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SELFISH STRATTING
Topic Started: Jun 15 2013, 11:40 PM (10,959 Views)
sychosys
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This Space For Rent
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
With the possible exception of no-selling everything Takezo Musashi did and driving him from the league, I believe that this match, where I strat for my own stable of jobbers to neutralize and neuterize the Genesis stable was my crowning achievement of dickish maneuvering in the IIWF.

Combined with poor matchwriting, this makes for a worthy addition to the Wrestlecrap archives:

Code:
 

[Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.]

TD: What a monumental contest that was, folks -- and an interesting
   encounter coming up next.

SR: What's interesting about it? We've got a nutball against a Genesis
   loser. Petrow will tear Rogers apart!

TD: While that remains to be seen, we would have to say that Petrow is
   the favourite. That of course ignores the possible presence of the
   other Genesis members at ringside.

SR: Ignore Genesis? What a great idea!

________      ______
| || |\ \ /\ / /| __|..................................................
| || | \ v  v / | __|            Scott Rogers vs. "Sychosys" Joe Petrow
|_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|....................................................
                                                             WRITER: RP

[Sparkplug Lee tries in vain to smooth the lapels on his perpetually
rumpled tuxedo before reading from his cue cards.]

SL: The next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from
   Hurricane, Utah and weighing in at 297 pounds, Scoooott Rogeeeeeers!

[Rogers' unique music comes out of the sound system as the arrogant
Genesis members saunters down to the ring with a sneer on his face that
belies the anger he feels. He ignores the fans' jeers, though his does
acknowledge the cheers of the Genesis Generation fans in the crowd.]

TD: Scott Rogers is entering the ring area alone, Steve Roberts. Are we
   going to see a one on one match or is this just a set-up for
   something later on?

SR: What are you talking about, Dross? When is the first wrestler going
   to be introduced?

TD: What are you...? Ah, the "ignoring Genesis" bit.

SR: Ignoring who?

SL: And his opponent, currently residing in Tokyo, Japan, and weighing
   in at 227 pounds, the self-proclaimed "Franchise of the IIWF",
   "Sychosys" Joe Petrooooooow!

["The Great Southern Trendkill" by Pantera starts up, as Petrow appears
at the entrance ramp.  Petrow wears long black wrestling tights, with
the word "Petrow" written down the sides of both legs, holds a wireless
microphone in his hands, and clutches the IIWF United States Tag Team
championship belt over his shoulder.  "Majestic" Maurice McArthur wears
Team Sychosys sweat gear, not in wrestling uniform, but ready for
action if need.  Neither man leaves the ramp, both merely taking in the
scene for a few seconds, before Petrow speaks into the mic]

JP: CUT THE MUSIC!

[The music stops, as Petrow continues.]

JP: Y'know, for months now, I've been watching this "Genesis" thing
   brewing, and I've seen how riled up everyone is, about how these
   guys [points to the ring] have "taken over" the IIWF.  The
   question I ask is, when did I ever give the IIWF to them?!

[Pop from the Sychopaths, as Petrow continues:]

JP: I hear the cynics say, "Oh, they're taking all the belts!",
   "They're destroying everyone who gets in their path!"  But tell
   me, what are they doing?  Are they outwrestling people?  Are they
   outthinking people?  No!  Just get a gang together, and beat the
   crap out of everyone who stands in their way!  Real original!
   It's like if our government started printing out trillions of
   dollars with nothing to back it up.  It would make a lot of people
   rich, but the money wouldn't be worth the paper it's printed on!
   So Genesis, when it comes down to it, all of your titles, and all
   of your notoriety, isn't worth the [BLEEP] I send down the toilet!

[Pop!]

JP: But everyone else in this league takes you guys so seriously.
   They say ya gotta fight fire with fire!  Is that a good idea?
   Well, tonight, we're gonna find out!  I've taken the liberty of
   finding the biggest, bravest, and toughest athletes in the world,
   and they're here TONIGHT to watch my back!  Genesis, you've met
   you're match, because I bring you... THE BEATLES!

["Come Together" by the Beatles plays, as a half dozen masked men of all
shapes and sizes lead Sychosys to the ring.  The black masks with
antennae lead us to believe that Petrow really meant to say the BEETLES.
Without their masks, one would say that the men were The Rotundos, The
Barnacle Brothers, Jumpin' Jack and Scott "The Whine" Bloom, but since
they are wearing masks, we can't be too sure.]

TD: Now, this is surprising! Rogers doesn't have anyone at ringside but
   Petrow does!

SR: So we've got big Joe and a bunch of Beatles but no one for him to
   fight!

TD: Has anyone told you how annoying you can be?

SR: Oh, once or twice.

[Petrow climbs into the ring and Rogers charges right at him. Petrow
dives quickly to the right and Rogers is unable to get a grip on him.
Petrow backpedals away and shakes his shoulders, waiting for Rogers.]

TD: Petrow seems to have no desire to go after his opponent, but Rogers
   doesn't share his reticence.

SR: Of course Petrow isn't attacking! There's no one to attack!

[One of the Beatles is up of the ring apron, distracting the ref as
Rogers moves in for a gut wrench suplex. Petrow merely straightens
himself up and flips Rogers over with a backdrop.]

TD: Petrow refuses to allow Rogers to get any advantage, but he won't
   take any for himself either!

[The official gets the Beatle to leave the apron but another one jumps
up on the other side and the ref must go deal with that one. Petrow
steps away from Rogers, allowing him to rise. He then stands passively
and waits for the Genesis member to make his move. Scott moves in  and
scoops Petrow up into position for an airplane spin but Petrow slides
right out of his grab, down his back and rolls him up for a pin. The ref
is still out of position and Petrow lets Rogers go long before a three
count would have been reached.]

TD: Rogers is just no match for the skills of Joe Petrow!

SR: When does the match start? Is Joe going to fight someone soon?

[Rogers, getting madder at every minute leaps at Petrow with a flying
shoulderblock but Petrow easily sidesteps him and takes him down with a
Fujinama armbar. He immediately releases the submission move as the
referee is still arguing with yet another in a series of interfering
Beatles. Finally Petrow motions to the oddly-garbed Beatles and they
swarm into the ring and surround Scott Rogers.]

TD: What is Petrow doing? He's just given away the match!

[Dross is right as the ref quickly calls for the bell in order to award
the DQ victory to Scott Rogers. Meanwhile the Beatles are maintaining
their circle around the Genesis member, not attacking him but taunting
him. There is a mixed pop from the crowd as the Highwayman and Serge
Annis run down the aisle and into the ring, just as Petrow slides out
the other side, joining McArthur.]

SR: What's everyone yelling about? Let's get on with the match!

TD: Genesis is laying waste to the Beatles! They are beating them within
   an inch of their lives!

[Petrow and McArthur make their way over to the broadcast position while
Genesis and the Beatles continue to brawl in the ring. Joe puts on a
headset and sits down beside Tim Dross.]

TD: Do you mind outlining what you are trying to accomplish here,
   Mr. Petrow?

JP: [ignoring Dross] It's a Jobber Battle Royal, live on Saturday
   Night!

[Steve Roberts tries not to laugh, as that would in some way acknowledge
the existence of one of the groups in the ring.]

JP: Tell me Steve, is this really the Genesis that everyone is so
   worried about?

SR: Genesis who? [breaks into laughter]

[Petrow and McArthur start to leave just as one of the Beatles is thrown
from the ring right at their feet.]

TD: Joe Petrow seems to be admonishing the Beatle for fighting! Everyone
   saw him call them into the ring! Now his calling for security! This
   is too much!

SR: Nothing is too much when you're the champ!

[Petrow and McArthur walk down the aisle. Petrow has the U.S. Tag belt
thrust defiantly in the air.]

TD: Joe Petrow has rejoined his sychopaths and security has cleared the
   ringside but I don't think anything has been settled here tonight!

SR: Between whom?

TD: You're incorrigible, Steve Roberts.  Folks, that brings the first
   hour of our special golden anniversary Saturday Night to a close --
   we'll be right back in a few moments with more incredible action!
   Don't move a muscle!

[Cut to a wide-angle shot as the ringside area is cleared.  Fade.]
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