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[Youtube] #JanisaMan
Topic Started: Feb 1 2013, 08:41 PM (245 Views)
Overly_Critical_Jue
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Amigo, I ain't anybody but Juan Vasquez!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[We fade into two ladies, seated in front of a mounted camcorder, recording. On one side, is a girl wearing an expressionless white mask of a female, a leather jacket, and a "#JanisaMan" tshirt. Next to her is a Japanese girl with gorgeous, bouncy French curled locks, impeccable make-up and for some reason, is wearing a red prom dress. They are the ever mysterious "Mistress Nightshade"(Who we all know is Hitomi Shimizu) and the #1 contender to the MBC Women's World title...Tomoko Honda.]

Tomoko: I can't believe you dragged me into this...

"Mistress Nightshade": Silence, lowly maggot! This is a very serious issue that MUST be discussed!

["Mistress Nightshade" turns to the camera.]

"Mistress Nightshade": Three weeks ago, when I started on this, I thought Jan Delgado was born a woman...but now I have doubts. Very _real_ doubts. I'm starting to believe she's really a man.

Tomoko: Oh my god...

"Mistress Nightshade": I have people that have studied this issue and they can't believe what they're finding...roll the footage!

[We cut to pre-taped video footage, where we see "Mistress Nightshade" standing in a sterile, hospital-like environment. Standing beside her, dressed in a labcoat...is the seven-foot monster, Edwin Lopez.]

"Mistress Nightshade": I'm here with world famous wrestler, lawyer, author, poet, and research geneticist, Edwin Lopez! Mr. Lopez, you have spent much time to crack the mystery that is Jan Delgado's origins...what do you believe?

[Edwin rubs his chin in thought.]

EL: It is of my opinion...and the opinion of my highly respected staff that Jan Delgado's sex is...

...undetermined.

["Mistress Nightshade" places a hand on her chest in "shock".]

"Mistress Nightshade": You mean that she might be a man?

[Edwin crosses his arms and nods in the affirmative.]

EL: This is a possibility, yes.

"Mistress Nightshade": Scandalous!

[We then fade back to present time, where we see Tomoko in the background, shaking her head in disbelief, as "Mistress Nightshade" addresses the camera.]

"Mistress Nightshade": Jan Delgado is the least transparent Women's champion in MBC history! There's never been anything like it! We know very little about our champion.

[A snort.]

"Mistress Nightshade": Now, many MANY people have questions...very SERIOUS questions. And I have a deal for our champion...a deal that I don't believe she/he can refuse and I hope she/he doesn't.

Tomoko: Oh boy...

"Mistress Nightshade": If Jan Delgado...if that's his/her REAL name...opens up and gives his/her birth certificate, medical records, and submits to a DNA test, I will give to HIM/HER...a check immediately for five million dollars!

Tomoko: We don't have that kind of money!

[Nightshade turns to stare at Tomoko for a moment, before directing her attention back to the camera.]

"Mistress Nightshade": Five million yen!

[Tomoko facepalms.]

"Mistress Nightshade": Give us the answers we want, Jan.

[She comes a little closer.]

"Mistress Nightshade": WHAT ARE YOU HIDING!?!!

[Her masked face is directly in front of the camera.]

"Mistress Nightshade": MAN OR WOMAN, JAN! TELL US!

[Grabbing the camcorder off the stand, she lets out a gutteral roar.]

"Mistress Nightshade": TELL UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!

[And with that, the video cuts to black. Replay?]
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