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sychosys
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Jun 15 2013, 11:40 PM
Post #1
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- Posts:
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With the possible exception of no-selling everything Takezo Musashi did and driving him from the league, I believe that this match, where I strat for my own stable of jobbers to neutralize and neuterize the Genesis stable was my crowning achievement of dickish maneuvering in the IIWF.
Combined with poor matchwriting, this makes for a worthy addition to the Wrestlecrap archives:
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[Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.]
TD: What a monumental contest that was, folks -- and an interesting encounter coming up next.
SR: What's interesting about it? We've got a nutball against a Genesis loser. Petrow will tear Rogers apart!
TD: While that remains to be seen, we would have to say that Petrow is the favourite. That of course ignores the possible presence of the other Genesis members at ringside.
SR: Ignore Genesis? What a great idea!
________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| Scott Rogers vs. "Sychosys" Joe Petrow |_||_| \_/\_/ |_|.................................................... WRITER: RP
[Sparkplug Lee tries in vain to smooth the lapels on his perpetually rumpled tuxedo before reading from his cue cards.]
SL: The next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Hurricane, Utah and weighing in at 297 pounds, Scoooott Rogeeeeeers!
[Rogers' unique music comes out of the sound system as the arrogant Genesis members saunters down to the ring with a sneer on his face that belies the anger he feels. He ignores the fans' jeers, though his does acknowledge the cheers of the Genesis Generation fans in the crowd.]
TD: Scott Rogers is entering the ring area alone, Steve Roberts. Are we going to see a one on one match or is this just a set-up for something later on?
SR: What are you talking about, Dross? When is the first wrestler going to be introduced?
TD: What are you...? Ah, the "ignoring Genesis" bit.
SR: Ignoring who?
SL: And his opponent, currently residing in Tokyo, Japan, and weighing in at 227 pounds, the self-proclaimed "Franchise of the IIWF", "Sychosys" Joe Petrooooooow!
["The Great Southern Trendkill" by Pantera starts up, as Petrow appears at the entrance ramp. Petrow wears long black wrestling tights, with the word "Petrow" written down the sides of both legs, holds a wireless microphone in his hands, and clutches the IIWF United States Tag Team championship belt over his shoulder. "Majestic" Maurice McArthur wears Team Sychosys sweat gear, not in wrestling uniform, but ready for action if need. Neither man leaves the ramp, both merely taking in the scene for a few seconds, before Petrow speaks into the mic]
JP: CUT THE MUSIC!
[The music stops, as Petrow continues.]
JP: Y'know, for months now, I've been watching this "Genesis" thing brewing, and I've seen how riled up everyone is, about how these guys [points to the ring] have "taken over" the IIWF. The question I ask is, when did I ever give the IIWF to them?!
[Pop from the Sychopaths, as Petrow continues:]
JP: I hear the cynics say, "Oh, they're taking all the belts!", "They're destroying everyone who gets in their path!" But tell me, what are they doing? Are they outwrestling people? Are they outthinking people? No! Just get a gang together, and beat the crap out of everyone who stands in their way! Real original! It's like if our government started printing out trillions of dollars with nothing to back it up. It would make a lot of people rich, but the money wouldn't be worth the paper it's printed on! So Genesis, when it comes down to it, all of your titles, and all of your notoriety, isn't worth the [BLEEP] I send down the toilet!
[Pop!]
JP: But everyone else in this league takes you guys so seriously. They say ya gotta fight fire with fire! Is that a good idea? Well, tonight, we're gonna find out! I've taken the liberty of finding the biggest, bravest, and toughest athletes in the world, and they're here TONIGHT to watch my back! Genesis, you've met you're match, because I bring you... THE BEATLES!
["Come Together" by the Beatles plays, as a half dozen masked men of all shapes and sizes lead Sychosys to the ring. The black masks with antennae lead us to believe that Petrow really meant to say the BEETLES. Without their masks, one would say that the men were The Rotundos, The Barnacle Brothers, Jumpin' Jack and Scott "The Whine" Bloom, but since they are wearing masks, we can't be too sure.]
TD: Now, this is surprising! Rogers doesn't have anyone at ringside but Petrow does!
SR: So we've got big Joe and a bunch of Beatles but no one for him to fight!
TD: Has anyone told you how annoying you can be?
SR: Oh, once or twice.
[Petrow climbs into the ring and Rogers charges right at him. Petrow dives quickly to the right and Rogers is unable to get a grip on him. Petrow backpedals away and shakes his shoulders, waiting for Rogers.]
TD: Petrow seems to have no desire to go after his opponent, but Rogers doesn't share his reticence.
SR: Of course Petrow isn't attacking! There's no one to attack!
[One of the Beatles is up of the ring apron, distracting the ref as Rogers moves in for a gut wrench suplex. Petrow merely straightens himself up and flips Rogers over with a backdrop.]
TD: Petrow refuses to allow Rogers to get any advantage, but he won't take any for himself either!
[The official gets the Beatle to leave the apron but another one jumps up on the other side and the ref must go deal with that one. Petrow steps away from Rogers, allowing him to rise. He then stands passively and waits for the Genesis member to make his move. Scott moves in and scoops Petrow up into position for an airplane spin but Petrow slides right out of his grab, down his back and rolls him up for a pin. The ref is still out of position and Petrow lets Rogers go long before a three count would have been reached.]
TD: Rogers is just no match for the skills of Joe Petrow!
SR: When does the match start? Is Joe going to fight someone soon?
[Rogers, getting madder at every minute leaps at Petrow with a flying shoulderblock but Petrow easily sidesteps him and takes him down with a Fujinama armbar. He immediately releases the submission move as the referee is still arguing with yet another in a series of interfering Beatles. Finally Petrow motions to the oddly-garbed Beatles and they swarm into the ring and surround Scott Rogers.]
TD: What is Petrow doing? He's just given away the match!
[Dross is right as the ref quickly calls for the bell in order to award the DQ victory to Scott Rogers. Meanwhile the Beatles are maintaining their circle around the Genesis member, not attacking him but taunting him. There is a mixed pop from the crowd as the Highwayman and Serge Annis run down the aisle and into the ring, just as Petrow slides out the other side, joining McArthur.]
SR: What's everyone yelling about? Let's get on with the match!
TD: Genesis is laying waste to the Beatles! They are beating them within an inch of their lives!
[Petrow and McArthur make their way over to the broadcast position while Genesis and the Beatles continue to brawl in the ring. Joe puts on a headset and sits down beside Tim Dross.]
TD: Do you mind outlining what you are trying to accomplish here, Mr. Petrow?
JP: [ignoring Dross] It's a Jobber Battle Royal, live on Saturday Night!
[Steve Roberts tries not to laugh, as that would in some way acknowledge the existence of one of the groups in the ring.]
JP: Tell me Steve, is this really the Genesis that everyone is so worried about?
SR: Genesis who? [breaks into laughter]
[Petrow and McArthur start to leave just as one of the Beatles is thrown from the ring right at their feet.]
TD: Joe Petrow seems to be admonishing the Beatle for fighting! Everyone saw him call them into the ring! Now his calling for security! This is too much!
SR: Nothing is too much when you're the champ!
[Petrow and McArthur walk down the aisle. Petrow has the U.S. Tag belt thrust defiantly in the air.]
TD: Joe Petrow has rejoined his sychopaths and security has cleared the ringside but I don't think anything has been settled here tonight!
SR: Between whom?
TD: You're incorrigible, Steve Roberts. Folks, that brings the first hour of our special golden anniversary Saturday Night to a close -- we'll be right back in a few moments with more incredible action! Don't move a muscle!
[Cut to a wide-angle shot as the ringside area is cleared. Fade.]
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