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Thursday Night Throwdown [03.08.12]; Almost real time, baby!
Topic Started: Mar 11 2012, 12:44 AM (178 Views)
KliqerT
Member Avatar
Doughy
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Website's temporarily down again, so here's the show in entirety:

============================================================
[Black screen to start. A caption pops up: "AFTER RAMPAGE EXCLUSIVE".
The caption fades out as we then fade in on the locker room. Off to the
side is Virginia St. Ursula, her usual lovely face marred by a look of
deep concern. She bites her bottom lip, waiting for answers but not
wanting to get in the way of the trainer looking over her charge.

Sitting on the bench, currently having a penlight shone in his eyes, is
"Nighthawk" Michael Bonn. The Massachusetts native grunts a little,
shifting the ice pack he's holding up a bit on his head.]

Trainer: Pupils are normal, Ms. St. Ursula. [he shuts the penlight off,
frowning] No concussion -- this time at least.

VSU: [picking up the word choice] "This time"?

Trainer: Well... [he shrugs] ...Frost ain't a nice guy, Ms. St. Ursula.
I remember this one ugly match he had in Shootfire and--

VSU: Yeah, we get the picture. [Ginny sighs, shaking her head as the
trainer exits. Bonn looks like he's about to get up.] Stay down!

BONN: [wincing] Ugh...not so loud...

VSU: Sorry. [Ginny's face is still etched with worry. Another grunt
escapes Michael] We should have expected Frost. I just--!

BONN: Easy. [Bonn lets out a faint chuckle, much to his manager's
surprise.] So this is what it's like to be on the giving end.

VSU: Michael... [With a small groan, the Nighthawk rises from the bench
finally.] What are you doing?! Don't get up...

[Michael waves her off, letting the ice pack drop from his hand.]

BONN: Angel, O'Brien...even Ryu. God, those guys would not shut up!
And I just wanted to pound the ever-living [BLEEP] out of them. [He
takes a shaky step forward.] 'Cause they got to me...

[Michael takes another step, this one more sure.]

...and this time I got to Victor. [He nods his head, still wincing.]
For all his ego and arrogance, I'm getting under that sonuvabitch's skin.
Guess I'm doing something right.

[Virginia looks incredulously at Michael, not entirely convinced, but he
then rests a hand on her shoulder. She finally smiles, seeing the
determination set in Michael's eyes.]

VSU: ...keep getting to that bastard then...

[Fade out.]

============================================================
* Hello, one and all. Trinity presents Thursday Night Throwdowns!

* This is Scottie Saratoga, and I'm feeling good. Nikki the Cat, why
don't you tell the fine folks why I'm feeling so good.

* ...
* ...
* ...
* <<crickets>>>

* Silence is golden. Silence, when it's from an empty-headed waste of
estrogen, is even better.

* We're at the Thomas and Mack Center at UNLV in Las Vegas, Nevada. Moe
Owens welcomes us, and gives us both the highlights from the last SNR as
well as talking about the matches for tonight's show.

* Things are heating up in the main event. Vasquez and Gamma Ray had a
'miscommunication', costing them a tag team match. Considering they are
headed for a title match showdown in the near future, you have to wonder
how much of that 'miscommunication' was intentional. Neither Vasquez nor
Gamma Ray is an angel

* And now the Hands of Death have their hands full- not just with RIOT,
but now Alex Epstein and Jason Keening have returned. For all of the
jokes about them, both Epstein and Keening are guys who have been in a
ton of wars

* Pablo O'Connor beat Randall Osbourne by DQ to retain the title, but in
the process gave Brian Young just one more reason to beat the snot out of
him. And India Inc. were upset by the Midnight Children.

* And now we go to the ring, where Zero-G is waiting while we go
backstage:

============================================================
[Backstage we find a simple black backdrop with the UWF logo scrolled
across it. Not the most impressive of sets, but the albino pink eyes of
our protagonist stare gleefully at those three letters like they were the
greatest things he'd ever seen. It's been a long road to the big
leagues. A wait that lengthy can do a lot to a man's self-confidence,
fortunately this isn't a man. His back to the camera, too busy admiring
the craftsmanship of the cheap curtain to realize this is being
recording, the scarlet serpent runs a claw across the golden initials. A
forced cough from the videographer snaps your newest hire out of his
trance. Is this a dream?]

Man: ...Pinch me.

[Wait. Could that be misconstrued as sexual harassment? Jesus. That
kind of courting might have been tolerated in the little leagues, but
this is the big time! They probably have lawyers here. Don't blow this
before you even start! ...SCRA all over again. Wiping beads of sweat
off his pasty forehead with a blood red handkerchief, our anxious star
takes a moment to compose himself, before deciding that the best course
of action is to act like the previous comment never happened. It did.
Spinning around on his heel, the cheap heat machine greets the camera
with his recently bleached pearly whites. Decked out in a black, Armani
suit, with matching silk shirt, and loafers shined to perfection, Vile
“Vince” Viper is dressed to the nines. None of his usual animal hides,
that wouldn't play here.]

VVV: Hello UWF. Unless you viewers at home have a twenty-four-hour
wrestling channel, and find yourselves watching it at 3'o'clock in the
morning – possibly while drinking – you probably aren't familiar with my
work. My name is Vile “Vince” Viper, and I have spent the better part of
a lifetime in the business of wrestling. For reasons that aren't
entirely clear to me, I have never made it to the larger stages of my
sport... so you see, being here, this is a dream come true. If you'd
told me a month ago, that the biggest match of my career involved opening
against Zero Gravity in a university arena in Vegas of all places... I'd
probably have arranged an intervention for you. “Vegas has a
University?” Yet here we are. Zero Gravity, I can't expressssss---*

[Wide eyed, the horrified old man clasps his recently manicured claws
over his mouth. The lisp! It was going so well too. That all important
first impression was going to be respectable. He'd actually have a
second match here. He could afford to retire! You're so close, Vile,
try to keep it in check.]

VVV: Expres...s...sss...s-s-s---*

[Hands firmly covering his mouth, Vile watches his hopes get dashed.
Speech impediments are so bush league. For the love of God – don't slur
out bush!]

VVV: ExpreSSs*

[...Maybe you should just try to avoid words with an s in them? You can
do this, Vile. You tricked these fools into hiring you, keeping up the
charade of being decent should be a cake walk.]

VVV <awkwardly catching himself from using certain words>: ...Zero
Gravity... I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. I know you'll put up that
UWF quality effort with me; I look forward to proving my merit with an
opponent of your ability. To the audience, I'm aware of the fact that
I'm not what you normally expect. My look, my age, my words, my moves,
they don't enjoy the pedigree that a big league like the UWF can normally
be counted on. It might be a rough beginning, finding my voice here, but
give me a chance, I might grow on you.

Hell, for you, I might finally become ressssssssssssssssssspectable.

[God damn it. Vile flinches as the word escapes his mouth. The big
league. It's going to be a long road. Just when Viper didn't think he
could end on a worse note, the cameraman earnestly pitches in...]

CM: Do you still want me to pinch you?

[A blood vessel breaks in the old man's eye. Being classy is going to
kill him.]
============================================================

* Vile "Vince" Viper against Zero-G. They lock up and Viper drives Zero-
G to the corner, then whips him to the other side. A leg lariat takes
Zero-G over and a release suplex leads to a 2 count. Viper shows off his
knowledge over his much younger competitor, locking in a sleeperhold that
almost takes out Zero-G before he's able to grabs the ropes. As Viper
releases the sleeperhold, Zero-G lashes out with a kick that is a low
blow. The referee determines that it's an accident, and Vile rolls out
of the ring, his face showing both pain and anger. Viper takes a few
breathes before climbing back into the ring. Zero-G tries to go for an
early attack, grabbing Viper, throwing him into the ropes- and missing
with a dropkick. Viper runs off the ropes and delivers the Crescent Moon
Killer (a Backflip kneestrike to the head)

* Winner: At 2:41, Vile "Vince" Viper

* After the match, Viper reaches down, grab Zero-G's hand, and forces the
half-conscious undercard wrestler to shake hands before leaving the ring.

* A good debut. Viper's a longtime veteran, on par with Epstein or
Keening, but never has worked for the UWF before. I expect him to make a
big impact in the UWF.

* Before we go to commercial:
============================================================

[Scene opens to backstage and the Thomas and Mack Center on the campus of
UNLV where Moe Owens is walking around with young intern Jesse DeCarlo.]

MO: I try to memorize all the routes back to the UWF banner spot in case
I get called to do an interview on the fly!

JD: We are heading that way now, aren't we?

MO: Yeah, just for routine..

[They arrive at the UWF banner and a staffer hands Moe a microphone, much
to his surprise.]

MO: Why are you giving me this?

JD: You've got an interview to do!

MO: What?! I don't recall any...

[Moe's voice trails off because walking onto the scene is the UWF Unified
Television Champion, "Up All Night" Pablo O'Connor, and his wife and
manager, Stephanie Delacroix! Pablo is sporting a navy blue suit with the
TV title belt over his shoulder while Stephanie is smashing in a dark red
dress suit.]

MO: Pablo O'Connor?! Stephanie Delacroix?!

[Pablo and Stephanie exchange quick glances then look at Moe as if he
grew two heads.]

POC: What the heck, Moe!

SD: You ASKED us for this interview!

MO: I did?!

[Jesse smiles and raises his hand.]

JD: That was me!

[O'Connor and Delacroix give DeCarlo puzzled looks, unsure of who he is,
while Moe looks surprised.]

MO: You booked an interview?!

JD: Yeah! I figured they're big news right now so...

[Owens gives Jesse a sad look.]

MO: (quietly) Do you know how quick tempered these two..

SD: What was that Moe?!

MO: N-nothing! I was just telling him what a good job he's done on
booking such a great interview!

[Delacroix narrows her eyes at Moe.]

SD: I'm on to you.

MO: *gulp*

POC: Well, whomever booked us.. Get to the questions! Vamanos!

JD: Viva! Vamanos! Arriba! You guys started that whole chant back in NEO
as the original Senor Cloak!

SD: Who is this kid?

MO: This is Jesse DeCarlo, our new intern.

SD: Did Cammy leave because you were hitting on her?

MO: What?! I would never..

POC: Sure, Moe. Sure.

SD: Pervert!

[Moe wipes some sweat off his forehead.]

MO: Let's get down to the business at hand..

POC: Finally!

MO: On the last Saturday Night Rampage, in your title defense against
Randall Osbourne, you exploited the young daughter of Brett Young to
steal a win via disqualification..

POC: What the..?!

SD: Is this some kind of SICK joke, Moe?!

MO: L-let me rephrase that..

POC: I think that would be a good idea!

SD: Slander! A pervert AND a slanderer!

MO: Many are claiming that you exploited..

*GRAB*

MO: EEEEEEE!

[Pablo grabs Owens by his collar, like usual, and yanks the poor man
closer.]

POC: That is a BOLD faced, out right DIRTY.. STINKING.. LIE!

SD: For shame Moe!

POC: We had NO idea that crack baby was going to show up last Rampage!

SD: Much less in the front row!

POC: That little stretch of track marks came of her own accord!

SD: Probably hitting Daddy up for another fix!

[Pablo slowly lets the frightened man go.]

MO: Phew...

JD: Wow! So that was the whole anger management thing right?

[Pablo and Stephanie turn to look at young Jesse with a shocked
expression while Moe has just gone pale white.]

SD: What was that?

JD: Both of you losing your tempers then calming down!

POC: Is he talking to us?

JD: You were using the anger management stuff Nuclear John Bomber taught
you!

[O'Connor and Delacroix shiver with disgust at the mention of the former
UWF star then Pablo points at DeCarlo.]

POC: Mention that man again to us and I will treat you like a citizen of
Styx!

[Alarmed, because he was there to know the reference, Moe scrambles.]

MO: AHEM!

[Pablo and Stephanie snap their heads back towards Moe.]

MO: As I was saying.. Critics are saying you exploited Young's daughter
to your advantage on the last show..

SD: SLANDER!

POC: LIES!

MO: Whatever the case, your plans later in the night did not go so well
because your interference in the Triple Threat match to determine the
number one contender for your TV title backfired and now Brett Young is
your opponent on Rampage!

POC: Hold up there, Moe! I do NOT like this talk of plans and whatever.
It seems to still imply we had something to do with Brett's daughter
being at ringside..

SD: Which is PREPOSTEROUS! There is no way we could have any involvement
in that. None!

POC: Nada.

SD: Zilch!

POC: As for what happened later in the evening.. I dropped a quarter in
the ring earlier when I was beating Randall Osbourne pillar to post..

JD: Actually he was..

MO: YES YOU WERE BEATING HIM PILLAR TO POST!

[Moe gives Jesse a look of DEATH.]

POC: Right.. I was slapping that big goof around when I dropped a
quarter. I was going back to get it when that no good "brother" of mine,
Brett Young, yelled that it was HIS quarter!

SD: The selfish bastard!

POC: And.. well you know the rest. He struck me instead of letting me
claim what was rightfully my quarter then, sadly, Trey DaMann tripped
over me and Young pulled out brass knuckles, a spike, a chain and two
packs of chewing gum and BLASTED poor Trey with all of that and STOLE the
number one contendership for the Television Championship!

MO: Yes.. That is an interesting take on what happened..

JD: But it didn't happen like that at all!

[Pablo and Stephanie snap their heads angrily back towards DeCarlo.]

POC: I think someone is anxious to become a citizen of Styx!

MO: What he was TRYING to say was that Brett Young committed even more
atrocious acts to steal the number one contendership!

[Poor Moe. On the one hand you can tell lying about Brett Young to save
Jesse is ripping his guts out. But on the other hand.. A look of UTTER
JOY appear on the faces of Pablo and Stephanie.]

POC: Moe... You finally GET us!

SD: An interviewer who gets us?!

MO: I was just ah.. Stating what happened, that's all.

POC: Moe.. I think you finally have earned the right to be called Owens
by us!

[Surprisingly a look of happiness appears on Moe's face.]

MO: Really?!

SD: I think you've earned it...

[The duo look at one another, nod and then..]

Together: Owe-

JD: But what are you going to do now that Brett has you one on one in the
ring on the next Rampage?

[Joy turns to utter disappointment on the faces of Pablo and Stephanie.
Moe's face is frozen in fear.]

JD: You put his cousin Chad Parker out of action permanently! You may
have sent Tommy Stephens into a relapse of his alcoholism! And now it
appears you ruined the one chance Brett Young ever had of his daughter
watching him live in person in a wrestling ring!

POC: Wait a minute.. I.. That is not..

SD: Nothing happened..

POC: Like that..

SD: Yeah!

[Pablo and Stephanie begin to sweat profusely.]

POC: My brother he.. Ah..

SD: Blip Reynolds sang that...

POC: Saw him just the other night..

MO: The crooner?

POC: Yeah.. I mean.. Brett!

SD: All his fault!

POC: N-not scared at all!

SD: So going to.. ah..

POC: Like a freight train!

SD: Bag of bricks!

JD: You both have alot to answer to on Rampage, is all I'm saying.

[Stephanie shakes her head while closing her eyes tightly.]

SD: LA LA LA LA LA!

[Pablo runs his hand over his face nervously and then..]

POC: DRING! DRING!

MO: Are you trying to imitate the ringing of a phone?

POC: W-what? No it's my phone!

SD: Yeah it's ringing! DRING DRING!

[Pablo nervously pulls out his cell phone and opens it up.]

POC: Hola? What? Double parked? OH NO!

[He puts his phone away.]

POC: The car is double parked, we better run!

SD: Don't want a ticket!

POC: Not scared of my brother.. B-B-Brett.. and..

SD: KICK HIS MUSH MOUTH!

POC: Yeah!

SD: Bye!

[Pablo and Stephanie flee like no tomorrow! Moe lets out a long sigh of
relief and then turns to Jesse.]

MO: You saved us!

JD: I was just trying to ask questions!

MO: I like your initiative but from now on ask me FIRST before booking
interviews!

JD: OK. Sorry if I stepped on any toes.

MO: Don't worry about it. Now come on, we have more routes to memorize!

[They walk offscreen as the scene fades.]
============================================================

[The scene opens backstage to Leanna Love, performing a series of warm-up
stretches. She's clad in a tank top and blue yoga pants, her feet bare.
Her blonde hair is pulled back and styled in a ponytail that falls down
her back. Suddenly, she catches sight of her younger sister, Lolita,
making her way towards her with a grin. Lolita is clad in a sleeveless,
pink, flowy top and black mini skirt. She completes the look with heels,
her blonde hair falling straight down her back, bangs resting above her
eyes. As her sister nears, Leanna immediately stops stretching and folds
her arms across her chest, regarding her with a suspicious frown.]

Lolita: Leanna, just the woman I wanted to see!

Leanna: What do I owe the honor? [pauses] Shouldn't you be off somewhere,
getting ready for our match tonight?

[Lolita waves her hand.]

Lolita: Oh, please. I'm not worried about that thing. My track record
lately speaks for itself. Just ask Tommy Jackson.

[Leanna makes a face and rolls her eyes.]

Lolita: But what I actually came to talk to you about was you finally
laying the smackdown on Sierra!

[Lolita clasps her hands, her blue eyes shining with excitement.]

Lolita: You totally blindsided her and I loved every second of it!
[laughs] It was perfect and you would have really left her laying if
stupid security hadn't jumped in it.

[Lolita shakes her head and sighs.]

Lolita: Whatever. What matters is that you've _finally_ taken my advice
and learned that the only way to get anything around here is to take it.
And you can't care about who you screw over in the process. Now that
you're seeing things my way, we can finally start tagging again and
bringing back the Lov...

[Leanna holds up a hand, cutting her off.]

Leanna: Hold up. What I did to Sierra had nothing to do with you or your
screwed up logic. I hit the [MEEP] because she's annoying as Hell and has
a big mouth. Like I said before, I'm not going to compromise myself or
who I am just so I can waltz around here, excited about what amounts to a
bunch of cheap wins.

[Lolita gasps in outrage, folding her arms across her chest as her smile
is quickly replaced by an incredulous frown.]

Leanna: And, as much as I love you, the only way you and I will be
tagging together is when you get your head out of your [MEEP] and start
acting like you've got some sense again!

[Lolita glares at her sister, her tone icy.]

Lolita: I see. Well, I guess we've both said all that needs to be said.
Good luck tonight. Something tells me you'll need it.

[Lolita stomps off in a huff as Leanna watches, shaking her head as the
scene fades.]
============================================================

* It's so adorable watching the Love Sisters act tough by swearing.
Really.

* Leanna Love vs. Lolita Love. There's a lot of sisterly anger right at
the start, as Leanna shoves her younger (and smaller) sister into the
corner and delivers a series of kicks to her stomach. An eyerake by
Lolita turns the tide, and Lolita drives Leanna out of the corner with a
hair-assisted bulldog, then delivers an asai moonsault for a two count.
Lolita shows off with a cartwheel, which earns a 7.8 from the French
judge and a clothesline from her sister. Leanna powerslams Lolita, using
her strength to counter Lolita's speed, and gets a two count.

As Leanna starts to pick up Lolita, Sierra Browne walks down to ringside.
Sierra and Leanna start yelling at each other, and Lolita rolls up
Leanna, grabbing the bottom rope for added leverage as she gets the three
count.

* WINNER: At 3:38, Lolita Love

* Lolita mocks her sister as she leaves the ring. Leanna looks torn
between continuing the fight with her sister and going after Sierra
Browne, but does neither.

* The Love Sisters have been wrestling for a while now. They have some
skills, but they tend to get caught up in their own emotional issues,
which limits their ability. It showed here- Leanna could have won, but
was easily distracted.

* OK- now that we've seen mediocre female wrestlers, let's hear from the
top of the class:
============================================================

[Fade in: We find UWF reporter Cammy Magnus walking down the hallway of
what appears to be a five-star resort. And she looks pretty smug as she
walks down the hallway.]

CM: I just got the greatest gig I could ever ask for — I'm not just any
backstage reporter for the UWF.

[A grin.]

CM: I am the official backstage reporter for the greatest collection of
women's wrestling talent ever — Trinity!

And I have been granted the exclusive privilege of interviewing the UWF
Women's World Champion, "The All Around Athlete" Laura Davis, at the
luxury suite that Trinity has booked for the weekend at the JW Marriott
Las Vegas!

[She approaches a door.]

CM: You can all thank me later for letting you share in this moment.

[With that, Cammy knocks on the door. After a few minutes, the door opens
and there stands Laura Davis herself. Davis is dressed in a white blouse
with a pair of tan slacks and matching suit coat.]

LD: Cammy — welcome. You may enter.

[She opens the door wider and motions for Cammy and the cameraman to come
in. The camera now pans around the large living area with its plush
furniture — and a silver ice bucket with several bottles of water sits on
the coffee table. Resting on the couch would be the UWF Women's World
title belt.]

CM: This is just incredible — truly you live the life of a champion,
Laura.

[Davis takes a seat on the couch, with Cammy taking a seat in a plush
chair.]

LD: Only the finest will do for Trinity, Cammy.

CM: Where are Taylor and Scottie, if I may ask?

LD: They are tending to other business — I'm sure you will catch up with
them later.

CM: [nodding] So, let's talk about Trinity, shall we?

LD: First, I have one issue I need to clear up — this regarding Summer
Blake.

CM: OK — but we all remember what you had to say to her. Why would
Trinity approach her now about joining?

LD: Cammy, when you get things off your chest in the heat of the moment,
you sometimes say something that you shouldn't have. And that was what I
did, when I called Summer Blake a bitch — and that I deeply regret. For
that, I am truly sorry and I apologize to Summer — the truth is, I have
always respected her as a wrestler and believes she deserves better than
the treatment she's been dealt through the years.

And that is why I believe she belongs with Trinity — because then she
would no longer have to worry about being subject to that treatment, and
those that would try that would answer to us.

CM: Is that the business that Taylor and Scottie are tending to?

LD: Cammy, I understand you wanting to get questions answered, but you
should understand that there are some things that cannot be addressed in
front of the cameras.

CM: OK, fair enough. Now, you do have a match on Throwdowns this week
against "The Hot Chick" Tarryn Weller. Your thoughts about the match?

LD: Cammy, let's look at the two wrestlers in this match — first, you
have The All Around Athlete, and then, you have The Hot Chick. You know
what I remember from my days in high school about the types of people
those descriptions fit?

In my case, The All Around Athlete fits because there wasn't a sport I
didn't excel in. I excelled in basketball, I excelled in volleyball, I
excelled in tennis, I excelled in softball, I excelled in track and field
and I excelled in cross country running. I went on to college and
excelled in freestyle wrestling — and today, I excel in professional
wrestling.

But a hot chick? We had a word that described girls like that — easy.

[A smirk.]

LD: Tarryn Weller, you are just another one of those girls who represent
what I can't stand about wrestling. Well, last Rampage, Taylor and
Scottie took care of one of those girls who represents what I can't stand
— what Trinity can't stand — about women's wrestling by taking away the
part of the body she likes to use the most —

[A slight laugh.]

LD: That being her big, fat mouth.

Now, it's my turn to make an example and show the wrestling world what
happens when they want to send a hot chick my way and call her a worthy
challenger to my title.

Not only that, I send a message to the woman who I know will be coming
for me, and that's Tesla St. James. She's come close to beating me, I'll
admit it — but close doesn't count in professional wrestling. She can
come as close as she wants, but there's a difference between coming close
and actually getting the job done.

[She motions to the camera.]

LD: Now... you are dismissed.

CM: [taken aback] Laura, I didn't meant to...

LD: [turning to Cammy] Not you, Cammy — the guy with the camera. You are
my guest and you may stay — the cameraman is only allowed to be here for
as long as I tolerate his presence.

CM: [a sudden smile] Oh... OK! [She then motions to the camera.] You
heard her — shoo!

[The cameraman takes the hint, heading toward the door as the shot fades
out.]
============================================================

* Cammy's a smart youngster with a bright future. As long as she stays
away from bad influences- Amy Marshall, for instance- she'll do fine.

* Laura Davis vs. Taryn Weller, for Davis' World Title. In Laura's
corner is your friendly neighborhood recapper, Scottie Saratoga. And
before anyone accuses me of being there for cheating... let's be honest.
Laura Davis could beat Taryn Weller blindfolded. I just like to watch a
master at her craft. And right after the bell rings, Davis locks Weller
in an armbar, then drives her into the mat. She wrenches the arm,
twisting it almost like a pretzel, but Weller grabs the bottom rope to
force a break. Weller charges and catches Davis by surprise with a
kneelift, knocking the champ into the corner. Weller Irish whips Davis
into the opposite corner, then charges in- and the Champion sidesteps,
causing Weller to miss with her kneelift. Davis takes Weller over with a
Dragon Screw Legwhip, and you can tell the match is over. Davis stalks
over Weller, and Taryn tries to fire off a couple of shots, but the fight
is out of her. Laura hits a textbook tombstone piledriver, and instead
of covering for the pin, locks in the Heel Hook. Taryn makes the
smartest move of her life and taps out before she gets injured.

* WINNER: At 3:06, and STILL champion, Laura Davis.

* Fantastic match. The champ shows everyone why she's the best wrestler
in the UWF today.

* More highlights of Saturday Night Rampage, including my favorite moment
of the year so far:
============================================================
[The referee tries to order Scottie away, but Taylor MacKenzie rolls into
the ring, grabs the referee by the back of the shirt, and throws him out
of the ring. Scottie picks up the unresisting Nikki and shoves the
folded up chair under her chin. She holds the chair with one arm and
locks Nikki in a headlock with the other. Scottie backs up to the
corner.]

DR: Scottie's not going to-

[Charging out, Scottie runs two steps out of the corner and leaps out,
bulldogging Nikki the Cat so the chair hits the mat- and crashes right
into Nikki's jaw.



...



...



...]

AM: NO!

[Nikki rolls around the mat, clutching her mouth with muffled screams of
pain, as Scottie gets back up. Taylor MacKenzie stands to the side,
admiring Scottie's handiwork. The two share a fistbump, then point a
finger upwards at Laura Davis, who sits in her luxury suite, nodding with
respect. The crowd, on the other hand, doesn't have any respect for the
massacre as the boos rain down.]
============================================================

* After all of the comments and agony that Nikki the Cat has caused me-
while a certain fanbase slobbered themselves over her idiotic remarks-
all I can say is: That. Felt. Good.

* Check that- one more comment. Summer, listen to me. I get it. You
want to be the hero. You want to hear the cheers. But understand- those
people cheering you? They'll cheer someone else next week. Popularity
is fleeting; Success is Permanent. You're one of the most talented
wrestlers in the UWF. You belong with wrestlers that are your equal.
You should be with Taylor and Laura and myself. You belong with Trinity.

* OK, enough of that. There's some commercials- are people really THAT
obsessed with McDonald's Shakes?- and then Moe talks about the history
between the Morningstars and the Insanity Society, before cutting to this
interview with the Morningstar's opponents, the Gunslingers:
============================================================

[Cut to the UWF interview backdrop, at which stands a couple of rough and
tumble cowboys dressed for combat in bluejeans, cowboy boots, Stetson
hats and bandanas tied around their necks. These are the Gunslingers,
and this is go time.]

"Cowboy" Roy Sloane: Ah, now this is more like it! No rules, notta thing
standin' in the way of introducin' these two fists to some faces tonight.
Mornin'stars, you boys are in fer a mess of trouble!

[Sloane slams his left fist into his right palm to emphasize his point.]

Tex Thomas: Yer still flapping yer gums like the big tough guy, but
what'd it getcha last time? Nothin'!

CRS: I didn't see you gettin' the job done against the big fire breathin'
one either, so knock it off!

TT: Eh, we both got some room fer improvement I guess. Whozit tonight
again?

CRS: [practically spitting out the names] Mornin'stars. Not sure if
they're a couple a' ninjas or whatever.

TT: Those're throwin' stars, lunkhead. Mornin'stars... ain't those the
fellas who keep talkin' about bein' somebody? And talkin'? And talkin'?

CRS: Well, I think they tried ta prove a point against one of the champs
last show. Any way it goes, we get ta pound on them tonight and maybe
just maybe get our own shot at the champs. [thinks] I got the little one
who likes ta jump off stuff. You take the big one.

[Thomas turns to face his partner, who has a good four inches on him.]

TT: Yer all heart, ain'cha? [turns back to the camera] Boys! Scufflin'
ain't a problem for the gut bustin' beer swillin' West Texas Badboys.
Rules, no rules. Just bring yer carcasses ta the ring and we'll be
waitin' ta put the hurt on ya and send ya home to Mama Mornin'star.

CRS: Ya know, I hear she's the ugliest of 'em all.

[Fade.]
============================================================

* Morningstars vs. Gunslingers in a "Wild West Showdown". Both teams
have taped-up fists. The referee starts to explain that it's n
disqualifications and no countouts, but the Morningstars sneak attack the
Gunslingers while the referee is talking. The referee wisely bails as
the bell rings.

The bigger men on each team- Cain Morningstar and Cowboy Roy Sloane-
immediately trade punches, each one trying to knock the other down with a
haymaker. Meanwhile, Saul Morningstar and Tex Thomas roll outside the
ring and continue their fight. Thomas grabs Saul and whips him, but Saul
reverses the whip and Thomas crashes into the stairs. Sloane tackles
Cain and begins pummeling him, but Saul climbs up and leaps off with an
elbowdrop, catching Sloane on the back of his head. The Morningstars
pick up Sloane and deliver a double atomic drop, then Cain holds back
Roy's arms as Saul peppers Roy with a series of jabs.

Thomas re-enters the ring with the ring bell and clobbers Saul in the
back of his head, then throws him outside the ring. Cain tries to grab
Tex but Roy rakes his eyes, and now the Gunslingers are on the giving end
of the Double team. Sloane holds down Cain as Tex delivers a double
kneedrop, then the two pummel Saul. Saul reaches into the ropes and
pulls out Roy, slamming him head-first into the steel guardrail. Inside
the ring, Cain grabs Thomas by the throat and starts choking him out.
Saul rolls back into the ring and grabs the ring bell, but before he can
use it, Roy pulls Saul out of the ring and bodyslams him on the floor.
Thomas delivers a headbutt to break the chokehold, then rams Cain's head
into the turnbuckle several times.

Roy re-enters the ring and the Gunslingers deliver a double vertical
suplex to Cain. Thomas leaps off with a fistdrop, and covers Cain for a
two count. Tex holds up Cain and Roy delivers a big boot then covers for
a two count... Saul rolls under the ropes, grabs the ring bell, and tries
to crack it over Roy's head to break the count but Sloane sees him coming
and rolls away... And Saul nails his own brother with it! He turns
around and Tex drills him with the Yakuza From Hell as Roy again covers
Cain for the 1... 2... 3!!!!

WINNER: At 6:44, the Gunslingers

* A close match and a good brawl between both teams. Taped-Fists matches
aren't normally done in the UWF but both teams can brawl very well.

* Moe goes over this week's SNR. The New Alliance-RIOT six man war
should be excellent.
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