| Welcome to JTF Squaretable. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Thursday Night Throwdown 8/4/11; Now with 100% less racial slurs! | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 22 2011, 03:47 PM (332 Views) | |
| Overly_Critical_Jue | Sep 22 2011, 03:47 PM Post #1 |
![]()
Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
* TNT is back! I'm your host, Scottie Saratoga * Some quick thoughts on Heaven and Hell: ~ Congrats to Amazing Grace for winning the Empress Cup. Really. ~ With Juan Vasquez winning, the Trey DaMann era is over. Vasquez has been one of the best wrestlers in the UWF for a while, so it's not surprising to see him finally win the belt. He's a ruthless SOB, as both Alex Epstein and Luke Kinsey can attest, but he'll be a fighting champion, which the UWF needs after DaMann ~ The UWF/MBC merger has ended. Call it a grand experiment that didn't work out. Too many wrestlers, too confusing to follow. ~ And now the MBC fed is on indefinite hiatus. MBC is not to everyone's taste- you definitely need an off the wall sense of humor to appreciate them. But they were always original and different. ~ Finally, Alex Martinez, Serge Annis, and Derek Martin have formed a new trio and took out Kyle Lee at the end of Heaven and Hell. You can't argue with the resume of all three men. Martinez and Annis are former world champions, and Martin has held the #2 title. These three are going to cause problems for the rest of the UWF * Between the MBC splitting from the league and some "Woman in Black" attacking the dregs of the UWF women's division, the deadweight of the UWF women's division has been cut dramatically. About damn time- though really, watching Gaia Basher and Sierra Browne getting left in the ring is good popcorn entertainment. In fact, let's watch it again... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -O-C------------------------------------------------- "The Show" Sierra Browne V/S Gaia "Bullhead" Brasher -O-C------------------------------------------------- Two of the most technically skilled women on the UWF roster clashed here, as Browne immediately tried to take Brasher's legs away from her and focused the attack with repeated submission attempts. Gaia came back with some hefty high impact moves to slow the former Women's World Champion down, including a TKO for a near pin. Gaia went for her trademark machine gun knees but Sierra blocked and neatly countered into the Sierra Lock after taking Brasher down. The match ended abruptly though with the sudden appearance of a woman dressed head to toe in black, including a faceless mask. She slid into the ring and dropped a pair of knees into Sierra's face, then did the same to Gaia. A swift DDT on each left the two women down and out, forcing the referee to call the match. WINNER: No Contest due to interference ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * Good times. Let's get to this week's show: * Dave and Moe greet us at the General Motors Centre in Oshawa, Ontario. We have a few debuts tonight, along with a six-person tag match. * We see highlights of Amai Hitan's attack on Tommy Stephens, then cut to Jamie Kidd in the ring as "Angel" by Massive Attack plays and the white-masked Japanese wrestler makes his way to the ring: -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- "The Kyoto Nightmare" Amai Hitan vs. "The Sensation Rocking the Nation" Jamie Kidd -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- Hitan enters the ring and charges at Kidd, who sidesteps Hitan and hits a step-up Enzuigiri on the larger "Kyoto Nightmare". Jamie doesn't have the technical skills of Alex Kidd or the ring savvy of Daniel Kidd, but in terms of speed and high-flying moves he may be the best of the bunch. A somersault legdrop by Kidd leads to a two count, but Kidd makes the mistake of going for an Asai Moonsault as Hitan is getting up, and Hitan catches him and plants Kidd to the mat with a piledriver. From here, Hitan goes to work on dismantling Kidd, flipping him over with a T-Bone suplex and sending him to the mat with a Roaring Elbow. Kidd looks out on his feet, but Hitan picks up Kidd, lifts him up for what looks like a powerbomb, but overrotates and grabs Kidd's skull, leaping up to drive his knees into Kidd's head. That's Hitan's "SuperDeath!", and it leads to an easy three count for "The Kyoto Nightmare". WINNER: "The Kyoto Nightmare" Amai Hitan, in 3:11, with SuperDeath! * Recaps of last week's Saturday Night Rampage, followed by commercials. Those 'Hillshire Farm' commercials are so bad that it repulses me from the product. * Coming back from commercials, we see a promo by Pablo O'Connor and his new tag team partner: -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- [Scene opens to a beautiful blue sky. Not a cloud to be seen, just rich luscious blue as far as the eye can see. We begin to pan down from the mesmerizing blue to see beautiful green. Beautiful green dunes with lovely trees and some men in expensive clothing with clubs in their hands. Yes.. It's a golf course, a very well kept one that is stunning to the eyes. Finally we pan to two men on the course. Both are caucasian, one of them has brown hair that is stuffed into an expensive looking cherry colored golf cap on his head and he wears a cherry colored polo shirt with black slacks and black golf shoes. The other man is slightly taller and more rotund than the other. He has a black Nike golf hat on his head with strands of red hair portruding beneath. He's wearing a white Nike dri-fit golf shirt, khaki slacks, and black Nike golf shoes. Both of these men look familiar, very familiar, because it's "Up All Night" Pablo O'Connor and "Hustlin' Trimmer" Josh Ritter, the former WWA World Tag Team Champions known as The Untouchables.] POC: ... JR: ... [Pablo is preparing to take his shot, after moments of eyeing it up he lifts back his club and swings..] *SMASH* [The golf ball flies quite a distance and lands fairly close to the hole. A confident smirk creeps upon Pablo's face while Josh looks impressed.] JR: Yikes! Looks like someone has been working on their swing, you aren't near the hack you used to be. Nice job. POC: Thanks, amigo. I know it's been a few years since we last played. The more money I have made in the past few years the more golf I have been able to play. [Ritter looks around and motions with his head.] JR: Where's that guy who used to come out here with us and carry the clubs? You know I'm too cheap to pay for my own caddy, I appreciated the free help. [O'Connor sighs sadly.] POC: That was our butler, who quit after a.. misunderstanding with Stephanie a few months ago at a Girl Fight event. [Pablo shakes his head, trying to make the bad memory go away and then turns to his long time friend.] POC: Man, thanks so much for helping me out with this mess with Brett Young and his cripple of a cousin. I know it's been a long time since you've been in the ring but I know you are up for it. [Ritter lines up his ball from the left side, bringing the club back and swinging through.] *THWACK* [The ball lands 8-10 feet from the right side of the hole, a smile comes over Josh's face before he turns back to Pablo, speaking.] JR: Still got it! No problemo on helping you out man. That's what friends are for. We've known each other what, 12 or 13 years? I've seen your ups and downs and all your successes. This guy Young is one of those guys who wants to change others because he can't change himself. POC: Brett, my "blood brother", Heh.. He just looks for crutches. Enablers even. JR: Once a junkie always a junkie, he's got that little voice in the back of his head telling him "Come on Brett, just one more fix. That's all you need." He's fighting those demons every day so he teams up with you and expects you to totally change who you are. What's wrong with doing whatever it takes to gain that victory, garner that win? I'll tell you what's wrong with it...nothing. [Ritter walks over to their golf cart, placing his club in the bag and scooting behind the wheel. O'Connor sits beside as Ritter continues.] JR: As far as the ring rust goes, I don't see us having too much trouble with a junkie and a cripple. *Ritter laughs* No matter how long the lay off I think I can handle myself in there. Besides, you've got an injury to deal with *Ritter motions his hand to O'Connor's "injured" knee* I'm sure having to lug that big knee brace along puts you at a disadvantage, not any kind of competitive advantage. POC: Yeah.. Heh.. Heh... I will manage somehow, don't worry about me, amigo! [Ritter parks the golf cart on the path outside the green, swinging out and going to his bag to grab his putter. O'Connor grabs his putter as well as the two walk up the perfectly manicured grass.] JR: I'm happy for you Pablo. You've got stuff like this *Ritter waves his hand across the landscape*, you've got the money, a beautiful wife, and a succesful career. I always knew you had it in you, I'm glad it's come to fruition. Of course I've followed your career along it's path after taking my time out, maybe this can be my opportunity back into the ring. If not, at least I can get one last bit of work in there and help you end the dreams of these two. POC: They're all about dreams, my friend. They call themselves the American Dreams, Brett calls himself "The Fantasy", etcetera, yadda yadda.. [Pablo lines up his shot and after a few moments he putts... And the ball goes in the hole while his smirk grows bigger.] POC: The problem for them is that dreams are not tangible. There is a big difference between being "Dreams" and being... [O'Connor stands aside while Ritter lines up his shot and then he putts.. And into the hole goes his ball as well. Ritter nods his head with a big smile and looks over at his tag team partner.] JR: Untouchable! *SMACK* [The two men do a high five, celebrating their golfing skills when..] *BRRRNG* [Pablo makes a face while Josh shakes his head.] JR: Dude.. Why do you always have to bring a noisemaker with you? POC: Sorry, man, I gotta' take it. [Pablo whips out his cellphone and answers.] POC: Hola, mi amor! ... We're almost done... Hmmm... Really? ... The little Mexican has sold how many of those masks this last month?! ... H- hold on a moment.. [O'Connor looks over at Ritter.] POC: I've got to deal with some business, you go ahead to the next hole. I'll catch up. JR: You are so whipped, man! [Pablo nods his head.] POC: I know, I know.. JR: See you at the next hole. Hope you grow a pair by then. [Ritter puts his putter up and climbs into the golf cart and drives offscreen. Pablo puts the phone back to his ear.] POC: Wow.. That little dude is selling those things like hotcakes. ... I don't know where that phrase comes from ... Es verdad, you don't see people lining up for pancakes but.. Those stupid brats sure are lining up for those masks and their parents are opening the wallets for 'em so that is only good for u- *CRASSSSH* *KRNGGGGGG* *ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH* [O'Connor is startled by the sounds and he looks off in the direction that the golf cart took off in and his jaw drops open.] POC: Oh [BLEEP]! Baby, I've got to go! Josh has just had an accident with the golf cart! [Lots of BLEEPS are heard offscreen as someone is cursing quite a bit.] POC: I'll call you back, bye! [O'Connor puts up the cell phone and takes off running offscreen.] POC: Hold on buddy, I'll get help! [BLEEEEP] [Scene fades.] -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- * Any word if Ritter was injured? * Next up, No Fat Chicks are in the ring against a new tag team of Stars & Bars. Stars & Bars are made up of three guys: Mallory Savage, who looks like a skinny version of Ron Jeremy. Jimmy "Bedlam" Bellevue, who looks like a barrel with a pumpkin stuck on top. And "The Bad Hand" Braxton Cleburne, easily the biggest of the trio and the only one who really looks in shape. They enter to Southern Culture on the Skids' "White Trash", and don't seem to be well-liked by the Canadian crowd. - TNT---------------------------------------------------------------------- Stars & Bars vs. No Fat Chicks -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- Strangely enough, it's Cleburne who stays outside while Savage and Bellevue team up for their debut. Savage and "Slick" Rick Reno start out, and both try to out-flirt and out-sleaze the women in the front row with taunts and leers. Reno "wins", in that more women seem to cheer for him over Mallory Savage, and Savage responds with an eye rake, a running knee lift, then blows a kiss out to the audience before slapping Reno across the face. Reno and Savage trade punches before Reno tags in "Romeo" Matt Richards, but Savage catches Richards as he enters the ring and tags to Jimmy Bellevue who greets Richards with a charging clothesline. Bellevue's attacks can best be described as "ugly but effective". The bodyslam he delivered to Richards was sloppy, but the Garvin stomp did some serious damage. He tagged back Savage, who delivers a hangman neckbreaker called the "Hangover" for the three count. WINNER: Stars & Bars, in 4:38, with the Hangover * After the match, Cleburne entered the ring and the trio stomped and kicked No Fat chicks until they left the ring, then gloated some more before finally leaving. Not a pretty team, but effective. * More recaps from last week, including the other attack by the Woman in Black. Let's watch this again, shall we? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Miyuki tried to finish Nikki off with a short-range lariat, but the overmatched Nikki managed to duck and brought Ozaki down with a backslide for a near pinfall of her own. Her advantage didn't last very long though, as soon Miyuki knocked her silly with a buzzsaw roundhouse kick to the face. This time Miyuki delivered the Wizard of Ozaki to blitz her opponent... ...before a woman dressed in black appeared and nailed Miyuki in the ribs with a folded up steel chair! The ref signalled for the bell as Ozaki was caught in a front facelock and dropped throat-first into the chair to leave the Queen gasping for breath!] AM: Who is that?!? DR: I don't know but we saw a similar attack on the countdown show! Whoever that is seems to be targetting the entire women's division. [Miyuki gasped for breath as she pulled herself back to her knees, around the same time Nikki the Cat got back up too. Seeing Miyuki but failing to see the woman wielding the chair, Nikki tried to take advantage. She was instead missed by a tiny margin as the woman wearing black struck Miyuki once again, this time leaving her flat on her back! Nikki screamed and ran from the ring, blowing past the entourage and heading for the showers. The masked woman threw the chair down and left the ring as Miyuki's entourage did what they could to try and revive her.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * Oh, I hope Miyuki wasn't hurt. Really * On the other hand, any chance someone has to hit Nikki with a chair, it should be taken on general principle. Speaking of the Empty-headed one... -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- [Cut to the inside of a hotel room. Possibly a Holiday Inn Express or, more likely, EconoLodge, but let's just say nobody will be mistaking this for the Four Seasons any time soon. Currently sitting on the bed, wearing a new "I'M A DAMANNIAC" baby doll t-shirt, jeans and a petulant pout and clutching a cell phone is one Nikki the Cat. Nikki appears to be already in mid-rant.] Nikki: ...and some sick psychobitch is trying to [BLEEP]ING KILL ME!!! I'm being [BLEEP]ING stalked! I need, I dunno, like the Mounties and the FBI guarding me 24/7 here! [And who or what is the poor recipient of Nikki's desperate whining? Juan Vasquez's answering machine? Tara Smith's answering machine? Sam Steeley's answering machine? Fortunately, through the magic of split screen technology, we soon find out...] OL: How the hell did you get this number an' why haven't you been fired yet? [...yep, long suffering big brother Orin "The Lynx" LeBlanc, out at the bar with the lovely "Fearless" Fiona Cassidy, has to deal with this interruption to his night. He sets his bottle of Alexander Keith's down, covers up the phone and just mouths "Nikki" to Fiona, who immediately offers Orin a VERY sympathetic smile.] OL: [rubbing his forehead] Way I saw it, whoever it was was goin' after actual threats. Browne an' Brasher earlier an' then Ozaki. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, Nicolette. [Nikki, of course, isn't buying her brother's observations. She shakes her head angrily.] Nikki: I'm serious, Orin! My life's in [BLEEP]ing danger here--! OL: [annoyed] Well, maybe if you kept your damn mouth shut once in a while, you wouldn't be askin' for trouble! All that gutter trash you keep spewin' is bound to attract the wrong sort o' attention... [muttering under his breath] ...an' maybe it'll get through your fool head for once. Nikki: [defiant sing-songy] You're just jealous 'cause I'm more popular than yoooooooooooooou~! OL: What the-- NO! [Fiona gives Orin a look of concern and gives his arm a squeeze. LeBlanc give her an appreciative nod in return.] Nikki: I mean, DUH! All my YouTube hits and all the e-mails I keep getting? It's so OBVIOUS how much the fans totally love ME! OL: [rolling his eyes] Yeah, well maybe it's one o' those so-called "fans" o' yours who's gettin' violent now. Nikki: Bet it was your bitch-ass girlfriend! [The Lynx's eyes narrow sharply at that...] OL: [growling] Fi didn't have nothin' to do with those attacks an' you know it, Nicolette. [...and Fiona's eyes narrow into a frown as well as it's pretty clear to her which way the conversation has turned.] FC: Tell Nikki if that attacker comes after her again, I want a front row seat! [No need to convey the message as Nikki's jaw drop, letting out a small whine as it does.] Nikki: Does that bitch of yours know what you're up to with those [BLEEP]ing freaks Axis and Lopez?! [Orin clenches his jaw, trying not to lose his temper once and for all. A thought suddenly strikes him.] OL: Weren't you droolin' over Lopez a few months back? Nikki: That was sooooooooo last year! And that was before I found out he was a moron anyways. [She sneers] I mean, he hangs out with YOU! OL: Right. An' that's gonna be the end o' this conversation. Nicolette, don't call me again unless you end up in the damn hospital! [*CLICK* The split screen sweeps back, showing only an annoyed Nikki, now reminded of potential threats to her life again. Her eyes go wide.] Nikki: Orin?! [She frantically hits redial, but no one is picking up anymore. She tosses the phone down onto the bed in disgust] Goddammit, what a [BLEEP]ing JERK! -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- * Commercials. By the way, highest recommendation for "Drew Carey's Improv-a-Ganza". Really funny show. * Coming back to see a couple of promos by the men in the next match: -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- [Backstage, Moe Owens stands beside the hunchbacked Carmine Condor. He wears red gear and of course a crimson and white lucha mask designed to look like a condor.] MO: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here with... CC: Moe! MO: ... the Carmine Condor. What is it? CC: I think I may have become some type of time traveler! MO: You have? CC: The last time I was on UWF television was back on September 23rd of last year. A fantastic match against Jamie Kidd, and I won! And everyone cheered! It was a complete blast, Moe! But now, I feel like I just hopped out of a cryogenic chamber some ten months later! MO: Did you? CC: No. I was doing the house shows with everybody else, and had a trip down to Mexico to do some extra training with my mentor to perfect my skills. MO: Is the high flying finally starting to look better? CC: Not really, but my mentor says I really put the laws of physics to the task. Until then, if a pescado turns into an unintentional flying elbow to the throat, that's OK. They both knock down an opponent, right? MO: I guess that is true. CC: But now on August second twenty-leven, el Cóndor Carmesí is back on UWF television. And the whole landscape changed so much, it's like I stepped out of a time capsule. I missed Heaven and Hell, the MBC's entirely gone, Gamma Ray and his Guard are fired, we have a new world champion, Annis and Martinez are now looking to adopt... What's going on, here, Moe? MO: Are you implying that... CC: How would I know? I wasn't invited to the wedding! But don't you see all the changes, Moe? John Shock, a man I loved watching for so many years, he has turned into a rudo! MO: If he has, that's news to me. CC: He hasn't? Well, that's a relief! John Shock is one of the ten high flyers whose electrifying exploits have inspired me the most in my young career! But that also means we have a technico showdown on our hands. A high flying battle to be fought in the name of lucha... and rodeos! Pescado against pescado, plancha against plancha, the famous Shock Wave against my fearsome Three Star Toad Splash! MO: It has three stars, now? CC: As my mentor says, it's five stars of pain, and one star of style. That averages a three. That's a passing grade, Moe. MO: In most schools, anyway. CC: You know, Moe, time may have blown past me last year, but now things are about to change. And when get to Gold Rush, you'll see me, the Carmine Condor, make a real big splash! Tonight, the condor takes flight again! MO: Well, you've heard him, folks. Stay tuned for John Shock vs Carmine Condor! [The Carmine Condor wraps his arm around Moe's shoulder and cheerily waves at the camera while the screen fades to black.] -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- "Gunter gleiben glauten globen." [Those are song-opening words we haven't heard for some time, but the positive crowd response indicates they haven't forgotten. And indeed, out from the entrance comes John Shock, who is dressed in his black vest and wrestling trunks, white wrestling boots and cowboy hat. He heads down the aisle, slapping hands with ringside fans, before reaching the ringside area. He grabs a mic before he enters the ring, where he tips his hat to the crowd, before raising the mic to his lips.] JS: It's been a while... lot's been goin' on in the You-Dubya-Eff... and I've been missin' out on a lotta the action. [A nod.] JS: Now, I had been plannin' ta team with Tommy Stephens and see what we could do, but then Tommy had his obligations with the TV title. And now I see he's got Amai Hitan on his tail and I can undahstand and r'spect that he's gotta address business with 'im. That bein' said, Tommy... ya earned my r'spect and if ya need me ta stand by yer side, ya got it. [He then removes his hat.] JS: But as fer me, I've been on the sideline fer too long... it's nothin' personal against the You-Dubya-Eff, it's simply that my d'sire has always been ta be the best I can be and I can't accomplish that by just standin' on the sidelines. So I can promise ya I'm aimin' fer any wrestler they wanna send my way. [A smile.] JS: And it's looks like it can start t'night as I find out jist how good Carmine Condor is... and then another shot on Rampage when I face Anatoly Malakhei. I got nothin' a'ginst the two of ya, but I can promise ya that these two matches are my first step toward gittin' to the top of the You-Dubya-Eff and lettin' ev'ryone know that I ain't gonna just go away quietly. So... let's git this started. [He hands the mic back to the ringside attendant and then removes his vest.] -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- Carmine Condor vs. John Shock -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- Carmine runs down to the ring to “Beach Rumble” by Shawn Lee, and shakes hand with John Shock at the start of the match. Shock controls the early match with a headlock, but Condor shoves Shock into the corner, then monkey flips Shock out to the middle of the ring. Carmine hip tosses Shock, but goes for a backdrop and Shock delivers a sunset flip for a two count. Both men attempt a double dropkick, and Condor gets to his feet first and hits a Puente Griego Suplex (Lucha Belly to Back Suplex) on the smaller Shock for a two count of his own. A series of elbow smashes on Shock puts Condor in control, but a springboard splash is greeted by raised knees from the veteran. Shock gets a two count from a handspring elbow, then a cross-body block by Shock takes both Condor and Shock over the ropes and onto the floor. The referee gets to a five count before Shock enters the ring first, but Condor rolls in right after him and gets Shock with an Olympic Slam. Condor follows up with a Double Underhook Backbreaker that leads to a two count. Condor goes for his "Death Valley Condor Driver" but Shock delivered a series of elbows to escape the hold before Condor could apply his finisher, stunning the youngster. Shock bounces off the ropes with a clothesline on Condor, causing the American Luchador to nearly somersault backwards. Shock got a two count from a pump splash, then climbed the ropes- but Condor dove for the corner to know Shock down, then delivered an ugly but effective hurricanrana for a two count. Condor slowed things downs with a "Vulture Clutch" (a single-leg Boston Crab with a toe hold on the other leg), that Shock needed to reach the ropes to force a break. Condor then went outside on the ring apron and leapt in for a springboard dropkick, but Shock ducked and Condor hit the mat. Shock rolled Condor up with La Magistral Cradle and held on for the three count! WINNER: John Shock, in 11:27, with La Magistral Cradle * After the match, the two shook hands again, with Condor raising Shock's arm and the crowd applauding both men's abilities and efforts. * Good match by both men- Shock's experience helped him win, but Condor was able to go toe-to-toe with one of the best high flyers in the UWF. * Commercials, followed by some interviews leading up to the main event: -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- [Bathed in multicolored light, the scene begins amidst the sunlit glow of a stain glass window. Always an impressive sight, the windows fill the room with warmth and awe. And as the camera pulls back we see a basic chapel, complete with a few pews. On one pew sits a smallish man, basking in the light and praying...] "Are you there God? It's me, Scud." [And as Scud continues to pray, the camera pans over to two of his fellow members of the Insanity Society. However, you can be rest assured that "Thrillseeker" Tommy Elliot and Tamara "Tommy" Jackson are having a conversation that's far less religious.] TE: But it's possible right? TJ: I guess it is. TE: Let's do it then! TJ: Seriously? TE: The world needs caffeinated moonshine! TJ: Do you even understand the implications of what you are proposing? [Ah, those wonderful church conversations. Where would we be without them?] Woman's Voice: All right, let's get this meeting underway. [And in walks Tawni Northern, the defacto brains behind the Insanity Society. And for some reason she's dressed like an airline stewardess. Behind her is the leader and defacto muscle of the Insanity Society, "Dark Horse" Randall Osbourne. He is dressed like an airline pilot. He removes his cap, tucks it under his arm and steps behind the wooden podium situated in the middle of the chapel.] RO: Ladies and gentlemen, beyond these walls be demons. [Scud is the first to raise his hand.] Scud: Ummm... why are we in a chapel? [Tommy Elliot is the second.] TE: And why the chapel in the Toronto airport? RO: We, the Insanity Society, are a nomadic clan. Whether it be planes, trains, or automobiles, we are constantly moving. Why? For we are hunted. [Osbourne squints his eyes as he looks at his fellow IS members.] RO: By demons. TE: Demons? TJ: Literal or metaphorical? Scud: I have lots of those. TJ: Which kind? RO: On the forthcoming TNT, we are to face off against the trio of The Morningstars and Nina Grimsson. Those are your demons! Those are your devils! Scud: I thought Nina was our friend? RO: She is, but she is the "Cute Demon." She may like you but she'd bite off your face and laugh. Scud: Didn't you teach her to do that? RO: And the Morningstars. The writing is on the wall! And on Wikipedia! Tawni. [Tawni holds up her smartphone, reading from the thoroughly fact checked source that we call Wikipedia.] TN: And I quote "Traditionally, Lucifer is a name that in English generally refers to the devil before being cast from heaven, although this is not the original meaning of the term. In Latin, from which the English word is derived, Lucifer means "light-bearer" It was the name given to the dawn appearance of the planet Venus, which heralds daylight. For this meaning, English generally uses the names "Morning Star" or "Day Star." RO: There for, we are fighting the devil. Scud: They're not really demons... RO: Scud, since when has the Insanity Society dealt in facts? Scud: I guess never... RO: Exactly. We deal in irrational conclusions based on minimal information. And it has served us well! It won us tag team gold at Heaven and Hell. And because we reached into that chasm between the holiest of holy places and the most damned of damnation, it is now our task to defend those title belts! Not just against our fellow wrestlers, but now demons! Not only is it natural for us to be pursued, but it is now also _super_ natural. I see it all clearly now. First it was Tawni's uncanny resemblance to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And then it was the unnatural way that Moe Owen's legs flail about as if controlled by puppet strings! It rests upon us, the Society to put things right... to defend the UWF from things unnatural. TE: So are the Sabbat coming back? Weren't they vampires? TJ: Are you serious? Scud: I hear Tigress was a succubus. TJ: They let them wrestle? TN: That's Nikki the Cat. TE: I hear she sucks... TN: TOMMY! Ladies present! TJ: No, I actually have heard that before. Nikki doesn't hold back. RO: And neither shall the Insanity Society! At least in all ways pertaining to defending our championship against wrestlers, demons, devils and vampires. And maybe those wacky Russians. TJ: So who are the vampires? Martinez and Annis? TE: You know... [Tommy takes some chips, dips them in his coffee, and starts munching on them]... I think we need a base. We're going up against the stuff of nightmares, defending our tag teams titles. [Tommy dips some more chips into the coffee, let them soak up the flavor, and then chews on them.] But something mobile- since we travel so much. [He finishes off the chips] How about a van? I know a guy who might be able to sell us one... TJ: What guy is that? TE: Scoop- Scud knows him- has a cool dog. [Looks into the box of chips, turns it upside down, and frowns] Man- out of snacks already. But let's get the van and start looking for clues on beating the Old Man Lucifer and the Morningstar Brothers. TJ: We could just take my pickup... we may have to go traveling through rough country. [Pauses] Wait a minute... who's Lucifer? I thought Nina was the Cute Demon. Scud: Okay... I get all that... I guess. But why are you dressed like a pilot? RO: If John Travolta can do it, so can I. And without the Scientology. [Fade.] -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- [Cut to the back, where Nina Grimsson is in her locker room taping her hands.] Nina: The Insanity Society and Tommy Jackson against the Morningstars and myself. I have to say, while it was something I didn't expect, it certainly has the makings of a solid matchup. [Nina bites the strip of tape from the roll, wrapping the final strand around her hand.] Nina: As it stand, I know my job. Dealing with The Insanity Society, I'll leave to the Morningstars. You, on the other hand, Tommy, are going to be the sole recipient of my focus. You see, while I've never locked horns with you before, your reputation precedes you. I know of your past and the accomplishments you have earned. [Nina stands up, slamming her right fist into her left palm.] Nina: Well, tonight, they don't mean jack [MEEP]. You see, I've stumbled onto a bit of a losing streak recently, and I don't mind saying that I haven't found the taste to my liking to say the least. So tonight, Tommy, at your expense, that streak comes to an end! [FADE] -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- * Nina is just so adorable when she swears. It's like seeing a seven year old try to act tough. Really. * On to the main event: -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- The Insanity Society and Tommy Jackson vs. The Morningstars & Nina "Mockingbird" Grimsson -TNT--------------------------------------------------------------------- Before the match, the IS (including Scud and Tawni) huddle up (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srI4CuEVUiM). I was able to translate what they were chanting: "Schlemiel, schlimazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!" Tommy Jackson and Nina Grimsson started off. Past alliances are quickly thrown out the window as Nina starts off with Muay Thai knees and elbows, and Tommy fights back with punches, kicks, and forearms. Nina drives Tommy into the corner and whipped her to the opposite corner, then delivered a spin kick to take down Tommy. A cover leads to a one count, and Nina hits with one elbowdrop but misses on a second attempt. On the following lockup, Tommy grabs Nina in a headlock and Tommy Dogs her to the mat for a one count. Nina and Tommy go to their corner and tag in Cain and Randall Osbourne. Osbourne greets Cain with a forearm and manhandles Cain, but an eyerake leaves Osbourne open and Cain tags in Saul. The two take Osbourne off his feet with a double slam, then take turns tagging each other in, holding Osbourne down, and jumping off the rope with a kneedrop or fistdrop. The double team of Osbourne lasts for a few minutes, leading to multiple two counts on the former world champion. Osbourne rolls over to a neutral corner and starts to stand up as Cain heads over- only to be caught by a chokeslam from Osbourne, who reaches out to tag in Tommy Elliott. Elliott greets Cain with a charging kneelift, driving Cain out of the ring. Elliott dives out of the ring with a Pescado to drive Cain into the steel guardrail, then rolls Cain back into the ring for a two count. Elliott leaps up with an Asai Moonsault- and Cain catches him with a tombstone piledriver, planting Elliott into the mat for a two count. Cain tags in Saul, and the two start hammering the smaller Elliott, pummelling him from one corner of the ring to the other. After Elliott flipped over a double backdrop attempt, a six-person brawl broke out. Osbourne caught Saul with a clothesline to take him over the top rope, as Tommy Elliott climbed up one corner and Tommy Jackson scrambled up a second corner. Osbourne grabs Tommy Jackson and launched her as a human dart (a "Tommy Rocket") onto Nina Grimsson, then launched Tommy Elliott with another Tommy Rocket onto Cain Morningstar for the three count. WINNER: The Insanity Society & Tommy Jackson, in 8:52, with Tommy Rocket * The IS had more teamwork and that put them over the makeshift team of the Morningstars and Nina Grimsson * Overall, a good card. Carmine Condor was the big surprise, really being impressive here. |
![]() |
|
| crimsonjoe | Sep 23 2011, 08:01 AM Post #2 |
|
The Luther Burger
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Thoughts on TNT? |
![]() |
|
| El Dandy | Sep 23 2011, 08:25 AM Post #3 |
![]()
Is the She of the fight!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I like the "Show Report" feel it conveyed to me. It was a quick and easy read, which is awesome. I'm still working my way through the AWA's Stampede Cup. |
![]() |
|
| Overly_Critical_Jue | Sep 23 2011, 11:22 AM Post #4 |
![]()
Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
-Was it just me or did that POC/Ritter rp read like two comedy faces shooting the breeze? Didn't come off heelish to me at all. -Two recaps on TNT mean there needs to be more content! -Poor Nikki. |
![]() |
|
| RedRajah | Sep 23 2011, 11:52 AM Post #5 |
|
Shocked Woona is Shocked
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
The prophet is never appreciated in her own time.
|
| And here's where I pretend to be a writer... | |
![]() |
|
| Picky | Sep 23 2011, 01:38 PM Post #6 |
|
Now let us retreat wench, for tonight, we feast on snobbery...
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Man, trying to revive a PVW newsletter just to see if I could convince Katie to do a semi-Nikki the Cat themed review is tempting. |
|
Have I told you how much I loathe your continued existence today? Proud member of the Quote Pyramid Builders Union Local #317 | |
![]() |
|
| RedRajah | Sep 23 2011, 01:51 PM Post #7 |
|
Shocked Woona is Shocked
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
This is just to help further convince Bell that adding a women's division to PVW would be a bad idea, isn't it?
|
| And here's where I pretend to be a writer... | |
![]() |
|
| Overly_Critical_Jue | Sep 23 2011, 02:05 PM Post #8 |
![]()
Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
If you thought Annis/Martinez had some heavy innuendo, I fear what Katie would do dissecting PVW's roster. |
![]() |
|
| Codered | Sep 23 2011, 02:26 PM Post #9 |
|
The Luther Burger
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
What is going on here ... Nothing to see ... Nothing to see ... *whistles* |
| PVW Website: www.pvwrestling.net | |
![]() |
|
| texanspaniard | Sep 23 2011, 05:52 PM Post #10 |
|
The Luther Burger
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Recently I did a few little write ups for PVW so.. WHY NOT UWF! -Review of recent UWF events kicks off the show, Scottie is as snipey as always in regards to other women's wrestlers. Her snipeyness leads us into the first match! -Sierra Browne vs Gaia Brasher [These two seemed to match up well actually before the woman in black attacks them. She drops knees on their faces, DDT's them, the ref calls the match off. I wonder how this woman in black storyline will playout. Have we even seen the last of her on this show? Hrmmm..] -Amai Hitan vs Jamie Kidd [Yikes! The Kyoto Nightmare KILLS poor Jamie Kidd, including some crazy finisher called "Super Death"! Heck of a debut for Hitan.] -The Untouchables (Pablo O'Connor & Josh Ritter) [Who are these hacks?! Who let them on the show?!] -Stars & Bars vs No Fat Chicks [I liked the description of Stars & Bars before the match! Match was fun, Stars & Bars look like they will be a lot of fun in UWF! Dug the postmatch, how they stomped on everyone until they left the ring. Fun stuff!] -Scottie really digs the suffering the women take at the hands of this woman in black. Hmmm.. Is Scottie the woman in black??! We get a recap of the Woman in Black attacking Miyuki and Nikki from the last SNR and that leads us to.. -Nikki the Cat & Orin LeBlanc [Orin IS a jerk to his sister! OUR POOR HEROINE IS IN DANGER! SOMEONE SAVE NIKKI!! HER LIFE IS IN DANGER!!! I wonder what kind of bodyguards Nikki could conjure up?! That could be fun! NIKKI NIKKI NIKKI!] -Carmine Condor [This was a really fun promo! I'm digging the masked man who is roughly making his way through the ways of lucha and high flying. Should be a heck of a match between him and Shock, I thought he handled the face vs face aspect really well and in an entertaining fashion! Fun promo!] -John Shock [Solid promo. Addressed what's become of his team with Stephens, that he still has Tommy's back if he needs, but he's been out of the ring for too long and is ready to take aim at the top. To the point and ready for action! Good stuff!] -Carmine Condor vs John Shock [That was a really fun summary match! Action packed, I wasn't really sure who was going to win, I got fairly into it! Shock picks up the win but both men came off really well here. Enjoyed this quite a bit!] -Insanity Society [HAHAHAHA! This was alot of fun and very funny but.. SLANDER OF NIKKI?! Poor, poor Nikki! She gets insulted and slandered from every angle! This was alot of fun and really got me excited for the match coming up! Can't wait!] -Nina Grimsson [I was sad that this was not a Nina & Morningstars joint RP. Can you imagine how that would go? That would've been awesome. Cain & Nina maybe bonding over ways to injure opponents, Saul bringing the comedy. THE POTENTIAL IS LIMITLESS! But sadly, no joint promo. *sobs*] -Insanity Society vs Morningstars & Nina Grimsson [That was a lot of fun! Really good summary write up, I enjoyed this alot and I totally dug the Tommy Rockets with Jackson & Elliott in the finish! Fun match! Surprised a bit it didn't have some crazy postmatch or something but was alot of fun!] -Fun show! LET'S GET SNR NOW! WOOO! |
![]() |
|
| « Previous Topic · UWF · Next Topic » |






![]](http://z5.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)




3:30 AM Jul 11