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[MBC] The Bastard Underground Episode III; December 1st, 2010
Topic Started: Apr 4 2011, 03:33 PM (183 Views)
MBCKyle
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The Soda Dog Refreshment Squad
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[We fade in to an undisclosed location, filmed on what looks like a
handycam of some sort. Standing in the foreground is Kiora Donavon,
proudly wearing her Hand of Doom t-shirt and glaring into the camera.
Flanking her are Johanna Suprema on the right and the self proclaimed
leader of the Kiora Donavon Fan Club and proud citizen of Styx Wyomig,
Becky. Behind them people wearing the robes of the Froinlaven Fire
Druids stand in ranks at attention. They'd almost look military were
it not for the robes and the fact that several of them are in rather
poor shape.]

Kiora: When Lee started this merger, he promised those within MBC a
new realm of opportunities, new chances to succeed. What we received
was little more then stagnation, the chance to play second fiddle to
the array of mediocrity and stagnation that is the UWF.

It made us weak, complacent.

Some people accepted this, those of us who formed the Bastard
Underground did not. Our goals our simple, to restore proper bastardry
to MBC and make it the strong federation it once was. My goals are to
be its champion.

[The assembled druids let out a raucous cheer as Kiora brandishes the
MBC Thighmaster, holding it proudly above her hair. To her right
Johanna looks on approvingly while on her left, Becky looks as if
she's about to swoon.]

Kiora: The Thighmaster has always been one of the greatest and most
coveted symbols of bastardry and as its keeper, that makes me the only
champion here in Bastard Underground. If anybody doesn't like it by
all means, try to do something about it. It doesn't matter if you're a
man or a woman, I'll happily accept the challenge of anybody who wants
to take my championship from me.

[Kiora smiles wickedly.]

Kiora: Tommy Jackson, Amazing Grace, I know you two are allegedly
chomping at the bit to get a piece of me after recent events in Kyle's
shadow of the true MBC. Well the two of you are welcome to come
challenge me here in the Bastard Underground, if either of you can
work up the guts to do so. Of course all the true bastards know that
neither of you is brave enough to come to the Underground, cowards
that you are you'd prefer to stay in the land of the mediocre where
you're safe.

As for Felicity Malone, the Hand of Doom made you and the Hand of Doom
can tear you apart whenever they want to. Your treachery won't go
unpunished.

[With that, Kiora steps back while a satisfied smile creeps across her
face. The camera pans away from Donavon and her entourage to show that
this episode of the Bastard Underground is going down in a warehouse.
It’s not abandoned like you'd expect. There's actually items being
stored here. What's being stored? Does it matter?

What matters is the camera, our single, solitary camera, pans to where
the unofficial Underground logo has been hung up. It's a tarp with the
following spray painted sloppily and boldly...]


THE

BASTARD

UNDERGROUND

EPISODE III

[And thus, without the aid of any music as always, the lone camera
pans to see our "arena" setup. In the middle of a wide open space is
the Bastard Underground ring, a Frankenstein like mishmash of stolen
pieces from the UWF, MBC, Bastard Stampede and possibly others. There
are simple security barriers setup around it. And nearby is a card
table where certain individuals sit.]

RM: Why are all the women around here so scary?

RLB: The vagina is to be feared and respected, like the mighty grizzly bear.

AH: So classy.

RLB: Have you ever tamed the mighty grizzly?

AH: The Bastard Underground is having a hard enough time gaining
credibility without you talking about... lady parts and polar bears.

RLB: Grizzly.

AH: Whatever. The point is, we don't need to open a show like this.

RLB: Simply sharing my wisdom here.

RM: "Wisdom giver" Roy Beam?

RLB: Don't be silly.

RM: Oh.

RLB: Laserdorf the Wise.

AH: Welcome to this, the third episode of the Bastard Underground,
coming to you from a warehouse in Jacksonville, Florida.

RM: What's that thumping I'm hearing?

AH: I think they're having a rave next door.

RM: Those still exist?

RLB: Outlawed in Styx.

RM: Why's that?

RLB: Raves lead to orgies. Orgies lead to truancy. And if there is one
thing the citizens of Styx can't stand, it's truancy.

AH: Only one thing. I always found the Styxians to be a rather
intolerant people.

RLB: We're realists.

AH: In your reality.

RLB: Sure.

AH: Anywhere else, you're F'n insane.

RLB: Sure.

AH: So as always, I've been sidetracked by insanity. That makes me
Angela Harrison

[Sitting at the card table is a young female with long dark hair. You
can definitely see the resemblance to a certain MBC commentator. This
is certainly the gorgeous Angela Harrison.]

AH: Next to me is Rory McAllister

RM: Howdy.

[Next to Angela is Rory, a scrawny redheaded youth who looks like he
could stand to gain a few pounds and possibly a pair of testicles.]

AH: And acting as commentator, master of ceremonies, interviewer,
referee and port-a-potty cleaner, Roy Beam.

RLB: Laser's reach is wide. But his accuracy is precise.

[The camera pans over to a pathway that connects the immediate ringside
area and a section of warehouse where no fan may go. Along this aisle
way is the man himself: Roy "Laser" Beam.]

AH: Wonderful

RM: Any new entrants for tonight?

RLB: No, it's the same group we've had before. But anybody new may be
picking fights over at the rave.

AH: It'd be worth going to then. So how about we draw a name Roy?

RLB: You betcha.

[Beam holds the tattered and worn sorting hat high for all to see.]

RLB: Behold! I will now draw tonight’s name...

RM: If that thing says Gryffindor, that is some weak ass shit.

AH: Quiet you.

[Laser digs through the hat and pulls out a name.]

RLB: And tonight’s first competitor...

[He unfurls the paper and smirks.]

RLB: Well I’ll be... Making a repeat appearance to Underground... is Colby
Greene present?

[The handicam quickly spins around the area, scanning for the
Louisiana native. Standing tall at 6’5, the man known as "The Bayou
Badboy" isn’t hard to miss as he approaches the makeshift ring and
climbs on inside.]

AH: There he is, competing in jeans and all, The Baby Bull, Colby Greene.

RM: Is this even legal? He’s not even an MBC competitor. He just
showed up last time and destroyed the D-Bagg, Deevon Bagwell.

AH: This whole show is illegal! If you think he shouldn’t be here, you
go tell him.

[Greene rips his shirt off and tosses it aside. Roy attempts to get a word.]

RLB: Mr. Greene, welcome back to Underground.

[Colby looks straight to the handicam.]

CG: Last time I was ‘ere, I told you d’is is now my show, and I showed
it. Tonight gonna be no different. MBC, UWF, I don’t give a sheet...
D’is is where Colby Greene gonna hang his hat so to speak. I don’t
care if de name come from a hat, or anyone d’at wants to step up and
take me on. It’s all gonna have de same result.

[Greene glares over to Roy.]

CG: You draw de name yet?

RLB: I’m just about to.

CG: Make it fast mon amis. I don’t like waiting.

[Greene steps back to a corner and grabs at his neck, giving a good
last minute stretch.]

RLB: All right. And now the opponent...

JM: Don't even bother!

[From the crowd comes another massively large man. He's equally shirtless and equally mean. Some would recognize him as Bastard Stampede competitor "King Texas" James Masterson. Upon entering the ring, Masterson steps right up to Laser and smacks the hat right out of his hand.]

JM: I've been here two shows waiting for my name to be drawn out of that stupid hat. I'm being ignored here just like I am in Stampede. I thought the Underground was supposed to be something different, something worthy of me and my third generation heritage. But it’s becoming just another joke. It's time to make things right. I demand a match and if it just so happens to be against this...

[Masterson casually points to Greene.]

JM: ...backwater hick from a backwater state, so be it.

[Greene steps right up to Masterson and the two behemoths stare eye to eye. Greene calmly speaks in his broken French accent.]

CG: You open your mouth too much, cause you just said some real serious sheet there mon amis... Now you got a problem in front of you, because ain’t no way you’re gonna be able to back those words up. You gonna regret ever stepping up to me, I guarantee...

[With that The Bayou Badboy strikes with a quick and vicious headbutt to the bridge of Masterson’s nose. Roy flees to a turnbuckle to get out of the way as the bell rings on his hip...]

AH: Eh, let’s get the match started right away.


===============================
"KING TEXAS" JAMES MASTERSON
versus "THE BABY BULL" COLBY GREENE
===============================

[It would take more than a headbutt to truly knock the so called King of Texas down. Masterson responds by quickly throwing himself into the ropes to gain momentum for the mother of all lariats. Greene slams hard to the mat but quickly jumps to his feet in order to lockup with his fellow monster. Each digs deep, boots grinding into the canvas, trying to gain the advantage in leverage. Neither budges until finally Greene gives way to let Masterson's weight carry him forward. Green follows that up with a boot to the back of the knee and then another to the side of the head. Masterson shakes it off, filled with adrenaline and anger. He turns that into a low blow that doubles Greene over. Masterson runs for the ropes again, and upon returning, Greene ducks another lariat. However, in the process, this spills both men to the outside of the ring and to the floor.]

AH: Action going outside early.

RM: I hope those fans stay clear.

RLB: Nonsense! Fan participation should be encouraged!

[Neither man lingers, both quickly to their feet and trading blows. They throw each other into the security barrier over and over. Eventually the barrier topples over under their combined weight and the crowd scatters. Excited cheers echo through the Jacksonville warehouse as fists and spit flies in multiple directions. It is a sea of chaos as Masterson and Greene tear into one another. But this is only the beginning...]

AH: It's madness out there and...

BOOM~!

RM: What the Hell was that?

Authoritative Voice: THIS IS A RAID!

AH: You've got to be kidding me.

[Unfortunately, there is no joke. The warehouse door has been blown wide open and in come a massive amount of police officers. The fans scatter. Laser nods approvingly. Angela shakes her head. Rory nearly drops dead. Masterson and Greene? Still brawling, unaware of what is going around them. And as officer after officer pours into the warehouse our very own camera man makes a run for it...

...only to be stopped by a rather large police officer.]

Officer: I TOLD YOU TO FREEZE!

[And out comes the tazer...]

Cameraman: YEEAAAAARRRGGGH!!!

[And the feed cuts off with the same static as we had at the beginning of the show.

YouTube: Replay?]
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