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| [bannedsycho] The Summer of Langseth; did ya miss us? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 8 2012, 06:13 AM (236 Views) | |
| sychosys | May 8 2012, 06:13 AM Post #1 |
This Space For Rent
  ![]](http://z5.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
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[A closeup shot of the AWA National Championship title belt, slowly rising up and down, is shown as an unseen person speaks.] Voice: The reports, of the death, of the AWA National Heavyweight Championship...were GREATLY exaggerated! [The camera pans back to reveal the location as a spartan, but well lit, locker room, with a well-dressed but completely disheveled Joe Petrow, standing beside the man with the championship belt draped over his shoulder, a bandaged, bruised, and deliriously happy Mark Langseth] JP: Did you really think that was the end of it? Did you really think that the most coveted prize in wrestling would simply disappear, just because some inbred hick that's drunk on power so decreed it? [Langseth lets out a laugh and nod at the "inbred hick" line.] JP: Well, all we need to do to refute that is show you the call history on my iPhone of every promoter in the world BEGGING to host the rightful and legitimate AWA National Champion in their territory! And tonight, Mark Langseth showed the world that the AWA National Championship has never been more ALIVE! ML: The AWA wanted to shut this belt down. The AWA wanted to shut Joe, Dave, and me out down. But tonight? Here, in - [The Hall of Famer pauses, checking with Petrow for a moment.] ML: Lewiston? Lewiston, Maine of all places... Royalty prevailed! [Langseth painfully and briefly holds up the National title.] ML: You see, I didn't just walk out of Fighting Spirit - a place that RESPECTS and HONORS men like us. I walked out, head held high... [Mark tries to straighten up to, in fact, hold his head high but his back's not going to allow him to do that. So, he resorts to just sticking his nose up instead.] ML: And STILL your ONLY GENUINE AWA CHAMPION! [The odd posture's too much to keep, though, as Langseth just sort of slumps over - definitely not the picture of a victorious man.] ML: And you know what? That felt good. It felt damned good. I mean, it's not every day you get to DOMINATE the bastard son of your enemy, right? Heh, and... You see, this? [Langseth taps the title and waves his arm around the locker room.] ML: The competition? The respect? The acknowledgement of my place in the wrestling world? That's all I wanted. That's ALL I ever wanted. And that backwater, bush league place will never realize it. So let 'em keep painting us the bad guy. Let them keep piling on Royalty - keep throwing Dave under the bus for just trying to work his LEGAL contract. Let them continue to try erase us... [Langseth chuckles.] ML: Cause no matter how hard those pigheaded hayseeds will try, they'll fail. And Royalty? We'll just keep moving... forward! JP: That's right! This man's issues were never about making the most money or having the most luxurious dressing room. All we wanted was the respect that this man, this LEGEND, has earned in his career. And that's why, out of all of the places in the world where the new champion could make his first defense, we chose this dinky little arena in Maine, over a thousand miles away from anyplace this belt has known before. Because Fighting Spirit may not have the most money, but their fans know and APPRECIATE greatness when they see it! And Mr. Langseth looked forward to giving something back to one of the young and hungry wrestlers looking to make a name for himself. Unfortunately, they couldn't keep that demon spawn chained up on his leash, but the punk needed to be taught a lesson anyway, and Professor Langseth SUCCESSFULLY DEFENDED this title, and left Ryan Martinez helpless in a pool of his own blood! Now despite what I just said, that doesn't mean that money and luxuries aren't important! We'll be getting plenty of those next, because Japan has opened its wallets for us! And no, it's not that backwards Tiger Paw Pro promotion, Papa Taguchi's playground for his son. We're going to the place where REAL wrestling takes place in Japan! We're going to EVOLUTION MINUS ONE! We're flying first class to LA! We're taking their PRIVATE JET to Tokyo! We're taking a HELICOPTER to the Presidential Suite at the Peninsula! And, after another successful title defense at the Budokan against whatever EMO wrestler is up to the challenge, I've arranged for the finest...er, "massage parlor", to release Mr. Langseth's tensions after a hard night's work! [Langseth offers a "You know how I like them!" aside to Petrow] JP: Yes, Mr. Langseth, I certainly do! And from there, so long as we hold onto this right here, [pats the title on Langseth's shoulder] the world is our oyster! So all of you other wrestlers out there have a choice. You can either be one of 64 men vying to be known as the best scab wrestler in the world...or you can lean on your promoter to bring in the best in the business, and test yourself against greatness personified, the AWA *INTER* National Champion! ML: You bring on anyone - ANYONE, ANYWHERE Joe! You set it up! I'm a FIGHTING champion! A real, true, LIVING LEGEND FIGHTING CHAMPION! [Langseth turns his head and points to the camera.] ML: I'll take 'em all! ANYONE and EVERYONE! |
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| Overly_Critical_Jue | May 8 2012, 03:11 PM Post #2 |
Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
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This angle is so confusing! 
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| StevieScott | May 8 2012, 09:16 PM Post #3 |
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...EVEN CHILDREN!
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When this goes bad for Royalty, I expect to have a scene with Mark Langseth looking to the heavens in anguish, clenched fists raised, and yelling... ML: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SUMMER OF LANGSEEEEEEEETTTTTTHHHHH! |
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"Destruction of Hell" start playing as Mason drop the mic and exit the ring as fans throw stuffs at him but he punch out most of the fans even children. | |
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| Overly_Critical_Jue | May 8 2012, 09:51 PM Post #4 |
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
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Will he accidentally kill Petrow by ordering envelopes with toxic glue? |
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| sychosys | May 8 2012, 11:00 PM Post #5 |
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This Space For Rent
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"Accidentally"? That was a cunning and devious plan! |
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| StevieScott | May 9 2012, 09:34 AM Post #6 |
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...EVEN CHILDREN!
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Then he will find unparalleled success by doing the opposite of his instincts. |
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"Destruction of Hell" start playing as Mason drop the mic and exit the ring as fans throw stuffs at him but he punch out most of the fans even children. | |
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| sychosys | May 9 2012, 04:09 PM Post #7 |
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This Space For Rent
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The moral of the story: if you want to increase audience participation, always include a Seinfeld reference. |
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| Overly_Critical_Jue | May 9 2012, 04:46 PM Post #8 |
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
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The Westwego Incident was just a play on that Seinfeld episode that went backwards, confirmed. |
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| blibblab | May 9 2012, 05:40 PM Post #9 |
Administrator
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#Believe it or not, Langseth isn’t in AWA.# #Please leave a message at the beep.# #I must be out, or I’d pick up the phone.# #Where could I be?# #Believe it or not, I’m not AWA!# |
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If a wholly Great One rules, the people hardly know that he exists. Lesser men are loved and praised, still lesser ones are feared, still lesser ones are despised. How thoughtful one must be in what one says! The work done, business takes its course, and all people think: "We are free." - Lao Tzu "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free." - Ronald Reagan "The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." - Thomas Jefferson | |
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11:34 AM Jul 13