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Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y.; A Corey Funk RP for N.E.W.
Topic Started: Jan 13 2011, 12:40 PM (296 Views)
El Dandy
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Is the She of the fight!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[We open to a shot of a ritzy neighborhood. Standing in front of said neighborhood and being all prepped out, is none other than "Suicide Blonde" Corey Funk. We see him looking at the neighorbhood as a modified version of the Geto Boys' "Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangsta" starts to play.]

# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #

[Funk turns to the camera and smirks as we cut to a montage of shots.]

# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #
# A little W.U.S.S.Y. ass cracka plays his cards right #
# A real W.U.S.S.Y. ass cracka never runs his fuckin' mouth #
# 'Cause real W.U.S.S.Y. ass crackas don't start fights #

[We see Corey Funk seated behind his desk on the Inside N.E.W. set as he talks some smack to "Cobra" Marco Carlson. Then another shot of Corey Funk talking smack to Victor V. Hill, who actually stands up from the couch.]

# And crackas always got a high cap #
# Showin' all his boys how he shot 'im #
# A real W.U.S.S.Y ass cracka don't flex nuts #
# 'Cause real W.U.S.S.Y. ass crackas know they got 'em #

[Cut to Corey Funk backstage talking to the stage hand and basically bragging about what he's done to his opponents. Switch over to Funk in his debut as he's doing a Man on the Street interview and seems miffed by the Ethan Love fan.]

# And everything is cool in the mind of a W.U.S.S.Y. #
# 'Cause W.U.S.S.Y. ass crackas think deep #
# Up three sixty-five #
# And go twenty-four, seven #
# 'Cause real W.U.S.S.Y ass crackas don't sleep #

[Shot of Corey Funk plotting a dastardly deed in the W.U.S.S.Y. locker room area.]

# And all I gotta say to you #
# Wannabe, gonnabe, cock-suckin', coochi-eatin', pussies #
# When the fire dies down #
# What the fuck you gonna do #
# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #

[We see Corey Funk dodge out of a lock up with Ethan Love. Shot of Funk spearing Morgan DeSade as DeSade has Carlson up for a suplex. Corey Funk with an ankle lock submission locked on "Money Driven" Mike Sebastian.]

# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #
# Feedin' the poor #
# And helpin' out with their bills #
# Although I was born in Tenneessee #
# Now I'm in Florida makin' deals #

[We see a shot NEW genius and number one promoter, "Prime Time" Jason
Russell, telling Rising Star Champion, Brett Hunter, that Hunter will soon be making as much as Corey Funk. We see Brett Hunter's response as he slaps a clawhold onto Jason Russell's head, easily palming it like he was palming a basektball.]

# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #
# I mean one that you don't really know #
# Ridin' around town in a drop-top Benz #
# Hittin' switches in my black six-fo' #

[We see Corey Funk driving down a busy street in on a strip-style street. He's basically crusing in quite a nice convertible car. His hair's blowing thanks to the wind, and Funk waves as he passes by people. He's got on a pair of mirrorshades to hide his eyes. It makes him much more mysterious like people don't know him.]

# Now W.U.S.S.Y. ass crackas come in all shapes and colors #
# Some got killed in the past #
# But this W.U.S.S.Y. was a smart one #
# Started livin' for the lord and I last #

[We see Corey Funk in church. He's kneeling at the altar like he's
praying. His hands are clasped together with his elbows rested on the
altar. His head is bowed so his forehead is touching his hands. Funk
opens his eyes and raises his head to look at the heavens. He does the
pasternater and rises to his feet.]

# Now all I gotta say to you #
# Wannabe, gonnabe, coochie-eatin', cock-suckin', pussies #
# When the shit jumps off #
# What the fuck you gonna do #
# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #

[We see Corey Funk take a karate stance against Marco Carlson. We see
Corey Funk rear back and fire a chop across Ethan Love's chest. He rears back a second time and fires a second chop to Ethan Love's chest. We see Corey Funk and Maxwell Creed hit Victor V. Hill with a spinebuster/clothesline combination.]

# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #
# A real W.U.S.S.Y. ass cracka knows the play #
# But real W.U.S.S.Y ass cracka gets the flyest of the bitches #

[Sure enough, we see Corey Funk standing on a beach next to the Hawiian
Tropic girls. Funk's in a pair of beach shorts and looks really happy.]

# Asked the W.U.S.S.Y. an' he'll say #
# Now bitches look at W.U.S.S.Y ass crackas like a stop sign #
# And play the role of little Ms. Sweet #

[A ring rat talks to Corey Funk, trying to get him into bed. Funk, being the W.U.S.S.Y gentlemen he is, shakes his head and declines polistely. You can just imagine him saying, "I'm not that type of man."]

# Now catch the bitch all alone #
# Get the digit, take her out #
# And end up hittin' 'er ass with the meat #

[We see Corey Funk opening a hotel door. He looks left. He looks right. He comes out, his button down shirt unbuttoned. He quickly runs down the side of the hotel. We see the ring rat from earlier come to the door, bedsheet wrapped around her.]

# 'Cause W.U.S.S.Y. ass crackas know the game, playas #
# And everything's quiet in the clique #
# A W.U.S.S.Y. ass cracka pulls the trigger #
# And his parnters and the posse ain't tellin' off shit #

[We see Corey Funk pop Victor V. Hill in the nose with a closed fist while Maxwell Creed looks on. Creed doesn't say a word, but you can tell he's approving of it.]

# Real W.U.S.S.Y ass crackas don't talk much #
# All ya hear is the black from the gun blast #

[We see Corey Funk lay into Brett Hunter with his nightclub.]

# And real W.U.S.S.Y ass crackas can't run for shit #
# 'Cause real W.U.S.S.Y ass crackas can't run fast #

[Corey Funk showing what Nike's were meant to do.]

# Now when you in the free world talkin' shit through the shit #
# The Pen'll let a motherfucker shank you #
# But crackas like myself kick back and play the game #
# 'Cause damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #

[We see Corey Funk kick Victor V. Hill in the groin. Corey Funk plasters Brett Hunter with a chair. Corey Funk, with his hands in his armpits, and flapping his arms in the "chicken" motion towards Victor V. Hill who's standing on the ring apron. Corey Funk with a diving shoulderblock to Brett Hunter's knee.]

# And now, a word from the President #

[We see George Dub at some press conference. He looks to his right and
throws out a salute. We cut to a shot of Corey Funk and Maxwell Creed
saluting back.]

# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #
# Gettin' voted into the White House #
# Everything lookin' good to the people of the world #
# But the mafia family is my boss #

[We see a shot of Corey Funk dropping Victor V. Hill with a cradle piledriver. We see another shot of Corey Funk hiptoss Ethan Love over and then slap on an armbar.]

# So every now and then #
# I'll do a favor here and there #
# Like let a big drug shipment through #
# And send them to the poor community #
# So we can bust you know who #

[Corey Funk and Maxwell Creed are backstage talking. We see Creed hand
Funk the nightstick.]

# The voters of the world keep supporting me #
# And I promise to take you very far #
# Other leaders better not upset me #
# Or I'll send a million troops to die at war #
# To all you pulic hens that helped me win #
# I'd sincerely like to thank you #

[Shot of Corey Funk and Maxwell Creed working over Brett Hunter with those nightsticks.]

# 'Cause now I've got the world swinging from my nuts #

[Cut back to the opening shot. We see Funk, arms crossed over his chest, smirking at the camera. As the final lyric is heard, we see Corey mouth it.]

# Damn it feels good to be a W.U.S.S.Y. #

[Couple more bars of instrumental from the song as we see Corey Funk turn around and walk into the neightborhood. The camera pulls back as we slowly fade to black. Cut back to ringside.]
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