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OLYMPICS DAY 3
Topic Started: Oct 17 2012, 03:17 PM (405 Views)
MBCKyle
Member Avatar
The Soda Dog Refreshment Squad
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]

[Scene opens to an empty bar with a stage. There is a small but very athletic looking Japanese woman with spiky pink hair setting up some decorations on the stage. She is wearing washed out blue jeans with pink sneakers, a white t-shirt with the image of Super Dimensional Fortress Macross icon Lynn Minmay on it, and a pink leather jacket on. Joshi historians and Girl Fight fans recognize her as the Vice-Captain of Team Love, Lotus Flower!]

LF: Everything is almost ready!

[With a joyous expression upon her face she sets up the microphone and a video screen and then grabs a remote control and hops off the stage and runs to a seat placed several feet away from the stage but facing it right in the middle. Flower raises a hand in the air.]

LF: Lights!

*DNK*

[The lights dim but we can still see Lotus' excited smile.]

LF: You ready?!

Female Voice Off screen: I told you that I was ready five minutes ago!

[Flower shakes her head.]

LF: Is that how you reply to your coach?

....

Female Voice Off screen: *sigh* Yes, sir!

[Smile!]

LF: Here we go!

[Suddenly spotlights flash on the stage as music begins to play! The curtains open and out walks a Caucasian woman with brown her that is down to her shoulders. She is dressed in a scandalously short white dress with pink ribbons as the straps and a big pink sash for a belt with a bow tied in the middle. She also is wearing pink gloves and tall pink boots and has some kind of sparkly pink gem looking ear rings! She's small chested, has sexy legs she's showing alot of thanks to the dress and nice hips and... Dear God.. As she steps up and grabs the microphone and watches the video screen, bathed in the spotlight, all viewers are shocked because this woman is someone very familiar.. STEPHANIE DELACROIX!]

SD: (singing) Stage lights flashing, the feeling's smashing, My heart and soul belong to you!

[She points at Lotus Flower who's face is hidden in the darkness to us now.]

SD: (singing) And I'm here now, singing... All bells are ringing..

[Delacroix does a bell ringing motion with her free hand.]

SD: (singing) My dream has finally come true!

[She does a twirling dance move and comes back to facing her coach!]

SD: (singing) Stage fright, go away! This is my big day. This is my time to be a star!

[Stephanie pumps a fist in the air.]

SD: (singing) And the thrill that I feel is really unreal. I can't believe I've come this faaarrrr!

[She does a Celine Dion-ish chest pound.]

SD: (singing) This is my time to be a star!

[Dance moves and then... Two finger victory pose!]

SD: ....

[The lights come up and we see Lotus Flower... WITH THE BIGGEST MARK OUT MANIA EXPRESSION UPON HER FACE.. clapping her hands wildly!]

LF: BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!

[Stephanie breaks the expression and scrunches her face.]

SD: You didn't tell me this dress was going to be so short!

[Flower raises an eyebrow.]

LF: Did you forget who is the coach here?

[Delacroix's eye twitches and then she lets loose a long sigh and then..]

SD: Excuse me, Sir.

LF: Yes?

SD: Why is my [MEEP]ING dress so [MEEP]ING short?!! You want everyone to see my panties?!!

LF: Tsk, tsk. Language, language.

SD: [MEEP]!

LF: Didn't you ask for me to be your karaoke coach?

SD: Yes.

LF: And would you say that I know a little something about karaoke?

SD: Everyone knows you are crazy about karaoke! You hold that Karaoke-Mania party every year!

LF: Not just that! I've won the All Asia Karaoke Championships Classic Anime Song competition FIVE times!

SD: ...

LF: AND... Twice I won the ALL AROUND competition!

[Delacroix rolls her eyes.]

SD: OK OK! You know what you are doing!

LF: ...

SD: Sir!

LF: That's better! Now just trust me, alright? The outfit is going to help you! You must become one with Lynn Minmay!

SD: One with Lynn Minmay.

LF: You're doing a good job so far! You've been working on your singing since twelve years ago..

[Stephanie flashes a cocky smile.]

SD: Why thank you, sir!

LF: You went from cat strangling to surpassing the great Reba West!

SD: I try my best.

LF: Your dance moves aren't at the same level as your singing but with just a few improvements and your Lynn Minmay outfit the combined visual bang will carry you past your dancing limitations. Though.. A bunny rabbit panty with a cotton tail to boost does not go with this outfit..

[Stephanie's face goes crimson!]

SD: Y-y-you c-can s-s-s-see..?!

[Lotus winks at her.]

LF: Don't worry! I'll help pick out something appropriate panty wise to really knock 'em dead!

[Delacroix mulls this over in her head.]

SD: Must they see my panties? Can't we like.. Make this [MEEP]ING DRESS [MEEP]ING LONGER?!!

[Flower shakes her head "No".]

LF: For the proper effect you must show the panties!

[Delacroix covers her face in despair.]

SD: [MEEP]!

LF: Enough of that!

SD: Yes, sir.

LF: Now, you have the voice down.. You have adequate dancing plus Minmay outfit combo in place... What you are lacking.. The secret ingredient that will be the difference between a place on the podium and tears from the dressing room is... Passion!

SD: Passion?!

LF: Yes! You must make us BELIEVE as you sing the random song you may or may not like or even know!

SD: How the [MEEP] do I do that?!

LF: Again.. Go back to Minmay.

SD: Minmay..

LF: Lynn is thinking of Hikaru..

SD: Rick Hunter!

LF: Hikaru Ichijyo.

SD: Yeah... Hikaru Ichijyo... (whispers) Rick Hunter..

LF: Think of your Hikaru...

SD: My Hikaru (whispers) Rick Hunter...

LF: Think of Pablo!

SD: Honey Bunny!

[Lotus Flower sits down in the chair, the lights begin dimming but the spotlight remains on Delacroix.]

LF: Visualize what he is doing right now!

[Stephanie closes her eyes and smiles.]

SD: OK.

LF: What is he doing?

SD: He is being coached in Monopoly.

LF: Excellent. Think of Pablo practicing Monopoly. Think of him as the next song comes on and sing to Pablo from your heart, no matter the song.

SD: Yes! Sing to my man!

LF: (whispering) Sing to your Hikaru!

[A soft ballad begins to play and Delacroix nods her head.]

SD: Sing to my Rick Hunter....

[She opens her eyes, now wet with emotion, and a tender smile crosses her face.]

SD: Sometimes I dream with open eyes... I dream of falling in love...

[Delacroix takes a deep breath and begins singing as we start to fade away but we hear her singing.]

SD: (singing) To be in love, must be the sweetest feeling that a girl can feel...

[We cut away, to the logo we go...]

=====================================
2012 BASTARD OLYMPICS
=====================================
DAY THREE - TESTS OF SOBRIETY - FINALS
=====================================

[The logo fades like my energy on Thursday nights when my wife watches shows on Bravo. Project Runway just kills me. Regardless, the energy is considerably higher back in Alabama, specifically the Olympic Control Center. Still and forever to be in one of the press boxes of the Grizzly Bryant War Memorial Stadium the control center hosts four individuals.]

Fiend Machine: Welcome back citizens of Styx to Day Three of Olympic Coverage. Joining me once again is the multi term Sheriff of Styx, Roy Beam.

RB: My friends call me Laser.

Pinhead: So you actually run for reelection.

RB: Affirmative.

Pinhead: And you’ve never lost?

RB: Nobody dares oppose me.

Pinhead: Why’s that?

RB: It’s illegal.

Slush: As much as you complain about how things are wrong here Pinhead, there are some things that are very right.

Pinhead: As often as I try to decry these things, I think it’s less and less that my words are falling on deaf ears. It’s more and more that I think my voice is dying.

Fiend Machine: …

RB: …

Slush: [Digs in his ear] …

[Pinhead sighs and buries his face in his hands.]

-------------------------------------------------------------
KARAOKE
-------------------------------------------------------------

Fiend Machine: Breaking news from Olympic officials. Despite putting forth a gold medal worth performance, judges have ruled Amber Rogers ineligible to medal in the karaoke competition.

Pinhead: They give a reason?

Fiend Machine: Two actually. To quote the report “her background as a paid professional singer and her decision to join up with that freak with the chicken.”

RB: Good solid reasoning. No controversy to be seen there.

Pinhead: Amber must be torn up.

Fiend Machine: Actually, she’s already issued a statement. She sees it as a compliment. She’s under the impression that the judges thought she was too good for this contest.

Pinhead: Only she could see it like that.

Fiend Machine: Today of course was the “Random Song Selection” portion of the competition. For an onsite report, we go to Nathan “Doom Broom” Cherry.

[The cameras go back to the Flavor Flav Music Hall where Nathan Cherry stands backstage ready to report. He’s got a pinky in his ear, either digging out some wax or trying to get rid of the ringing. Either way, his microphone is live.]

Doom Broom: And I said to him, “go lube yourself!”

Fiend Machine: Nathan, can you hear us?

Doom Broom: And he’s all like, “Thirty weight or twenty?”

Fiend Machine: NATHAN!

Doom Broom: Oh hey, we’re live. Why didn’t somebody signal me. Oh... you did? I just didn’t see it? Whatever. Go lube yourself.

Fiend Machine: Nathan, what can you tell us about how the Karaoke event wrapped up?

Doom Broom: It was mass chaos down here at Flavor Flav Music Hall. The final round started strong with an extremely emotional, or at least, what people thought was emotional, rendition of the classic "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler.

[The feed switches to the stage of the Music Hall. Elbitz [Fighting Spirit] stands on the stage and is handed the microphone. He takes the microphone in one hand, and places his megaphone to it with the other.]

Elbitz: #oh grow go row your boat!#

[The crowd doesn’t quite know what to do. Afterall, they were expecting the Divine Miss M.]

#hate mustard bean growing in rad-ish hole#
#tuna for calve some bite fourth place#

[Elbitz "swivels" his hips]

#jew wars on tent two clementine, splats away#
#blue monkeys squawk on step of mine??#

[The camera pans to see fellow Fighting Spirit Olympian Twinkletoes Tiwilliger just off stage, holding a lighter in the air. Twinkletoes brushes a tear from his eyes with the other hand.]

#glow eyes wanton with lots of porridge.#
#rile you burp the gun went all to mess.#
#a dutiful brace without wild game, oh so wrong#
#in screw tables the sign will hide airplane#

[The crowd, though confused at first has become mesmerized.]

Elbitz (shouting into his megaphone, at the top of his lungs.):

#stick jew never blow my gold deniro#
#hand under things I fish eyeball could see#
#frying canned pie is not illegal#
#cuz pooh on the window is not my thing#

[The feed cuts back to Nathan Cherty, who is again sticking his finger in his ear.]

Doom Broom: I think I shoved the earpiece in too far.

Fiend Machine: So Nathan, I take it Elbitz brought down the house?

Doom Broom: I don’t know. Does he live in a mobile home?

Fiend Machine: You know what, never mind. Who won?

Doom Broom: Well, Elbitz’s song secured him the Bronze medal, just narrowly edging out Mizuki Ozaki. She wasn’t happy at all. I’ve heard rumors of someone being shived afterwards. That may or may not have been one of the judges.

RB: Uncle Cross would be proud.

Doom Broom: Taylor MacKenzie thought she had the Gold medal wrapped up. Her random song turned out to be “Tom Sawyer” by Rush and she sung the Hell out of it.

Pinhead: She didn’t win?

Doom Broom: Well Stephanie Delacroix was still wearing that Lynn Minmay anime style dress and was crotch kicking anybody who was taking a peek at her underoos. So she wasn’t in a good mood. Then she got her random song selection.

DB: Being?

Doom Broom: “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’Roses. She started singing and then she got mad about the song. She starting cussing and throwing things. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone, man or woman, be so accurate with a steel chair at a distance of thirty yards.

Pinhead: So she channeled the spirit of Axl Rose?

Doom Broom: She got a standing ovation... which turned into a panic as she kept throwing things. But the judges loved it and gave her a perfect score.

-------------------------------------------------------------
2012 GOLD: Stephanie Delacroix [MBC-Alamo City]
2012 SILVER: Taylor MacKenzie [Trinity]
2012: BRONZE: Elbitz [Fighting Spirit]
-------------------------------------------------------------

Pinhead: Axl Rose must be a God here.

RB: He has the key to the city.

Pinhead: You gave him that honor?

RB: More like he stole it. And we want it back.

Slush: Can’t you have your ninja people steal it back?

RB: He doesn’t bath and... he’s kind of slippery.

[Fade in on a hotel room, richly furnished in a "Southern Gothic" flair. Wherever this hotel is, it's definitely NOT in the price bracket of Styx, Alabama. Lounging back in the iron frame bed and wearing a black silk robe with matching boxer shorts is a man of Mediterranean heritage. He can be described as ruggedly handsome at first glance, with dark eyes, wavy black hair pulled back into a neat ponytail and a well-groomed moustache and goatee.

However, there's a hint of disdain in his smile that could give one pause before becoming totally enamored with his good looks. He nods towards the minicam.]

NV: Buongiorno. [He speaks in a refined Italian accent.] I have been told that there are still a few poor, ignorant fools that are unaware of who I am. [An annoyed sigh escapes his lips.] I do not know why I have to be the one educating them, but Fighting Spirit has insisted upon it. So be it... I am the Visconte, Nico Villanova. [Nico sneers.] Yes, I am a TRUE noble -- and by God's right of my birth, that means I am better than you.

[The Visconte sits up, flexing his pecs.]

NV: Indeed, to WIN these Olympics, who else would Fighting Spirit beseech to represent them? Not that decrepit fossil Hans Von Tripp, nor that mongloid Ryan Martinez. And certainly NOT that whining petulant whelp Jakob Aitkins! [For a brief moment, Villanova's expression holds a dark snarl. He then suddenly smooths back a stray strand of hair as a smile pops back up on his face.] No, no, no...they turn to the Visconte -- they turn to VICTORY!

[Nico nods, smugness clear on his face.]

NV: I will admit, I do feel some reluctance about these games. Not that I fear losing -- far from it! No, it is because these games are taking place in the American South, which as anyone can tell you is a cesspool of willful ignorance and inbreeding. Even by the low standards of America, the South is...degenerate. But I have also heard that this Styx is a bright exception. An oasis of intelligence that would dearly APPRECIATE the talents and tactics of the Villanova!

[Grinning eagerly, the vainglorious Venetian rises from the bed, casting off his robe to show off his admittedly magnificent body.]

NV: Soon Styx -- and the rest of the world -- will BASK IN THE FULL GLORY of Nico Villanova!

-------------------------------------------------------------
GO FISH
-------------------------------------------------------------

[The video feeds heads straight to the official Go Fish venue, the smoky room with the bright spotlight and gallery to surround it. The men in fine hats still run through the crowd taking bets. Meanwhile, from a distance the sharply dress Mister Halliburton watches... and waits.]

Fiend Machine: The medal round of Go Fish saw its first elimination come quickly.

[The first highlight shows Michiko [PGE] leaning to the official as she pointed to Liam Donavon [HoD]. Liam’s person was searched and extra cards were found in his pocket. Though he obviously cheated the day before, the cards looked to be not his own. Michiko smiles, leaving some to believe that she planted them.]

Fiend Machine: Once Liam was removed from the competition, it took quite a while for the next elimination to come. Both Harper and Michiko found themselves unlikely allies as they targeted Queen Holly. Once Blake Rogers and Chris Choisnet smelled blood in the water, they joined in.

[The next highlight shows Holly’s elimination and her rather ungraceful exit condemning all of her fellow Go Fish players. Still, she exited the gallery with style, leaving the Styxian crowd to give her a standing ovation.]

Fiend Machine: Thanks to her stealthy play Michiko clinched the Gold medal early...

Pinhead: Excuse me, if you know she cheated why was she allowed to keep the damn medal?

RB: If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.

Pinhead: That doesn’t answer the question.

Fiend Machine: It’s only cheating if you get caught.

Pinhead: And I guess Michiko was smooth enough to not get caught?

Fiend Machine: Not by the officials at least. Blake Rogers was the next to be eliminated thanks to Harper catching him on an unfinished book of Kings. The game came down to Choisnet getting the last three books in a row to put him ahead of Harper for the silver medal.

-------------------------------------------------------------
2012 GOLD: Michiko [PGE]
2012 SILVER: Chris Choisnet [AWA]
2012 BRONZE: Stephanie Harper [MBC-Lone Star]
-------------------------------------------------------------

Pinhead: You know, the rules on cheating are very inconsistent. Like... major plot hole bad.

RB: We bend them to our convenience.

Pinhead: I guess I don’t see how it’s convenient for you.

RB: Never underestimate the value of happy Asian women.

Pinhead: God’s honest truth, I don’t understand what you just said.

Slush: You’re talking about God a lot Pinhead. You plan on meeting him soon?

Pinhead: It almost seems inevitable.

Slush: LET THE SUICIDE WATCH BEGIN! I’ll get the cheetohs.

Pinhead: [Sigh]

Slush: Are those made out of real cheetahs?

[The camera fades in... and it's a hand-held camera, looking down at a binder. The cover reads 'MBC Olympics', and shows a picture of Tinkle wearing a gold medal. After a moment, the camera moves spins around, and the screen is filled with the face and body of Scottie Saratoga, member of UWF's heel stable and recapper of UWF TNT. Scottie is a medium-sized woman who wears her brown hair in a ponytail, overalls, and tattoos covering both of her arms.]

SS: So... the MBC. I've always liked the league because it's not full of itself. Well... the league isn't. Some of the wrestlers are, and need to be knocked down to size. But that's all right. Taylor MacKenzie- you remember Taylor? Former #1 contender, should have been MBC Champion? She's given Laura and me the lowdown on the league. Now, we're not here to invade the league- after all, the league is still being put together- but they've invited us for their form of Olympics. And dominating those games seems like an offer too good to refuse.

[The camera turns around, back to the binder, and Scottie opens up the binder.]

SS: But which events? 'Karaoke'... nah. I'm not a singer, and Taylor wants to defend her crown. 'Go Fish'? Haven't played in years. 'Magic: The Gathering'? I don't think anyone can beat the unstoppable force of Scud. 'Survivor'?

[A pause]

SS: Outwit, Outlast, Outplay? Yeah... I can see that. I'm in.

[The camera turns back around to see Scottie's face]

SS: Let's face it, I can make a gold medal look good.

[One last pause]

SS: But I can make two gold medals look even better.

[The camera phone fades to grey.]

-------------------------------------------------------------
MBC SURVIVOR
-------------------------------------------------------------

[The video shows a dark encampment. At its center is the only source of light, a large fire. Around it sit six individuals: Felicity Malone [Bastard Underground] , Nico Villanova [Fighting Spirit], Scottie Saratoga [Trinity], Hitomi Shimizu [PGE], Kayla Livingstone [Independent], and Tommy Jackson [Insanity Society]. One by one, the wrestlers are shown casting their votes meant to eliminate two of the Survivors.]

Fiend Machine: Tribal Council was quite heated as Nico Villanova and Scottie Saratoga got into a rather heated shouting match. Despite this, every contestant received a single vote, leaving no one with a majority of votes to be eliminated. A last minute ruling established that all six would be allowed to compete the next day. That is... if they survived the night.

[Suddenly, the video quality takes a green hue as we switch to night vision. We see Felicity Malone on top of somebody, beating the holy living crap out of them.]

Fiend Machine: The tribal members were visited by the Ghost of the Trashman. Unfortunately for Alonzo Carter, Felicity Malone is a light sleeper.

[Back to the next day where a new starting line is drawn...

...in front of a carnival funhouse.]

Fiend Machine: The obstacle course took a different route the next day, this time through a fun house built courtesy of the Styx Carnival. The most notable feature of House was the Hall of Mirrors. Nico Villanova was the last to come out of the funhouse, and just in time as the doors were set on a timer.

[Security cam style footage from inside the funhouse shows Nico Villanova checking himself out in a mirror.]

Fiend Machine: After the fun house came the log roll. The six contestants were paired up and set to face off against one another. One didn’t necessarily have to outlast their direct opponent, but once three of them were eliminated the event would move on to the next round.

[And just as James Tempo described there are six logs with a competitor atop them. Tommy Jackson faces Felicity Malone. Scottie Saratoga faces Nico Villanova, and Hitomi Shimizu faces Kayla Livingstone.]

Fiend Machine: Amazingly, the contestants managed to go quite a while on the log roll. But slowly the speed of the logs increased. A simple offhand remark from Hitomi restarted the argument between Nico Villanova and Saratoga. This time, the argument met a conclusion.

[Somehow while maintaining great balance, Scottie punches Villanova straight in the nuts, sending him right into the murky water below.]

Fiend Machine: And with everyone else distracted Hitomi shoved Kayla Livingstone off her log, eliminating her in quick order.

[Hitomi smiles wickedly but not for long as she eyes her next target. Tommy Jackson looked to be the next target as she above all others seemed most at home with a log roll. She tried to shove the tomboy into the water but Jackson dodged the move, causing Hitomi to fall forward.]

Fiend Machine: And like that, it was down to Malone, Saratoga and Jackson.

[The three aforementioned ladies are then shown in a foot race through a combination of all the previous obstacles. Mud, gators, mirrors, ninjas, druids, dogs, dragons and any other random item is shoved into this mish mash of insanity with each element trying to slow the contestants down.]

Fiend Machine: Tommy Jackson got the early lead in the final race, apparently at home with this sort of thing. Malone and Saratoga got punchy, trying to beat each other senseless. Saratoga got the final trip up to secure her the silver but Mounties were on hand to keep the two ladies separated from further violence.

-------------------------------------------------------------
2012 Gold: Tommy Jackson [Insanity Society]
2012 Silver: Scotty Saratoga [Trinity]
2012 Bronze: Felicity Malone [Bastard Underground]
-------------------------------------------------------------

Slush: So, where are your Mounties?

RB: How do you mean?

Slush: I remember them being like roaches. Everywhere.

RB: Well.. the lights are on. You only see them in the cover of darkness.

Slush: So your Mounties are ninjas?

RB: And pirates and robots and zombies... we cover the whole gamut of generic villain group.

Pinhead: So you’re saying you’re a villain?

RB: To defeat one’s enemy, you must think like them.

Pinhead: So you’re admitting to thinking like a villain?

RB: What are you getting at?

Pinhead: Nothing. Just seeing how long I can push this till someone’s head explodes.

Fiend Machine: How about we watch this and see if said head explodes.

(Scene: What looks to be a small apartment with light green colored walls, and gray carpet on the floors. In the center of the picture is a white backdrop, with the barely legible words "Basturd Oylimpikz" scrawled at the top of the backdrop in black marker. In front of the backdrop stands an elderly asian man in a blue sequin jumpsuit, missing most of its sequins. The elderly man also wears a less than convincing pompadour toupee. The man has what looks to be a megaphone in his hand. He puts the megaphone to his mouth and begins to speak.)

Old Asian Man: Me Elbitz, the kinky whack a mole! I sink a sunk forth ewe.

Elbitz (tries to swivel his hips as he sings):

Your taint nutty butter hand job
Climbing up a vine
You taint nutty butter man blob
Sliming on the dime

Well hue navel kill a rabbi
and you anus fill with brine

(Elbitz bows after his "performance")

Elbitz: Peas ranting Da Klingon da Goober Paste. Tinkle hose Two wally nuts!

(Were not sure what Elbitz just said but apparently it was an introduction for a really really REALLY fat man. Into the frame walks a large bald man in a brown suit and trousers that are at least seven sizes too small for him. Fat hangs out in multiple flabs over his jacket and trousers. The man shakes the hand of Elbitz. As Elbitz leaves the frame the large man begins to speak)

Fat Man: Hello Twinkies, its me you're pal, your hero, your reason to get out of bed in spite of your miserable existences, Twinkletoes Tiwilliger. To those who don't know me, although i can't see why that
would be, I wrestle in a promotion called Fighting Spirit. Fighting Spirit is the only company worthy to call itself a wrestling promotion, because of the presence of yours truly. All of those other so called
wrestling promotions are filled with out of shape fat slobs who call themselves athletes. They don't have the endurance, the determination, or the skill possessed by me, The King of the Cruiserweights. I dare say nobody has the grace, the talent or the physique you see here before you.

(The incomparable physique of Twinkletoes looks ready to burst the seams of the suit that is valiantly trying to hold it in)

Twinkletoes Tiwilliger (TT): I am the greatest high flyer in the world today, and i make any company i compete in the only company worth anyones attention. Thats not a bold claim that's just a fact. Now i get
to prove that fact to the world and to the entire business at the Bastard Olympics. You are looking at the The Greatest Show Above the Earth, The Ultimate Underdog and Leader of the Twinkletoed Nation. I am
the best little man in the business today. As the best i'm here to challenge the best of the rest. I will out wrestle and out hustle everybody you put up against me!

(Elbitz walks back into frame. He taps Twinkletoes on the shoulder)

Elbitz: Twiggy, Deer whiz nose rustling.

TT: No wrestling? What do you mean this isn't wrestling!?! I took part in this because i thought i had the chance to show the entire industry the breathtaking, gravity defying show of aerial grace and pure technique that is a Twinkletoes Tiwilliger match! What is going on at this event anyway?

(Elbitz whispers in his ear)

TT: Drunken what? Lawn Darts, that stuff is dangerous I didn't sign up for that! Keg rolling, beer? What about the young impressionable Twinkies who look up to me as their inspiration and moral compass? Count me out i'm boycotting these games!

(Eblitz whispers in his ear again)

TT: Monopoly? Yes! I rule at Monopoly, give me that little race car game piece and nobody can stand against me! I'll show you no talents how the game is played. Park Place and the railroads are as good as mine! C'mon Elbitz were going to the Bastard Olympics. Twinkie Power!!!

(Twinkletoes Tiwilliger raises his arms in the air allowing us to see that that armpits of his suit have torn and large sweat stains run from the armpits down either side of his jacket. Both Twinkletoes and Elbitz exit the frame. Fade to black.)

Slush: So.... will he explode if he keeps eating chicken?

Pinhead: He’s listed as... a cruiserweight.

RB: He’s the Spruce Goose of the high flyers.

Pinhead: You realize that thing only flew for all of five seconds.

RB: It’s no fun when you explain my references.

Pinhead: I’m just amazed you could make one.

Fiend Machine: Speaking of amazing...

[The scene opens up to a shot inside the Perfect Girl Evolution stronghold, setup somewhere on the outer edges of town. There, we see Miyuki Ozaki seated atop the shoulders of Kiyomi, with her brow furrowed deep in contemplation. The bleach blonde beauty's thoughts are then interrupted by Ayako and a frantic(even more than usual) Yumi, who waves a slip of paper excitedly in the air.]

Yumi: (Miyuki! Miyuki! We found it! We actually found it!)

[Miyuki leaps off Kiyomi's shoulders and approaches the girls with an annoyed look on her face.]

Miyuki: (You've found...what?)

Ayako: (IT.)

[Miyuki raises an eyebrow.]

Miyuki: (How?)

Ayako: (In Parts Unknown...they...)

[Ayako frowns, not really knowing how to explain this.]

Ayako: (Well, I think I've accidentally formed a cult of misguided people that worship me.)

Miyuki: ("Accidentally?")

Ayako: (When I first got there, they all looked just so lost and alone...like they needed someone to guide or lead them. I'm not exactly the best role model or leader, but I just thought to myself..."What would Miyuki do?" And ummm...yeah. Anyhow, from their numbers, I was able to make a pretty vast spy network.)

Miyuki: (And this information is...credible?)

[Enthusiastically, Yumi waves the paper in Miyuki's face.]

Yumi: (It is! It is! I thought it was a big hoax too, like all those times before with the fake body doubles, but then one Ayako's spies had photographic evidence and surveillance film and intra-red heat signatures and nightvision goggles and DNA testing and everything! And now...we found it! We finally found it!
Ohmygoshohmygoshthisissoexciti
ngohmygosh...)

[Yumi jumps around anxiously, holding the slip of paper. Miyuki frowns at her over-energetic charge, before taking the paper from her hand. She unfolds it and reads, her eyes opening wide in astonishment as she
does so.]

Miyuki: (I don't believe it...you actually FOUND it.)

[A big smile forms on Miyuki's face, as she places her hand over her mouth and throws her head back, laughing like an evil anime villainess.]

Miyuki: OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!

[The girls all recognize that laugh. It's the laugh reserved for complete and total victory. A laugh that Miyuki would not otherwise use, unless...]

Tomoko: (HOLY COW! WE'VE FOUND THE BOOK!!!)

[Almost immediately, Miyuki clasps a hand around Tomoko's mouth. She leans in close, speaking in hushed tones.]

Miyuki: (What the hell is wrong with you, Tomoko? Do you want the entire Hand of Doom after us? If news of this gets out, we're going to be inconvenienced AT LEAST five or ten minutes if we have to battle our way out of town. Do you think I have time to just drop everything and beat Crimson into a coma with a stiletto heel? So if anyone asks...no, we most certainly have NOT found the secret location of the Bastardnomicon...got it?)

[Tomoko slowly nods her head, as Miyuki removes her hand from her mouth.]

Miyuki: (Now then. Ladies, we need to make immediate plans to retrieve the book-...)

[We then suddenly see Michiko and HANA bursting onto the scene, even MORE excited than Ayako and Yumi were.]

Miyuki: (If it's about the book, forget it. We already know where it's located.)

HANA: (What? NO! The hell with that stupid book...this is WAY more important. It's about the next event...)

[Miyuki waves her hand dismissively.]

Miyuki: (Forget about it, Hana...the key to complete and ultimate power over the entire MBC is within our grasp. Our Bastard Olympics is over. We have to...)

[Suddenly, Michiko blurts it out.]

Michiko: (IT'S MONOPOLY!)

[And just like that...the mood suddenly changes swiftly. Completely. Eight Japanese girls suddenly get very, VERY grim looks on their faces. Each reach into their clothing and then hold up a keychain...

...with a Monopoly piece attached to it.

Yumi. The racecar.

HANA. The battleship.

Kiyomi. The cannon.

Tomoko. The dog.

Michiko. The wheelbarrow.

Hitomi. The money bag.

Ayako. The thimble.

Miyuki. The top hat.]

Miyuki: (A change in plans, ladies. I think we can all agree that we can forget about the book for now. THIS is where the true fate of the world will be decided.)

[A fierce look of determination forms on her face.]

Miyuki: (We are the fire that burns out the rot. We are the flame that cures the wound. This victory SHALL be ours.)

[And with that, a guttural cry from eight voices filled the air and the participants of the Bastard Olympics truly then...knew fear.]

"MONOPOLY!!!!!!!!!"

[Fade out.]

Slush: So are they going to merge together and form Voltron? Or Captain Planet?

Fiend Machine: Too many of them.

RB: Could be like the car version.

Slush: Or the planned third version.

Fiend Machine: There was going to be a third?

Slush: A very cerebral version. Loneliness, sadness, self-loathing, rage and narcissism merge together to form....

RB: Woody Allen? A Khardasian?

Slush: Eh, close enough.

Pinhead: …

Slush: Why so silent?

Pinhead: If they know where the book is...

Slush: Then maybe we can go home. Do you really have to care about it that much?

[Scene opens to a very well furnished kitchen in a very luxurious looking home. We focus on a small table in the kitchen where a game of Monopoly is happening. There are two men playing. One of them is very familiar and has a familiar angry looking expression on his face. Indeed, it is the "Up All Night" Pablo O'Connor!]

POC: I [MEEP]ing hate Boardwalk!

[The Texan grumbles as he goes through his Monopoly money and hands some of it to the other guy.]

POC: Toma!

[The other man, takes it with a very happy smile on his face. If one were an old school NEO fan or watched HUGE in its last run they would very much find this man familiar because it is the very first NEO Pacific Champion there ever was and one of Pablo's cousins from Spain: Amuro Balsa!]

AB: It is so nice to spend time with you again, primo! Kee would have come if not for mi hijo, Francisco, being sick.

[Pablo rolls his eyes.]

POC: What a shame I am not besieged by your kids trying to make a mess of my expensive and beautiful home!

AB: Ha Ha Ha! You have always been so funny, primo!

[O'Connor's right eye twitches.]

AB: I wish Antonio could have at least made the trip here..

POC: Not that again!

AB: But, primo, you HAVE to see this kid!

POC: No, I don't!

AB: He has so much promise! Have you seen his work?

[Pablo glares at his cousin.]

POC: OY! I didn't ask you down here to talk about your kids or that Morientes kid you are so high on!

AB: But he has so much promise!

POC: We. Are. Here. To. Play. Monopoly. MONOPOLY!

[Amuro gives his cousin a blank eyed stare.]

AB: ... Isn't that what we're doing?

POC: No! You're talking about your kids and some kid who could never lace my boots for the life of him! Listen here, primo...

AB: Ok.

POC: I need to practice this Monopoly stuff because I am going to compete in it for a medal at the Mighty Bastard Championship Olympics and..

[Pablo watches his cousin's face as he seems to be confused at what the hell the Up All Night is talking about.]

POC: You know what? [MEEP] it!

[Pablo gets up and throws his Monopoly money at his cousin who is a bit startled.]

POC: [MEEP] this [MEEP] and [MEEP] this [MEEP] [MEEP] [MEEP]!!!

[O'Connor throws his properties up in the air then sits back down and lets out a long frustrated sigh. Balsa blinks his eyes for a while then looks concerned.]

AB: Primo, is something the matter?

POC: [MEEP]!

AB: You seem so stressed out by something! Are you and Stephanie having problems?

[Pablo shoots Amuro a dirty look.]

POC: We aren't having any problems! That is like the third time you've asked me that!

AB: But, I am just concerned because I do not see her here!

[Pablo shakes his head.]

POC: She's training.

AB: Training?

POC: Si!

[O'Connor looks down at his watch.]

POC: She should be finished with her karaoke training and going to her daily Pong training.

AB: Pong? Like ping pong?

POC: Sort of.. It's an old, old video game.

AB: She.. She needs training for this?

POC: Yes, man! Noa Kagoma, do you know her?

AB: Ah.. Was she the Mothra woman?

POC: Years ago, yes. She was Mosura Hitomi. She hasn't worn the mask since 2000.

AB: Si, si.

POC: She's training Stephanie in Pong.

AB: I have never heard of a videogame that requires training, primo.

POC: Well.. Stephanie has her heart set on winning a medal at this deal we're competing in. So she's training at all her competitions to help her chances.

AB: Is Mosura Hitomi qualified to train her in such things?

POC: Noa is a seven time All Asia Pong Champion.

AB: Woah!

[Pablo nods his head.]

POC: It is serious business.

AB: So.. You're both competing in some kind of Olympics?

POC: Si.

AB: Like a Special Olym-

POC: NO! Do NOT [MEEP]ing call it [MEEP]ing that!!

*SLAM*

[Pablo slams his fist on the table.]

POC: It's the MIGHTY BASTARD CHAMPIONSHIP OLYMPICS!

[Amuro is taken aback.]

AB: What is this Mighty Bastard thing?

POC: Mighty Bastard Championship, MBC in short, is THE most Texan thing in all of pro wrestling history!

AB: Oh.. K....

[O'Connor's eye twitches again.]

POC: It's important to us, OK?! I've been wanting to get involved in MBC for.. Forever! Now I'm in it and I am not only in this Olympics deal coming up I am also going to compete in the Bastardship of the Ring tournament!

AB: It sounds like you should be HAPPY, primo! But you seem so... Angry!

[Pablo sighs.]

POC: I'm frustrated.

AB: Por que?

POC: Because I am getting to participate in a MBC tradition and I am SUPER Psyched about that but... My rivals...

AB: Your rivals?

[Pablo nods.]

POC: The others who have also qualified for the Bastardship of the Ring tournament.. They're going to be there, Amuro. And I am torn... TORN!

AB: Por que?! What does it matter if they are there?

POC: Don't you see?! It's my chance to take a crack at injuring each and every one of them!

AB: Oh no..

POC: Which would help me stack the odds in MY favor in this tournament! If I systematically injure my rivals on the road to Dallas then the chances to be the last one left standing jump up dramatically!

AB: Primo! Why must you always look to take the short cuts? Why always the cheating?

[Pablo smirks at his cousin.]

POC: Because I want it all!

[O'Connor waves his hands in the air.]

POC: I WANT IT ALL! If I wan the Bastardship of the Ring, primo, I get EVERYTHING! Everything will be unified into the ONE glory and it would be mine!

[Pablo turns his greedy eyes down at the Monopoly board and he grabs it and lifts the gameboard up in the air.]

POC: ALL MINE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Amuro looks at his cousin as if he had two heads.]

AB: .. So sad!

[The Up All Night shoots his cousin a glare as he sets the game back down.]

POC: What do you know? You won ONE thing in your life then hurt your arm and quit to run your Father in Law's business! Pssh! I won World Championships! World tag team Championships! TV Championships! I won the ONE and ONLY Two Hundred Man Rumble IN THE HISTORY OF THIS BUSINESS! ME! Not any name you want to pick out of the legends hat! You won't see Brody Thunder and Simon O'Neal posing next to the Toad Trophy. ONLY ME! And just as I am the ONLY Bad Mamma Jamma around to hold that honor I am going to be the [MEEP]ER to claim the BASTARDSHIP OF THE [MEEP]ING RING!

[Pablo sighs sadly.]

POC: But I really want one of those [MEEP]ing medals too!

[He runs his hands through his hair in frustration then looks up at his cousin with anguished eyes.]

POC: Do I crush and smite my rivals to help my chances to be THE one and only left standing in Dallas or.. Do I win a medal? Can I do it both? GAAHHH! I am so torn!

[Balsa shakes his head sadly.]

AB: So sad.

POC: Callate! You are making me lose focus!

AB: Me?!

POC: Si! Tu! Let's play this Monopoly til tears are pouring from our eyes! Tears of satisfaction and glorious victory!

AB: No se. I am not sure I want to help you do evil, even if you are my cousin.

[Pablo smirks.]

POC: I guess you don't want any more Mahou cerveza or any of the imported riches in my refridgerator anymore.

[Amuro's eyes grow wide and he rubs his stomach.]

AB: I guess one can make an exception, especially for family!

[Pablo nods his head with a smirk then he reaches into a cooler and pulls out two cans of Mahou and hands one to his cousin. They open them and hold up for a toast.]

AB: To family, good health, Espana and happiness!

*CLNG*

[They knock the cans together and Pablo leans forward.]

POC: And to being THE Bastard of BASTARDS when all is said and done!

[Amuro shrugs and then they drink and then go back to playing as the scene fades out.]

-------------------------------------------------------------
MBC MONOPOLY
-------------------------------------------------------------

[Back in the Monopoly gallery, the final round consists of a single table. To guarantee fairness, a neutral banker has been assigned from the Bank of Styx. I’d suggest keeping your Monopoly money under your mattress… a safer bet in all honesty.]

Fiend Machine: The top money winners from the first round were gathered for the final push to the medal. Top winner Miyuki Ozaki gained an early lead by absorbing all the assets from fellow PGE member Yumi, leaving Yumi to be the first to be eliminated.

[Yumi is shown landing on the Miyuki owned St. James Place and thanks to a deal made earlier in the game, loses all her assets.]

Fiend Machine: Pablo O’Connor, Matt Ginn and Tony Beaumont tried to form an alliance to counter the moves by Miyuki but the distraction of Twinkletoes Tiwilliger kept the tandem from finding solid footing.

Pinhead: How did O’Connor get back into this?
Fiend Machine: The “Get Out of Jail” card took on new meaning in the first round…

[There’s no proper way to describe how Twinkletoes could unleash small focuses burps and direct them at his opponents. But that’s exactly what he did. Some were very “shock and awe,” Others were more “silent but deadly.”]

Fiend Machine: Incredibly enough, Ozaki had a gas mask in her trench coat and was immune to Twinkletoe’s chemical warfare. Also immune was Scottie Saratoga, who was playing remotely from Alonzo Carter Island.

[Visibly by a monitor, Scottie was covered in the muck of the water she had fallen in previously. But her steely gaze at Miyuki gave away her desire to take down the leader of Perfect Girl Evolution.]

Fiend Machine: Well after Beaumont, O’Connor, and Ginn were bankrupted, Twinkletoes sat back and watched as Ozaki and Saratoga went to war like Coca-cola and Pepsi.

Slush: Royal Cola bitches!

Fiend Machine: Ozaki’s final masterful stroke came when she convinced Tiwilliger to sell her all of his assets in exchange for a date with one of the PGE girls of her choosing. Tiwilliger agreed and soon, there was no spot Saratoga could land on that didn’t cost her an arm and a leg.

-------------------------------------------------------------
2012 Gold: Miyuki Ozaki [PGE]
2012 Silver: Twinkletoes Tiwilliger [Fighting Spirit]
2012 Bronze: Scottie Saratoga [Trinity]
-------------------------------------------------------------

Slush: Damnit! Who knew I could get a date with a PGE girl for so little?

Pinhead: A date that could end with you in traction.

Slush: True... but I’m sure they have safe words. Right? Right?

Fiend Machine: I hear that Scottie did some damage to the camera equipment on her side. She wasn’t pleased that Ozaki effectively sold one of her girls into prostitution in order to win.

Slush: I’m sure Scottie could negotiate a date if she wanted one. I hear Park Avenue with four hotels is nice this time of year.

-------------------------------------------------------------
WORLD OF WARCRAFT
-------------------------------------------------------------

Fiend Machine: So the results from the Guild Masters of STFU are in.

RB: There are no winners in this. Except those who exploit the poor pitiful souls who are trapped by this scourge of technology.

Slush: Chinese Gold Farmers?

[Gameplay footage is shown with various characters played by the contestants. Below each avatar is the Olympian’s name. First is a Human hunter played by Matt Ginn [AWA] and fighting a batch of rabid bears. Then a pair of Dwarven warriors played by Liam and Cormac Donavon are shown riding the underground tram. Then a gnome mage played by Dino Takada [ASLL] flashes across the screen, running from a huge aggroed mob in a low level dungeon.]

Fiend Machine: The judges awarded the bronze medal to Andrew Davis from the Devils You Know: Bastard Edition. Not only did they feel he played the game well, he was also the type of celebrity that would fit well in Warcraft’s celebrity player commercials. While Davis isn’t exactly the type to punch a shark like Chuck Norris, his Hollywood persona would bring more players.

Slush: I smell buy off.

[Next to be shown is a rampaging Blood Elf death knight, killing all in her path on a PVP map. Her skills are beyond L33T.]

Fiend Machine. The silver went to PGE’s Michiko. Though it was quite obvious that she managed to hack the server...

[Michiko’s guild name is “I Hack Servers Bitches!”]

Fiend Machine: …the Guild Masters felt her play was beyond reproach. However, not enough to top the Gold Medal winner.

Pinhead: Who if I may ask?

Fiend Machine: Ryu Osawa.

Slush: What did he do?

Fiend Machine: He... played a Night Elf, took off all her clothes and had her dance in one of the main cities.

Pinhead: Seriously? That’s all he had to do?

Fiend Machine: Let’s take a look at our judges to refresh your memory.

[A quick shot to the so called “judges.” once again.’ There are still five of them in total, gathered around that same computer monitor in a dark room. Still smiling, still hypnotized.]

Judge #1: Huhhu... boobs.. huh huhuh

All Judges: Boooobs!

[And back to the control center.]

Pinhead: We do nothing to help the stereotype of MMO players.

Slush: One must help themselves before asking for help for themselves.

Pinhead: That’s oddly... profound.

Slush: Man... look at that night elf bitch dance...

-------------------------------------------------------------
2012 Gold: Ryu Osawa [CoB]
2012 Silver: Michiko [PGE]
2013 Bronze: Andrew Davis [Devils You Know: Bastard Edition]
-------------------------------------------------------------

Slush: So the man with the cock won with boobs.

RB: Poetic if not disgusting.

Pinhead: Here’s a question. Will any of this matter in a few years?

Fiend Machine: How do you mean?

Pinhead: Who will proudly display their Bastard Olympic Medals in years to come?

Fiend Machine: I don’t see your point.

Pinhead: Slush, you’ve got a couple bronze medals. What do you do with them?

Slush: Well... there was this stripper named Candy... she put some adhesive on one side and used them as pasties for one of her routines...

Fiend Machine: I think I see your point...

[Cut to the inside of a limousine. This is where we find "The All-Around Athlete" Laura Davis, dressed in a red, white and blue track suit. She has a controller of some kind in her hand.]

LD: The Bastard Olympics can feel very fortunate they have one of the best athletes in the world today taking part -- although it appears it's not going to be our athletic prowess that is going to be tested.

Still, there will certainly be many opportunities to showcase my other talents -- such as my hand-eye coordination, a skill I developed in my years of playing tennis.

[Beat.]

LD: And it's a skill I shall put to good use -- as I prepare for the one event in which I shall represent Trinity.

[The camera now shifts over to show that Laura is sitting in front of a television -- one of those cathode tube TVs that's going out of style. And on the screen, you can see she is in the middle of a game of Pong -- as it actually appeared in Atari.

The camera shifts back to Laura.]

LD: You see, my father never got rid of anything -- so he still had his 2600 in the attic, and as it turned out, it still works.

And just as I have excelled in any sport I've tried -- I'm excelling at this 2600.

Now -- time for you to depart, cameraman. I have an event to prepare for.

[That's the cameraman's cue to fade out to...

PING~!!!]

Pinhead: [MEEP]! It’s back.

Slush: This sounds slightly different. More of an F sharp than flat like it was.

Pinhead: Does it....

[PING~!!!]

Pinhead: ...matter?

Slush: There are people who care about these things.

Pinhead: And you’re one of them?

Slush: Pffft, no.

[PING~!!!]

Pinhead: Do us a favor and go back to your normal useless and tell a Highlander joke or something.

-------------------------------------------------------------
PONG
-------------------------------------------------------------

Fiend Machine: The second day of PONG went on with thankfully a smaller amount of incidents.

Slush: But there were incidents yes?

Fiend Machine: Yes, sadly.

[PING~!!!]

Slush: Oh how I am tingly.

Fiend Machine: The most interesting part of today was Stephanie Delacroix of the UWF.

Pinhead: You mean, MBC-Alamo City don’t you?

[PING~!!!]

Fiend Machine: Actually for this event she was representing UWF. And signed up under her assumed name Cicily Tyson.

[Stephanie Delacroix enters the play area wearing a short, pink and tight tennis style outfit that would make Anna Kournikova blush. Maybe not Venus Williams. That woman has no fear. God bless her.]

Slush: Did something die on her face?

Fiend Machine: No, she was wearing a fake mustache to... I don’t know... complete her disguise.

[PING~!!!]

Slush: Looks like an armadillo laid an angry turd across her lip.

Pinhead: Angry turd?

Slush: Yeah, a rage poop.

Pinhead: Somedays I’m convinced you try too hard to create phrases that will enter e-wrestling lexicon.

Slush: RAGE POOP!

[PING~!!!]

[Coached from the sideline by Pong connoisseur Noa Kagoma, Delacroix plays her match against Thomas Adoyo [Socktopolis NOW!]. The game goes on relatively free of distraction that is until...]

Fiend Machine: Then HANA returned.

[The MBC Shake Weight in hand, HANA comes back into the play area to continue her rage over losing the day before. She steals the cherry soda of Johanna Suprema and tosses it right at Delacroix. The thin material now stained, her undergarments were easy to see. or rather their pattern.]

HANA: SHE WEARS HELLO KITTY!

[Horrified and embarrassed, Delacroix runs away screaming. Adoyo advanced to the next round by default.]

Fiend Machine: HANA did other things... but even in Styx we can’t show it on television.

Slush: I think she’s my favorite potential wife.

[PING~!!!]

Pinhead: So can we just wrap this up before I hunt down he who Pings?

Fiend Machine: Thomas Adoyo would eventually go on to win the Bronze by defeating Lolita Love. But the Gold Medal... it’s hard to describe.

Slush: Isn’t it round and you know... golden?

[PING~!!!]

Fiend Machine: No. The issue is that “Vile” Vince Viper was signed up to compete and technically, he competed. However, he managed to get someone else to dress as him and convince the event officials that it was really him. Viper himself was dressed as a coach.

Pinhead: Doesn’t surprise me that somebody gets away with that. Though, Viper’s an albino right? Did he find another? Or was there makeup?

[PING~!!!]

Fiend Machine: Plenty of makeup. But that’s not the strange thing.

Pinhead: Then what is?

Fiend Machine: The person who replaced him was a ten year old Chinese girl who is apparently the reigning Pong champion.

Slush: They have those?

Fiend Machine: I wasn’t aware there were Pong championships either.

Slush; No. I was talking about Chinese girls.

[PING~!!!]

Slush: Eh, that’s more of a ZING~!

Fiend Machine: Either way, officials didn’t catch it during the event and they’re letting the results stand.

Pinhead: I find the ruling on the events and cheating to be highly inconsistent. How corrupt can an organization be?

[PING~!!!]

RB: You realize where you are right?

Pinhead: Whatever.

-------------------------------------------------------------
2012 Gold: Vince Viper [Devils You Know: Bastard Edition]
2012 Silver: Laura Davis [Trinity]
2012 Bronze: Thomas Adoyo [Socktopolis NOW!]
-------------------------------------------------------------

Fiend Machine: And that brings us to an end of the third day of Olympic coverage.

Slush: Out of how many?

RB: Eight total.

Slush: [MEEP]!

Pinhead: Don’t worry Slush. I’m told we don’t have to do commentary tomorrow.

Slush: YES! TIME TO GO PANTSLESS!

Pinhead: But we may be taken elsewhere.

Slush: I stand by my exclamation.

[As Slush stands and begins the process of removing his pants, we fade to sweet merciful, fully dressed black.]
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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RedRajah
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Shocked Woona is Shocked
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Yes, Ryu does in fact have a female Night Elf (rogue). CONTINUITY~!
And here's where I pretend to be a writer...
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MBCKyle
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The Soda Dog Refreshment Squad
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RedRajah,Oct 17 2012
03:34 PM
Yes, Ryu does in fact have a female Night Elf (rogue). CONTINUITY~!

She now has a gold accessory that gives Dance +5
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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RedRajah
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Shocked Woona is Shocked
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MBCKyle,Oct 17 2012
04:49 PM
RedRajah,Oct 17 2012
03:34 PM
Yes, Ryu does in fact have a female Night Elf (rogue).  CONTINUITY~!

She now has a gold accessory that gives Dance +5

It's that damn piccolo! :P
And here's where I pretend to be a writer...
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Overly_Critical_Jue
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
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MEDAL COUNT

PGE: 2 Gold, 1 Silver, 1 Bronze
Trinity: 3 Silver 1 Bronze
Fighting Spirit: 2 Silver, 1 Bronze
Insanity Society: 2 Gold
Devils You Know: Bastard Edition: 1 Gold, 1 Bronze
CoB: 1 Gold
MBC Alamo City: 1 Gold
AWA: 1 Silver
MBC Lone-Star: 1 Bronze
Bastard Underground: 1 Bronze
Socktopolis NOW: 1 Bronze

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