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CLOSING CEREMONIES
Topic Started: Nov 7 2012, 01:05 PM (236 Views)
MBCKyle
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The Soda Dog Refreshment Squad
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[Fade from black.

In this, the final night, we are taken straight to the Grizzly Bryant War Memorial Stadium. Once again, every seat is filled with the citizenry of Styx, Alabama. Once again, there are large amounts of people occupying the sections designated as “standing Room Only.”

Once again, a dark specter hangs in the air.

Such is life in Styx.]

Public Address Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the delegates of the Third Bastard Olympiad!

[And much like its older and far more legitimate predecessor, the athletes of every delegation start to pour out from that large grizzly shaped maw called an entrance way. There are no defined groups here, just athletes, wrestlers and people of all kinds mixed together. Friends have been made, enemies have been forged. But most importantly, these damn games are over.]

Fiend Machine: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the final night of the Third Bastard Olympics.

[The voice of James “Fiend Machine” Tempo narrates as the one-hundred plus individuals come from the entrance. Slowly, they make their way to the area around the Olympic bonfire. They take pictures and capture video, all with the convenience of their smart phones. Oh those smartphones. How brilliant they are.]

Fiend Machine: It’s been a Hell of a week, don’t you think?

RB: Well worth it. Anytime we can show off the beauty and grandnes of our beloved city the better.

[Ah yes, the Sheriff himself. Roy “Laser” Beam.]

Pinhead: Maybe we can leave when this fiasco ends.

Slush: I feel dirty. This whole week I’ve been agreeing with you on that very point.

Pinhead: Why do you feel dirty? You want out of here as much as I do.

Slush: I know, but agreeing with you goes against my nature.

[And yes, two thirds of the Unholy Trinity.]

RB: You’ll not be able to leave until the Hand of Doom receives the Bastardnomicon.

Pinhead: I’ve told you repeatedly, you’re not getting the book.

RB: Then you are not leaving.

Pinhead: We’ll find a way. There is always a way.

[And for a moment, in hope’s everlasting glory, we flash the logo for the last time.]

=====================================
2012 BASTARD OLYMPICS
=====================================
DAY EIGHT - THE CLOSING CEREMONIES
=====================================

[And its back to the Olympic Control Center one more time. Sitting behind the large (and in charge) desk are the aforementioned James Tempo and Roy Beam. And of course, who could forget the presence of Pinhead and Slush.]

RB: You see all those Mounties posted out there?

Pinhead: Hard not to. That’s the brightest red uniform I’ve ever seen.

RB: They’ve all been trained to be on the watch for you. Barring mass chaos, you’ll always be under our eye.

Slush: I shall now pray for mass chaos.

Pinhead: To who?

Slush: Cthulu. Cytorrak. Satan. Abaddon. Larry Hagman. You know... whoever.

Fiend Machine: In just a few moments, Queen Holly will address the crowd to conclude these games. Before we get there, what was your most memorable moment?

RB: My Mounties keeping control of the herd.

Pinhead: That’s a bit self-serving.

RB: I change my answer. Keeping these two idiots from escaping.

Slush: Hey! I take offense to that!

Pinhead: Thank you Slush.

Slush: He’s the bigger idiot than I am.

Pinhead: [Sigh]

[All cameras focus in upon the main platform where Queen Holly Hotbody has appeared. As always, she’s dressed to kill and haunt the dreams of the men and women who know they can never have her. And she knows that. She owns that. After giving a royal wave, she steps to the podium to give closing remarks.]

HH: Over the...

[Suddenly, her microphone cuts off. It takes only a second for Holly to notice and immediately she points to her subordinates to get the problem corrected. But the problem is not with the sound system. The problem lays with sabotage.]

Man’s Voice Over the PA System: If it so pleases the Queen, how about you sit down and shut up?

[The crowd turns into a chorus of boos and jeers. How dare somebody be so rude to their Queen. Who could it be? Who would dare such a thing?]

Man’s Voice Over the PA System: What I’m about to say is a long time in coming.

[Among the assembled masses of delegates, a space opens. Not wanting to be involved with what is about to go down, the various participants back away until only a single group stands in the middle of the circle. Holding the microphone and speaking, his eyes sharply pointed to Holly Hotbody is Brandon Elyson. At his side is his sister Kathryn.]

BE: Back away if you want. Back away if you must. But all here in attendance need to understand that this city is a farce. It is a pale imitation of what was once the great metropolis of Styx, Wyoming. Most of all, you must understand that Styx under the guidance of Crimson and the Hand of Doom will lead to nothing but empty promises and destruction.

[The Styx crowd boos heavily as they certainly love the guidance that the Hand of Doom has brought them. On the outskirts of the field, security begins to gather.]

BE: Can you see it? The Hand wants me silent to further help you forget that they stole Styx out from under you. They took the reins from your rightful leader. Have you already forsaken the good Reverend John Vengeance?

[Boos turn to mumbling as Elyson’s words bring shame.]

BE: The House of Elyson and the Industry of Hate have not forgotten. There are those among you who remember as well. We stand strong. We stand united. All for the true purpose. Hate.

[Some people begin to cheer. The Olympic delegates start to get restless. Wisely they look to find the exits.]

BE: Hate for everything not Styx. Hate for the so called bastards who find us small. Hate for the Hand. And yes, hate for the [MEEP] damn World Champion Crimson.

[Elyson points straight at Holly.]

BE: Where is your World Champion? Where is the man who hides in vanity and calls it research? Where is the man who pulls your strings, puppet?

[Elyson opens his arms, expecting an answer. But he gets none. Of course, he won’t get one since he had Holly’s microphone turned off.]

BE: He took from our Lord Vengeance the World Championship that he rightfully stole from the pretender Tom Landis. With it, he took leadership of Styx. This House, this Industry. We want it back. I issue a challenge to you Crimson. I issue a challenge for....

[As if in answer, lightning flashes and thunder booms overhead, overpowering Elyson's voice and shrieking feedback all around the stadium's PA system. The lights flicker as well -- several pop altogether, dimming the field.
There is confusion and noise for a second, and then a collective gasp as a procession of Froinlaven Druids dressed in deep red robes -- the Crimson Guard -- march out of the grizzly maw onto the field.

The Guard forms a rough semi-circle, aimed toward Elyson, and stand in stony silence... until one last procession of Druids walks out in two columns, guarding a beautiful black-haired woman in a red robe, holding the World Championship Belt on a blood red pillow.

And behind that, Crimson himself. His beard is trimmed to stubble. His hair is cut tightly. He looks lean, hungry, and still a little bit crazy in a silken red robe of his own. He looks dangerous.

At Crimson's appearance, the Guard forms into a spearhead to cut through the crowd of delegates, leading Crimson and his Belt right up to Elyson.

With Crimson standing before, Elyson simply smiles. For drawing out the MBC World Champion, he was successful. But the fire in Crimson’s eyes may eventually prove Elyson wrong. One of Crimson’s entourage provides the red clad champion a microphone.]

Crimson: You were wrong to come here. This is holy ground.

[The pro Hand of Doom portion of the crowd cheers wildly for their champion.]
Crimson: But I know you have some ties to these people. That is all that's keeping your limbs unbroken right now. But not for long.

[Crimson pauses as if to let Elyson respond. Once Elyson's mouth opens, Crimson thunders back at him.]

Crimson: Is this how you challenge me? You walk into my stadium in my city and throw your feeble bull[MEEP] around in hopes that, what, I would run away scared? Me. Scared. Of you.

Crimson: You must be new here.

[Another roar from the pro-HOD section of the crowd.]

Crimson: So be it. Challenge accepted.

[Crimson snaps his fingers.]

Crimson: You will have your shot. At my belt. At the title. At the right to lead the town of Styx however you see fit. But you must agree now. Right now. No rules. Last man standing wins it all.

What do you say, Mr. Elyson? Do you feel like I've sufficiently called your bluff?

[Agreeable to the terms, Elyson’s smirk only grows]

BE: Verily.
Crimson: Let's put an end to this, once and for all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MBC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
LAST MAN STANDING, NO HOLDS BARRED RULES
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CRIMSON ( c ) versus BRANDON ELYSON
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Though there is no bell to be officially rung, the referee gives his two finger salute to signal the contest to begin. Elyson charges to which Crimson digs his heels into the dry turf of Grizzly Bryant War Memorial Stadium. Their impact launches the cheers of the stadium populace though true affiliation remains nebulous. The two contestants lock up colar to elbow until Crimson sidesteps and leverages Elyson to the ground. Though down, Brandon sweeps his opponent's legs to bring him to his back. Quickly they get to their knees and there they brawl.]

Slush: This isn’t fair.

Pinhead: What isn’t?

Slush: There shouldn’t be a wrestling match here.

Pinhead: On a wrestling show?

[Pinhead reels back in mock horror.]

Pinhead: IT CAN’T BE! NO!

[The circle around the two men widens as their attacks and movements become more erratic. Elyson's aggression is predicated on revenge... on vengeance. But Crimson is Crimson, his own rage built on being inconvenienced in being taken from his research. In proper Styx fashion, Crimson's rage is greater.]

Fiend Machine: Both men back to their feet! Elyson goes for a haymaker but Crimson ducks!

RB: And now he has Elyson’s arm... this won’t be good for Elyson.

Pinhead: What makes you... OH MY GOD!

Slush: I never took anatomy but... that’s bad right?

[Bad indeed. With a simple twist and pull of Elyson’s arm, Crimson easily dislocates it from the shoulder. Elyson screams in agony. But Crimson isn’t done. With as efficient a hold as can be done, Crimson applies a sleeper that brings the House of Elyson leader down to his knees and finally leaves him lying unconscious on the ground. The referee checks on Elyson’s status but there is no question that the match is over.]

Pinhead: This was basically over before it even began.

RB: This is why the city of Styx follows Crimson. He is a winner.

[The match now concluded, Crimson snaps his finger. The microphone finds his hand once again. That psychotic look still in his eyes, he turns to address the crowd.]

Crimson: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

[Crimson raises his hands, expecting an ovation. And it is an ovation he receives.]
Crimson: I broke this pretender down in a matter of seconds. He is weak. His ideas are weak. And I showed him for the fraud he was. HOUSE OF ELYSON! INDUSTRY OF HATE! LEAVE! LEAVE, WHILE YOUR LEGS CAN STILL CARRY YOU!

[Her family humiliated, Kathryn Elyson orders her minions to gather her brother. They escape while the time is still allowed.]

Crimson: Any who face me will be crushed. They will be overpowered. Because I AM the Hand of Doom. And the Hand of Doom RULES THIS TOWN.


[The Champion then turns to face certain members within the assembled delegation.]
Crimson: I have heard of your tournament. Your Bastardship of the Ring, your tournament to determine what the Mighty Bastard Championship was, is, and will be. You think you have the right.

[A pause as his eyes dart from Jerry Titus to Ryu Osawa, Pablo O’Connor, and Tyler Tucker....]

Crimson: You are mistaken.

[Crimson takes the World title belt from his entourage.]

Crimson: This belt is mine. As what is in motion must come to rest, as what goes up must come down... this belt must always return to me. I am not just the Hand of Doom. I am the Mighty Bastard Championship. And this belt's rightful place is on me.

[Crimson snaps his fingers and members of his guard fasten the MBC World Title around his waist.]
Crimson: But I will entertain your tournament. To answer all questions. To silence all critics.

[Crimson points at each person in turn.]

Crimson: And to break.. every.. single.. one.. of your faces. To see the hope in your eyes die out. To see the fire that animates you snuffed out forever. And to be the one that does it.

[Finally, a smile.]

Crimson: The Hand of Doom will join your tournament. You will be crushed. You will be overpowered.

[The fans erupt once again, galvanized by Crimson’s hymn of superiority.]
Crimson: Now begone.

[The delegates, knowing when they’re not wanted, quickly make their way to the exits. But in the stands, where visitors from out of town are gathered, there is panic. The citizens of this crazy mixed up town have turned feral and xenophobic. Or rather, they just revert to how they truly are. Fires pop up on the horizon. Chaos reigns in Hell. And as the riots commence, we cut back to the Olympic Control center that oversees the action as it unfolds within the confines of Grizzly Bryant War Memorial Stadium.]

RB: Ah, the decree to dispatch the foreigners from Crimson himself. Glorious day!

Fiend Machine: So does that apply to every non-citizen?

RB: Yes, and that includes you.

Fiend Machine: Well, can I get my stuff?

RB: I’m afraid it’s property of the Styx Sheriff’s office now.

Fiend Machine: You can’t make an exception?

RB: No. The only exception is for Pinhead and Slush since they are to stay until we have the book. The order for them supersedes any...

[Roy pauses, for something is amiss. The camera pans back to reveal much more than Beam and Tempo looking out the window of the Olympic Control Center. At long last, the viewer at home sees what Roy sees, two empty chairs where Pinhead and Slush used to occupy.]

Fiend Machine: They’re gone!

RB: Clever girls.

[Roy reaches under the table to pull out his Sheriff’s hat. With style and grandeur, he places it upon his head. It fits right, it fits true. This is the Roy Beam people expect and want. This is his natural element.]

RB The hunt... it begins.

[Cut away from the Control Center to the thick woods that surround Styx, Alabama. The full moon shines down through the canopy above, giving light to two men on the run. A faint orange hue, the glow of the fires of Hell, hangs in the sky, but the two fugitives pay no notice. Their lives and possible sanity are at stake.]

Slush: I hear them coming!

Pinhead: You’re imagining things! Now keep running!

Slush: Werewolves! They’re coming for me! They crave my tasty meat!

[Spry for his age, Pinhead leaps over a fallen tree. Slush...]

Slush: OOF!

[...runs into it.]

Pinhead: Damnit Slush!

[Despite his strong desire to leave Slush to be captured or maybe even eaten by these so-called wolves of were, Pinhead is too far decent of a person to let anyone fall to the fate that likely waits for them both. Pinhead runs back and pulls Pinhead back to his feet.]

Pinhead: We don’t have much time. We have to...

[Suddenly, Pinhead and Slush are surrounded by the ninja-mountie hybrids that have stalked them religiously over the past week. Some have guns, some have katanas. Some even have blow darts.

There is no escape.]

Ninja-Mountie Hybrid Captain: [Into walkie talkie] Predaking to Megatron. We’ve located and surrounded the target.

Roy Beam: [Over walkie talkie] Arms away. They are to be unharmed.

Ninja-Mountie Hybrid Captain: [Into walkie talkie]: I was advised the targets were dangerous sir.

Roy Beam: [Over walkie talkie] Only in the fact that if they talk too long your mind will flatline.

Ninja-Mountie Hybrid Captain: [Into walkie talkie]: Roger that sir. Predaking out.

[The captain switches off the walkie-talkie before addressing his men.]

Captain: Apprehend, but do not harm.

Pinhead: Screw this. If I’m going out, I’m going out fighting.

THWP~!

[Suddenly a dart finds its way into the side of Pinhead’s neck.]

Pinhead: You shot me!

Slush: Dude, you’ve got a [MEEP]ing dart in your neck.

THWP~!

[And a dart finds its way into Slush’s neck.]

Slush: Just one? Pfft! I drink NyQuila bitches!

THWP~! THWP~! THWP~! THWP~!

[Yeah... lots of darts.

Pinhead and Slush start to become woozy, the effects of the laced darts taking effect. Pinhead takes a few swings, trying to fight but the guards only keep their distance to wait out their prey’s remaining lucid moments.]

Captain: Move in when they drop.

[All of the sudden, gunfire is heard in the distance.]

Captain: [Into walkie talkie] All units report!

Walkie Talkie: Capain, you’ve got incoming hostiles!

Captain: [Into walkie talkie]: Can you identify?

Walkie Talkie: They look like.... ARRGGHHH!!

[The walkie talkie goes to static. But a rustling in the trees rattles the cages of several of the men.]

Hybrid #2: They’re in the trees!

[The Captain looks to the canopy above, violent shaking sending down leaves from not one but many of the towering oaks. But the screaming of his troops takes away his attention.]

Hybrid #3: Stay where you are! You're under arrest for obstruction of justice!

[Surrounded by more than half of the Captain's troops is a man dressed completely in white. His hair and beard are long and dark with his features obfuscated by the dark of night. Arms at his sides, he makes no motion to attack. Feeling that this man will do something bloody awesome, it’s difficult for the captain to turn away.]

Captain: [Into walkie talkie] Predaking to all units. New targets are confirmed as members of the Parts Unknown National Tribunal. I have sniffed out the PUNT. I repeat I have sniffed the PUNT. I have The Hard Master surrounded but all members of PUNT are considered highly dangerous. I repeat...

Hybrid #4: AAAARRRRGGGGHH!!!

[The Captain spins around to see one of his Hybrid troops being pulled up into the tree. Panic sets in with the troops.]

Hybrid #5: The trees are alive!

Hybrid #6: With the sound of music!

[Turning back from the trees, the Captain sees The Hard Master just as he was before. However, all of the hybrid troops are knocked out completely at the Master's feet. Before he can even process what to do, a red clad hand taps him on the shoulder. The Captain hesitates but turns. There behind him is The Beautiful Master, dressed in red and an elegant mask covering her face. Behind her are the decimated forms of the rest of the Captain's troops.]

The Beautiful Master: These are not the commentators you're looking for.

[She waves her hand and instantly The Captain's eyes roll back in his head. He falls to the forest floor, straight into an ant bed.]

Pinhead: Are you... angels?

[The drugged Pinhead and Slush are about to do the same but The Hard Master is there to catch them both. Slush by this point is completely gone. Pinhead though still fights the effects of the drugs.]

Pinhead: What are...

[Though her face is hidden behind a mask, her voice still sooths the ailing fugitive.]

The Beautiful Master: Sleep well Senor McAllister. Soon you will be safe.

[Pinhead's eyes begin to flutter faster, his fight against slumber ending soon.]

Pinhead: Whe... where?

The Beautiful Master: Soon…

[His body goes limp but his eyes yet fight.]

The Beautiful Master: …you will find yourself in Parts Unknown.

[And just as Pinhead succumbs to the drugs, his world much like this show fades to sweet merciful black.]






Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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Overly_Critical_Jue
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
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The world didn't end. :boxing:
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MBCKyle
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Overly_Critical_Jue,Nov 8 2012
04:07 PM
The world didn't end. :boxing:

That still needs match writers.
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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JeremySAtWork
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MBCKyle,Nov 7 2012
01:05 PM


The Beautiful Master: …you will find yourself in Parts Unknown.

Everybody knows you can only get there by shoving the controls of a plane into a nose dive!

Also, needs more rage-snorting.
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MBCKyle
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JeremySAtWork,Nov 8 2012
05:01 PM
MBCKyle,Nov 7 2012
01:05 PM


The Beautiful Master: …you will find yourself in Parts Unknown.

Everybody knows you can only get there by shoving the controls of a plane into a nose dive!

Also, needs more rage-snorting.

Some will argue the MBC took a nose dive looooong ago....
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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MBCKyle
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Thanks to all the feds, stables and handlers who participated, especially those who had never done anything MBC-wise before. I hope you enjoyed it and hope more that you cherish those medals.

At the very least, hit the high class pawn shops...
Everything I learned about soccer, I learned from Dro.

You are to refer to Katie as "The Duchess of Der Basterdmusen" as of June 2014. She'll get angry if you don't. You've been warned.
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