash! You are a unique and utterly original individual!! Amuro: See? Even..We have compassion after all... Alternate Amuro:............... Pegastumple: oh..Ok... (Pegastumple reaches up and both Amuros grab his hand and begin to help him up.) Amuro: Let's all sit down and have a nice happy.. (Suddenly Banana Knuckles runs up behind the Amuros and..) Banana Knuckles: BANANA KNUCKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *PHRISSSSSSSSSSHT* (Pegastumple wets his pants and looks up paniced at the Amuros.) Pegastumple: Oh..Oh No... (Pegastumple's hands slip through the Amuros hands and he plummets down.) Pegastumple: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O Amuro:....................................... Alternate Amuro: Oh No................... (Banana Knuckles begins to laugh up a storm as everyone in the locker room becomes deadly silent.) Banana Knuckles: Ha Ha Ha! He pissed his pants! HE FEARED ME!! Hahaha!! (Alternate Amuro slumps to the floor with a stunned look on his face. Amuro begins to shake with anger.) Banana Knuckles: Now Balsa..NOW YOU SEE!! WHY EVERYONE SHOULD FEAR ME!!! (Amuro spins around with angry tears in his eyes.) Amuro:.............................. Banana Knuckles: What? You gonna' tear me a new one? HA! You can't beat me! I'm Banana Knuckles and just because I say so I am the most fearsome unbeatable guy around! Ha Ha Ha! (Amuro begins to charge when Alternate Amuro, Sake Tsuyoshi and The Messina Stop him.) Amuro: Huh? Alternate Amuro: You aren't from here..You can't do anything to him... Sake Tsuyoshi: But we can!!! Banana Knuckles: Huh? The Messina: Come on guys..Let's show him how much we hate KENNY LOGGINS!!! (Alternate Amuro, Sake Tsuyoshi and The Messina charge and tackle Banana Knuckles and begin to beat him down with the wailing away of fists.) Amuro: Oh... Banana Knuckles: OW...THAT HURTS..YOU CAN'T DO THIS..OW..I'M BANANA KNUCKLES..EVERYONE FEARS ME BECAUSE I SAY SO...OW!!! (Alternate Amuro looks back at Amuro while he punches on Banana Knuckles.) Alternate Amuro: Go on Home now Amuro...Go back and be the Good Us... Amuro: Si... (Amuro steps back and slips on a banana peel and falls backwards and hits his head knocking him unconcious. The Ribber starts to laugh.) The Ribber: I GOT HIM!! HA HAHAHA! Elibs: You are such a Silly! (We zoom in on Amuro's face and fade to black.) (The black fades into a shot of Amuro sleeping underwater in a pond. Amuro's eyes open and he comes up fast out of the water.) Amuro: *PANT* *GASP* *PANT* *GASP* (Amuro looks around and notices he's in the Forest of Gods. He sees The Red Elk staring at him.) Amuro: Oh..Friend..I'm back in this dream now.... (Amuro checks his wound in his stomach.. Amuro's eyes grow wide.) Amuro: My stomach wound...It's healed! My bullet wound is healed..OW.. (Amuro drops his head down on the shore of the island in the pond.) Amuro: But I still feel pain... (Amuro looks at his arm and undoes the coverings to reveal...He still has the Worm scars.) Amuro: The Pegasus God healed my wounds but not my curse.... (Footsteps can be heard. Amuro tries to sit up but can't.) Amuro: Who..Who's there? Voice: It's me! (The Wolf Woman who looks like the Librarian walks over to Amuro.) Wolf Woman: I see The Pegasus God has allowed you to live... Amuro: Si..For the time being... Wolf Woman: You know there's a lot of stuff coming up where I chew food and put it in your mouth for you... Amuro: Ah...Mouth to mouth... Wolf Woman: Yeah.. (Amuro's eyes well up with tears) Amuro: A Kiss...I'M SO LUCKY!! Wolf Woman: Well we've decided to skip all that, skip through you getting better, through the boars fighting the humans and getting massacred and the humans hunting for The Pegasus God and decided we'll just pick up where the Pegasus God is fixing to get his head blown off.. Amuro: Oh man.. (We cut to hunters in dead boar skins running amok as The Pegasus God begins to turn into the giant Night Walker. Lady Eboshi and the Short Squatty man watch.) Lady Eboshi: I will show you how to kill a God! (Lady Eboshi runs into the clearing as The Pegasus God's neck stretches up taller and taller. She points her gun. Amuro is in the water.) Amuro: NO! EBOSHI! DON'T DO IT!! (Lady Eboshi snickers. The Pegasus God turns to look at Eboshi. Suddenly action figures of Kevin Nash and Triple H pop up all over the gun. Eboshi steps aback.) Eboshi: What? Bah! (Eboshi swats them off, lights the flint on her gun...) *BOOM* *POW* (She shoots through the elongated neck of the Pegasus God and his neck EXPLODES and his head falls to the ground.) Amuro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! (Amuro and The Wolf Woman run onto the shore and stand over the head as does Eboshi and The Short Squatty Man. The Pegasus God's body begins to explode and...the sky begins to rain with action figures of Kevin Nash and Triple H. Amuro looks in confusion.) Amuro: This isn't how the story goes? Wolf Woman: Ha! We dont' have to stick to no story! (Amuro looks at his worm cursed arm and collapses.) Amuro: The curse..It's killing me...I don't get saved? (Everyone laughs) Eboshi: Silly! We don't care! Wolf Woman: Now that you've shown me that I am beautiful I no longer need you around! I can have any Man or..WOMAN I want! (Eboshi and Wolf Woman give each other looks.) Amuro: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!! Short Squatty Man: Say Goodbye Amuro... (The three begin to laugh as we zoom in on Amuro's screaming face.) Amuro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO (We cut to black.) (The black fades to morning light. We see Amuro asleep on the fire escape of the burned down apartment buildings. People are working to clean up the mess but no one awakes Amuro. Amuro's eyes begin to stir and he jumps up.) Amuro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Amuro looks around. No one takes notice of him. He scratches his head.) Amuro: It was all a dream...Mononoke...Alternate Reality NEO...All a dream.... (Amuro walks down the fire escape and walks past the workers, no one taking notice of Amuro. Amuro begins the walk home.) Amuro: I must have slept pretty feverishly... (Amuro brushes ash and burnt wood off of his clothes.) Amuro: I guess...No one wanted to disturb my sleep..Yeah..that's it... (Amuro approaches his apartment building and notices the Librarian's apartment window open. She's undressing. Amuro's face brightens up.) Amuro: Ah..Buneos Dias indeed!! (Suddenly a shoe flies out her window and nails Amuro in the head.) Amuro: Ouchie Ouchie! Librarian: PERVERT!! ("Forbidden City" by Electronic begins to play as Amuro laughs nervously.) Amuro: I was just watching the sky! Librarian: PERVERT!!! Amuro: I swear I wasnt' watching you undress hot senorita! (Another shoe hits Amuro) Librarian: PERVERT!!! (The shot pulls away as more shoes assault Amuro. It pans to the sky and the scene fades to black.) |
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7:13 PM Jul 10