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[NEFW] The Day the Earth Day Stood Still; A new NEFW pay-per-view!
Topic Started: Aug 16 2013, 12:23 AM (621 Views)
LBSJ
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(The Pay-Per-View preshow featuring a special retrospective commentary on the history of low blows draws to a close following a stirring video montage of wrestlers being smacked in the balls set to Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You.” The familiar logo of the NEFW flashes across the screen . . . )

(Suddenly, we find ourselves in a barren, empty stretch of land. There is no sign of civilization. The sky above is cloudless, yet still somehow gray. Nothing stirs, not even the slightest breath of air. This blasted wasteland is the true definition of desolation. Music plays in the background. It is a steady, deep percussion, accented by the occasional strain of a single violin string.)

(The feed from the camera cuts out for but a split second, but when it returns there is a figure amongst the barrens, his back turned, his body draped in black.)

VOICE: “What am I going to do?”

(We suddenly see an envelope atop a kitchen table. The ink forming the words on the rough paper is dripping off the edge, and we suddenly see the floor, where a dark, red pool of it is forming.)

(Just like that, we are back in the wasteland, with the solitary figure once again in the distance. The drum beat intensifies as the violin becomes faster, more discordant.)

(But instantly, we are back to the kitchen table. The camera slowly pans past the letter, where we see a gun resting atop it. Propped up beside it in a dark, wooden frame is a photograph of someone’s family. The faces are not clear.)

VOICE: “Did you choose . . . wisely?”

(The wasteland appears once more. The lone man in black gazes out upon the blank horizon.)

(The camera makes a series of rapid cuts, showing the bleak landscape, the gun and the photograph, and the steady dripping of ink upon the floor. It flashes a pair of dark, calculating eyes, and then returns to a far shot of the wasteland.)

VOICE: “To all things . . . an ending.”

(Suddenly, the screen goes dark.)

SECOND VOICE: “But to every ending . . . a new beginning.”

(The wasteland reappears. Two figures stand, facing the camera. The heat distortions rising from the endless sand blur their faces, making them impossible to identify from the distance they stand. Both are draped in black, looking down towards the bleached white sands, their arms widening at their sides.)

VOICE: “I have been damned before.”

SECOND VOICE: “Do you seek redemption?”

VOICE: “The end has come.”

SECOND VOICE: “This . . . is just the beginning.”

(The violin playing suddenly gives one final, disharmonious screech as the drums beat steadily and powerfully, and then everything cuts to black.)

VOICE: “Tonight . . .”

SECOND VOICE: “. . .The circle . . . comes around again.”

(There is a final shot of the wasteland, both figures standing just far enough away to make their features indistinct. Suddenly, we cut to an intense close up, as if they closed the distance between themselves and the camera in the space of a heartbeat, but then just like that they are gone . . .)

(The scene fades to black . . .)

# KUAN!!#

(Senses-distorting colors smash onto the screen as "Battle Ready" by OTEP blares throughout the screens of televisions 'round the nation. Images assault our senses at rapid-fire pace as the program begins.)

##simple souls overload as I explode data banks cuz
the earth & space gave birth to this paleface ##

(The images begin to take shape, and we now see the form of Swift Nick hurtling himself from the top turnbuckle. This is quickly replaced by a shadowed image of the smiling face of "The Hollywood Heartthrob” Jonnie Rose filling the screen.)

##supreme -- linguistic -- mental machine your brain cells swell - the intellects extreme##

(The hulking form of Joey Steroidz smashes down Ripper with the Roid Rage, immediately followed by a shot of Butcher Ben standing atop the aisle with the Unified Intercontinental Title, and then a shot of One Man Army quickly turning his head towards the camera, eyes blazing.)

##fire fills my veins as eye proclaim my resistance
to the mind-swapping parasites that feed off my
existence##

(Tommy McKnight delivers a bone-splintering ass-whipper to Deckard, and then Blade stands in the middle of the ring, arms raised and the NEFW World Title around his waist.)

##as eye -- skin the burn to relearn the royal plan
somewhere out beyond the edges in the depths of spirit
land##

(The symbol of the Ronin flashes across the screen, followed by an enraged Chaos flexing his form as he shouts towards an unseen opponent, the ring ropes shaking around him.)

##its authentic, apocalyptic destroyer damaging
challengers -- resurrection, disorder##

(Omen’s imperceptible visage flashes across the screen, briefly, but is then replaced by the mask of Raptor as he dives towards the screen delivering the Six Inch Claw, and quickly seceded by Lightning Kid hurtling himself over the ropes to the outside against the Layden's.)

##a monument of crisis - eye strikes this - your dead
line my nest with your soul -- cleansed in bloodshed##

(The mask of the monstrous Scourge stares at us, blood dripping from it, and then the Senator walks down the aisle with a sly smile and a wave for the crowd. Then the Bull stands atop the turnbuckle, yelling at the crowd and beating his chest.)

##BATTLE READY!
poets gonna take control

BATTLE READY
souls violate parole

BATTLE READY
violently invade your home

-- breaking the bones
OF THOSE WHO POSE##

(A cacophony of images familiar to us swirl by, as we see Senton delivering the K-MAD to a struggling Raptor, and then Old Brown Heineken nailing the Final Call on Christian York , followed immediately by Drayven glaring towards the screen. This is replaced by Suess viciously applying the Kat's Layover to a helpless Fisherman, and then Mondo Somatic staring down Rude Dude.)

##commanding the mic -- striking up a verb-fest
mass destruction is my function - time to put it to
the test##

(Mass Destruction collides with Twisted Steel, and a graphic of the Tag Team Titles overtakes the screen momentarily. Then the Salaminizer smashes a traffic cone against Inferno's head, and Chris DeVille Reads Mace Richter his Rights.)

##in combat --- attacking since way back in the days
eye drew praise for the way that eye slayed facts

formulating flows in revolutionary science its the
catastrophic prophet from the anarchist alliance##

(Suess screams as Wraack wraps him in barbed wire, and moments later Unforgiven plumments from the sky after the NEFW Pete's Wicked Ale Title. Jenna Jett smashes Corona down with the Overdrive, and Joseph Vondikail viciously spears her in a different match microseconds later. Johnny Demonic stands atop the turnbuckle, one of his catchphrases shouted out noiselessly. Then Drunken Master wrenches in the Bender on Robert Washington, the crowd erupting around them.)

##freaking techniques -- this creature of speech
ewe feel the fury of devastation cuz ewe ewe tasted
defeat

I'm alone on my throne in this universe of fear
royalty divides my soul -- in this role I'm revered

as the pinnacle -- lyrical master -- queen of disaster
eye ruin brain fluid -- the UNKNOWN IS WHAT I'M
AFTER##

(Master Yang smacks his foot against Lightning Kid's head. The Bull Runs with the Bulls on Swift Nick, and The Crimson Christian hits a Preaching Piledriver on Swift Nick. Rein Engel smashes down Chris Rogers with a Manyerd Effect, an image overtaken by Rasco Raines in his car knocking back a can of Natty Light with the Cruiserweight Title hanging from his rear view mirror.)


##BATTLE READY!
poets gonna take control

BATTLE READY
souls violate parole

BATTLE READY
violently invade your home

-- breaking the bones
OF THOSE WHO POSE##

(Hannibal mercilessly executes the Darwin on a limp Vigilante, and then Blade locks in the fading sun on a Tommy McKnight with nowhere to run. Zach Starkey poses with his surfboard, and then Drayven flies from the top with the Gothic Drop, Ripper in tow. Jesse Waltman cockily strides across the ring talking trash to someone we can't see, and then Smasher Harrison growls as he stares up at a referee beside him.)

##shaking up the world -- just like the 2nd coming of
christ -- when I write -- thrice divine with this
goddess sight

words will flow -- wounds will grow you know -- bones
will be exposed from the force that eye unload

its THE SOUL EATER!! -- mic bleeder with the voice of
chaos

eye got the nectar of the gods flowing from my mental
pod##

(The Crimson Christian lowers into the ring, flanked by Fighting Mad Jesus, holding on to the Cross. “Diamondback” Chris Myers faces Old Brown Heineken for the NEFW title, and moments later Mondo Somatic hurls Blade from the top of the Hell in the Cell. Deckard smashes down Cross with the Emerald Fusion. Little Blue Super Jew and Drunken Master, both in RMV shirts, stare out towards the crowd with Lucky beside them in the ring.)

##gather the flock -- alarm your block
tell them the shepherds have come & got the keys to
unlock

a holy war -- thru your veins it courses
more lyrical artillery than the armed forces

supernatural -- styles be volatile
its the mind manipulator -- the WAR CHILD##

(Doctor Melancholy cracks his neck, a knowing smirk on his face. Tommy McKnight superkicks Butcher Ben right out of his boots. Scourge cripples Michael Corvis with a Judgment Day Powerbomb into a kiddie pool filled with lightbulbs. Corona and Little Blue Super Jew go flying out of the ring as the explosion marks the end of the Hebrew Death Match. And then Old Brown Heineken as he lands the Last Call on Rude Dude.)


##BATTLE READY!
poets gonna take control

BATTLE READY
souls violate parole

BATTLE READY
violently invade your home

-- breaking the bones
OF THOSE WHO POSE##

(An instrumental bridge in the lyrics gives us the shot of Mace Richter hitting the Aftershock on The Goth. Rude Dude tearing at Deckard's knees with a Figure Four. Darkness Falls on Drayven courtesy of Blade. Corona lays out Terry Storm with the Beer Blast. Senton and Corona stand together as the Kings of All, and then stand with Deckard as the Elite. The side of the triple cage falls down, pinning Cross and Senton beneath it.)

##COME!
SHADOW SOLDIERS!

we came to defy - you living life as a lie
we embryonic satellites need our freedom to fly

TO WATCH YOU DIE! -- agonizing cries are heard in
stereo I'm visualizing battlefield scenarios
in the line of fire -- watching empires fall
into attack position -- ELIMINATE ALL!!!##

(The DarkSiders hold aloft the Tag Team title belts. Jenna Jett lets Joseph Vondikail eat some Afterburner. M4 delivers a brutal beating to Rude Dude. Eliminator hits Final Justice against The Goth. Crimson Christian and Raptor battle it out inside a Church. Maxx gets superkicked through a glass wall into a river of blood. The Senator Filibuster's Little Blue Super Jew. Hannibal relentlessly slams Vigilante's head against a door. Bloodlust fills the ring, Inferno standing in the middle as fire rages up around them.)


##MY SPECIES!!!

BATTLE READY!
poets gonna take control

BATTLE READY
souls violate parole

BATTLE READY
violently invade your home

-- breaking the bones
OF THOSE WHO POSE##

(Mathew Freek kicks a bleeding Liam Zane. The Losers appear shocked as they score a pinfall. Q holds up the Unified Intercontinental Title. Bubba Bo Bob Billy Ray Bush dances around the ring, and Victor Kincaid latches on to Rein Engel with the Spinal Fracture Sleeper. Danial Blaze sails off the top turnbuckle through a set of tables)

(An instrumental pause once again. This gives way to the image of the Outlaw Tyler Brock holding the NEFW title on his shoulder. Then Little Blue Super Jew and Scourge rush towards each other, fury in their eyes. Jesse Waltman springs towards the screen with a Colt .45. Christian Cable smashes NorthStar forward with a Cablegram. Sickamoa does a tribal dance, Syn growls towards the camera.)

##MY SPECIES!
NO SURRENDER!##

(The scene now flashes repeatedly. Capital. Rude Dude. Mondo Somatic. Doctor Melancholy. Old Brown Heineken. Christian Cable. “Diamondback” Chris Myers. Blade. Little Blue Super Jew. Deckard. Suess. Mace Richter. Ronin. Swift Nick. Brandon Charm. Smasher. Scourge. Rein Engel. Omen. Cross. Drayven. The Crimson Christian. NEFW.)

(The camera spins across the MassMutual Center, home to the events of the resurrected NEFW. The near 7,000-seat arena is visibly over half full, marking a new record crowd since the federation returned from the ether. Moreover, the fans in attendance are notably decorated with layers of NEFW merchandise. Blade t-shirts, Scourge masks, foam replicas of The Cross, Chris DeVille-brand handcuffs, Ronin baseball bats; all this and more is seen on fans also wielding signs such as “WHY HAS SUESS FALLEN,” “SCOURGE WILL BE CHARMED,” “RASCO vs. SALAMINIZER = RATINGS,” and one sign that is simply an illustration of Fighting Mad Jesus eating the Crimson Christian at the Last Supper. The camera continues panning around, showing off the Earth-conscious theme of the show. The NEFieTron is lined with solar panels, and two massive faux wind turbines stand at either side of the entrance ramp. The area around the entranceway is lined with greenery, and the NEFW logo spins around the NEFieTron in the recycle-arrows pattern. The entrance ramp itself is lined with environmentally-conscious messages, such as remembering to recycle paper products, reducing energy consumption through better weather planning, and eating delicious, farm-friendly Chipotle. The camera continues panning through the arena’s decorations until suddenly, from the top of the entrance ramp . . .)

Heart breaker, soul shaker
I’ve been told about you
Steamroller, midnight stroller
What they've been saying must be true

(As an entrance graphic begins playing on the NEFie-Tron, the voice of Pete Dux can be heard echoing throughout the arena while the camera remains fixed on the ramp.)

PETE DUX: “Llllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaadies and gentlemen, the following match is set for ONE FALL, and is a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH to determine the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER for Rasco Raine’s Pete’s Wicked Ale PAY-PER-VIEW CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first . . “

Red hot mama
Velvet charmer
Times come to pay your dues

PETE DUX: “From Austin, Texas! Weighing in at TWO hundred and FORTY-FIVE pounds . . . he is THE BOUNTY HUNTER . . . CHRIS DEVILLE!”

Now you're messin with a
A son of a bitch
Now you're messin with a son of a bitch
Now you're messin with a
A son of a bitch
Now you're messin with a son of a bitch

(The Bounty Hunter appears at the top of the ramp, sweeping his trenchcoat back behind him. A wad of gum flies from his lips as he removes his dark sunglasses, pumping a fist into the air to the sound of cheers. DeVille marches down the ramp with a purpose as the camera suddenly swings ringside where we find our announce team ready and waiting for action.)

LESTER HOLLAND: “Looks like we’re going straight to the action tonight!”

EVIL MASKED ANNOUNCER II: “And yet for some reason it still feels like we’ve been waiting forever.”

LH: “Welcome NEFW Fans, to The Day the Earth Day Stood Still! Our company’s tribute to great wrestling and conscientious environmentalism!”

EMAII: “Yes! For example, I have begun planting my victims in the earth so that they might form a natural, biodegradable fertilizer, rather than consuming them so that their souls may never escape me!”

LH: “We’re all about caring here at the NEFW, and the three men competing in our opening match tonight care about one thing in particular – being the next person in line for a shot at the NEFW’s top prize – our Pay-Per-View championship!”

EMAII: “The days of Rasco Raines are numbered! Surely he shall perish in tonight’s title defense!”

LH: “If he does manage to retain against Mace Richter tonight, he’ll still have to deal with – “

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

PETE DUX: “Introducing next, from HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA! Weighing in at TWO hundred and thirty-two pounds . . . The HOLLYWOOD HEARTTHROB . . . Jonnie! ROSE!”


Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people

(To the tune of “Don’t Stop Believing” as performed by the cast of “Glee,” the Heartthrob makes his way down to the ring. Rose tosses out autographed headshots to the fans, along with a note attached on the back of each 8x10 glossy with his PayPal information for forwarding the mandatory $20 charge.)

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin’
Streetlight people

LH: “Rose now entering the ring, DeVille watching him like a hawk over in the corner. Jonnie Rose as seasoned a vet as they come in the NEFW. Let’s not forget that he recently got a win over both Christian Cable and Tiny in that triple threat match.”

EMAII: “Too late, I have already forgotten. Memory is for the weak!”

LH: “DeVille and Rose would both love to get their hands on the PPV Title. Also, you’ve got to figure Rasco’s looking over his shoulder at the Bounty Hunter, as it was DeVille who beat him after Reading him his Rights through a window at 12 Beatings of Christmas!”

EMAII: “Also forgotten! I live for the now!”

(The sound of bagpipes suddenly fills the arena as an aura of emerald light falls over the MassMutual Center.)

We'll sing a song, a soldier's song
With cheering rousing chorus
As round our blazing fires we throng
The starry heavens o'er us

PETE DUX: “And finally, from DUBLIN, IRELAND!

Impatient for the coming fight
And as we wait the morning's light
Here in the silence of the night
We'll chant a soldier's song

(The crowd rises to their feet as the strains of “Soldier’s Song” begin playing, and a twin pair of green-tinted spotlights focus in on the top of the ramp. There is a sudden flash of pyro, and suddenly a lithe, muscular figure stands where there had previously been an empty platform. Thousands of voices cheer as the NEFieTron shows familiar footage from some of the most historic matches in its long history.)

Soldiers are we
whose lives are pledged to Ireland
Some have come
from a land beyond the wave
Sworn to be free

PETE DUX: “Please welcome . . . .THHHHEEEE DUUUUUUUBLIIIIIIIIIIIN DAAAAAAAAAARRREDEVVVILLLLLLLLLL!!”

No more our ancient sire land
Shall shelter the despot or the slave
Tonight we man the gap of danger
In Erin's cause, come woe or weal
'Mid cannons' roar and rifles peal
We'll chant a soldier's song

(The Dublin Daredevil holds a fist in the air, surveying the crowd as they clap his name like a hockey chant. The strains of “Dub-Lin Dare-Devil –clap-clap-clapclapclap-“ echo throughout the arena. Halfway down the ramp, the Daredevil stops, looks at his opponents in the ring, and then back out at the crowd. With an Irish smirk, he suddenly bolts forward, sliding in under the bottom rope, making Jonnie Rose flinch as he rises in one smooth motion to his feet. The crowd cheers louder than before as the Dublin Daredevil goes up to the second rope, lifting his arms in the air and acknowledging their adoration.)

LH: “What a showing of love for the Dublin Daredevil! These NEFW fans can’t get enough of DD!”

EMAII: “BAH! The braying of this crowd of jackasses grates on my nerves! The Dublin Daredevil is a fool’s hero, and the worst kind of person!”

LH: “What kind of person is that?”

EMAII: “Irish.”

LH: “I’m sure Drunken Master . . . actually, he does little to disprove that theory. All three men in the ring now, and the referee is just going over some last-minute instructions. Chris DeVille, Jonnie Rose, and the Dublin Daredevil! What a match this should be!”

EMAII: “If two or more of them die, I will be satisfied . . . temporarily.”

LH: “The referee has called for the bell, and this match has begun! And Chris DeVille immediately makes a rush for Dublin, and there’s a wrist and collar tie-up. DeVille’s got some power behind him, make no mistake, and he’s struggling to push DD down. The Daredevil struggling back, but Jonnie Rose interrupts the face-off with a sliding uppercut to DeVille’s midsection! The Bounty Hunter caught off-guard, and Rose following up, tossing DeVille back onto the mat. But the Daredevil catches Rose with a clutch from behind, and whips him backwards into the ropes. Dublin Daredevil with a dropkick! Rose down, and Chris DeVille back on his feet, spinning DD around – but Daredevil blocks the punch and counters with some knife-edge chops!”

EMAII: “I have always loathed that maneuver. All too seldom is it performed with actual knives. Do promoters not realize that this is what the fans want?”

LH: “Which fans, exactly?”

EMAII: “I am the only true fan!”

LH: “DeVille backed up into the ropes, but he nails a stiff kick to DD’s abdomen. And Jonnie Rose from behind with a chop block! Dublin is down, and the Heartthrob with a body slam to Chris DeVille! Jonnie Rose has both men down, and he’s going for the ropes . . .running leg drop to the Bounty Hunter! Rose hooks the leg!”


ONE!









TWO!






LH: “Kick-out at two by the Bounty Hunter, and Dublin’s back up, putting some boots to Jonnie Rose. DeVille and Dublin both hooking his tights – double suplex! Rose down – and the Bounty Hunter immediately turns on the Daredevil with a spinning clothesline!”

EMAII: “Ah, the shifting and unpredictable alliances of the triple threat match. A rare treat to watch the constant backstabbing!”

LH: “DeVille sizing the Dublin Daredevil up, and he hits him with a stiff forearm shot to the back of the head. DeVille pushing Dublin into the ropes, and he sends him to the opposite side. Dublin comes back – and eats a facecrusher from Chris DeVille! Dublin’s face just got rammed into the Bounty Hunter’s knee! DD is down, DeVille slides into a cover! Could be – No! Jonnie Rose off the ropes with a diving elbow, breaking up the pin!”

EMAII: “Pitiful Holland, I ask a serious question. Why do we allow pinfall and submission to end a match, but not cannibalism? Is there no clearer way of defeating your opponent than feasting upon his still-living flesh?”

LH: “You . . . uh . . . you usually just riff off of the action and use that to make some kind of evil reference.”

EMAII: “I skipped dinner today.”

LH: “That answers that. Rose with a standing dropkick to Chris DeVille, and DeVille trips over the Dublin Daredevil and falls through the ropes! DeVille out of the ring! Jonnie Rose runs for the ropes, looks like he’s going for a splash onto Dubl – NO! The Daredevil snaps up and catches him! Powerslam! What a slam! Dublin Daredevil into a cover!


ONE!











TWO!!!














TH – No!

LH: “Jonnie Rose survives an expertly executed snap powerslam by the Dublin Daredevil! But now DD is going up top! Daredevil measuring the Hollywood Heartthrob . . .DD off the top! MOONSAULT CONNECTS! Jonnie Rose just got drilled by that moonsault! The Dublin Daredevil with a high-flying maneuver that paid off!”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU DUBLIN DAREDEVIL! If Irishmen were meant to fly, I would have murdered your entire family!”

LH: “I don’t quite see how that’s a good if-then statement.”

EMAII: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

LH: “Dublin Daredevil measuring up Jonnie Rose! The Heartthrob is staggering to his feet! Dublin’s measuring him up for the Irish Lullaby! Listen to this crowd getting pumped up for the Lullaby! Here it – no!! Dublin Daredevil leaps to the side as Chris DeVille storms the ring and attempts to Read him his Rights! Dublin narrowly avoids the spear, but DeVille rolls forward with the momentum, and now he’s on the turnbuckle! DeVille twists in the air – FLYING BODY PRESS TO THE DUBLIN DAREDEVIL! DeVille has the Daredevil down and – he’s going for Bail Revoked! He’s got Dublin’s legs, and DD is trying desperately to fend him off! DeVille trying to apply that submission maneuver – NO! DD PULLS HIM IN! INSIDE CRADLE! DEVILLE’S SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!



ONE!!



























TWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


































THREE – NO!!! JONNIE ROSE BREAKS IT UP!

LH: “Jonnie Rose with an absolute last second dive preventing the Dublin Daredevil from winning the match! Now Rose holding onto the ropes, putting the boots to DD! The ref in there pulling Rose away, but he runs back in to plant another boot to the head of the Dublin Daredevil! Wait, Chris DeVille back up, and there’s some stiff forearms to Jonnie Rose. DeVille backing Rose into the corner!”

EMAII: “Ha ha ha ha ha! Moments ago he prevented DeVille from suffering ignoble defeat, and he is repaid by painful blows being rained down upon him! The triple threat is truly the most treacherous of matches!”

LH: “No loyalty amongst any of these men to one another, as all three want a shot at Rasco’s title! Rose in the corner – DODGES THE CHARGE! DeVille shoulder-first into the ring post! And Jonnie Rose catches him coming off with a DDT! DeVille is down! Jonnie Rose is getting fired up! A true veteran of the game, never count Rose out!”

EMAII: “His most incredible feat was convincing the NEFW that he qualified as a Cruiserweight.”

LH: “He makes the weigh-in every time!”

EMAII: “Then his gut harbors not love handles, but voracious abdomen-swelling demons, fit to burst out and wreak terrible vengeance upon you!”

LH: “What did I ever do to the gut demons?”

EMAII: “Oh, if you only knew, pitiful Holland. If you only knew.”

LH: “Rose drops the leg on Chris DeVille, and now he’s fending off strikes from the Dublin Daredevil! Rose and DD trading right hands, and there’s a kick to the gut by Jonnie Rose! The Heartthrob running towards the ropes – bulldog! ONTO DEVILLE! Rose bounces Dublin’s head into the Bounty Hunter! Jonnie Rose with the upper hand on both men! And he’s going up top!”

EMAII: “Fly, Jonnie Rose! Crush them beneath your festering gut demons!”

LH: “Rose going for the FALLING STAR! Look at the elevation!! Rose – GETS CAUGHT BY THE IRISH LULLABY! IRISH LULLABY! IRISH LULLABY!! THE DUBLIN DAREDEVIL SNATCHES JONNIE ROSE RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR!”

EMAII: “CURSES! How?! HOW? I curse your name, Dublin Daredevil!”

LH: “The Dublin Daredevil snapped to his feet and caught Jonnie Rose with the Irish Lullaby! Rose is struggling to break free, but Daredevil has it cinched in! Look at the torque on his head and neck! Rose has nowhere to go!! What an incredible counter by the Dublin Daredevil! Jonnie Rose is fading! The ref is checking his arm! Jonnie Rose going limp! This is all over! Dublin Daredevil . . . no wait! Rose is fighting back! The Heartthrob is trying to stay on his feet, but how much has he got?“

EMAII: “Hollywood serves no purpose save to crush the dreams of those who aspire to greatness. Use that namesake’s power now, Jonnie Rose, and crush the Dublin Daredevil!”

LH: “Rose still showing signs of life, but he’s fading! Dublin Daredevil still has the Lullaby cinched in – WAIT! CHRIS DEVILLE WITH THE CONVICT CUTTER – NO! Dublin ducks! But he dropped Jonnie Rose! Rose lying motionless on the mat! Chris DeVille going for DD now, firing off hard rights! He’s got a hook – snap suplex! Wait, DeVille hangs on – another suplex! Dublin Daredevil landing right on his spine and neck! Chris DeVille has recovered, and the Bounty Hunter has the Daredevil in his sights!”

EMAII: “As do I, but alas, they confiscated my ammo at the door. All I can do is pull this trigger and dream.”

LH: “Dublin Daredevil sent into the ropes, DeVille goes down – back body drop! Dublin on the mat. Now DeVille goes to the ropes, going for an elbow drop, but Dublin rolls out of the way! DeVille elbow-first onto the mat, and now Jonnie Rose is back up! Rose with a baseball slide kick to DeVille, laying him out! And Dublin going for the Irish Lullaby again!! NO! Rose had it scouted this time – drop toe hold! AND DUBLIN AND DEVILLE KNOCK HEADS!”

EMAII: “HA! The sound of human skulls cracking is always entertaining.”

LH: “Both men stunned, and Jonnie Rose running towards the ropes, here he comes . . . flying back elbow! Rose has shown a lot of fire in this match, you know he wants a shot at that Pay-Per-View Championship! Rose with a hammerlock now on Dublin, and – OH! Dublin ducks underneath a standing dropkick from Chris DeVille, and the Heartthrob eats it! DeVille delivers a dropkick meant for the Dublin Daredevil to Jonnie Rose!”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU, LUCK OF THE IRISH!”

LH: “No luck there, Dublin Daredevil with the kind of ring presence you only find in a veteran like him! DD quickly turning – and he slingshots Jonnie Rose into DeVille!! These guys are using each other as weapons left and right!”

EMAII: “Yes, I suppose that’s alright at least.”

LH: “Rose on the mat, DeVille in the corner . . . and the Dublin Daredevil springboards off of Jonnie Rose!! Running knee lift to Chris DeVille! Amazing! DD lined them up and knocked them down! DeVille faceplants on the mat! The Dublin Daredevil running up the ropes . . . MOONSAULT TO DEVILLE! Dublin floats into a cover! HE’S GOT IT!


ONE!!



























TWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
































THREEEEEEEEEEE – NO! NO! DEVILLE KICKS OUT!

EMAII: “That was far too close, Bounty Hunter! The Daredevil must not be allowed to win!”

LH: “He was a hair’s breadth away from becoming the #1 Contender, but DeVille refuses to go down! DeVille fighting to rise, and the Dublin Daredevil drags him to his feet. Forearm shots by the Daredevil to the face of Chris Deville, backing him into the ropes, and now DD sends him across the ring. DeVille off the ropes, dropkick by Dublin – DeVille ducks underneath! Now of the ropes again, DD leapfrogs DeVille, and there’s Jonnie Rose! Rose reverses DeVille’s motion with an Irish whip, and now he’s headed back towards DD – and another Irish whip! DeVille into the ropes, and off the ropes – DD catches him, there’s a suplex! – no! Rose catches him in the air! DD hanging on, and DeVille is bridged between these two men!”

EMAII: “A fine position for him to be broken in half. Make a wish!”

LH: “No, Dublin lets go, but now Jonnie Rose has DeVille in an airplane spin! Wait!! DeVille takes over with a head scissors – but Rose rolls through and is back on his feet! The Daredevil there to meet him with some stiff forearms, and a European uppercut! Rose into the ropes, and there’s a knife-edge chop by DD! Daredevil now, whipping Rose across the ring, Rose off the ropes, headed towards DeVille and DD! Bad news for Jonnie Rose – no! Double clothesline – NO!! They both catch Rose’s arms! DD and DeVille hefting him up – AND SLAM HIM TO THE MAT BY HIS ARMS! I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT! It’s a . . it’s a two-man crucifix slam! Rose is laid out!”

EMAII: “I object to the recipient, but I am always happy to see crucifixion revisited in today’s day and age. I approve!”

LH: “A short-lived alliance, DD with a standing dropkick – NO! NO WAIT! DeVille catches his legs!! This could be - ! HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM! BAIL REVOKED! Chris DeVille’s iteration of the Sharpshooter! He’s got the Dublin Daredevil!! DD’s back and neck, his shoulders and legs, everything is being tortured right now! The Bounty Hunter has got him! Dublin Daredevil struggling to try and reach the ropes! Will he tap!? Will he tap?!”

EMAII: “Do not allow him to submit, pathetic referee! I declare this match shall continue until the Dublin Daredevil’s leg muscles are sundered from the rest of his pitiful nervous system!”

LH: “DD in a world of pain as the Bounty Hunter bends back even further on this submission hold! Jonnie Rose still down on the mat as Chris Deville holds DD in place! He’s really pulling it back, and what can the Daredevil do here?! This match could be over!”

EMAII: “Blast! I can’t decide if I want to see the Daredevil quit and be humiliated or have the muscle torn from his bones! Pitiful Holland! Provide me one of your mortal coins to flip!”

LH: “Wait! Dublin’s stretching out his hand, trying to claw his way towards that bottom rope. He’s at least a foot away, and DeVille isn’t cutting him any slack here! Dublin Daredevil, pulling forward with everything he’s got, trying to break out of this hold, but I don’t know if he can do it! He’s inches away from the bottom rope! His fingers are stretched out but there’s nothing to grab hold of! That rope is tantalizingly close, but DD just . . . wait, he’s inching forward! Crawling with all his strength! The Dublin Daredevil, so close, and yet so far away!”

EMAII: “Referee! Kick the rope away! I command thee!”

LH: “This crowd doing everything they can to push the Daredevil forward! Chris DeVille refusing to let go! Dublin clutching his head and trying to fight against the pain wracking his body! He’s . . . he’s pushing himself up! Dublin Daredevil attempting to relieve some of the pressure, using all the force in his body to push up, but DeVille still forcing him down and back, stretching him out! He’s got – WAIT! HE LUNGES FORWARD! HE’S GOT THE ROPE! DAREDEVIL GRABS THE ROPE! With all the muscle he could muster, the Dublin Daredevil pushed himself up and out, making up those last few inches he needed! The referee breaks the hold!”

EMAII: “And thus his family is forfeit.”

LH: “Daredevil is down, but he did not submit! Chris DeVille, stalking him as he rises! He’s in position to Read Him His Rights! He’s just begging The Daredevil to turn around! Dublin Daredevil, perhaps not with total control over his legs after that extended Bail Revoked hold! Dublin trying to pull himself up using the ropes, and DeVille just waiting to pounce! The crowd trying to warn DD!!”

EMAII: “Silence you braying sheep! When DeVille breaks him in half you may preserve his entrails as collector’s items!”

LH: “Dublin Daredevil turns – DeVille charges – INTO A ROUNDHOUSE KICK BY JONNIE ROSE!! THE HOLLYWOOD HEARTTHROB WAS PLAYING POSSUM! HE JUST PLANTED CHRIS DEVILLE! The Bounty Hunter is OUT! He charged right into Rose’s kick!! Jonnie Rose with a sly look in his eye! He was waiting for this moment!”

EMAII: “Perhaps for all his life! Oh evil lord!”

LH: “Did you just use Phil Collins lyrics?”

EMAII: “The most evil of all members of Genesis.”

LH: “Jonnie Rose makes a beeline for the Dublin Daredevil now, and there’s a hard Irish whip – and he follows it up with a clothesline into the corner! DD is down! Jonnie Rose going up! HE’S GOING FOR – THE FALLING STAR! FALLING STAR TO – NO!! DEVILLE MOVES!! Jonnie Rose catches only the mat!! Rose may have injured himself coming down! AND THE DUBLIN DAREDEVIL POUNCES! IRISH LULLABY! IRISH LULLABY TO JONNIE ROSE!”

EMAII: “NO! CURSES! Don’t you dare fall asleep, Jonnie Rose, or I shall see to it you never awaken!”

LH: “The Dublin Daredevil’s sleeper hold is crushing down on the Hollywood Heartthrob! The referee is checking him! He’s got his arm! Rose is trying to shove him off, but he’s fading fast! Oh my, he’s got nowhere to go! Dublin Daredevil with Jonnie Rose right in the middle of the ring! The referee lifts his arm . . .



It falls once!!





The referee checking again . . . .






It falls twice!!






This is it! The Dublin Daredevil will win this match if Jonnie Rose can’t respond a third time! He lifts the arm . . .



















. . . CHRIS DEVILLE! CHRIS DEVILLE READS HIM HIS RIGHTS!!! The Bounty Hunter just speared both men at once!!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHAHAHAHA! The greatest part of a triple threat match! With every move, the potential for carnage could be doubled!”

LH: “DeVille out of nowhere! He just speared Jonnie Rose into the Dublin Daredevil!! My God, he’s got a cover!! Cover on the Dublin Daredevil!! DeVille hooks the leg!!”



ONE!!


























TWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!























































THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!


*DingDingDing!!*

Now you're messin with a
A son of a bitch
Now you're messin with a son of a bitch

PETE DUX: “Your winner, as a result of a pinfall . . . THHHHEEEE BOUNTY HUNTER, CHRIS! DeVIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLE!”

Now you're messin with a
A son of a bitch
Now you're messin with a son of a bitch

LH: “Chris DeVille pins the Dublin Daredevil! The Bounty Hunter just became the number one contender to Rasco Raines’ Pay-Per-View Championship!”

EMAII: “Indeed! And let us not forget that the Bounty Hunter already once defeated The One Man Show in brutal combat! Surely it is only a matter of time before he strips him of his belt as well as his dignity!”

LH: “All three men gave it their all, but you and I both know that anything can happen in a triple threat match, and Chris DeVille scouted out the perfect moment to strike. He’ll be next in line to face Rasco – that is, if the champ can make it through tonight with his title intact!”

EMAII: “I care not for Mace Richter, but he makes a habit of battling those I would destroy.”

LH: “That match is later tonight, but up next we have Scourge facing Chaos in a rematch from the Mary Bencivegna Memorial Tournament, but this time it’ll be No Disqualifications! That match will begin in – wait, something’s happening?”

(The camera pulls away from ringside and suddenly we find ourselves staring at the vacant-but-active NEFW Tag Team Titles. The shot hovers on the golden face of each belt momentarily before pulling back to reveal the office of the General Manager, Simon Polinetti. The tag titles rest upon his desk, and the General Manager himself sits with his fingers steepled, a look bordering on consternation on his face. Behind his desk, “Smasher” John Harrison leans up against the wall. The boss is in a smart, well-cut suit, Smasher is more dressed down in slacks and a dress shirt, but seems like he may have begun working out lately. The rolled-back sleeves of his shirt reveal definition he wasn’t showing the last time he came around to visit with friends.)

(Despite their attire, both men seem gravely concerned about something, and the cause of this is revealed when a sharp slapping sound startles the audience as they watch events unfold. The camera pulls back again to reveal a clearly irate Brandon Charm. Behind him looms the ever-present figure of his bodyguard, the imposing and unforgiving Titanicus.)

BRANDON CHARM: “What the HELL is this about, Pollinetti? What kind of game are you trying to play with me?”

SIMON POLLINETTI: “I’m not playing any games. I’m just telling you what was told to me.”

CHARM: “That’s rich. You’re the General Manager. You can’t keep control of your own show?”

POLLINETTI: “I’m trying to keep control of the NEFW! I got a call this afternoon. You’re out of the main event. That’s all there is to it.”

CHARM: “Says WHO?”

(The GM sighs, and his look becomes momentarily distant. There is clear aggravation in his demeanor, though not necessarily because of the original International Alliance leader’s presence.)

POLLINETTI: “I wish I knew.”

(With a contemptuous sweep, Charm knocks the tag titles off of Pollinetti’s desk. The GM rises to his feet, and as soon as he does, Titanicus steps forward. That brings Smasher off the wall, and a staredown ensues. The camera focuses in on the two before Brandon puts a hand up, and his bodyguard stands down.)

CHARM: “Looks like you’re as powerless now as you were back then. You don’t even know who’s bankrolling this operation.”

“SMASHER” JOHN HARRISON: “Charm, I think it’s time you leave.”

CHARM: “That what you think? Well I think I came here for a match, so you better do something about that . . . ‘boss.’”

(The GM takes a slow breath in and out. His eyes narrow as Charm stares him down.)

POLLINETTI: “Brandon. I know you want a piece of Suess and Drayven. I want to give it to you. But I need to keep this show running, and I need money to do it. When word comes down from our corporate sponsor, my hands are tied. That’s all there is to it. There’s nothing I can do.”

(Charm draws himself back. His visage is a mixture of appraisal, a smirk, and a sneer. Slowly, he bends down, dragging the two Tag Team title belts off the floor. Without a word, he drops them back onto Pollinetti’s desk.)

CHARM: “You know what? I believe you. But there’s something I can do. And I’m gonna go do it right now.”

POLLINETTI: “What are you – “

CHARM: “You don’t need to know, Pollinetti. It’s one more thing you can’t do anything about.”

(Without another word, Charm turns and walks past Titanicus. The seven-foot bodyguard grunts once in Smasher’s direction, and then follows his boss out. The camera tightens in on the GM as he watches Charm go, consternation playing openly on his face as the scene fades . . .)
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(We return to ringside, where the camera finds the announce team contemplating what they just saw.)

LH: “Why would our anonymous corporate backer not want Brandon Charm in the main event tonight?”

EMAII: “The mind boggles at the possibilities. Is it to hurt Charm or lend him aid? Is it a clue, perhaps, to the identity of our financier?”

LH: “But is it to hurt Charm or protect him? Or maybe someone wanted to take out Blade’s partner for the match tonight! Or maybe someone just wants to make Suess and Drayven’s job easier!”

EMAII: “Whatever the case, the foul blackness where my heart once beat exults! I will not have to watch Brandon Charm and The Fallen face one another. Now I may simply enjoy a horrendously one-sided beating down of Blade.”

LH: “Well somehow I doubt we’ve seen the last of Brandon Charm for the evening, but it’s time now for our next match!”

EMAII: “Excellent! Let loose the beast, so that the blood may begin to flow!”

PETE DUX: “Lllllllladies and gentlemen, the following match, set for ONE fall, is a NO DISQUALIFICATION match!”

(The lights in the arena dim, and take on a dull, reddish haze, the color of rust. Faintly, the sound of drums begins beating steadily from behind the entrance ramp. Wisps of thin, oozing mist start slowly making their way down the entranceway, thick enough that they drip disturbingly off the sides.)

PETE DUX: “Introducing first . . . from PARTS UNKNOWN, weighing in! At! FIVE HUNDRED! AND FOOOOORTY FOUR POUNDS . . .

(As the drums continue to beat, maintaining their rhythm but growing louder, the sound of chains being dragged across metal becomes audible. Someone emerges from the back, a handler, followed by three more, each holding a length of metal chain in hand. The four men stop, looking back just behind the curtain. The drums grow louder, and louder, and louder still as the mist grows thicker, and then suddenly fall heart-stoppingly silent.)

PETE DUX: “He is the SUPERBEAST . . . “

(Without warning, an inferno erupts from the entrance ramp, the darkness replaced by a raging wall of flame. A figure emerges from the back, chains binding his arms and legs, and a terrible glow coming from behind the eyes of his thick metal mask, made all the more terrifying by the reflection of the flames . . .)

Shriek the lips
Across ragged tongue,
Convulsing together.Sing
violently, Move the jaw
Cry aloud. Bound up the Dead
Triumphantly

PETE DUX: “SCCCOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUURRRGGGGEEE!”

The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
You pray so hard on bloody knees.
The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
Down in the cool air I can see.

(A fifth handler emerges from behind the monster, and he struggles to keep his hands from shaking as he releases each shackle, one by one. As soon as the chains they hold fall, each one of the other handlers drops their end and rushes off towards the back. As the wall of fire subsides, the top of the ramp is empty, save for the beast of a man on top of it, heaps of thick iron at his feet.)

Hey, Yeah - I'm the one that you wanted
Hey, Yeah - I'm your Superbeast
Hey, Yeah - I'm the one that you wanted
Hey, Yeah - I'm your Superbeast

(Rob Zombie’s “Superbeast” plays as for a moment, he stands perfectly still, not even keeping his eyes open. Then, with a roar, Scourge displays the impossible muscle in his body, and then begins stomping towards the ring. Tongues of flame still lick at his leather boots as he marches ahead. Some brave souls in the crowd boo, but mostly the only sounds are the shrieks of those he passes by.)

LH: “Scourge is perhaps the most terrifying man in NEFW history! Has anybody else ever possessed his presence, his power? We’ve seen giants like Tiny! We’ve seen powerhouses like Joey Steroidz and Hannibal! But has there ever, ever, been any kind of monster quite like Scourge?”

EMAII: “The evil might coursing through his veins may rival the blackness which sustains even me! Quake with fear, puny mortals! The Scourge walks among you, and the other signs of the apocalypse are nigh!”

LH: “Scourge also with one of the best records since the NEFW returned! He defeated Mace Richter in the awful spectacle known as The Bloodbath! He triumphed over Fighting Mad Jesus at By Popular Demand and destroyed the ring doing it! He won the Crimson Christian’s Mary Bencivegna Memorial Tournament! He was the last man eliminated in the Pete’s Wicked Ale Weapons Battle Royal! Every time he steps into the ring, the level of violence we can anticipate skyrockets!”

EMAII: “Yes, he truly is one of the few things about this entire operation I can stomach. Speaking of stomaching things, if I ask for someone to bring me a sandwich through this headset, do you think that would happen?”

LH: “I really don’t know if now’s the time to try.”

EMAII: “Turkey and swiss, fools in the back! And may your pathetic gods save you if I don’t get relish.”

PETE DUX: “AAaaaaaaand his opponent! FROM St. Louis, MISSOURI!

Welcome to a city that'll bring you to your knees
It'll make you beg for more, until you can't even breathe
Your blindfold is on tight, but you like what you see
So follow me into the night, cuz I got just what you need

(Points of blue light begin shooting out, laser-like, from the entrance ramp as “Been to Hell” By The Hollywood Undead pumps through the MassMutual Center. Chaos’s NEFieTron video begins playing, showing a highlight reel of the biggest moments of his career.)

We're all rollin' down the boulevard, full of pimps and sharks
It's a motherfuckin' riot, we've been dying to start
You better grab a hold cuz now you know you're falling apart
You thought these streets were paved in gold
but they're dirty and dark

PETE DUX: “Weighing in at TWO hundred aaand SIXTY pounds . . . .

Been to hell!
I can show you the devil!
Down you fell
Can't hold yourself together

PETE DUX: “CHAAAAAOOOOOSSSSSS!”

Soul to sell
Down here you live forever
Welcome to a world where dreams become nightmares!

(The crowd cheers as Chaos’s name is announced. The NEFieTron flares brightly, displaying his name in bold, electric blue letters. His theme music continues to play as the screen flashes highlights from his greatest feuds, his partnership with Blade as The Brotherhood, and his matches since returning to the NEFW. Signs from the audience include “THE WORLD RETURNS TO CHAOS,” “CHAOS=RATINGS” and “I’M READY FOR THE RAPTURE” with a a set of clothes pinned to it.)

Been to hell!
I can show you the devil!
Down you fell
Can't hold yourself together
Soul to sell
Down here you live forever
Welcome to a world where dreams become nightmares!

(His theme continues, but Chaos is nowhere to be seen. After a good minute or so of the camera focusing in on the empty ramp, the arena lighting returns to normal. “Been to Hell” gradually fades, and the audience is left in a period of confusion. In the ring, Pete Dux can be seen talking through the ropes towards the timekeeper, asking what’s going on.)

LH: “Where’s Chaos?”

EMAII: “All around us, in everything and every being, waiting, growing stronger, approaching the day when it overtakes all and returns existence to the state which was intended.”

LH: “I meant the wrestler.”

EMAII: “Oh, I don’t know. I guess Scourge killed him.”

LH: “Scourge looking as confused as anybody here, and a little bit angry. I don’t know what’s happening, folks. Is there any word in the back? Hello? Does anybody know where Chaos got to?”

EMAII: “The fool has obviously turned tail and run before being made to face Scourge! The craven buffoon, his cowardice shall be the memory etched in all of our memories!”

LH: “I think there’s probably another explanation. Chaos was totally fired up for this rematch! Do you think something happened to him?”

EMAII: “If he is not in the ring and has not fled, I can only surmise that Scourge has already disposed of his remains and is now merely establishing a plausible alibi.”

LH: “Well whatever the case, we need to get to the bottom of – “

funkin' without a fear
yeah! you know what time it be (be) (be)
Cause we acome
An wee no ramp
An wee no skin up wee teet

LH: “What’s this – it couldn’t be!”

(The audience lets out a collective wave of shock as “Strike It” by Dub War takes them all by surprise. A halo of white light surrounds the entrance as the ragga beat pumps through the arena, heralding only one possible person. In the ring, Scourge freezes, craning his neck in a mixture of curiosity and contemplation.)

Top of the mosh
And we feelin' sweet
Apon the hard core ragga tip
That's how we dweet

LH: “This is Brandon Charm’s music! What’s going on here?”

EMAII: “This must be a ploy of some kind. Or else it was Charm who eliminated Chaos, and has come to propose an alliance with Scourge! Perhaps he has ground up Chaos’s body to use as chum to attract the beast?”

LH: “Scourge isn’t a shark!”

EMAII: “Scourge combines the power of a shark and a natural disaster! He’s like a . . a . . .”

LH: “Don’t say it!”

EMAII: “SHARKNADO! MWAHAHAHA! Topical references.”

Mix it up and then we roll it neet
An we a come an a look dan we
Cos we a give dem the most style
And we strike when the iron is hot

(The halo of light surrounding the entranceway suddenly flares outwards, and as it does so it ignites an enormous set of letters in front of the NEFieTron. Within moments, a set of ten-foot-high letters spelling out C-H-A-R-M radiate out towards the audience, and there is little doubt that Brandon Charm is on his way. A silhouetted figure appears in the midst of the light atop the ramp, fists at his side, as a larger form takes his flank.)

strikeit - while the iron is hot
we gotta strikewhile the iron is hot (ahh yeaah)

(As the light fades, Brandon Charm becomes visible, Titanicus at his side. The NEFW Legend is dressed to wrestle, and with a microphone in hand. The crowd lets Charm know exactly what they think of him, though there is a smattering of support mixed in by old school fans surprised by his presence. He acknowledges neither, staring only towards the ring as he brings the microphone to his lips.)

strikeit - while the iron is hot
we gotta strikewhile the iron is hot

(The music dies down, and a moment of silence passes as Brandon Charm’s eyes meet those of the Superbeast in the ring. Seconds later, he speaks.)

CHARM: “Somebody thinks . . . that they have the power to tell Brandon Charm what he can and cannot do. Somebody, somewhere out there, didn’t pay attention to my first run with this company, when I made it pretty damn clear that I’m going to do what I want, when I want, and anyone who tries to stop me is going to pay the price for it.”

(The crowd, unsure of what to do, starts up a dueling chant. One side of the arena picks up “BRAN-DON CHA-ARM” while another side fires back “BRANDON SUCKS!” In the confusion still stemming from Chaos’s disappearance and Charm’s emergence, neither chant picks up much steam as most of the audience waits to see what will happen next.)

CHARM: “So what’s about to happen is this. See, Pollinetti might be clueless, but I can guess who’s trying to keep me out of the main event, where I belong. So I’m going to send them a message. A message about what happens to people who try to stop Brandon Charm from getting what he wants.”

(Charm strides down to the middle of the ramp, never taking his eyes off of Scourge. They smolder as he grits his teeth, his muscles visibly tensing.)

CHARM: “I’m coming for you. You can try to avoid me, but you can never escape me. Like I said, I do what I want, when I want, and right now what I want is for this match to be mine. Scourge – nothing personal, but . . . you’re my message.”

(Without another word, Charm drops the mic and makes a dash for the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope. Scourge reacts instantly, grabbing for his new-found opponent, but Charm deftly evades him and counters with a snap kick straight to the Superbeast’s thigh.)

EMAII: “What is this!? Brandon Charm fighting Scourge?! No! These two must remain apart! They cannot work towards my preferred goals if they are fighting one another!”

LH: “Charm firing away kicks at the midsection of Scourge! I don’t know what to make of this! Brandon Charm has just come out here and declared that this is his match now! What happened to Chaos? Is this even –“

*DingDingDing!*

EMAII: “CURSES!”

LH: “The referee just called for the bell! It’s Brandon Charm and Scourge, no disqualifications! I don’t believe it! Charm has usurped this match! He’s here to send a message to whomever it was that kept him out of tonight’s main event!”

EMAII: “I cannot condone this! Evil forces should never collide until after good has been eliminated! This goes against the natural order of things!”

LH: “Charm with those brutal martial arts strikes, focusing on Scourge’s knees right as the match starts. He’s not being fancy, he’s just going right for cutting the big man down to size! Scourge though, shoving Charm down with those massive paws of his. Charm rolls through, back up against the ropes, and there’s another high kick to Scourge, landing right on his ribs. The monster not showing any signs that Brandon’s attacks are affecting him, and he swipes at Charm with a clubbing forearm! Charm deftly evades.”

EMAII: “I don’t know who I want to win! I have this strange feeling, like I’m conflicted about which course of action to take!”

LH: “A moral dilemma?”

EMAII: “A what dilemma?”

LH: “Moral.”

EMAII: “I do not know this word! English is not my first tongue, pitiful Holland! Respect my culture!”

LH: “Scourge now, with a front waistlock on Charm. Charm trying to fight his way out, but he eats a belly-to-belly from the Superbeast! Scourge planting Charm down on the canvas! Now he’s dragging him back up, and there’s a tremendous whip into the corner. Charm’s spine impacting against that steel ring post. But Charm bursts out, a house of fire, as Scourge closes in! Roundhouse kick!! Again he catches Scourge in the ribs! Brandon not giving the monster a second to recover! There’s a thrust kick to Scourge’s abdomen, but that midsection is like granite!”

EMAII: “The layer covering Scourge’s epidermis was hewn from the most vile rocks ever spat from the planet’s molten core!”

LH: “Scourge again shoves Brandon Charm away contemptuously! Since the NEFW reformed, Scourge has put away Mace Richter! Fighting Mad Jesus! The Dublin Daredevil! Chaos! He dominated in the Weapons Battle Royale! A win against Brandon Charm would cement him as the top man in the company! But Brandon Charm has something to prove tonight, and we’ve all seen the lengths he’ll go to for victory!”

EMAII: “That may be true, but while Brandon Charm has all of Scourge’s viciousness and malice and then some, he lacks the capability for brutality the Superbeast possesses! Brandon Charm lives to win and to defeat others, Scourge exists simply to destroy! In this environment, his might makes right!”

LH: “Scourge whips Charm into the ring ropes, Charm bounces off, ducks underneath a big boot. Charm now off the opposite ropes, goes for a splash – No! Caught by Scourge! Into a Gorilla Press! But – Scourge not dropping him, he – HE TOSSES CHARM OUT OVER THE TOP! Brandon Charm goes from the top of Scourge’s reach to the bottom of the floor! Charm bounces off the mat! Scourge’s muscles bulging in the ring, he’s getting warmed up now! And Scourge steps over the top rope, smelling blood!”

EMAII: “Like a shark!”

LH: “Stop that!”

EMAII: “Not until SyFy accepts my submissions for the worthy follow-ups, Piranhacane and Quaketopus!”

LH: “Piranhacane will probably really get made someday.”

EMAII: “Of course it shall! Because cable TV is EVIL!”

LH: “Scourge on the outside, snatching Brandon Charm up like a child, and he slams him into the ring apron! Charm wincing in pain, but Scourge follows up with a huge knee to the gut! And now he’s elbowed down to the ground! What an assault by Scourge! Scourge relentless, dragging Charm to his feet, and –

*CRACK*

LH: “ – WHAT A KNIFE-EDGE! Scourge’s hand about the size of Brandon’s entire chest! That will tear the flesh right off of you!”

EMAII: “The least efficient, but most entertaining way to do so!”

LH: “Brandon Charm staggered, clutching his chest and his lower back after Scourge’s onslaught, but the Superbeast isn’t done. Charm with another kick to Scourge’s knee, but Scourge gets him by the arm. Whip into the steel steps – no wait! Charm with a flip over the steps! Charm avoids those steel ring steps, but Scourge is already charging after him – AND CHARM MULE KICKS THE STEPS INTO HIS PATH! Scourge knocked down by the steps, and he falls face-first over them! AND A LEG DROP BY CHARM! Guillotine by Brandon Charm! Whatever you think about the man, his skills as a technician and his ring presence, even outside the squared circle, are without question!”

EMAII: “I think he is an abominable narcissist, driven only by the desire to prove others inferior to himself.”

LH: “Yeah, but, most people view that as a bad thing.”

EMAII: “I DO view it as a bad thing.”

LH: “But most people view BAD things as bad – you know what, let’s not get into it.”

EMAII: “Mwahahaha! Let your feeble brain attempt and fail to work out my code of ethics!”

LH: “Charm calling out to Titanicus, and his bodyguard just tossed something over to him! I didn’t see what – kendo stick! It’s a kendo stick! Brandon Charm has a cane out here, and he’s watching Scourge get to his feet – AND HE CRACKS HIM ACROSS THE SKULL!”

EMAII: “Why must the two of you fight? If you joined forces, you could easily tear this federation down! My only solace is that at least I get to see heartless brutality, that’s always fun.”

LH: “Brandon Charm aiming right for Scourge’s steel mask, bouncing his skull off of it with every shot from that kendo stick! He cracks him again! Again! And again! Scourge reeling, clutching his head as he tries to get away – Charm leaps up on the apron! AND DIVES OFF WITH ANOTHER SHOT! RIGHT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! That echoed throughout the arena! Scourge falls face-first to the ground! I think there’s blood coming out of his mask! Brandon Charm has taken Scourge down! Charm holding his stick high, and now he re-enters the ring! He’s demanding the referee start a count!”

EMAII: “No disqualifications still allows for count-outs! He clearly seeks to demonstrate his complete dominance over Scourge.”

LH: “I think you’re right! Brandon Charm came here tonight to send a message, and that message seems to be “if I can do it to Scourge, I can do it to you!” Brandon Charm has taken the most dominant force in the NEFW and left him in a heap of his own blood outside the ring! Scourge can’t answer the count! The ref is at five!”

EMAII: “Bah!! This miserable match should never have ended this way! If these two were going to fight, I would have at least liked to see some dismemberment, perhaps a decapitation.”

LH: “Six! Seven!”

EMAII: “Disembowling at the very least.”

LH: “Eight! This is – WAIT! SCOURGE’S HAND JUST SHOT UP ONTO THE RING APRON! The beast is alive!! Nine! AND HE HURLS HIMSELF INTO THE RING! Look, you can see the blood from behind his mask dripping down his neck! Scourge is fuming! All Charm’s attack did was make him mad!”

EMAII: “Scourge is always mad, this just made him focus that rage on a particular target.”

LH: “Charm not showing any signs of intimidation, rushing Scourge with that cane again – but Scourge snatches it right out of his hands! Scourge breaks the cane in his grasp and tosses it out of the ring! Charm not wasting time being amazed, he throws another kick to Scourge’s midsection! And anoth – no! Scourge catches his leg! He shoves Charm down and grabs the other – airplane spin! OUT UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE! Scourge flinging Charm back to the outside again, and Brandon skids across the ground! He’s suffering out there, and the monster is already stepping out over the top rope to follow!”

EMAII: “Scourge! Devour his heart! Once you gain his power, you shall be unstoppable, and I will never again be put in this position!”

LH: “Charm trying to rise, but Scourge is already – wait! Titanicus! Titanicus rushing to the side of his boss! My Lord, even Titanicus is dwarfed by Scourge, but the 7-footer still fires off a big right hand! Scourge taken by surprise, and now he eats a big boot!! Size 20 boot right to the chest! Scourge is down!”

EMAII: “You would think that no disqualifications would appeal to me more, but the idea that these things are no longer illegal takes away most of their desirability for me.”

LH: “Titanicus lays some boots to Scourge for good measure, and now the bodyguard checking on his boss. Charm is slow to rise, I don’t know if he was prepared for the kind of power Scourge has on his side here. He’s already taken some big hits, even though he’s dished it out as well. Charm waves off Titanicus’s help, getting to his feet, and – OH! SCOURGE HAS TITANICUS! FULL NELSON SLAM! The Superbeast just DRILLED Brandon Charm’s bodyguard into the entrance ramp! I think he left a dent!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHAHAHA! Surprise violence is often the best kind!”

LH: “Scourge destroying Titanicus with that full nelson slam, and now he turns his eyes back to Brandon Charm – but he’s too slow! Charm with another kick to the knees, and he’s already moved out of Scourge’s reach! No small feat, I might add. Brandon circling the ring, and Scourge hot on his trail! Charm rolls back in, and the monster brings himself up to meet him – standing dropkick by Brandon Charm! Scourge staggered on the ring apron, arms cartwheeling as Charm runs to the opposite ropes, now back again – DIVE THROUGH THE ROPES INTO SCOURGE! Charm takes him all the way out and into the crowd barrier! What impact by Brandon Charm! Scourge is – MY GOD!! SCOURGE GRABS CHARM AND DELIVERS A CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM ON THE OUTSIDE!”

EMAII: “This monster has survived the Bloodbath! A fall from the ring apron is nothing to him!”

LH: “I don’t know about that, as Scourge seems unable to capitalize on his big move. Brandon Charm is unmoving after taking that chokeslam right to the floor! Scourge taking a moment to gather himself, I think he’s having some trouble after all those cane shots after all. Scourge shaking the cobwebs out, and now he scoops Charm onto his shoulder – oh, and a fallaway slam! Right on the outside! Scourge really shaking Brandon Charm up here! Charm is clawing at the mat, but Scourge grabs his legs and hurls him back up. And the giant tosses him back into the ring.”

EMAII: “Brandon Charm fought a dirty and underhanded battle, but in the end he was no match for Scourge’s raw brutality. End him quickly, Scourge! He was a tribute to the cause, I would not see him suffer overmuch. Simply feast upon his liver and be done with it.”

LH: “Scourge coming back into the ring now, and he goes right for Brandon. Scourge’s hulking frame lording over his fallen foe, and now the Superbeast drags Charm to his feet, turning him around for the Scourge!! WAIT! OH GOD! OH GOD! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!? SCOURGE’S HAND IS CUT WIDE OPEN! The monster is rearing back in pain!! What did – LOOK! Brandon Charm!! He’s got a piece of the kendo stick Scourge broke earlier!! He must have grabbed it while they were on the outside! He just cut Scourge’s hand right across the palm!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHA! At long last, someone who truly understands the meaning of “no disqualification!”

LH: “Scourge growling at his wounded palm in anger as Charm staggers to his feet! Charm stabs again – no! Scourge grabs his hand! AND HE CRUSHES THE STICK!! Charm screaming in pain! The shards from that stick being driven into his hand as it breaks! Both men now needing stitches! But Charm swipes at Scourge with his bloodied palm, breaking off some of the splintered wood! Charm using his own wound as a weapon!”

EMAII: “How resourceful! I shall have to remember that in the future. Note to self: beat people with their own wounds.”

LH: “Scourge with a huge open-palm slap! He just left a bloodied handprint across Charm’s entire chest! Brandon kicks at Scourge’s knee again, and again, and again! Scourge’s knee finally buckling, but the big man goes down with a palm thrust to Charm! Charm sent backwards into the ropes as Scourge picks himself back up. Charm goes to the outside, and makes his way under the ring! What’s Charm doing?”

EMAII: “If he’s seeking to use the corpse I was keeping there as a weapon, he’s too late. I used it in the ritual I was saving it for this morning.”

LH: “You what?”

EMAII: “How else am I to use the carpool lane, pitiful Holland?”

LH: “You drive here? And you use a dead body for the carpool lane? I take the bus every time! You live two blocks away from me!”

EMAII: “This was all taken into consideration when I decided to use the corpse.”

LH: “I hate you.”

EMAII: “MWAHAHAHAHAHA!”

LH: “Scourge pulling broken splinters out of his palm, and you can feel the anger coming off of him! He leaps out over the top rope after Brandon Charm, who’s somewhere beneath the – wait, Charm emerging here next to the announce position . . .he’s got something . . . a table! It’s a table! Brandon Charm emerges with a table, and the crowd likes this development!”

EMAII: “Silence, braying mules! I was saving that table for an unrelated ritual!”

LH: “Not following up on that one. Charm slides that table into the ring, and Scourge sees him! Both men reentering the ring, and Charm goes right for Scourge with a series of punches to the ribs he’s been working on! Scourge, fighting back with a stunning right hand! And now he throws Charm into the corner. Scourge with another fearsome palm slap, leaving a bloody streak across Brandon’s chest! It’s hard to tell if that’s from Scourge’s hand or if the chop stripped the skin from Brandon! Scourge ramming his shoulder into Brandon Charm over and over again, driving the wind out of him! He’s going to break his chest wide open like that!”

EMAII: “It is the quickest way to a man’s heart, though usually you would want to use a power drill, or some sort of scooping implement.”

LH: “Scourge’s raw power not far off the mark! Charm is reeling, and now Scourge . . . HE’S GOT HIM! THE SCOURGE – NO WAIT! Charm has his feet hooked underneath the top ropes!! Scourge can’t get him to let go! OH! CHARM THROWS HIMSELF FORWARD! TORNADO DDT! TORNADO DDT TO SCOURGE! CHARM BREAKS FREE! Scourge is planted face-first on the mat! How did Brandon Charm pull that one out?!”

EMAII: “In moments of extreme distress, a cornered Brandon Charm will sometimes lash out aggressively at its attacker, buying itself time to flee.”

LH: “This isn’t Animal Planet!”

EMAII: “We have already covered that Scourge is at least partially a shark.”

LH: “Charm pulling himself to his feet, stumbling over to that table he brought in. He’s setting it up now . . .and he’s . . .he’s planting it in between the ropes! He’s got the legs balancing the table between the top and middle ropes! What does he intend to do here? That table now forming a barricade between the wrestlers and the ring post. Scourge, back on his feet, Charm right on him. Kick to the gut as Scourge rises, and now some more quick strikes to that knee he’s been working on. Scourge staggering away from Charm, but Brandon not letting up – OH! Scourge with a headbutt! A headbutt with that metal mask! Brandon seeing stars! BIG BOOT! No matter what Charm does to Scourge, he can’t keep him down! The Superbeast scraping Charm off the mat, and – OH MY! A PILEDRIVER! PILEDRIVER! SCOURGE DRILLS CHARM INTO THE MAT HEAD AND NECK FIRST! AND HE’S GOING FOR A COVER!”



ONE!!































TWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!































THREE – NO! NO! CHARM HANGS ON! CHARM GETS A SHOULDER UP!

EMAII: “You have only earned yourself more pain, Brandon Charm! Abandon this foolish course of action!”

LH: “Charm hanging on through that enormous piledriver, but Scourge looks like he’s intent on putting him away now. This match with huge implications for both men. Charm looking to send a message to our anonymous corporate sponsor, and Scourge clearly smelling the opportunity for bigger and better things if he comes out on top here.”

EMAII: “Fah! As if there were any situation wherein Scourge would not simply rampage his way to the top, should he so desire.”

LH: “A valid point as Scourge drags Brandon Charm to his feet. Scourge sends him into the ropes, and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl slam! Scourge moving into manhandling mode as Charm can’t defend himself. He’s got Charm by the hair, and the Superbeast is . . . dragging him up by the hair! Oh, look at the pain on Charm’s face! He could tear it out by the roots! Charm . . . oh! Charm with a throat punch!! Scourge drops him now! And Charm immediately follows up with a dropkick to that right knee again! It buckles underneath the Superbeast! Charm backing off, ducking underneath that table he set up earlier!”

EMAII: “That paltry fortress of plywood and iron shall avail you naught! Surrender, and live to spread evil another day!”

LH: “Charm now, looks like he’s pulling off that ring post padding. Not sure what he intends to do with that as it’s behind the table . . .oh, and Scourge already back on his feet! Charm tears the pad off, and now scrambles up the top rope! Brandon bleeding where Scourge headbutted him, but look at his face! He’s still not showing an ounce of intimidation! I don’t think there’s any doubt in Charm’s mind that he can win this!”

EMAII: “You are too cocky, Brandon Charm! This weakness will be your undoing! You rise above your station by challenging foes such as Scourge and The Fallen! Your place is in the army of darkness, defeating those such as the Dublin Daredevil and Doctor Melancholy!”

LH: “And also Ash.”

EMAII: “THAT IS NOT THE ARMY I WAS SPEAKING OF!”

LH: “Charm on the top rope, Scourge in the middle of the ring, and – WAIT! FROM THE OUTSIDE! TITANICUS! HE JUST TOSSED A STEEL CHAIR TO BRANDON CHARM! CHARM OFF THE TOP –“

*CRACK!*

LH: “ – AND A CHAIRSHOT RIGHT TO THE HEAD OF SCOURGE!”

EMAII: “When did Titanicus rise?! Scourge! You neglected to finish one meal before moving on to the next!”

LH: “But Scourge is still on his feet!! My God! Scourge didn’t fall! But he’s reeling as Charm turns to face him! He takes – “

*SMaCk!!*

CROWD: “OOOOOOOOOH!”

EMAII: “BWAHAHAHAHA! THIS is the power of which I spoke!”

LH: “SCOURGE JUST PUNCHED THE STEEL CHAIR RIGHT INTO CHARM’S FACE! CHARM DOWN LIKE HE WAS SHOT! THERE’S A KNUCKLE-SHAPED DENT IN THAT CHAIR! SCOURGE . . . WITH THE COVER! THIS IS IT!”


ONE!!!

































TWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!



















































































THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHARMKICKSOUT!!

EMAII: “WHAT?!”

LH: “MY GOD! CHARM KICKED OUT! Was that a spasm!? Is he actually still conscious after that?!”

EMAII: “Have I perhaps underestimated his resilience? Or overestimated Scourge’s power? No! The fault cannot lie with me. Therefore I call shenanigans! SHENANIGANS!”

LH: “Scourge shaking with rage! He’s bringing his hand up for The Scourge! He wants to end this once and for all! Charm trying to turn back over and get to his feet! My God, he is busted wide open. Brandon Charm covered in blood at this point, and Scourge not much better off! We can see the blood from whatever injury he suffered behind that mask is now caking his neck and chest, plus both men bleeding from their hands!”

EMAII: “Yes, let the ring devour your blood, and develop a taste for human flesh!”

LH: “If the ring wants blood, it certainly has its fair share of it tonight, and Charm is rising, unaware of Scourge lurking behind him! He – WAIT! Titanicus sliding into the ring! He’s got another chair with him, and – NO! SCOURGE SAW HIM! HE BATS THE CHAIR DOWN! THE SCOURGE! THE SCOURGE!! SCOURGE TO THE SEVEN-FOOT-TALL TITANICUS!!! RIGHT ONTO THE SAME CHAIR HE BROUGHT IN! Titanicus is out!! Scourge effortlessly destroying him!”

EMAII: “You fool! Imagine how much easier it would be to work as a bodyguard for a corpse! You should have stayed out of this!”

LH: “Titanicus down in the ring – but Charm is up! AND HE NAILS SCOURGE’S KNEE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR! Scourge is down, and Brandon follows up with another shot to the head! But Charm can’t follow up! Scourge down on his knees and reeling, but Charm drops the chair! He’s too woozy himself to keep up the pace!”

EMAII: “And this is where Scourge shall triumph! His body is an engine of destruction and pain, fueled by malice and rage! Scourge is, and shall ever be, a monster! And at the end of the day, Brandon Charm is but a man!”

LH: “Charm can barely stay on his feet as Scourge rises! Scourge sees Charm is helpless! He’s rushing in – “

*CrAAASSSH!*
*KlaNG!*

CROWD: “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

EMAII: “IMPOSSIBLE!”

LH: “DROP TOE HOLD!! DROP TOE HOLD!! BRANDON CHARM BAITED SCOURGE!! DROP TOE HOLD, AND THAT INJURED KNEE COULDN’T HOLD UP! SCOURGE JUST CRASHED THROUGH THAT TABLE AND HIT THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE!! AND THE MONSTER – IS – STILL – STANDING!!”

EMAII: “How did Brandon Charm conceive this plan!? How did he execute it!? This is impossible! No one is that cunning!”

LH: “The ring presence, the strategy of Brandon Charm is second to none! He was ten moves ahead! BUT SCOURGE IS STILL ON HIS FEET! THE SUPERBEAST SWAYING LIKE A TREE IN THE BREEZE, BUT HE WILL NOT GO DOWN!”

EMAII: “All of Brandon Charm’s planning, no matter how skillfully executed, is for naught if he lacks the power to bring Scourge down! AND HE DOES!”

LH: “Scourge is SOMEHOW starting to regain his bearings! He’s dragging himself around and – CHARM TOSSES THE CHAIR AT HIM – NO! Scourge catches it – “

*C-KraCk!*

LH: “AND CHARM SUPERKICKS IT INTO HIS FACE! THAT GOT HIM! THAT GOT HIM! SCOURGE COLLAPSES INTO THE CORNER!”

EMAII: “How? How does Brandon Charm keep going? Is his thirst for vengeance against the Fallen so great as to push him to these lengths? If so, I am conflicted all over again, because now I desperately want to see what tortures he can inflict upon them if given free rein to!”

LH: “Wait, Scourge lying in the corner, that steel chair still draped over him, but what’s Charm doing? He’s . . . he’s climbing the turnbuckle on the opposite side of the ring! You don’t think – it couldn’t be! It couldn’t be!!”

EMAII: “What fresh new hell is this?!”

LH: “Charm sizing up Scourge from across the ring! The Superbeast is unmoving! He’s up on the top turnbuckle! Charm couldn’t possibly be – MY GOD, HE – “

*BRAcaaKK!*

LH: “VAN TERMINATOR! VAN TERMINATOR! BRANDON CHARM GOES COAST TO COAST ON SCOURGE! THAT CHAIR KICKED INTO HIS FACE FROM CLEAR ACROSS THE RING!”

EMAII: “BAH! I should be able to enjoy bloodshed like this without reservation! Curse you, Brandon Charm, for giving me conflicted emotions!”

LH: “Charm is dragging Scourge by his legs to the middle of the ring, and now he’s planting that chair down beneath him! Go for the pin, Brandon! This could be your only chance!”

EMAII: “Are you cheering on Brandon Charm?”

LH: “No! But if he lets Scourge recover after this, the Superbeast will just tear his arms off and beat him to death!”

EMAII: “ . . . Charm! Allow Scourge to recover!”

LH: “Charm is trying to revive Titanicus now! What is he possibly thinking, not going for a cover here?! The big man is rising, but Scourge, BY GOD, Scourge is starting to stir as well! How he’s not unconscious is beyond me! Titanicus on his feet, and Charm rushing over to the monster! What is he . . .WAIT, WAIT! He’s setting him up – it couldn’t be!! Charm, you can’t DO this! I mean, literally, you are physically incapable of – WAIT! NO! TITANICUS WITH THE ASSIST! THAT’S WHY HE NEEDED HIM! CAN THEY – “

*CrrRUNCh!*

LH: “BRANDON BOMB! BRANDON BOMB! BRANDON BOMB! BRANDON CHARM DELIVERS A BRANDON BOMB TO SCOURGE WITH AN ASSIST FROM TITANICUS! ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! AND NOW CHARM COLLAPSES ONTO SCOURGE! IT’S A COVER!”


ONE!!!













































TTTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!




































































TTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!


*DingDingDing!*

strikeit - while the iron is hot
we gotta strikewhile the iron is hot (ahh yeaah)

PETE DUX: “Here is your winner . . . BRRRAAANDON! CHAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRM!”

strikeit - while the iron is hot
we gotta strikewhile the iron is hot

LH: “Scourge shed his blood! He battered his bones! He beat him senseless! But Brandon Charm played the game like a chess master and maneuvered Scourge right where he wanted him! Charm a bloody mess as Titanicus pulls him off of the Superbeast! I cannot believe Brandon Charm is still conscious! I can’t believe he managed to win!”

EMAII: “Savor your victory while it lasts, Brandon Charm! If you truly seek to confront The Fallen next, you will only taste bitter defeat at the hands of Suess and Drayven!”

LH: “Charm being supported by Titanicus, but he pushes himself off! Good Lord, his face and chest a mask of blood, both his and Scourge’s!”

EMAII: “BWAHAHAHAHA! Unsanitary.”

LH: “Charm calling for a microphone! What’s he got to say after this spectacle?”

(Charm is handed a microphone by a ring hand, which catches only his labored rasping for a few moments before he finally is able to speak. He turns his head towards the top of the ramp, using his uninjured hand to wipe blood and sweat from his eyes, and then manages to speak through his gasps.)

CHARM: “Message . . . sent.”

(With that, he tosses the mic down and lurches forward, staggering out under the bottom rope and cradling his wounded hand as he makes his way back up the ramp, his music blaring triumphantly through the MassMutual Center.)

(As Charm exits, the camera cuts to the backstage area, where we find an expectant Hugh Jass waiting outside the locker room. A Snicker’s bar is in his mouth like a cigar as he watches the door. Just as it opens, he revs the motor on his Rascal and moves in closer, raising a microphone that had been concealed behind his girth. A cheer can be heard as the Night’s Crusader, Blade, emerges from the room.)

HUGH JASS: “Blade! Blade! A word for the fans! What do you think of facing the Fallen here tonight without a tag partner? Do you have any words for Suess after he betrayed you at Love and War?”

(Blade stops and appraises Hugh, rolling his shoulders once and looking down towards the microphone. The cross around his neck dangles low as he leans forward, turning to face the camera as he does so.)

BLADE: “What else needs to be said? Suess, Drayven, you have manipulated us up to this point, but with a partner or no, now you face the Night’s Crusader with his eyes wide open. To the Fallen . . .Darkness falls.”

(Blade turns and walks away before Jass can get another word out of him. Suddenly, a commotion distracts the cameraman, and the scene spins around to find Simon Pollinetti hurrying through the halls just outside the locker room.)

POLLINETTI: “Move aside. Move aside. Has anybody seen Chaos? Does anybody know what – the locker room.”

(He turns in mid-stride, brushing past Hugh and some of the backstage crew as he makes his way towards the locker room)

POLLINETTI: “Don’t know why I didn’t check there first . . . hey, hey, has anybody seen Chaos? We can’t find – “

CHAOS: “Hey, boss.”

POLLINETTI: “Hi. Has anybody seen . . . Chaos!”

CHAOS: “Yo.”

(Pollinetti turns to face the man who walked by him moments earlier. Dumbfounded, he gapes for a moment, and then manages to collect himself.)

POLLINETTI: “What are you doing here?! Why weren’t you out for your match? Did Brandon assault you? Did Scourge?! Did something - “

CHAOS: “Whoa, whoa, boss. No. Nothing like that.”

(Chaos pulls in his trenchcoat, the fit tight around his shoulders. Gingerly, he runs his fingers along the crucifix around his neck.)

CHAOS: “Charm just gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Don’t worry. I’ll still wrestle for you.”

POLLINETTI: “Brandon Charm doesn’t book matches here! That was supposed to be your match, and now I don’t know what kind of mess I’ll be in once – “

CHAOS: “Hey, wait. Let me tell you what the offer was. Then make up your mind.”

POLLINETTI: “ . . . I’m listening.”

(Chaos looks around conspiratorially, and then leans in closer to the boss as the camera pulls away . . .)

(We return to ringside, where the debris from the previous match is being cleared away as the equipment for the next one is being set up.)
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EMAII: “CURSE YOU, STRATEGIC CUTAWAYS!”

LH: “What did Brandon Charm offer Chaos to back out of his match? Chaos was chomping at the bit for another shot at Scourge!”

EMAII: “Clearly some sort of dark hypnosis is at play here. Or Charm has begun sending Chaos the fingers of his closest family members! For every match he backs out of, he shall receive one more until he can reassemble their entire hands.”

LH: “You sound like you’re not very good at ransoming people.”

EMAII: “You don’t know my life!”

LH: “Well folks, we are just about set here for the Captain Planet match! It’s a first in NEFW history! Our defending champion, Rasco Raines, is going to be putting the Pay-Per-View Championship on the line against none other than Mace Richter. Mace has been riding high in the NEFW ever since his return. He defeated the Crimson Christian in the Build-A-Ring match. He went toe-to-toe with Scourge in the Bloodbath. He and the New Era defeated Racially Motivated Violence at 12 Beatings! If not for an injured shoulder, most people believe he would have taken the Pay-Per-View title at Love and War!”

EMAII: “He has had plenty of time to rehabilitate his pathetic mortal injuries. He will have no excuse if he does not relieve Raines of his excess gold tonight!”

LH: “For those of you who missed the announcement, this will be a 2-out-of-3-falls match, but each fall will have a different theme tied to one of the traditional elements. First, an Inferno Match! The first wrestler to set the other one on fire wins the first fall! From there we move on to earth – Buried Alive! There’s a 6-foot hole dug out by the entrance ramp, the first wrestler to drop his opponent in the hole and cover him with dirt wins the second fall! If the match continues after that, we’re combining the elements of water and air for the final fall. In a move not seen since the days of Gorgeous George, we’ll be filling the area by ringside with water as we suspend the title belt above the ring and make it a scaffold match!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHAHAHA! Burned to death, buried alive, falling to your death, and drowning! All in the same match! This may be my favorite concept match of all time.”

LH: “Ring hands of course, standing by with fire extinguishers, and paramedics are on hand, as per Massachusetts safety regulations.”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU OSHA!”

LH: “It looks like we’re all set! This is a complicated match by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m still betting it will be a classic. Pete Dux is in the ring!”

PETE DUX: “Lllllllllladies and gentlemen, the following match, set for BEST two out of THREE falls . . .is for the PETE’S WICKED ALE PAY-PER-VIEW CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, weighing in at TWO hundre and THIRTY-FIVE pounds . . . accompanied to the ring by JOHNNY CLASH . . .from Fernie. . .”

I get a feeling there’s gonna be a riot.
I don’t read the newspaper is because they all have…ugly prints
(Pete pauses dramatically)

Bring it ON!
Bring it ON!
Bring it on cuz there’s gon be shit tonight!

PETE DUX: “BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA . . . “

At the starting of the week
At summit talks you'll hear them speak
It's only Monday

PETE DUX: “MAAAAAAAACE RIIIIIICHTEEEEEEEERRR!”

Negotiations breaking down
See those leaders start to frown
It's sword and gun day

(The remix of “Six Days” by Mos Def pumps out of the arena speakers as Johnny Clash appears at the top of the ramp, Mace Richter stopping and standing behind him. As Clash moves down the ramp, playing the crowd and urging support for Mace, Richter’s gaze moves from the soon-to-be-blazing stands surrounding the ring to the grave dug by the ramp. He assesses each in turn, but then moves his gaze clearly to the championship belt suspended above the ring. Mace points at it definitively, nodding once, and then begins making his way down to the ring.)

LH: “Mace Richter looking like he’s promising a victory here tonight, pointing to the PPV title above the ring!”

EMAII: “You had best triumph, Mace Richter, for I shall not endure another moment of Rasco’s title reign!”

LH: “What have you got against Rasco, anyway?”

EMAII: “What’s it to you? Maybe it’s your mom!”

PETE DUX: “Aaaaand his opponent . . .

He's as smart as a fox, someone you can't fool
He's dressed like a Capone and he makes the rules
He's hard and he's tough and he pays the bill
Surrounded by girls with a licence to kill

PETE DUX: “He IS! The Pete’s Wicked Ale PAY-PER-VIEW CHAAAMP-I-OONNN . . .from MALIBU, CALIFORNIA, weighing in at TWO hundred and TWENTY-six pounds . . .

He can walk with a swing and he talks so cool
He knows what he does, hangin' out by schools
He's after the babes and he calls them honey
He says they are cute and he waves with money

PETE DUX: “THE ONE MAN SHOW” . . . RAAASCCOOOOOO RAAAAAAAINNES!”

Man of steel, you're so cold
Dirty Willy with your heart of gold
Man of steel, you're so cold
Dirty Willy turns lead into gold

(Rasco emerges from behind the curtain, fist held high as he flashes his flawless profile for the camera flashes bursting from a thousand cell phones around him. He brushes back his hair as he points upwards towards the Pay-Per-View Championship suspended above the ring, and then makes the belt motion across his own waist. As “Dirty Willy” by the Lords of Acid pumps through the arena and the champ’s head, he makes it halfway down the ramp and then rushes down the rest of the way, sliding past the soon-to-be-lit braziers and into the ring.)

LH: “And here’s the champ! With only one title belt currently active, that makes Rasco the #1 man in the company! And what a ride he’s already been on, winning the title in the traditional Pete’s Wicked Ale Weapons Battle Royale, and then defending it at Love and War in the Dinner, Dancing, and Romancing Match! He’s right at home in these specialty matches and he’s looking to make a point of it tonight. Rasco, of course, a former Television Champion, Cruiserweight Champion, and Tag Team champion as well.”

EMAII: “The flames care nothing for your accolades! They only hunger for flesh!”

LH: “It’s true, all the titles in the world won’t save you from the fires of an Inferno Match, and that’s the first stage we’re entering here. It looks like they’re just about ready to light those braziers up and surround the ring!”

EMAII: “Yes, yes! Bah! I should have saved that corpse I had. Now I have no use for this roasting spit I’ve got back here.”

LH: “Both wrestlers have been given the signal, and here we go!”

EMAII: “BURN BRIGHT, AND CONSUME!”

(The audience gives a gasp and “ooooo” as the lights in the arena dim and the flames go up. A wall of fire surrounds the ring, spitting up flame at regular intervals as Mace and Rasco square off.)

LH: "Rasco and Mace circling one another, both eying those flames anxiously. These inferno matches are dangerous stuff, but don't forget we have a team of trained professionals at ringside ready to administer first aid if necessary."
EMAII: "BAH! Little do they know I have replaced the flames with the ever-consuming fires of hell! The smallest burn will amount to an eternity of unspeakable agony!"
LH: "Actually these are mostly gas-powered."
EMAII: "GAS AND HATRED!"
LH: "Sounds like a trip to Red Lobster. Mace goes into a tie-up. Collar and elbow. Rasco countering his way out, they circle again, now Rasco with the tie-up. Rasco trying to overpower Mace, but Mace counters into a headlock. Trying to control the champ, looking to move him towards those flames. Rasco standing his ground though, not letting himself be moved. One of the most important parts of an Inferno Match is positioning. You want to stay in the middle of the ring and as far from the ropes as you can at all times.”

EMAII: “It is useless! If you try to avoid the flames, the flames will find you! I did not start this fire, but it shall continue consuming for as long as this wretched world is turning! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!”

LH: “Rasco shoves Mace away, but he comes right back – arm drag by Rasco, takes Mace to the mat. Rasco following up with a wristlock while Mace is down, controlling the challenger. Mace fighting back with some elbows, managing to get back to his feet, and now he counters with a reversal, he’s got a waistlock on Rasco. Suplex by Mace – no! Rasco blocks it, and fires off some shots to Mace’s abdomen. Mace stunned, and there’s a snap DDT by Rasco! The champ puts Mace down!”

EMAII: “While hilarious, physical violence counts for nothing in this phase of the match. The goal is to light your opponent ablaze! Do neither of these men simply carry a lighter?”

LH: “Rasco picks Mace up, goes for an Irish Whip, but Mace reverses, hangs on, and a kick to the gut by Mace! Scissor kick by Richter! Now Mace is on the offensive! Mace dropping an elbow to the spine of Raines, and now he’s grabbing at his legs. Mace flips him over – slingshot attempt by Mace!! Rasco into the flames – No! Rasco grabs hold of the top rope and holds on for dear life, halting his forward momentum! He stops himself short of the fire, and Mace wisely chooses to hang back. Definitely not an environment where you would attempt to charge your foe.”

EMAII: “You are too cautious, Mace! A cautious wrestler never immolates his foe!”

LH: “Rasco backing away from the braziers, and Mace is there to meet him. Right hands by Mace, but Rasco firing back. These two exchanging blows in the middle of the ring. Rasco getting the upper hand! Mace reeling as the champ fires off right hands, and now Rasco tears Mace off the mat, and into a quick pendulum backbreaker. The move he calls “Here Comes the Rain Again!”

EMAII: “You can call Rasco’s pathetic moves without listing the litany of 1980’s one-hit-wonders he names them all for.”

LH: “Rasco now with a hand on Mace’s head, trying to drag him towards the flames! Mace grabbing at Rasco’s arm, trying to fight his way out, and now he’s throwing some elbows wildly! Mace making contact with the One Man Show’s ribs, and now Richter with a leg sweep! Rasco down, but quickly out of the way and back up again. These two circling each other again, Rasco goes for a clothesline. Mace ducks, and there’s a dropkick! Rasco caught by that standing dropkick, and Rasco falls into the ropes!! Oh! He’s facing those flames, and Mace is instantly on him, trying to shove him face-first into the fire!”

EMAII: “The flames cry out in hunger! Feed them his delectable face-flesh! That’s the best flesh, you know.”

LH: “Mace pushing Rasco forward, but the One Man Show is fighting back with everything he’s got! Look at his face against those flames! You can see the sweat forming on his forehead as he struggles against Mace! Oh, and a mule kick by Rasco! Low blow!”

EMAII: “Impacted scrotums matter not to the flames!”

LH: “Rasco pulls back, and there’s a short-arm clothesline to Mace. Rasco buys himself some tme, but he didn’t like being that close to the fire. Rasco pulling Mace to his feet, and now he’s looking for the Irish whip, and he sends Mace into the corner. Flames surrounding Mace Richter as Rasco runs after him, and there’s a high knee to Mace! Richter falls to the mat, now back up on his hands and knees trying to shake the cobwebs out. Rasco’s got to get him over to the flames if he’s going to end this.”

EMAII: “Flames, leap forth and devour these two! I command thee! Also, toast this bag of marshmallows!”

LH: “Why do you have those behind the desk?”

EMAII: “You never know, pitiful Holland. You never know.”

LH: “Rasco with a waistlock on Mace, but Mace reverses. Mace with a German suplex! Mace plants the champ, and now staggers away, looking to catch his breath. Rasco down, now Mace seeing an opportunity. He’s – he’s climbing the turnbuckle now, getting dangerously close to those flames. Watch out, Mace!”

EMAII: “No! Use the fire to your advantage! Light yourself ablaze and then use your own body to destroy Rasco!”

LH: “He’d lose the first fall if he did that.”

EMAII: “Perhaps, but it would make the entire Buried “Alive” portion moot.”

LH: “Mace up top, and . . .a 450 splash!! 450 splash!! Oh my! What elevation! What impact! Mace with the splash to a prone Rasco Raines! Rasco is out! Mace nailed that 450 splash, but I think that took some of the wind out of his sails as well! With all this fire around them, you’ve gotta realize that this heat is making their efforts herculean right now.”

EMAII: “The most insidious element of the flames, their power to rob your body of moisture and sap your strength, weakening its prey for easy consumption!”

LH: “We can see Johnny Clash on the other side of those flames, urging Mace to hurl Rasco into them! Clash can’t get close enough to the ring to slap the mat, but we can hear him shouting! Mace is picking Rasco up, going to try and toss him through the ropes! OVER GOES RASCO – NO! Rasco grabs hold of the top rope!! He pulls himself back in! Rasco standing on the ring apron with those flames inches from his body!”

EMAII: “Curses!! Reach out, flames! Your meal is so close!”

LH: “Mace rushing in to push Rasco off – but Rasco with a shoulder through the ring ropes! Shoulder to Mace’s sternum, and the champ quickly slips back into the ring! Rasco now, swinging neckbreaker to Richter! Richter clutching at his neck, and Rasco checking himself over to make sure he didn’t get burned by those flames! Close call for the champion! Mace coming back up, and here comes Rasco. European uppercut by Rasco to Mace, but Mace sidesteps a second one, and there’s a knife-edge chop! That chop opened up Raines, and now Mace firing off some left hands.”

EMAII: “I long for the day when someone actually fires their left hand off, and then lays cursing in bitter shock as their blood fills the ring.”

LH: “We all have dreams. Rasco blocks a shot from Mace, and hits a big right hand of his own! And there’s a standing dropkick! Mace is down again! He’s edged out close to the flames, Rasco can take advantage here. No! Mace with a back elbow as the champ tries to drag him up, and now Richter back to his feet. Clothesline from Mace! Rasco back to his feet, ducks a second clothesline attempt. Raines with a waistlock . . . into a gutwrench suplex! That took the wind out of Mace’s sails!”

EMAII: “This heat must surely be evaporating their laughable moisture reserves by now. Wither and crumble into husks, that I might control your mummified remains to do my bidding!”

LH: “The heat is absolutely a factor here, tiring them out faster, limiting their movements, and inflicting some good ‘ol fear into the mix. Mace trying to rise, but Rasco with a handful of hair, HE’S SENDING HIM TOWARDS THE ROPES – NO! NO! Mace grabs the top rope! He’s hanging on for all he’s worth! Not letting Rasco throw him through to the flames! My God, they’re close to that fire! Mace fighting back against the champ, Rasco trying to push his head close enough to catch his hair on fire, I think! Mace trying to counter – and he does! Side Russian leg sweep! Mace takes Rasco down with the leg sweep!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHAHA! Excellent! Always sweep the leg!”

LH: “For those of you watching at home, sweeping the leg is not always a guarantee for victory.”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU, DANIEL-SAN!”

LH: “Mace rolling away, Rasco clutching the back of his head as he gets up! Mace quickly getting back to his feet! Oh, and Mace coming in fast! Clubbing forearm to Rasco Raines, and Mace wants the Irish whip, but Rasco reverses! Mace goes into the ropes!! And comes off – avoiding any burns! Incredibly close call, and now Mace off the ropes – flying elbow strike!! Rasco down! The champ is holding his nose where Mace hit him, trying to get back to his feet, oh, and he ventures too close to the ropes! Rasco scrambling backwards on his hands and feet as the fire roars within inches of him!”

EMAII: “Cowards! Accept your fate!”

LH: “Here comes Mace, pulling Rasco to his feet, and he’s plants him with a body slam! Back up, Mace putting Rasco on his shoulders, and running – he’s going to – no wait! Rasco slips down the back! Kick to the gut – POWERBOMB! Rasco going for the – WAIT! HURCANRANA! HURACANRANA BY MACE! AND IT THROWS RASCO THROUGH THE ROPES! RASCO THROWN THROUGH THE FLAMES! MY GOD!”

EMAII: “YES! YEESSS! DEVOUR ALL THAT IS RASCO RAINES, AND GROW TO CONSUME THIS ENTIRE ARENA, FIRES OF HELL!”

LH: “Rasco just landed on the outside and – HIS BOOT! HIS BOOT IS ON FIRE! Rasco’s boot caught the edge of the brazier as he was thrown head-first through those flames, and his boot is ablaze!! Here come the EMTs around ringside!”

EMAII: “I still assert we would have been better off with the ashes of EMT and Paramedic!”

*DingDingDing!*

PETE DUX: “The winner of the first fall . . . MAAAAAACE RIICHTER!!”

LH: “Mace gets the first fall! Mace lit Rasco Raines on fire! Mercifully, those braziers are finally being turned off as the first part of this match ends, with Mace now ahead 1-nothing! If he can get Rasco into the hole in the ground by the entrance ramp, he’s the new Pay-Per-View Champion!”

EMAII: “If they had but followed my suggestions for this match, the Inferno and Buried Alive portions would run close enough together that we’d already be finished.”

LH: “Whoa, speaking of which, Mace not wasting any time! The fire is down, and Mace immediately slides out of the ring and goes right for the champ! He’s dragging him away from the EMTs checking him for burns and hammering him with rights and lefts! The EMTs barely had time to extinguish Rasco’s boot, look! It’s still smoking!”

EMAII: “Yes, Mace Richter, savage your prey now that it has been weakened! Show no remorse! No restraint! There is already a grave waiting for him, it just needs you to put him in!”

LH: “Mace throwing Rasco head over heels, and he lands back-first on the steel entrance ramp! Mace all over him, planting some boots on his midsection, and Richter is looking to put this one away, no doubt about it. He tastes gold!”

EMAII: “Gold poisoning is often untraceable unless specifically looked for.”

LH: “Rasco backing away up the ramp, but Mace is right on him. Mace with a boot to the gut, and a snap suplex! Mace punishing Rasco now on that ramp, and Rasco’s staggering away dizzily, trying to put some distance between himself and Richter. Mace implacable, coming after Rasco, and – SPEAR! Spear by Rasco Raines, in what must have been an absolute desperation maneuver! Both men go tumbling down the ramp! All the way back down to the ringside area! Rasco rolling away, and finally perhaps getting that chance to catch his breath since being tossed through the fire!”

EMAII: “That paltry spear could hardly live up to the word! I see no gaping wounds!”

LH: “Rasco indeed lacking a little power on that, it was more of a tackle, really, but it got the job done. The champ taking a powder, walking around the ring to buy himself some time as Mace recovers. Rasco getting his head back in the game, but he’s got to get Richter’s head inside that pit by the ramp if he wants to hold on to his title. What’s Rasco going to do here?”

EMAII: “Curl up and die, Raines! Make this easy on yourself, and then when the dirt covers your head, lay back and accept death.”

LH: “Rasco completes a lap around the ring, and he’s brought himself back to Mace, and he greets him with a right hand across the cheek! Looks like Raines is going to just try to beat Richter into an early grave!”

EMAII: “Fire was a disappointment. These men are barely blistered! Chapped, at best! Earth had better deliver!”

LH: “As this is the Captain Planet match, the focus should really be more on helping to protect our environment and less on murdering people.”

EMAII: “Bah! I call forth the powers of Radiation, Deforestation, Smog, Toxics, and Hate! GO POLLUTION!”

LH: “Rasco and Mace continuing to battle for the Pay-Per-View title and against eco-villainy as Rasco starts to hammer Mace with clubbing forearm blows. And a clothesline takes Mace down to the ramp! The One Man Show really mounting the offense now, trying not to give Richter a chance to collect himself. He’s dragging Mace to his feet, and delivers a vertical suplex! Both men getting higher and higher up the ramp, edging closer to that pit all the time.”

EMAII: “Getting closer to the grave matters not, the important part is actually putting someone inside. Close only counts in hand grenades and attempted murder charges, which coincidentally often go hand-in-hand.”

LH: “I suppose they do. Rasco in control of Mace, and he’s battering at him with rights and lefts. And now a high knee lift right to the chest of Mace Richter. Mace doubled over, and oh, what’s – Rasco with a headlock – BULLDOG! BULLDOG OFF THE SIDE OF THE RAMP! THEY WERE SIX FEET UP! RASCO TAKES MACE DOWN HARD! HE IS OUT! MACE IS OUT!”

EMAII: “But lo! The fool has taken his own landing poorly! Observe his wretched body writhe as he attempts to right himself!”

LH: “I think you’re right on that one, Rasco standing up, but it looks like he’s having trouble with one his legs after leaping from that ramp. Does it matter at this point? Mace is down and out, planted face-first by that bulldog! The champ is hobbling, looks like he’s favoring that left knee.”

(An instant replay video airs, showing Rasco’s leap from the ramp in slow-motion. We can clearly see that as he hits the ground, his left leg connects before the rest of him and buckles on impact. The camera stops and highlights the event to emphasize the moment for the viewing audience.)

EMAII: “We’re keeping that? That’s sticking around?”

LH: “Rasco may have injured himself coming down from the ramp, but we can see now that he’s trying to steady himself. He’s hooking Mace up, and going for a suplex here on the outside – oh no! His leg gave out! Rasco Raines looks to have strained his knee out here, and he couldn’t support Mace’s weight! He’s crossing over to the crowd barrier, trying to give himself some time to recover. Richter starting to stir! Rasco better figure out what he’s going to do here quick!”

EMAII: “What can Raines do now that he has so foolishly injured his own body? He is like a lame horse! Quick, someone retrieve my shotgun, that I may end this battle personally.”

LH: “You can’t shoot the wrestlers!”

EMAII: “The shotgun was to fire celebratory shots after I turned Rasco into glue.”

LH: “Rasco is slowly starting to put weight on that leg again, testing what he can handle, but Mace is struggling back to his feet as well! Rasco trying to bridge the distance between them before his challenger can recover, but he’s too slow! Mace meets him with a big right hand! Now a left! Right! Left! Rasco blocks a right hand and fires back one of his own! And there’s an uppercut! Mace responding with a headbutt! Rasco staggered, and another punch right across the jaw of Rasco Raines!”

EMAII: “Tear his jaw off and club him with it!”

LH: “Rasco with a wild haymaker – Mace ducks it! He – my God! Look at this! He’s got him! Is he going to – HE HITS IT! 9.5! 9.5! MACE DROPS RASCO WITH THE 9.5!! THE CHAMP IS DOWN!”

EMAII: “Yes! YES! Now finish him off! You are but a few yards from that open grave, and it is calling his name!”

LH: “Mace . . . what’s Mace doing here? He’s climbing . . he’s climbing back up the ramp! Rasco Raines, positively decimated by that 9.5, motionless on the ground, and Mace is going up top. He’s gotta be 8, 10 feet in the air! What’s he going to – he’s motioning down towards Rasco, and this crowd is getting to their feet! Mace is gonna, oh my – AFTERSHOCK! AFTERSHOCK FROM – NO! RASCO MOVES! RASCO MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! OH MY GOD! MACE JUST COLLIDED WITH THE FLOOR! RASCO DODGES THE AFTERSHOCK! WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW?!”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU, MACE RICHTER! Had you simply strangled him to death this match would be over! Now look at you! All shattered ribs and splattered blood! I would be gravely disappointed were I not also very amused!”

LH: “Mace clutching his ribs and writhing in pain! He took a gamble and it didn’t pay off for him! Rasco unmoving since he rolled away from the Afterhsock, and he’s either taking the time to recover or is totally out of it himself! It might have taken all the presence of mind he had left to get himself out of the way of Mace’s finisher! But taking the 9.5 on the outside is nothing anybody can just shake off. Can Rasco recover before Mace?”

EMAII: “A time limit would have been useful. If one man has not successfully entombed the other within 5 minutes, the earth swallows both of them whole.”

LH: “Rasco is starting to show signs of life as Mace clutches his chest, no telling what he may have injured coming down from that ramp. Mace is in a world of pain, but Rasco looks like he might not even know where he is right now. The champ was positively drilled into the floor by Mace’s 9.5, but Mace has put himself in a bad position by missing the Aftershock. The One Man Show’s title reign is hanging by a thread as he starts trying to push himself to his feet! Who’s going to get up first?”

EMAII: “Raines, I demand you toss yourself into that open grave! If Mace cannot do it, it is only fair you give us what we want!”

LH: “Do the fans really want to see Rasco buried alive?”

EMAII: “I was using the evil “we.”

LH: “Like a royal we?”

EMAII: “Monarchy is inherently evil!”

LH: “Rasco using the side of the ramp as a brace, starting to pull himself upright! Mace is trying to rise, and if we know one thing for sure about Mace Richter it’s that this guy can push himself past any amount of pain so long as he’s still conscious! Mace is struggling back to his feet, fighting against what looks like it could be a rib injury. Rasco, almost back on both feet, staggering, coming back upright . . . wait, wait! Mace! Mace suddenly charging Rasco! Where did this come from!? Mace rushing Rasco Raines – no! Rasco ducks behind Mace – GERMAN SUPLEX! Rasco plants Mace! Mace is down as Rasco is dragging himself towards the pit . . and Rasco grabs the shovel!”

EMAII: “I do admire this strategy, loathe as I am to say. A man beaten to death with a shovel cannot battle back against his subsequent burial.”

LH: “I don’t think Rasco is going to try to – “

RASCO RAINES: “rrrrRRRRRAAA!”

*CLANG!*

LH: “Oh, I was wrong.”

EMAII: “BAH!”

LH: “Rasco goes to club Mace with that shovel, but Mace moved out of the way! Mace quickly rolling back to his feet, and he ducks underneath another shovel slice from Rasco! The champ trying to end this match in a hurry! Mace trying to avoid that shovel as Raines closes in on him. There’s another – no! Mace catches the shovel!! Mace Richter grabs that iron shovel, and now both men are struggling for control!”

EMAII: “Bite him in the neck!”

LH: “They’re both standing right over the grave! This could go either way here as they jockey for control of that shovel! Mace is . . . he’s doing it! He’s doing it! Mace is overpowering Rasco Raines! That’s panic on the face of the champion! Mace Richter has got him right over that pit and he’s pulling the shovel out of his hands! Rasco can’t hang on!! He’s . . . Rasco pulls it back in! Rasco now, almost has the shovel back, but Mace not letting go! Rasco’s knee is buckling, he’s trying to stay on his feet, but he’s not letting go of the shovel! Both men just inches from that six-foot hole on the ground and the mound of dirt next to it! This fight has traveled all the way up the entranceway, and it’s about to reach its climax!”

EMAII: “I have often found a good climax leaves at least one person in the ground.”

LH: “Mace . . .starting to pull back . . . Rasco is losing control! Rasco can’t overpower Mace Richter! This is about to be – “

*Ka-BONG!*

LH: “RASCO LET GO OF THE SHOVEL! MACE JUST CLOCKED HIMSELF IN THE FOREHEAD!! RICHTER IS STAGGERING . . . STAGGERING . . . AND . . . HE FALLS!! MACE TUMBLES INTO THE HOLE, SHOVEL AND ALL!”

EMAII: “WHAT STOOGERY IS THIS?!”

LH: “Rasco realizing what’s happened, but he doesn’t have the shovel!! He’s scrambling up the dirt pile, what’s he – Rasco’s tossing dirt on top of Mace with his bare hands! He’s shoveling and kicking like a dog burying a bone! The ref is running over to check! Rasco throwing dirt on top of the dazed Mace for all he’s worth! Can he cover him up!?”

EMAII: “Mace Richter, I command thee – RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!”

LH: “We can’t see in that pit! Rasco’s still throwing dirt down! Can Mace make it out?! Is he even still conscious? What’s going to happen!? Wait! Wait! The ref is . . . yes! He’s calling for the bell! Rasco has done it! Mace is completely covered in dirt!”

*DingDingDing!*

PETE DUX: “The winner of the second fall . . . “THE ONE MAN SHOW!” Rrrrrascooooo RAAAAINES!”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU, RICHTER! You can’t bury a man when the grave is already dug for you?”

LH: “Mace managed to win the fire round, but Rasco takes earth! We’re tied at one fall apiece! And look!! The pipes installed by ringside have started pumping out water! The ringhands are putting a barrier in place at the bottom of the ramp, and now that scaffold is going up! Water and air are officially beginning! This is it! The winner of the match will be the person who climbs up that scaffold and grabs the belt!”

EMAII: “Then again, I command thee, Mace Ricther . . ARISE!”

LH: “LOOK! The shovel just flew out from the grave!! Mace is up! Mace is climbing out!”

EMAII: “Called it.”

LH: “Rasco is trying to hobble back down to ringside as the water level rises. Not since the golden age of wrestling have we had a ring surrounded by water, but you’ll see it here in the NEFW!”

EMAII: “We have had matches in empty swimming pools, in haunted forests, and thousands of feet in the air! This is hardly novel, pitiful Holland!”

LH: “Yeah, but . . . pool of water.”

EMAII: “I would pity you if I could conceive of such an emotion.”

LH: “Rasco managing to scrape himself down towards ringside as Mace Richter emerges from the grave! Mace with a knot on his forehead from that shovel shot, courtesy of some Rasco Raines trickery! Rasco’s hopping the barrier, and the water’s up to his ankles already as he wades his way to the ring! Mace is in hot pursuit! Mace shaking off the dirt covering him as he staggers after Rasco! This is the final fall! Only one man can grab that belt!”

EMAII: “Speed your pathetic mortal legs up, Mace Richter! My patience for this match is at an end!”

LH: “Mace at the barrier! He hurls himself over and splashes down into the water as Rasco climbs into the ring! Rasco’s ahead, but Mace is feeling the adrenaline now! He wants that belt! Mace wants to be at the top of the mountain, and Rasco’s standing in his way!”

EMAII: “Indeed! And the only way to move up on the food chain is to feast upon the remains of he who is higher up!”

LH: “It could very well be that Mace will be the one tasting victory! He’s in the ring, and now both men are climbing the ladder up to that scaffold! The Pay-Per-View Championship is suspended just above the ring, and I don’t need to tell our viewers how dangerous a scaffold match is!”

EMAII: “The scaffold match? After Futonal Pleasure? The Snow-Globe? The Junkyard Match? The match where the object was to set your opponent on fire, that we saw TEN MINUTES AGO?”

LH: “Heights are dangerous!”

EMAII: “I am going to run you over with a car when this show ends.”

LH: “Rasco halfway up the ladder as Mace begins to climb! These two men have pushed each other through this whole match, fighting past pain and injury for the sake of the championship! The man who can grab the title belt first wins it all! Rasco is up on top of the scaffold! His knee isn’t letting him move at full speed! He’s dragging his leg across the scaffold as Mace pulls himself up! Mace rushing towards the belt!”

EMAII: “Mace, use your double jump!”

LH: “Real people can’t double jump!”

EMAII: “AND THAT IS WHY THEY FAIL!”

LH: “Rasco cuts off Mace! There’s a big right hand! And another! Rasco trying to batter him away from the belt, suspended just a few feet above their heads! These men are twenty feet above the ring now, battling on that narrow platform as the water surrounding the ring reaches the top of the crowd barrier!”

EMAII: “Don’t shut the pipes off! Drown these sheep!”

LH: “Fortunately we’ve been cordoned off from the rest of the ringside area for this match, along with all of our sensitive electrical equipment. But if the water were to rise too high and spill over . . .”

EMAII: “Fine, shut the pipes off. Though not even the greatest of Zeus’s fury could stop me!”

LH: “Mace with a European uppercut to Rasco Raines! Rasco staggers back, and now Mace with a wristlock, driving Rasco to his knees! Mace holding him down with one hand as he reaches up for the title belt with the other! HE’S GOT IT! HE’S GOT IT! Mace has his hands on the belt! Can he – NO WAIT! Rasco risks that wrist and shoulder and springs up, driving himself into Mace’s midsection! BIG BACK BODY DROP! Rasco using leverage, flips Mace over!! Mace falls onto the scaffold! Oh, but the impact shook up Rasco, and his knee gave out again!”

EMAII: “Give him no time to recover, Mace Richter! Tear his patella free from its fleshy prison!”

LH: “Mace righting himself as Rasco limps back up! Mace with a big left – Rasco blocks it! And responds with a knee to Mace’s gut! Rasco now, hammering hard forearms into Mace’s torso, trying to take advantage of his injury from that missed Aftershock! Mace is staggering back! Wait! Mace ducks underneath a shot, and now there’s a heart punch! Rasco stunned by that heart punch, and Mace taking advantage – STO! STO onto the scaffold! WAIT! RASCO ROLLS AS HE FALLS! BOTH MEN GO OVER THE SIDE – NO!! RASCO HOLDS ON TO THE EDGE – BUT MACE HOLDS ON TO RASCO!!”

EMAII: “Now, Mace! While you have the chance! Tear his spine from his back and choke him with his own central nervous system!”

LH: “Rasco Raines clutching on to the side of the scaffold, and Mace is holding on to him! Both men dangling nearly two dozen feet above the ring! Mace is climbing up Rasco’s back! Mace using the champ as a ladder to get back on top as Rasco struggles to shake him off and still hold on to his grip!”

EMAII: “Pry his fingers loose! Bite him! Bite him in the ear!”

LH: “Mace has his hands on the scaffold! He’s forcing himself up and over even as Rasco pelts him with punches to the ribs! Mace is up! Mace is up! But he’s gasping from the exertion! He put too much pressure on those ribs of his! Now Rasco is pulling himself up, without the weight of Mace Richter on his back he’s able to recover!”

EMAII: “Now, while he’s hanging over the edge, kick him in the teeth!”

LH: “Rasco makes it back over! Both men back on the scaffold! Mace grabbing at Rasco’s foot, and he takes hold of that injured leg! Rasco topples forward, and now Richter is making a go for the belt! Wait!! Rasco with a back kick, hitting Mace in the gut! Mace staggers back, and now Rasco and Mace are fighting it out directly beneath the belt! Richter with a facelock! He’s got Rasco bent over, and he’s driving knees into his chest! Over and over again, punishing the champ’s sternum! Mace lets him go, and Rasco is gasping for air!”

EMAII: “Why would you stop!? Continue until his insides pour forth from his gullet like so much organ soup!”

LH: “Mace reaching up for the belt! He’s trying to pull it down! Rasco in desperation, flings himself at Mace! MACE CATCHES HIM! BOTH MEN DOWN – MACE ROLLS THROUGH – GUTBUST – NO!! Rasco kicking his legs violently!! Mace can’t hold on – RASCO REVERSES! RASCO EXPRESS! RASCO – NO! NO!! MACE TWISTS AROUND! REVERSE DDT!! REVERSE DDT! ONTO THE SCAFFOLD!! BUT MACE FALLS OFF!! MACE FALLS OF THE LEDGE!! NO!! WAIT! MACE CATCHES HIMSELF! MACE DANGLING WITH ONE HAND!!”

EMAII: “SOMEBODY JUST SHOOT ONE OF THEM!”

LH: “Rasco Raines is down!! But Mace is dangling from the edge of the scaffold!! Mace might not have enough strength left to pull himself up!! Mace is struggling to get his other arm up there or else fall twenty feet to the ring below! He’s too far to away to hit the water! He’s got to pull himself back up to the scaffold before Rasco recovers! He’s struggling with all he’s got to get that arm up there, but does he have enough left in the tank to pull himself up and over?”

EMAII: “BAH! If you are unable to perform a single one-handed pull-up over shark-infested waters, how did you ever make it out of high school?”

LH: “These waters aren’t shark-infested.”

EMAII: “THEN HE HAS EVEN LESS OF AN EXCUSE!”

LH: “Wait, wait! Mace . . .he’s doing it!! He’s managed to swing himself forward and . . he gets a leg up over the edge!! Now he’s grabbing on with both hands and hanging on with everything he has!! Mace Richter, desperately pulling himself up onto the scaffold! WAIT! RASCO IS UP! Rasco sits up!! He falls forward, and is crawling towards the title belt!! Mace is up! Mace is on the scaffold! Both men now grasping towards the belt!!”

EMAII: “Stomp on the back of his head, Mace! Tear his kidney out! Just shove him over the side and be done with it! DO NOT LET HIM GET THAT BELT!”

LH: “The One Man Show is on his feet! HE’S GOT THE BELT!”

EMAII: “SCREW YOU MACE!”

LH: “NO WAIT! MACE HAS IT!”

EMAII: “BAH!”

LH: “Both men reached the belt at the same time!! They’re both trying to pull it down! Neither man letting go! Rasco throws a kick at Mace! Mace responds in kind! Rasco . . Rasco pulls himself up onto the cable holding the belt! Rasco hanging from the belt, trying to undo the hook holding it up! But Mace is throwing punches up at him! Mace now, heaving himself up! These men are locked around the title belt! Face to face! Neither man is willing to let go!! They’re just hanging up there in the air! That cable is swinging back and forth, and these men are locked in combat on a thin cord hanging above the ring, swaying like the Pirate Ship at an amusement park!”

EMAII: “This situation makes me ponder something.”

LH: “What’s that?”

EMAII: “If that cable was designed to hold the weight of the Pete’s Wicked Ale Pay-Per-View Championship belt, an ornament which is comprised of roughly ten to twelve pounds of gold and leather, what are the odds it was also designed to hold the weight of two adult male wrestlers?”

LH: “Uh . . .”

*Ssss-n-NAP!*

EMAII: “Slim, pitiful Holland. The answer was slim.”

LH: “THE CABLE JUST SNAPPED! MY GOD! MY GOD! THE CABLE SNAPPED! CHAMP, CHALLENGER, AND BELT ALL GO DOWN!!”

*SPLOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSH!*

GIRL IN FRONT ROW WITH WHITE T-SHIRT: “AAAAAAHHH!!!”

LH: “INTO THE WATER! INTO THE WATER! THEY BOTH DISAPPEARED BENEATH THE WATER!”

EMAII: “NOW! Go forth, my piranha minions!”

LH: “Mace and Rasco have disappeared beneath the water’s surface, along with the title belt!! My God, what a high dive! This water’s only five feet deep! Wait! Wait! I can see them below the water! The lights aren’t bright enough in here, I can’t make out who is whom! They’re struggling . . . I can see them fighting even underwater!”

EMAII: “Fire, earth, and wind all failed to produce a corpse! Water, I bid thee, you must succeed!”

LH: “WAIT! A HAND JUST BURST TO THE SURFACE! IT’S GOT THE BELT! IT’S GOT THE BELT! SOMEONE HAS THE BELT! IT’S . . IT’S . . . .


*DingDingDing!*

PETE DUX: “THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH! . . . . . .
















Man of steel, you're so cold
Dirty Willy with your heart of gold

. . . AND STILL! PETE’S WICKED ALE PAY-PER-VIEW CHAMPIOOOONNNNNN . . . .”THE ONE! MAN! SHOW!! RRRRRRRAAASSCOOOOOO RRRRRRRRAAAAINNES!”

Man of steel, you're so cold
Dirty Willy turns lead into gold

LH: “Rasco does it! Rasco does it! Rasco dragging himself into the ring, gasping for air and clutching that belt! Rasco Raines is still the Pay-Per-View Champion!!”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU, CAPTAIN PLANET!”

LH: “Rasco Raines adds another win to the list! The Weapons Battle Royale! Dinner, Dancing, and Romancing! And now Captain Planet! Rasco Raines survives another Pay-Per-View as the champion! Mace Richter gave it all he had, and had that cable not given way we may very well have had a new champion here tonight. But luck was on the One Man Show’s side!”

EMAII: “BAH! I create my own luck! Using mostly voodoo. Occasionally some darker arts. It depends on how complicated I feel like making the ritual.”

LH: “Mace Richter clutching his ribs, and slapping the mat in frustration. He came as close as you can possibly get tonight, but Earth Day is Rasco’s Day! We need some time to get this scaffold out of here and drain the water by ringside, but fortunately there’s a break planned right here!”

EMAII: “Yes, and there shall be more than one break before this night is through. OF YOUR PATHETIC BONES!”

LH: “Who are you even shouting at right now?”

EMAII: “They know who they are!”

(The scene cuts to the back, where we find a camera crew following an irate Simon Pollinetti. Also in the shot are a team of crewmen, and with them is the familiar site of the thick iron bars of a steel cage. The segments of it are being carted past as Pollinetti argues with whom appears to be the foreman.)

POLLINETTI: “What are you doing? There’s no steel cage event on this card!”

FOREMAN: “Sir, we received orders today to have this ready for the main event.”

POLLINETTI: “But there is no – no, wait. Suess and Drayven requested that this be a steel cage match, but I never accepted! And now that Charm is out, what, we’re just supposed to watch the two of them in the cage with Blade by himself?”

FOREMAN: “Not what this says, Mr. Pollinetti.”

(The foreman holds out a sheet of paper, and the General Manager takes it from him, reading it quickly yet carefully. His eyes narrow as he slowly looks back up at the foreman.)

POLLINETTI: “Who are you working for. . . ?”

(The man smiles, slowly taking his work order back from Pollinetti as his lips curl.)

FOREMAN: “You don’t need to worry about that, sir. We’ll be out of your way soon.”

(The NEFW GM says nothing as the man folds up his work order and departs as the other sections of steel cage are carted past. There is a close up on Pollinetti’s face as he clenches his teeth. Suddenly, the sound of a small, but powerful, electric motor breaks the silence. Pollinetti turns to find Hugh Jass on his Rascal, slowly riding up as he spills over his seat on all sides. The basket has been replaced by a cooler, which seems to have full gallon tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream inside.)

HUGH JASS: “Boss, boss, phew. I finally caught up to you.”

POLLINETTI: “I’ve been standing still for the past five minutes.”

HUGH JASS: “I had to stop for an insulin break. But now I’m here. Boss, is it true that Suess’s demand for a cage match tonight has been met? And will Blade now face The Fallen alone?”

POLLINETTI: “The answer to both of those questions is “wait and see.””

HUGH JASS: “My twitter followers demand answers now!”

(Jass emphasizes his journalistic integrity by slamming his fist down, bringing back up with a scoop of caramel mocha. He swallows it by putting his whole fist into his mouth, and then starts licking his fingers.)

POLLINETTI: “Hugh, I’m dealing with the situation. It’s . . . part of a much larger situation I’m just becoming aware of.”

(Hugh starts to protest through a mouth full of Ben & Jerry’s, but Pollinetti raises a hand to cut him off.)

POLLINETTI: “How’s this for a scoop instead. (The General Manager leans down into the microphone Jass’s sausage-thick and sausage-coated fingers hold up to his mouth) Wait, what’s that smell?”

HUGH JASS: “Gravy.”

POLLINETTI: “Why does the microphone smell like gravy?”

HUGH JASS: “You going to make an announcement or not, boss?”

POLLINETTI: “I just . . . I don’t want to know. But yes, I do have an announcement. First, for The Fallen. You seem to have things pretty locked down as far as the main event is concerned. You’re getting the match you wanted and you’ve cut your opponents in half. But you don’t run this show. I do. Nothing has changed that, yet. So just be aware – this isn’t over yet. And I still have a few surprises up my sleeve.”

HUGH JASS: “What have you got planned, boss man?”

POLLINETTI: “You’ll find out, Hugh. You’ll find out tonight. There’s one more thing, though. Ah, there you are. Good timing.”

(The camera pans back and reveals “Smasher” John Harrison standing beside the General Manager. Smasher smiles wryly as he adjusts the straps around his shoulders – the NEFW Tag Team Titles.)

SMASHER: “Oof, Simon, these things are heavy. I’m happy to carry them around for you, but maybe you should find something else to do with them.”

POLLINETTI: “Why John, that’s a great idea. Do you have any suggestions?

(Smasher mocks going deep into thought, and then puts a finger up and leans in close to Simon, cartoonishly whispering in his ear. Pollinetti reacts in a similarly exaggerated fashion.)

POLLINETTI: “Eureka!”

SMASHER: “Gesundteit.”

POLLINETTI: “NEFW Faithful, we’re not going to keep you waiting long to see what we’re doing with these belts. As of right now, as General Manager of the NEFW, I am announcing the next North Eastern Federation of Wrestling Pay-Per-View. Coming up, on a date to-be-determined, every NEFW Tag Team past and present, as well as anyone on the roster who wants to team up, will be invited to be a part of NEFW: Tag Team Turmoil. Turmoil is going to be a tag team-themed event that will, in its main event, see the crowning of a brand new pair of NEFW Tag Team Champions.”

HUGH JASS: “Will it be a tournament? An elimination match? Some kind of crazy gimmick? What’s going to happen?”

POLLINETTI: “For that, you’re going to have to find out. For now, there’s still a show left to run tonight.”

SMASHER: “Take it easy, Hugh.”

(The General Manager and his friend depart, leaving Hugh staring contemplatively after them, Slowly, he raises an entire turkey leg to his mouth and bites into it, his gaze still following Pollinetti . . .)

(We return to ringside . . .)
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LH: “A Tag Team Pay-Per-View! Simon Pollinetti is going to crown new Tag Team champions at our next show! This is big news.”

EMAII: “I am more interested in what he believes he has planned for the main event. He is a fool if he desires to cross the Fallen! We have already seen that anything they desire shall come to pass.”

LH: “Indeed, two big announcements. We’re going to have new Tag Team champions, and our main event for the night suddenly became a cage match! They’re putting the structure together in front of us right now, even!”

EMAII: “This cage shall become a tomb for the Night’s Crusader!”

LH: “Well folks, our next match has some tragic – “

EMAII: “Hilarious.”

LH: “ – backstory to it. This is one match I never thought we’d see happen. The Crimson Christian, following the loss of his daughter, has challenged his friend and ally, Fighting Mad Jesus. Let’s take a look back at how all of this came to pass.”

(The scene slowly fades out. A haunting, stirring piano theme begins playing as we see a half-speed video of the Crimson Christian walking towards the ring, the Cross slung over his shoulder. A guitar joins in, and the tune becomes clear – “The Great Gig in the Sky” by Pink Floyd. We hear the voice of Lester Holland, as he called the action at One Night Only.)

LH: "This crowd is on their feet for the Crimson Christian! A two-time NEFW champion! He has feuded against Tommy McKnight! Raptor! Swift Nick! Blade! And now he is an NEFW legend in his own right!"

(The image shifts, and we see now the Crimson Christian, sitting in a state penitentiary, five years into a self-imposed exile from society. A nun sits across from him, as trembling words escape her lips.)

SISTER VICTORIA: “The…orphanage…there was an accident. A fire...We managed to get everyone out…but Mary…She managed to help some of the children escape but as she did…”

(Again, we see the Crimson Christian climbing into the ring, slowly turning to look out at the fans. His voice is heard over the tableau.)

CC: “The NEFW is a platform for me. It’s a means to an end.”

(The image changes to the Crimson Christian holding Doctor Melancholy’s artificial leg over him, having a crisis of faith as to whether or not to use it against the crippled man.)

CC: “What I fight for…”

(He almost chuckles before his next words.)

CC: “Are flowers…”

(Once again the image shifts, but this time we see the Crimson Christian in a hospital room. Mary Bencivenga is in a hospital gown and bed, appearing weary, the burns on her body still visible. The Crimson Christian has just come from his match against Mace Richter at By Popular Demand. His voice again is heard over the scene.)

CC: “Mary loves flowers . . . she always has.”

(Fighting Mad Jesus suddenly appears in the room, and the image darkens slightly.)

CC: “I’m sorry Mary but I have to go. I promise I’ll stop by again soon. Maybe then we can go and pick those flowers in the hospital garden.”

(We see but a single image of Mary, a close-up, as the Crimson Christian and Fighting Mad Jesus leave her room.)

MARY: “I’ll be waiting.”

(The scene changes again. This time it is a montage of scenes from the ring. Jesus battles against Joseph Masterson Vondikail. The Crimson Christian grapples with Mace Richter. Fighting Mad Jesus destroys the ring with Scourge. The Crimson Christian squares off against Doctor Melancholy.)

CC: "YOU! The nightmares, all the things I had done...it amounted to NOTHING in the end and the most important battles were left unfought."

FMJ: "Humanity has to be humanity. They must be allowed to run their course."

CC : "Why? There's nothing 'humane' about humanity!"

(We see now images of the two of them from even further back in the NEFW’s history. The Crimson Christian winning his first NEFW Championship. Fighting Mad Jesus taking on the likes of Shock Jock and the Senator. The Crimson Christian facing off against Tommy McKnight, Raptor, and Swift Nick.)

CC - "This is a lust for the END of bloodshed. I will do whatever it takes to make that dream a reality."

FMJ - "Hmph...for Mary..."

CC - "I will BE that terrifying storm to flood the earth. I will cleanse this world and bring change. I am the spear and I am the dagger-"

FMJ - "You're just a man. There is only so much you can do.”

(The image goes dark.)

CC: "I'm...a soldier...and I'm in a war...and in war...there are casualties...sacrifices. "

(The music suddenly stops, and we hear a painfully familiar call from 12 Beatings of Christmas . . .)

LH: “The ref bringing CC’s side of the strap over, and we’re going to – uh, wait a sec.”

EMAII: “What fresh confounding is this?”
LH: “The GM is telling the referee to stop, uh. . . is Smasher holding the Crimson Christian back?”

EMAII: “Someone explain to me what is transpiring and whether or not it is evil!”

(The scene changes to an empty hospital bed as we hear the words of the General Manager spoken that night.)

POLLINETTI: “Something’s happened. You need to get to the hospital. Now. Right now.”

(The music stops, and we see played out again the Crimson Christian’s tortured assault on the hospital staff as the camera cuts in and out trying to follow his maddened state.)

"SSCCRAZZondition worsenZZZSCRAZZ"

"-mergency surgerSCCRAZZCKk"

"SSCCRAZZomplicatioSCRAZZZK"

"-did all that we couZZRAC for heSSCRAZZ"

-"I'm sorrSCRRAAZZTZZK"

(There is a moment of silence, and then the music begins playing again. The Crimson Christian is addressing the fans at Love and War.)

CC - "I...Mary...I...oh my God, Mary. You're really gone. Everyone...I...I'm sorry..."

(His disdain for the crowd turns into a look of sadness. He falls to his knees. With tears in his eyes he speaks with a much more sullen and quiet tone. He fights his tears as he speaks.)

CC - "Why did you all have to do this? Why did you all have to pretend to care?! I hate you all for doing so. God, I miss her so much..."

(Scourge stands over a broken and battered Crimson Christian. The ruins of the Mary Bencivenga Memorial Tournament trophy hang from his monstrous grasp.)

SCOURGE: “Who cares about a stupid little dead girl, anyway?”

(The color instantly fades from the scene. With the mournful vocals of “The Great Gig in the Sky” playing over them, we see brief pieces, a split-second or so at a time, of the Crimson Christian’s brutal counter-attack on the Superbeast.)

CC: “Who cares?! WHO CARES? I CARE! SHE WAS MY DAUGHTER!”

(Scourge now lays on the ground, the Crimson Christian standing over his unconscious form, as his voice is heard over the scene again.)

CC: “When I first started in this business all those years ago: wrestling, helping, life, all of it, I felt ‘God’s Divine Messenger’ went from being a force for good to being just that, a messenger. One that many turned away from and ignored. When they ignored me, bad things happened. I blamed myself and then I realized…FINALLY I realized…it was never my fault…”

(Suddenly, there is a quick, almost imperceptible image of the Crimson Christian donning the mask of the Scourge.)

CC: “…IT WAS THEIRS!”

(The music has stopped again. The camera trails over the remains of the shattered Cross. It focuses in on the bloodstains still left on the floor at ringside. The only sound is the voices playing over the scene.)

FMJ: "What are you doing!? You're throwing it all away! You - "

(The Crimson Christian's fist rockets across the jaw of Jesus, and the five-hundred pound savior falls flat on his back. Security swarms over the Crimson Christian, forcing him away. He struggles at first, but then begins marching up the ramp, security urging him to calm down, some physically dragging him away, as his final shouts echo through the shocked arena. Jesus sits up, rubbing his jaw, disbelief etched on his face.)

CC: "YOU COULD HAVE SAVED HER!"

(There is a slow-motion image of the Crimson Christian, his face streaked in blood, security holding him back.)

CC: "THIS . . . THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

(Just like that, the scene changes again, and we find Fighting Mad Jesus being assaulted by a crowd now disbelieving he is who he claims to be. He is pelted first with fruit, and then with rocks.)

FMJ: "Please...help me..."

AGENT: "I...I do not know you sir."

(We now see Fighting Mad Jesus outside the Dateline studio, the angered crowd and paparazzi behind him, a badly damaged and barely repaired Cross at his side.)

FMJ: “...They...


...ARE NOT worthy to gaze upon my return and they...CERTAINLY...are not worth saving...Oh Father...

(The scene goes dark once more.)

FMJ: “…were we wrong all this time?"

(Lingering softly, and then fading out altogether, the last few strains of the Pink Floyd song die down, and the video package ends with a glimpse of the broken Cross . . .)

(We return to Lester Holland and Evil Masked Announcer II at ringside . . .)

EMAII: “Dark portents have led us to this day. Even I do not know what shall happen next.”

LH: “I never thought we’d see this come to pass, but here it is. The Crimson Christian will be going to face-to-face with Fighting Mad Jesus. The Religious Radicalz have dissolved to this.”

EMAII: “My joy at their pain and torment is tempered only by my frustration at not knowing what the consequences of this day shall be.”

LH: “Nothing good, I’m afraid. Nothing good.”

EMAII: “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better.”

PETE DUX: “Lllllllaaaaadies and gentlemen, the following match . . . is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first . . .

(The lights in the arena dim, and a series of floodlights begin twirling around the ramp momentarily, until, in one precise motion, they all focus in on the entrance area. The effect creates a halo of light around the passage.)

PETE DUX: “Weighing in at FIIIIVE hundred pounds! From the LITTLE TOWN of BETHLEHEM . . . “

It's all good
It's all right
Everybody gets laid tonight

PETE DUX: “FIIIIIIIIIGGHTIIIIING MAAAAAAAAAAAAD JEEEEEEEEEEESUUUS!”

He came from heaven, two stakes in his hand
To smote the vampires and free that land.
Come now and join him, all ye strong and bold
We'll fight together, like the days of old.

(The lights spin back out suddenly, violently, momentarily making the entire screen white. The after-image of the intense light fades, revealing a single enormous figure wrapped up in a residual halo. Fighting Mad Jesus scans the crowd with unreadable eyes, and then flexes each of his massive pecs individually before beginning his walk down to the ring.)

It's all good
It's all right
Everybody gets laid tonight

(The Cross is at his back, held together with little more than duct tape. Splinters of it fall besides Fighting Mad Jesus’s bare feet as the Hebrew Hulk makes his way to ringside. The former white sheen it once had is now a sad gray. Jesus takes the Cross from his back as he reaches the ring, staring at it sadly. He leans it up against the crowd barrier, heaving a great sigh.)

It's all good
It's all right
Everybody gets laid tonight

(As “Everybody Gets Laid Tonight” by the Hammerheads, from the cinematic classic “Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter” plays, Fighting Mad Jesus ascends the ring steps. With one step, he clears the top rope and enters the ring. In the center of the ring, he lowers his head, the lights dimming, and says a simple prayer. At its conclusion, he backs up into one corner, his eyes fixed on the top of the ramp.)

Behold his Glory, come praise the light
That has delivered us, from the endless night.
Come sound the trumpet, prepare the feast
And make the joyful shout, to he who slayed the beast.

LH: “Who can tell what must be going through the mind of Fighting Mad Jesus. His dearest friend, his closest companion, now challenging him and blaming him for the biggest tragedy of his life.”

EMAII: “And it was his fault! If he is indeed the Christian Redeemer, how could he have allowed his staunchest ally to suffer so? This man is as powerless and pathetic as I have always tried to tell people he is. Tonight a false idol to goodness shall fall, that evil may rise in its place!”

LH: “Whatever happens in this match, I’m sure we all know it’s going to have some repercussions for everybody involved.”

PETE DUX: “Aaaaand his opponent . . .”

LH: “Here we go!”

(The arena goes dark and silent, save for the tittering of fans throughout the arena. Camera flashes erupt, but they catch little but patches of darkness. After a long, pregnant pause, the NEFieTron comes to life, showing a swirl of mournful gray clouds moving over a drab, lifeless city. Every few seconds, a lightning strike pierces the sky, illuminating the scene a dull, blood-colored red.)

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

(“God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash begins its slow, rhythmic march as the clouds in the NEFieTron intensify. Gradually, the lights along the entrance ramp begin to come back on, only one by one they shift from white to the same crimson hue as the lightning.)

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

(Images flash on the NEFieTron, so quickly that they may not have been there at all, interrupting the steady procession of gray. The face of “Crimson” Christian Matthews. A gravestone with an angel atop it, its face wet with rain. An old, burned-out church. A prison. The broken cross. The face of Mary Bencivenga.)

Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news
My head's been wet with the midnight dew
I've been down on bended knee talkin' to the man from Galilee
He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John go do My will!"

(The red lights lining the entrance ramp begin pointing towards the top of the ramp. The house lights remain dark, leaving the uncomfortably red aura surrounding the ramp the only source of illumination to be found. The outline of Fighting Mad Jesus can barely be made out in the ring, his body framed with an eerie red aura. His eyes reflect the crimson light as his gaze remains fixed on the ramp.)

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

(The music slowly fades away, leaving the arena in silence once again. The lights remain, however, and an uncomfortable wave of doubt and questions begin making their way through the crowd in a wave for a long, awkward moment.)

(And then, a familiar guitar riff begins shredding through the arena . . .)

You make promise of protection
To a future after life
To the final resurrection
And to eternal paradise

(A burst of red lightning strikes the top of the entrance ramp, and a wall of flame suddenly bursts up around where it hit. A gasp of surprise and fear ripples through the crowd as the fire quickly spreads, but then it moves, seemingly of its own accord. The flames create a circle, and a figure emerges from the middle of the flames.)

But then I'm blinded with temptation
And to every mortal sin
Is it God that sits there waiting?
Or will the darkness suck me in

PETE DUX: “From SARATOGA SPRINGS, NEW YORK . . . .weighing in at TWO HUNDRED aaaand FFOOORRTY pounds . . .”

Let's wake up the dead
Oh yeah
It's better that never you know
More tears are shed
Oh yeah
I'm praying that you'll never know
That I'm facing hell

PETE DUX: “TTTHHHHE CRRRRIMMMSSOOOOOOOOOON CCCCCHHHHHHHRISTIAAAAAAAAN!!!”

(The camera moves to an overhead shot, where we see the flames forming the image of Celtic Cross inside the circle, with the Crimson Christian kneeling in the middle. Slowly, he lifts his head as “Facing Hell” by Ozzy Osbourne continues heralding his arrival. From the top of the ramp, he makes eye contact with Fighting Mad Jesus as the house lights begin slowly returning to normal.)

Oh the children sit and listen
The belief was in their eyes
In a land without tomorrows
Through the night you hear their cries
(In one dramatic motion, the Crimson Christian stands, his arms flying out to his sides. The flames die instantly, leaving only him at the top of the ramp. The lights return to normal, and through the lenses of a pair of red-tinted sunglasses, he stares at the enormous form of Fighting Mad Jesus. Neither man betrays any emotion. The crowd begins clamoring for one side or the other, some demanding Jesus put the Crimson Christian’s heresy to an end, others insisting that the false Jesus be destroyed here, tonight.)

But then your eyes just skip the pages
Of a book that never ends
Is it God that sits there waiting?
Do you hear the call again?

(Finally, the Crimson Christian begins walking towards the ring, his pace slow and measured. He never moves his eyes from Fighting Mad Jesus, even as he sheds his red trenchcoat on the entrance ramp and tosses his sunglasses aside. He is unshaven, bedraggled. His red hair is a tangled mess, and there is seemingly no light in his eyes. It is as if the soul has gone out of his body. Despite this, there is no doubting the intensity with which he stares down his former ally.)

LH: “For the first time in months, we are seeing the Crimson Christian! These fans are deeply divided! And who can blame them?”

EMAII: “You foolish mortal, you have let your grief get the better of you! Today you tear down a false idol! You should have come at your best! This vulture-picked bag of bones is the best you can offer?”

LH: “Christian Matthews does indeed look like he’s been through the ringer emotionally, and who can blame him? But look at his muscle tone, at the look in his eyes. He’s been preparing for this. He wants this fight! For good or for ill, the Crimson Christian is looking to defeat Jesus tonight!”

EMAII: “Do it, fool! Turn your back on the lies you have been fed for all these years!”

*DingDingDing!*

LH: "And here we are. These two men, former friends, former allies, driven apart by tragedy. It has come to this."
EMAII: "Crimson Christian, strike at your savior! He has failed you, as all false prophets will. Now embrace your darkness and destroy the liar before you!"
LH: "Fighting Mad Jesus with an imploring expression on his face. I think he wants to stop this before it starts. He's extending his arms. FMJ wants to avoid this fight if he can."
EMAII: "Pfah! Weakness! What clearer sign of failure do you need than not even being willing to fight?"
LH: "The Crimson Christian looking out towards the crowd. They're cheering this on! If there's reconciliation here, they want to see it. These two have been through so much, for so many years, no one wants to see it come to this!"

EMAII: "That is summarily untrue."

LH: "Jesus still with his arms outstretched, trying to - oh, and the Crimson Christian shoves him away. Jesus pushed back a step as the Christian stands his ground. Jesus looks perturbed at this, but he again extends his arms. But that just gets him another shove from CC! Jesus shaking his head, he doesn’t want this fight to happen. He’s again offering the Crimson Christian a chance to avoid this fight.”

EMAII: “He is insulting him! He belittles your rage and grief, Crimson Christian! Deny him and his faux pity! Cast him down!”

LH: “Christian shoving Jesus a third time! He’s shouting at FMJ to fight him, but Jesus is refusing. Jesus pleading with the Crimson Christian now to abandon this match, and – oh no! A slap right across the face of Jesus! The Crimson Christian slaps Jesus, and the Son of Man appears stunned! Look at the contempt and bitterness on the face of the Crimson Christian. He’s practically shaking with rage already! There’s another sla – no! Jesus blocks! And WOW! He just flattened the Crimson Christian with an enormous right hand!”

EMAII: “See how easily he turns to violence! This man is not who he claims to be!”

LH: “No, look! Jesus is extending a hand to the Crimson Christian. He was defending himself before, now he wants to help him back up.”

EMAII: “Defense is the worst kind of offense!”

LH: “Christian refusing any help, rising on his own. He’s holding his cheek, that punch from FMJ definitely took him by surprise, but he’s unfazed. Jesus extending a hand again, but here comes the Crimson Christian! Jesus counters him, and there’s a tie-up. Collar-and-elbow tie-up, these two jockeying for position, but Fighting Mad Jesus is just so strong, so dominant. The Crimson Christian fighting up with all his strength!”

EMAII: “Draw strength from your rage at the one who failed you! This is the reason your spawn died, Crimson Christian!”

LH: “Jesus isn’t responsible for saving everybody!”

EMAII: “Isn’t he, pitiful Holland?! Isn’t he?! And yet his closest companion loses his own daughter!”

LH: “Christian being pushed down to his knees! He’s resisting as much as he can, but he just can’t match the strength of Jesus, and now he’s down! Jesus over him, forcing him to his knees! No, wait, look! Monkey flip! Crimson Christian rolled back and used leverage there to flip Jesus over! Oh my! The ring just shook with the impact of all 500 pounds of Fighting Mad Jesus!”

EMAII: “This ring shook with justified fury at having this pretender Jesus anywhere inside of it!”

LH: “Crimson Christian not waiting for FMJ to rise! He’s leaped on top of him and now look at him go! The Crimson Christian hammering away at Jesus with rights and lefts to the face! Look at the anger in his eyes! He doesn’t want to wrestle Fighting Mad Jesus, he just wants to beat his head in!”

EMAII: “And a sweeter turn of events I could not have imagined!”

LH: “But the power of Jesus should never be underestimated! He just pushed the Crimson Christian off and into the air! CC lands hard on the mat, and now both men back up – oh, and a clothesline from FMJ!”

EMAII: “You were a fool to let up your offense, Crimson Christian! Try again, but this time with a hammer and nails, his one weakness!”

LH: “CC down on the mat, and – oh, hey! Fighting Mad Jesus with a punt to the ribs! Crimson Christian flipped over, gasping for air! Jesus not done yet, he’s dragging CC up – and puts him right back down with a short arm clothesline!”

EMAII: “The hulking biceps of this false savior cannot carry the weight of his lies!”

LH: “What aggression from Fighting Mad Jesus towards his former disciple! FMJ whips CC into the ropes, and – my God, look at the power! A press slam! Gorilla press – and he drops Crimson Christian like a sack of potatoes right into the middle of the ring.”

EMAII: “Bah! A single display of strength shall not deter the Crimson Christian from his mission! Destroy Jesus, Christian!”

LH: “Look, after that last display, FMJ is trying to help the Crimson Christian up! He’s offering him his hand. He still doesn’t want to have this fight!”

EMAII: “Feh! Your former disciple has seen through your lies, your attempts at reconciliation are to no avail!”

LH: “Jesus really wants CC to take his hand and forget this – ah, no! Crimson Christian swings up and punches him across the jaw! CC rolling away, Jesus taken by surprise! Christian running quickly into the ropes – and he hits a flying clothesline!! But it doesn’t take Jesus down . . . but that DDT does! Crimson Christian nails a DDT, and now back into the ropes – and he drops the leg on Fighting Mad Jesus!”

EMAII: “Yes! YES! Decimate him! Destroy him one broken bone at a time, until naught but a wretched heap remains! Leave him with what he has left you, Crimson Christian, nothing! Nothing!”

LH: “Crimson Christian furiously stomping away at Fighting Mad Jesus! Boots to the back of his head and neck! There’s a kick to the ribs as payback for earlier – and now he drops down and starts punching him again! Barely even punching, he’s just flailing! What rage he has! What resentment! He wants nothing more than to take all of his pain out on Fighting Mad Jesus!”

EMAII: “And who better to receive it? Yes, Crimson Christian, this man is the cause of all your ills! And now – exact your revenge!”

LH: “Again, Jesus overpowering this blitzkrieg, and he hurls the Crimson Christian off! Jesus stands, CC is running to the ropes – Lou Thesz Press – NO! Jesus catches him – release overhead suplex – AND CHRISTIAN GOES OUT OVER THE TOP ROPE!”

EMAII: “BAH!”

LH: “What a throw by Fighting Mad Jesus! That suplex hurled the Crimson Christian all the way over the top and to the floor! My God! My God! Crimson Christian unmoving on the outside! Fighting Mad Jesus . . .standing back against the ring post! He’s not following after him. He doesn’t want this fight to continue!”

EMAII: “Defeating the Crimson Christian by count out would just be another slap in his face!”

LH: “Crimson Christian’s anger driving him like a freight train, and he’s already scraping himself off the floor. The ref has barely started his count, and CC’s got a hand on the apron, pulling himself back up. He’s back on his feet, and now he slides into the ring! Fighting Mad Jesus might be fine with a count out, but the Crimson Christian isn’t going to let this be decided so easily!”

EMAII: “Yes, yes! Let your hatred spur you onwards! Destroy, Crimson Christian! Destroy, and be consumed by darkness!”

LH: “No, wait! Jesus suddenly launches forward! He’s dragging CC back into the ring – and a snapmare takeover! Into a sleeper hold!”

EMAII: “BAH! He seeks to end this humanely!? This is an affront! Either be destroyed and be proven false, or destroy him so that we might all see what a false prophet you really are!”

LH: “FMJ cinching in that sleeper hold, trying to put the Crimson Christian down! He doesn’t want this fight! He doesn’t want this violence! He just wants this to be over with! Christian struggling to try and find some leverage, but Jesus really has it locked in! Jesus tightening up, trying to block CC’s air flow and put him to sleep – oh, but Christian says it’s not nap time! He’s firing off elbows into the ribs of FMJ! CC trying to fight his way up to a standing position, one elbow at a time! FMJ trying to keep the sleeper hold locked in, he’s not giving up on putting CC down – but he can’t hold up against those elbows! Crimson Christian breaks the hold! Jesus clutching his ribs – and CC immediately turns and starts delivering some knife-edge chops!”

EMAII: “Hack away at his oversized torso! Grind his flesh down to bloody chunks, one palm strike at a time!”

LH: “There’s another knife edge chop by the Crimson Christian! And another! He measures Jesus up . . . and delivers a third! He’s going to draw blood if he continues this – oh, and he won’t! FMJ cuts him off with a huge overhand slap! That chop stopped Christian’s assault, and now Jesus with the Irish whip! CC off the ropes – ducks the clothesline – INTO A DDT! JUMP SPINNING DDT! What agility! What speed! Crimson Christian may be driven by rage, but this 2-time NEFW Champion still has the ring presence to take advantage of an opening when it presents itself!”

EMAII: “Then attack the holes in his palms!”

LH: “That was a cheap joke.”

EMAII: “Just like your mother, pitiful Holland! Continue calling this match so that I might resume my angered ranting!”

LH: “Well that was refreshingly direct. Crimson Christian has Jesus down, and he’s going to the top rope! Crimson Christian has it measured, and this crowd is getting behind him! CC takes the dive for a top rope leg dro – FMJ SPRINGS UP! HE SNATCHES HIM OUT OF THE AIR! FMJ plants him on the mat – twisting – PUMP HANDLE SLAM! AND FMJ GOES INTO A COVER!



ONE!























TWO!!!







































LH: “No! A kickout at two and a half! Explosive kickout! Crimson Christian caught by surprise, but he’s not quitting yet!”

EMAII: “And he should not, not until Fighting Mad Jesus’s broken body stains the ring as dark as the stains on the Crimson Christian’s soul!”

LH: “FMJ not giving him a moment’s rest here, whipping him into the turnbuckle. FMJ close behind as CC gets sent hard into that turnbuckle, and now FMJ on the second rope over him! Oh! A punch to the Crimson Christian! And another! He’s driving those fists into him again and again! PUNCHES PILATE! Crimson Christian staggers out of the corner – and Jesus shoves him down to the mat! And there’s another kick to his ribs! What uncharacteristic aggression by FMJ! He’s got to be frustrated right now, he’s been trying since the start to end this match but the Crimson Christian won’t let him! He just keeps coming!”

EMAII: “And he will continue to hound you, Jesus, as all of your failures ultimately do! Behold, the Crimson Christian is all of your failure incarnate, here to swallow you up so that the world may forget you for all time!”

LH: “You seem to be toeing the line between this being and not being the real Jesus.”

EMAII: “You don’t know that. He might be a fake Jesus and still have all kinds of failures you don’t know about. Do not criticize my announcing!”

LH: “FMJ not letting CC catch his breath, even though he could easily be spitting blood at this point. He’s dragging him to his feet – and he wraps that huge hand around his throat!! Could this be – CHOKESLAM! Crimson Christian never even had a chance to stop it!! AND JESUS INTO A COVER AGAIN!



ONE!!





























TTTWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOO!!




























TH – NO! Shoulder up by the Crimson Christian!

EMAII: “That was frustratingly close! When Fighting Mad Jesus is but a smoldering, flailing wreck of a being, then, Crimson Christian, then you are allowed to die.”

LH: “Jesus getting frustrated here, we can see it on his face as he looks over the Crimson Christian. He’s got to be wondering how far he has to go to end this without hurting his friend. He doesn’t want to be in there! He just wants to make up with the Crimson Christian, but Christian isn’t hearing any of it! FMJ dragging CC up again after that pinfall attempt – and he whips him back into the corner – and follows up with a running clothesline!”

EMAII: “BAH! Do not lose sight of the emotional anguish driving you simply because you are now in physical anguish as well!”

LH: “Jesus sending CC across the ring with another whip – and another clothesline greets him at the ringpost! CC stumbling out of that corner, and right into Jesus! NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!”

EMAII: “WHAT DID I JUST SAY?”

LH: “The Crimson Christian has been firmly planted on the mat by Fighting Mad Jesus! This match has been almost all Jesus so far! Crimson Christian is down, and he’s not moving after the beating he just took at the hands of FMJ . . .but Jesus isn’t capitalizing! No, he’s moving away!”

EMAII: “He will not even show you the respect of ending it, Crimson Christian! He spits in the face of your desire for vengeance!”

LH: “Jesus . . . holding out his arms! He is unmoving in the middle of the ring, watching CC arise! Look! He still wants to try and end this peacefully!”

EMAII: “That is the way of weakness! He is admitting to his own inability to accept the Crimson Christian’s feelings and do battle like a man! Do not accept his way, Crimson Christian! It is the way of the coward! Embrace the darkness, embrace the hate!”

LH: “Crimson Christian slowly rising to his feet. He sees Fighting Mad Jesus, imploring him to end this conflict. CC gathering himself, looking out into the crowd, now back to FMJ. He’s doing some soul searching. What is going through his mind?”

EMAII: “My fist if he does not obliterate Jesus here!”

LH: “The Crimson Christian takes a hesitant step towards FMJ, who remains holding his arms out. Do it, Crimson Christian! Let go of the anger! Let people help you!”

EMAII: “Silence! Your laughable words of solace will do nothing! Only violence can alleviate his pain!”

LH: “Christian stepping in, he’s – OH! He punches Jesus again! Punch to the face of Jesus – and Jesus immediately retaliates! Knee to the gut of the Crimson Christian . . . and now he’s flipping him up! And over!! He’s got Christian up in the crucifix position – AIR APOSTLE! CRIMSON CHRISTIAN GROUND INTO THE MAT! AND JESUS HOOKS THE LEG, ANOTHER COVER!


ONE!!

















































TTTWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

































































TTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHREEEEEEEEHEKICKEDOUT!”

EMAII: “Yes! As I suspected, his fury has brought him to the next level! He is like a rabid dog, and Jesus must either put him down or let himself be devoured!”

LH: “Fighting Mad Jesus growing angrier now, begging Crimson Christian to just stay down! He’s dragging him up by the back of the head, and he heaves him right up – and back down again! Backbreaker! Right across the knee! The frightening power of Fighting Mad Jesus, is it just too much for the Crimson Christian?”

EMAII: “His power is a lie! Everything about him is false! Tear this pretender down!”

LH: “Jesus now, again pausing! He’s waiting on the Crimson Christian, who might even be unable to answer the ten-count at this point. FMJ has tried everything except laying down and letting CC pin him, but I don’t think the Crimson One would even allow that! He wants blood! He wants a fight! He’s like a furnace fueled by anger and he’s going to keep going until it burns out!”

EMAII: “Once the coals of that particular furnace have been stoked, pitiful Holland, there is no running out. Rage consumes, that is its nature! Win or lose, mark my words – the Crimson Christian shall never be the same!”

LH: “Crimson Christian rising to his feet, wavering as he pushes himself up. Jesus . . . once again opening his arms! He’s trying to call the Crimson Christian over to him! Jesus wants nothing more than to reconcile with his Red Knight! Please, Christian, let him help you! Crimson Christian staring at him . . .that look communicating so much. So much anger and rage, but look at the grief behind it all! You can see he doesn’t know what to do here. Go to Jesus, Christian! He’s there for you!”

EMAII: “SILENCE! Can you not see that his passion for death and blood still burns?!”

LH: “No, look! The Crimson Christian is walking towards Jesus! He’s holding his arms out and nodding! I think this is – WAIT! CHRISTIAN RUSHING IN! WHAT IS HE – “

EMAII: “GLORIOUS!”

LH: “OH MY! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! BELLY-TO-BELLY! BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX ON THE FIVE-HUNDRED POUND FIGHTING MAD JESUS! Where did that strength come from!? What has possessed the Crimson Christian?! He took advantage of Jesus’s offer to reconcile and somehow hefted all 500 pounds up and slammed it down again!! A herculean belly-to-belly by the Crimson Christian, and Jesus is stunned!”

EMAII: “NOW IS YOUR CHANCE! Listen to this crowd of plebs! They demand blood and they demand it NOW!”

LH: “This crowd indeed on their feet after that suplex! Christian running to the ropes – and he hits a leg drop!! FMJ rolling away, scrambling back to his feet – but he meets a standing dropkick by the Crimson Christian! Christian is all fired up now! Crimson Christian with a clothesline now, Jesus blocks it, and now he sends Christian into the ropes with a whip – Crimson ducks the clothesline, rolling underneath FMJ! FMJ spins around – uppercut to the face by CC! Shades of Goldust!”

EMAII: “Are we allowed to cite that? Not that I am constrained by pathetic mortal copyrights!”

LH: “The Crimson Christian is back on his feet! Jesus off-balance from that punch, and CC – SHINING WIZARD! SHINING WIZARD TO FIGHTING MAD JESUS!”

EMAII: “The most shining of all wizard-related offense!”

LH: “Jesus is down! Jesus is down! The Crimson Christian nailed that Shining Wizard! Now he’s setting up FMJ – he’s got him stunned! He’s never going to have a better chance than this! Can he . . . yes! He does! CHRISTIAN CLOVERLEAF! He’s got it! He’s got all of it!”

EMAII: “BWAHAHAHAHA! YES! Force Jesus to submit! What better way to prove his weakness?!”

LH: “The Crimson Christian has Jesus in the Christian Cloverleaf! Those tree-trunk legs of FMJ are trapped as CC bends back his spine! Jesus trying to power out! The Crimson One not having it! Look at his muscles straining as he pulls back on Fighting Mad Jesus’s legs! He’s giving this everything he has! He wants Jesus to tap out!”

EMAII: “Do it! If he won’t tap out to this, you can borrow my scourge and nails! They worked last time!”

LH: “Jesus shaking his head no as the ref checks on him! He doesn’t want to quit, but the Crimson Christian giving him nowhere to go! Jesus has no leverage from this position to use his incredible strength! He’s . . .he’s lifting his hand! FMJ shaking his head no, but the Crimson Christian leaning back with all his might!”

EMAII: “Behold! If Jesus were truly the caliber of friend he claims to be, he would submit here and allow the Crimson Christian his victory!”

LH: “No, he won’t give up! And he won’t give up FOR the Crimson Christian! He’ll know if he throws this match! Look at him and you can tell! Jesus knows it, too! He wants this match, he NEEDS this match! He’s not going to give any less than everything, and Jesus won’t insult his friend’s pain by giving him any less!”

EMAII: “BAH! There is no friendship here! This is combat! This is to the death! There are no friends inside the ring, only a winner and a loser, much like at an announce table!”

LH: “Jesus lowering his hand, but he’s telling the referee no! He’s not giving up! He’s . . . he’s starting to push . . . he’s trying to gain some leverage! He’s practically bent in half by this Christian Cloverleaf, but he’s still trying to get some purchase to push himself up! FMJ has himself up, just barely up off the mat! Is it enough to . . . .yes! He’s starting to crawl forward! He’s pulling himself towards the ropes! CC isn’t letting go, he’s trying to bend his legs back even further, put even more pressure on that neck and spine!”

EMAII: “Tap out! Or do not, and allow him to sever the weak nerves sending impulses to your feeble brain!”

LH: “FMJ scraping forward one inch at a time, pulling himself onwards by his fingernails! He’s trying to stretch his arm out towards that rope, but CC is keeping him from extending his full reach! He’s still inches away from the bottom rope, but he’s not giving up! He’s crawling forward, and CC knows if he reaches that bottom rope his chances for winning this match decrease dramatically! It all may hinge on this submission!”

EMAII: “Give up! Reveal to the world how ineffectual all your power truly is!”

LH: “He’s going to make it! He’s reaching his arm out, straining forward – NO! LOOK AT THAT! ONE STEP AT A TIME, THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN IS DRAGGING HIM BACK! AMAZING! WHERE DOES HE FIND THE STRENGTH!?”

EMAII: “From hatred! From rage! The sources of true strength, and from the growing blackness festering in his soul, crying out for him to destroy the Son of Man! He abandoned you, Crimson Christian! Now sever all ties to your previous life!”

LH: “Why are you so intent on the Crimson Christian becoming evil?”

EMAII: “There’s a fairly hefty recruitment bonus.”

LH: “The Crimson Christian pulling Jesus back into the center of the ring! Jesus’s hopes for being freed are vanishing! The Christian Cloverleaf is locked in and not going anywhere! The Crimson Christian is driving the resistance out of FMJ! What amazing effort! The resolve of the Crimson Christian to continue this match is unreal! Jesus has nowhere to go! He’s got to tap out!”

EMAII: “Yes! YES! So long I have waited for this moment, and all the sweeter that it is at the hands of his closest friend!”

LH: “He’s raising his hand up!! The ref is asking him if he’s going to quit! Crimson Christian is bearing down! He could break FMJ’s neck with this much pressure! WAIT! WAIT! FMJ is trying to power his way back up again!! He’s clawing for some ground to gain leverage on! FMJ pushing himself up, fighting against the Crimson Christian’s grip! If he breaks this hold, what will CC have left? He’s used all his strength to keep this locked in as long as he has!”

EMAII: “If this is as much power as his rage can afford him, then he has not yet truly sunk to the depths of hatred he needs to survive. I feel no pity for him if this is indeed the case! Nor would I under normal circumstances, but I felt the need to specifically point it out here.”

LH: “So noted. FMJ is pushing up, but pushing against the Cloverleaf just makes it hurt even more! FMJ risking personal injury here! AND LOOK! He’s got enough leverage to . . . he’s pushing his legs out!! Can he do it?! Can he do it?!”

EMAII: “Please, seven hells, don’t let him do it!”

LH: “HE PUSHES HIS LEGS OUT! CHRISTIAN’S GRIP IS BROKEN! FMJ FLOPS TO THE MAT IN PAIN, BUT HE BROKE THE HOLD! HE’S OUT!”

EMAII: “Seven hells, I trusted you!!”

LH: “FMJ is still on the mat, gasping for air! CC on his hands and knees, trying to find the strength to support himself! He might have given everything he had to keeping that hold locked in! His muscles are exhausted! He’s running on fumes, he’s gotta be!”

EMAII: “No! I can taste the vitriol of contempt he holds for this false deity! He will keep going, however long it takes, until his feeble mortal body gives out! This is far from over!”

LH: “CC pulling himself up by the ropes, and FMJ is trying to rise as well. Both men showing signs of fatigue now, but Christian absolutely more worn out than FMJ, and by a wide margin. His only hope is that the Cloverleaf did some lasting damage! FMJ starting to r – WAIT! WAIT! CC RUSHES IN – REVERSE DDT! HE JUST DROPPED JESUS! IS HE – IT’S A COVER! A COVER! THE REF SLIDES IN!



ONE!!
























































TTTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!














































































THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-NO! KICKOUT! KICKOUT! JESUS KICKS OUT!”

EMAII: “WHY MUST YOU TAUNT ME SO?!”

LH: “That’s not all! Look!! Jesus just popped up! He’s shaking his head no! We know what’s coming! He’s finally had enough!! Crimson Christian lays in a hard right hand, but it just brings FMJ up to his knees! There’s another one!! Jesus didn’t even feel it! He’s feeling it!! Fighting Mad Jesus is Christing up!”

EMAII: “Do not let him reach his full power! BAH! I will not watch this affront!”

LH: “Jesus stands up, but CC lays in another hard right hand – FMJ shakes it off! He’s stomping around the ring! Christian not waiting around for this to happen! He rushes in, there’s another big right – no! Jesus blocks it! He’s got that right arm hooked! CC tries the left – blocked again!! Jesus has both arms locked – and there’s a headbutt! A huge headbutt! The Christian is stunned, and Jesus whips him into the ropes – BIG BOOT!”

EMAII: “You see? Most see one set of footprints and think it was because he was carrying them. No! It was because he was busy kicking his best friend in the face!”

LH: “I don’t get it, aren’t you usually totally in favor of people turning on their friends and allies and inflicting terrible pain upon them?”

EMAII: “Of course! But do you honestly foretell any scenario in which I would support any action taken by Jesus?”

LH: “That is an excellent point.”

EMAII: “Much like everything I own with a point on it!”

LH: “FMJ grabbing CC’s hand and yanking him up – and he sends him into the ropes – NO! HE FOLLOWS AFTER HIM! CLOTHESLINE FROM HEAVEN! RIGHT OVER THE TOP! CLOTHESLINE FROM HEAVEN OVER THE TOP! CRIMSON CHRISTIAN TURNED INSIDE OUT AND SENT TO THE OUTSIDE! My God, the smack as he hit the floor! He crumpled up like a rag doll! I think Jesus may finally have taken the fight out of him!”

EMAII: “BAH! I believe you are right. In the end, your pain was not enough, Crimson Christian! You were simply not strong enough to accomplish this task!”

LH: “Fighting Mad Jesus stepping out over the top rope, and he follows CC to the outside. Christian is already trying to stand, but he can’t get back to his feet! He’s got nothing left to give! OH! And an uppercut from Jesus sends him reeling down the ring apron! Jesus stalking after him, and there’s another big forearm chop! And now he sends him spine-first into the crowd barrier! Fighting Mad Jesus pounding the resistance out of the Crimson Christian! He is implacable! He’s reached down and found new strength! He’s going to beat CC down and drag him back! Jesus cannot be stopped!”

EMAII: “Looking back on it, he has been the justification of a few of my favorite tragedies.”

LH: “FMJ with CC by the arm near the entrance ramp . . .and he whips him . . .right into the Cross! CC whipped into the Cross!”

EMAII: “Oh, not HIM, too.”

LH: “Crimson Christian sliding down slowly, gasping for air . . . he’s now twisting around to see the Cross. CC shaking his head, like this is something he doesn’t want to see! The Crimson One appears deeply disturbed by the presence of the Cross. What could be going through his head?”

EMAII: “Perhaps all the years he carried it on his back only to have it fail him as well?”

LH: “CC just staring up at the Cross, on his knees now, and Fighting Mad Jesus is approaching him slowly. Christian shaking his head as he stares at the Cross. Whatever it’s saying, he doesn’t want to hear it.”

EMAII: “He is finally free from its deceptions. It steered you down the path that killed your daughter! It does not deserve your attention!”

LH: “Crimson Christian rising, and he sees FMJ behind him now. FMJ extending his hand. He’s begging him, look! Please, Christian, he’s saying, please let’s end this! This crowd is on their feet! Take his hand, Christian! Take it!”

EMAII: “Only if you do so with the intent of tearing his arm out of the socket so that you may beat him with it!”

LH: “Crimson Christian looks so battered, so beaten! His body is starting to look as ragged as his mind! He’s endured such a beating here, but he keeps coming back for more. Has he worked through his demons? Is he finally ready to reconcile?!”

EMAII: “BAH! What makes these people believe Jesus will so easily forgive the Crimson Christian for his blasphemy?”

LH: “The fact that the Bible is widely available to everybody who wants it?”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU, JOHANNES GUTENBERG!”

LH: “Crimson Christian pulling himself up using the Cross. Jesus is right there with him, still with his hand outstretched. He’s looking back and forth from FMJ to the Cross, and now he’s got his hands on his head, trying to figure out what the right thing to do is! Look, he’s got his hands on the Cross now, and it looks like he’s really examining it! Can he hear what it’s telling him? Is he ready to end this? Come on, Christian! Come – “

EMAII: “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

LH: “NO! HE SUDDENLY HURLS THE CROSS INTO FIGHTING MAD JESUS! JESUS QUICKLY CATCHES – SPEAR! SPEAR – SPAZZZZttttZtt—

-KczzzZZZchttt-

EMAII: “Wond—zzz-hahaha—Zztttkkchc-“

LH: “WHAT IN—ZzzTttcckkTT-“

-ZZzzkkccchkktttttttkkKCh!KCH!!-

LH: “-zztcckhk-BROKE IN HALF AGAIN! THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN SPEARED THE CROSS RIGHT INTO FMJ! SOME SORT OF WAVE JUST SHORTED OUT OUR EQUIPMENT! WHAT HAPPENED?! THE CROSS IS BROKEN AGAIN! SHARDS OF IT FLYING EVERYWHERE! Christian’s spear just left the Cross in ruins and FMJ on the floor!”

EMAII: “Behold! The power of the Cross has been broken! The Crimson Christian is free from its spell! This is the end of the Religious Radicalz, and Fighting Mad Jesus! FINALLY! FINALLY!”

LH: “The Crimson Christian heaves himself up, leaving FMJ gasping on the ground! The referee looks like he was stunned by whatever happened when the Cross broke! If that was a disqualification, he never saw it! I’m not sure WHAT it was, myself! The ref looks like he doesn’t even know what’s going on, so he’s starting a count! No, look, Christian rolling into the ring, and now back out again!”

EMAII: “Yes! Yes! Continue this torture! Now that Jesus is down, take advantage and – “

FIGHTING MAD JESUS: “rrrrrrrRRRRRRRAAAAAHHH!!!! JESUS MAD!”

EMAII: “Oh.”

LH: “JESUS HEAVES THE CROSS ASIDE! HE IS SEEING RED! JESUS CHARGING LIKE A BULL – CLOTHESLINE FROM HEAVEN TO THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN! He never had time to defend himself! Jesus shot up and at him like a monster possessed! The Crimson Christian down, but wait! Jesus heaving him up with one arm! Jesus turning – OH NO! NO! RUNNING POWERSLAM! RUNNING POWERSLAM RIGHT ONTO OUR STEEL RAMP!”

EMAII: “CURSE YOUR FLIMSY SPINE, CRIMSON CHRISTIAN!”

LH: “His back, his spine, his neck, they might have been snapped in half by that powerslam! Jesus looking down at what he’s done, and now he’s walking away! Jesus realizing he’s gone too far, stepping away to cool off! He doesn’t want to hurt the Crimson Christian! He just wants this to be over! He wants to help his friend!”

EMAII: “Does that look like help to you? Pfah! What are you doing over here! Stay away, lest I summon the demons I keep trapped within my mask to smite thee!”

LH: “Jesus is indeed coming over our way, and helping himself to some of the water we’ve got here. He’s taking a breather, trying to bottle his rage! The Cross has been shattered! His every attempt at curbing this violence rebuked! Jesus is overcome with anger, you can see it, but he’s trying to overcome! Come on, Jesus, don’t give up!”

EMAII: “The Crimson Christian has abandoned you, as all ultimately will! Leave, and live in your shame!”

LH: “The Crimson Christian is back on his feet! Look! Look! He’s snapped up! He’s sitting up!! He must have moved beyond pain, beyond feeling! He’s moving on pure adrenaline now! But how long will his body hold out?! LOOK! He’s grabbing a piece of the Cross that was left at ringside! The Crimson Christian now charging this way like a wounded bull! He’s headed straight for Fighting Mad Jesus, still drinking some water right in front of us!”

EMAII: “The fool hasn’t noticed him yet! Stab him! Stab him in the throat!”

LH: “CHRISTIAN WITH THAT SHARD OFF THE CROSS – NO!! JESUS DUCKS JUST IN TIME! The Crimson Christian spins arou – WHAT?!”

EMAII: “HOW?!”

LH: “RED MIST! RED MIST! JESUS JUST SPRAYED CHRISTIAN WITH A RED MI – THE WATER! HE TURNED IT INTO WINE! JESUS WITH A MIRACLE MIST JUST BLINDED THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN! HE’S WRITHING RIGHT IN FRONT OF – NOW JESUS PICKS HIM UP! MY GOD! PRESS SLAM! PRESS SLAM OVER THE TOP ROPE! JESUS JUST HURLED CC BACK INTO THE RING LIKE HE WAS NOTHING!”

EMAII: “I would never have suspected Jesus capable of such trickery! He has truly set out to humiliate his so-called “friend,” and for what reason? Only daring to speak the truth about his heartless abandonment!”

LH: “Jesus climbing over the top rope! Christian was just flung like a rag doll over the top! Jesus plants a foot on Christian’s chest! It’s a cover! A cover! The ref slides in!!


ONE!!





















































TTTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!












































TH – NO WAIT! SHOULDER UP! EMPHATIC SHOULDER UP! THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN ISN’T DONE YET!”

EMAII: “Dig deep into your reserves of hate, unearth all the might you can muster! End forever the blight upon the world of evil that is Jesus! Rise, Crimson Christian! RISE!”

LH: “Fighting Mad Jesus waiting, not making a move! He’s watching as CC does indeed pull himself to his feet! The anger is gone from his eyes, Jesus is back to normal! He’s not pressing the attack as CC stumbles upwards! The punishment he’s suffered today, I almost have to admire his tenacity! There’s not an ounce of quit anywhere in the Crimson Christian’s body!”

EMAII: “I will see to it that there isn’t an ounce of blood in it either if he fails to put Jesus down today!”

LH: “Jesus standing and watching as CC makes it to his feet! Crimson Christian wiping his chin, by God, I think he’s bleeding internally! Blood is dribbling from his mouth, but he’s still got his eyes set on Jesus! CHRISTIAN CHARGES! NO! FMJ throws his weight forward and simply shoves him down!”

EMAII: “Do not let damnable physics stand in your way! Get up!”

LH: “Crimson Christian indeed already back up! Where is he getting this stamina from!? He charges again!! FMJ SIDESTEPS! CC goes rushing past, and Jesus shoves him down again with a shove to his back! CC rolling head over heels forward! Once again he’s down on the mat! But look!! He’s got his hands on the ropes, and he’s already pulling himself up! CC dragging himself to his feet, and he charges with a desperate cry! HE COULD – NO! FMJ stops him with a single hand, and now delivers a huge overhand chop with the other! CC back down a whole lot faster than he got up!”

EMAII: “No, behold! He already rises! He still has murder in his heart!”
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LH: “CC charges again – rearing back, there’s a punch to Jesu – no!! Jesus blocks it – OH! OH! CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! AND RIGHT INTO A COVER! JESUS WITH THE COVER! THE LEG IS HOOKED!



ONE!!!




























































TTWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!











































THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEGOTASHOULDERUP!

LH: “I DON’T BELIEVE IT! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! CC WILL NOT GO DOWN!”

EMAII: “He is powered by demons you could not possibly comprehend! They will feast upon his soul even as they give strength to his limbs! He is driven by destruction! He will not – CANNOT stop!”

LH: “LOOK! CHRISTIAN HOWLING LIKE A MAD MAN! He suddenly pounces on Jesus! WHERE DID HE FIND THE STRENGTH!? PUNCHES AND KICKS, HAMMERING AT FIGHTING MAD JESUS! He’s assailing those ribs like a 500-pound punching bag! Christian screaming incoherently as he wails on Fighting Mad Jesus! Unbelievable! Unbelievable! No! Jesus with a headbutt – BUT CHRISTIAN KEEPS ON ATTACKING! LIKE HE DIDN’T EVEN FEEL IT! JESUS STAGGERED! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”

EMAII: “What’s happening is that the Crimson Christian has finally accessed the true power of hatred! NOTHING CAN STOP HIM NOW! PUNCH THROUGH HIS CHEST AND TEAR OUT HIS PATHETIC HEART!”

LH: “No! No!! Don’t give in to the darkness, Christian!”

EMAII: “FEAST UPON IT EVEN AS HE WATCHES!!”

LH: “Christian grabs Jesus by the head – AND RAMS A KNEE INTO HIS CHIN! Jesus faltering – no! He’s gotten his bearings back already, and there’s a CLOTHESLINE FROM HEA – CC DUCKS! But Jesus swings back out immediately with a kick – CHRISTIAN CATCHES IT! DRAGON SCREW! DRAGON SCREW! JESUS IS DOWN!”

EMAII: “YES! YEESSSSS!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

LH: “Christian has Fighting Mad Jesus down! He can’t possibly do the Preaching Piledriv – wait, no! He’s going up top! I think he’s . . . yes!! Christian signaling for the Highway to Heaven! If he hits this it could all be over!! HE’S IN THE AIR! HE’S GOT IT! HE – WAIT! WAIT! JESUS SPRINGS UP! MY GOD! MY GOD! JESUS CATCHES CHRISTIAN IN MID-AIR! ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP! THE SPEED! THE POWER! CHRISTIAN’S FACE JUST LEFT AN INDENT IN THE RING! AND NOW A COVER!! IT’S OVER!



ONE!!






































TTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


































































THREEEEEEEEEEKICKOUT! WHAT?! WHAT?! HOW!? A KICKOUT! A KICKOUT!”

EMAII: “KEEP GOING, CRIMSON CHRISTIAN!”

LH: “NO! Jesus is dragging him up!! RIGHT INTO A POWERBOMB! BUT HE HANGS ON!! IT’S THE TRIPLE POWERBOMB! GEEEZUS! THREE POWERBOMBS IN A ROW! CHRISTIAN SPLAYED OUT IN THE RING, MOTIONLESS! A PIN! HE GOT HIM!!



ONE!!





























































TWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!























































































TTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHREEEEEEEEEEEAGAIN!AGAIN! HE KICKS OUT AGAIN!

EMAII: “No . . .no!!! This cannot be! How can he withstand this much hatred?! How was he the stronger one?! HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEFEATED THIS EVENING!”

LH: “Fighting Mad Jesus scraped Crimson Christian off the mat! He’s not waiting for him to rise! He – HE’S LIFTING HIM UP! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! COMMUNION! HE’S GOT HIM UP FOR – AND HE HITS IT! COMMUNION! COMMUNION! COMMUNION! FIGHTING MAD JESUS FINALLY ENDS IT! HE GOT IT! HE GOT ALL OF IT! AND ANOTHER COVER! FINALLY!




ONE!!!






















































TTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!













































































































TTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEENO! NO! WHAT?! WHAT IS HAPPENING!? CRIMSON CHRISTIAN KICKS OUT! HE KICKS OUT!”

EMAII: “…I have openly despised both of these men in the past, and while I still desire both of them to be consumed by ravenous insects which are also on fire as they devour them, I am compelled to say that I, for one, find this resilience admirable.”

LH: “The Crimson Christian . . .my God, how much can he take?! How much will he put himself through?! WAIT! JESUS SUDDENLY POUNCING ON THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN! HE’S PUMMELING HIM! PUNCHES TO THE HEAD AND FACE! CHRISTIAN’S HEAD IS BOUNCING OFF THE MAT! JESUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

EMAII: “Frustrated, Jesus?! Frustrated that your Father’s power cannot do your dirty work for you!?”

LH: “The ref is tearing him off! This was just too much for Jesus! He’s angry! He’s bitter! He’s doing everything he can to keep himself under control! The ref is forcing Jesus to stand away from the Crimson Christian, and now he’s checking on him to see if he can continue! His face is bruised! He might be bleeding inside! He’s taken so much punishment, it’s inhuman! BUT HE’S NOT GIVING UP! Christian is dragging himself to the ropes! He’s pulling himself up, one rope at a time! He’s hanging on the second rope, dangling, like he doesn’t know where he is, but he’s still trying to rise! He grabs the top rope! The tenacity, the determination, this is unheard of! It’s inhuman! The Crimson Christian back on his feet! He’s swaying, but he sees Fighting Mad Jesus!”

EMAII: “Could there be one more burst of dark hope to be found?!”

LH: “He’s staggering over! He doesn’t have the strength left to charge! But he’s raising his left hand . . .and a punch to Jesus! Jesus . . .Jesus just takes it! He’s not fighting back!”

EMAII: “He has accepted his fate, then!”

LH: “No, Jesus looks unfazed! There’s another punch! Crimson Christian punching again! There’s another, but look! There’s almost no force behind it! He’s got nothing left! He’s out of strength! He’s out of adrenaline! Whatever was fueling him is only giving him enough to stay on his feet! His body is still fighting without a mind to guide it!”

EMAII: “PFAH! I should have known! He burned himself out! The hatred was too much! The pain too deep! The Crimson Christian could not handle such dark powers!”

LH: “He’s slapping at Jesus’s chest now, taking everything he has to just lift his arms! Jesus still not fighting back. He’s taking this assault, he’s taking everything CC’s got! All his pain, all his anger, all his sorrow, he’s letting CC take it out on him! Jesus standing tall as Christian Matthews sinks to his knees! He’s still trying to punch, but there’s just nothing left in his body! Jesus looking down with such pity, such compassion as the Crimson Christian’s arms go limp! He’s given all he has! That’s it! The tank is finally empty!”

EMAII: “BAH!!!”

LH: “Jesus now, slowly placing a hand on the Crimson Christian, and he’s lifting him up again! Christian looks out of it, but he’s rising at the touch of Jesus! He’s bringing him up, and now the two are standing facing each other! Jesus looking into Christian’s eyes! What does he see? What is he looking for?! Christian staring back, what is passing between these two men?”

EMAII: “I hope it’s the plague!”

LH: “Jesus – JESUS LIFTING HIM UP!! HE’S . . . THIS IS THE PREACHING PILEDRIVER! HE’S IN POSITION FOR THE PREACHING PILEDRIVER!! FIGHTING MAD JESUS WITH THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN’S OWN FINISHER – HE HITS IT! CHRISTIAN IS DOWN! HE’S DOWN!! JESUS PLACES A HAND ON HIS CHEST!! THE REFEREE SLIDES IN!!

OOOOONNNNNNEEEE!!


























































TTTTTTTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!





















































































































TTTHHHHHHHHHHHHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!



*DingDingDing!!*

It's all good
It's all right
Everybody gets laid tonight

PETE DUX: “The winner of this match . . . as the result of a PINFALL! FIIIIIGHTTIIINNG MAAAAAAAAAAD JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUUUUUUUSSS!”

It's all good
It's all right
Everybody gets laid tonight


LH: “IT’S OVER! IT’S OVER! JESUS WINS! JESUS WINS!”

EMAII: “FAH! And now these two shall reconcile and put their pain behind them. This is the worst night ever! I pray to my dark gods every moment that a meteor swarm eliminates everyone in this building except me!”

LH: “Jesus still with that hand on the chest of the Crimson Christian, and he’s now starting to slowly lift his friend up! Jesus rising, and bringing Christian with him! He’s not letting him go! He’s embracing the Crimson Christian, bringing him to his feet! He’s telling him he’ll be his strength! He’ll take his pain, his anger, all of it! He just wants to put this behind him!”

EMAII: “He is telling him no such thing!”

LH: “His actions speak for him!”

EMAII: “His actions are those of a puppeteer manipulating his marionette. FAH! FAH I SAY!”

LH: “Jesus hugging the Crimson Christian, and CC finally reacting! He’s . . . LOOK! HE’S HUGGING HIM BACK! HE’S HUGGING FIGHTING MAD JESUS! TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN HIS FACE! Christian is nodding! He finally got it all out! All of his demons, all the rage and pain he was drowning in, he got it all out! Now he can grieve! Now he can heal! Now he can finally start looking towards the future again!”

EMAII: “You have no future, Crimson Christian! You are a puppet, have been a puppet, and now will always be! You had your chance to be free, to sever your strings, and you let it go! BAH! ONE DAY, JESUS! ONE DAY, I WILL TEAR YOU DOWN!”

LH: “This crowd is cheering relentlessly! This is what they wanted! Fighting Mad Jesus and the Crimson Christian reunited! And Jesus is raising the Crimson Christian’s arm! He’s holding him out for the crowd to see! The Crimson Christian is bruised, he is bloody and beaten, but these people are still behind him! Jesus is still behind him! We’re all still – “

(A collective gasp of shock followed by a wail of dismay so overpowering that it seems some inhuman manifestation of sorrow rises from the crowd, immediately following the sounds of two gruesome, sick-sounding impacts.)

LH: “WHAT?! NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS?! NO! THIS CAN’T BE!”

EMAII: “WHAT!? IM . . . IMPOSSIBLE!”

LH: “JESUS . . . JESUS JUST CLOTHESLINED CHRISTIAN TO THE MAT! JESUS JUST FLOORED THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN! WHY, JESUS?! WHY!?”

EMAII: “What is happening?! What is this?!”

LH: “No! NO! THIS CAN’T BE! DON’T DO THIS! NO! JESUS HEAVING THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN UP BY HIS NECK AND SHAKING HIM! HE’S SHOUTING IN HIS FACE! LOOK AT THE SCORN! LOOK AT THE HATRED! AND JESUS SPITS IN CHRISTIAN’S FACE!! HE SLAMS HIM DOWN TO THE MAT!! JESUS KICKING THE CRIMSON CHRISTIAN IN THE RIBS! THIS IS OBSCENE! SOMEBODY STOP THIS! STOP IT!”

EMAII: “NO! CONTINUE! I must see how this plays out!”

LH: “Fighting Mad Jesus drags the Crimson Christian up . . .and he chucks him out over the top rope! Crimson Christian is helpless! He is lifeless! Jesus is in the ring! What is going on?! Somebody explain this! What just happened! WAIT! Jesus is calling for a microphone! What could he possibly have to say for himself?! What could justify what just happened?!”

EMAII: “Never in a thousand dark Sabbaths in the foulest pits of hades would I have guessed this could transpire!”

FIGHTING MAD JESUS: “Such . . . such is the fate of all who stand in my way. A friend? Is that what you’re all thinking right now? That he was my friend? How could I do that to my best friend? Is that what you want to know?

(FMJ takes a slow, simmering glower out across the assembled fans. Some are openly sobbing at what they’ve witnessed. Others are simply stunned into silence. A few, a vocal few, have begun booing Fighting Mad Jesus.)

FIGHTING MAD JESUS: “To which I say to thee . . . WHAT FRIEND? I stood by his side for years, through all of his doubt, through all of his lack of faith, I was always there with him! And at the first hint of tragedy, what does he do? HE BLAMES ME! HE CASTS HIS EYES TO ME AND SAYS “HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU FAIL ME? ME? ME?! HE FAILED ME! YOU HAVE ALL FAILED ME!”

(Jesus stomps across the ring, pointing an accusatory finger out towards the crowd, his eyes blazing with disdain.)

FIGHTING MAD JESUS: “I have toiled endlessly for your souls! I have fought and bled so that you all may live, and to what does it avail me?! My “closest friend,” the one nearest to me, the one fighting at my side for our mission, he betrays me! You all ALWAYS betray me! That is why I say unto thee, NOT ONE of you is worthy of being saved! Time and time again you have turned your back on me, with your constant sins, your misappropriation of my word, and now your doubt that I am who I am! I am sick! Of! ALL OF IT! The Crimson Christian was just the first! From this point forth, ALL WILL SUFFER! THE TIME OF FORGIVENESS HAS PASSED! NOW BEGINS THE AGE OF JUDGMENT, AND WOE UNTO THOSE WHO EARN THE PUNISHMENT OF FIGHTING MAD JESUS!”

(Jesus stands in the center of the ring as the cries of despair from the audience are slowly overpowered. Those in shock begin coming around, and a vocal minority begins growing in size and magnitude. By the time he is finished speaking, the NEFW faithful are loudly booing.)

FIGHTING MAD JESUS: “Yes, finally. Be honest with yourselves. Show me the hatred you’ve always harbored for me in your hearts! Because I challenged you to be better! I challenged you to rise to the will of my Father! I challenged humanity, and humanity turned its back on me! You were all too weak! You chose to grow fat and stupid, and with every new sin you slapped me in the face again! I took nails for you! I suffered the cross! I gave my life so that you all might live, AND NOW YOU WASTE THOSE LIVES! So when you see the destruction I wreak upon this world, when you hear the cries of suffering coming from those who defy me, when you see the tears I drag out of my enemies from this point forth, YOU WILL KNOW THAT IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT! SO SAYETH THE LORD!”

(Fighting Mad Jesus throws the microphone down. Even as he does, an empty Coke can careens into the ring. It is simply the harbinger of what is to come. Bottles and beer cans, streamers, torn signs, everything and anything that is on hand, the fans begin tossing towards him. Garbage soon fills the ring as FMJ shakes his head, sneering at the audience. He steps boldly over the top rope, jumping down to where the Crimson Christian still lay unmoving. EMTs are carefully preparing to move him to a stretcher. Callously, Fighting Mad Jesus flips it over, letting him fall to the floor. As the boos and catcalls intensify, he drags together all the pieces of the Cross he can with a single swipe of his hands, and then turns to unceremoniously dump them atop the Crimson Christian’s motionless body.)

(The goliath begins marching up the ramp, unmoved and uncaring at the sound of the people jeering at him, unfazed by the flying objects which occasionally bounce off his arms or at his feet. Fighting Mad Jesus continues walking towards the back as the back as the camera focuses in on the Crimson Christian receiving emergency treatment. No music plays, and the sounds of the EMTs are audible to the camera as the audience continues to boo while the scene fades to black . . .)
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(A desolate wasteland fills the screen. The ground is flat and barren, and through a veil of gray, languorous clouds not even a single shaft of light penetrates to illuminate the cracked, lifeless surface. Somewhere, a violin gives a slow, tormented screech.)

(An image appears, flashing by quickly. A gun next to a family portrait in a picture frame. Blood is splattered upon it. The face of the father is blotted out completely by the red, coppery spray. The image is grainy and dull.)

(Suddenly, the gun is gone, and the scene is bright. The photo sits undisturbed, all faces are visible, all traces of blood cleaned away. The image flashes back and forth, a sour striking note accompanying each switch, until it returns to the wasteland. Two black-clothed figures wait there, their faces concealed.)

VOICE: “Did you make . . . the right choice?”

SECOND VOICE: “There’s no turning back now.”

(In the blink of an eye, the camera is suddenly directly upon them, but now it’s too close to make out any of their features.)

VOICE: “The decision has been made.”

SECOND VOICE: “The circle is complete.”

(A cigarette burn suddenly pierces the image. Even as the voices speak again, the celluloid begins slowly being eaten away, dissolving the wasteland as the violin screeches . . .)

VOICE: “For every decision.”

SECOND VOICE: “There is a consequence.”

(The scene cuts to an absolute blackness . . .)

VOICE: “Tonight.”

(The ominous crash of a drum ends the scene. The camera fades out . . .)

(The camera fades back in and we find ourselves backstage. EMTs are rushing past with the Crimson Christian on a gurney. One frantically checks his eyes with a flashlight as two others push him forward towards the loading bay, where the swirling red lights of a waiting ambulance can be seen. The buzz from the crowd can be heard even backstage as the Crimson One’s unmoving body is wheeled past.)

(Then, a great moan is heard from the audience as a form emerges from the shadows. Dark, dispassionate eyes observe the Crimson Christian being carted out. Still, though his eyes remain mirthless, the hint of a smirk passes across the eyes of Drayven.)

DRAYVEN: “It would appear our darkness is spreading even faster than we’d hoped.”

(The camera pulls back to find Suess, impeccably dressed in white, with Scirocco standing studiously behind him. Suess takes a measured bite from a pear, cocking an eyebrow as the scene plays out before him.)

SUESS: “Well then, gentlemen, if that is the case, now is the most appropriate time to strike, isn’t it?”

SCIROCCO: “It’s time, father.”

(Suess raises his hand to the young boy, but lowers it without making contact. He only nods surreptitiously.)

SUESS: “Indeed. Shall we?”

DRAYVEN: “Come.”

(Drayven turns and strides forward as if his heel spurns the Earth. Suess carefully wraps his pear in a napkin, handing it to his son before adjusting the cuffs of his white suit jacket, and then he follows, Scirocco keeping close by.)

(The camera unceremoniously cuts back to ringside, Pete Dux already in the ring as a now-completed steel cage lowers down, it’s large black bars ominously enveloping it.)

PETE DUX: “The following match . . .scheduled for one fall . . . is our MAIN EVENT!”

(The still-stunned crowd tries to react, but many are still in shock from what they’ve just seen transpire with Fighting Mad Jesus. Lester Holland and Evil Masked Announcer II are silent on commentary.)

PETE DUX: “This match will be . . . a HANDICAP STEEL CAGE MATCH! Introducing first . . . “

(A moment of strained silence stretches out through the crowd as Dux’s words fade. The camera pans up to the top of the entrance ramp. The environmentally-friendly themed decorations of the show, including a large electronic Recycling symbol superimposed upon the NEFieTron, seem out of place given what the crowd has just witnessed. Everyone seems frozen by what they’ve just witnessed.)

Unh, come on

(Just like that, a wave of life sweeps through the crowd as they remember that the night isn’t over yet.)

I don't walk, I stalk, livin' foul like pork
Shuttin' down underground streets of New York
Hawk is what them niggas call me, 'cause they all be
Suckin' my dick and on my mother fucking balls, G
I know the half, so I laugh wit' 'em

PETE DUX: “FROM LONDON, ENGLAND, weighing in at TWWWWO HUNDRED aaand SEVENTY-SEVEN pounds . . . “

Blood bath went I let the fuckin' rap hit 'em
Full clip, but only half did 'em
That's all it took, another crook
Taken out over a dirty look
I bag game with niggas I leave shot dead

(The crowd of close to 4,000 begins coming to their feet as the NEFieTron blazes to life to the tune of “Nowhere to Run” by DMX, Ozzy Osbourne, and ODB. Black and white lights flicker with a strobe effect throughout the MassMutual Center as, in bright white letters, the words “LEGENDS NEVER DIE” burst across the screen.)

You're only taken a piss from me with hot led
You know my style nigga, 'cause I'm always schemin'
In jail, niggas holdin' a sink screamin'

(A spotlight falls upon the top of the entrance ramp as the music continues. At this point, the crowd has been revived, the sight they know is coming driving them back from the brink. Suddenly, with no impetus, a plume of smoke shoots out upon the ramp so powerfully that the entire top of the ramp is whited out in an instant. Nothing can be seen through the obscuring cloud.)

Police, but you got no peace
Yo, was that you big man, and alot mo' grease
All I gets is pounds, you ain't want none of this
Back streets are like track meets 'cause I be runnin' this

(A figure emerges, a hazy outline just visible through the mist. Tall, powerful, and familiar. The form’s hands are clasped in front of his near seven-foot frame, but they slowly move to clasp the edges of a large coat surrounding him. In one snap motion, the figure’s head rises towards the ring, and a great gust of wind dispels the fog as quickly as it came, leaving the man in the spotlight revealed.)

Ain't nowhere to run ('cause I be runnin' this)
Ain't nowhere to hide (come on)

PETE DUX: “HE IS THE NIGHT’S CRUSADER . . . . .BLAAAAAAAAAADDDE!!”

Ain't nowhere to go ('cause I be runnin' this)
Reaper saved your soul (come on)

(Blade stands at the top of the ramp, his dark brown hair tumbling to his shoulders as he lifts his head out towards the crowd. The sight of him is like a splash of cool water, a great relief to the audience who just bore witness to the heinous acts they saw just minutes earlier. With a nod towards the fans, a cheer breaks out, as if his very presence makes it seem like things will be okay.)

Surrounded by the colors, I see crimson, black and blue (come on)
Locking open doors again, I'm still afraid of you (straight up, mother fucker)
Light to dark, then light again, I always thought I knew (come on)
Young to old and young again, what's left for me to do? (straight up)

(Blade begins making his way down the ramp, the swirling lights upon him reflecting off of the surface of the white broadswords emblazoned upon his black tights. The NEFW’s most successful champion pauses as he reaches the ringside area, bending down to retrieve something. He rises, and the crowd sees he has a piece of the shattered Cross in his hand.)

Center of the universe, collecting me in time (come on)
I'm falling down upon the earth, and singing truth in rhyme (come on)
If I was a rolling stone, I'd roll until I'm through (come on)
And if I was a garden I would bloom in black for you (Dirt Dog in effect)

(Slowly, Blade turns towards the ramp, holding the Cross shard aloft as his eyes narrow dangerously. With careful ease, he sets the shard back down upon the ground, and then enters the foreboding steel structure before him.)

Ain't nowhere to run ('cause I be runnin' this)
Ain't nowhere to hide (come on)
Ain't nowhere to go ('cause I be runnin' this)
Reaper saved your soul (come on)

(Blade ascends into the ring, grasping one of the steel bars surrounding him, and then removes the silver crucifix from around his neck. He loops it around one of the ring posts, letting it hang there as he slowly backs away. The music fades as his eyes drift towards the top of the entranceway.)

LH: “Thank God for Blade, is all I can say. The Night’s Crusader’s presence is reassuring to the fans, heck, to me.”

EMAII: “It burns! IT BURNS!”

LH: “Yes, all is truly right with the world.”

EMAII: “Laugh while you can, Holland! We have witnessed the unthinkable tonight! Even I cannot fathom what the fallout of this turn of events shall be. But I do know one thing beyond the shadow of a doubt – the Fallen have orchestrated this cage match and singled out Blade! The unknown element of Brandon Charm has been removed! And now the Fallen will topple the NEFW’s greatest hope!”

LH: “I sincerely hope you’re wrong, Evil Masked Announcer II, because after our last match, I don’t know if the NEFW Faithful can handle another blow like that.”

EMAII: “Do not use my full name! You sound as if you are scolding me. NONE SHALL SCOLD EVIL!”

PETE DUX: “Aaaaand introducing next . . . his first opponent . . . he is ONE HALF of THE FALLEN . . .

(The crowd shrieks collectively as without any sort of preamble, the two faux wind turbines at the entrance ramp suddenly erupt into pillars of green flame. The entire arena is bathed in a dark, sickly green light as an intense beat begins pounding out of the speakers.)

"I am the new way to go"
"I am the way of the future"
"I am the new way to go"
"I am the way of the future"
"There's a lot innocent people being crucified"

PETE DUX: “From PARTS UNKNOWN . . .weighing in at TWO hundred and SEVENTY-FIVE pounds . . .”

you things things things of the flesh do it slow
down avenues fuck me lust my eyes
licking lips encouraging mr. careworn
to gaze upon a screen bask on after the flesh
we'll infect your carnal mind after the flesh

PETE DUX: “DRAAAAAAAAYYYYYVVEEEEENNN!”

I walked through forests with ugly spirits
kissed their feet and found them calm calm calm
still I don't have any money money money
my body suffers after the flesh

"I am the way of the future"
"They blew his brains out at gunpoint"
"I am the new way to go"
"I am the way of the future"
"Get in and fasten your seatbelt,"

(A wave of green flame sweeps out of the entrance, burning itself out just moments before it would have reached the crowd. From the trail of smoke it leaves behind, brought forth by “After the Flesh” by My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult, Drayven stands at the top of the ramp. He strides disinterestedly, almost bored, towards the cage. Stripes of black leather hang from his long black trenchcoat, emblazoned with patterns the likes of which no one can decipher. He pauses halfway down the ramp, clasping his arms in front of him as his music slowly fades, never removing his gaze from Blade.)

LH: “These two have been rivals since the day they both stepped foot in the NEFW. And if we’re keeping score here, let’s not forget that it was Drayven who emerged on top at the 3 Kings Match during Twelve Beatings, besting both Blade and Chaos!”

EMAII: “Yes, and perhaps in that victory some of the evil in his soul bled into Fighting Mad Jesus?”

LH:” It’s as good a theory as any, I’m afraid.”

EMAII: “Also, let us not forget Drayven defeated Blade yet again at Love and War!”

LH: “Wha – he only won because Suess turned on Blade and threw the match!”

EMAII: “IRRELEVANT!”

LH: “Either way, Drayven out here now, one half of Blade’s opponents for the night. Boy, I gotta tell you, you don’t find many people with guts like Blade. He came into this show thinking he’d be teaming with Brandon Charm, only to find out midway through that it’s not just a handicap match, but a handicap match inside a steel cage! And he still comes out here! There has never been anyone like Blade, folks, and there likely never will be!”

EMAII: “And after tonight, there will no longer be any Blade at all, for the Fallen shall take full advantage of his foolish hubris to eradicate him for good and all, thus beginning the true downfall of the NEFW!”

LH: “Why would you want to see this place go out of business? They pay us!”

EMAII: “I am independently wealthy.”

PETE DUX: “And his tag team partner . . .”

(Immediately the crowd’s mood shifts. From the spectacular relief and elation they felt at the arrival of Blade and the quiet, fearful dread at the sight of Drayven, they immediately launch into full-on revulsion at the next person to step through the entranceway.)

Then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
It's just a freight train comin’ your way

(As Metallica’s “No Leaf Clover” begins playing, the crowd quickly discerns that the music is not coming from the arena sound system. The camera suddenly focuses in on a copse of trees arranged at one side of the entrance ramp to fit the environmental theme. Noticeably, the fact that they are beginning to rise up out of the ground.)

Don't it feel right like this
All the pieces fall to his wish

PETE DUX: “From CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA, weighing in at TWO hundred and sixty-FIVE pounds . . .”

Sucker for that quick reward boy
Sucker for that quick reward they said.....

(The trees continue to rise, revealing that underneath them is an entire hidden room. A 10-piece orchestra sits inside the round chamber, playing as the previously-hidden pit slowly rotates 180 degrees. It rises as it turns, and within a few moments it has come high enough that we can see a white-clad figure standing, facing the crowd, a cold smile on his lips.)

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Is just a freight train coming your way
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Is just the freight train coming your way......

PETE DUX: “SUUUUUEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!”

It's coming your way
It's coming your way......
Here comes

(A circle of pyro shoots out as Suess emerges, gently tucking a pair of gold glasses into the pocket of his white suit jacket as one hand leans in on his cane. The rotating platform comes to a stop with him facing the ring. With a flourish, he removes the top hat on his head and bows towards the crowd, which greets him with a chorus of boos and catcalls. Suess steps forward, followed closely behind by Scirocco. Suess puts his hat back on, checks his gold watch, and then begins striding to the ring luxuriously as his personal orchestra continues playing him in.)

Yeah, Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Is just a freight train coming your way.... Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...

(Suess walks down towards the ring as Drayven begins resuming his slow drift down the ramp. They meet at the bottom, staring into the cage where Blade awaits. Suess removes his hat and jacket gingerly, taking time to work off his fine white gloves and Rolex before carefully handing them to Scirocco. His son carefully handles each item as Drayven releases a clasp around the neck of his coat, letting the heavy leather article fall to his feet.)

Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah

(As the orchestra pit slowly descends back where it came from, leaving the faux grove back on the floor beside the ramp, Suess and Drayven begin circling the ring, Blade following them with slow head turns as the Fallen size up their opponent. The fans instantly begin a Blade chant as Suess takes hold of the door to the cage, graciously allowing Drayven to enter first. Suess brings Scirocco close to whisper some last-minute instructions to his offspring, and then he follows Drayven in. A referee on the outside closes the door as the ref in the cage points the Fallen off to one side of the ring as he prepares to begin.)

LH: “Well this won’t be fair at all. Suess and Drayven both former NEFW Champions, both tremendous competitors. Either one of them would be a worthy opponent for Blade, and we know he and Drayven have had some spectacular battles in the past. But this is both of them, at once, in a steel cage. I’ll tell you, Blade may have been in tougher spots, but I sure can’t remember when.”

EMAII: “This match has set me at ease after my thoughts were thrown into turmoil after the last match. This is a simple case of good vs. evil, so now I may calmly relax and enjoy seeing evil crush good and grind its body down into a distilled juice to enjoy with brunch.”

LH: “This travesty is about to get started, as we – “

In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through the mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected,and steppin' out over the line

EMAII: “WHAT IS THIS?!”

LH: “That’s the GM’s music! What’s going on?”

h-Oh, Baby this town rips the bones from your back
It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get out while we're young
`Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run

(Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” turns every head towards the entrance ramp, including those of the Fallen. After a long moment of the music playing, Simon Pollinetti steps out from behind the curtain, head held high as he surveys the ring. Drayven is as expressionless as ever, but Suess’s eyes narrow as he begins to smell a rat. With a gesture, Pollinetti cuts the music, bringing a microphone to his lips.)

POLLINETTI: “Suess . . . Drayven. . . it would seem you got everything you wanted tonight.”

(The two share a glance in the ring as the General Manager takes a step to the side, placing a hand in his pocket as he looks them over.)

POLLINETTI: “A month ago you were set to face Blade and Brandon Charm. You demanded a cage match. I refused. Today, I come into work to find an email from our financial backer informing me that Brandon Charm is cut from the match and barred from ringside. Then I find that cage being constructed, with orders that it be in place for this match. So, you not only get a handicap match, you get it in the environment you requested. Seems like everything has worked out your way.”

(Drayven remains silent as Suess contemplates what is happening. Scirocco appears flustered on the outside as Blade merely smirks, sensing something coming. The fans begin murmuring, knowing that the GM has something up his sleeve.)

POLLINETTI: “Well as it turns out, you may have robbed Blade of his tag team partner, but no edict was ever handed down changing the form of this match. It’s scheduled as a tag match, and if it’s going to be a tornado-style match inside that cage, so be it. Because this IS a tag match, Blade DOES have a partner, and we’re starting this Tag Team Tornado Cage Match – right now!”

Welcome to a city that'll bring you to your knees
It'll make you beg for more, until you can't even breathe
Your blindfold is on tight, but you like what you see
So follow me into the night, cuz I got just what you need

(No sooner does “Been to Hell” by the Hollywood Undead begin playing then Chaos bursts out from behind the curtain, making a dash for the ring. Drayven and Suess realize what’s happening and quickly turn and bum rush Blade, double-teaming him as the Night’s Crusader tries to fend both of them off. Scirocco places himself in Chaos’s path, but Chaos plows over him, tearing the door to the cage open and sliding inside, where he makes a bee-line for Drayven.)

We're all rollin' down the boulevard, full of pimps and sharks
It's a motherfuckin' riot, we've been dying to start
You better grab a hold cuz now you know you're falling apart
You thought these streets were paved in gold
but they're dirty and dark

LH: “CHAOS AND BLADE! THE BROTHERHOOD! THE BROTHERHOOD REUNITED!”

EMAII: “CURSE YOU, POLLINETTI! How dare you thwart the Fallen’s evil scheme!”

*DingDingDing!*

LH: “Chaos leaping right for Drayven! Chaos battering The Dark One with rights and lefts! And look! Blade and Suess, exchanging punches! The Fallen no longer with the numbers advantage! It’s the Brotherhood! The Brotherhood vs. The Fallen!”

EMAII: “Why . . .this is the work of Brandon Charm! This was the bargain Chaos spoke of earlier! He changed places with him!”

LH: “I think you’re right! Blade overpowering Suess, and Chaos just whipped Drayven across the ring – and Blade whips Suess . . .INTO DRAYVEN! Drayven and Suess collide, and both men go down! The Brotherhood sharing a glance . . .and stereo elbow drops onto the Fallen!”

EMAII: “BAH! Teamwork, when will you cease hounding me?!”

LH: “The Brotherhood not missing a step, and there’s a tandem set of Irish whips onto the Fallen, and both men get clotheslined down! Blade and Chaos taking the Fallen apart! This is great! The crowd is loving it!”

EMAII: “The crowd is fodded unaware of the sacrificial alchemical sigil I have inscribed around the arena! Soon they shall power my philosopher’s stone!”

LH:” I get that reference.”

EMAII: “You would, you nerd.”

LH: “Suess backing up into the corner as Chaos takes on Drayven! Blade going after Suess, and Chaos with a suplex to Drayven in the middle of the ring. Blade with a haymaker – no, Suess ducks underneath, and strikes Blade across the chin with an elbow! Suess now ducking quickly out of the way as Drayven rises. Chaos back on the attack, sending Drayven into the corner. Chaos comes in – but Drayven gets a boot up! Chaos staggers back, and now Drayven with a running forearm strike! Chaos and Blade both staggered, and the Fallen reunite!”

EMAII: “Ha! Your momentary advantage has crumbled, forces of good! Now that they have come together, not even Blade and Chaos together shall be able to fend off the might of the Fallen!”

LH: “Blade quickly bringing Chaos to his feet as Suess and Drayven reassess things. They’re planning quickly as the Brotherhood recovers, and now Drayven goes after Blade! The Fallen switching dance partners! Drayven going toe-to-toe with Blade! Chaos going to help him – but no, Suess cuts him off, putting him in a hammerlock from behind! And he turns that into a belly-to-back suplex! Blade fighting off Drayven, and there’s a boot to the gut from Blade! Blade looking to – no! Suess cuts him off with a flying forearm strike! The Fallen have turned the tables! Both members of the Brotherhood down!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHA! As it should be! As it should be.”

LH: “Drayven and Suess both taking the near seven-foot Blade and whipping him across the ring. Blade off the ropes, and a double back-body drop from the Fallen! Blade landing flat on his back, and the Fallen turn – but here comes Chaos! Chaos launching into the Fallen like a house of fire! Rights and lefts to Suess, no, here comes Drayven – arm drag by Chaos! Drayven down and Chaos going for a rear headlock, quickly dragging Drayven up. No time for long holds in this type of environment!”

EMAII: “How dare Chaos lay hands upon Drayven! He is practically evil royalty! Drayven! Feed him to a dragon! I know you have one!”

LH: “Chaos heaving Drayven up, and INTO A GERMAN SUPLEX! German on Drayven!! Chaos coming back up – but he meets a kick to the gut by Suess! But look, Blade is back on his feet! Suess sees it to, and he’s putting some distance between himself and the Brotherhood now.”

EMAII: “Suess is a planner, a strategist! He is even now formulating a plan to bring the Brotherhood to its knees. He needs only time to think, and all of this shall quickly be over!”

LH: “Maybe so, but Suess didn’t think he’d be facing two men out here, and he certainly didn’t plan for Chaos! Blade and Chaos both going for Suess now, but look! Drayven just sat up! Drayven recovering, and Suess goes for a standing dropkick – Chaos catches his legs! Slingshot – NO! Drayven pops up!! Drayven catches Suess – and AIRPLANE SPINS HIM – LEGS FIRST INTO THE BROTHERHOOD!! Drayven just used Suess as a bludgeoning instrument to knock over Blade and Chaos!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHAHAHA! When you are evil, all things living and dead, are potential bludgeoning implements!”

LH: “The Fallen now singling out Blade, both of them grabbing one of his arms – and they smash Blade into the steel cage!! Blade hammered into the steel bars, and the Night’s Crusader falls to the pine! Blade clutching his neck, and the Fallen turning their attention to Chaos! The Fallen are such a deadly combination, so quick, so smart, so powerful!”

EMAII: “Yes, the power of Drayven with the mind of Suess! Such an unstoppable combination has never before existed in the NEFW! The Bounty Hunters, Mass Destruction, Twisted Steel! They all lacked what the Fallen possess! And with that power, they shall tear down this company, one hero at a time!”

LH: “The Fallen closing in on Chaos, th – ACE CRUSHER! ACE CRUSHER! CHAOS SNAPS UP! ACE CRUSHER TO SUESS! CHAOS JUST CRUSHED THE FORMER PEOPLE’S CHAMP!”

EMAII: “WHAT?!”

LH: “Chaos striking like a snake! Suess is down! Chaos and Drayven now squaring off! Drayven assessing his foe – but Chaos doesn’t give him time!! Chaos tackles Drayven! He’s got him down, and he’s hammering the Dark One with forearm shots! No! Drayven shoves Chaos off! Drayven rising, unperturbed, my God, Drayven is so unstoppable it’s frightening. Drayven rising, but Chaos right back with another pu – Drayven catches his fist! Drayven catches the fist, and now he’s squeezing Chaos’s knuckles! Chaos in obvious pain here, and Drayven turns it into an arm wringer!”

EMAII: “The power of Drayven can never be doubted! He is a machine, fueled by the endless dark desires those around him wish to keep hidden! So long as there is sin in the world, there shall be Drayven!”

LH: “He also has a lot of endurance and technical skills.”

EMAII: “Do not reduce the powers of evil, pitiful Holland!”

LH: “Drayven threatening to crush the arm of Chaos – BUT HERE COMES BLADE! Blade with a flying forearm strike! Blade sends Drayven to the mat! Blade checking on Chaos, his partner telling him to go finish off the Dark One! Blade in – but Drayven meets him with a boot to the gut! Now a whip into the corner, Drayven following after – but Blade explodes out with an elbow! Elbow to the jaw of Drayven! Blade . . . GUTWRENCH SUPLEX! What strength from Blade!”

EMAII: “His moment of triumph shall be short-lived! Behold!”

LH: “Suess! Suess captures Blade from behind . . . and gets him with a hangman’s neckbreaker! Suess weaseling his way into the fight again after that Ace Crusher by Chaos earlier, and now he’s shouting orders at Scirocco through the cage. Scirocco’s been haunting the outside area here, what has he got planned?”

EMAII: “He is no doubt arranging for Blade and Chaos to be given a full Viking funeral post-match.”

LH: “They won’t be dead!”

EMAII: “I do not see how that matters.”

LH: “Chaos on top of Suess now, and he’s got him by the arm – whip into the ropes! But Suess hangs on! Suess hanging on, but Chaos charges – no!! Suess counters! Suess slips forward and propels Chaos face-first into the cage! Wait a second, Scirocco is coming around here! What’s he up to?”

EMAII: “Scirocco, do your sire proud! Stab Chaos in the face!”

LH: “You’re the reason we all have to go through metal detectors to come into work now. Scirocco indeed making his way towards Chaos, but he’s too quick to recover for whatever they had planned. Chaos back on his feet, but Suess quickly setting him up – fisherman’s suplex! Suess hanging on – it’s a cover! Suess has Chaos pinned!


ONE!!


































TWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!




























LH: “Kickout at two and a half! Chaos gets the shoulder up! Gotta hand it to the ref in this match, being able to keep track of everything going on as these four men beat the hell out of each other!”

EMAII: “Bah! The officials are and have always been mere meat puppets. Mmm, that reminds me, I never did get the sandwich I wanted.”

LH: “Blade is back up – and he’s peeling Suess off of Chaos! Blade overpowering Suess – he’s got him up! DARKNESS – NO! NO! Suess counters! KAT’S LAYOVER! SUESS COUNTERS INTO KAT’S LAYOVER! Blade went for Darkness Falls, and Suess countered! Blade is – SPEAR BY CHAOS! SPEAR TAKES DOWN SUESS! Chaos – GOING FOR THE HOUSE OF PAIN!”

EMAII: “Useless! Suess shall never submit, not while Drayven is still supporting him!”

LH: “What are you – OH! LEG LARIAT BY DRAYVEN! Drayven with amazing agility for his size, taking down Chaos with a leg lariat just as he locked in the House of Pain! Suess crawling away frantically as his partner takes over! Drayven whipping Chaos into the ropes . . . and hits a facebuster!! Chaos eats the mat! The Fallen are so tight, so well-oiled, they work as such a flawless unit! Each time one is in trouble the other one appears! The Brotherhood have got to overcome this if they’re going to win!”

EMAII: “There is no overcoming the Fallen! The Brotherhood was thrust together through chance! Maybe with Brandon Charm Blade may have had a chance to win, but neither of these men possess the guile, the willingness to do anything it takes! The Fallen have this trait, and that is why the Brotherhood will lose!”

LH: “Chaos sacrificed his match with Scourge to Charm so that he could be in this match, and from everything I’ve seen he really wants a piece of Drayven. But Drayven – EATS A CLOTHESLINE FROM BLADE! Blade exploding up off the mat – AND CHAOS ROLLS HIM UP!! CHAOS WITH DRAYVEN’S SHOULDERS DOWN!


ONE!!
















































TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!





































































THREE – NO! NO! SUESS BREAKS UP THE PIN! SUESS WITH A LAST SECOND SAVE!

EMAII: “And the world is spared my fury for at least a few more seconds.”

LH: “Blade attacking Suess, but Drayven now back up! Drayven and Chaos brawling as Blade hammers Suess with forearms. Drayven – no, Chaos ducks underneath a right hand, catches him with an Irish whip – POWERSLAM! Snap powerslam coming off the whip! But Suess rakes the eyes of Blade! Blatant rake of the eyes by Suess!”

EMAII: “Yes, now reach inside and dig out his brain!”

LH: “Suess following up with a knee lift, and Blade is off-balance – Russian Leg Sweep by Suess! Blade down! Suess turning to – WAIT! Blade is down, but not out! He grabs Suess’s ankle! Suess tripped up, falling face-first to the mat! AND THERE’S CHAOS WITH A BIG SPLASH!”

EMAII: “You remove your filthy torso from Suess’s impeccable outfit! His suit is above being stained with your plebian sweat!”

LH: “Drayven rushing in, staggering Chaos with a double ax-handle, but Blade back on his feet, and now Blade and Drayven are battling back and forth! Big right hands by The Night’s Crusader, but Drayven shaking them off! Knife-edge chop by Drayven! Drayven with another chop, but Blade fights back with another big right hand! And there’s a knee to the Dark One’s gut – OH! OH! DRAYVEN BEING SET UP! Blade has him in position for Darkness Falls – NO! NO! Drayven fighting out of it – back body drop! Blade falls to the mat! Chaos rushing him – but Drayven flings him face-first into the cage!”

EMAII: “Behold the true power of darkness, whelps! Blade and Chaos are helpless before the true might of evil, might only Drayven out of everyone else in this worthless federation possesses!”

LH: “Scirocco worming his way towards Chaos, who’s slumped up against the cage! What business does that kid have in this match?”

EMAII:: “Clearly he is here to do the bidding of his father and exterminate the unnecessary elements from this match.”

LH: “I think Scirocco does have some evil intentions in mind as he closes in on Chaos! He’s reaching into his suit jacket, what does – OH! We may never find out!! Chaos just punched Scirocco through the cage bars!! Suess’s spawn is laid out on the floor! Chaos turning around, and he’s seeing red! OH! But now he’s seeing stars! Suess just smashed his head into the cage bars! Suess and Drayven closing in on Chaos – BUT THERE’S A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE FROM BLADE! Both of the Fallen down!”

EMAII: “No! NO!”

LH: “Chaos pulling himself up! Blade has a hold of Drayven! The Brotherhood sharing a look with some fearsome intent – BLADE HAS DRAYVEN UP! CHAOS HAS HIM BY THE SHOULDERS, IT’S, IT’S – “

EMAII: “NO! NOOOOO!”

LH: “DARKNESS FALLS! DARKNESS FALLS! IT’S A 2-MAN DARKNESS FALLS! DRAYVEN GOES DOWN! THEY JUST BROKE HIM IN HALF! BLADE HOOKS THE LEG! IT’S A COVER!!”



OOOOOOONNNNNEEEE!
























































TTTTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!





























































































TTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHREEEEEEEEEEEESUESSDIVESIN!! SUESS DIVES IN! SUESS BREAKS IT UP!

EMAII: “Once again, the day is saved, thanks to . . . . evil!”

LH: “Suess breaking up that pin with a dive that pushes Blade off, but Chaos peeling Suess away! Drayven still down after that 2-man Darkness Falls, and Chaos taking the fight to Suess! Drayven is down! If they can take out Suess this match will be over!”

EMAII: “Suess is most dangerous when cornered, for that is when his incredible brain works fastest! Mark my words, pitiful Holland, this is far from over.”

LH: “Chaos overpowering Suess! He’s got him up – THE RAPTURE!”

EMAII: “BAH!”

LH: “No! No! Suess fighting out! He slips down the back – swinging neckbreaker to Chaos!”

EMAII: “YAH!”

LH: “BUT BLADE CHARGES LIKE A RAGING BULL! BLADE SMASHES SUESS’S HEAD INTO THE STEEL CAGE! The Night’s Crusader dragging Suess’s face along those iron bars! The former People’s Champ is being crushed like a grape against the cage! Blade merciless here! Suess paying for his betrayal at Love and War! Blade stands with the NEFW!!”

EMAII: “He will not stand at all before this night is through! Mark my words, tonight Blade shall fall!”

LH: “Blade swinging Suess around like a sack of potatoes, and now he’s got him in position for – A BRAINBUSTER! BRAINBUSTER TO SUESS! BLADE WITH THE COVER! HE’S DOWN! HE’S DOWN!



ONE!!





































TTTTTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
















































THHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRREEEEEE- NO! KICKOUT BY SUESS!

EMAII: “YES! EVIL PERSEVERES! Suess shall not be done in by mere brute force! He is a gentleman of far too great a persuasion to fall to anything less than the most cunning of barbarism!”

LH: “The Brotherhood working in tandem now, whipping Suess into the ropes! Suess comes back, ducks a double clothesline attempt, into the opposite ropes – and Suess comes springing off the ropes! Cross body by Suess – no! Chaos ducks . . . AND BLADE CATCHES HIM! FALL AWAY SLAM! The Brotherhood is in control! Suess and Drayven are down! Wait – what’s happening there? Hey, get away from there! Scirocco on the outside, trying to open the cage door! The official on the outside is trying to stop him, but he’s rattling the door and trying to climb up on the cage!”

EMAII: “As much as I often encourage patricide for the sheer hilarity of it, this time I am rooting for Scirocco! Come to your father’s aid! Save your far more valuable sire!”

LH: “Scirocco up on the cage now, and the ref in the ring is trying to get him to let go. Blade and Chaos yelling at him to get off the cage as well – SUESS FROM BEHIND! SUESS – NO! Chaos saw it coming!! Chaos ducks an attack by Suess! WAIT! Chaos has Suess up – CHAOTIC SLAM – no!! Suess reverses! Suess slaps on a cross-armbreaker in mid-air! Chaos falls to the mat – but there’s Blade to peel Suess off of Chaos! NO! DRAYVEN! DRAYVEN IS BACK UP! A REVERSE SPINNING DDT! DRAYVEN JUST PLANTED BLADE!”

EMAII: “YES! Evil may be temporarily stunned, but it never truly dies!”

LH: “Chaos back up – Suess with a kick to – no! Caught by Chaos – ENZIGUIRI! Chaos is down!! Chaos is down! Oh no! The Fallen have turned the tables in an instant thanks to the distraction from Scirocco! Dammit! OH NO! Drayven heaving Chaos up onto his shoulders! SUESS IS GOING TO THE TOP ROPE! OH NO! OH NO!! THEY’VE GOT HIM! DRAYVEN PUTS HIM IN POSITION – CAT’S CRADLE! CAT’S CRADLE! CAT’S CRADLE TO CHAOS!! NO! NO!! SCIROCCO JUMPS OFF THE DAMN CAGE! THE REF SEES THE COVER!!





ONE!!!























































TTWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!











































































TTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHAOSKICKEDOUT!!!!

EMAII: “THIS CANNOT BE!”

LH: “CHAOS KICKED OUT OF THE CAT’S CRADLE! CHAOS KICKED OUT! SUESS CAN’T BELIEVE IT! SUESS IS SPEECHLESS! CHAOS HOLDS ON! THE BROTHERHOOD IS STILL ALIVE!”

EMAII: “Inconceivable! But it matters not! Drayven and Suess are still in control of this match! They will crush any pathetic hopes of recovery these fans have for their pitiful heroes!”

LH: “Blade leaping in, and the Night’s Crusader is taking on Suess and Drayven at once! Blade going back and forth with both of the Fallen, and there’s a headbutt to Suess! Suess tumbles backwards! Now it’s just Blade and Drayven! Drayven implacable as he fights back against Blade’s offense! Blade with a whip to the ropes – Drayven reverses! Blade sent into the ropes, bounces back, Drayven with a running knee lift – no! Blade slides underneath! But there’s Suess! Suess catches Blade with an elbow drop as he slides under Drayven’s knee! Now Suess and Drayven are both stomping away on Blade! Dammit! They’re taking apart the Night’s Crusader!”

EMAII: “Yes . . .yes! I can feel it coming! Behold, worthless followers of goodness and right! The end is upon us!”

LH: “NO! BLADE BURSTS UP! BLADE KNOCKING BOTH MEN BACK! EXPLOSIVE FORCE BY BLADE!”

EMAII: “. . . If this makes me ill, I swear I will vomit directly upon you.”

LH: “Blade with an uppercut to Suess! He’s fuming as he goes after the so-called People’s Champ! Blade takes hold of Suess’s shirt! OH! And he rips it in half! That shirt must have cost a mint, and the Night’s Crusader just shredded it with his bare hands! And now a knife-edge chop to Suess’s exposed chest! Blade now, ramming his knee into Suess’s gut, and – PICKING HIM UP FOR DARKNESS FALLS! DARKNESS – NO! DAMMIT! DRAYVEN WITH THE SAVE! Drayven striking like a jackal on carrion, knocking Blade down! Suess falls to the pine! BUT THERE’S CHAOS! CHAOS IS BACK UP!”

EMAII: “All four men have rejoined the conflict! There has been much suffering, but we are truly reaching their limits now! And now you will see that it is Drayven, and Drayven alone, who stands above all others, and with Suess behind him he is truly unstoppable!”

LH: “Blade recovering quickly! Chaos sending Drayven into the turnbuckle – and following after him with a running clothesline! Drayven is staggered but not down, but look!! Suess rolls up Chaos from beh – no!! Chaos rolls through! AND HE’S HEAVING SUESS UP WITH HIM – SPINEBUSTER! What a burst of strength from Chaos!! BUT THERE’S DRAYVEN! A FLYING ELBOW SMASH TO CHAOS! RIGHT IN THE FACE! BUT HE EATS A BIG BOOT FROM BLADE!”

EMAII: “This is breaking down! What demons shall be released by this pandemonium?”

LH: “Chaos dragging himself up, but so is Suess! Blade has Drayven, and he sends him back into the turnbuckle!! Blade climbing those ropes, what’s he going to – OH! And a punch to Drayven! And another! Another! The crowd is counting along! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! AAAAAAAND TEN!”

EMAII: “BAH! Stop there! It’s not as if these fools can count any higher!”

LH: “The ref is telling Blade to get down, OH! Drayven just shoved Blade into the ref!! The ref is down! Our official just had near-300 pounds of Blade shoved on top of him. Chaos – WAIT! SUESS WITH A DROP TOE HOLD! CHAOS FACE-FIRST INTO THE CAGE! What . . .what’s Suess doing!? Suess is on top of Chaos now, and he’s sticking his arm out through the bars! What’s this – HEY! What’s Scirocco doing there?! He’s reaching in his jacket again, like we saw earlier! What’s this about? Chaos is trying to fight back!! He – HANDCUFFS! NO! NO! SCIROCCO HAS A PAIR OF HANDCUFFS! SUESS IS HOLDING CHAOS DOWN – SCIROCCO JUST HANDCUFFED HIM TO THE CAGE!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHAHAHAHA! A BRILLIANT STRATAGEM! Truly, the mind of Suess is unmatched!”

LH: “THIS IS BLATANT CHEATING! Chaos is handcuffed to the cage!! He’s trying to break free!! Suess now, stomping away at his midsection!! Blade rushing to his aid – but Drayven cuts him off! Blade and Drayven battling again - DAMMIT! DAMMIT! SUESS WITH A LOW BLOW ON BLADE! Drayven has him – PILEDRIVER! PILEDRIVER!!”

EMAII: “Glorious! Absolutely glorious! THIS is the reason the Fallen will never be beaten!”

LH: “What are they – no!! Oh no!! Suess and Drayven are bringing Blade to the ropes!! They’re putting him on top and both climbing up there! What is this!? Don’t tell me! NO! NO!! DON’T DO THIS! IT’S . . . . CAT’S CRADLE – DRAYVEN LEAPING UP – FALL FROM GRACE!! FALL FROM GRACE! A DOUBLE FINISHER! DRAYVEN SPIKED BLADE DOWN AS SUESS HIT THE CAT’S CRADLE!! DRAYVEN STEPPING DOWN ON BLADE’S CHEST AS SUESS DRAGS THE REF OVER! DON’T TELL ME! NO!! NO!! CHAOS IS HANDCUFFED TO THE DAMN CAGE! NOT LIKE THIS!!



ONE!!
































































TTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!














































































































TTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!


*DingDingDing!*

you things things things of the flesh do it slow
down avenues fuck me lust my eyes
licking lips encouraging mr. careworn
to gaze upon a screen bask on after the flesh
we'll infect your carnal mind after the flesh

PETE DUX: “The winners of this match, AS THE RESULT of a PINFALL!! SUESS and DRAAAAYVEN, THHHHEEEEE FAAALLLLEEENNNN!”

I walked through forests with ugly spirits
kissed their feet and found them calm calm calm
still I don't have any money money money
my body suffers after the flesh

LH: “DAMMIT! This isn’t right!! This isn’t right! The Fallen just stole the victory! Outright!!”

EMAII: “MWAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! YES! Let this final tableau be carved into your meaningless minds, you peasants! Blade is fallen! Chaos is helpless! The Brotherhood is defeated and the Fallen stand above all! Evil has triumphed! There is not a single force in this universe that can stem the tide of darkness! NOTHING!”

LH: “First we witnessed what happened with Jesus and the Crimson Christian, and now this! And look at Suess and Drayven! They’re mercilessly stomping away at Blade!! Chaos is trying to break free from those handcuffs – but Suess turns and begins assaulting him as well! The Fallen are destroying the Brotherhood here, who are helpless to defend themselves!”

EMAII: “Because good shall always fall to evil! Good will always BE helpless against evil! This is the beginning of the end for the NEFW! Behold! The Fallen shall end their careers here and now, and with them gone, it is only a matter of time before –

VOICE: “Did you choose wisely?”

EMAII: “ – Wait, what?”

SECOND VOICE: “Your actions . . . have consequences.”

(The lights of the MassMutual center suddenly drop to absolute darkness. The houselights vanish, the ring lights go dark. Not a single spotlight or safety light can be seen. A shroud blankets the arena, as if the concept of light momentarily ceased to exist. Then, with a startling suddenness, the NEFieTron flares to life. Gray clouds, stretched out across an endless horizon. Two figures in black, standing just out of view, but somehow we can all tell that they are staring directly at us.)

VOICE: “I think you’ve forgotten something important.”

SECOND VOICE: “You have enemies . . . there is business you left undone.”

VOICE: “Everything comes back around again.”

SECOND VOICE: “The circle is complete.”

VOICE: “For every action . . .there is a consequence.”

(The camera suddenly zooms in rapidly, and for just a split second, we are able to see the faces of the speakers before the image cuts to darkness. The crowd emits a breathless gasp of shock.)

SECOND VOICE: “Now.”

(The lights flare back to life. The camera is focused in on the cage. Blade is lying face down, and Chaos is clutching his ribs with one arm, still handcuffed to the bars. Drayven and Suess stand in the center of the ring, shock registering on Suess’s face as even Drayven’s eyes go wide.)

(There is no sign that the cage has been disturbed. The door remains closed. It has not lifted from the ring. But two additional forms now stand inside, both garbed in black, and both all-too-familiar to both the crowd and the men in the ring.)

LH: “THAT’S – IT CAN’T BE!”

EMAII: “WHAT?! WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?!”

LH: “IT’S – IT’S – “

(The crowd suddenly bursts into an emotionally exhausted cheer as the two men rush forward, catching the Fallen off-guard completely. Suess and Drayven are both taken down by fearsome lariats as Scirocco, in a panic, flings open the cage door. The two men in black both look up, their faces now in full view of the crowd and the camera.)

LH: “IT’S CROSS AND UNFORGIVEN! THE SAINTS OF DAMNATION! THE SAINTS OF DAMNATION!! THE SAINTS ARE HERE! THEY’RE HERE!”

EMAII: “THIS CANNOT BE! NO! I REFUSE THIS ENDING!”

LH: “SUESS MAKING TRACKS OUT OF THE RING!! CROSS GRABBING DRAYVEN BY THE THROAT!! NO! DRAYVEN BREAKS FREE – BUT HE DIVES FOR THE DOOR! DRAYVEN HIGH TAILING IT! THE FALLEN ARE FLEEING FROM THE SAINTS OF DAMNATION!”

EMAII: “They were supposed to be gone! THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GONE!”

LH: “Suess rushing back up the ramp! Drayven staring a hole in the two of them, but he’s backing away as well! The Saints are here! The Fallen are retreating!”

EMAII: “This isn’t over! THIS HAS JUST BEGUN! MARK MY WORDS, THIS HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN!”

LH: “Indeed it has! Drayven and Suess stole a victory from the Brotherhood, but their past has caught up to them! The Saints of Damnation are back in the NEFW! And for what the Fallen have done, THERE’S GONNA BE HELL TO PAY! Folks, I’m Lester Holland! For the NEFW, for the Brotherhood, for Evil Masked Announcer II, I say thank you for joining us, and GOOD NIGHT!”

EMAII: “IT WILL NOT BE A GOOD NIGHT!”

(The camera slowly fades out, the Fallen at the top of the ramp, still not knowing what to make of the situation as Blade and Chaos slowly recover in the ring. Cross and Unforgiven simply stare back up the ramp, as the question of what could possibly happen next rings on everybody’s lips . . . .)

(The scene fades to black . . .)



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