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| Revolution 02; The 2nd Show! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 23 2013, 05:58 PM (766 Views) | |
| texanspaniard | Apr 23 2013, 05:58 PM Post #1 |
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The Luther Burger
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[Scene opens to backstage where we see the New Wave Pro Wrestling banner and standing in front of it is a young African-American man wearing a dark gray suit with a white button-up shirt and a dark red tie with a shaven head and a mustache and goatee. He also looks very nervous and has a bad look on his face as if he doesn't feel quite right.] Young Man: Hello everyone! My name is Todd Banks and I'm on duty tonight, reporting at the 2nd episode of New Wave Pro Wrestling's Revolution! [He takes a nervous gulp and grimaces a bit then soldiers on.] TB: A lot of excitement and energy here at the Genesis Convention Center in Gary, Indiana but the BIG buzz is that NO ONE has seen or heard from "Pacific Perfection" Keoni Tanaka! This is of course a big concern backstage with officials and staff because Tanaka is IN tonight's Main Event tag team match, teaming with "Perfect Gentleman" Edgar Caspian against Jerry "Double Wide" Calhoun and "Rowdy" Jon Rawlins! [Something bothers Todd and he looks down nervously then grimaces and does his best to flash a smile.] TB: I will be backstage all night and will give an update as soon as Tanaka is in the building but as of right now, Keoni Tanaka is not here which has everyone nervous about the status of tonight's main event! That's the big news backstage, let's go inside the Genesis Convention Center for REVOLUTION! [Banks flashes a suffering smile and then we cut to a studio shot of a wrestling ring set up w/ New Wave Pro Wrestling logos on the ring apron. Rock N Roll Worship Circus' "New Wave Revolution" song plays as we watch shadowy figures of wrestlers duking it out inside the ring until pyro goes off behind them and a CGI explosion covers the screen and segues to the opening show graphic..] Fantastic Fight Network Presents... ![]() [Taped @ Genesis Convention Center, Gary, IN] [We cut to inside the Genesis Convention Center and the sold out crowd cheering their heads off! We pan to the announce table where two men dressed in spiffy suits are standing by flashing big smiles! We recognize them as Charles "Chuck" Morgan and Roy Harper!] CM: Welcome everyone to New Wave Pro Wrestling and REVOLUTION! I'm Chuck Morgan! RH: I'm Roy Harper! CM: And Todd Banks in the back is not lying, folks! It is chaos backstage with staff and agents going out of their mind because no one knows where Keoni Tanaka is! RH: I am concerned about "Pacific Perfection", Chuck, BUT... What is up with Todd? CM: What do you mean? RH: Did you not see him?! He looks like something is KILLING him! [Morgan shakes his head.] CM: I'm sure Todd is perfectly fine, Roy. RH: Man, I hope I'm never in any kind of trouble because you'll think I'm "fine". CM: Whatever. *sighs* Anyways, like Todd said when more news comes in about Keoni Tanaka and the main event we will let everyone know! But we have a big show ahead of us tonight! We'll see The Tunney Family in singles action tonight.. RH: That will be THE highlight of the show, Chuck! There are no better group in all of pro wrestling than The Tunney Family! CM: We'll also see Darkness, Caden Santos and Dan Flores in singles action. RH: Pssh! CM: Tiger Soul will also be in singles action and Jackson Tolliver will be making his debut tonight against "Bling King" Benny King! RH: Super Official Baby! CM: The main event tonight, as Todd Banks mentioned at the start of the show, is SUPPOSED to be "Rowdy" Jon Rawlins & Jerry "Double Wide" Calhoun taking on "Perfect Gentleman" Edgar Caspian & "Pacific Perfection" Keoni Tanaka but... RH: Where are you Pacific Perfection? WE NEED YOU! CM: We'll see what happens tonight, but first we are going to see the "Chi-Town Beast" Sinister in action! He is backstage with Todd Banks so Todd.. Over to you! [We cut from Chuck & Roy to a still shot of the New Wave Professional banner that has become customary for most interviews. As the picture zooms out we see a young African-American gentleman wearing a dark gray suit with a white button-up shirt and dark red tie sitting in a large chair. His head is shaven, his moustache and goatee nicely trimmed, and his black shoes are well polished. This young man is known as Todd Banks and for some reason, he looks a bit perturbed] TB: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome to New Wave Pro Wrestling. Please pardon my mood, my stomach has been…[he pauses to make an awkward face, exhaling while placing his right hand over his stomach momentarily]…giving me fits. People told me to watch what I do in Mexico but I guess I didn’t listen closely enough. [He adjusts himself in his seat, inhales and exhales deeply then continues] TB: Tonight I have a guest who I’m very much looking forward to speaking with. I don’t know what his mood will be due to the results of the match he was involved with, but nonetheless, without further ado, let me introduce, Sinister! [The Chicago native steps into view from the right side of the screen where we see a large chair awaiting him. He dons a dark purple short-sleeved shirt, dark gray slacks and black business casual shoes. His facial expression is primarily pleasant but an undertone of disdain is detected] Sin: Good afternoon brotha’ Banks, how are you doing? TB: Pretty good Sin, but my stomach is bubblin’ man. I don’t know if it’s from the food or something I drank, but it feels like I was on a roller coaster ride for too long! Sin: [Chuckles slightly] Yeah man, I’ve eaten some bad food before that took my stomach for an unwanted spin, believe me. TB: Maybe I should be like you and not drink alcohol at all! Sin: Be yourself Todd. If you want to drink, then drink. You’re old enough to know the consequences of decisions. TB: Old enough, sure, but I don’t know about mature enough. Sin: Well hell, I think that’s the vast majority of people in the world to be honest. TB: I hear ya’. Well Sin, we all saw what went down in the match with you and Caden Santos battling “Lockdown” Felix Audiet and “Sidewinder” Edward Marley. In my opinion, you and Santos were on the verge of victory before Marley took it upon himself to use that steel chair illegally. Your thoughts? Sin: [nods slowly] Yeah, Mr. Santos and I had regained the momentum and obviously “Mr. Snake Man” Marley couldn’t handle that so he whacked me from behind with a steel chair…twice. Make no mistake, Marley’s no fool and I know his whole purpose was to not only send a message to the league, but to also embarrass me in my home state! I can stand being hit with cheap shots because that’s nothing new, but trying to make me look bad in front of my Chi-Town people!? That…I can’t let go of, Todd. TB: I think that’s perfectly understandable Sinister. Now that this has happened…[he makes a funny face and leans to one side, exhaling slowly and frowning]…damn, my stomach is trippin’! Sin: Come on Todd, don’t sit there and build up bubble guts or let it escalate to Hershey squirts! That’s nasty man! TB: [Laughing] Come on man, don’t make me laugh! That’s only going to make it worse! Sin: All right, settle down. How about I just talk a bit and you breathe slowly to settle yourself? TB: Yeah, that’s a deal. Sin: [Peers directly towards the camera] Good. “Sidewinder”, congratulations on getting under my skin damn near immediately. I hope you understand the consequences of your actions, if you even truly think that far ahead. Yeah, I know that you’re being mentally fed by James Tunney, the head of the Tunney Family. However, a word of caution. [He extends his right index finger] Sin: Take heed of the directions that Mr. Tunney gives you, Marley, because they could very well lead you down a path you don’t want to take. There’s no doubt you’re an accomplished wrestler and very capable in the ring, I understand that. What I don’t understand is why you chose to raise my ire by blasting me with a chair from behind! You didn’t think that one through too much, but honestly, that’s just fine with me. TB: [Looking a bit more settled] Why is that fine with you Sin? Sin: I always want my enemies to show their true nature as soon as possible so I know how to approach situations involving them. Mr. Tunney is a smart man, though the methods he utilizes are definitely not in agreement with how I approach my business in this federation. Be that as it may, Mr. Tunney and the Tunney Family will have a far clearer understanding of what it means to embarrass me with a cheap shot in front of my people. [Todd hunches over, drops the microphone to hold his stomach with both hands] TB: [barely audibly] Sin, I have to use the bathroom! Sin: Go man, don’t sit there and tell me about that while suffering! The way you look, I have a feeling the walls in that bathroom are gonna’ be sweatin’ and flies will be circling. It’s a good thing there are other bathrooms around here because that would be jacked up if I had to use the bathroom with your strugglin’ self. Go man, go! [The scene fades as Todd Banks stumbles off camera to the left while Sinister shakes his head, chuckling slightly as we cut to back to the announce table.] RH: THAT'S what his problem was?!! [Chuck shakes his head in embarrassment.] CM: I.. I don't even know what to say. RH: He is not a professional, Chuck. CM: *sighs* Let's go to the ring! ************************* Sinister [6'11", 280lbs] vs Da' Big Man [6'8", 350lbs] ************************** [Sinister comes out to the ring to a HUGE Pop from the fans while Da' Big Man ran his mouth at the former World Champion. As the bell rings the large Italian man charged at Sin with a shoulder tackle but the "Chi-Town Beast" Side stepped and DECKED Da' Big Man with a 7 FOOTER HIGH KICK! Sin laid into his opponent with martial arts strikes and kicks, softening the Italian up before whipping him into a corner. Big Daddy Sin laid into his foe with a left hook to the kidney area followed by a right hook to the kidneys leading to a right elbow smash to the head followed with a left 45 degree kick to Da' Big Man's gut before finishing with a Spinning Roundhouse Kick to the head! FIVE POINTS OF PAIN! The crowd was going wild while Da' Big Man was laid out on the canvas! Sinister motioned to the fans then pulled his opponent up to his feet, whipped him to the ropes and then caught him with a HUGE Spinning Spinebuster! The Chi-Town Beast had his foe finished and yanked him up and set up and hit his devastating CHI-TOWN MASSACRE finisher! The 1, 2, 3 followed!] W: Sinister CM: What an impressive win for Sinister and a big statement from him aimed directly at Edward Marley! RH: Sinister is a big man, Chuck, but size isn't everything! He is making a BIG mistake if he thinks he can stand up to Marley and the Tunney Family! They will wipe him out! CM: They sure tried to do that last time but here Sin is, still standing and standing tall! RH: For now, Chuck. Wait til he crosses paths with Marley again then we'll see. CM: Well ah.. Something is being set up at the top of the entrance ramp.. [Staff are pulling out tables to much confusion from the fans.] RH: What is going on there? CM: No idea but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough! Let's go to some comments from "Rowdy" Jon Rawlins about tonight's main event while things are set up out here! [Cut to that large NWPW banner backstage. Standing in front of it is young "Rowdy" Jon Rawlins. The red-headed rookie is already in his ring attire (solid black tights, red boots, red wristbands and a single red glove on his right hand). He flashes the camera a less nervous grin than from his debut and nods.] "R"JR: The Rowdy Revolution has left the station and is on its way to the next destination! [Rawlins gives one solid clap to emphasis the rhyme.] Tonight, me and the big man Jerry Calhoun are taking on two men who each claim they're perfect.... [Jon shakes his head, glaring.] Well, Caspian, Tanaka...there's only ONE entity that's perfect and it ain't either of you two jerks! [A quick look heavenward and the boyish grin is briefly back on Jon's face before his expression turns more serious.] "R"JR: Now, a few guys out there might think it's cool to tear me down because I'm willing to stand up for my beliefs and DO the right thing! I've never been afraid to back down from a challenge and I'm not gonna start now. If "crimsonjoeno1" and the rest of the internet trolls wanna waste their time spewing that crap on Twitter thinking they're being edgy, be my guest! [His expression quirks into a quick grin.] Probably went to Saint Ignatius. But I know the real fans have my back and I'm ALWAYS gonna be there for them! [Rawlins raises his chin slightly. The young man's gaze blazes with intensity as he nods.] "R"JR: And Tiger Soul, you might claim to be some sort of elite predator, but you're nothing but a yellow-bellied snake looking for the cheap way out to me and the rest of the New Wave Pro fans! Don't think I'm gonna forget about YOU! [Jon jabs his gloved index finger towards the camera.] I'll be keeping my eye on you out there -- just in case... [Jon begins to bounce on his heels, revving himself up.] "R"JR: Now it's time to GET ROWDY! [He thrusts a fist high in the air.] WHOA YEAH! [We cut back to the ring where we see an African-American man in what can only be described as a Parliament Funkadelic outfit dancing around.] CM: Some fired up words from Jon Rawlins who seems ready for the main event later tonight! RH: He's fired up about sticking his nose in business it doesn't belong in is what he is fired up about but I have to say I'm disappointed, Chuck. CM: About what? RH: I was hoping he would have news about "Pacific Perfection" showing up. CM: Indeed, we still do not know where Keoni Tanaka is and he is scheduled to compete in the main event tonight! RH: Though knowing Rawlins, if he DID see Tanaka he would probably just get in his face and try to reprimand him about being too perfect or something. CM: Well the main event is still to come but right now we're going to turn our attention to the top of the entrance ramp where "Perfect Gentleman" Edgar Caspian and his lovely valet, Miss Crystal, have something going on! [Up at the entrance, Miss Crystal is in the process of setting up a large banquet table. A firm supporter of female empowerment, “The Perfect Gentleman” Edgar Caspian lets the little lady do all the heavy lifting. Throwing down a tablecloth, Crystal starts to place a large number of pies on top of it. Caspian would like to help his dainty valet, but food preparation is woman’s work. With the lesser sex taking entirely too long to assemble our set piece, the audience starts to notice the limey bastard before he addresses them, the jeers are deafening. The scowl that Crystal’s being treated to, contorts into a big smile, as Caspian turns to greet his public.] Caspian: New Wave... I had hoped to exalt you with the virtues of Keoni Tanaka. Unfortunately my partner in perfection does not appear to be in the building at the moment. Could this lead to me taking on that uncouth Rawlins and mastodon Double Down by myself? Fear not Gents, for even if Keoni does make an appearance we would still be in a two on twelve HANDICAP scenario – <cringe> as I feel Calhoun should count as a good eleven people. Even faced with such overwhelming odds I would do my best to put up the good fight to show you that <striking a pose> handicapped people must have something they can offer society! [The winning public service message fails to reach the redneck trash in the audience who look ready to pelt trash at him. Growing colder, Caspian continues to force a smile, but feels compelled to address the elephant in the arena.] Caspian: Now some of you may have seen me attempting to educate that delightful woman on the merits of using a lobster pick on the last episode, and I can assure you – I was not encouraging her to eat off the floor. I realize now that it was a terrible strain on the poor girl, you probably do not see many lobsters here... so this week’s introduction to proper manners will be with a food that is a little closer to home. Nothing is more AMERICAN than...< throws an arm back to the table> APPLE PIE! [A mountain of pies have been set up along the long table. Miss Crystal poses next to the feast, before a dirty look from Edgar suggests her modeling gestures might be demeaning – or worse, take attention away from him. Always happy to get a free meal, the audience forgets what a cad our gentleman is, and quickly starts pleading to be picked.] Caspian: Can I have some volunteers? Who would like a delicious piece of pie – <raising finger to make a point> all the more delectable when consumed in a PROPER manner. [The Perfect Gentlemen starts to pace along the entrance, pointing at members of the crowd to join him.] Caspian: You... you... you... no not you, the lovely lady behind you. “Lo siento Miss Crystal!” Caspian< sneer>: What are you doing here? [New Wave Pro Wrestling grappler, Oscar De La Red, dressed in jeans and a red t-shirt has joined them with an apologetic look upon his face.] Oscar De La Red: I am apologizing to Miss Crystal. They say I yelled at her last week... I don't remember, but <turning to Crystal> lo siento. Miss Crystal <warm smile>: I don’t remember it either, Oscar, so please don’t worry abo--- Caspian< dagger eyes>: You have a lot of nerve showing your face after those harsh words, you monster! Oscar De La Red: I feel SUPER bad about it. Caspian: You should you scum... and furthermore------WHAT?! [Caspian's face turns bright red when instead of a table full of pies, he sees only empty plates and serving platters. The spread has been wiped out by what could possibly be a horde of locusts, but instead turns out to be Jerry "Double Wide" Calhoun, who is seated at the far end of the table, a red checkered napkin tucked into the top of his wrestling gear, preparing to eat an entire coconut cream pie. Calhoun looks up at the stunned and angry Caspian and smiles broadly...] Calhoun: Can you believe that somebody just left all these perfectly good pies just sittin' out? I can't stand to see good food go to waste! Come to think of it, I can't stand to see _any_ food go to waste! Caspian: You... you... HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO BETTER THEMSELVES SO THEY DON’T END UP LIKE <pointing at Oscar> THIS FOOL, IF YOU EAT MY LESSON PLAN?! Calhoun: You mean, you left all this here? Well, that was awfully nice of you! How'd you know I'd be needin' a light snack before our big Main Event tag match, tonight? Caspian: Are you as thick in the head as you are in the posterior, Double Down? You really needed to eat it ALL, not even leaving a scrap for anyone else. How greedy are you? <turning to the audience, Edgar points at the last pie> When there is only one morsel remaining, the polite thing to do is leave it. The person you are dining with will leave it as well. It just sits there on the plate, teasing starving children in third world countries. It shows consideration. <turning back to Jerry> This is why manners are important... first you don’t pass the salt, then you go to McDonalds and scrape the chicken off your salt. It’s a slippery slope before you become a disgracefully fat, pathetically fat, miserably fat, disgustingly fat loser – whose only joys in life are stealing the inconceivable amounts of food required to keep his massive frame from ever losing a pound. An existence with few joys, waiting for a forklift to carry him down to a wrestling ring, no longer able to move under his own power; only living to act as a blueprint to an easy heart attack for his legions of illegitimate children! <striking a pose> Wait until marriage, kids. [Jerry's broad cheeks burn bright red in a combination of anger and embarrassment...] Calhoun: You know somethin' Eddy? You're absolutely right. It was downright selfish of me to eat all this myself instead of seeing if anyone else wanted any. But I can correct that right now. In fact, why don't I just give you some of this pie? Caspian< scowl>: It’s too late for that! Forget the pie, I hate pie! Calhoun: You HATE pie?! Well, I thought there was something a little off about you! But I don't have no problem with that, whatever floats your boat, Eddy. Although, it does seem a dreadful waste... [Jerry looks Miss Crystal up and down as the crowd laughs. The hoots and hollers of the capacity crowd have a distinctly homophobic ring to them. Realizing his mistake, and not wanting the ladies to mistake his impeccable politeness with being gay, Caspian starts to double take.] Caspian< trying to win back the audience>: Wait. What I meant to say was, while a gentleman never tells, I am a fan of pie. Calhoun: You're a fan of pie, huh? Well then, why don't you try this one on for size? [Jerry winds up with the pie and starts to push it into Caspian's face, but the wide eyed "Perfect Gentlemen" quickly grabs the shoulders of Miss Crystal and shoves her between him and the irate redneck. Jerry is unable to react in time, and the lovely Miss Crystal takes the full brunt of the creamy pie right smack in the face! The valet stands there in shock as thick sugary custard drips off her face. Caspian looks incensed and Jerry Calhoun has a look of horror on his face! Calhoun immediately begins to apologize profusely as he tries to wipe the pie off of Miss Crystal's face with his napkin. Before he can make any headway, however, Caspian grasps his valet by the wrist and leads her away, screaming insults back over his shoulder at Calhoun as he does so. Oscar De La Red shakes his head in disgust, and then follows his new role model. A frustrated Calhoun throws his napkin to the floor and sits back at the table. He sees the ruined remains of the pie, picks it up and takes a big taste. He raises his eyebrows and nods his head in approval as he begins to eat what's left of the pie.] RH: Calhoun just ASSAULTED Miss Crystal with Pie! CM: He didn't assault anyone, Roy! He was trying to shove the pie in Caspian's face when Edgar pulled Crystal in the way! RH: SLANDER! A perfect gentleman would NEVER do that and Edgar Caspian is a PERFECT Gentleman! CM: *sighs* In any event there is an issue brewing now between Calhoun and Caspian going into tonight's main event. Interesting note was that not even Edgar, Tanaka's partner for tonight's main event, knows where "Pacific Perfection" is! RH: Maybe Calhoun ATE Keoni while trying to get to a slice of Hawaiian pizza in a buffet! CM: That's outrageous and ridiculous, Roy! RH: You're right, Chuck. Keoni Tanaka wouldn't be at a pizza buffet and Jerry Calhoun would not stop at one piece of a pizza, he'd eat the whole thing! CM: While we clean this mess up out here let's go backstage to hear from Tiger Soul! [.. and we are backstage once again as the mighty NWPW banner hangs with majestic pride. From the right side of the camera appears the world renowned masked superstar, Tiger Soul. Already dressed to wrestle the enigmatic superstar begins to talk.] "The debut of Revolution is in the history books. It was a night of adventures. Promises were made. Battle lines were drawn. Some of us made bold claims." [Tiger Soul stops letting his bold claim of making claim towards the NWPW Championship title sink in.] "Legends returned to the ring, warriors laced up our boots, and wrestlers of tomorrow received their big chance ... And that brings us to Johnny Rawlins." [Snarling pause.] "You know at first I thought it was kind of adorable how you walked around backstage with that look of awe on your face. I know it must of been awe-inspiring to be in the same locker room with such greats like myself. We have all been there once in our career. That look on your face brought back memories when I was a snot-nosed rookie who didn't have a clue. The only difference was I knew it and I kept my nose clear and paid my dues. You on the other hand? You apparently went full schoolgirl crush mode and decided you wanted to stick your nose in my business." [Utter distaste in the voice of Tiger Soul at what he perceives as disrespect.] "Rawlins, it appears you need a hard lesson in respect. We all _earn_ our stripes in this business. We do that _inside_ that ring. You want my attention? Get over your insecurity and step up like a man and make that challenge. I made my intention clear from the start. I am here to back up my claim over being the best. You wanted my attention? You found the ingredients. Your disrespect is sickening and it will be dealt with." [Slow nod.] "On any night in this industry ... a superstar can be born. On the other side of the coin. On any night in this industry ... a promising career can be broken. Rawlins, let that sink in for a moment. Because, come Revolution you are given a second chance. You can return back to that wide eyed rookie wandering around backstage biding his time ... earning his stripes. _or_ You can continue to disrespect me. You can seal your fate and put an end to a career that never had a chance to begin." [One final pause to let his words sink in.] "Revolution ... It's another night where anything can happen. Another night of an awe-inspiring performance by yours truly. Another night of one more step of becoming the NWPW Champion. A Tiger always destroys his prey." [We cut back to the ring where we see a young caucasian wrestler dressed in orange trunks and tan ring boots warming up.] CM: Tiger Soul with some hard words for Jon Rawlins. RH: And why not, Chuck? Rawlins DID stick his nose in where it didn't belong last time! If he's not careful he's going to get bitten by a tiger for it! CM: Let's go to the ring! *************************** Tiger Soul [5'11", 225lbs] vs "Butternut" Squash [5'9", 190lbs] *************************** [Tiger Soul hit the ring and immediately stalked after his opponent. The referee called for the bell as Soul pressed for an aggressive lock up with Butternut. The masked man from Japan got a side headlock on his opponent and then quickly twisted into a hammerlock drop toe-hold aka The Tiger Spin! As Soul laid in knees to Butternut's arm the crowd got excited because a figure made his way from the back. Their cheers became lukewarm however when they saw it was "Rowdy" Jon Rawlins! Rawlins insisted on some high fives with fans before situating himself at the bottom of the entrance ramp watching Tiger Soul in action!] RH: What is this goof doing out here, Chuck?! CM: I can only assume that Rawlins is out here to make sure that Tiger Soul doesn't pull any shenanigans. RH: The only one pulling shenanigans is Rawlins! CM: Rawlins hasn't done anything to this match, Roy. RH: Yet! [Soul spots Rawlins on the entrance ramp and walks over to the ropes and yells some warnings at the rookie. "Rowdy" Jon tells Tiger Soul to focus on his match. The masked man glares at Rawlins and then hits a Double Underhook Suplex on Squash. Soul then rains some stiff kicks down on his opponent and THEN Rawlins becomes animated and stomps to the ring and complains to the referee that a count needs to be put on Tiger Soul! The masked man tells Rawlins to mind his own business and the referee has to get between them and calm the situation down.] RH: SEE?! CM: Jon saw something he didn't approve of.. RH: He probably doesn't approve of anything when it comes to Tiger Soul, Chuck! I bet Rawlins would reprimand a child wearing a "Tigger" t-shirt in his current mood! [Soul does his best to ignore Rawlins as he drops Butternut on his head with a High-Angle German Suplex and then hits a HARD Snap DDT rendering the young man nearly unconcious! The masked man then pulled his foe up to his feet, placed him on the top turnbuckle, climbs up top and stands slight to the side of Squash, reaches under his near arm and across the chest and under the far arm while placing his other hand on Butternut's back and then leaps back with a moonsault motion.. SOUL OF THE TIGER! As Rawlins grit his teeth the referee counted the 1, 2, 3!] W: Tiger Soul CM: An impressive showing for Tiger Soul here tonight but the big story is this growing issue between Jon Rawlins and the masked man from Japan! RH: Rawlins has some nerve, Chuck! He can't even let Tiger Soul have any moment of glory. No, Jon's gotta' butt his nose in and make it all about him! CM: I am sure issues between them will only escalate but right now we are going backstage once again where Dan Flores is standing by! [SCENE: NWPW banner! A-AAAAAAAAAAAAA! Standing in front of the banner is Dan Flores, as helpfully pointed out by the chryon carrying his name. Flores is non-descript, wearing a black Nike hat, ala Tiger Woods, and a grey Minnesota Golden Gopher t-shirt over glossy purple wrestling trunks. Flores holds a microphone and speaks as his name flashes in and out.] DF: NWPW. I don't think we've made acquaintances. [Flores grins thinly.] DF: And I know what you're thinking. Didn't you used to be Dan Broussard? Yeah, what can I tell ya. When someone sees you at a wrestling show in Iowa and says, "Hey kid, you'd make a heck of a Broussard. Start callin' yourself that, it'll take ya places", well, shoot, what's a guy to do? [Shrug.] DF: And Dan Broussard, he treated me well. He took me places, y'know, Dan Broussard was like my first car. Got me on the road, took me to a bunch of places I'd never been to, let me do my thing in front of a bunch of great people. Met a bunch of girls. But my first car broke down on the side of the road, and Dan Broussard saw his time run out too. It was time to stop leasing a name and start being a name. [Flores pulls down on his hat and looks at the camera.] DF: I signed a few deals here and there, I even made a token appearance in Arizona. Didn't go so well... here's why. I got so caught up in being Dan Broussard that I forgot about being Dan Flores. I forgot about the training and the work, I forgot about Hamilton Graham and the Twin Cities wrestling camp, I forgot about the pain, the blues and the agony that you have to put in to swim in this shark infested sport of ours. Matches with barbed wire, scaffolds, people named Dave Pietka, what was I doin'? That's not me. That's not Dan Flores. But when I ended up in a body cast due to a bad landing, I started to remember who I was. I started to remember what I was all about. Hand to hand combat, the thrill of competition. The new puzzle that every match brings, the new problem to be solved. Working to perfect your craft, competing against the best in the world, _that's_ what Dan Flores is all about. That's who I am. [Flores throws the hat off screen, picking up his intensity.] DF: So I went back and refurbished. Went back to Minnesota, the Fertile Crescent of Wrestling. I trained with Hamilton Graham, I lost the weight. Got my shoulder back in working order. I went through all the pain and the blues and the agony to make sure I was _worthy_ to step foot in the wrestling ring, not the other way around. And maybe for a second I let up, I regressed. But getting pinned in my first match back, that cleared the cobwebs. That's not the reputation I want to put forth, that's not who I want the people and the fans of NWPW to see as Dan Flores. You only get one first impression, and I blew it, but I'll be sure to make the second time around count. And sure, hey, y'know, names change, people change, things change, Mox. But there are a few things about Dan Flores that won't ever change, no matter what alias the FBI creates for me. [Flores shrugs off the shirt and throws it off screen, now wearing just wrestling trunks.] DF: I'm _still_ the Last Scion of Wrestling's Fertile Crescent, the great state of Minnesota. I _still_ believe in the honor and integrity of wrestling, of sport. I _still_ am the master of the world's most dangerous submission hold, the nigh unbreakable Massey Prenup. And I'm still Dan Flores, and when we get in the ring, I'm gonna make you tap, nap or snap. [Microphone down, calming breath.] DF: And now we're properly introduced. [We cut back to the ring where Slick Nick is jawing at fans from the ring and getting some boos thrown his way.] CM: Inspired words from Dan Flores before his match tonight. RH: Yeah, yeah.. Chuck? CM: Roy? RH: Why wasn't Todd back there interviewing him? Is he on the toilet again?! CM: Ah.. I don't even want to know. Let's go to the ring! ********************** Dan Flores [6'2", 233lbs] vs Slick Nick [6', 225lbs] ********************** ["Dead and Bloated" by Stone Temple Pilots brought the crowd UP ON THEIR FEET as they POPPED for Dan Flores making his entrance! Slick Nick hurled insults towards Flores as he climbed in the ring. Flores ignored Nick which angered the "Slick" grappler who tried to jump Dan from behind but Flores dodged the attack and caught Nick with a drop toe hold! Nick scrambled to his feet only to get hit with a running neckbreaker and then a DEEEEP armdrag throw! Flores followed up with a snap suplex and then a side Russian legsweep! Nick desperately caught Flores with a poke to the eyes and then climbed to the top turnbuckle and jawed at the fans which gave Dan more than enough time to recover from the eye gouge and run up the turnbuckles and.. SONIC HIPTOSS off the top! Nick was in a bad way and it only got worse because Flores slapped on his MASSEY PRE-NUP Cobra Clutch submission with body vice! Slick had no choice but to immediately tap out!] W: Dan Flores CM: What an impressive win for Dan Flores! RH: He's just lucky he wasn't in there against a wrestling GOD like Felix Audiet! Now that's an impressive man! You wait til he comes out here later, Chuck! You'll testify to that! CM: Flores vs Audiet would be an amazing match! They're both known for their famous submission finishers. RH: Fake Broussard better hope and pray he never is standing across the ring from "Lockdown", Chuck! Felix will make mincemeat of him! CM: We could very well see that match up in a ring a few months from now at "A Night Like This" because the main event will be a RUMBLE with the winner being crowned the first ever New Wave Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion and ANYONE could face one another in that match! RH: Every man for himself indeed, Chuck. My prediction months off is that it will be a Tunney Family member holding the gold! CM: Speaking of the Tunney Family, coming up shortly we will see Chono Kajomi in action in the ring but right now let's go backstage! I understand that Todd Banks is backstage with Jackson Tolliver, let's go to him! RH: He's probably in the bathroom, Chuck! He's not going to be in any shape for doing an interview. CM: Let's go to Todd! [We cut backstage, where in front of the NWPW backdrop, stands the intrepid Todd Banks, the now much relieved reporter.] TB: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Todd Banks, bringing you an exclusive here tonight in the New Wave Pro Wrestling promotion. Tonight, the debut of a hot, new, young talent, from Biloxi, Mississippi and fresh from Olympic training, the incomparable, Jackson Tolliver. [From the right, a lean but well built young black man in a red singlet steps toward the reporter.] TB: Jackson Tolliver, welcome to New Wave Pro Wrestling. I understand you come to this company under unusual circumstances. Tolliver: Yes sir, I do. Ever since I was a young boy, all I ever wanted to do was wrestle in the Olympics. I spent years in school on wrestling teams. I trained hard every day. I passed all the requirements I needed to go to the World Games, but it wasn't enough for me. I wanted the Olympics! I wanted the biggest show in the world to try and be a gold winning wrestler. I found a trainer who put me into his program and we trained every day. Until the day he heard that the 2020 Olympics wouldn't allow wrestling in as an event. My trainer, Jeff Brackmann, went ballistic! He closed up shop and refused to train us anymore. Before I ever got started, my Olympic dreams were crushed! But I was approached to come and try out for NWPW and I was welcomed readily. When they told me that tonight, I would be facing "Bling King" Benny King. I couldn't believe what I saw. Well, that's not true. I've seen so many guys like him all throughout my life. All guys like him could do was taunt me for not being street like them. Not runnin' thug like them. Always on my way to train and be athletic. Not wasting my life in the streets and chasing after girls, booze and drugs. Bling King is no different. This guy prides himself on his jewelry. He holds his gold over everyone and tries to make himself look more important than he really is. But tonight, I'm going to show him how wrong he is. How hard work and determination win the day every day. Bling King, shine up your gold, because I'm taking it home with me and turning it into a gold medal. [Tolliver walks off.] TB: You heard it here, folks! Jackson Tolliver is set for action and he's going to take the Bling King's bling! Back to you Chuck and Roy! [We cut back to the announce table where you can observe the fans behind Chuck and Roy are watching the top of the entrance ramp with anticipation.] CM: Captivating and confident words from Jackson Tolliver who will be facing "Bling King" Benny King later tonight. RH: Captivating, Chuck, was Todd! Guess he made it to that bathroom during that last match! I hope he got it all out of his system. CM: I'm not very comfortable discussing all of that but cheer up, Roy! James Tunney is leading Chono Kajomi to the ring for our next match! RH: YES!! **************************** Chono Kajomi [6'5", 247lbs] vs Dr. Groovetown [6'2", 240lbs] **************************** [As Kajomi made his way to the ring he spotted a young fan with a sign for New Wave Pro Wrestling star Darkness and stopped to glare at the fan and the sign with disgust! Tunney noticed Chono wasn't with him and went back to get the Japanese Playboy and lead him to the ring. As handsome ring announcer Marvin Bloom introduced Dr. Groovetown to the fans Kajomi EXPLODED from across the ring SMASHING the funky grappler with a STIFF lariat into the corner and then began pummeling his opponent with hard shots one after another! The referee was going to step in but Tunney pulled him aside, insisting he was keeping the official out of harm's way while Kajomi laid in VICIOUS forearm blows across Groovetown's back! While the referee and Tunney argue, and the match still not officially started, Chono slammed Groovetown's face HARD into the turnbuckles then sprinted across the ring, dragging his foe with him, and slammed into the opposing corner! Kajomi scooped up the Doctor of Funk and hit a backbreaker across his knee and then snuck in a NASTY chop to the throat while Groovetown was over his knee! The referee pulled away from Tunney and then almost got nailed by Groovetown who was whipped into the corner where Kajomi followed up with a HUGE Avalanche! The funky grappler crumbled to the canvas, the referee called for the bell FINALLY officially starting the match! Chono pulled Groovetown up who fought back with a weak punch to the midsection which the Japanese Playboy ignored, hooked his opponent by the head, lifted him up in the air, dropped him across the top rope and then used the momentum from the bounce to hit his SAPPHIRE BUSTER slingshot brainbuster finisher! The 1, 2, 3 was academic!] W: Chono Kajomi [Kajomi rolls out of the ring and starts heading to the back, Tunney follows behind his charge but stops by a camera, points at his watch and announces "Fourteen seconds! That match was fourteen seconds. A new New Wave Pro Wrestling record! This man is unstoppable!" before going to the back with his charge.] RH: Did you see that Chuck? FOURTEEN SECONDS! CM: You are excising all the punishment he doled out before the match was started due to Tunney distracting the referee. RH: James Tunney was trying to PROTECT the referee, Chuck. AND.. Officially.. FOURTEEN SECONDS NEW RECORD! CM: Whatever. I'm being told that "Perfect Gentleman" Edgar Caspian and Miss Crystal are backstage with some comments! RH: Where is Todd? Is he on the toilet yet again?! CM: *shivers* Go backstage! [That all too familiar blue curtain appears, as always, “New Wave Pro Wrestling” is scrolled across it in orange. Pacing across the foreground is “The Perfect Gentleman” Edgar Caspian. Clearly with a lot on his mind, the paragon of proper manners finds himself walking in and out of the static shot. As Edgar stalks off to the left, Miss Crystal follows him into the frame. New Wave’s resident knockout is attempting to wipe a cream stain from her blue dress, while consoling the unpleasant European.] Crystal: It’ll be fine, Eddie! [Stopping on his heel, Caspian reenters the shot to face his gorgeous valet. Realizing that Crystal might be monopolizing the viewer’s attention, Edgar steps closer to the camera, so that his chiseled physique takes up most of the screen.] Caspian <over emoting>: How could it be fine? I forgot myself, giving into the moment I acted like a complete lout. To watch me out there, you would think that I was no better than Rowdy Rawlins! Crystal: ... Caspian <waits a few beats before deciding that Crystal has once again forgotten her que>: No, no, do not deny it... its kind of you to say that I am a million times better than that highly rowdy character, but the truth is... I lost my way. As a gentleman, it is not my place to give Calhoun a wake-up call. It was not very polite of me to poke fun at his obvious glandular condition. He is aware of it, without having me point it out. <aside> It is rather hard to miss. <back> So if you are watching this Jerry... <crocodile tear> you have my sincerest apologies if any of my comments offended or embarrassed you. I’m not proud of my behavior tonight. <wandering off> ...I guess... I guess nobody’s perfect. <striking a pose> ...But I come damn close! [Edgar turns to leave, then spins around on his heel. With the full turn, any sympathy in The Gentleman’s eyes melts away.] Caspian <shark eyes>: I apologize for acknowledging your DEEP character flaws, Double Down. Still, if you have a problem with my momentary lapse in gentlemanliness, then take it out on me. One on one! There was no call for you to ASSAULT <points> this wonderful woman! Did she do anything to you? DID SHE? To attack Miss Crystal so viciously, so brutally, so deliberately... you really are a horrible human being, Calhoun. You may have an enlarged heart from years of binge eating, but you are heartless in my book. Just because you are hideously ugly, are you compelled to destroy pretty things? Is that why you sullied Miss Crystal? Miss Crystal <stops wiping at the stain>: I think this will come right out, Eddie. Caspian <turning back>: NO IT WON’T, THAT TUB OF CRAP RUINED IT. <clearing throat, Edgar faces the camera with another forced smile> I have no idea why you hate women so much, Jerry. That is a discussion you need to have with your mother, or therapist, or the KFC drive-thru speaker you treat like a therapist. Why do you find women so contemptible? I have to assume it has something to do with your massive frame making dating difficult. <eyes narrow> All I know is, <striking another pose> I swear on my word as a Gentleman, that you will never treat a woman as shamefully as you treated this <pointing at Crystal> poor, innocent girl. Miss Crystal: It wasn’t so bad. [As Edgar slaps his palm to his forehead, we cut back to ringside.] CM: Edgar Caspian with some outrageous accusations towards Jerry Calhoun! RH: There is nothing outrageous about abuse of women, Chuck! CM: Jerry Calhoun did not do anything on purpose to Miss Crystal! RH: You don't call shoving a piece of pie maliciously and viciously into a defenseless woman's face doing something on purpose?! You are SICK, Chuck! CM: *sighs* Still no word on Keoni Tanaka. I do not know what will happen to our main event. RH: Don't they have his cell phone? Can't they call him? WE NEED HIM! CM: We'll have to wait and see what happens but let's go to the ring for our next match! ************************************* Caden Santos [6'2", 240lbs] vs Patrick The Tall Leprechaun [6'1", 235lbs] ************************************* [A man dressed like a leprechaun aka Patrick the Tall Leprechaun, danced around in a corner as "Princes of the Universe" by Queen heralded the entrance of "Dragon Spirit" Caden Santos! Santos leaped into the ring and motioned to the fans and Patrick took that moment to jump Santos from behind with wild punches pushing the man from Guam into the corner! Caden fired back with STIFF chops, sending the Tall Leprechaun reeling back with a dropkick sending the green man to the canvas! Santos followed through with a DEEP arm drag and a hip toss followed by a hard European uppercut sending Patrick down to the canvas! Caden scrambled up to the top and when his foe go to his feet he leaped off with a DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! The fans going wild, Dragon Spirit climbed to the top once again and leaped off... DRAGON'S DESCENT body splash off the top! The ref made the count, 1, 2, 3!] W: Caden Santos CM: A big win for Caden Santos! RH: Did we REALLY just see a leprechaun gimmick? CM: Local talent. Try not to think about it. RH: Oh brother. CM: Looks like Santos is going for the microphone, he has something to say! RH: *groan* Oh brother. [Santos asks for a microphone and Marvin Bloom hands him one and then Caden goes to the middle of the ring.] CS: ... I... UNGH! [YOWZA!] CM: WHAT THE ?! RH: HE'S ARRIVED! [Running through the crowd, leaping over the crowd barrier with the straps of his singlet down and a briefcase in his hands, "Pacific Perfection" Keoni Tanaka slides into the ring and FLOORS Santos from behind with a Running Clothesline!] CM: Keoni Tanaka has hit the ring through the crowd and is ATTACKING Caden Santos! RH: A hero! [Tanaka tosses the briefcase to a corner and then when Santos gets to his feet Pacific Perfection BLASTS him with a VICIOUS Spear! As Caden rolls around in pain on the canvas, Keoni climbs to the 2nd turnbuckle and leaps off...] [DANG! BOOS] CM: A BRUTAL Double Footstomp to the back of Santos' head! Caden looks OUT! RH: Of course he is, Chuck! It was PERFECTLY done! [Tanaka pulls the KO'd Dragon Spirit up and slings him over his shoulder, runs to the corner and SNAKE EYES Santos over the top turnbuckle!] RH: If he wasn't out before, he's DEFINITELY out now! [As the crowd rains BOOS down on Pacific Perfection he heads over to his briefcase and takes out two leis, both of them simple and green vines rather than flower leis. He walks back to the downed Santos, kneels down and lifts Santos up to a seated position and places one lei around Caden's neck and the other he puts upon his head like a wreath and then he lets Caden fall back to the canvas. Tanaka stands over Santos' prone body and.. BEGINS DOING A WAR DANCE filled with chanting!] [HUGE BOOS] CM: Keoni Tanaka, who everyone has been looking for and was believed missing, jumped Caden Santos after his match and has beaten him down and is now rubbing it in through this dance! RH: He's just proving his dominance over lesser beings, Chuck! He's Pacific Perfection and Mr. Dragon Spirit needs to respect that! CM: Santos has never said one word AGAINST Tanaka! RH: And now he never will! [After about thirty seconds of his dance Keoni looks down at Santos with a smirk and then rolls out of the ring and heads to the back as the crowd barrages him with BOOS!] CM: Unbelievable! Keoni Tanaka has SHOCKED everyone here tonight with this cowardly attack he has pulled off against Caden Santos! RH: There was NOTHING cowardly about that, Chuck! He did everything perfectly and Santos had no counter for it. CM: Yes, most people have no counter for being jumped from behind and attacked without any warnings whatsoever. RH: Exact- HEY! That's not what he did! CM: I am sure we will hear more about this later but right now we are going backstage to Todd Banks who is standing by with "Bling King" Benny King! RH: Finally got off the toilet eh? |
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| texanspaniard | Apr 23 2013, 06:00 PM Post #2 |
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The Luther Burger
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[Next to bald reporter Todd Banks, the Bling King's afro poofs out like fireworks. And his hair isn't even what draws the most attention. He's a bare-chested, glistening, jaw-droppingly ripped giant of a man whose principal article of clothing seems to be an excessive amount of ostentatiously gilded jewelry.] TB: Ladies and gent- BKBK (interrupting): Yo, sorry to cut you off, Carlton, but I gotta get somethin' off my chest. TB: Is it a comically large amount of chains? BKBK: You know I'm close to the streets, dig? But two weeks straight I been hearin' that people didn't like how things went down with the Mutt... or even whatserface girl. Now listen man, like, first off, my actions were miscon... misconstr...ucted. TB: Misconstrued? BKBK: Yeah you feel me! They totally miss truth. Miss truth the whole way! Like, okay... I unnerstan' I went a lil' bit above and beyawn with my appo-nant da Mutt. But you know how it is when you get excited, Carlton! Well, maybe not you but the rest of us, when the adrenaline's flowin' and you pumped? Can't stop an' dime, Body B! Not on the very first episode a New Wave Pro! TB: You're saying you viciously assaulted the Mutt because... you were over-excited? BKBK: You gotta put it in the proper context is what I'm gettin' at. TB: The context was that the match was over, and you attacked an unconscious opponent. BKBK: Stop playin' wit' my amotions, man! Context! Y'all makin' it sound way worse than it was. Gotta keep it real! TB: Just stating the facts. BKBK: Listen man, I know facts, OK? So here's a new fact ta consider; that ain't evah gone happen again, a'ight? I was pumped, Boo! I was a bit, uuh... ovah-zealous. Let's all turn a new leaf under the bridge, ya dig? It ain't evah gone happen again. [He bumps his oiled and sickeningly muscled chest.] BKBK: Word. TB: Moments ago, we've heard from Jackson Tolliver and... [While Todd Banks continues the interview, Benny King installs a portable projection screen that completely covers the NWPW banner.] TB: What's going on, here? [King then rolls out a laptop, connected to a projector.] BKBK: You know, Carlton, you gotta remember where you from, right? But that don't mean you gotta do innerviews in a ghetto set like this. When I slide on to the spot, I be pimpin' it proper! You know Power Point? TB: Who doesn't? BKBK: From the 80's to the year 2000 with one click! [The projector screen is filled with the blown up image of Benny King flexing his amazing musculature.] TB: We're in the 10's, now... BKBK: Look at how much better this place is lookin'! Mmm-mmm! So fine! So beautiful, so strong... and I went to the unaversity. Technology ain't got no secrets from me, rudderooni! Full scholarship, you feel me? Football team, too! TB: Ivy league? BKBK: Nah man, NCAA. TB: ... BKBK: So listen, man. You can tell Oliver Jackson I'm a proper athlete, too! Ain't nuthin' more legit. Don't believe me? [King steps close so his pectoral muscles are right in front of Todd's eyes.] BKBK: Look. [Pec dance.] BKBK: Looklook! TB (very uncomfortable): Very impressive. BKBK: Damn right! You know what don't compare none? Oliver Jackson's Olympics, man. [With a click, a photo of the girls of the Romanian women's gymnastics team fills the set.] BKBK: Really? [Click. Sailing.] BKBK: Really. [Click. Synchronized swimmers.] BKBK: Are you playin' games with my eye-piece, Olympics? [Click. Race walk.] BKBK: Yo, do I even need to explain this? Even their football's all phonky! [Click. Soccer. You know... the "real" football.] BKBK: I don't even know what _playbook_ they usin'! But when I jumped up to Oliver Jackson's "sport"? Nah. I ain't goin' there. I only know what the Good Book done tole me. [Click: "Leviticus 20:13"] TB: I think you don't- BKBK (interrupting): That deal's just chanky, man! I don't wanna judge, Oliver, but I can't help maself! I know I ain't gonna cast the first stone or nuthin', though. I'd only be throwin' the third or fourth one, something like that. But yeah, I'm judgin'. [Big eyes!] And I'll be judgin' when you slide on down to my ring. So you'd better bring peak game, B! [With another click, we revert to another glorious picture of King's extraordinarily shredded physique.] BKBK: I mean you see what you're up against, right? [Points to the large picture of himself behind him] All this bling up in here's on the line for a reason. I bring peak game to the ring, all sportsman like, so I expeck my appo-nants to bring it! You really think a nonce like you gone kipe my bling? That's mush, man! [He shakes his head.] BKBK: Top dog's the man with the GOLD, son! In N-Dubya-P, that man's the Bling King, the one and only Benny King! Tip! [Fade to Marvin Bloom in the middle of the ring.] MB: Ladies and gentlemen.. The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a BLING KING'S CHALLENGE MATCH! [SUPER OFFICIAL POP!] MB: Introducing first.. from Los Angeles, California.. Here is "Bling King".. BENNY KING! [After Marvin Bloom's introduction, "Bling Bing" Benny King slides down to the ring to an instrumental version of "Get Up" by Slaughterhouse wearing golden trunks, boots and bling. Lots of it.] MB: And his "challenger"... from Biloxi, Mississippi, Jackson Tolliver! [The arena is rocked by the patriotic notes of Jacob de Haan's "Cornfield Rock", and Jackson Tolliver walks out in his red white and blue amateur wrestling singlet, determination etched on his face. King ceremonially removes his bling and demands that the referee raise it high for all to see.] RH: Bling, that's what it's all about, and it's on the line again! CM: King may regret putting his gold on the line. Tolliver's an All American amateur wrestling champion! [While the referee checks both men, Benny King trash talks non-stop, but Tolliver has his game face on. The bell rings and with a show of brute power, King shoves Tolliver down on the mat and flexes over him, antics the crowd doesn't appreciate. Jackson gets to his feet and King goes for another shove, only this time Tolliver ducks, trips the bigger man and quickly gets in top position. King struggles to escape, but Tolliver stays on top with a waistlock, trapping a panicked King beneath him.] CM: Look at this! Tolliver in full control! [The amateur wrestler is in position of control, riding King like he's taming a wild bronco. The Bling King manages to escape and slides out of the ring, walking towards the back. He's had enough!] CM: King is out of here already? RH: I'm with him, he doesn't have to take this. [In the middle of the aisle, it dawns on Benny that he's forgotten his royal bling, and when he turns around, he's flattened by Tolliver's lariat! Fans fully behind him, Jackson shoves King back into the ring and continues the assault with a big European Uppercut! King stumbles into the rope, bounces back and Tolliver sends him crashing to the canvas with an arm drag! King struggles to his feet, and Tolliver strikes with a headbutt!] CM: AIE! [OH NO POP] RH: That backfired! [Tolliver crumples to the mat, knocked out by his own headbutt.] CM: What is Benny King's skull made of? RH: Cast iron, I believe. But it could be carbon steel. [King grins, trash talks down to his opponent as he emphatically points to his head. The Bling King leaps and lands a heavy leg drop onto Tolliver, hooks his leg and goes for a sloppy, self-entitled pin. After a count of two, Tolliver lifts an elbow and the match continues. Kings hoists the amateur wrestler up into a vertical lift...] RH: Look at that power! CM: King is showboating. RH: He should! [The delayed vertical suplex is delayed for too long! Tolliver breaks free and hooks the Bling King on his way down, deftly rolling him up in a small package!] [POP!] CM: Roll up! Out of nowhere! [The referee is in position... ONE! TWO! THR- [Deflated pop] CM: King powers out! RH: Thank goodness! CM: But WOW was that ever CLOSE! Benny King almost lost his bling! [King staggers to his feet, and Tolliver drop toe holds him to the mat, floats over to his opponent's boots. Jackson hooks King's heel under his forearm and grabs the toe of his boot with his other hand, and lifts his leg up into...] [BIG POP] CM: ANKLE LOCK! RH: King's trapped! CM: Trapped and in pain, Roy! Tolliver means business! RH: Think of the bling, King! THINK OF THE BLING!! [King crawls towards the ropes, but his hopes are dashed when Tolliver pulls him back to the middle of the ring. The referee kneels down, asking King if he's ready to give up.] [YOWZA HEEL POP] CM: LOW BLOW! King kicked up with his free leg! RH: Bet Tolliver hasn't heard that one in Greco-Roman class! CM: That's cheating! RH: Only if you get caught, and King knew where the referee was looking. CM: And he knew exactly where he was kicking, no doubt! [With Tolliver bent over, King connects with a knee lift to the face, headbutts Jackson for good measure and unceremoniously slams the Biloxi native into the unforgiving canvas!] CM: THE BIG CRUNCH! [King staggers around, still favoring his left ankle, and laboriously lifts himself up to the second turnbuckle. He boisterously taunts the crowd and leaps off... flies across the ring...] *CRASH* CM: Official Diving Headbutt! RH: This one's officially over. [The referee drops to his knees... ONE! TWO! THREE!] *DING DING DING* [BIG BOOS] [Of course, King isn't done. He rises to his knees, trash talking down to Tolliver while disrespectfully poking the unconscious man in the chest for emphasis. He lifts Jackson Tolliver over his shoulder again and slams him down with another powerslam!] RH: CRISPETY CRUNCH! [NOT COOL POP] CM: Hey, now! The match is over! [Benny King lifts himself up to sit on the top turnbuckle again, and the Indiana fans couldn't possibly be booing lounder! Once more, we have lift off!] RH: BANG! Another Official Diving Headbutt, in case things weren't official enough! CM: I can't believe you're enjoying this! Didn't King promise he'd never do this kind of thing again? RH: You're taking things out of context! CM: Out of context? King cheated to escape that ankle lock! Frankly, Tolliver deserves a rematch! RH: Sure, if he ever regains consciousness. [Picking Jackson Tolliver with utmost disrespect, Benny King tosses the Biloxi native over the top rope like a sanitation engineer throwing garbage into his truck. After Tolliver's especially nasty spill to the outside, King reclaims his precious bling with excessive fanfare and leaves the ring to thunderous boos.] RH: And the Bling Champion of the World remains undefeated! CM: Tolliver had him beat! If Benny King wants to pretend his bling is a championship, then he should give Jackson Tolliver a rematch. RH: Thankfully, you have no say in NWPW booking. [We cut to the announce table and we watch Roy take a drink of water and then..] RH: Ah, I feel so refreshed! What's up next? CM: Apparently Todd Banks is waiting over yonder out here inside the Genesis Convention Center to do a live interview with James Tunney and Chono Kajomi who had a big win earlier, so let's go to Todd! RH: I hope he can make it through without having to break for the potty! CM: *sighs* [The camera pans over the gathered crowd for a few moments as it settles in on a raised platform in the far corner of the floor. Three men stand on this platform, illuminated by the nearby lights and flanked on two sides by a row of NWPW fans, most of who are waving their arms, jumping up and down, and doing whatever they can to get on camera. One of the men, the lean and suit-clad Todd Banks, stands to one side. Opposite him, on the other side, is the one and only…thank God…James Tunney, who is wearing his finest Jos A Bank’s Executive Suit and a color-coordinated baseball cap. And behind the pair, his expression hidden behind a pair of Maui Jim sunglasses and his massive frame clad in a Kenzo Takada suit, Chono Kajomi, his arms crossed across his broad chest, stand motionless] TB: Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time are Mr. James Tunney, and the man who, along with Tiger Soul, notched up an impressive victory a few weeks ago and put on a dominating display earlier tonight, Mr. Chono Kajomi. [The crowd throws a chorus of solid boos in the direction of the two men. Kajomi shows no reaction, while James Tunney simply tugs on the lapels of his suit with a smug expression on his face] TB: Mr. Tunney, you asked for this interview time, so let me open with this. Last week saw an incredible display put on not only by Mr. Kajomi, but by your other two charges, Mr. Edward Marley and Felix Audet. While Mr. Kajomi put a notch in the win column for the Tunney Family, Mr. Marley and Mr. Audet were disqualified after attacking Caden Santos and Sinister with a steel chair during their main event matchup. What are your thoughts on the actions of the men you currently have under contract? JT: Now that is a great question, Todd. It has all the facts, it lays out the scenario, and it asks a direct inquiry with no room for misdirection. So, allow me to respond as such; I am extremely proud of the three men that I am HONORED to manage here in NWPW, and I fully endorse the actions that they have undertaken! [The crowd boos again as Banks, a shocked look on his face, responds] TB: Mr. Tunney, how can you endorse their actions? Not only did your men use a foreign object in an attempt to permanently injure two NWPW superstars, but earlier tonight, this man right behind us, Chono Kajomi, absolutely destroyed his opponent before the match even began! JT: Todd, there is a saying by a once-great woman that I’m going to paraphrase; if you have to tell people you’re powerful, you’re not. Ever since this federation has opened its doors, not too long ago, we’ve already had nearly everyone on this roster running their mouth explaining just how great they are, and how they’re going to take NPWP by storm. So what does the Tunney Family do? They ACT. They back up what they say. Look at Felix Audiet and Edward Marley. In no uncertain terms that even the simpletons here in Gary, Indiana can understand… [HOMETOWN BOOS!] JT: Hey, don’t get mad at me, anyone with a quarter of a functioning brain up and moved to Chicago or Indianapolis a long time ago! [OTHER CITIES BOOS!] JT: In no uncertain terms, Todd, they told that seven-foot freak Sinister that this isn’t Sun Valley. This is Tunney Family turf, and if Sinister wants to just walk in here and act like he owns the place, then he’s going to find out just how hard it is strut around with two broken knees! [More boos, but Tunney, as always, ignores them. He turns and points to the Japanese Playboy behind him] JT: Now, Todd, this man, this man right here…he hasn’t said one word since he’s arrived in NWPW, but everyone knows exactly who he is and what he’s capable of. That’s the definition of greatness. Everything that Chono Kajomi has done in that ring has said all that needs to be said. He single handedly beat Dan Flores and Darkness last week… TB: I think Tiger Soul would have something to say about that, as he was the one who scored the pinfall over Dan Flores! JT: If he does, then he can take it up with me during my office hours, which occur promptly at “I Don’t Give A Damn” o’clock! He knows the score, and so does everyone else. Chono Kajomi comes from a fine pedigree of Japanese wrestlers, going back to the 1950’s! You say the name “Kajomi” in Japan and people know it means “champion!” When Kajomi wanted to come to America, it didn’t take a genius…it helps that I am one, however…to know that he belonged under my wing! He belonged with great men like Felix Audiet and Robert Marley, and I will say this, right now, one of these men, Audiet, Marley, or this man right behind me, will be the inaugural NPWP Champion at the conclusion of “A Night Like This” and will walk out of Hershey holding that title belt high about their head! TB: A very bold statement from James Tunney, ladies and gentlemen! Mr. Tunney, you obviously don’t think very much of the competition here in NWPW. JT: No sir, I do not. TB: So you don’t care very much for men like Sinister, or Jon Rawlins, or Keoni Tanaka, or the man that Chono Kajomi brawled with, Darkness… [At the mention of Darkness, Chono Kajomi moves his head. As he stares at Todd Banks from behind his sunglasses, James Tunney puts a hand up to interrupt the interviewer] JT: Darkness? A man? Please. Darkness isn’t a man. He’s a comic book character! Seriously, he overcame his fear of the dark? That’s the great accomplishment in his life? Then he shouldn’t be a professional wrestler, he should be out there fighting crime with Batman! I will say this, right now, and you can put that camera on me and record this for high-definition posterity. Darkness is a joke. You think a man like Chono Kajomi is afraid of the dark? If Darkness wants to say something to Chono Kajomi’s face and not just assault him from behind and cause him to almost be counted out during his NWPW debut match, then I ask him…no, I IMPLORE him…to come out here and… [The lights go out in mid-sentence. For a few seconds, there's nothing to see and only confusion can be heard from Todd and James. A moment later, the lights come back on. The platform is still there. James Tunney is still on the right, Todd Banks is still on the left, and Chono Kajomi is still standing in the back. But in the front and center, the microphone in hand, his back to the crowd and looking right into the face of Chono, is Darkness. Chono has a height advantage, and looks down at the smaller wrestler. You can't see Darkness' face, but there is clear anger in his voice as he speaks.] Darkness: Tunney just now invited me, so I had to accept. I saw your work earlier, Chono. Attacking a man from behind before the bell. An easy win. A CHEAP win. The kind that a man who's afraid of a fair fight would take. That's the type of men both Tunney and Chono are. I'm willing to challenge you face to face, because I know... I KNOW... you don't have the heart to do the same. [Darkness gives a derisive laugh, and he and Chono continue to stare at each other] Darkness: Tunney says the "Kajomi" means "Champion". But from what I've seen, both last week and today... [Darkness reaches over and pokes Chono in the chest] Darkness: "Kajomi" must mean "Weak Coward". [As Kajomi looks down at the finger in his chest, the crowd gives a low, quiet “ooooooooooh” vibe…right before Kajomi uses one hand to slap the finger away, and the other to drive a fist right into Darkness’ face! But Darkness ducks, and as Kajomi turns around, Darkness lifts a foot and uses it to kick Kajomi off of the platform! Tunney is instantly irate as Kajomi lands on his feet, stumbling a little bit as he turns back around… ... just in time to see Darkness launching himself with a moonsault! Darkness lands on Kajomi and drives them both back off the platform and onto the concrete. The fans stand and move to get a better look as Darkness and Kajomi exchange punches on the ground. Kajomi is bigger but had taken the brunt of the moonsault, and is clearly in trouble! Jack Tunney, having leapt from the podium comes up from behind and begins trying to pull Chono out of the brawl. Darkness has grabbed the collar of Chono's suit and continues to fire off forearms and fists at the Japanese superstar, and Kajomi responds with a rake to the eyes of Darkness…] *RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP* …and, as Darkness staggers away, he pulls a swath of wool from the collar and shoulders of Kajomi’s suit! The crowd erupts at the wardrobe damage as Kajomi looks at the rip in his suit, and then back at Darkness, who is shaking the cobwebs and blinking his eyes. As Kajomi begins to advance towards Darkness, he’s stopped by a flood of security! The black-clad men quickly fill the space between Kajomi and Darkness, doing their best to keep them apart…and with Tunney holding Kajomi back, they succeed. The crowd is cheering at this point, chanting for security to let the two men fight, but the moment has passed. Kajomi pulls himself out of Tunney’s grasp. He shakes his shoulders, and stares over the line of security at Darkness- then reaches up to his face, realizing that his Maui Jim sunglasses aren't on his face. He points to the ground, where they clearly lie... ... in two parts. Seeing his sunglasses broken, a furious Kajomi attempts to charge at Darkness, and it takes almost all of the security team, plus Jim Tunney, to hold him back. Darkness, for his part, is motioning for security to back away and for Kajomi to continue their fight. As Tunney and the Security team finally convince Kajomi to back away, Darkness picks up the two pieces of the sunglasses and hands them out to the audience. Darkness and Kajomi continue to stare at each other as the camera heads back to the announcers.] CM: OH MY! Things have REALLY kicked off here between Chono Kajomi and Darkness! RH: Did you SEE what that Darkness punk did?! He assaulted Chono Kajomi and destroyed his expensive clothes! He should be fired and sued! CM: Kajomi went to attack him first! RH: WHAT? That is SLANDER and an outright LIE, Chuck! YOU might end up sued for that! CM: I doubt that but oddly enough out of all this is Darkness has to settle down and head to the ring for his match which is up next! RH: He should be recieving a pink slip, not getting MORE time in the ring! CM: Let's go to the ring! ************************ Darkness [5'11", 222lbs] vs "Acorn" Squash [5'10", 200lbs] ************************ [Acorn, dressed in his green trunks and white boots, warmed up in the ring while Darkness walked away from the scene of his incident with Kajomi then stopped and... *BNK* The lights go out! *GASP* Only to come back on with Darkness seated on the top turnbuckle! As the match got underway Acorn kept going for wild swings of his right hand and Darkness easily avoided the blows and landed a series of chops which had Squash reeling! Darkness went for an Irish whip but Acorn reversed sending the masked man into the ropes but when Squash went for a Back Bodydrop Darkness landed on his feet and hit a HIGH AIR DROPKICK from behind sending his opponent into a corner! Darkness motioned to the cheering fans only to be grabbed by Acorn and whipped towards the opposite corner.. But the masked man reversed the whip and sent Squash into the corner hard! Darkness followed up with another series of chops that left Acorn stumbling out of the corner and dropping down to one knee. Darkness, with unbelievable speed, sprinted off the ropes and stepped up off of Acorn's knee and hit a HARD Shining Wizard! Darkness pulled his opponent up only to bring him back down with a DDT!] CM: Darkness is on fire here tonight! RH: He should be FIRED though, Chuck, for what he did earlier! Someone call FFN up and get this clown out of here! Make sure he pays for destroying Kajomi's clothes though. [A desperate Acorn raked Darkness' masked face, staggering the fan favorite back. Squash then went for a front facelock and tried for a suplex but Darkness struggled free and landed on his feet and when Acorn spun around.. LIGHTS OUT SUPERKICK! Darkness covered for the 1, 2, 3!] W: Darkness CM: Even after getting into that altercation with Kajomi before his match Darkness was able to put on quite the show and get his hands raised in victory! RH: He should have his hand SLAPPED with a pink slip and a bill for property damage! IT'S NOT FAIR! [Darkness gives out high fives as he makes his way to the back until he comes up to the fans who he gave the remnants of Kajomi's expensive sunglasses, each fan wearing a half, and Darkness shook their hands and posed for pictures with them.] RH: YOU SEE THAT?! I thought Rawlins was a punk but this Darkness guy might be the REAL punk here! It's totally ridiculous and outrageous! CM: Whatever. I hear that Todd Banks is backstage with an update on the condition of Caden Santos so let's go to Todd! [We cut backstage to the NWPW banner and a very nervous and unhappy looking Todd Banks.] TB: Hey guys, I just visited with Caden Santos and the doctors backstage.. [Todd grimaces and looks at his stomach then soldiers on.] TB: He is recovering but seems REALLY angry! I tried to catch up with Keoni Tanaka but keep missing him... And.. ah... [Banks grimaces even more and makes a panicked look.] TB: And that's it for now! Back to you guys! [And with that Todd SPRINTS off screen and then we cut back to Morgan and Harper at the announce table.] RH: What happened?! I thought he got it all out of his system! CM: Let's not go there... RH: No doubt! I certainly don't want any updates on TODD's condition! EGADS! CM: Let's just head to the ring. ******************************** "Lockdown" Felix Audiet [6', 243lbs] vs Gus Hamilton [5'10", 215lbs] ******************************** ["Dream Is Collapsing" by Hans Zimmer announces the entrance of James Tunney and his charge from Montreal, Quebec, Canada.. Felix Audiet! Once in the ring Audiet DEMANDS the microphone from Marvin Bloom and then...] FA: If I can have your attention. *beat* Of COURSE I have your attention. I'm Felix Audiet, the best wrestler lacin' up boots today. You. You there. [Audiet points at Hamilton, who points at himself quizzically.] FA: No, you moron, your tag team partner! YES, YOU. Come here. [With clenched fists, Gus hesitantly walks up to Audiet. Felix very casually steps right in front of him.] FA: Kid, I've never seen you in my life, and I'll never see you again. But I don't feel quite right taking advantage of you. You take a look around you. A good, long look. All these people came here to see me. [BOO!] FA: They're booing for the same reason they boo the Yankees, the Lakers, the Cowboys, Man U, and all of the great franchises. Because they know that I'm exactly that: a franchise. A great franchise! They know that with Felix Audiet on the show, there's no room for doubt: I am everything they ever wanted to be, and knew that they couldn't be. So, let's look at you. Kid, you're so far over your head it's a miracle you didn't drown in the shower this morning. Now, I'm gonna give you the chance of a lifetime. The chance to walk out of the ring after stepping into it with me. I want you to look in my eyes. You come here, you step up to me, and you look me dead in the eyes. Don't you blink! You look me dead in the eyes and tell me that you can beat me. Tell the WORLD that you can beat me. Look me in the eyes and tell me that! Because you and I both know that's a joke. If you can't look me in the eyes and tell me that you can beat me, you step out of the ring right now, go to the back, and jump on the first train to Dallas, Kansas City, or Alabama... whoever'll have you. But if you got the guts to tell me man to man you can hang with me... you had. Better. Be. Right. [Hamilton looks around the ring as the fans are screaming and eging him on. Audiet impassively watches, twirling his finger over his wrist to indicate time... "hurry up and choose". Convinced, Gus steps up to Felix, and meets his gaze. Then he pauses, as Audiet's cold blue eyes are fixed upon his. The unnerving gaze takes Hamilton aback, but he recovers, takes a deep breath, and says it!] GH: I... I-I can beat you! [Huge cheer! Audiet remains unmoved.] FA: You can beat me? GH: I can do it! FA: Is that your final answer? GH: Yyyeaaaahh! FA: You're damn right it is. [And then Audiet socks him in the face with the house mic, with a loud BWUTHUMP that drops his young opponent. Jim Tunney can be seen laughing uproariously as the crowd boos with venom. The bell rings as Audiet throws the mic away.] CM: That was a cheap shot! RH: I'm pretty sure he is a hero to millions for doing that to a spud like Gus so in this case I think it was very justified. [Audiet went after Hamilton's leg VICIOUSLY! Kicks and elbow drops to the leg followed up with a kneebreaker and a Dragon Legwhip! Gus was rolling around holding his leg in horrible pain and the referee thought about stopping the match but Felix jumped on his opponent to keep up the assault and prevent a moment for Hamilton to give up! He hit a Scissor kneedrop and then and slapped on ANKLE MUTILATION! This painful modified Indian Deathlock had Hamilton HOWLING in pain but just before he was going to tap Felix broke the hold to the protests of the referee! Tunney got on the ref's case while Audiet applied a stepover toehold and began SLAPPING Gus repeatedly while asking him "How are you going to beat me?!" Lockdown pulled Gus up and appeared to be going for another kneebreaker but this time he spiked his foe's knee all the way to the canvas in his BRUTAL ACL move! Felix then pulled Gus up and went for a vertical suplex.. But... Hamilton escaped and went for an INSIDE CRADLE ROLL UP!] [SHOCK POP] CM: Hamilton with a roll up.. ONE... TWO.. THR-AUDIET KICKED OUT! [DEFLATED POP] RH: He pulled on the tights, DQ that man ref! [A slightly embarassed and VERY angry Audiet WASTED Hamilton with a STIFF European Uppercut then hooked him and hit.. RUNNING VERTICAL SUPLEX! A trademark of Felix's father James! Felix yells in Gus' face, asking him where his confidence has gone and then goes to work on Hamilton's knee some more leading to HORRIBLE cries of pain from Gus! The referee threatens to stop the match and Audiet quickly transitions into his BACK TO SCHOOL Figure Four Leglock! Hamilton taps out right away!] W: Felix Audiet [HUGE BOOS] CM: Now c'mon! Audiet has won the match but he won't release the hold! RH: He has to make Hamilton pay for pulling those tights earlier, Chuck! [As Felix punishes Gus with the Back to School he yells at him!] FA: "I thought you could beat me?! You lied to the world! You lied to yourself! I warned you! I gave you the chance! Never tell them I didn't give you the chance! This is on you!" CM: This is ridiculous! RH: I agree. Tunney should be in here stomping on Hamilton's head while this goes on. [The referee threatens to REVERSE the decision and that forces Audiet to break the hold. As Marvin Bloom announces Felix as the winner Audiet and Tunney corner the handsome ring announcer and drag him over to Hamilton and DEMAND he bend down and announce it one more time, only in Gus' face!] [MEGA BOOS] CM: Now they're strong arming poor Marvin! RH: Well, Marvin may not have money but he sure has the looks. CM: You've been checking out Marvin?! RH: That's not what I meant! GAH LEE! CM: This is totally disgraceful what Audiet has done here tonight! Compare this to the classy performance of Dan Flores earlier in the night and.. RH: WOAH! Hold up! You were going on about Audiet during Flores' match and now you're going on about the fake Broussard during Audiet's match! Don't EVER compare a putz like Flores to a wrestling GAWD like Audiet! CM: *sighs* Fans we're going to cut away from this to watch a special promo video! |
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| texanspaniard | Apr 23 2013, 06:01 PM Post #3 |
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The Luther Burger
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[We cut to a studio shot of a darkened room with a wrestling ring in the middle of it and inside the ring is a wooden stool with a microphone laying on top of it.] Voice Over: There are so many stories and news that goes uncovered in New Wave Pro Wrestling because the right person isn't around to bring them to the light. [We zoom in closer to the stool & microphone.] V/O: But that problem will be resolved starting on the next episode of Revolution. And for a job like this you don't just get ANYONE for the job! [We zoom in so close that when we see someone enter the ring all we see are a pair of men's legs dressed up in a suit.] V/O: When you need a PRO... You get... [A hand picks up the microphone and we pan up someone in a suit to see a blue masked face.] Masked Man: A MASKED BRO! [Yep. We pull back to take in all of Masked Maniac in a suit and he begins doing pelvic thrusts!] MM: UNGH! UNGH! V/O: BRO-DOWN is coming to Revolution! [We fade away from pelvic thrusting Masked Maniac to the stunned faces of Chuck Morgan and Roy Harper.] RH: They... Gave him his own.. Talk show?! CM: I.. I guess so! RH: And it's called Bro-Down? CM: Ah.. Sure! [Roy shakes his head in despair.] RH: God help us. [Morgan nods in sad agreement then soldiers on.] CM: Let's go to the ring! *************************************** "Sidewinder" Edward Marley [6'6", 250lbs] vs "Creamed Corn Fan" Earl Neville [5'10", 220lbs] *************************************** ["Creamed Corn", formerly "NASCAR Fan", Earl Neville dressed in a yellow jumpsuit tries to sell the fans that he really loves the cans of creamed corn he has with him. Fans are relieved and POP, surprisingly, when James Tunney leads "Sidewinder" Edward Marley out to the ring! Once in the ring Tunney asks to see one of the cans of creamed corn. Neville hands it to him and Tunney proceeds to throw it out of the ring! Earl goes running after it only to be jumped from behind by Marley! Sidewinder beats Neville down with hard shots and a STIFF back elbow before hitting SERPENT'S STRIKE, full nelson legsweep slam! Tunney shouts encouragements as Marley pulls his corny opponent to his feet and hits a STIFF Shortarm Clothesline! Ed glares down at his foe then pulls him up and quickly hits.. SNAKEBITE! The 1, 2, 3 follows after the rolling cutter finisher!] W: Edward Marley CM: An impressive win for Edward Marley after his disgusting actions at the end of our last show. RH: Disgusting?! They were AWESOME and Sinister, no matter what big words he said earlier, is no doubt happy he wasn't "Creamed Corn Fan" tonight! CM: *rolls eyes* Well coming up next is our big main event so let's go to Marvin Bloom inside the ring! *DING* MB: Ladies and Gentlemen.. The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is our MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! [HUGE POP] ***************************************************************************** MAIN EVENT: Jerry "Double Wide" Calhoun & "Rowdy" Jon Rawlins [6'4", 462lbs] [5'10", 228lbs] vs "Perfect Gentleman" Edgar Caspian & "Pacific Perfection" Keoni Tanaka [6'1", 215lbs] [6'1", 220lbs] ***************************************************************************** [Marvin Bloom makes the introductions and out comes "Perfect Gentleman" Edgar Caspian with Miss Crystal and "Pacific Perfection" Keoni Tanaka to lots of BOOS! Some fans reach out to give high fives to Miss Crystal, who's dress has the stains of the pie, but Caspian keeps her close to his side and won't let any fans touch her.] CM: I am being told that Todd Banks is making a mad dash.. RH: CHUCK! No one wants to know where he is making a mad dash to! That is disgus- CM: Out here, Roy! RH: WHAT?! EGADS! Todd is going to use the bathroom OUT HERE?! No one wants to see that! CM: *sighs* Not to use the bathroom, Roy! He's going to get a word with Pacific Perfection! RH: Oh! I hope he doesn't give any germs to Tanaka, Caspian or poor Miss Crystal who's already been abused tonight with pies! Getting some Todd cooties on top of it all would be awful! [The fans are still buzzing, and the West Coast hip hop of Fortilive is still playing as Keoni Tanaka makes his entrance. No one was quite sure, even after his earlier attack, if he'd even make this match and they're all letting him know they'd rather he hadn't, hurling boos and verbal abuse down on the Hawaiian. Tanaka ignores it all, his only reaction a quick nod of courtesy to his partner tonight, Edgar Caspian. His only reaction, that is, until Todd Banks runs out into the aisle, desperately trying to catch up with Pacific Perfection.] TB: Mr. Tanaka... (pant, wheeze)... Mr. Tanaka! [Tanaka stops for a moment, looking back at our reporter with a look of impatience, but he does allow him to catch up.] TB: If I may be frank, your actions tonight have left us all stunned! First, you... [Tanaka puts a hand up, right in the face of Banks, just an inch or two away from him. Silenced by this obvious gesture of disrespect, Banks stands in place and waits to see what's coming next. Tanaka makes him wait for an uncomfortable few seconds, before grabbing the microphone with his left hand - still leaving the right up in Banks' personal space - and pushing it up into position for him to speak, not caring if the angle of Banks' arm is comfortable to him.] KT: What you see tonight, Todd, is what a main event should be. You see a Perfect Wrestler and a Perfect Gentleman, what I like to call the Perfect Team. You see the level of excellence, the dedication to craft, the desire to be all that a man can be. THAT, Todd, that is what type of man belongs in the main event. That is where I belong, that is where my friend Edgar Caspian belongs. [Caspian smiles at the kind comments from his partner for tonight.] KT: Caden Santos... [Tanaka has to stop, the mere mention of Santos' name causing the crowd to react with cheers and chants.] KT: SHUT UP! [Well, if he wanted the fans to momentarily stop cheering for Santos, that worked. If he wanted them to quiet down, he went exactly the wrong route, as they've switched to a loud and insistent booing which both Tanaka and Banks have to wait out over several seconds.] KT: Caden Santos was stepping into a world where he didn't belong. He accepted a spot in the main event last month... a spot he didn't deserve. A spot that belongs to Perfection. So, to put it simply, I needed to set an example, an example to anyone who thinks they can rise up to challenge my rightful place in this company. It's the same example I'm going to show this so-called "Rowdy" rookie and that tub of goo Calhoun tonight, with some help from my Perfect teammate. It's the same thing anyone should expect when they try to climb to the mountaintop... those of us already up there will knock you back down. [Tanaka has finally dropped his hand from in front of Banks' face, which our intrepid reporter takes as a chance to ask a question.] TB: There are many who said that Caden Santos' performance in that tag team match was nothing short of- [Once again, Banks is being rudely cut off.] KT: The main event is a place for Perfection, Todd. You've seen what I do to people who stick their nose into the main event where it doesn't belong. Now ask yourself, Todd... are you a Perfect reporter? Is you question Perfect? And what will I do to you if it isn't? [Banks takes only a second to consider that veiled threat, and decides not to test it. He backs off with as much dignity as he can, Tanaka smirking at him as he leaves and then turning back to the ring and to the task at hand in this huge main event.] RH: Todd sure has some nerve! Asking such ridiculous questions! [As Banks heads to the back he starts grimacing, looking down at his stomach, and then RACES backstage.] RH: What is wrong with that man's stomach?! CM: Just.. Just don't shake his hand, Roy. RH: I wouldn't even if he was healthy! [The crowd's mood drastically changes when Jerry Calhoun & Jon Rawlin come out to the ring! The fans are very receptive to Double Wide but he seems distracted, focusing on Miss Crystal in the ring. Rawlins jumps in and enhtusiastically gives out the high fives to the fans reaching out for Calhoun!] RH: Did I mention that I really dislike Rawlins? CM: Roy.. RH: Look at him! He's even leaching off the adulation of his bumpkin partner! He's too desperate for the fans attention! That's why he's sticking his nose in everyone's business! CM: He's a young rookie trying to connect with the fans! RH: He's trying too hard! [As Calhoun enters the ring he approaches Miss Crystal and begins apologizing about the pie in the face earlier.. But Caspian pulls her behind him and stands between them and puffs up his chest and shoos Double Wide away!] [LOUD BOOS] CM: C'mon! Calhoun was trying to apologize! RH: He was rubbing the traumatic incident even further into the poor girl's face, Chuck! Thank GOODNESS for Edgar Caspian! Thank the stars that there is a Perfect Gentleman around to protect her! CM: She was in no danger, Roy! Jerry was trying to APOLOGIZE! RH: If he was truly sorry he'd get down on his KNEES! That would be an apology! This was taunting and terrifying! [With all the parties in the ring, the ref checks everyone for weapons, Miss Crystal goes to the outside and the match is ready to start!] *DING* [BIG POP] CM: And the main event is OFFICIALLY UNDERWAY! RH: Knew it was coming. Knew I couldn't avoid it. *Sobs* [Rawlins is jumping up and down, ready to start the match, but Calhoun huddles with him and Jon takes Jerry's lead and goes to the apron so Double Wide can start the match. Tanaka and Caspian huddle a bit and then Edgar acts like he wants nothing better than to get him a piece of Jerry Calhoun but then is quick to take up Keoni's offer to calm down and let Pacific Perfection start the match. Early on Calhou and Tanaka circled one another then locked up only for Tanaka to slap on a side headlock and flash his arrogant smile and declare "That's how you do it!" to the applause of Caspian but Calhoun grabbged Keoni and lifted him HIGH in the air and TOSSED him in an Atomic Throw and Pacific Perfection threw a fit and glared at his opponent! He charges and locks up with Double Wide again but Jerry grabs him by the arm and whips him into a corner with Tanaka taking a BIG back bump! Calhoun charges for.. STONE MOUNTAIN AVALANCHE.. But Keoni moves out of the way just in time and flashes his smile and points to his head telling the fans how smart he is. Pacific Perfection then turns around to eat a BIG RIGHT HAND from Double Wide sending Tanaka to the canvas then scrambling to his corner!] CM: What a big right hand by Jerry Calhoun! RH: That was an illegal move, Chuck! The referee should disqualify Tubby for that and reward the Perfect Team with the win! Go on ref! Make it so! [Tanaka tags in Caspian and the Perfect Gentleman climbs into the ring cautiously at first but then he sees Calhoun head over to the ropes and trying to apologize to Miss Crystal. Oh no he didn't! Caspian became ENRAGED, charging over to Calhoun and SHOVING him and announcing he would not let Double Wide assault Crystal further! Calhoun took exception to this and SHOVED Edgar back, who went FLYING backwards landing on his butt! Caspian had a look of shock and scrambled to his feet only to be scooped up and SLAMMED DOWN with a BIG body slam! The Perfect Gentleman pulled himself up with the ropes only to get sent FLYING over the ropes and out to the floor outside via HUGE clothesline from Jerry Calhoun!] [HUGE POP] CM: What a clothesline! Caspian was sent flying from the ring! RH: That was also illegal, Chuck. CM: No it was no- RH: Yes it was! Jerry is cheating so hard in this match! I shouldn't be surprised since he is such a ruffian to women! Why would he respect rules? [Caspian pulls himself up, hops on the ring apron and wipes his boots and is about to reenter the ring.. Only to get sent FLYING off with a running Shoulder Block by Calhoun! The Perfect Gentleman flashes an angry glare up at Calhoun in the ring, made even more frustrated when he sees Calhoun trying to apologize to Crystal again! Caspian scrambles up and onto the ring apron, begins wiping his feet once again and then.. Jerry sends him FLYING off ONCE MORE via a big forearm blow!] [BIG POP] RH: This is OUTRAGEOUS! The ref should be DQ-ing Calhoun all over the place! CM: Settle down, Roy. RH: I WILL NOT! [Roy isn't the only one outraged, Caspian is holding his jaw in pain and looking up incredulously at Double Wide! Caspian climbs onto the apron again, once more cleans his boots and is about to enter when a HEADBUTT sends him FLYING to the floor once again! Fans are LOVING IT! But Tanaka complains to the referee and the official orders Calhoun to allow Caspian to enter the ring.] RH: Finally the ref is doing some resemblance of his job! [Caspian enters the ring while Calhoun walks over to his corner and tags in Rawlins. Jon leaps into the ring, a big smile on his face, and is hopping around ready to get in on the action. Edgar looks Rawlins over then looks over at his partner and the Perfect Team both begin to LAUGH! The Perfect Gentleman calms down and goes to lock up with Rawlins and is surprised when Rawlins slaps a tight headlock on him! Caspian tries to get out but can't and resolves to grab the ropes forcing the break. Once Rawlins gives the break, Caspian accuses him of pulling his hair. Jon argues that he didn't do that and Caspian takes that moment to try and sneak in a cheap shot but Rawlins ducks and catches Caspian by the wrist and uses the momentum to transition into a CHICKENWING HOLD WITH BODY SCISSORS! Caspain FLAILS around wildly and thankfully for him Tanaka leaps into the ring and boots Rawlins in the head to break the hold!] CM: Oh c'mon, now! Rawlins had Caspian there! RH: Who are you trying to fool, Chuck? Jon Rawlins will never "have" anyone! [Caspian scrambles over and tags in Pacific Perfection who leaps into the ring and is all over the young rookie, Rawlins! Tanaka corners Rawlins and is unleashing a barrage of punches on him when the referee puts a count on him. Tanaka stops his assaut and begins arguing with the referee about it while Rawlins recovers. Keoni really gets into it with the ref and when he finally tires of mouthing off to the official he turns around only to eat a SPRINGBOARD SHOULDER TACKLE from Rawlins!] [BIG POP] CM: What a move by Rawlins! RH: I would not call pulling tights and eye gouging a move, Chuck. CM: Huh? Rawlins didn't do any of that! RH: Your eyes are just bad. Everyone but you and the ref saw it! [Jon mentions something to his partner and Double Wide nods with a smile, climbs into the ring and picks up his own partner! Calhoun Gorilla Presses Rawlins high up into the air and then.. slams him ontop of Tanaka! Jerry climbs out of the ring as Rawlins attempts the pinfall but Pacific Perfection manages to kick out at two! The Rowdy one tags in Double Wide and Calhoun stalks after Tanaka. Keoni takes a wild swing but Jerry dodges it and ROCKS Tanaka with a right hand but Caspian reaches into the ring to slap Calhoun from behind! Jerry turns to take a jab at Caspian and Tanaka takes the opening to boot the big man in the midsection, doubling him over and then hitting his LEGDROP BULLDOG on the big man!] [BOOS] RH: Did you see that great teamwork there? CM: I saw cheating to create an opening. RH: It was PERFECT teamwork, not cheating! [Keoni tags in Caspian and the two huddle briefly then nod and set a plan in motion. Tanaka kneels behind a rising Jerry Calhoun while Edgar runs off the ropes and charges to shove Double Wide over.. Calhoun is caught off balance and falls.. TO A SEATED POSITION SQUASHING TANAKA UNDER HIM!] [HUGE POP] RH: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! CM: Pacific Perfection may be a perfect pancake! RH: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [Jerry rolls off of Tanaka who is flailing and rolling around in pain! Caspian checks on him only to hear a bunch of angry comments from his partner! Edgar pops to his feet, wagging his finger at Calhoun, who FLOORS the Perfect Gentleman with a BIG right hand! Tanaka rolls out of the ring and flops around on the floor in pain while Miss Crystal watches on with worry as Calhoun scoops up Caspian and drags him to his corner and tags in Rawlins. Jerry then slams Edgar down and Rawlins leaps over the ropes and hits a legdrop on the Perfect Gentleman! Caspian struggles to his feet and then eats a DROPKICK from Rawlins which sends the Englishman out of the ring! Caspian gets to his feet and then spots a rather busty female fan at ringside. Edgar fixes himself up and walks over to her and tries to start a conversation. She doesn't seem very interested but does try to warn Edgar to turn around. Caspian pays no mind and then gets a tap on his shoulder to which he turns around to find Jerry Calhoun who grabs him by his throat, pulls him away from the fan (who is now cheering like crazy) and picks him up in a Gorilla Press, walks over to the ropes and TOSSES Caspian back into the ring through the ropes!] [HUGE POP] RH: He's trying to kill Edgar's action! That is NOT cool! CM: Doesn't Caspian have Miss Crystal? Why is he flirting with.. RH: He was merely making conversation with fans. Trying to connect like you say Rawlins is always desperately trying to do! [Rawlins whips Caspian into a corner and then tells Calhoun a plan of his. Jerry is actually kind of hesitant about the plan but Jon insists it will be "Awesome!" So Jerry climbs into the ring and grabs Rawlins by his arm and whips him HARD into the corner going for a leaping elbow mash... But unfortunately for Rawlins CASPIAN MOVES OUT OF THE WAY and Rawlins WIPES OUT!] CM: Rawlins’ plan backfired on him! RH: Surprise! What a shocker. [Calhoun hangs his head low at the attack not working out while Caspian quickly tags in Pacific Perfection who leaps in and catches the stunned Rawlins with a HARD Running Knee Lift! Tanaka watches as Jon struggles to his feet and then he hits ANOTHER hard Running Knee lift! Keoni quickly pulls Rawlins to his feet and in one graceful, some would say perfect, motion hits a CRISP Side Russian Legsweep!] RH: Did you see that, Chuck? Such PERFECT execution! CM: Indeed and now Rawlins is in a lot of trouble! RH: This should get good now! [Keoni walks over towards Calhoun and SPITS at him! This ticks the big man off and he tries to scramble into the ring but the referee jumps in between them. While this is happening Caspian reaches through the ropes and is STRANGLING poor Jon Rawlins with both of his hands! Tanaka looks back at his partner's handy work and gives a thumbs up and Caspian breaks off his attack and Tanaka heads back to his corner while Calhoun finally goes back to the apron but not without complaining to the ref about their opponents' tactics. Keoni drags Rawlins out of their corner and goes for a pin! Double Wide scrambles in to break up the pin but Caspian leaps in and hits a Drop Toe Hold on the big man sending him down... ON TOP OF RAWLINS as Tanaka moved out of the way allowing Calhoun to SQUASH his own partner! Jerry gets to his knees and grabs his hair in frustration at what just happened and the referee orders him to the apron while Tanaka and Caspian, since the ref is distracted, take to STOMPING AWAY on Rawlins!] [HUGE BOOS] CM: These fans are not fond of the dirty tricks Caspian and Tanaka are doing here! RH: These fans don't know anything, Chuck! They're getting a display of PERFECT TAG TEAMING and they're booing instead of sopping it up like gravy on a plate with a biscuit! CM: ... Are you still thinking about the Fried Chicken that Calhoun mentioned on our first show? RH: ... NOW I am! Darn him! [Tanaka tags in Caspian and the Perfect Gentleman proceeds to yank up Rawlins to his feet and hit a Snap Suplex! Edgar rolls out of the way and Keoni runs off the ropes and leaps up SUPER HIGH into the air and comes down with a BRUTAL elbow drop on Rawlins' chest! The young rookie rolls around in pain while Tanaka and Caspian high five and Pacific Perfection goes out onto the ring apron. The Perfect Gentleman whispsers something to his partner who nods his head and then he runs over to Jerry Calhoun and wags his finger at him and proceeds to lecture him about how to properly treat a woman and make a proper apology. Calhoun is ready to get in there but the referee comes over and the three of them engage in some arguing. This all works out nicely for Tanaka who climbs in the ring and grabbing the top rope proceeds to put all his weight down as he CHOKES RAWLINS WITH HIS BOOTS! Jon flails and gasps for air as Keoni steps on his throat but the referee can do nothing because he has no idea it's going on due to the distraction Caspian is creating in the other corner!] [HUGE BOOS] CM: This is disgusting! He is CHOKING poor Jon Rawlins with his feet! RH: The only thing disgusting going on here is Jerry Calhoun's belly rolls bouncing around as he argues with Caspian instead of learning the lessons that Edgar is trying to enrich his life with! [Pacific Perfection climbs back onto the apron, the damage done, as Rawlins rolls around coughing and gasping! Caspian slinks away towards the Rowdy one while the referee is still dealing with an angry Jerry Calhoun. Edgar takes that moment to pull Rawlins to his feet and hit a LOW BLOW, doubling the young man over as he grabs his groin! Edgar goes for a school boy roll up and Keoni yells out to the referee that a pin is going on! The referee turns to see the pin and races over and leaps into position...] ONE! CM: HEY! Caspian is grabbing the tights! TWO! RH: Quit making up lies, Chuck! THR- [POP] CM: Jon Rawlins managed to kick out just in time! RH: BOO! [Caspian complains that the referee counted too slow but the ref maintains it's only two! Calhoun in his corner begins to clap his hands and stomp his feet and leads the crowd into chanting "RAWLINS! RAWLINS! RAWLINS!" The crowd is lukewarm to the chant at first but they warm up to it because of the passion of Calhoun and soon the chant is going strong!] RH: Oh give me a break! These fans do not realize the damage they are doing! CM: What damage are they doing, Roy? RH: Rawlins is going to hear this chant and think that it's for him when really the fans are chanting because they like Tubby Calhoun for whatever reason! They're going to feed into Jon's delusions! He will become even MORE insufferable! [Edgar complains to the referee about the chanting then tags in Pacific Perfection. Tanaka leaps in and stomps at Rawlins who DOES hear the fans and tries to do a little fist pump, feeding off their chanting, but Tanaka tries to squelch that with more stomps! Keoni pulls Rawlins up and goes for a vertical suplex.. But Jon struggles free and lands behind Tanaka, leaps up and grabs Keoni's shoulders.. TO HIT HIS GATECRASHER LUNGBLOWER!] [BIG POP] CM: Jon Rawlins just hit the Gatecrasher on Tanaka! He HAS to make the tag to Calhoun NOW! RH: He pulled on Keoni's hair! It should be a disqualification! COME ON REF DQ THAT MAN! [Tanaka holds his back and struggles to his knees while Rawlins slowly rolls towards his corner where Calhoun is reaching out for him. Caspian calls out to Keoni about the tag about to be made, Pacific Perfection hops to his feet and races over to try and stop it but.. RAWLINS MAKES THE TAG!] [GIANT POP] [And Jerry Calhoun scrambles into the ring! Tanaka goes for a wild right hand but Calhoun ducks and when Keoni spins around... HUGE STANDING DROPKICK sends Tanaka FLYING! The fans are GOING NUTS! Caspian scrambles in but eats a HARD right hand sending him stumbling into a corner where Jerry charges forward and...STONE MOUNTAIN AVALANCHE!!] [MEGA POP] CM: Jerry Calhoun is CLEANING HOUSE right now! RH: I think he just bit Caspian there! Edgar is not food! He's a perfect gentleman! Disqualify him! CM: No biting occurred whatsoever. RH: You are SOOOOO biased, Chuck! It's so unprofessional! [Edgar falls to his knees and begins PLEADING for mercy from Calhoun! Jerry looks around at the fans who go WILD CHEERING for Jerry to POP Caspian with another move but Edgar's pleading is enough distraction for Tanaka to sneak in a DROPKICK to the back of Calhoun's knee, causing the big man to buckle to his knees!] [BOOS] [Edgar and Tanaka nod at each other and then they pull the big man up to his feet and they both go for a DOUBLE DROPKICK.. But Jerry STAYS ON HIS FEET! The Perfect Team scrambles up and glare at their opponent so then they grab the big man and whip him to the ropes and then go for a double clothesline... But instead it's both of THEM being FLOORED BY A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE FROM JERRY CALHOUN!] [SUPER OMEGA SUPREME SIZED POP] CM: WHAT A MASSIVE DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE by Calhoun! He CREAMED them! RH: Just like he CREAMED poor Miss Crystal earlier? What a vulgar man, Calhoun is! CM: That was an accident, Roy! RH: You're right. That double clothesline was too timely to be intentional! [Tanaka rolls around holding his chest while Calhoun leans against the ropes and motions to the fans who POP BIG TIME for the big man they are VERY fond of! Jon Rawlins, still reeling from the punishment he took earlier, points out Caspian getting to his feet and tags himself in allowing Jerry Calhoun to race over and TACKLE CASPIAN THROUGH THE ROPES SENDING BOTH MEN TO THE FLOOR OUTSIDE!] [HOLY MOLY RAVIOLI YOWZA POWZA POP] CM: OH MY GOODNESS! Did you see that?! RH: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [As Rawlins climbs into the ring to go after Tanaka, Caspian is crawling away from Calhoun outside the ring! Edgar walks over to Miss Crystal and grabs the woman with the pie stained dress and TOSSES HER AT CALHOUN! Jerry manages to catch her and keep her from falling! Double Wide puts her down and immediately begins apologizing for everything.] RH: Did you see that, Chuck?! CM: I sure did! I can not BELIEVE that Caspian would put his valet in the line of danger yet again here tonight! RH: What?! NO! Calhoun JUST GRABBED Crystal and is THREATENING HER! CM: That is NOT what is going on, Roy! RH: Yes it is, Chuck! OPEN YOUR EYES! [While that is playing out, inside the ring Jon Rawlins is climbing up the turnbuckles and pumping his fists trying to get the crowd to chant his name again.. Which they don't do this time. As he gets to the top Rawlins stops in his tracks though because he spots someone on the entrance ramp...] CM: Tiger Soul is out here! RH: About time Rawlins got a taste of his own medicine! [Tiger Soul stands there staring up at Rawlins. Jon glares down at the masked man and begins yelling at him, which is a great opening for Keoni Tanaka to run over and KNOCK RAWLINS LEGS FROM UNDER HIM causing the young man to CROTCH HIMSELF ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE and fall back in the ring holding his groin for the second time in this match!] [BOOS] CM: Tiger Soul just caused Rawlins to be too distracted to see that attack coming! RH: Really, Chuck? Even you must admit it wouldn't take much to distract this kid! [Tiger Soul chuckles then heads to the back while outside the ring Calhoun continues to apologize to Miss Crystal. She nods her head and tries to tell the big man that everything is OK when.. CASPIAN TAKES THE OPENING TO HIT JERRY WITH A DROPKICK! As Jerry struggles to his knees, Edgar YELLS at Miss Crystal to give him one of her shoes which she reluctantly does and then.. Caspian NAILS Jerry in the forehead with the shoe causing the big man to hit the back of his head against the ring apron and slump down to the floor KO'D!] [MEGA HUGE BOOS] CM: OH MY GOODNESS! Caspian just hit Calhoun with that shoe! RH: It's only about to get better, Chuck, LOOK IN THE RING! [Inside the ring Tanaka has Rawlins hooked and he goes for...] [FINISHER POP] CM: THE PACIFIC-PLEX! Tanaka has that bridging cover, the referee leaps into position... ONE! TWO! THREE! RH: YES! YES!!! *DING DING DING* [HUGE BOOS] MB: Here are your winners... EDGAR CASPIAN AND KEONI TANAKA! [BOOS] CM: This is outrageous! Caspian used a shoe on Calhoun outside the ring, and Tiger Soul distracted Rawlins which allowed Tanaka to pick up the win! RH: It was a display of PERFECT tag team wrestling from the PERFECT Team! [Tanaka is on his feet and flashing a big smile at his win when...] [HUGE POP] CM: CADEN SANTOS! RH: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [Caden Santos SPRINTS to the ring and slides in and starts throwing WILD punches at Tanaka, who jumped him earlier on the show! Keoni SCRAMBLES out of the ring and runs for his LIFE to the back while the referee tries to hold back the angry man from Guam!] CM: Santos tried to get a little payback for what Tanaka did to him earlier but Keoni managed to run away like a scalded dog! RH: How DARE you liken Pacific Perfection to a dog, Chuck! FOR SHAME! [As the referee tries to handle the FURIOUS Caden Santos in the ring, outside the ring Miss Crystal looks shocked and upset at her shoe being used in the attack on Calhoun while Caspian goes back to that busty female fan at ringside and is asking to borrow something. The fan makes a face as if it's a strange request but oddly enough she gives in and hands Edgar... Her lipstick?!] CM: Wait.. Now what is this? Why does Caspian want with lipstick?! RH: Maybe he needs to help Miss Crystal fix her make up. She could be paralyzed from fear after the assaults from Tubby Calhoun! [Edgar, with a dark smile on his face, walks over to the downed Calhoun and starts writing on his forehead with the lipstick!] [HUGE BOOS] CM: Oh... Come on! [Caspian stands up and admires his work and the camera zooms in so we can read what he wrote: "PIG".] [MASSIVE BOOS] RH: Truer words were never written, Chuck. CM: What utter humiliation and classlessness from Edgar Caspian! We are out of time and I wish this was not the last thing we were seeing! RH: Time to swallow the hard truths instead of pie, fatty! [Caspian grabs Crystal by her arm and drags the sad young woman away while the camera focuses in on the downed Calhoun with "PIG" written in lipstick on his head as we fade to black.] ©2013 FFN PS: HUGE Thanks to Flouze for writing a match AND Proofreading the show! |
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2:24 PM Jul 11