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[MBC] The Bastard Underground Episode II - Septemb
Topic Started: Dec 9 2010, 03:44 PM (365 Views)
MBCKyle
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The Soda Dog Refreshment Squad
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Static... always static... and then the shaky feed of the old camera that so personified the last episode of the Bastard Underground. It appears as if we're now in an old bar. The light, as is the case with many old bars, isn't spectacular. In fact, it down right sucks. But we can see the faint outline of a woman. She speaks.]

Woman: I enjoy playing a thorn. Having the beauty of a rose is simply a magnificent bonus.

But don't take that the wrong way. I'm not here to profess any love for an idiot 80's rocker, his idiot 80's band and his idiot 80's song.

A rose is a rose and a thorn is a thorn.

Beauty and pain are not traits that cannot coexist. In fact, they can exist in harmony.

In fatality.

[And stepping from the light, as if summoned, is Jessica "Fatality" Marshall. With a sly smile, she takes one slow step after the other, approaching the camera.]

Fatality: What I've come to understand is that it’s not always about power. Enjoyable as it may be, just as much pleasure comes from watching other's misery. My dear sister Kathryn installed that lesson into me early.

[The camera pans slightly to the right to see Kathryn Elyson. The epitome of control, she is dressed in a tight leather overcoat and her hair is pulled into an even tighter braid. She gives a nod of acknowledgement to Jessica.]

Fatality: Thus, why I am here in the Underground.

My presence here isn't predicated on attaining power. There is no power to attain here. Here, there is only mischief. The mere existence of the Underground is a thorn in the side of a man I only wish to see whipped and chained.

I don't want power.

But I offer it.

I have resources... money, equipment, manpower. All can be made available to the Underground

Why?

Because, as my dear brother has said since the beginning, Lee's MBC is a farce. It is what it once fought against.

[The camera pans a little more, this time revealing Brandon Elyson, who is every bit the opposite of Kathryn. His hair is cut short and wild, his beard long and unruly. He's like a crazy warrior monk, standing ready to fight. He too gives a nod of acknowledgement to Jessica.]

Fatality: It is the mainstream.

And being so, the MBC is a house divided.

[Jessica smirks and takes up a place between Kathryn and Brandon.]

Fatality: With my brother and sister, the House of Elyson stands united.

When one house stands divided, a house united stands to profit.

[Brandon and Kathryn remain stoic at Jessica's side but Jess? Fatality smiles. It's a Cheshire smile that rightfully should send chills down your spine. It is with that cold, cold feeling of soul breaking that we are taken just a few feet away to where a spray painted tarp has been hung on the wall. Upon it reads:]

THE

BASTARD

UNDERGROUND

EPISODE II

[And then from the spray painted tarp, we are taken to the main area of the bar. In the center of this area is the Bastard Underground ring. A rudimentary guardrail has been setup around the ring to prevent people from swarming the mighty squared circle. But really, if anybody really wanted to get to it, they could. At ringside, a simple card table is setup. There sit two people.]

AH: How again is Jessica Marshall related to the Elysons?

[The first is a young dark haired woman, known to many as Angela "Skullbuster" Harrison, sometimes ACW wrestler and manager of Bastard Stampede's Sons of Skullhead.]

RM: Step sister. Papa Marshall got it on with Mama Elyson, which was a big to do since Papa Marshall and Papa Elyson were tag team partners at the time.

[And sitting next to her is the spiky red haired child of Ian "Pinhead" McAllister. You'd swear his voice is a step away from cracking. It's Rory McAllister.]

AH: Well look at you Mr. Wikipedia.

TM: They were the Psycho Drivers, namesake of the very same MBC tag title.

AH: All right, enough already.

RM: You asked.

AH: Hello, to all our YouTube watchers. Here's hoping the traffic goes up this week.

RM: To be fair, we got decent traffic last episode.

AH: It isn't always how you debut. It’s if you can maintain.

RLB: That's what she aid

AH: <sigh> Hello there Roy.

[And the camera pans over to another section of bar. Behind the bar is the man of a thousand jobs and one nickname, Roy "Laser" Beam.]

RLB: Please... call me Laser

AH: No.

RM: Have any newcomers added their name to the hat?

RLB: Why yes, including some buxom beauties and handsome gents. Why if I was Talent Agent Roy Beam, I'd have quite the stable.

RM: Given your many jobs, I'm surprised you're not one already.

RLB: I take the certification exam next week.

AH: That’s great and all but I'd like to get the show introductions done before YouTube prompts us to "replay" or go to related videos about babies playing banjos.

RLB: I've seen that one. Delish.

[And the camera pans back to the card table where a frustrated Angela Harrison looks like she wants to rip out Beam's heart "Temple of Doom" style. Rory looks like that old Dalmatian that would stare at a phonograph. If you don't know that reference, I'm really dating myself.]

AH: <sigh> For those who don't know, yet somehow tried this channel, you're watching Episode II of the Bastard Underground. I'm Angela Harrison.

RM: I'm Rory McAllister.

RLB: And I'm color commentator Roy Beam...

[Pause]

RLB: My friends call me Laser.

AH: This week our friends at Humdingers Sports Bar in Atlanta, Georgia have agreed to host us.

[Without any care for what’s going on, a blonde haired waitress in a tight "Humdingers" T-shirt and black and green plaid miniskirt walks by with a tray of drinks. Angela rolls her eyes. Rory, like the young pup he is, can't help but stare. Hormones. Am I right ladies?]

RM: I love it here.

RLB: You would have loved Styx County General then.

RM: The hospital?

RLB: The "First Floor Bar" had the best Bloody Mary's in the Styx Hospital System.

RM: A bar in the hospital?

RLB: Medicinal of course. Styx was a dry town. Had to bust my fair share of speakeasies in my day. I was "Untouchable" Roy Beam.

RM: Yeah, your friends called you Laser.

RLB: My enemies called me buzzkill.

AH: How about you draw a name there Roy?

RLB: Forward thinking, I like it.

[Roy pulls "The Hat" from behind the bar and sets it upon the drink peddler's launching pad. He reaches in and pulls from it a scrap of paper.]

RLB: The first contestant for tonight is... DEEVON "THE BAGMAN" BAGWELL!!!

[Upon this announcement, a youthful man with slicked back, platinum blonde hair appears in front of the camera. He can't be older than twenty but he dresses like an 80's style yuppie. Neon T-shirt, suit jacket with the sleeves pushed up and if you had to guess, no socks.]

Deevon "The Bagman" Bagwell: Yeah! Yeah yeah yeah! Call me D-Bag!

RLB: I don't think that will be hard.

D-Bag: I'm totally ready to get this one. Gonna wrestle! Gonna win! Gonna score some chicks!

RLB: Tell me... "D-Bag"... do you have any wrestling experience?

D-Bag: You know it Laser!

RLB: Please, call me Mr. Beam.

D-Bag: My motto man, is always been selling! Yeah!

RLB: Wonderful. Go get in the ring while I draw another name.

[A hand reaches out and taps Roy "Laser" Beam on the shoulder. Roy brushes it off.]

RLB: And for D-Bag's opponent, we will consult The Hat.

[The hand raps him again, with a sudden impatience.]

RLB: Not now Seth... And The Hat says...

[Roy draws a name from The Hat. As he unfolds it it and is about to read it, the large hand reaches out and snags the paper from Beam.]

RLB: Now what the Hell??

[Roy turns around to stare into the chest of a large man... He wears jeans and a maroon hoodie, concealing his face.]

RLB: Who are you?

Man: D'is is Underground, oui?

RLB: Yes it's Undergound, who are you?

Man: D'is fight... It's open to anyone?

RLB: NO! You have to be selected from this hat. It's a very official and legit process.

[The man reaches out and knocks the hat out of Beam's hand, sending it to the ground and the names spilling out of it.]

RLB: What did you do?? Who are you??

Man: D'is fight? It be mine...

[The large man pushes past Beam as he bends down to collect his hat. The hooded stranger climbs up onto the apron and leaps over the top rope. Standing tall at about 6'4, he rips off the hoodie and tosses it to the ground. His back is heavily tattooed and he sports shoulder length curly black hair as well as a thick few week's growth of a
beard. Clad in his jeans, the muscled competitor stands in the corner, staring down Bagwell. Roy stumbles into the ring, microphone in hand. He glances over to the muscular man, then over to Deevon.

RLB: You wanna do this?

D-Bag: Hell yeah.

RLB: All right. No DQ's, no countouts. Shake hands to acknowledge your intent to comply in a gentleman's agreement that this will be a straight up one on one contest. Shake hands and the match starts.

[Roy steps aside as D-Bag and the mystery man meet in the center of the ring. A handshake ensues and this match is on!]

===============================
DEEVON "THE BAGMAN" BAGWELL
versus ???
===============================

Without even taking off his jacket, Deevon "The Bagman" Bagwell charged straight at his mystery challenger. But the man with the unknown name barreled him over with a clothesline, knocking the youngster down on the mat. The big man dropped multiple boots on the platinum haired combatant. Bagwell tried to fight the bigger man off but it was only when the bearded one moved away that Bagwell had a chance to gather himself. The mystery man waited and charged, bringing a running kneelift into Bagwell's face as he was trying to rise. Bagwell certainly wasn't doing very well and the crowd seemed to enjoy watching "D-Bag" get pounded. Bagwell tried but the mystery man was simply too powerful. And just when "The Bagman" looked like he had enough, the bearded man beat him more. Finally, and mercifully... well not so mercifully depending on how you look at it... the big man lifted Bagwell high into the air for the setup of a Last Ride, only to then turn it into a sit-down powerbomb. Bagwell didn't so much as twitch as Roy Beam used his referee powers to count the one, two, three.

===============================

[The man raises his hands in a victorious celebration as he gets back to his feet.]

RLB: The winner of this contest by pin fall....

[Roy pauses as the man exits the ring and approaches.]

RLB: Your winner...

[The man grabs his hoodie off of the ground.]

RLB: Hey kid! Who are you?

[The man grabs the microphone and stares straight into the camcorder.]

???: Ma name is Colby Greene... And d'is right 'ere...

[He points to the Underground ring.]

CG: D'is is now mine.

[Greene flashes a satisfied smirk to the camera as he returns the microphone to Roy.]

AH: Any clue Mister Wikipedia.

RM: Kinda? Maybe? I don't know.

AH: Well, you're all kinds of helpful.

RLB: I know who he is.

AH: Really?

RLB: He's Colby Greene.

AH: ...

RLB: That's his name. His name again is Colby Greene.

AH: Wow, you're useful. Since he’s claiming the ring as is, I’m going to imagine we’ll be seeing plenty of him. And Deevon Bagwell... I wouldn’t be surprised if they find his body in the dumpster once the bar closes down.

RLB: Where even the Atlanta homeless won’t take pity.

AH: What say we take a look around Humdingers?

RM: Why?

AH: We need a transition.

RLB: I could always regale you with hunting stories.

AH: No.

RLB: But they involve Ted Nugent and I hunting the most danger game.

RM: Humans?

RLB: Ed Asner.

RM: Ed Asner?

RLB: And what a feral beast he is!

AH: Scratch that. Roy, let’s just get back to "The Hat." Anything other than a match isn't going to be productive.

RLB: "The Hat", a mighty receptacle of names written on scrap paper. May I add randomly drawing names is more fair than BCS?

RM: You follow college football?

RLB: I was referring to the MBC Commissioner. But I admit, I am a fan of the Boise State Broncos.

RM: Their high powered offense? Their rise to power?

RLB: The blue field that makes you feel like swimming.

AH: Roy, for the love of God... draw a name

RLB: My, so forceful.

[Roy reaches into The Hat and draws a name.]

RLB: Entering first is... JOHNNY TWO-GUNS!!!

AH: Are people not taking this seriously?

RM: Maybe not?

[In walks a man dressed much like his name... but without the guns. God help us if any of the wrestlers carried a gun. You think dudes beating each other up over minor disputes gets bad? Add guns. Rinse. Bleed. Repeat. Anyways, the man called Johnny Two-Guns has that classic cowboy wrestler look. Cowboy hat, leather vest, boots and simple tights. Some may pine for a lasso or a branding iron, but not here. He is who he is.]

JT-G: Yep.

RLB: Riiiight. So, Mister Two-Guns. You're here to wrestle?

JT-G: I reckon'.

RLB: And you're prepared for what the Bastard Underground has to offer?

JT-G: Yep.

RLB: Even though you do not yet know who your opponent is, are you confident that you will win.

JT-G: I reckon'.

RLB: A man of few words. I like it.

JT-G: Yep.

RLB: While we have you, what’s your stance on North Korean aggression towards South Korea?

JT-G: Sucks.

RLB: That's great. Your oration skills guarantee you'll have a career after wrestling.

JT-G. Yep.

RLB: You deflate me, Two-Guns. Go get in the ring and maybe your opponent will be worth talking to.

[Oblivious to the insult, or perhaps, uncaring, Johnny Two-Guns shrugs and walks to the ring. Roy "Laser" Beam shoots the cowboy a dirty look before reaching into "The Hat" to pull a second name.]

RLB: And Johnny Two-Gun's opponent for this evening is.... oh good... somebody else who refuses to talk to me....

BRANDON ELYSON!!!

[The crowd, filled with the refugees of Styx, cheer wildly as the Mad Monk of Wyoming charges through the crowd and towards the ring. Jessica "Fatality" Marshall and Kathryn Elyson accompany him, though they do not match the same frantic pace that he travels. Brandon sheds his jacket and slides into the ring where Johnny Two-Guns awaits.]

AH: Looking at him, I'd say Elyson hates cowboys.

RM: I think he just hates everybody.

AH: Not even waiting for Roy to call for the start of the match! They're going now!

===============================
JOHNNY TWO-GUNS
versus BRANDON ELYSON
===============================

Beam rung his trusty hip hung ring bell while still at the bar and rushed to the ring where Johnny Two-Guns and Brandon Elyson started their brawl. Both men came on aggressive. While this wasn't surprising for Elyson, it did seem to shock those who thought Johnny Two-Guns was just a one word answer type of guy. Two-Guns had surprising power that overwhelmed the smaller Elyson. But what Elyson may have lacked in size and strength during this contest, he more than made up for with pure piss and vinegar. Elyson lashed out wildly and repeatedly, like a roid-raging football player high on angel dust. Yes, he was that wild. Spit flew from Elyson's lip as he screamed with anger. Johnny merely sneered as he gave just about as much as he took.

Fatality and Kathryn Elyson were quite the opposite of their brother. They were calm, collected and joyful as he rampaged in the ring. The Styx fans blew kisses and adoration for both women. With this too, they were calm and collected. As the match wore on, Brandon called to Kathryn and motioned to her to give something to him. She acknowledged and handed him her walking cane. Beam saw this but there was nothing to be done as there were no disqualifications. Johnny Two-Guns saw what Elyson had taken but he mistakenly believed it would be nothing. It would in fact be his end. Mercilessly, violently and brutally, Elyson attacked Two-Guns until he bled. And then he attacked more until Two-Guns could not move. Elyson, his rage calmed with the outburst of violence, poked Johhny with a stick. When he could put up no more resistance, Elyson placed a boot upon his chest and Beam counted to three.

===============================

RLB: The winner of this match by pinfall... BRANDON ELYSON!!!

[Elyson exits the ring and begins to clean the sweat and blood from his sister's cane. She thanks him for the gesture and trio from the House of Elyson disappear as quickly as they appeared.]

AH: When did Brandon Elyson...

RM: Get talent?

AH: I don't recall him ever showing that sort of capability before.

RM: Maybe being under Vengeance's wing suppressed that.

AH: God help us if or when Vengeance returns.

RLB: <Shivers>

AH: Something wrong Roy?

RLB: Just someone walking over my grave.

AH: That’s it for tonight's episode of the Underground. We'll be seeing you sometime soon...

[And the feed cuts off with the same static as we had at the beginning of the show.

YouTube: Replay?]

Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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Overly_Critical_Jue
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
"The Baby Bull" Colby Greene! Former RCW River City champion!

ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
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Kickair
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Buttons aren't toys
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Overly_Critical_Jue,Dec 9 2010
09:34 PM
"The Baby Bull" Colby Greene! Former RCW River City champion!

ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!
ARGH-SEE-DUB!

We just need to get Langseth in there somehow, and we could have a Club Elite reunion. I smell money.

... And thanks for remembering. :-)
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