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The Epitome of Cool vs. The Fraternity Boys; The Sing-a-Long Match
Topic Started: Sep 30 2010, 01:18 PM (463 Views)
El Dandy
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Is the She of the fight!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[AC/DC's live version of "Moneytalks" comes over the PA as the crowd goes
nuts and the Coolio's blow the roof off the place. Out steps "Acme" Andrew
Sterling and Dan "Cool Cat" Thomas. Both look different in their new
wrestling attire. Sterling's sporting some lycra short-shorts with a white
stripe down both sides. He's wearing kneebraces with black pads on the
knee and bend in the knee and a red neoprene material between the pads.
Black wrestling boots with red trim, red elbow pads, and black wrist tape
completes his attire. Dan's attire is the same except for red, his
predominant color is blue. He's also sporting a black bandanna around his
head. With the EMWC tag titles around their waist, they head to the ring.
Sterling breaks out into the GLIDE~! as Thomas gives DAGRIN~! in
rememberance of their once proud commrade in sexual conquest arms, Eddie
Van Gibson.]

JS: The Epitome of Cool sporting new outfits tonight.

LD: Their old ones must have been messed up in that match with Demon Boy
Ishrinku last night.

BL: No. They just want you to notice their bodies, Lori.

LD: Oh. Well in that case...

[Sterling gets to the ring and climbs to the apron. Dan uses the steps and
gets to the apron. Sterling steps into the ring and moves to the center
and starts to gyrate his hips a bit. Dan acends to the second turnbuckle,
on the outside, and unstraps his belt. He raises it over his head as their
music comes to a halt. Sterling gets the mic from Ken Graham.]

AS: All right. Look, last night was a mistake on our part. We
underestimated just how good Demon Boy Ishrinku is. We _knew_ he was out
of his element last night in the King of the Death Match.

[Andrew pauses as Dan does the shifty-eyed look coming off the turnbuckle.
There's a mixed pop from the crowd and a pop from the Coolios.]

AS: So consider yourself lucky that you beat the most extreme team in EMWC
history, Ishy! You were lucky we had jet lag and EL cooked for us the
night before and gave us the runs!

[Andrew nods.]

AS: Now, enough about last night and let's get to the thick of the matter.
Over a year ago, when the Epitome of Cool won these belts the first time.

[He looks at the crowd.]

AS: And held them breaking the Fraternity Boys' record for longest reign,
we were scheduled against a mystery team in our first defense. We win
these belts a second time and the same thing happens.

[Andrew arches a brow.]

AS: Why is that? I don't have a clue. No clue at all as to who this team
is and why we always have to face a mystery team. You know what though?
They had to go out and _find_ a mystery team. You know what that means?
This mystery team won't be any good.

[Andrew passes the mic off to Dan.]

DT: He's right, folks. The Coolsiahs are hailed as _the_ greatest team in
EMWC history, and there's no one here to dispute that. What? You actually
think someone Strictly Business is going to walk down that aisle? Do you
think the Benjamins are going to show up?

[Dan shakes his head.]

DT: You know the Natural Predators won't be here.

AS: Let's hope not.

DT: And I highly doubt it the Fraternity Boys are going to show up...

["YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!"

Da-DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN..."KICK IT!"

[_MASSIVE POP_! Dan Thomas hops into Andrew's arms and drops the mic.
They both look at the aisle, Andrew's knees shaking and both with petrified
looks on their faces]

LD: It can't be...IT CAN'T BE!

[Yep.

"Fight For Your Right" by the Beastie Boys kicks in, full force, echoing
across the FleetCenter. The fans all leap to their feet, each and every one
up, and those with beer holding their cups up high, screaming their lungs
out]

BL: I'm hoping to God this is a trick, Jon...I do not want to see these
jokers back in this league!

[Sorry, Brian...it's true, it's true. Somehow, someway, the face pop gets
even louder as the curtains pop...

...and for the first time in a year and a half, the Fraternity Boys stand
before an EMWC crowd]

JS: OH MY GOD! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FRATERNITY BOYS ARE BACK IN THE
EMWC!

["The Drunken Icon" Chris O'Brien stands on one end of the entranceway,
staring at the Boston faithful. Clad in a pair of blue jeans and a Boston
Celtics basketball jersey, O'Brien looks...prays...and he throws his arms in
the air, and dives off the ramp into the crowd! Somehow, the fans don't
drop the Crackhead, and they carry him around on their hands, a wide smile
on the face of O'Brien.

Back up on the rampway, "The First American Badass" Brian McKenzie finishes
downing a six-pack of beer. Yeah, a six-pack of Budweiser 20 oz "Slammer"
cans. Wearing tan slacks and a green button-up shirt, along with a pair of
wire-rimmed glasses not seen in the EMWC since the days of Christopher
Stonebreaker, McKenzie hurls the cans into the crowd before turning and
charging his way to the ring!]

LD: I can't believe it! I thought I'd never see that damn goofball O'Brien
back in this federation!

BL: What did he get kicked out for anyway?

LD: A alcohol consoling session gone horribly wrong.

BL: Define horribly wrong.

LD: A 150% spike in underage drinking in Southern California.

BL: And that's BAD? This from a federation with barbed wired baseball bats
and exploding rings?

LD: Apparently so.

BL: Morons.

JS: I can't believe this! The Epitome of Cool has been THE tag team in the
EMWC for nearly two years...a position formerly head by the Fraternity Boys!

LD: The OLD Fraternity Boys, Jon. Gus Zampitella was put out of wrestline
permanently when Paul Wong broke his back and legs about six months ago.
It's unknown yet whether Brian McKenzie, another of O'Brien's fraternity
brothers, can fill Zampitella's shoes.

BL: Or your bed, for that matter.

LD: For your information, I never slept with Gus. Chris, though...

BL: Though?

LD: Let me put it to you this way...they don't call him "Ron Jeremy's Stunt
Double" for nothing.

[O'Brien gets dropped off at ringside, and together he and McKenzie roll
into the ring. They climb the turnbuckles, arms raised, soaking in the
cheers, enjoying the moment with inebriated joy...

...before climbing down and facing the Epitome of Cool.

Silence between the two teams, although the fans are going nuts. The
Coolios cheer their two men, while a bunch of drunken fans try to form
Greece by spilling beer all over each other.

[O'Brien pulls a microphone from his back pocket, and raises it to his lips,
pointing at the EoC across the ring]

COB: So...you thought you could run from us, did you?

[Andrew's knees shake as both Coolsiahs shake their heads desparately
trying to avoid the wrath of the "Drunken Icon." We can even hear Andrew
saying, "N-n-n-no s-s-s-s-sir!"]

COB: You two idiots thought you could just waltz around, saying what you
said about us, talking smack, talking trash, calling us all kinds of
names...

[O'Brien looks Sterling dead in the eye]

COB: ...I even heard one of you two accused the Fraternity Boys of
being...sober?

AS: Oh, God no! We'd never, ever do that!

COB: Don't you lie to me!

[O'Brien stabs a finger at Sterling, causing him to jump back a few feet]

COB: I heard you spreading those filthy filthy lies! How dare you accuse
Brian and myself of being fine upstanding young men!

Well...after chasing you two cowards around, we've finally cornered you here
in...in...

[O'Brien leans back towards his partner]

COB: Dude, where are we?

BM: Boston.

COB: Oh, yeah...we've finally cornered you here in Boston, California!

[POP...followed by a 'HUH?']

BM: Dude, we're not in California.

COB: Huh...OH! DUH! Ok...we've finally cornered you here in Boston, New
England...

[POP...these fans will take what they can get from a guy who chugs paint
thinner for fun]

COB: ...Simon...Paul...it's time for you two to die.

[Shocked silence...]

LD: Simon?

JS: Paul?

BL: I can't believe this! These idiots think the Epitome of Cool are Simon
O'Neal and Paul Wong, the Machines! WRONG FED, MORONS!

[McKenzie takes the mic from O'Brien's hands at Sterling and Thomas look at
each other, puzzled]

BM: I've been waiting to get my hands on you for six months, after you two
gave me a freakin' swirlie and left me bound and gagged in front of a N.O.W.
convention...

AS: Dude...I think you're confused. That...wasn't us.

DT: Yeah, man, we've never had a problem with you guys before.

BM: Oh? Then who the hell was it who gave me an Orange Crush Bomb through
the damn announcers table a few weeks ago!

AS: Hey, I don't even know what the hell an Orange Crush Bomb is!

[Dan leans in and whispers something to Andrew.]

AS: Oh! [Looks at Dan] So _that's_ an orange crush bomb?

[Dan nods.]

BM: Don't try to talk your way out of this...

COB: Actually, Brian...maybe we should be nice.

BM: Huh?

COB: It may be the alcohol talking...

LD: MAY be?

COB: ...but it's Halloween...

BM: No it's not, dude! It's the first weekend of October...

COB: Come on, it's Halloween.

BM: No it's not.

COB: Oh...oh, yeah.

[All four men in the ring look at the camera]

COB, BM, AS, and DT: It IS the first weekend in October.

COB: Anyway, let's be nice. Simon, Paul, give us one good reason not to
kick your ass, right her in Boston, Maine!

[McKenzie shakes his head as the EoC respond]

AS: Because I'm Andrew? And he's Dan? We're the Epitome of Cool? And
not the Machines? Or... we're cool?

DT: And you're not?

COB: Wait...are you guys implying WE'RE not cool?

DT: DUH!

BM: You're implying we...suck?

AS: Yes. Yes, we are saying you guys do suck.

JS: Well, Sterling's feeling more sure of himself...

BL: Considering the Boys can barely see straight...man, I can smell the
vodka all the way over here!

COB: Hold on...I'm looking at two of the biggest flamers this side of the
Rich and Infamous...and you're telling us about being cool.
Mother[BLEEP]er, we DEFINED the hard partying lifestyle.

DT: First off, we ARE the Epitome of Cool, and second, hard drinking, hard
partying, and loose women do not a cool lifestyle make...

AS: Um...actually, Dan, it does.

DT: ...and second, you two wouldn't know cool if it bit you in the buttocks!

COB: And in response to you two...you are definitely not the Epitome of
Cool. Those two scrawny idiots couldn't get laid if Lori Dane was on
NyQuil, qualuudes, a fifth of vodka, and morphine at the same time!

DT: Hey!

BM: Yeah, man...I mean, have you see the chicks the EoC pal around with? Of
course not, THEY NEVER GO OUT WITH ANY!

AS: Not true! Jessie James...

COB: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY COW, HAVE YOU SEEN THE JAMES FAMILY???

DT: Yeah, and they're soooooo much better than the Marshall clan. I mean,
look at that loser Rebecca Marshall you're dating...

[Silence...]

COB: Take that back, or else we'll take those belts from you.

BM: Uh, oh...you sobered him up, fellas. Not good.

[Sterling and Thomas step back, looking at each other...]

AS and DT: Oh, screw it.

[And with those brave words...and of course, referee Juan Diablo running
down to ringside...]


LD: We got a tag team title match!

[McKenzie and Sterling back away as O'Brien cracks his knuckles, pointing at
Thomas, who warms up on the ropes]

JS: There's the opening bell as O'Brien and Thomas start out for their
respective teams. Both teams are arguably two of the greatest tag teams in
EMWC if not the greatest EMWC has ever seen.

BL: They didn't see Claw and James.

LD: Thomas and O'Brien around the same size. Collar-and-elbow tieup and
Thomas with a quick armdrag and sinches in an armbar on O'Brien. O'Brien
right back to his feet as Dan turns that into a hammerlock.

JK: Side-step and go-behind into a hammerlock of his own by O'Brien!
O'Brien with a drop toehold now to take the Vancouver native off his feet
completely. O'Brien moves up and clamps on a side-headlock!

LD: Dan Thomas trying to his get positioning. He grabs O'Brien around the
waist and rolls O'Brien onto his shoulders!





1...




2...





shoulder up!

BL: Can someone go get me a hotdog?

JS: O'Brien rolls right back into that side-headlock! Thomas fights to
his feet. He pushes O'Brien to the ropes and fires him off! O'Brien
rebounds, but McKenzie tags himself in!

LD: Thomas with a leap frog over O'Brien. O'Brien stops himself as Thomas
just looks at him! Dropkick from behind sends Thomas towards O'Brien...
[POP!] lariat turns the EoC'er inside out!

BL: Good observation skills above the belt line.

LD: Stuff it!

BL: No thank you. Not with you.

JS: Thomas brought to his feet. Double whip into the ropes. Thomas taken
_high_ into the air with a flapjack! Thomas down on his stomach! McKenzie
pulls Thomas up. Right hand from the newer Frat. He fires in with another
hand that staggers Thomas back to the turnbuckle!

LD: McKinzie up to the second turnbuckle. He holds a closed fist as
Greece cheers him on!

[McKenzie starts hammer down with the punches as Greece counts.


ONE!


TWO!


THREE!


FOUR!


FIVE!


SIX!


SEVEN!


EIGHT!


NINE!


TEN!]

BL: I hate these morons.

JS: McKenzie down onto the mat and he tosses Thomas down to the mat.
McKenzie pulls Thomas back to his feet with a handful of hair. He fires
one-half of the tag team champions into the ropes. Thomas rebounds... and
a backdrop takes him to the mat!

[The crowd turns and starts to cheer as the Ghost Dancers make their way
down to ringside.]

BL: Looks like we're going to have company.

JS: Jason and Michael Keening are making their way to the ring to watch
this match with interest. They have to be the next in line for a shot
against the champions.

LD: Thomas brought back to his feet. McKenzie scoops him up. He looks
around as Greece continues to cheer on one of their icons! Fallaway slam!
Cover by McKenzie!





1...





2...





kickout!

BL: Thomas does the wrong thing and kicks out to prolong this match.

JS: McKenzie brings Thomas to his feet again. This time he fires the
EoC'er into the turnbuckle. McKenzie charges in... [POP from the Coolios!]
Thomas got his boot up! McKenzie staggers out a bit! Thomas comes out and
takes the Frat to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker!

LD: Thomas with a legdrop to the back of McKenzie's head. He pulls
McKinzie up and sinches in a reverse chinlock. He's pulling back, burying
his knee into McKenzie's back.

BL: Just like most of the EMWC locker room buries their...

LD: SHUT UP!

BL: ... into your...

LD: SHUT UP!

JS: Greece now cheering on McKenzie!

[It's more of a "CHUG, CHUG, CHUG" chant, but it works.]

LD: McKenzie back to his feet. He fires an elbow into the midsection. He
fires in another one to break the chinlock! McKenzie off the ropes, but
Thomas with a knee to the gut to take the Frat back down to the mat!

BL: On his back, which many claim is your best position I might add.

LD: I'm going to ignore you for the rest of this match.

BL: Okay.

JS: Thomas pulls McKenzie back up. Another quick kneelift to the gut to
double him over. Thomas off the ropes and a kneelift to the face this
time! Thomas pulls McKenzie back to his feet. Another knee to the gut!
Off the ropes again and drops McKenzie with a rocker dropper this time!

LD: Thomas up to his feet. He heads to the ring apron and up the
turnbuckle. He's perched! McKenzie to his feet. He turns around...
flying cross body press puts him on his back!





1...





2...





kickout!

BL: And McKenzie kicked out after a weak move. Surprised? I'm not.

JS: Thomas gets back to his feet. He pulls McKinzie up and takes him down
with a headlock takedown. Thomas going back to a bit of his amateur style.
He wrestled in the Greco-Roman style before turning professional.

LD: Dan keeps that headlock clamaped on, but McKinzie pushes himself right
back to his feet. Thomas with the tag to Sterling. Sterling comes in and
a double whip into the ropes. Double elbowsmash sends the Pitt student
down to the mat.

BL: McKinzie is brought back up. Double front chancery... and double
suplex by the tag team champions. If they want to retain those belts,
they'll need better team moves than that.

JS: Thomas to the ring apron as Sterling takes over for the EoC. He
brings McKinzie back to his feet and takes him over with a belly-to-belly
overhead suplex. Sterling with a cover!





1...





2...





shoulder up!

LD: Sterling gets back to his feet. He pulls McKinzie up and sends the
Frat for a ride into the ropes. McKinzie rebounds and is taken down with a
tilt-a-whirl suplex! There's a tag to Dan Thomas again!

BL: Quick tags do work.

JS: Sterling places McKinzie on one turnbuckle as Thomas mounts the
opposing! Sterling with a superplex! Thomas with a flying bodypress and a
cover!





1...





2...





3...





[Pop from Greece!]

LD: McKinzie kicked out! Thomas can't believe it. Thomas pulls McKinzie
back up to his feet. He sends him for a ride! Dropkick sends the Frat
down to the match. McKinzie needs to make a tag.

BL: What gives you that idea?

JS: Thomas with another tag to Sterling. Sterling comes in as Thomas
brings McKinzie up. Thomas scissors McKinzie's head and lifts him up.
Sterling spikes the piledriver!

LD: Thomas out of the ring as Sterling makes another cover!





1...





2...





3...





[POP!]

kickout!

BL: Indeed.

JS: McKinzie kicks out! He's taking a lot punishment in there, but he's
refusing to give up! Sterling gets back to his feet. He pulls McKinzie up
and fires McKinzie into the ropes. McKinzie reverses and catches Sterling
on the rebound... [POP!] _URANAGE_! He just hit a uranage that took
Sterling out of his boots!

LD: O'Brien has his hand out to make the tag. McKinzie getting to his
knees as Sterling starts to stir a bit. [POP!] McKiznie dives and makes
the tag to O'Brien! O'Brien into the ring... [_HUGE_ POP!] _SPEAR_! _SPEAR_!

BL: Copyright infringement.

JS: Sterling taken out of his boots with that shoulder tackle! O'Brien
brings Sterling back up and hooks in a front chancery. He looks around and
lifts Sterling _high_ into the air... [POP!] and drops him down into a
modified powerslam! The cover!





1...





2...





3...





[Pop from the Coolios.]





_NO!_

LD: Thomas with the save! Thomas with the save! Here comes McKinzie! A
clothesline sends Thomas out of the ring! The Fraternity Boys are in
control now! They pulls Sterling up. They whip him into the ropes.
McKinzie catches him with a spinebuster and... [POP!] _OW_!

BL: O'Brien with a reverse neckbreaker as Sterling came down.

JS: Thomas back up onto the ring apron! McKinzie charges at Thomas and
the two go out of the ring with a flying clothesline from McKinzie!
O'Brien pulls Sterling back to his feet! O'Brien with a kick to the
midsection! O'Brien scoops Sterling up and slams him to the mat!

LD: O'Brien headed up to the top turnbuckle now! He comes off with a
corkscrew flying bodypress!

BL: More like he just sorta jumped and spun around..

{{{TTTHHHUUUDDD}}}

[COOLIOS POP!]

JS: STERLING MOVED! STERLING MOVED! O'Brien hit nothing but mat!
McKinzie and Thomas are going at it on the outside of the ring as the Ghost
Dancers continue to look on!

LD: O'Brien getting back to his feet. He pulls Sterling up, but Sterling
with a punch right to O'Brien's gut. He gets up and kicks O'Brien in the
gut again! Double underhook... [_HUGE_ POP!] _CORINTHIAN PLUNGE_! THAT'S
HIS MOVE! STERLING WITH A COVER!











1...











2...











3!!!











[GREECE POP!]











JS: NO! O'BRIEN GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! HE GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! STERLING
CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

LD: Thomas and McKinzie back to their respective corners! Sterling pulls
O'Brien up and pulls him over to his corner. He makes the tag to Thomas.
Thomas comes in. EoC whip him into the ropes. Double hotshot!

BL: O'Brien looking pretty bad in there.

JS: Thomas pulls O'Brien up again. He sends him for a ride into the ropes
again! [POP!] McKinzie makes the tag as O'Brien rebounds! Thomas with a
frankensteiner! He gets right back to his feet!

LD: And Thomas gets turned inside out from a running lariat by McKinzie!
McKinzie brings Thomas to his feet! He scissors the tag champs head and
pulls him up! He falls forward into a face-first piledriver!

BL: McKinzie pulling Thomas up. He whips him into the turnbuckle.

JS: McKinzie charges in and lands a nasty running forearm right to Thomas'
jaw! [POP!] McKinzie now just unloading with punches! McKinzie fires
Thomas to the other turnbuckle! Thomas hits chest first and falls back to
the mat!

LD: McKinzie isn't letting up! He pulls Thomas to his feet one more time
and scoops Thomas up onto his shoulder! [GREECE POP!] _MINNIE DRIVER_! HE
HIT IT! HE HIT IT! IN COMES STERLING, BUT HE'S CUT OFF BY O'BRIEN!











1...











2...











3!!!











[COOLIOS POP!]











JS: NO! THOMAS GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! THOMAS GOT HIS SHOULDER UP!
MCKINZIE CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

BL: Neither can I.

JS: McKinzie pulls Thomas back to his feet! He pulls the EoC'er back to
his corner and tags out to O'Brien. O'Brien int the ring! He hooks in a
front chancery and takes Thomas down with a suplex!

LD: O'Brien heads up to the top turnbuckle! He leaps... [POP!] frog splash!

BL: Not exactly a five-star spectacle either.

JS: O'Brien calling and saying that's it! He climbs to the top
turnbuckle... [GREECE POP!] _UGLIEST DAMN MOONSAULT IN THE GAME TODAY_!

BL: You can say that again. Man, that was horrid.

LD: THE COVER!











1...











2...











3!!!












[COOLIOS POP!]











JS: STERLING WITH THE SAVE! STERLING WITH THE SAVE! IN COMES MCKINZIE...
[POP!] Exploder suplex! McKinzie rolls out of the ring! O'Brien to his
feet, but he's taken down with an aztec suplex from Sterling!

LD: Sterling pulls O'Brien up and points Thomas to the top turnbuckle!
Thomas out to the ring apron and scales the turnbuckle as Sterling sets
O'Brien up into a vertical suplex position and holds him there! This is
it... [COOLIOS POP!] _TRIP TO COOLSVILLE_!

BL: Too much noise in thi place.

JS: Sterling rolls out of the ring as Dan makes the cover!











1...











2...











3!!!











{{{TTTHHHUUUDDD}}}











[GREECE POP!]











LD: MCKINZIE WITH THE SAVE! MCKINZIE WITH A FLYING ELBOWDROP TO BREAK IT UP!

BL: Duh.

JS: Sterling rolls back into the ring! McKinzie with a clothesline that
turns the bigger EoC'er inside out! McKinzie pulls him up and sends him
out of the ring!

LD: Thomas gets back to his feet! McKinzie charges in... [POP!] Thomas
backdrops him over the top rope and to the arena floor! O'Brien back to
his feet! Thomas taken down with a rising lariat! He was taken out of his
boots!

BL: Indeed.

JS: Thomas pulled back to his feet! He's fires into the ropes, and
Sterling back up onto the ring apron... [GREECE POP!] Epitome of Cool
collides! Sterling taken back off the ring apron!

LD: McKinzie moving around on the outside now! Thomas taken to the mat
with a belly-to-back suplex from O'Brien! McKinzie pulls Sterling up and
tosses him into the ring! McKinzie back into the ring!

BL: All four men in there now.

JS: O'Brien out to the ring apron and he's climbing to the top turnbuckle.
McKinzie lifts Sterling up... [GREECE POP!] _INITIATION_! THEY HIT IT!
THEY HIT IT! COVER BY O'BRIEN!











1...











2...











3!!!











[COOLIOS POP!]

LD: STERLING WITH THE SAVE AGAIN! STERLING WITH THE SAVE AGAIN!

BL: Sterling's the one being pinned.

LD: Er... THOMAS WITH THE SAVE! THOMAS WITH THE SAVE!

BL: Better.

JS: McKinzie charges at Thomas, but Thomas ducks a clothesline! McKinzie
turns, Thomas with a clothesline of his own to send him out of the ring!
Thomas pulls O'Brien up and drops O'Brien down with a jawbreaker! Sterling
to the outside of the ring to tangle with McKinzie!

LD: Sterling grabs O'Brien's legs! He's got him in the middle of the
ring! If he flips it, it's over.

[Coolios get behind Dan. Greece gets behind Chris.]

BL: O'Brien fighting, but not sure if he'll hang on.

[COOLIOS POP!]

JS: HE FLIPPED HIM! VANCOUVER CRAB LOCKED ON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
HE'S GOT IT ON! O'BRIEN WITH NOWHERE TO GO!

LD: This one's over! O'Brien trying to fight his way out, but he can't!
He doesn't have the strength to pull himself to the ropes!

BL: So much for a good return.

JS: If only O'Brien could draw upon the strength of Greece.

[Good thought John, 'cause that's what Greece had in mind too. One lone
Greece member raises his beer cup to the heavens. You know Greece doesn't
drink carbonated beverages. At any rate. One lone Greece member raises
his beer cup to the heavens.]

LD: He's raising his beer cup! O'Brien is looking at him! O'Brien in
pain, and it's only a matter of moments before he taps!

[Soon, other members around the arena start to do the same. Thomas and the
Coolios look on with confusion and then it starts. Thousands upon
thousands of beer in the air. O'Brien looks up and hears that first word
of the oncoming chant.]

Man: CHUG!

[More and more voices join in unison to start a choir not too unfamiliar to
"the Drunken Icon" Chris O'Brien. O'Brien looks up. It's possible there
are some memories of pre-kegstand hazing that included "chug" that he does
actually remember clearly. That's all it takes. "CHUG, CHUG, CHUG"
continues to come from Greece.]

JS: Greece on their feet trying to rally O'Brien! IT'S WORKING! O'BRIEN
PUSHING UP AND TRYING TO POWER OUT OF THE VANCOUVER CRAB!

[GREECE POPS!]

LD: HE POWERED OUT! HE POWERED OUT! DAN CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

BL: Stop shouting.

[And one Coolio, visibly upset, does the one thing you never do around a
Greece fan -- he drops his beer and spill it. On purpose.]

LD: Uh oh.

[The Greece fans stop chanting as the action continues in the ring and
outside the ring. All eyes of Greece are on that one Coolio. Then
suddenly, more and more Coolios start dropping their beer and spilling it.
Alcohol abuse is a serious offense.]

JS: What's going on between Greece and the Coolios!?

[And it's on. Greece and the Coolios break out into a fight.]

LD: OH MY GOD! MASS CARNAGE! MASS CARNAGE!

BL: Now it's getting interesting.

[The fans for the Fraternity Boys and the Epitome of Cool get into a fight.
The two teams stop battling and look on. McKinzie and Sterling get into
the ring. All four looked utterly shocked.]

JS: There's fighing going on around here! Even the Ghost DAncers looked
surprised and confused!

[O'Brien gets the mic from Ken Grahm.]

COB: No! Don't do this! You're not suppose to fight!

[To know avail. Thomas tries to reason with the Coolios.]

DT: Stop! Don't fight! Fighting never solved anything! All we are
saying, is give peace a chance!

[Still nothing. And then McKinzie and Sterling look at each other and nod.
Suddenly, USA for Africa's "We Are the World" comes over the PA system as
McKinzie takes the mic. This confuses Greece and the Coolios, who stop
fighting and look at the ring.]

BM: There comes a time. When we heed a certain call. When the world...
must come together as one. There are people dyin', oh and it's time to
lend a hand to life. The greatest gift of alllll!

[Thomas cuts in.]

DT: We could go on. Pretendin' day by day. That someone, somewhere, will
soon make a change. We are a part of... God's great big family. And the
truth, you know love is all we neeed!

[Sterling breaks in with a nice Michael Jackson voice.]

AS: We are the world! We are the children! We are the ones who make a
brighter day, so let's start givin'! [/Jackson voice] There's a choice
we're makin'. We're savin' our own lives. It's true we make a better day,
just you and me.

[Cue O'Brien.]

COB: Weelllll we'll send 'em your heart. So they know that someone cares.
And their lives will be stronger and free! As God has shown us! My [COB
begins to mutter because he doesn't know this line] And so we all, must
lend a helpin' hand!

[Sterling becomes Bruce Springstien.]

AS: We arrrrrrrrre the world! We arrrrrrrrrrre the children!
[/Springstien] We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start
givin'! There's a choice we're makin', we're savin' our own lives. It's
true we make a better day just you and me!

[McKinzie as Michael Jackson this time.]

BM: When you're down and out! And there seems no hope at all! [/Jackson]

[Dan kicks in.]

DT: Well if you just believe, there's nothing we can't [Dan mutters 'cause
he doesn't know the words.]

[O'Brien's turn. He sings like Cyndi Lauper, so you know we aren't going
to understand him.]

DT, AS, & BM: When we! Stand together as oooooooone!

COB: Woah, woah, woah, woah, woooooooooah!

Frats, EoC, Greece, & Coolios: We are the world! We are the children! We
are the ones who make a brighter days, so let's start givin'! There's a
choice we're makin'! We're savin' our own lives. It's true we make a
better day, just you and me!

[Greece and the Coolios; the Frats and EoC stand arm-in-arm and sway as
they sing. The part of the crowd not into look like they all took acid
this morning and wonder if this is real. The Ghost Dancers seem to think
they've stumbled upon bizzaro world.]

BL: What in the hell?

JS: I don't know. I just don't know. Like I say about most things either
of these teams to. No comment.

LD: Let's just cut to something. It's evident this match has ended in a
time limit draw or something. Let's just get out of here for the love of God.

JS: I agree. I understand that Jon Keeton is standing by in the locker
room with Bill Masterson...let's head back there right now!
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Frank
Dusty Gonzogas
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Okay, that made me laugh. Cheap as it may have been, that was pretty damn funny.
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CK Walker
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The President of Everything
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LMFAO

5 minutes and i still can't stop laughing. Great stuff.

Oh man... LMAO

:laugh:
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