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Evergreen States Grand Prix Presents; Blazing Trails weekly show, part 2
Topic Started: Sep 10 2010, 10:17 PM (332 Views)
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Now let us retreat wench, for tonight, we feast on snobbery...
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Emerald States Grand Prix
Presents:
"Blazing Trails - Bi-Centennial Super Bash!"
Live from the Owens Hall in Portland, Oregon
July 3th, 1976
Your host: "The Voice of the Cascades" Francis Barrister
Part 2

We return to action after a long commercial break and Commissioner Barker is in the middle of the ring. Barker tells the audience, both at home and in the arena, that this next match will feature the promised mystery man who has been sending in mysterious tapes over these last two months... in addition to the return of Burt "Convoy" Murdoch! The crowd is even more shocked and champing at the bit with anticipation.

Our announcer is also surprised, amazed that Murdoch is back sooner than expected. The big man recently lost the NAGC World title to "Mr. Amazing" Peter Stanislaw, the self proclaimed "Adonis of the 21st Century". However, Barrister cannot elaborate further as the familiar truck horn sounds and Burt Murdoch is storming down to the ring - slapping hands and making the horn pull motion.

Match Five: Mystery Man vs. Burt "Convoy" Murdoch

As Murdoch is playing the crowd the National Anthem of the Soviet Union begins to blare over the public address system. From out of the back comes a man in a Soviet officer's uniform (a Colonel General) with a gray ushanka topping his head. The man is a bit taller than average, with jet black hair peppered with gray and a well trimmed but substantial beard.

Barrister: I... I don't believe this but, ladies and gentleman, it appears that some sort of Russian military man has arrived in the Pacific Northwest.

The Soviet army man enters the ring, carrying a beautiful black varnished cane, and grabs the microphone from August delaCroix, the ESGP ring announcer, and introduces himself as Colonel General Maxim Vladimirovich Kuznetsov of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. The crowd reign down boos and a few cups are thrown at the ring. Colonel Kuznetsov is unfazed and announces that he has been sent to the "cesspool of capitalist swine and bloated, fat, lazy and cowardly cockroaches that the world calls America" to win the hearts and minds of the chattel in hopes of starting the revolution in ernest.

Kuzentsov: (Russian accent) And how does one do this, you may ask. I will tell you: through superior Soviet athletic prowess. We already have you beaten at the Olympic games and now it is time we crush you in your beloved wrestling ring. I introduce to you the first member of the Iron Curtain! From Jassy, in the Socialist Republic of Romania; he is 1.98 meters(6'6") 136kg (300lbs) - this is Mr. Romania!

A large, heavily muscled man in red, blue and yellow wrestling trunks marches out. He has short blond hair and an angry look on his face. Murdoch holds his nose and makes a motion trying to clear the air of the foul odor of Kuzentsov. Mr. Romania slowly enters the ring.

Kuzentsov: Today is only the beginning of the new order. We bring salvation from your capitalist oppressors, whether you want it or not. We do this for you, our oppressed brethren. Do not fight us or we will break you.

The bell rings and Murdoch begins clapping and stamping his feet, getting an even louder U-S-A chant going. Murdoch, a big man of 300+ pounds, and Mr. Romania lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. Murdoch holds his own but the big truck driver is actually overpowered by Communist contender. The audience is momentarily taken aback. Barrister reminds everyone that Convoy was a former Northwestern heavyweight champion and world champion and a 15 year veteran of the mat wars. Mr. Romania does not seem to care as he rushes Burt and makes a grab at the big trucker from California.

Murdoch manges to move his girthy frame out of the way and Mr. Romania comes up empty. Convoy gives Mr. Romania a shoulderblock to the back and then hip tosses the new arrival. Convoy sets up for a field goal kick and the sound of Burt's foot hitting Mr. Romania's back echoes across the arena. Another U-S-A chant emerges and Burt Murdoch obliges with another horn motion. Mr. Romania does not rest on his laurels and is up much faster than anyone anticipated, as the collective gasp from Barrister and the audience is very loud. The Romanian charges Murdoch and delivers a drop kick. No one expected a man of Mr. Romania's size to be able to get off the ground. Convoy falls back into the turnbuckles but charges Romania... and is powerslammed! The ring rocks and the crowd is stunned into a deep silence. Murdoch winces and grabs his lower back.

Kuzentsov begins to yell orders in Russian and Mr. Romania salutes his commanding officer. Burt does not let this opportunity slip as he punches the soldier in the stomach once, twice, three times! Fist clenched, Convoy finishes his combination with a double axe handle to the buckled over Soviet. Mr. Romania is on the defensive and the crowd is making horn noises. The big rig from Big Bear Lake throws Romania into the ropes and hits him with an elbow. A sleeper hold from the trucker is meant to slow the muscled monster down but as the referee is checking the hold, Kuzentsov spits at Murdoch. "Holy hell, the big rig don't go for that," comments Barrister.

Murdoch releases the hold and is jaw jacking with the Colonel General for a time when Mr. Romania capitalizes on the distraction and locks Convoy into half a full nelson. The Californian tries to hold off but the son of Jassy, Romania, finally locks in the other arm. Murdoch screams in agony but refuses to submit but eventually is forced into giving up from the sheer strength of the foreigner. The folks in attendance are dead quiet.


Winner: Mr. Romania (Iron Vise full nelson @ 16:33)

...but Mr. Romania will not release the hold! Barrister is aghast and some folks in the crowd want to jump the railing! Trash is being thrown in an attempt to get the evil foreigner to break his submission hold but he keeps it on. Finally, from out of the back comes Jack Shaw and Jimmy Ballywack. The Colonel General barks and order and Mr. Romania drops the obviously hurt Murdoch and the two leave the ring, with Ballywack and Shaw urging the two to try their hand with even odds. However, Convoy is still laying on the mat and it looks like medical personnel are making their way to ringside. Barrister is beside himself with worry and rage. Of course, as if things could not get any worse, the familiar cry of "COBB IS KING!" echoes from the public address system and Tyrus "KING" Cobb rumbles out, with a ham in one hand and the Cascades title in the other. With him is the "Big Time" and Ballywack knows it is just about time for their match. Security steps in to prevent things from starting just yet and another commerical break hits the airwaves (something about volcanoes and readiness along with a tourism ad for Beaverton, Oregon).

Match six: Cascade Mountains Championship title match: Jimmy "Big Bang" Ballywack vs. Tyrus "KING" Cobb ©

Barrister is still trying to come to terms with what just happened to Burt "Convoy" Murdoch, talking about how a neck injury cut short Convoy's midwest stint and was a reason he lost the NAGC world championship earlier this year. Meanwhile, Jimmy "Big Bang" Ballywack is being held back by Jack Shaw as Cobb is taunting him from the ring steps.

The big man from Strawberry Point, Iowa steps into the ring and the referee calls for the bell. Ballywack charges right into a giant boot to the face from Cobb, staggering back towards the center of the ring. Cobb moves and clubs Jimmy in the head with an overhead right to the top of the head. Big Bang's knees wobble, but that long, white haired maniac won't fall. Cobb shoves Ballywack to the ground but the long haired freaky man from Baton Rouge gets right back up.

After even more brawling and a long bear hug into a belly to belly suplex, Ballywack is on the ropes. Headbutt after headbutt after headbutt from Strawberry Point's bald mountain busts Jimmy wide open. Cobb then picks up the large fan favorite from Louisiana and dumps him on the floor. Barrister is livid, cursing Commissioner Barker for changing the top rope rule but then Barker also realizes that because the top rope rule is no longer utilized that Ballywack still has a chance. Cobb sits his massive frame down in the middle of the ring, laughing his booming "HAR-HAR-HAR" laugh at everyone while wiping his brow.

On the floor, Ballywack is already at a 5 count and is barely on one knee. At 6 he's managed to pull himself upright. 7, he's got one leg up on the apron. When the count comes to 8, Jimmy is almost there. Cobb starts to stand, lumbering up to his two feet while the referee is at 9. Baton Rouge's favorite son has made it back in the ring but Cobb is there to drag him back into the center. "KING" Cobb laughs again, infuriating the fans because Cobb is now posing and acting like Ballywack. The huge, fat frame of Cobb then comes down on Ballywack, but only for a 2 count!

Big Bang shoots his shoulder up and Cobb grabs the referee by the collar and demands to know why he counted slow. Ballywack begins to roll underneath Cobb, freeing himself. Cobb is too annoyed with the referee to notice. The bloodied face of Big Bang is shown as J to the 3 B gets up using the ropes. Cobb, now aware his seat has moved, gets up and turns around.

BAM! Huge running forearm from Ballywack! Cobb almost moves back! Big Bang starts stomping that left foot of his and delivers another forearm, Cobb is stunned. Right hand! The audience knows what this is and shouts: "WHAM". A left hand! "BAM!" Ballywack runs into the ropes and delivers a giant left boot! Barrister completes the name: Wham, Bam, Thank'ya Ma'm! Ballywack falls to his knees as Cobb teeters on the bring.

The audience is as loud as it can be as Cobb is stumbling. Ballywack finally can stand and he pushes the fat man down, shaking the ring and the camera. Ballywack falls down on Cobb, near exhaustion as the referee counts 1, 2... Johnstone lunging into the ring... 3!

Ballywack has done it; ending the reign of rhino from the midwest! Johnstone, Cobb's sometimes tag team partner and manager, begins kicking Ballywack immediately but Ballywack getts up to his feet and looks angry! Teddy's eyes go wide and he knows Ballywack is in the Freakzone! Ballywack grabs hold of Johnstone's collar as Teddy tries to run away. A spin around, a right, then a left and Johnstone is basically out cold. But Jimmy ain't done! Another Wham, Bam, Thank Ya Ma'am to Johstone. Before Jimmy can do more to the "Big Timer" Cobb has pulled his pal out of the ring. The fat man from Stawberry Point has a finger held up, pointing to Ballywack. "We ain't finished, ya damned freak! COBB IS KING!" and the two go back to the dressing room.

Meanwhile, Ballywack is given the Cascade Mountains title belt and celebrates on the turnbuckles while the crowd washes its adoration of him and his accomplishment onto Jimmy.

Winner and new Cascade Mountains Champion: Jimmy "Big Bang" Ballywack (Wham, Bam, Thank Ya Ma'am combination @ 18:41)

Match seven: Northwestern Tag Team Championship title match: The Cold Warriors vs. South Pacific Tidal Waves ©

The audience is still buzzing from the dethroning of the hated "KING" when the Cold Warriors break the good mood. Instead of "Big Time" Teddy Johnstone, it is Colonel General Maxim Vladimirovich Kuznetsov leading "Mr. America" Alexsandr Olenskaya and "Soviet Superstar" Sammy Calhoun. The Russians get an ear full of hate but Calhoun gets even more. Sammy Calhoun was once a strong fan favorite but his turning, and subsequent driving out, of Wilddog Savage has left these fans with a bitter taste in their mouth. After tonight's happenings and that history it is no wonder that the crowd is blazing hot for the appearance of the Witch Doctor, Slave Girl Lala and the South Pacific Tidal Waves.

The fans stomp their feet as Kila and Pago Pago do the Haka, preparing to meet the big Soviet tag team head on. There is no wasting time as "Mr. America" sneers an refuses to let the duo complete their dance as he charges directly at th Ma'ori, Pago Pago! The crowd gasps at this grave insult! Pago Pago and Olenskaya beat the living hell out of one another, already both are busted open after only 5 minutes of action. Pago Pago keeps biting Alexsandr, much to the delight of the Soviet hating crowd.

Colonel General Kuznetsov seems unconcerned, checking his watch. Meanwhile, Pago Pago has tagged in Kila Ki'aihua and the two play duelling headbutts, leaving Alexsandr down on the mat, counting lights while Kila is covered in his blood! Pago Pago sticks his tongue out and some of the crowd do the same. The Witch Doctor begins casting a spell on the outside, with the help of the audience starting a chant and Slave Girl Lala dancing.

Alexsandr is crawling to Sammy Calhoun but Kila picks him up... and forces the tag to Calhoun! Barrister tells those unfamiliar with the two that they have a history against one another. Wildman Savage and Sammy Calhoun were once tag team champions that kept beating the Tidal Waves. Kila screams at Calhoun and Sammy simply says: "Oooh baby, it's on!". Calhoun feints a punch but gives Kila a kick to the gut then a big bulldog! Calhoun points his index finger up and waggles it, then brings it up to his lips to "Shhh!" the crowd as he kicks Kila in the face! Barrister lets it be known that in no uncertain terms: "Sammy Calhoun is a digusting traitor; a vile man who's loyalty can be bought and sold like some cheap trinket at a flea market!"

Eventually Kila and Calhoun end up bloodied as well. Slave Girl Lala keeps dancing to the beat of the drum the Witch Doctor seems to have found. Occasional "hoys" come in a chant form as the two men in the ring are just punching the living snot out of one another. Kila goes on a headbutt spree that knocks Calhoun down on the canvas. Kila tags to Pago Pago and the two deliver a tandem suplex that rocks the ring.

Time passes and everyone is bleeding heavily and taking deep, exhausted breaths. Blood has soaked the mat and Pago Pago has just put down Olenskaya with a military press slam. Kuznetsov looks down at his watch and signals to the back. The two men from earlier in the evening in the black, yellow and red masks rush down to ring side while Pago Pago tags in Kila and the two apply the double Asiatic Spike onto "Mr. America". The referee is distracted, though, and everyone is taken aback by the masked men clobbering the Witch Doctor. Mr. Romania comes down to ringside and joins in the fracas by stealing Slave Girl Lala. Kuznetsov makes a gesture to Calhoun and tosses the Soviet Superstar his exquisite cane. Calhoun rushes into the fray and fires off a baseball swing to the back of the head of Kila as both Tidal Waves and the referee are distracted... or so it seems. The referee catches this action out of the corner of his eye and signals for the bell. This matters not as the two masked men run into the ring as well and begin to help in the dismantling of the South Pacific Tidal Waves.

Kuznetsov merely golf claps as four members of his group lay out the SPTW. Finally, Kuznetsov snaps his fingers and the men stop. The Soviet Colonel General takes the house microphone from the announce table, while catching a very mean look from Francis Barrister, and talks as his men surround him.

"You see, Americanskis? Do you see just what is in store for your heroes? You cheer for people you hated once, just because you think you can use them like you use the rest of the world in your panic about the Soviet machine. The Soviet Bloq is here, in your so called Evergreen States Grand Prix to finish off each and every one of the best you have to offer. When we crush anyone you think will save you, then, and only then, will we listen to you people, with tears staining your fat capitalist cheeks, and take you in. You will willingly want to join with the Motherland because you will know her strength. Your hearts and minds will be ours, but not before we have broken anyone that would be stupid enough to stand in our way.

Before I go, let me introduce you to my other charges, they are the East German Dynamos - Berthold Vogel & Ekkehard Ostheim!"

Those more knowledgable fans recongize the German tag team that took Europe by storm and later would have a blood fued in Big City Wrestling with Slik & Sleek. The two men demask, showing the faces of Berthold "Gold" Vogel and Ekkehard "Iron" Ostheim. The two blond haired, flat topped blue eyed German wrestling machines let out mocking snorts as they join their brethren in the Soviet Bloq. The Bloq then, collectively, leaves ringside to an almost unending torrent of boos.

Winners: South Pacific Tidal Waves (via disqualification @ 22:01)

More advertising for the Rage Across the Cascades and a bitter reminder in showing Burt "Convoy" Murdoch scheduled to appear. News on the soon to be in MLB Seattle Mariners and upcoming inaugural Seahawks franchise. Richard Mason, Sr. elocution lessons round out notable advertisments.

Match eight: Northwestern States Heavyweight Championship title match: "Longhorn" Jack Shaw vs. Carmen Olathe ©

Barrister gives us word that Burt Murdoch has been taken to the local emergency room and that early word is that he has suffered yet another neck injury. Barrister puts that aside to remind everyone about how Shaw qualified to face Olathe, surviving an 20 man battle royal to challenge #1 contender Adrian Bathwaite. Commissioner Barker suddenly makes his way down to the announce area and tells "The Voice of the Cascades" that Olathe and Shaw have agreed to have a special match... one with Count Adrian Bathwaite as a third participant. This news rocks both Francis and the audience. Olathe has a score to settle with Bathwaite from Canada and Shaw doesn't much care who he fights or how many, Barker tells us. The rules state someone must pin Olathe for the title. So now we have...

Match eight: Northwestern States Heavyweight Championship title match: "Longhorn" Jack Shaw vs. Adrian Bathwaite vs. Carmen Olathe ©

Bathwaite, Shaw and Olathe circle one another when the bell rings. Bathwaite tries the gentlemanly handshake and both Olathe and Shaw punch him in the face for that idea. The two big men then go at it. Shaw, former Marine and Olathe, former boxer, lay into one another. Bathwaite waits patiently, on the mat and barely stirring. Shaw whips Olathe into the ropes but misses his big lariat. Instead, Jack meets face to face with a big ole straight left. A relatiatory short clothesline knocks Olathe back some but Carmen responds with a reverse atomic drop. Before Carmen can get his next move in, Bathwaite comes in with a side leg sweep followed by a stomp to the shoulder. Shaw is up and he picks up Adrian and uses a press-drop combination on the Count, getting a nice bounce.

Moments pass and it becomes apparent Bathwaite is at a severe disadvantage, what with him being a submission wrestler. Olathe and Shaw deliver a tandem suplex to Bathwaite and then they take turns kicking him on the ground before Olathe peppers Shaw with jabs. Side slam from Olathe followed by a big knee to the forehead keeps Shaw down for a two count. Bathwaite stops the count with a kick to the back of Olathe's head. The Count slaps Olathe hard in the face and that causes the big Alaskan to charge, leading him into an arm bar. Bathwaite has it locked in tight but Shaw recovers and ends the hold with a measured elbow drop.

Bathwaite clips Shaw's knee as Olathe rolls around holding his arm. The technician from Hong Kong then gives Shaw several hard martial arts kicks to the head before using a single leg submission. Olathe decides to use this time to recover and Shaw ends up close to giving in. The Alaskan Bear does a big splash to Bathwaite to break things up. Shaw is hobbling but up while Bathwaite is being taken to task with headbutts and a finishing suplex by Olathe. Shaw gingerly steps forward into a headlock by Olathe. Carmen then bulldogs Shaw on top of Bathwaite! Olathe isn't done as he does a standing body splash to Adrian, who looks more winded than normal.

Time passes and Olathe has a small cut above his right eye from a vicious kick The Count delivered to the side of Carmen's head. This kick is followed up by a spin kick from the agile blue blood. Shaw tries to assault Adrian from behind but is stopped by a quick spinning kick to the gut then an enzugiri to the face by the Elder of Etiquette. Bathwaite goes for a cover... but at 2 the referee notices Shaw has his foot on the ropes. Bathwaite stands up but then gets a fierce rising double axe handle to the chin from Carmen, sending him sprawling. Olathe stands over Shaw... and helps him up. Barrister tells everyone Carmen is telling Jack he "...wants to see what that punk cattle puncher from Texas has really got or if he's all guff."

The two men run to the far ropes then shoulder charge one another, seemingly moving the ring several inches. Bull charges from both lead to them laying one another out, but Bathwaite cannot capitalize as he seems to have trouble with his left side. The audience begins stomping their feet, cheering on the three men who are now getting a standing 10 count. At 5 Shaw is up, 7 Olathe. Finally, at 9, Bathwaite has risen, though he is sweating buckets and a bit of blood comes from out of his mouth.

Later in the match, Bathwaite is taking a high risk move while a tired Shaw & Olathe exchange shoulder blocks. Bathwaite leaps off the top in a body splash, knocking Olathe over into a direct headbutt to Shaw's nose. Blood pours out of Shaw's nose and it is obvious to all it is broken. Olathe is down and Shaw is holding his nose. This is Adrian's big chance... but he's holding his stomach and it looks like he may have broken a few ribs. "Longhorn" is pissed and, while wincing, takes Bathwaite up on his shoulder and powerslams the already hurt man into the mat mercilessly. The Count howls in pain. Over in the far corner, Carmen Olathe has managed to woozily climb up to one knee. Out of the corner of his eye he spies Shaw and decides now is the time to charge to finish this match... and gets a massive lariat that takes him off his feet for his trouble! Can Jack cover? The time limit is almost up and the audience is counting: 1! "Longhorn", who is on his knees, staggers to get up. 2: Jack is up. 3: Adrian stirs. At 4 Shaw finally sees a laid out Olathe. Shaw stands up to get over to Olathe at 5 but his knee buckles. A crawl begins at 6 and he covers! 1 (7), 2 (8)... Adrian Bathwaite tries desperately to stand...


Only to be brought down by his ribs! 3! It's over! Jack Shaw has dethroned Carmen Olathe! Oddly, streams fly from the audience and not so oddly, Barrister is yelling up a storm while Shaw, drenched in sweat, blood gasps for breath. Bathwaite is being attended to by the EMTs while Olathe sits up and tells the referee off. Carmen hustles up to his feet as best he can, which isn't that quick, and goes right for Shaw. Jack looks at him, fists up and willing to keep going... and Carmen extends his hand! Huge crowd pop and the Olathe raises Shaw's hand!


Winner: Jack Shaw (rushing lariat @ 29:59)

Just as everyone is enjoying themselves, we see Mr. Romania and Colonel General Maxim Vladimirovich Kuznetsov standing in the aisle. Olathe moves in front of Shaw but the big, young hoss from Texas shakes his head and points at the muscle bound freak from the Soviet Union. Kuznetsove mouths the words: "You are next" and Barrister is beside himself. Shaw motions to bring it on but Mr. Romania stands still, burning a hole in the new champion. Commissioner Barker states that some action will be taken against the Soviet Bloq but Barrister reminds me that we are out of time. Fade to the copyright information and ESGP logo!
Have I told you how much I loathe your continued existence today?

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